Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn
This is what the world needs now: two free-thinking “seasoned” Black women speaking their truth and inspiring others to do the same. Shaped by 45 years of friendship that began at the prestigious Brooklyn Technical High School through the Ivy League, medical school, marriages, divorces, triumphs, parenting queer children, life-threatening illness and many many amazing adventures. Each week, besties Leslie Osei-Tutu and Angella Fraser will push against boundaries in love, culture, careers, faith, politics and out-dated assumptions about women of a certain age. Remember, you’re never too old to change your mind…or your hair! (but more on that later :-)All views are our own and do not reflect the views of our institution/company. Information provided is not intended to serve as medical advice.
Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn
“I could never do that!” The bold-face lies we stopped telling ourselves
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Leslie and Angella dismantle the myth that "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" by sharing powerful personal revelations about self-imposed limitations they've overcome in their decades-long friendship.
• Leslie shares how she loved convertible cars for years but never thought she could own one until a lightbulb moment changed everything
• The hosts discuss how we restrict ourselves from joy by assuming certain things aren't "for us"
• Angella reveals her journey to setting boundaries in friendships that don't align with her values
• Leslie opens up about her recent divorce and realized she was deserving of personal fulfillment in her marriage
• The liberation of taking time off work without apology and discovering nobody is indispensable
• The difference between fleeting happiness and deeper, more meaningful joy
• The most significant limitations on what we can do often come from our own minds
What are you restricting yourself from experiencing? What would bring joy to your life that you've convinced yourself isn't for you?
FOLLOW BLACK BOOMER BESTIES FROM BROOKLYN PODCAST:
Visit our website www.blackboomerbesties.com
IG: https://www.instagram.com/blackboomerbestiesfrombrooklyn
FB: https://www.facebook.com/BlackBoomerBoomerBestiesfromBrooklyn
Subscribe Here: @blackboomerbestiesfrombrooklyn
Patreon: https://patreon.com/user?u=83534204
Get Angie’s eBook: We’re Too Old for This Shit! The Inquisitive Older Woman’s Guide to Joy http://joystrategy.co/ebook
Visit Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn website for behind-the-scenes extras.
Episode Introduction
Speaker 1Hey Ange .
Speaker 2Hey Les , How's it going ?
Speaker 1It's going well . The reason I hesitated I'm a little tired .
Speaker 2Yeah so .
Speaker 1I had to get some caffeine nearby .
Speaker 2Oh see , yeah , Vitamin . Yes , I've had a C yeah 20s Busy couple days .
Speaker 1past couple days traveling and doing stuff , so it's like I'm burning a candle at both ends , and that doesn't go over well for old people .
Speaker 2No , we need our rest like we need our soft shoes Because we will get knocked out . Yeah , did you say soft shoes ? Yeah , we need rest and soft . Need our soft shoes .
Speaker 1Because we will get knocked out . Yeah , did you say soft shoes ? Yeah , we need rest and soft shoes , you know ?
Speaker 2Okay , all right , that sounds like an 80-year-old told you that .
Speaker 1Listen , listen .
Speaker 2I don't need soft shoes .
Speaker 1I wear them , but I don't need them . You wear stilettos ? Oh , yeah , okay .
Speaker 2When's the last time I saw you in a pair of six inches ?
Speaker 1It's just , I choose not to . That's all there you go . That's all there you go .
Speaker 2But my lighting just went dark .
Speaker 1As usual , I can fix that .
Speaker 2I don't know why that happens .
Speaker 1I think it needs movement or something it says . She's so bright I'm going to dim a little bit , so it's not to show her up .
Speaker 2Is it better ? I'm going to dim a little bit so as not to show her up , is it better ? No , it's the same . Is it better , but it's okay ? Oh , my goodness , is it okay , though . Is it really ?
Speaker 1So welcome to another episode of Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn .
Speaker 2Hey folks , I'm Angella , and you know who that is .
Speaker 1I'm Leslie .
Speaker 2That's my bestie , leslie . We have been best friends for almost 50 years and you know , this is the thing we are two free-thinking older Black women and we just like having candid conversations about life . We tend to go deep on things , and so and and we have been through a series , a series of series of , of , of changes in our perspectives over the years , and so , as things come up , we bring them here , we talk about them , we agree , we disagree , we fight , we make up , we um we've never fought , Never , ever .
Speaker 1Isn't that crazy ? That's really crazy . We've never had a period where it's like I'm not speaking to that bitch . I'm not talking to her .
Speaker 2Not one time . It's Angie on the phone . Don't answer .
Speaker 1Don't answer . I'm not home . We never do that .
Speaker 2It's even silly to think about .
Speaker 1Isn't it crazy ? We've never done it , never done it , never done it . And it's not for lack of trying . No , I'm kidding , I just won't go away Like a wart .
Speaker 2I just keep coming back Like a wart oh my gosh , Do people still get those ? It just used to be a thing Like there was always something on some advertisement on TV about warts Cam for eight or something .
Speaker 1Yes , like . But then they realized the FDA took that crap off because it's like it doesn't work . That's not how you treat warts , what you know .
Speaker 2Is that why ? That's what I'm thinking . Who knew they didn't want to get sued ? They didn't want to get sued . Anyway , no more snake oil . No more snake oil , just for you know , just for crypto and things like that .
You Can't Teach an Old Dog New Tricks
Speaker 2But Just for you know , just for crypto and things like that . But anyway , I didn't say that , so , les , what are we talking about today ?
Speaker 1So listen , you know that saying you can't teach an old dog new tricks . I do know that saying yes , it's not true , it's not true , it's really not true , it's not true . It's really not true , because one thing that I realized is that it's never too late to do new things . Not only that , it's not too late to live new dreams or to dream up new dreams . Let me give an example . I know this is going to sound really funny , but in my entire grown-ass life and it's been a long one .
Speaker 1I love driving convertible cars . I think they're cool . I think you know , for some reason , the vision of just like the TV , stall it . Maybe you know , with the scarf around the head and driving on a Pacific Coast highway and you know , life is so fun and frivolous in the sun . I'm a sun worshiper , so the sun and this . I always loved driving convertibles and it honestly never occurred to me that I could own a convertible .
Speaker 2Like you could choose to buy one versus renting one when you go on trips or whatever .
Speaker 1Whenever I would vacation Maui , california , florida I would always rent a convertible Okay .
Speaker 2I would always rent a convertible .
Speaker 1Okay , but it never once occurred that this is something that I could own . Isn't that crazy ? It's crazy . And then , like one I don't remember when , but it occurred to me like wait a minute , I don't have to rent these cars all the time . I could actually drive one all the time , and that's when I got my first convertible . But it was just weird when I think about it , because for decades it just never occurred to me . Why don't you buy yourself a convertible , right ?
Speaker 2Isn't that weird ? I think it's weird because it's not about whether you could afford one of those types of things at all .
Speaker 1No , it wasn't like that .
Speaker 2It was about . It's almost like did you not think you deserved it , or it just wasn't for you deep .
Speaker 1It was just that I just never thought that it was something that people , that I could own . It was only the it's the weirdest thing .
Speaker 2I only had the option to rent one . I could never have one permanently . I don't understand it just in retrospect .
Speaker 1None of that makes sense . None and when the light bulb came on that wait a minute , les , you could buy one . That's why I now have two .
Speaker 2You could actually have one .
Speaker 1You can vacation all the time and I could have it , and I could take the top down when I want and put the top up when I want .
Speaker 2Oh , I'll , I'll , I'll , um put up , put up , put up a picture or whatever , but it's like let me tell you guys a picture .
Speaker 1It's almost like the world opened up . I'm going to find the picture .
Speaker 2When we were in Florida and you bought the um , the , the outdoor furniture for the backyard .
Speaker 1Oh , and we to get it from you . See , you're just trying to turn this into something ugly . No , no , no , no , let's shame Leslie again .
Speaker 2This is not a shame . Why is that shameful ? Are you feeling ashamed ?
Speaker 1No .
Speaker 2No .
Speaker 1This isn't a shame . All right what she's saying is the reason . She See , that wasn't even germane to the conversation .
Speaker 2And you just brought something else in that wasn't .
Speaker 1That's not what I was , that's not the wind in my hair and with the bonnet and singing Good .
Speaker 2Day Sunshine . No , here is why that comes to mind for me .
Speaker 1Okay .
Speaker 2We would never have been able to get that stuff home without your convertible .
Speaker 1It's true , we wouldn't have been able to take it home , it's true . So what she's saying is one of my convertibles is down in Florida at my house and it's the only car that I have down there . So it's the fun car , the beach car , the workhorse car , the car that you should not put stuff into your nice leather seats . Instead , get a truck car . You know it's like I haul it , it's the workhorse , it's the workhorse yeah , but it's also the wreck horse .
Speaker 1So that's what she's talking about . We kind of furnished the house Transporna . You should see the pictures of the trees I put in the back when .
Speaker 2I was doing landscaping .
Speaker 1I haven't seen . It's been a while that we don't really think about things as being attainable until we attain them . And then it's like why didn't I do this years ago ? That's right , let me tell you a funny story and then I'll let you jump in .
Speaker 1But I'm sitting at a dinner a couple of months ago and and people were just talking about like old times and this and whatever , and one of the guys there said that you know , he grew up eating Pop-Tarts I'm a Pop-Tart girl Cinnamon and then the strawberry frosted I'm a Pop-Tart girl . So I'm like I'm leaning in and listening and we're all talking about yeah , and they were saying how , you know , they would grab the Pop-Tart and take it to school with them or whatever as breakfast or whatever you know , and it's like they're eating out the package and stuff like that . And then he went up to his friend's house one or two levels above him , and he said that the guy put the Pop-Tart in a toaster and that was the first time he had a heated-up Pop-Tart . He's like whoosh , he's like the world opened up to him . He's like what you could put this in a toaster .
Speaker 1It took it to such another level . He's like oh my God , it was toasted and we were cracking up laughing . But again , it was something that he didn't even and I guess , like the car , it's not like he couldn't afford a tote because he got the Pop-Tarts already . It just never occurred that that was a thing that was doable .
Speaker 2Right right that that could be a part of his life .
Speaker 1Yes , and that's just it . I looked at driving a convertible as a vacation pleasure only Wow , wow . And then when I realized how ridiculous that was and it's like get the doggone convertible .
Speaker 2Get the convertible and then . I bought my first convertible off of Craigslist Remember that , yeah , and the thing is that once you kind of allowed this in , like the idea in .
Speaker 1Then the floodgates opened , then Leslie was back . What else can I get ? Hey , another one For the other , one for down south , one for up here .
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah , and I love it .
Speaker 1I've never , looked back or regretted it .
Speaker 2I almost can't remember how you were without a convertible .
Speaker 1I know right , I was just with my little sunroof trying to get as much sun as I could . But I mean you enjoy them so much , they're so like you know , mean you enjoy you enjoy them so much , they're so oh like you know , yes , so so much isn't that crazy , and you deny yourself it is it is crazy .
Speaker 2Okay now , this was hard for me to think about um to come up with , because I'm kind of wired to think in possibilities . Yes yes , so it was hard , but there are definitely some things that I never , that never occurred to you that you could do or attain or have .
Speaker 1Never occurred to me Like what Never , never , never occurred to me .
Speaker 2Okay , I had to write some down . So this one I never , ever thought that I could dismiss a friendship .
Speaker 1Are
The Convertible Dream
Speaker 1you trying to tell me something ?
Speaker 2I never thought .
Speaker 1Is this the warning light ? Listen .
Speaker 2I got tenure . I have tenure in this friendship , so I'm not going to let that go . It's like I'm not giving up my passport . I'm not Exactly so , but here's what I mean .
Speaker 1So go ahead .
Speaker 2I'm saying it with all kind of . I never thought that I could establish boundaries for myself . And the way that I wanted to be in joy . I never thought I could make those things stick .
Speaker 1Wow .
Speaker 2I never thought that .
Speaker 1It's huge .
Speaker 2So say a little bit more about what you mean in terms of letting go of friendships mean is that I have had now two friendships that were so incongruent with the way that I want to live my life that I no longer long for them . I don't wish I had them , I don't . I'm not trying to reconcile . I don't mean that reconciliation could never happen . That's not what I mean at all . I just mean I never thought that I could do this and not always try to make things work .
Speaker 2I always thought that I would have to bend and tolerate and you know , okay , maybe I'll see them less often or those types of things . But it's shocking to me how involuntary it is now , like , in a way , I couldn't make myself . I couldn't make myself be the one who says , ok , let's agree to disagree , or whatever it is . I can't make myself do that anymore .
Speaker 1My boundaries are so clear . Wow , and you realized that you weren't getting what you wanted from the relationships or yeah , I just realized that .
Speaker 1You know , I talk about this here maybe not as often as I used to , but joy is a really central part of my life , and I don't mean happiness , I mean the things that are fulfilling , the things that are aligned with my values and things like that and in these two cases they're not aligned with my values and in a way like tolerating them is not an option for me anymore think that's a bold step and and and I applaud you for that because it's like I know you're a nurturer , I am you're also the type of person that bends over backwards to be in community with someone , so it's like for you to say you know , that's it .
Speaker 1You know , this is what I mean . I never thought I could , yeah , yeah , that's never thought I could do it and and the thing is it's not with anger , like I'm not at the point .
Speaker 2I was angry , Like I got there and that's kind of what made me start to see things . But I'm not talking about it right here with any , any , any sense of anger . It is really around boundaries . What am I going to let in ? What am I not going to let in ? And listen , I pray for them . You know I don't wish them any harm . There's not any iniquity or anything . It's just that's not for me anymore .
Speaker 2It's not for me anymore and try as I might , I couldn't make it for me anymore . I couldn't make it for me . So that's one of the things that I thought about , that I really never thought I could do . I always thought that I could , I would be the one to , because I have a forgiving kind of spirit . I always felt like , oh , I could forgive anyone and I can , but I don't have to have you in my life . You know what I mean .
Speaker 1That's the key . But I really think that's a hallmark of forgiveness . You know we don't have to say we will continue to allow you in our lives to do that thing over again , to hurt us again , or whatever Forgiveness is . I wish you well . I'm not wishing that it didn't happen and dwelling on things like that . Right , but I don't mind if you're over there yeah .
Speaker 2And they don't need to do anything .
Speaker 1There's nothing that they need to do . You're not looking for anything from them . I'm not looking for anything .
Speaker 2Exactly . It's just , yeah , I'm on my flow and it's like see you , bye , bye , bye , bye , wow , but you know what ?
Speaker 1I'll tell you , this one is kind of deep though , okay , but you stirred this up in me and made me think about it , because you're saying how it doesn't work for you anymore in your life or you're being about joy .
Speaker 2That's why I ended my marriage .
Speaker 1And that's why I'm now divorced . Wow , wait , hold on .
Speaker 2Like you didn't know about this , I know , but this is a whole nother level . Wait , this is a whole nother level .
Speaker 1Wait . Well , what you said is that ? Well , what I was thinking is that what I realized for myself is that I was tolerating an existence Wow , and it didn't occur to me that my life could be different . Wow , it didn't occur to me that my life could be different . Wow , it didn't occur to me .
Speaker 1You know , I , as most people I suppose I don't think I'm unique in this I took my marriage vows very seriously and I also took the for better or worse very seriously . Right , and you know , not am I I ? You know , as you know , I got with my husband when I was kind of young . I didn't know very much about , you know , marriage and unions and things like that . I just thought that people stayed married no matter what , and then , if this was the worst , then the better comes later , or if this is the better , or whatever . But what eventually happened in my marriage and my together for decades is that I realized that one I was never going to be personally fulfilled in my marriage . Never , and , believe it or not , I didn't think that that was a requirement of a union , partnership , of a marriage .
Speaker 2Did you never think , or were you willing to not have , that because of the bigger kind of principles ?
Speaker 1It was certainly the bigger principle of you know . It was certainly the bigger principle and I had years ago reconciled and put in my head that I will just live my life like this . You know it was a decision I made that in order to stay in this relationship , I had to put aside the desire for joy or the desire for that type of connection that I wanted .
Speaker 2And instead .
Speaker 1I just never knew that there would be anything else for me in terms of a spouse or relationship . But over the years , what eventually happened is that we started living separate lives because obviously well , not obviously , but he wasn't
Setting Boundaries in Friendships
Speaker 1apparently being fulfilled either , as neither was I , so we just started doing our own thing either , as neither was I , so we just started doing our own thing . You know , and you know , because I have the personality that I have , I have the circle of friends and family and whatever . I had way more outlets , but I honestly say it never occurred to me that I would leave my marriage and seek the joy and the contentment and the love that I wanted and felt . I needed .
Speaker 2It never even occurred to me .
Speaker 1Isn't that interesting . You know , some people think like I thought about divorce a long time ago . I didn't Right . Wow I wish I did actually . We probably would have saved each other some heartache and time , and all of that , but it just it may not it may never have occurred to him either , but I mean , who wouldn't want to be with me ?
Speaker 2I , this is what I'm thinking- it's like this is what I'm thinking .
Speaker 1It's like what the hell Crazy , that's crazy talk , but for me , I never thought that a fulfilling relationship would be part of my life and I just , I know , isn't that crazy ? And it was okay for a while because I had so much other things that completed me but , just not that . And then , through a series of events , it finally said like the Pop-Tarts ding wait a minute .
Speaker 2There's another way . Wow , there's another way , wow .
Speaker 1There's another way . And not only is that other way , is there another way ? But I could have that .
Speaker 2Oh , you know that world is not . I'm not excluded from that . Oh my gosh .
Speaker 1And that's when I started making a move that I deserve to have , that what I was looking for and yearning for and put aside was not crazy , was not unreasonable . It didn't make me any less of a Christian woman or of a godly wife . You know these were normal needs , and I wonder what is it about me that made me be okay for so long you know and settle for less you know , right , yeah , so isn't that interesting knowing how many times you basically said you know , this is my lot in life .
Speaker 2That's what I did . That's what I did .
Speaker 1I said you know , god brought him to me , and God brought us together , and this must be the way he wants me to live in my life ? I don't know , but this was my thinking .
Speaker 2You know , we think we have the ceremony .
Speaker 1God brings you together . Let no man put us asunder .
Speaker 2And so you said , like you don't know why , you but society , right , For wrongfully , I'm not judging this statement , but society puts that expectation on you , right , we live in the culture you know long-term marriages are highly , highly , highly , highly , highly , highly celebrated in our culture , right , when everybody , oh , you're married for 65 years .
Speaker 1Yeah , if you can be married for 65 years and you haven't committed murder , listen , give that person a medal .
Speaker 2But here's the thing you were up until this point , you were willing to be that person .
Speaker 1I wanted to be that person . You know and initially I thought it was a more a failing on my part . That when I decided that this , I can't do it anymore . That , you know . And what I realized and this is real , what helped me make that decision was that I saw the two of us and we were not our best selves and that was the same thing for him . You know , he was not his best self .
Speaker 1I've known him for you know , as I said many decades um , he was not his best self , and I was not and I knew that we were doing that to each other . You know creating that in each other , and I was not . And I knew that we were doing that to each other . You know creating that in each other , and that's not right .
Speaker 2You know that's not right yeah . Crazy right , but it never occurred to me that .
Speaker 1I could be happy in a relationship you know ?
Speaker 2Yeah , I wonder why it occurred to me .
Speaker 1I wonder why it occurred to me Ding . I wonder why it occurred to me .
Speaker 2Yes , oh my gosh , yes , I've been divorced twice and around you know being staying together no matter what , being saying together no matter what , and I think some people think , even if there is different types of abuse physical , mental , emotional , financial abuse people still think that you should stay with that person spiritual protection from abusive marriages and things like that . Yeah , yeah , wow , liz , I don't know .
Speaker 1Anything else that you can think of that you , I think I have one more that , like it never occurred to me that this was a possibility , shall I say I'm afraid I don't know what you're going to say no , no , no , don't be afraid , it's not scary . Okay ,
Marriage & Finding Personal Fulfillment
Speaker 1it's not scary . Last fall I took three months off from work .
Speaker 2Oh yes .
Speaker 1It never occurred to me that that was something that I could do .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1You know , I was dealing with things at home and the stress of whatever . Remember , I know we did a podcast . I overslept a couple of times . I was tired , I wasn't taking care of myself very well . And I decided that I need to . I wasn't bringing my best self to work and my patients . So I took time off from work and I guess in my 20 plus years as a physician I never knew that's something , that one could do unless you're sick , like people would say .
Speaker 1are you not well ? Is something going on ? Or is this FMLA family leave ? Are you taking care of a family ? I said no , I'm just tired .
Speaker 2Just tired .
Speaker 1And it's like what ? First of all , I never thought that I could live for three months without a salary . I never thought that the job would do okay without me , because I didn't want to leave my colleagues in the lurch . Yeah , you couldn't be selfish like that . They did fine . They did just fine and it was a time for me to just step back , reflect on some things , chill , sleep late and whatever . But again , and who like people , take sabbaticals in order to take care of some projects and stuff ? I don't call mine a sabbatical because I wanted to watch minute can I ?
Speaker 1take . And it's so funny because the job was like fill out this online thing and press the button In one minute . It was like approved done . Wendy and my manager kept asking when do you think you're going to come back ? I'm not sure , maybe January and this and that , and it's like , okay , what ? That's crazy .
Speaker 2The job didn't fall apart .
Speaker 1It stayed . Patients did well without me . People welcomed me back . When I came back , it was like what ?
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1So here's the thing I'm telling you it is possible to take the time , your personal time , if you need it . Why ? Because everybody else does . And nobody , nobody , nobody . Is indispensable , right we think oh , it's a family . I got to be there . You know what ? Yeah .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1If I had stayed out a little bit longer , they would have forgotten my name . I'm sure I came back so that they could pronounce Ose Tutu properly . That's why I came back no-transcript and I just kept thinking Stephanie Perry in my head like you want to be , this is your lazy time . You want ?
Speaker 2to live a life of ease and it's like ease what ease , what ?
Speaker 1We think that that's foreign and that's for other people .
Speaker 1It's like the convertible that's for somebody else . You know that's not something for me . You know and it's like or like Dr Kimani says you know it's . You can leave a job that's not working for you . You can leave a job that's hurting you , but we don't think of it like that . And I say what I've been saying now the last couple of months when I speak to folks is that the only limitation on the things that you can do is coming from here year we first have to . I had that conversation today with another physician I was working with , because she was wondering when she can retire and should I retire ?
Speaker 1and whatever I said , listen . The first thing you have to do is put it in your head that it's a possibility . We often arrest our own progress .
Speaker 2Yeah , because we never think that it's possible .
Speaker 1I'm telling you go get that convertible .
Speaker 2Get it .
Speaker 1You better go get it . Get it , put that top down and let your hair go .
Speaker 2Get that Pop-Tart into the toaster . Yes .
Speaker 1Do it . Yes , do it . It's for you A warm Pop-Tart is your right Exactly , and leave that man if he's fucking with you . No , you know , I'm glad that we can make light of things like that , but the concept is really true . Yeah , it is true . Yeah , it is true .
Speaker 2It is true , wow , so this is who we are folks . This is who we are . We push against and you know this isn't as you said . She's been in this situation in her marriage for a long time . So it's not one day you wake up and it's like boop . It wasn't one day I woke up and it was like , oh , I am not going to really deal with toxic friendships anymore , I'm not going to .
Speaker 1You know , it's a series of just constantly evaluating your life and what makes it better , what doesn't make it better , and are you moving toward the way that you want to live in your life to look like , right toward the way that you want to live and your life to look like and project to yourself in five years from now ? Would I be happy where
Taking Time Off: A Personal Sabbatical
Speaker 1I am today and if not , that's the day to make the changes . It was just the same thing when I , you know , starting medical school at age 36 . You know , I said that if I continued teaching , how would I feel in five years from now ? And I just said , you know , I need to see what else I can do , if I can move toward my dream of being in medicine and becoming a physician , and thank God I did .
Speaker 1But that's where it starts . It has to start in your mind first .
Speaker 2Yeah , and I'm just going to make one adjustment I'm going to swap out the word happy for the word joyful . Right , and I really , really make this point , because happiness is kind of it's a transient , it's like a . It can be a moment in in time and it's oftentimes not , um , within your control . Joyful is just another level .
Speaker 1It is like goes from here to up here .
Speaker 2It's a divine it's a divine right yeah it's a divine right to be enjoyed , to find satisfaction , to feel , um , you know that you are living the life that you are meant to live , and that's a whole different level than happy .
Speaker 1Yeah , you know what I mean . This sounds like a whole episode , a podcast episode , coming up you know , yeah , it's coming up , yeah . Are you living in happiness or are you living in joy ?
Speaker 2You know ?
Speaker 1Oh , we got the title , all right , I would say that I'm living in joy right now . How's it feel ? And it's going to be even more different . Yeah , oh , it feels wonderful , it does .
Speaker 2I'm proud of myself . You should be . You should be . Oh my gosh , I , you know , I think the world of you , you know , I think that I mean it was really difficult . It was really , it's still , it was really difficult .
Speaker 1It's still difficult .
Speaker 2Yeah , I mean nobody wants to , and so I think that it's hard to see someone you love go through that , and it's also knowing that when you go through difficulty , if you go through it in the right way , like in a posture of what am I supposed to be learning from this to take into my next thing .
Speaker 1And I know that .
Speaker 2That's how you have been . It's one of the key things that has helped you to make it through without coming through like battered and bruised , and you know just kind of like barely making it out the door .
Speaker 1And there have been times that I did barely make it out the door . You know what I mean and perhaps you know those are the things that led me to take the time off from work . You know the times when I couldn't get out the bed , or this or that you know , yeah , wow , yeah Wow . Yeah .
Speaker 2You're something else Will you be my bestie .
Speaker 1Oh , I think so . Yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , thank you , let's thinky , thinky , thinky . Yes , yes , yes , there you go . So I want you all , now that you all are subscribers and you're getting notifications think about some of the things that would not only bring you joy in your life . But what kind of bars are you putting ? Pull down the shade . What are you restricting yourself ? You restricting yourself , not others , because you can think about that and come up with strategies to work on other people , but for yourself . That's where it has to start .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1Because when I decided , for example , to go to medical school as a single parent as a this , as a that , as a this when people were telling me this is impossible , what are you talking about ?
Speaker 2You got a kid and this and that You're a .
Speaker 1Fijian kid and doing all of this , but I first decided that this was something that I was going to attempt to do .
Speaker 2And then the rest is history .
Speaker 1Thank you , Jesus .
Speaker 2Yes , yeah , yeah , Because man again . Leslie you're a keeper . Okay , okay , good You'll never be rid of me . You will never be rid of me . I have tenure . You will never be rid of me , yes , and I'm so proud of you .
Speaker 1I love you so much Thank you . And this has been another episode of Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn , brooklyn .