Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn
Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn
“I could never do that!” The bold-face lies we stopped telling ourselves
Leslie and Angella dismantle the myth that "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" by sharing powerful personal revelations about self-imposed limitations they've overcome in their decades-long friendship.
• Leslie shares how she loved convertible cars for years but never thought she could own one until a lightbulb moment changed everything
• The hosts discuss how we restrict ourselves from joy by assuming certain things aren't "for us"
• Angella reveals her journey to setting boundaries in friendships that don't align with her values
• Leslie opens up about her recent divorce and realized she was deserving of personal fulfillment in her marriage
• The liberation of taking time off work without apology and discovering nobody is indispensable
• The difference between fleeting happiness and deeper, more meaningful joy
• The most significant limitations on what we can do often come from our own minds
What are you restricting yourself from experiencing? What would bring joy to your life that you've convinced yourself isn't for you?
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Hey Ange.
Speaker 2:Hey Les, How's it going?
Speaker 1:It's going well. The reason I hesitated I'm a little tired.
Speaker 2:Yeah so.
Speaker 1:I had to get some caffeine nearby.
Speaker 2:Oh see, yeah, Vitamin. Yes, I've had a C yeah 20s Busy couple days.
Speaker 1:past couple days traveling and doing stuff, so it's like I'm burning a candle at both ends, and that doesn't go over well for old people.
Speaker 2:No, we need our rest like we need our soft shoes Because we will get knocked out. Yeah, did you say soft shoes? Yeah, we need rest and soft. Need our soft shoes.
Speaker 1:Because we will get knocked out. Yeah, did you say soft shoes? Yeah, we need rest and soft shoes, you know?
Speaker 2:Okay, all right, that sounds like an 80-year-old told you that.
Speaker 1:Listen, listen.
Speaker 2:I don't need soft shoes.
Speaker 1:I wear them, but I don't need them. You wear stilettos? Oh, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:When's the last time I saw you in a pair of six inches?
Speaker 1:It's just, I choose not to. That's all there you go. That's all there you go.
Speaker 2:But my lighting just went dark.
Speaker 1:As usual, I can fix that.
Speaker 2:I don't know why that happens.
Speaker 1:I think it needs movement or something it says. She's so bright I'm going to dim a little bit, so it's not to show her up.
Speaker 2:Is it better? I'm going to dim a little bit so as not to show her up, is it better? No, it's the same. Is it better, but it's okay? Oh, my goodness, is it okay, though. Is it really?
Speaker 1:So welcome to another episode of Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn.
Speaker 2:Hey folks, I'm Angella, and you know who that is.
Speaker 1:I'm Leslie.
Speaker 2:That's my bestie, leslie. We have been best friends for almost 50 years and you know, this is the thing we are two free-thinking older Black women and we just like having candid conversations about life. We tend to go deep on things, and so and and we have been through a series, a series of series of, of, of changes in our perspectives over the years, and so, as things come up, we bring them here, we talk about them, we agree, we disagree, we fight, we make up, we um we've never fought, Never, ever.
Speaker 1:Isn't that crazy? That's really crazy. We've never had a period where it's like I'm not speaking to that bitch. I'm not talking to her.
Speaker 2:Not one time. It's Angie on the phone. Don't answer.
Speaker 1:Don't answer. I'm not home. We never do that.
Speaker 2:It's even silly to think about.
Speaker 1:Isn't it crazy? We've never done it, never done it, never done it. And it's not for lack of trying. No, I'm kidding, I just won't go away Like a wart.
Speaker 2:I just keep coming back Like a wart oh my gosh, Do people still get those? It just used to be a thing Like there was always something on some advertisement on TV about warts Cam for eight or something.
Speaker 1:Yes, like. But then they realized the FDA took that crap off because it's like it doesn't work. That's not how you treat warts, what you know.
Speaker 2:Is that why? That's what I'm thinking. Who knew they didn't want to get sued? They didn't want to get sued. Anyway, no more snake oil. No more snake oil, just for you know, just for crypto and things like that. But Just for you know, just for crypto and things like that. But anyway, I didn't say that, so, les, what are we talking about today?
Speaker 1:So listen, you know that saying you can't teach an old dog new tricks. I do know that saying yes, it's not true, it's not true, it's really not true, it's not true. It's really not true, because one thing that I realized is that it's never too late to do new things. Not only that, it's not too late to live new dreams or to dream up new dreams. Let me give an example. I know this is going to sound really funny, but in my entire grown-ass life and it's been a long one.
Speaker 1:I love driving convertible cars. I think they're cool. I think you know, for some reason, the vision of just like the TV, stall it. Maybe you know, with the scarf around the head and driving on a Pacific Coast highway and you know, life is so fun and frivolous in the sun. I'm a sun worshiper, so the sun and this. I always loved driving convertibles and it honestly never occurred to me that I could own a convertible.
Speaker 2:Like you could choose to buy one versus renting one when you go on trips or whatever.
Speaker 1:Whenever I would vacation Maui, california, florida I would always rent a convertible Okay.
Speaker 2:I would always rent a convertible.
Speaker 1:Okay, but it never once occurred that this is something that I could own. Isn't that crazy? It's crazy. And then, like one I don't remember when, but it occurred to me like wait a minute, I don't have to rent these cars all the time. I could actually drive one all the time, and that's when I got my first convertible. But it was just weird when I think about it, because for decades it just never occurred to me. Why don't you buy yourself a convertible, right?
Speaker 2:Isn't that weird? I think it's weird because it's not about whether you could afford one of those types of things at all.
Speaker 1:No, it wasn't like that.
Speaker 2:It was about. It's almost like did you not think you deserved it, or it just wasn't for you deep.
Speaker 1:It was just that I just never thought that it was something that people, that I could own. It was only the it's the weirdest thing.
Speaker 2:I only had the option to rent one. I could never have one permanently. I don't understand it just in retrospect.
Speaker 1:None of that makes sense. None and when the light bulb came on that wait a minute, les, you could buy one. That's why I now have two.
Speaker 2:You could actually have one.
Speaker 1:You can vacation all the time and I could have it, and I could take the top down when I want and put the top up when I want.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'll, I'll, I'll, um put up, put up, put up a picture or whatever, but it's like let me tell you guys a picture.
Speaker 1:It's almost like the world opened up. I'm going to find the picture.
Speaker 2:When we were in Florida and you bought the um, the, the outdoor furniture for the backyard.
Speaker 1:Oh, and we to get it from you. See, you're just trying to turn this into something ugly. No, no, no, no, let's shame Leslie again.
Speaker 2:This is not a shame. Why is that shameful? Are you feeling ashamed?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:This isn't a shame. All right what she's saying is the reason. She See, that wasn't even germane to the conversation.
Speaker 2:And you just brought something else in that wasn't.
Speaker 1:That's not what I was, that's not the wind in my hair and with the bonnet and singing Good.
Speaker 2:Day Sunshine. No, here is why that comes to mind for me.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:We would never have been able to get that stuff home without your convertible.
Speaker 1:It's true, we wouldn't have been able to take it home, it's true. So what she's saying is one of my convertibles is down in Florida at my house and it's the only car that I have down there. So it's the fun car, the beach car, the workhorse car, the car that you should not put stuff into your nice leather seats. Instead, get a truck car. You know it's like I haul it, it's the workhorse, it's the workhorse yeah, but it's also the wreck horse.
Speaker 1:So that's what she's talking about. We kind of furnished the house Transporna. You should see the pictures of the trees I put in the back when.
Speaker 2:I was doing landscaping.
Speaker 1:I haven't seen. It's been a while that we don't really think about things as being attainable until we attain them. And then it's like why didn't I do this years ago? That's right, let me tell you a funny story and then I'll let you jump in.
Speaker 1:But I'm sitting at a dinner a couple of months ago and and people were just talking about like old times and this and whatever, and one of the guys there said that you know, he grew up eating Pop-Tarts I'm a Pop-Tart girl Cinnamon and then the strawberry frosted I'm a Pop-Tart girl. So I'm like I'm leaning in and listening and we're all talking about yeah, and they were saying how, you know, they would grab the Pop-Tart and take it to school with them or whatever as breakfast or whatever you know, and it's like they're eating out the package and stuff like that. And then he went up to his friend's house one or two levels above him, and he said that the guy put the Pop-Tart in a toaster and that was the first time he had a heated-up Pop-Tart. He's like whoosh, he's like the world opened up to him. He's like what you could put this in a toaster.
Speaker 1:It took it to such another level. He's like oh my God, it was toasted and we were cracking up laughing. But again, it was something that he didn't even and I guess, like the car, it's not like he couldn't afford a tote because he got the Pop-Tarts already. It just never occurred that that was a thing that was doable.
Speaker 2:Right right that that could be a part of his life.
Speaker 1:Yes, and that's just it. I looked at driving a convertible as a vacation pleasure only Wow, wow. And then when I realized how ridiculous that was and it's like get the doggone convertible.
Speaker 2:Get the convertible and then. I bought my first convertible off of Craigslist Remember that, yeah, and the thing is that once you kind of allowed this in, like the idea in.
Speaker 1:Then the floodgates opened, then Leslie was back. What else can I get? Hey, another one For the other, one for down south, one for up here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and I love it.
Speaker 1:I've never, looked back or regretted it.
Speaker 2:I almost can't remember how you were without a convertible.
Speaker 1:I know right, I was just with my little sunroof trying to get as much sun as I could. But I mean you enjoy them so much, they're so like you know, mean you enjoy you enjoy them so much, they're so oh like you know, yes, so so much isn't that crazy, and you deny yourself it is it is crazy.
Speaker 2:Okay now, this was hard for me to think about um to come up with, because I'm kind of wired to think in possibilities. Yes yes, so it was hard, but there are definitely some things that I never, that never occurred to you that you could do or attain or have.
Speaker 1:Never occurred to me Like what Never, never, never occurred to me.
Speaker 2:Okay, I had to write some down. So this one I never, ever thought that I could dismiss a friendship.
Speaker 1:Are you trying to tell me something?
Speaker 2:I never thought.
Speaker 1:Is this the warning light? Listen.
Speaker 2:I got tenure. I have tenure in this friendship, so I'm not going to let that go. It's like I'm not giving up my passport. I'm not Exactly so, but here's what I mean.
Speaker 1:So go ahead.
Speaker 2:I'm saying it with all kind of. I never thought that I could establish boundaries for myself. And the way that I wanted to be in joy. I never thought I could make those things stick.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:I never thought that.
Speaker 1:It's huge.
Speaker 2:So say a little bit more about what you mean in terms of letting go of friendships mean is that I have had now two friendships that were so incongruent with the way that I want to live my life that I no longer long for them. I don't wish I had them, I don't. I'm not trying to reconcile. I don't mean that reconciliation could never happen. That's not what I mean at all. I just mean I never thought that I could do this and not always try to make things work.
Speaker 2:I always thought that I would have to bend and tolerate and you know, okay, maybe I'll see them less often or those types of things. But it's shocking to me how involuntary it is now, like, in a way, I couldn't make myself. I couldn't make myself be the one who says, ok, let's agree to disagree, or whatever it is. I can't make myself do that anymore.
Speaker 1:My boundaries are so clear. Wow, and you realized that you weren't getting what you wanted from the relationships or yeah, I just realized that.
Speaker 1:You know, I talk about this here maybe not as often as I used to, but joy is a really central part of my life, and I don't mean happiness, I mean the things that are fulfilling, the things that are aligned with my values and things like that and in these two cases they're not aligned with my values and in a way like tolerating them is not an option for me anymore think that's a bold step and and and I applaud you for that because it's like I know you're a nurturer, I am you're also the type of person that bends over backwards to be in community with someone, so it's like for you to say you know, that's it.
Speaker 1:You know, this is what I mean. I never thought I could, yeah, yeah, that's never thought I could do it and and the thing is it's not with anger, like I'm not at the point.
Speaker 2:I was angry, Like I got there and that's kind of what made me start to see things. But I'm not talking about it right here with any, any, any sense of anger. It is really around boundaries. What am I going to let in? What am I not going to let in? And listen, I pray for them. You know I don't wish them any harm. There's not any iniquity or anything. It's just that's not for me anymore.
Speaker 2:It's not for me anymore and try as I might, I couldn't make it for me anymore. I couldn't make it for me. So that's one of the things that I thought about, that I really never thought I could do. I always thought that I could, I would be the one to, because I have a forgiving kind of spirit. I always felt like, oh, I could forgive anyone and I can, but I don't have to have you in my life. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:That's the key. But I really think that's a hallmark of forgiveness. You know we don't have to say we will continue to allow you in our lives to do that thing over again, to hurt us again, or whatever Forgiveness is. I wish you well. I'm not wishing that it didn't happen and dwelling on things like that. Right, but I don't mind if you're over there yeah.
Speaker 2:And they don't need to do anything.
Speaker 1:There's nothing that they need to do. You're not looking for anything from them. I'm not looking for anything.
Speaker 2:Exactly. It's just, yeah, I'm on my flow and it's like see you, bye, bye, bye, bye, wow, but you know what?
Speaker 1:I'll tell you, this one is kind of deep though, okay, but you stirred this up in me and made me think about it, because you're saying how it doesn't work for you anymore in your life or you're being about joy.
Speaker 2:That's why I ended my marriage.
Speaker 1:And that's why I'm now divorced. Wow, wait, hold on.
Speaker 2:Like you didn't know about this, I know, but this is a whole nother level. Wait, this is a whole nother level.
Speaker 1:Wait. Well, what you said is that? Well, what I was thinking is that what I realized for myself is that I was tolerating an existence Wow, and it didn't occur to me that my life could be different. Wow, it didn't occur to me that my life could be different. Wow, it didn't occur to me.
Speaker 1:You know, I, as most people I suppose I don't think I'm unique in this I took my marriage vows very seriously and I also took the for better or worse very seriously. Right, and you know, not am I I? You know, as you know, I got with my husband when I was kind of young. I didn't know very much about, you know, marriage and unions and things like that. I just thought that people stayed married no matter what, and then, if this was the worst, then the better comes later, or if this is the better, or whatever. But what eventually happened in my marriage and my together for decades is that I realized that one I was never going to be personally fulfilled in my marriage. Never, and, believe it or not, I didn't think that that was a requirement of a union, partnership, of a marriage.
Speaker 2:Did you never think, or were you willing to not have, that because of the bigger kind of principles?
Speaker 1:It was certainly the bigger principle of you know. It was certainly the bigger principle and I had years ago reconciled and put in my head that I will just live my life like this. You know it was a decision I made that in order to stay in this relationship, I had to put aside the desire for joy or the desire for that type of connection that I wanted.
Speaker 2:And instead.
Speaker 1:I just never knew that there would be anything else for me in terms of a spouse or relationship. But over the years, what eventually happened is that we started living separate lives because obviously well, not obviously, but he wasn't apparently being fulfilled either, as neither was I, so we just started doing our own thing either, as neither was I, so we just started doing our own thing. You know, and you know, because I have the personality that I have, I have the circle of friends and family and whatever. I had way more outlets, but I honestly say it never occurred to me that I would leave my marriage and seek the joy and the contentment and the love that I wanted and felt. I needed.
Speaker 2:It never even occurred to me.
Speaker 1:Isn't that interesting. You know, some people think like I thought about divorce a long time ago. I didn't Right. Wow I wish I did actually. We probably would have saved each other some heartache and time, and all of that, but it just it may not it may never have occurred to him either, but I mean, who wouldn't want to be with me?
Speaker 2:I, this is what I'm thinking- it's like this is what I'm thinking.
Speaker 1:It's like what the hell Crazy, that's crazy talk, but for me, I never thought that a fulfilling relationship would be part of my life and I just, I know, isn't that crazy? And it was okay for a while because I had so much other things that completed me but, just not that. And then, through a series of events, it finally said like the Pop-Tarts ding wait a minute.
Speaker 2:There's another way. Wow, there's another way, wow.
Speaker 1:There's another way. And not only is that other way, is there another way? But I could have that.
Speaker 2:Oh, you know that world is not. I'm not excluded from that. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:And that's when I started making a move that I deserve to have, that what I was looking for and yearning for and put aside was not crazy, was not unreasonable. It didn't make me any less of a Christian woman or of a godly wife. You know these were normal needs, and I wonder what is it about me that made me be okay for so long you know and settle for less you know, right, yeah, so isn't that interesting knowing how many times you basically said you know, this is my lot in life.
Speaker 2:That's what I did. That's what I did.
Speaker 1:I said you know, god brought him to me, and God brought us together, and this must be the way he wants me to live in my life? I don't know, but this was my thinking.
Speaker 2:You know, we think we have the ceremony.
Speaker 1:God brings you together. Let no man put us asunder.
Speaker 2:And so you said, like you don't know why, you but society, right, For wrongfully, I'm not judging this statement, but society puts that expectation on you, right, we live in the culture you know long-term marriages are highly, highly, highly, highly, highly, highly celebrated in our culture, right, when everybody, oh, you're married for 65 years.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if you can be married for 65 years and you haven't committed murder, listen, give that person a medal.
Speaker 2:But here's the thing you were up until this point, you were willing to be that person.
Speaker 1:I wanted to be that person. You know and initially I thought it was a more a failing on my part. That when I decided that this, I can't do it anymore. That, you know. And what I realized and this is real, what helped me make that decision was that I saw the two of us and we were not our best selves and that was the same thing for him. You know, he was not his best self.
Speaker 1:I've known him for you know, as I said many decades um, he was not his best self, and I was not and I knew that we were doing that to each other. You know creating that in each other, and I was not. And I knew that we were doing that to each other. You know creating that in each other, and that's not right.
Speaker 2:You know that's not right yeah. Crazy right, but it never occurred to me that.
Speaker 1:I could be happy in a relationship you know?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I wonder why it occurred to me.
Speaker 1:I wonder why it occurred to me Ding. I wonder why it occurred to me.
Speaker 2:Yes, oh my gosh, yes, I've been divorced twice and around you know being staying together no matter what, being saying together no matter what, and I think some people think, even if there is different types of abuse physical, mental, emotional, financial abuse people still think that you should stay with that person spiritual protection from abusive marriages and things like that. Yeah, yeah, wow, liz, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Anything else that you can think of that you, I think I have one more that, like it never occurred to me that this was a possibility, shall I say I'm afraid I don't know what you're going to say no, no, no, don't be afraid, it's not scary. Okay, it's not scary. Last fall I took three months off from work.
Speaker 2:Oh yes.
Speaker 1:It never occurred to me that that was something that I could do.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, I was dealing with things at home and the stress of whatever. Remember, I know we did a podcast. I overslept a couple of times. I was tired, I wasn't taking care of myself very well. And I decided that I need to. I wasn't bringing my best self to work and my patients. So I took time off from work and I guess in my 20 plus years as a physician I never knew that's something, that one could do unless you're sick, like people would say.
Speaker 1:are you not well? Is something going on? Or is this FMLA family leave? Are you taking care of a family? I said no, I'm just tired.
Speaker 2:Just tired.
Speaker 1:And it's like what? First of all, I never thought that I could live for three months without a salary. I never thought that the job would do okay without me, because I didn't want to leave my colleagues in the lurch. Yeah, you couldn't be selfish like that. They did fine. They did just fine and it was a time for me to just step back, reflect on some things, chill, sleep late and whatever. But again, and who like people, take sabbaticals in order to take care of some projects and stuff? I don't call mine a sabbatical because I wanted to watch minute can I?
Speaker 1:take. And it's so funny because the job was like fill out this online thing and press the button In one minute. It was like approved done. Wendy and my manager kept asking when do you think you're going to come back? I'm not sure, maybe January and this and that, and it's like, okay, what? That's crazy.
Speaker 2:The job didn't fall apart.
Speaker 1:It stayed. Patients did well without me. People welcomed me back. When I came back, it was like what?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So here's the thing I'm telling you it is possible to take the time, your personal time, if you need it. Why? Because everybody else does. And nobody, nobody, nobody. Is indispensable, right we think oh, it's a family. I got to be there. You know what? Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:If I had stayed out a little bit longer, they would have forgotten my name. I'm sure I came back so that they could pronounce Ose Tutu properly. That's why I came back no-transcript and I just kept thinking Stephanie Perry in my head like you want to be, this is your lazy time. You want?
Speaker 2:to live a life of ease and it's like ease what ease, what?
Speaker 1:We think that that's foreign and that's for other people.
Speaker 1:It's like the convertible that's for somebody else. You know that's not something for me. You know and it's like or like Dr Kimani says you know it's. You can leave a job that's not working for you. You can leave a job that's hurting you, but we don't think of it like that. And I say what I've been saying now the last couple of months when I speak to folks is that the only limitation on the things that you can do is coming from here year we first have to. I had that conversation today with another physician I was working with, because she was wondering when she can retire and should I retire?
Speaker 1:and whatever I said, listen. The first thing you have to do is put it in your head that it's a possibility. We often arrest our own progress.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because we never think that it's possible.
Speaker 1:I'm telling you go get that convertible.
Speaker 2:Get it.
Speaker 1:You better go get it. Get it, put that top down and let your hair go.
Speaker 2:Get that Pop-Tart into the toaster. Yes.
Speaker 1:Do it. Yes, do it. It's for you A warm Pop-Tart is your right Exactly, and leave that man if he's fucking with you. No, you know, I'm glad that we can make light of things like that, but the concept is really true. Yeah, it is true. Yeah, it is true.
Speaker 2:It is true, wow, so this is who we are folks. This is who we are. We push against and you know this isn't as you said. She's been in this situation in her marriage for a long time. So it's not one day you wake up and it's like boop. It wasn't one day I woke up and it was like, oh, I am not going to really deal with toxic friendships anymore, I'm not going to.
Speaker 1:You know, it's a series of just constantly evaluating your life and what makes it better, what doesn't make it better, and are you moving toward the way that you want to live in your life to look like, right toward the way that you want to live and your life to look like and project to yourself in five years from now? Would I be happy where I am today and if not, that's the day to make the changes. It was just the same thing when I, you know, starting medical school at age 36. You know, I said that if I continued teaching, how would I feel in five years from now? And I just said, you know, I need to see what else I can do, if I can move toward my dream of being in medicine and becoming a physician, and thank God I did.
Speaker 1:But that's where it starts. It has to start in your mind first.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I'm just going to make one adjustment I'm going to swap out the word happy for the word joyful. Right, and I really, really make this point, because happiness is kind of it's a transient, it's like a. It can be a moment in in time and it's oftentimes not, um, within your control. Joyful is just another level.
Speaker 1:It is like goes from here to up here.
Speaker 2:It's a divine it's a divine right yeah it's a divine right to be enjoyed, to find satisfaction, to feel, um, you know that you are living the life that you are meant to live, and that's a whole different level than happy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know what I mean. This sounds like a whole episode, a podcast episode, coming up you know, yeah, it's coming up, yeah. Are you living in happiness or are you living in joy?
Speaker 2:You know?
Speaker 1:Oh, we got the title, all right, I would say that I'm living in joy right now. How's it feel? And it's going to be even more different. Yeah, oh, it feels wonderful, it does.
Speaker 2:I'm proud of myself. You should be. You should be. Oh my gosh, I, you know, I think the world of you, you know, I think that I mean it was really difficult. It was really, it's still, it was really difficult.
Speaker 1:It's still difficult.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean nobody wants to, and so I think that it's hard to see someone you love go through that, and it's also knowing that when you go through difficulty, if you go through it in the right way, like in a posture of what am I supposed to be learning from this to take into my next thing.
Speaker 1:And I know that.
Speaker 2:That's how you have been. It's one of the key things that has helped you to make it through without coming through like battered and bruised, and you know just kind of like barely making it out the door.
Speaker 1:And there have been times that I did barely make it out the door. You know what I mean and perhaps you know those are the things that led me to take the time off from work. You know the times when I couldn't get out the bed, or this or that you know, yeah, wow, yeah Wow. Yeah.
Speaker 2:You're something else Will you be my bestie.
Speaker 1:Oh, I think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, thank you, let's thinky, thinky, thinky. Yes, yes, yes, there you go. So I want you all, now that you all are subscribers and you're getting notifications think about some of the things that would not only bring you joy in your life. But what kind of bars are you putting? Pull down the shade. What are you restricting yourself? You restricting yourself, not others, because you can think about that and come up with strategies to work on other people, but for yourself. That's where it has to start.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because when I decided, for example, to go to medical school as a single parent as a this, as a that, as a this when people were telling me this is impossible, what are you talking about?
Speaker 2:You got a kid and this and that You're a.
Speaker 1:Fijian kid and doing all of this, but I first decided that this was something that I was going to attempt to do.
Speaker 2:And then the rest is history.
Speaker 1:Thank you, Jesus.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, yeah, Because man again. Leslie you're a keeper. Okay, okay, good You'll never be rid of me. You will never be rid of me. I have tenure. You will never be rid of me, yes, and I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 1:I love you so much Thank you. And this has been another episode of Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn, brooklyn.
