Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn
Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn
Trust your gifts: When a bold decision saved a life
Being a physician is Leslie’s calling; a gifting.
In this episode, she recounts a whirlwind weekend trip where she visited a recovering friend, and was reminded of a time years ago when she saved a friend’s life through medical intervention and advocacy.
Angella and Leslie emphasize the importance of knowing your gifts and using them to help others.
The conversation highlights the critical need for medical self-advocacy, especially for Black patients
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Hey Ange, Hello Leslie, how are you doing?
Speaker 2:I'm good, I'm tired but I'm good.
Speaker 1:You have every right to be tired.
Speaker 2:You always say that you have every I need to buy an alarm clock. If you guys don't know the reference to alarm clock, you should. We will put a link somewhere. I need an alarm clock. But anyway, inside joke for those of you who are not subscribers, Welcome to another episode of Black Boomer. Besties from Brooklyn.
Speaker 1:I'm Angela and that's Lesley, my best friend of almost almost 50 years. We're going to be saying 50 years soon. I think we're at 48 now, something like that I think. So go deep into conversations. We'd like to share them with you because at this point we are very clear that we bring a lot of insight, we bring a lot of laughter. We bring deep thinking to topics that typically stay on the surface, so we're going to get into it today. I've had a whirlwind weekend. She has Leslie, leslie.
Speaker 2:Just thinking about it makes you tired.
Speaker 1:Yeah, leslie is. Leslie has done some remarkable things, crazy things, in in her life and it's when you reflect on them that it's like wow you really, you really did that. Yeah, you really did that so we're going to be talking about some of what she's been up to, and then, um, that reminded us of something huge that happened a few years ago that you know. Her list is so it, it, it gets so full of my shenanigans on the bottom you forget what's on the bottom.
Speaker 1:These are not shenanigans, these are big time shit. So you'll hear.
Speaker 2:Anyway, go ahead, leslie, tell the people so I was minding my own business, just walking around minding my own business.
Speaker 1:Own business.
Speaker 2:Well, I went down to Florida after work on Friday to surprise my mom because it's her birthday.
Speaker 1:Happy birthday mom.
Speaker 2:So she's down in Florida with my sister and I have a house down there as you all know. So I went to check on the house, surprised my mom and we took her out to dinner on Saturday. So it was really nice, was really important for me to visit a really close friend of mine who just went through major surgery and she's a very important part of my life, and I said that I couldn't go down to Florida, even though I spoken to her over the telephone. I really needed to eyeball it and see for myself that she was going to be okay and just to give her a quick hug.
Speaker 2:So I drove on Sunday from my home on the east coast of central Florida to her home in Tampa. It took about a two and a half hour drive. Home in Tampa it took about two and a half hour drive and then my plan was to leave out of Tampa and fly home because I had to work today. So I went and I checked on her and progress is coming along but she's not really out of the woods yet. But I'm glad to have seen her and prayed for her and caught my flight. I got home a little after midnight last night.
Speaker 1:That's today.
Speaker 2:Well, today, yeah. So, as I'm telling Ange the story, I say you know what this reminds me of, that time that I went and literally saved my girlfriend I'll call her Leigh Saved Leigh's life. And Ange is like what did you say? You're like what are you talking about? What?
Speaker 1:are you talking about? I know you when did this happen? But again, because there's so many things. Because the first thing that I reminded you of is when you witnessed a dog being hit by a car. Oh, and what did you do?
Speaker 2:Well, I didn't mind my own business that time.
Speaker 1:It was a poo. She got hit by a car. Yeah, Leslie's a dog lover.
Speaker 2:Yes, I certainly am, and it was two doors away from two homes away from mine. So when I, you know, saw what was going on, this was a oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:So I Hold. Hold a moment Now that you know what we're going to be talking about just stay just like that. We want to remind you to please like and subscribe. This is how we do it. We have candid conversations. They will just really edify and give you joy. Please hit like and subscribe and the notification bell so that you can know when we load more content Go.
Speaker 2:Go.
Speaker 1:Okay, so you're so silly.
Speaker 2:So, anyway, so the dog got hit and the poor dog is yelling and yelping and did this and I'm like nobody is doing anything. By this time the police came, the car stopped and it was a little bit of a commotion, but the dog is on the ground, yelping and stuff, and I'm like, well, I have a dog, I had a dog at that time and I'm like, all right, first thing, I'm going to get this dog to the ER. I'm going to take it to the ER that I take my dog to maybe a 15 minute drive from the house. All right, how are we going to get this yelping, screaming dog into the car?
Speaker 2:And oh, just thinking about it was so I run in my house and get my dog's muzzle and I tell the 10-year-old kid who owns the dog put the muzzle on the dog, because he's gnashing at this point and he's like I'm too scared I'm too scared. I'm like what do you mean? You just get your dog.
Speaker 2:But anyway so I get the muzzle on and the police help me to get the dog into the. I had the Q5 at the time so it had the you know the SUV with the back, so I took the opening off the top and I put the dog in the back. So meanwhile I'm driving and the au pair of the dog of the you know the homeowner the family, thank you, was in the car with me. So I drive to the.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, it was horrible because the dog was injured and I don't want the dog to be any more hurt than he is. I don't know the extent of his injuries and he's yelping and he's gnashing around. It's like, ah, and now the au pair and I.
Speaker 1:This is when I would have fainted. I just would have fainted.
Speaker 2:We're driving, we're stressed, I'm probably going through red lights and so obviously there's nobody in the back seat. So there's one seat. We're one seat removed from the dog and the dog keeps like it looks like he's about to come over the thing and we're both like if he comes over, we're pulling over and running out the car. You know, I don't. I think he got out of the muzzle by this point.
Speaker 1:Oh my.
Speaker 2:God we hurry up and get the dog to the, to the, to the emergency vet. In fact I called up and said I'm bringing in a dog, told them what was going on, they're like, come right in. But unfortunately the dog was almost mortally injured. He broke his back and stuff.
Speaker 1:So they put him down and all.
Speaker 2:And the owner. So it was funny because I remember I must have been coming from work because I was wearing scrubs. So when the owner came in, you know, he saw me and he thought I was one of the staff, he thought I was a vet. And I'm like no, no, no, no, those are the experts over there and he and I became friends ever since.
Speaker 1:Wow, yeah, so that was a nice story. So that was just one, but that wasn't the main story.
Speaker 2:Oh Lord. So a couple of years ago I used to. I think we were in our early 20s. We used to work together, me and Lee, so we stayed close and friends over the years. Our families, our kids grew up together and all of those things right. So now Lee has become had become very ill. This is a couple of years ago. She has lupus and I'm familiar with the disease. So she, she, she developed problems with her kidneys and this was really the start of her going into kidney failure. So she was at a local, one of the local community hospitals in Brooklyn, probably for a couple weeks in the hospital with worsening kidney function and I'm on the phone with her every day or every other day.
Speaker 2:How's it going? What's going on? What medicines are you on and all of this stuff? And poor Lee was getting sicker and sicker and sicker In the hospital.
Speaker 2:In the hospital and I'm like, well, I mean, she was breathless at the time and this, and I understand the pathology of renal failure, but I'm like, do they have you on this? Are you doing this? And you know, her family is at bedside and this, and I'm like this lady in her fifties or whatever it's like, I don't like what's going on. So I went to visit her and she just looked awful and I said to her you know what? You can't stay in this hospital. And I think her sister and brother were there at the time or whatever. And they're like, well, she's in the hospital, they're treating or whatever. I said you know, I'm going to come back tomorrow. If there's no improvement by tomorrow, tomorrow you're getting out of this hospital. Uh, okay, you know, but meanwhile she's really decompensating. So I left jersey and went back to brooklyn to see her the next day and she was no better and I I said you know what? My friend is going to die if she stays here. You said that to the doctor.
Speaker 2:Myself and I said to her you need to get out of here. At that time her family was saying like I don't think you should. I said now, mind you, you guys, if you subscribe and you know our podcast, you also know that I have a son who was in renal failure, got a kidney transplant and all of this. So, as I said, I know what kidney failure and treatment looks like.
Speaker 1:But these people just know you as Lee's friend. They're not really thinking of you, as they only know me. They know I'm a doctor, right right.
Speaker 2:Right, they know I'm a doctor, but they also know me as Leslie the secretary. At 20 years old you know the pal and hang out buddy or whatever you know, they don't know me in a clinical way.
Speaker 2:I am going to sign you out and take you to NYU where my son had gotten treatment. I called up his nephrologist and told him what was going on and he said to bring her over. So now I had to convince Lee and her family that this was the best plan. I said we have to go, you are not going to make it. And I'm going to say she wouldn't have had days I'm going to say I mean, she was really in that.
Speaker 1:And nobody was doing anything.
Speaker 2:I was there and I'm speaking to physicians and I'm like, well, what's the plan? What are you going to do about this? What are you going to do about this? And nobody would give me a straight answer.
Speaker 1:What, in your estimation? Why were they so lackadaisical about this? I'm going to be honest. I'm going to be honest, of course.
Speaker 2:I think that they saw this Black woman in into kidney failure. That's just the natural progression of illness and if and when she dies, that's what happens to people like that. Wow, I don't see any other explanation. Nobody else could tell me why they weren't bending over backwards to save the life of this woman with two children and this and that, and nobody thought it was urgent other than continue to plan, continue, the same plan continue the same plan.
Speaker 2:I said to her Lee, I'm taking you out of here. I went up to the nurse's station and I said she is leaving now. Print up her medical records, get me a wheelchair. And were you wearing your cape at?
Speaker 1:the time I think.
Speaker 2:I think at this point, I mean I'm wearing jeans and whatever coming in, you know Right right. And I think and they're like, okay, like. So I waited in the room and time is going and I'm like and I go out where's the medical records? We got to get a doctor and make sure she's. So when it was presented to Lee that she had to sign out against medical advice, of course this became even more scary and I said you can be no worse getting in my car, and I even bought a monitor with me and an oxygen tank with me.
Speaker 2:Thank God we didn't need to use it, but I finally got the medical records. I wheeled her downstairs, she laid in the back seat of my SUV Wow and we drove the 45 minutes from Brooklyn into midtown Manhattan and at the time I called up the ER and told them I'm bringing this patient, she's such and such, such and such. And they saved her life her life First of all. She is now with a new kidney. You saved her life.
Speaker 1:You saved her life.
Speaker 2:I'm telling you, my friend, would not be here today if I didn't leave work.
Speaker 1:What gave you the nerve? What gave you the nerve? You know what?
Speaker 2:it is a couple of things. The simplest, most honest thing is that I was afraid that my friend was gonna die wow I saw it, there was no sense of urgency among the medical staff. I didn't have an explanation for it and I said, if she's going to die, at least let somebody do the most that they can do to try to save her. And I didn't see that happening.
Speaker 1:I see.
Speaker 2:It's unfortunate that I had to work so hard to convince her and her family that this was the right move.
Speaker 1:We depend on doctors.
Speaker 2:I was just going to say we go there for help. We go in there open and say we need help, save my life please. And we put our trust in them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, wow.
Speaker 2:And I'm not going to say that they couldn't. Perhaps they didn't have the ability or the resources or whatever, but they didn't say that and they kept going through day by day, going through the motions. And if one hospital 45 minutes away could have saved her, why couldn't this one?
Speaker 1:Exactly, exactly.
Speaker 2:Exactly. I have to think that it had something to do with them not caring that much that it wasn't that urgent a situation to lose a patient who's critically ill in?
Speaker 1:renal failure, a patient like that, because, as you said, that is how that happens.
Speaker 2:that's the progression of this regular day, this is how it happens and we've seen this before. Yeah, wow, and to this day the family says you saved her life because you did this day because you did so To this day. Because you did so, she got into the ER. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I, you know, I want all the. I want it all. I'm watching the movie at this point.
Speaker 2:And then at that point you know they did the triage, they assessed her and stuff. I know that they. I remember going up to the intensive care unit with her and this and that, and she was in there for a couple of weeks. She was on dialysis for a number of years before she finally got a transplant, and me Omari had gotten a transplant, I guess a year and a half or so before her, so I was able to tell her what to expect.
Speaker 1:The process yes, we talked about how her dialysis was going and this and that and this lady, lee man.
Speaker 2:She lived, dialysis or no, she lived every day like it was her last day she's into partying.
Speaker 1:She was always a very lively, active person and her family was always very involved so she didn't let any grass grow under her feet. I'm telling you Wow, oh, my gosh, goosebumps, yeah, goosebumps, isn't that something? So, in this new hospital, how long did it take for her not to recover but just for things to change Like within?
Speaker 2:how much time, oh probably a day or two. I mean it wasn't long. I mean I saw results right away.
Speaker 1:Oh my, and she had been in the other one for weeks.
Speaker 2:Oh probably two weeks. Yes.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Languishing, in my opinion, getting worse. Because when I first went to visit her, you know she didn't look good and weak and this and that. And then the second time I was there, I'm like oh no, no, what are you doing here? Somebody? Needs to say uncle I give up, discharge this patient you know, I'm just.
Speaker 1:You know, this is not a 90-year-old woman we're talking about. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, yeah, yeah, wow, les.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, Unbelievable. And I recognize I'm like no.
Speaker 1:No, yeah, there's a different way.
Speaker 2:Right, because you saw her humanity. We gotta try something. Yeah, yeah, right right.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, I can't, I can't imagine.
Speaker 2:I gotta reach out and see how she's doing, but last time I spoke to her she's doing just great. She was living a good life. She is still living her good life. Living la vida loca. I live la vida loca.
Speaker 1:Well, we're happy for her. We are Very happy for her, Thank you.
Speaker 2:Now I'm not saying I drove my three hours over to Tampa so I could do anything. Now, I'm not saying I drove my three hours over to Tampa so I could do anything, although if I saw something awry I was going to say, hey, maybe we need to go.
Speaker 1:You know, I'm just giving an opinion. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got to be.
Speaker 2:Listen, this is something that you say all the time, Ange. Listen, this is something that you say all the time, Ange. When we are gifted with certain abilities, one we can't take it for granted, that's one thing, but the other thing is it is our obligation to use those gifts in the best way we can.
Speaker 1:It's an obligation, because not?
Speaker 2:everybody has that ability, an obligation, because not everybody has that ability. And I'm blessed to be able to recognize and have an effect on certain things.
Speaker 1:I can't do everything but the things that I can do. I need to.
Speaker 2:Because just think, just think and I never went there, but just think. If I didn't say, oh well, if that's the way, it is sorry, you know. Oh, and mourn with the family and all of this, what would I be thinking? Did I do the best that I could do.
Speaker 1:That's right.
Speaker 2:I should have spoken up, and I was too afraid to speak up. Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1:It became your responsibility because you had the skifting.
Speaker 2:It was my responsibility because I knew better than the nonsense that was going on. That was nonsense and malarkey.
Speaker 1:Foolishness, foolishness, foolishness, wow, crazy.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Listen, I'm going to just add some exclamation points to this, to what you said about your gifting. First of all, if you don't know what you're gifted in, that's where the problem starts it's true if you don't know where your gift, what your gifts are? Problem, listen, reach out to me, I will help you. I will help you because it's important, because when you know what they are, then what leslie said you know that it is your responsibility to show up. That's why you're there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's not happenstance.
Speaker 1:It's not happenstance, it's not.
Speaker 2:I even go back and say 40 years ago, when we first met. Yeah, about 40 years ago. Who knows why I sat next to her working every day 40 years ago. Right Right, you know the God I serve puts things in place and knows, way before we're even born, how things are going to play out.
Speaker 1:Alpha and the omega.
Speaker 2:yes, so I could have worked next to her at the physical therapy place, only to save her life 40 years later Maybe she had a job that has not been finished on this earth, yeah, yeah. And he used me as a conduit.
Speaker 1:We don't know, Yep, we don't know, and he'll use you. That's what gifts are for. They're not for you. Yeah, I mean you get to have them, but I'm just saying they're there in service of others.
Speaker 2:And speaking of gifts and service, look at the cup that I'm using my kidney donut cup.
Speaker 1:Oh, very nice.
Speaker 2:So you guys also know I donated my kidney and my recipient is doing just great Awesome and it was another thing that I could do. Yeah, I didn't know you know who knew but I stepped up, I shared my spare and now somebody else is living a good life. This think he's about 50-year-old man Good and happy life. Living his happy life, no dialysis, and he's taking good care of my old kidney and you are taking care of yourself. And I'm doing the best I can.
Speaker 1:One-dega-dega kidney is kicking it, it is.
Speaker 2:It's kicking it. Wow, awesome, leslie. I just thought of that.
Speaker 1:Really, it's a beautiful thing. It is, it's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's important to share this with folks so they understand that number one you talk about this all the time.
Speaker 2:That's number three why I need to get to bed right now. Number one Right now, right now, about your gifting.
Speaker 1:And number two, about how you have to advocate for yourself. Right, there has to, just because these doctors know what the doctors know. If you see that you're not getting better, whatever Do, you know what I mean? It's not this is your lot in life. Yeah, that's serious. Yeah, like see what it is that you need not getting better, whatever Do you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:It's not this is your lot in life. Yeah, that's serious. Yeah, Like see what it is that you need to do. It doesn't mean it's your time to go.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you got to try everything.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:And when you don't know what everything means and when you see a loved one who's very sick.
Speaker 2:You don't know that there are options or you know that there are other things that it could be. This could be like time to say goodbye, yeah, but guess what I knew?
Speaker 1:yes, I knew yes, you did yes you did well. Thank you for showing up. I'm sure that um you know she is um praying for you every day because you, her life would have been stuffed out now anyway, I know why did this have to be so heavy?
Speaker 2:because sometimes it is, sometimes it just is you know me and my life of rainbows and unicorns. I like light. I want to keep it light, yeah, but life has all of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't want me in my life of rainbows and unicorns. I like light. I don't want to keep it light.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but life has all of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah Right, it's not just those parts, it has these parts too. Anyway, all right, folks, that's it for this episode. Thank you for listening. Thank you for listening.
Speaker 2:So this has been another episode of Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn, brooklyn.
