Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn
This is what the world needs now: two free-thinking “seasoned” Black women speaking their truth and inspiring others to do the same. Shaped by 45 years of friendship that began at the prestigious Brooklyn Technical High School through the Ivy League, medical school, marriages, divorces, triumphs, parenting queer children, life-threatening illness and many many amazing adventures. Each week, besties Leslie Osei-Tutu and Angella Fraser will push against boundaries in love, culture, careers, faith, politics and out-dated assumptions about women of a certain age. Remember, you’re never too old to change your mind…or your hair! (but more on that later :-)All views are our own and do not reflect the views of our institution/company. Information provided is not intended to serve as medical advice.
Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn
What’s Behind Friendships That Last?
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What makes friendships last? The Besties have not only been blessed with their long-standing relationship, but have many others that are intact since elementary school.
They change, yes, but there are some key components that make them last. This week’s episode explores the boundaries, curations, and grace that are behind their friendship successes.
Some topics covered:
• Zero tolerance for gossip and strict confidentiality are core values in their friendship culture
• Learning when to offer validation versus objective perspective takes time in any relationship
• The "urgency of now" reminds us to prioritize meaningful connections in our later years
• A practical friendship filter: would you allow your children to spend time with this person?
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Introduction to Black Boomer Besties
Speaker 1Hey Aunt , Showtime . Hey Leslie , How's it going ?
Speaker 2It is going well . Today's a good day . It is a good day . It's a warm day . You know I love the heat . You do it's uh , yeah , today's a really good day . I started to go more into detail , but that's my own personal business . That's your own personal business About who's in the next room waiting for me .
Speaker 1And we never talk about our personal business here .
Speaker 2Okay , groucho , my cool drink of water . How about that ?
Speaker 1Okay , groucho , yeah , oh my gosh .
Speaker 2Hey , so welcome to another episode of Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn .
Speaker 1I'm Angela and that's Leslie , my best friend of almost 50 years . We're two free-thinking 60-something-year-old women who have decided we have committed to living our lives with more bold action and more joy , and we invite you to join us in doing so yourself . Join us by listening to our podcast . Join us by embracing a joyful lifestyle .
Speaker 2And also they can join us by reading your book , because your book we can talk more about that later , but it really does outline some of the things that we find important as joy living older women , so we can talk about that a little bit later .
Speaker 1So today we're going to be talking about friendships and how we have curated our friendships , what kind of filters we use to decide who's in and who's out , how we developed , how we developed a level of confidence around doing that Right , because we weren't always this way , trust me , where we felt like we had the power to decide who we had in our circle and who didn't , so we're going to talk about some of those things today .
Speaker 2You want to talk about how this conversation came up , because obviously we've been best friends . We speak . You know what I was recently asking Rick . I said to him do you know what it is ? Can you name something that I do every single day ? And he really couldn't . But you know it was you . You know something like not the obvious . So I came up with two . I said name two things that I do every , every single day . One of the things is I drink coffee every single day . Yeah , and I told him . The other thing is I speak to angie every single day yeah , yeah .
Speaker 1So we , we have this topic come up .
Speaker 2How did it come up ? It just came up like a day or so ago .
Speaker 1Sure . So it came up and you know , we invite you into our lives as we um , as we kind of reflect on how we came to be these
Curating Friendships: Who's In, Who's Out
Speaker 1two people and this friendship and , um , the kind of nuggets that we recognize that we want to share with you . So what came up is that we were , um , we were discussing a couple of our friends who were having some , who are having some conflict , and we were kind of looking at that and trying to figure out why , also looking at why those things don't tend to happen with us with us , leslie and I , but also with us more broadly , because with our circle yeah , we have , obviously , leslie and I have friends in common , but we also have um friend groups that are not um connected , right , and so we started looking at that and we started thinking about um .
Speaker 1I think you used an analogy , um , you'll have to remember it , but it was something around . I'll tell you yeah , go ahead . What was the ?
Speaker 2analogy , before we even go in that direction . What you're forgetting is that I think what preceded even that observation about the two of those people in conflict we were . You had just had a nice long conversation with one of our mutual friends and you were telling me how nice and how the conversation went . And I says you know , isn't it nice that , how special is it that we have that deep connection with our circle ? Yeah , and I said , you know , and these people are very different people , very different Yet , and still we always feel the love and the connection that we have with them whenever we're in communication with them . And I think that's what it is and it's like well , why is that ? Is that a coincidence that all of our different friends , we have that connection ? And I said no , ang , if you think about it , these folks have been handpicked and weeded out over the years so that the people who remain in our close circle , they've been vetted Right , they've been vetted .
Speaker 1That's very true . That's very true . I forgot that part , so what ?
Speaker 2I said , is that the analogy is like why is it that we're in a hospital and there are all these sick people ? Because that's where the sick people go . You know what I mean . So the people who love us , they're the people that are here . Yeah , and that's what we recognized and prompted this conversation and this episode .
Speaker 1Yeah , and I think the extension of that because that was definitely where it all began and the extension of it was in this conflict like these are not the type of conflicts that come up with with us right , there's a net right here .
Speaker 2Yeah , Well he's not making a camera appearance , so he might be bothering you , but I don't see it .
Speaker 1If you see me like blinking like that , he got me Remember when I was recording and one flew in my mouth and I was trying to play it off and I was just .
Speaker 2I remember that . But anyway , don't fly in her mouth .
Speaker 1So so . So the things that we we wanted to talk about and kind of bring to the surface for your consumption is the fact that we do curate that over the years , yeah , we have created some filters that have weeded people out . Because what I like to remind people who look at us , look at our friendship , look at different aspects of our lives and think , oh my God , we listen . First of all , we haven't arrived at our destination yet . We won't do that until the Lord calls us home . Right , we're on , we're on this journey Right , and where we are now is not where we were , you know , 10 years ago , five years ago , 20 years ago for sure .
Speaker 1Right , and so we weren't always in this place where we felt like , you know , our friends are tight and the ones who had to fall by the wayside . It was meant to be , and all of that stuff . I know for a fact that , oh my gosh , I'm going to tell you guys some of what I struggled with , as I , you know , kind of grew into myself . So so the fact that we have found these ways to curate and where people just kind of , I guess they got uncomfortable with who we are and decided that they didn't want to be , so they were curating too , they were kind of deciding they didn't want us .
Speaker 2The way that I made the analogy , if you remember , and you were cracking up . I said it's when you're cooking those collard greens and you know it's like you start simmering and simmering and the juice that gets left in the pot . The mother
The Handpicked Circle Theory
Speaker 2liquor the pot , liquor the pot liquor the mother , liquor that is what remains in our friend circle , which is why it's so rich .
Speaker 1Yes .
Speaker 2You know . So we have connections that we may not speak to for months , but when we do , it's lockstep and we still feel the connection and the love .
Speaker 2When you can hang up with someone and say , man , that was nice . And you know , we still pray for our friends , whether we speak to them regularly or not , and those types of things . It's like wow , and it really was notable that . Why is it that so we feel this way about all these close folks ? Well , duh , you know , over the years there were folks that we didn't feel that connection or we didn't job with or , for whatever reason , we didn't think that they should remain very close to us , or perhaps they showed themselves unworthy .
Speaker 1Right , right , and you know the way that I started to coin it , just coming from my corporate life , is that we have a friendship culture , right . We have a way that when you want to be a part of that culture , you stay , and when you don't want to be a part of that culture , you show uncomfortable and you go right , and so some of those things just to give you some solid examples is we don't tolerate gossip .
Speaker 2It's not something that we do . It's not something that we do , yeah .
Speaker 1And and people know that about us . So if they bring that to us and after the fifth time we're like I'm not interested .
Speaker 2That's not something that we feel comfortable about with . That's also not something that we're silent about . When it's in our close circle , you know , we may remind each other , or that sounds like gossip or you know let's not . We're not going to spread that information or go online and print something in social media and press forward or whatever . Yeah , yeah , that's not . It's just not a it's just not a .
Speaker 1It's just not a thing . Another thing that came to mind for me is that , um , we hold confidences , right , which is related to gossip , but it's different Right , and and even with Leslie and I and I know that um know that this is , this is an uncommon thing , just from what you see out there on social media . Yeah , memes with you know best friends .
Speaker 2They told me not to say anything . Yeah , to tell you .
Speaker 1And it's like which that's just yeah .
Speaker 2It's another thing . We just don't do that . We don't tolerate it . If somebody tells me something in confidence , Ange is not going to know about it .
Speaker 1And I don't want to .
Speaker 2Yeah , ange is not going to know about it and people don't believe that necessarily they don't believe it . I know you tell her everything Exactly .
Speaker 1No I don't Exactly . No I don't Exactly .
Speaker 2You know , there's some confidences and some agreements that are sacred and you know my word is very important to me .
Speaker 1And we hold each other to that standard .
Speaker 2Mm-hmm .
Speaker 1Right , Leslie wouldn't tell me , for example , and vice versa , because she knows I would shut her down . Why are you telling I'm not ?
Speaker 2Yeah . Do you know what I mean , so we hold ourselves accountable .
Speaker 1What's another thing we don't like ? Messy .
Speaker 2No , messy was so yesterday . Let me just tell you we could do a whole podcast about my messy past . Oh , I got details and juice , oh my gosh , I know what the skeletons are buried .
Speaker 2I do say who I would be with all of those things . But you know , I thank God that with wisdom , with knowing the Lord and with the way that I want to conduct myself , I got rid of all of that . You know , a lot of that drama and messiness . I don't know if somebody would agree . Okay , there is a little bit of messiness left , but 90% of the messiness is over . I'm a work in progress . Hey , hey , what can I say ?
Speaker 1yeah , we all are , we all are and and you know trust . This is not a we , we got it locked down , we're perfect , it's none of that , far from that . It is that we're recognizing , oh my god , we have some pretty amazing set of friends again together , mutual friends and separately . And what is it ? How did we get to this place where we can recognize that we appreciate the ones that stayed around right , the ones that kind of was a part of it ? I want to share some of the messier parts of friendship building for me .
Speaker 2I'm smiling because I was going to share something also , but I'll let you share first .
Speaker 1You let me share first , and this one is you know , I guess probably a lot of people go through this Not everybody , because I know you , so go ahead . You didn't have similar experiences , but when I came to America , right . Okay , you're going way back , but go ahead yeah yeah , Because this was a really significant Part of that and it holds some regrets that I that I have around around this and around how how much I allowed peer pressure to dictate how I moved in the world Right .
Speaker 2Young person .
Speaker 1But again , it's , it's , it's calling out the fact that this has all been a journey , and when you get to a certain I won't even say that it's only related to age but when you have experienced things in your life and you reach the point where you do so with some intentionality right , I want to . I know this is a learning experience and I want to learn from it and I want to show up differently on the other side of it . That is intention , because you can go through stuff and you can still keep going through stuff and going through stuff and going through stuff .
Speaker 2I never be that reflect . I have a list of people who do that . In fact , those people are not in our circle anymore . They're not in the circle .
Speaker 1They didn't make the cut .
Speaker 2And you know we're not throwing shade and making it sound like this exclusive thing and being mean girl stuff . We're not talking about that . That's another thing the filter .
Speaker 1We don't accept mean girls .
Speaker 2Yeah , we don't like the mean girl stuff .
Speaker 1There's none of that stuff . So , you know , coming up here from Jamaica , heavy accent , I don't know the stuff , I don't know the music , I don't know what's in , what's out , definitely I wasn't dressing like other people , just all the things right , and there's certain things that I um , um , I lacked definitely confidence , definitely this idea of
Our Friendship Culture and Values
Speaker 1um . I struggled with kind of the right and wrong of things because I was so interested in being in certain friend groups , right , and some , uh , one of those friend groups was kind of the mean girl group , right , and I remember , um , that I actually got into a fight with someone because I was pressured to do it and because I wanted to .
Speaker 1I wanted to show up as whatever , so I could be in this , in this group , because that was how I felt that I could be accepted , sure .
Speaker 2Right .
Speaker 1And given respect and all of those things , because otherwise I felt like I would continue to be laughed at . That , you know whatever .
Speaker 2Yeah , you had to show yourself in a certain way , right , and that's common , even as adults , and stuff .
Speaker 1I think so . I think so , but it's just a , and there have been many times since then that it wasn't always the right decision , right To to act in a certain way . You do it because of this , but you learn . You see what it feels like . It feels like shit . I don't want to do that again .
Speaker 2I want to , you know , not be that person we got to be able to live with ourselves and sleep at night at the end of the day , live with ourselves and sleep at night at the end of the day , and then , when we become parents , you have to model behavior , yeah , for children , rather than tell them . So you're absolutely right , we had to portend ourselves in a different way . Portend is not the word comport okay , what's the word , is it ? Comport . Why am I saying we had to behave ? In another word this is not the sat . You're like what ? What am I talking about ? Maybe it's my , my beverage .
Speaker 2I'm drinking that's making me speaking tongues , but we had to behave in a different way . If we wanted to model what we wanted for our children you know , absolutely , because , absolutely , because you know we had . At that point , we had eyes watching us .
Speaker 1Right and I remember .
Speaker 2And we have eyes watching us . You know what I mean . It's like yeah , we are also . Our steps and our behaviors are monitored , I believe .
Speaker 1Yeah , I believe that too . I remember , and we've talked about our Bible study and how we used to have this pretty thriving multiple I don't know how many people it- .
Speaker 2I think it had been as many as seven people at some point .
Speaker 1Right , and by the end of it it was down to three , and then there were three , and then there were three . And I bring that up because that was one place where some of this clashing happened and I would say maybe Of all places Bible study .
Speaker 2But remember
Learning From Messy Friendship Moments
Speaker 2, we expected that it was a safe space , Right , we expected commitment and we also knew that it being God-led that we felt free to be able to open our hearts and be vulnerable . Right open our hearts and be vulnerable , and there were certain members that really couldn't yeah , they couldn't adhere to that either vulnerability , that level of honesty or whatever , and people became offended and you know it , we had some difficulty with that .
Speaker 1We really did . That was that was hard , hard . We learned , we learned a lot . Yeah , we did learn a lot you know , we , we learned too that there were just some people who , no matter what they weren't going to trust , they weren't going to um , yeah , that's true , and you know , and it's like of all things , bible study .
Speaker 2You know it's like this is where , but you know , as Monique has always said , wherever you go , there you are , you bring yourself with you . So these folks brought themselves , as did we to Bible study also .
Speaker 1Absolutely , it wasn't a safe space for everybody . I was called cantankerous a few times and it hurt , but yeah , okay .
Speaker 2Yeah , it got a little heated sometimes , and you of all people , that was kind of funny though .
Speaker 1And we say Bible study , but on the other hand , faith people on a faith journey and faith traditions can be a very judgmental space .
Speaker 2Yes , a very , very judgmental space . It was judgmental Very much .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah it was harsh , but anyway , some of those people are not in our circle . Or they're in . You know , there's like the inner circle and their outer rings , so they may be further out than Well .
Speaker 2Yeah , and not just that you know , when I love someone as a friend or partner or whatever , you know I understand love , but I also understand that there are some limitations . But I also understand that there are some limitations . You know there are some people that you don't need them to be right next to you , exactly you know all the time so yeah , you got to be able to discern that . Can I just say something that this did . You finish telling your story , though .
Speaker 1I'll let you finish . Yeah , that's all I wanted to share . That was enough .
Speaker 2The way that I'm smiling , so one of the things that I like about you there are many things , but I'll just say this People don't realize that you have the ability to do this , but you really can speak to me in what I determined to be an objective way . You know , you seem to put your feelings aside very much and in a way , not as a contrarian , but you offer me a wider perspective on things . And then there was day before yesterday .
Speaker 1Oh my God , what did I do ? I don't remember .
Speaker 2I'm speaking to you about an issue that was important to me and it was somewhat , it was personal and it was a little hurtful .
Speaker 2You know , I was explaining something to you and I got upset that you didn't take my side right away . Okay , well , I wouldn't say I was upset , but I'm like , wait a minute , that's not . And I even said this . That's not why I called you . Sometimes you need , you need . You didn't right away go and validate my feelings , ok , instead , you , you showed me the limitations of my thinking and what the other person's perspective could be , and I felt that that was a little too soon , to the point where I said you know what ? I don't want to talk about this anymore . Do you remember I said that you did , you did , you did .
Speaker 1I'm like you are the wrong person for me to speak to about this , okay , so that's valid and I'm working on that , right , because I know that timing is really important , right ? Um , and I definitely am working on that , I'll tell you that you may not be aware , but a few days before that , you brought something and I was like nope , nope , I almost spit something out it's all rah-rah-les right now .
Speaker 1All of it okay , so I did have a rah-rah-les moment it was all rah-rah-les and then you called Monique and Monique did what I would have done , but I'm nope , that's not me on this call . Nope , nope , nope . So it happens . I get it right sometimes , yes , but this time . But here's what happened though . And you tell me if you saw it , if you experienced it the same way , right ?
Speaker 2And in the end , after I calmed down , of course you know , because we're sympathical I understood exactly what you were saying and I understood exactly what you were saying . You didn't express that , you didn't validate it so , les , what ?
Speaker 1so ? Definitely what you're saying about my timing . Absolutely , I see that and , working on it , I also saw that we both stayed in it , meaning that you explained like I would . I said something like what would you gain from that ?
Speaker 2what would be your motivation for speaking to her about ?
Speaker 1that you probed yes , and what would be your motivation for speaking to her about that ? Yes , or you did . You did , you probed yes , and you know me well enough to know that those questions were not well . What do you ? It wasn't like that , it was really so . So what ? What do you expect to gain from it ? Right ?
Speaker 2right , I wasn't intimidated or I didn't feel . Yeah , let me think about how I did feel . Yeah , I know how I did not .
Speaker 1Yeah , so go ahead your , why what you , what you thought you would get out of it , how prepared you would be , how prepared you would be to have the conversation and how prepared you would be , regardless of the answer . You know what I mean and I appreciated that you stayed in it to get that out of it , right .
Speaker 2And in the end it worked out , because I think when I first called you I was kind of in the spin , yeah , and I think you kind of stopped the spin , yeah , and made it a little more logical . But at some point I think I wanted you to say like what , I don't know , how could she ? You know , because I'm like how could ?
Speaker 1she .
Speaker 2Don't you see , don't you see , yeah , yeah , I , I definitely um but then , but you did really take me out of the emotion of it , right , and really get me to clarity . If I have a , a conversation , you know what will I get from the conversation ? How would it ? You know what is the result ? Why do you want to have this conversation ?
Speaker 1What good will it ?
Speaker 2do you now that kind of thing ?
Speaker 1Right yeah , so it became a little clear . But did you
Honest Communication in Long Friendships
Speaker 1know that it ?
Speaker 2was bothering me , because I said , like I don't want to talk to you about this , and then we kept talking about it .
Speaker 1I did .
Speaker 2You are clearly not the person I want to . I I did . I also .
Speaker 1Clearly not the person I need to speak to about . Who else can I call ? I also know that I'm very protective of you . I'm protected of you from yourself too , not just from other people . And if I see that you're doing something that you may later regret , I can't not not say anything . I still have to manage the timing , because sometimes you just want to let off steam and this thing that happened a few days ago . It was that for me and I'm like , I'm not going to do that . That's not what this is about .
Speaker 1But you know , I kind of when I , when I perceive that you're moving towards something and I think what , what was happening is that I felt like you were ready to do the thing , you were ready to make the call , you're ready to like , now that you were out of the situation and you're driving , I'm like , I'm going to do . I felt like the next when you hung up from me you were going to do it and I was like I don't know if she's going to get out of it . I think she may be hurting a relationship that she may not be prepared to hurt . Because she was , I was definitely thinking that Okay .
Speaker 2You know what I mean . Okay , because you know you went into that meta analysis like I really want you to think about this . I want to make sure that you're thinking clearly and you know it's like dog , like dog got it . You know I didn't call my coach or my therapist did I ? Dial the wrong number here she is again . You know how um one of your children said I don't like grandma , she makes me learn . You know , it's that kind of thing , it's like it is .
Speaker 1I know , I know , I know that that is my natural wiring and I do have to constantly work on timing , because that makes the big , that makes the big difference right .
Speaker 2I mean , I could have delayed me saying this until the next time we spoke and but you just said why you felt there was some urgency , because you thought that I was so in it that I would have perhaps made you know , been impulsive I , ah , oh , did you ?
Speaker 1hear that . Is that lightning ? Yes , it shook the house . I think I saw something in the curtain behind you .
Speaker 2Whoa oh , car alarms are going off . It's a little scary , oh wow . Yeah , it might affect the power , had it been raining . I think raining , but not like this Thunder right right , but I like this kind of thing .
Speaker 1I know you like it too , listen . So , guys , you're seeing this play out , right , that's what I'm saying .
Speaker 2I didn't tell her how I felt about this .
Speaker 1And she didn't tell me we were going to be talking about it today .
Speaker 2No , but we were talking about friendships .
Speaker 1We were talking about friendships .
Speaker 2We were talking about friendships .
Speaker 1I guess I'll keep her , I guess this is not the deal breaker Another thing there needs to be more things in the keep account than the reasons to keep account .
Speaker 2Then kick her out the door account . So far it's the keep account is like this out the door account so far it's the keep account . Is like this . It's like could you imagine if I quit you after 50 years ?
Speaker 1oh my gosh , I don't even know . I don't even know what that it's not even in the realm of possibility at this point . Listen , 50 years in , we can , we can be assured , we can be assured that , um , first of all , you will never be rid of me . I don't care what you might want to do , right ?
Speaker 2But somehow you'll always be there . I will show up , remember you said to me , I'll ring your doorbell in Florida . Remember , you said to me that you want to die first , and I'm like no , I want to die first .
Speaker 1It's a little ridiculous . It is ridiculous , but you know yeah , the sentiment is clear .
Speaker 1Yeah , and these are , these are , you know , not always your , it's not always your action that Someone may choose to stop a friendship with you without you knowing why , without you having anything you know . That is obvious , that you could say this is , this is why and um , just acknowledging that that happens , that's really painful , that is , um , you know it's , it's , it's devastating , and I know people who have had really long-term , deep friendships . People have been there at births of children and all of these kind of significant points along a life , and then now they are , they are gone , the friendship is gone . So there's definitely that and I don't want to kind of Pretend about that , that that is not some people's realities , just as how kind of Leslie described what got us to talk about this .
Speaker 2We also just wanted to make clear that you do have some control around who you let in to your circle , and I really think that that's the main point that we're saying that if we are committed to living a joy-filled life and we're not talking about transient happiness , we're talking about living the life that fulfills us , enriches us and the life that we believe God created us to live , then it takes it's our responsibility to start thinking about the people that are in our circle and the people that are in our ear , the people that we are holding close to us . If they are , if they mesh with the people that we want to be . I remember when I was a high school teacher , young girls would come to me with so much relationship , angst and crying and tearful and whatever . And I said to them I remember that you know , these relationships should feel good overall and they should make you and your person feel good . And when you're in relationship with someone and he doesn't and you don't feel good , that's time to reevaluate that relationship .
Speaker 2And I'm really putting that checklist next to the people . We're getting older , we don't know how long we have here . So you know , I don't . I recently had to just recently , you know separate someone , not cut them off , but just put some distance between me and someone that was causing me some pain and difficulty . So , yeah , it's a constant thing . It's not like it's a one and done Right . Right . You know , hopefully , that I'm always growing you know .
Speaker 1Yeah , leslie mentioned my book and I was looking through it recently because we are going to be talking a little more about it , because I am starting up my turning up my coaching practice again Now that I've taken some much needed time away to do some larger life planning , and so one of the chapters is called urgency of now and , by the way , the name of my book is we're too old for this .
Speaker 1I took out there was another word at the end of it used to be we're too old for this shite .
Speaker 1I took that out so that I think it was interfering with , with the platforms , because , you know , certain words aren't allowed . We're too old for this . And it really kind of speaks to some
The Urgency of Now
Speaker 1of the , some of the rules , some of the , the , the decisions that we've made , and now , at such a time as this , that we have the power to let go of some of those things . And in the section where I talk about the urgency of now , I thought of it because of what Leslie just said , that we have more time behind us than ahead of us , right , yes , the sooner we start now , the more time we have to enjoy the time we have left right , the sooner we start doing those things that we have thought about doing , whether it's to go somewhere or to do something , or to no longer have someone or something loom larger in your life than it deserves . Now is the time to do that . Right now is the time . There's no greater , better , more impactful time than now .
Speaker 2And I was telling a friend on the phone just yesterday she's in a difficult situation and I said you know , if what you want to move toward is this , then the day to start moving toward this is today , and it might take you three years to get there or five years to get there , but you have to start today if this is going to be your goal .
Speaker 1Right , right . It's like what does your , your future self , what ? What decisions can you make now that your future self would say oh my God , I'm so glad you decided to do that you know instead of why , why ?
Speaker 2why are we still ? But why you could have done this five years ago and you know I say that about my prior marriage . I'm like why did I , you know ? But you know , one of my sayings I think about is yesterday . I said tomorrow , you know . So yeah , wow .
Speaker 1Yesterday I said tomorrow , wow , yeah , yeah wow , so okay well , anything else , anything else you want to share , any other ?
Speaker 2any other of my , of my you know ill-timed , but I'll just say that right now . It was like this at the start of the conversation , but now that the pluses are you know the Well . Remember , you recently got off probation , so you're tenured , so I can't quit you . It's a contract now you know .
Speaker 1And I , you know , I , I , you know , I dig Me what ? Nah , I dig , yeah , I yeah , I'll keep you . I dig what we have . I dig what we , what we represent to others . I dig like our friend group so much . To others . I dig like our friend groups so much . My firstborn had dinner , lunch , brunch with two of my friends , just not be . I had nothing to do with it . I had nothing at all to do with it .
Speaker 1Just I went out with aunt this and aunt that and I'm like it's a beautiful thing that we represent to our children , that we have these friendships that are solid .
Speaker 2And allies .
Speaker 1Allies .
Speaker 2Allies .
Speaker 1People that they can call to . That's a good thing . That's a good filter . Would you allow your children to hang out with them ?
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah , that's true .
Speaker 1Whether you have children or not .
Speaker 2If you had children , yeah , yeah , if you had children , would they be ? Yeah .
Speaker 1Right , and you know some friends have a little , you know they have that thing about them . That quirkyness it's them , but it's not me , but are they going to be able to be good for your kids ? It's a really good filter for you to use . Will they know when to turn that down or when not to turn that down ? Sure . With your kids , those types of things . Anyway , we could go on .
Speaker 2Yeah , we can but we can go on for 50 more years . Oh man . So we are going to have such great conversations for you coming up , so just remember , hit , like and subscribe , because you're going to be happy you did . We're going to bring interesting content to you .
Speaker 1Yeah , we have some great guests coming up , just so elated that a few pretty , pretty big names have reached out to us to ask if they could be on our podcast and have accepted our request for joining us as our guest . So please come on back for more .
Speaker 2All right , and I'll say this has been another episode of Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn , brooklyn .