Our internal pressure to achieve more: Is this a generational thing?

When Leslie confesses she approached Angie for career coaching because "I'm not good at too many things”, the statement stops Angie in her tracks, considering Leslie is an accomplished anesthesiologist who returned to medical school at 36 as a single parent.

This moment of disconnect between achievement and self-perception becomes the catalyst for exploring why we struggle to recognize our own worth.

Their honest exchange demonstrates how trusted relationships can help us challenge our limiting beliefs and see ourselves more clearly.

Ready to examine your own self-imposed limitations? Join us for this eye-opening conversation that might just change how you view your own journey. And if you're looking for more guidance on living joyfully, check out Angela's book "We're Too Old For This"—because at a certain point, we've lived more days than we have left, and we're simply too old to delay joy.

Book a free coaching consultation with Angie here:

https://calendly.com/rhythmwigs/more-joy-complimentary-consultation

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Transcript

Catching Up After Being Sick

Speaker 1 0:02

Hey Ang, hey Les, how you doing. She just made me laugh. She just made me laugh. That's why I'm laughing. I always make you laugh.

Speaker 2 0:12

But listen, I'm really glad that you're feeling better, because I know you haven't been feeling well and you know I don't like it when you're sick. I know, I know, I mean yeah, if you're too sick to record and all of that stuff, it's like you're too sick.

Speaker 1 0:29

It was bad and I realized that how much of an introvert I am, even though most people wouldn't identify me that way. But I'm really an introverted extrovert or an extroverted introvert? No, whichever, I'm definitely a mix, and I just kind of melted into myself. Haven't gone out.

Speaker 2 0:58

But that's because you were ill, but you found time to sew.

Speaker 1 1:02

Listen, it's one of the things that you guys can see. Wait, it's like a bomb look behind like south you see what's that.

Speaker 2 1:08

I see, I see the sewing machine, I see it, I see it.

Speaker 1 1:12

That's, that's say hello to my little friends that's how I find peace and just think and I remember my mom a lot because I'm using my hands and my mother's hands are. She taught me how to sew, but her hands are also very my hands are very much like hers.

Speaker 2 1:40

It's so funny that we both curate and appreciate and love sewing. I started to say creating, but I'm not as much of a creator as much as I am a sewer, but I use it to reward myself at the end of having to do something. I'm like you're not going to get on the sewing machine until you finish this task, Isn't that crazy?

Speaker 1 1:57

It's crazy. And my mother, my freshman year in college, I you know I had a sewing machine at home and she forbade me from taking it to school Because she knows. Freshman year what?

Speaker 2 2:11

a distraction.

Speaker 1 2:13

She knew, smart lady. She knows me. Yes, she knows me. She's like you, ain't staying up all night sewing You're going to be staying up all night, working we all have our things, we all have our things. I remember I used to the thing with my firstborn was reading and I mean, you know they're really easygoing, whatever, but the thing that you cannot stay up until three, four o'clock in the morning.

Speaker 2 2:39

I know they used to have like three or four books at a time.

Speaker 1 2:43

Under the covers with a flashlight. This was before the light of the phone was with a flashlight.

Speaker 2 2:49

So we all have our things. We all have our things. So wait, welcome to another episode of Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn. You know who we are.

Self-Imposed Restrictions Discussion

Speaker 1 3:01

You know who we are, hey y'all. I'm Angela and that's Leslie, my best friend of almost 50 years. We are two free-thinking 60-something-year-old Black women and we have decided we've made the decision to live in a more bold and joyful way, and we started this podcast so that we can share that with you and hopefully you will join us on this journey. So today we're going to talk about self-imposed restrictions that we put on ourselves. Self-imposed oh, we're not good enough, or we're we can't do that, or those that person is so much better at that than me, or that person I could never do that, all of those things. But we're not going to talk about it from what people think of each of us, but ways that that has shown up with with us and yeah, something happened about it, yeah with, with les and as usual it was funny as hell.

Speaker 2 4:10

But then, hilarious, point it and it was like wait a minute it was it was.

Speaker 1 4:16

and if you do want to support us, we do have exclusive content on our Patreon where you can join at the $5 or $10 level and get some behind the scenes. Usually after each episode we stay and the stuff that we don't want to talk about on screen we keep recording and that's what we share with our Patreon subscribers. So you can find us at the Bestie Quad Squad.

Speaker 2 4:47

Quad Squad yes.

Speaker 1 4:48

Bestie Quad Squad, and there's also a link in our description that you can always go there and join us. $5, $5 a month. Come on now.

Speaker 2 4:57

Yeah, you can do that.

Speaker 1 4:58

All right, Go ahead, Les. Tell them what happened. Tell them what happened.

Speaker 2 5:03

So we we you all already know that Ange is a coach Before she's done formal coaching. She has been my life coach for almost 50 years. Right, we used to call it different stuff back then, but right now it's coaching.

Speaker 1 5:21

It's coaching.

Speaker 2 5:22

So I think she was telling me about either something that someone was doing or embarking on a new idea or some such thing. And I was so serious I kind of quieted myself and I'm like, ange, this was over the phone. I said I really need your help. She was aching. I was aching, I was serious. I said I really need your help with something because I just need some direction on what I should be doing. I think I want to do like a side hustle or a side job, but I don't know, I'm not good at too many things. That's where it started. I said you know you have so many talents and abilities. I said but you know, I'm not good at too many things. I really just have you know like one thing or whatever. But I'm not. I'm like maybe you can help me find something that I enjoy and can make money at, or whatever. That's what I said. I was very serious.

Speaker 1 6:27

And I was incredulous. I thought she was pulling my leg. I thought she was pulling my leg, so, okay, okay. So if you've been with us for a while, you know that Leslie is an anesthesiologist. You know that she really committed to her calling of being a physician when she was 36, a physician when she was 36, a single mom at the time and she decided that she was no longer going to defer her dream of becoming a doctor and she applied to medical school, got in and so on. Okay, these are some points. You may also know that whenever Leslie talks about her work, every time without fail, she would do it for free, I would do it for free, I have done it for free, you might also remember that Leslie took a leave of absence for some personal reasons last year.

Speaker 1 7:55

She couldn't wait to go back.

Speaker 2 7:58

I went back earlier than planned. Let me in.

Speaker 1 8:02

I was looking in the hospital window. Let me back in. When you look at your dress the fireworks I didn't do that on purpose, so if you put all this together. Now I coach. A part of my coaching is on joy filled money making, and so I talk about how you have to find out what it is that you are really gifted at and the things that you need, and make those things a part of what you do to make money.

Speaker 2 8:35

I was desperate. I'm like I got to find something Ang.

Speaker 1 8:39

She's like Ang, you got to help me, you got to help me.

Speaker 2 8:44

You help everybody else. There must be something there must be something.

Speaker 1 8:48

I was like wait, wait, les, wait, hold up, wait a minute, you've already found it, you've been doing it, you've been doing it.

Speaker 2 8:57

And what a black Leslie had no idea that this was the thing that she was talking about.

Speaker 1 9:05

That she had found her thing. It's still her thing, but she was, she was, she was kind of in a like I was looking out there.

Speaker 2 9:13

There must be something else. Everybody else finds their calling, but a part of it, whatever.

Speaker 1 9:19

A part of it was that you were beating yourself up about the fact that you hadn't I said that because I don't have.

Speaker 2 9:29

My talents are limited. That's how I look at it.

Speaker 1 9:34

So I'll ask you something.

Speaker 2 9:37

I'm going to ask you something I feel kind of foolish right now.

Speaker 1 9:42

But this is, this is the thing, right? It's a real thing, right, mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 9:46

It's a real thing though. And let me tell you I wasn't joking when I said that you know when I asked for help?

Speaker 1 9:51

No, she wasn't joking and let me tell you a little bit more about the kind of Dr. Leslie is Not the type of doctor, but the kind Actually. Her kindness, her humanism, the way that she shows up for her patients, their families before, after. That kind of doctor that she is, leslie won when she graduated medical school. She won. Was it the first? Were you the first recipient?

Speaker 2 10:19

I was in the first class as a fellow of the gold humanism society.

Speaker 1 10:25

Okay. So she got an award basically for her bedside manner. Okay. So she's not just and I'm saying just not to minimize it, but she's not only a well-trained physician, she also treats her patients as if they are family. And when I say that she doesn't coddle family all the time, she tells them what they need to know and what they need to do, yeah, right, and that's how she shows up. So when she came to me folks and said, Angie, you got to help me.

Speaker 2 11:04

You got to help me.

Speaker 1 11:05

You got to help me, you gotta help me, and the other thing is how much more money you think you're going to earn doing these other things. That's what you said.

Speaker 2 11:14

You're like, you already have your fat job and you love it. You broke it down so clearly Made me feel a little foolish, though you didn't reserve that part. But you said it's like, les, what are you looking for? You love what you do. You're not happy when you're away from it. You have a decent, lucrative salary, you're happy. What kind of side hustle could you pick up to tick all those boxes? And I said yes nevermind.

Speaker 1 11:48

It was kind of like, let me get this straight. And you know, there's, there's, there's something we do call mirror mirroring, where you say repeat what the person said almost verbatim.

Speaker 2 12:02

I should have denied that. I said it like I've done in the past.

Speaker 1 12:06

So that they hear the way you interpreted what they said. Right, and it's not your interpretation, but you're trying to match, to mirror what they said, and so when she heard me say what she said, she was like what the fuck? It sounded ridiculous said she was.

Speaker 2 12:30

It sounded ridiculous like but but we serious, you know, I know it sounds funny, you know, and it's, you know, indicting, of course, on my part, but I think it's something that's pretty common. You know that saying you don't see the forest for the trees. So often I'm in these situations and I really don't understand my role in it. I have difficulty being an outsider looking in. I'm going to give you another example that came up just last week. I was speaking to my aunt over the phone and I was telling her you know, about my plans to you know, we were talking about my plan to relocate to Panama and all of that. And she says you know, leslie, she calls me Leslie, not Les. Well, so many people call me Les. But she says you know, leslie, you've always been so brave.

Speaker 2 13:24

And I said what? And she said you've always been so brave. And I'm like, what do you mean? I don't feel brave. And she says well, look what you did. You've done this in your life, you know, as you mentioned, you know parent of a child, single parent of a child. You went to medical school at 36 and you did this on your own. And now you're just, you know, you're planning to relocate. She's like that's so. I've always thought of you as such a brave person, and I'm like Arnonita I've never never, thought of myself in that way Wow, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't.

Speaker 2 14:06

You know. You know how I always think about medicine and going to medical school. I'm like, if I can do it, anybody can do it. You know, I've said that to you and I've believed it. You know that I understand that circumstances had to be put in place and the ducks had to line up. You know the Swiss cheese model All the circles have to line up. However, make the circles line up and then it happens for you.

Speaker 2 14:36

That's the way I looked at it. So I presented that story to my therapist right and she's like what? Say that again. Did she do a me? No, she did like a. What Say?

Speaker 1 14:52

that again.

Not Seeing Your Own Bravery

Speaker 2 14:53

And she says you don't see yourself as brave. I'm like, no, not at all. She's like, well, making these decisions that you've made? I'm like, but I only did it because I had to do it. You know like I like parenting. You become a single parent. You stay up all night. You go to work in a day, you put your child to bed, then you stay up all night and you study and this and that, and she's like, and then you get a master's degree and I'm like, yeah, but and then I started sounding foolish.

Speaker 2 15:28

And then I and she's like well, don't you think that was brave? And I says, no, I got a master's degree because I was teaching. And I said, in case I didn't get into medical school, you know, that was going to be my backup, you know so. And she's like she said.

Speaker 2 15:45

She said wait a minute, you're telling me you get a master's degree as a backup to doing, and I started sounding a little foolish. I'm like, ah, maybe, maybe you're right. But it's so funny because in all of my years I never looked at myself in this way. In fact, as you know, now the conversation is coming full circle. My conversation with you was started that I felt that I should be doing more.

Speaker 1 16:14

Right.

Speaker 2 16:16

You know, like what I'm doing, busy or not, it's like there must be more out there and I think that's what really has. Could be the type A, you know, characterization or so but I think so much of my behavior over the years has been chasing something else, looking for something else, and we've done podcasts about this previously.

Speaker 1 16:43

Yeah, looking for something else, and we've done podcasts about this previously, yeah, yeah. So, like, have you started investigating? Like, what's behind that, is it? I mean, we say it's type a, but I personally don't don't even like that designation too much. Um, have you thought about that? Let me stop there for a moment. Foolish, you felt foolish.

Speaker 2 17:17

What can you?

Speaker 1 17:18

let some things go for goodness sake, you can't talk about my friend like that, though you can't talk about my friend what it is is.

Speaker 2 17:27

You know the way that you presented it to me and likewise the way that my therapist Christine is her name presented it to me. I started as like wait a minute, but isn't that so obvious? You know it. It only things. It was only obvious when it was pointed out to me. You know, it was only obvious that I have achieved so much of my dream and I know I have. I'm, I'm, I'm very happy. I'm not saying I'm unhappy, doing what I'm doing Of course not yeah.

Speaker 2 17:57

I didn't hear any of that. I didn't realize that. It's like, if your dream is here, it's like I'm here, but once I'm here, it's like, well, what else is there?

Speaker 1 18:08

It's like that bucket list thing it's the bucket list thing, it's the bucket list.

Speaker 2 18:13

And, as I said at the time, my friend, when I asked him well, what's on your bucket list? He's like bucket list. What are you talking about? I don't have a bucket list. I'm like what? I really didn't know that people did not have a bucket list. It, I really didn't know that people did not have a bucket list. It's a thing, it's in the dictionary.

Speaker 1 18:34

What do you mean? You don't have it. Everybody has a bucket list, right right? He said I absolutely do not. Yeah, les, do you think there's a difference between you know either having one or not, but believing that if you don't do certain things there's something wrong with you? Because there's, you know there's a difference between, like in the bucket list example you, you thought not having one was weird, and in the example here, you thought not doing more than what you're already doing and I know your hours, you know and you're on call and what that means and how that limits your movement sometimes and all of that stuff.

Speaker 1 19:24

So that part about well, there's something wrong with me if I'm not doing more, it's like when it goes into that it gets real, like real shaky, and I really do.

Speaker 2 19:42

I love that you're putting my personal business out in public oh, thank you. Thank you, I was being very superficial here.

Speaker 1 19:54

I can't take her anywhere. Y'all heard her start this, right? Yeah, because my therapist Was that me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I misunderstood. Yeah, that was you. Okay, got it.

Speaker 2 20:05

But it reminds me Remember you mentioned and this was uh several uh seasons ago, when, um you spoke about your prior husband your uh former husband and how? When you guys the first former husband, when you guys got the huge big house on the hill and all of this is like okay, we're in our dream house and this, and right away he's like okay, what's next?

Speaker 1 20:30

Right.

Speaker 2 20:31

Okay, what's next?

Speaker 1 20:33

Yeah.

Speaker 2 20:34

So I, too, understand what it feels like to get to a certain place and look around and it's like well, what else you know? Right, right, right. And I think that's what it is. It's not more. The grass is greener on the other side, because I'm not comparing my life or my circumstances to other people, right? What I'm wondering is it's like well, you got energy left, don't you?

Speaker 1 21:03

yeah, so use it. Yeah, but here's the thing right so okay, so we both are. The new term is so is we're, we're both, so is that actually? I have some of the so is s-e-w-i-s-t-s yes so is. I will never say that w-i-s-t I will never say that, but okay anyway, okay, be stuck in your ways, go right ahead ahead Anyway, so I've been.

Speaker 1 21:32

I was waiting for Leslie to join, um, join the zoom, and I'm like, oh, I have five minutes I could be working on, so I brought it to my lap and so there's a bit of an obsession, right. But there's the. There's the kind of thing where you always want to be busy, which I think I have, and there's the kind of thing where, because you were looking for something to not only that you can do, but that can make you money, you money. And that puts another level of pressure on whatever you're doing, when there is an outcome other than the satisfaction of doing the thing. And obviously, if you're sewing, you wear what you sew or you have it up in your house or whatever curtains or whatever, and you see, and that creates satisfaction. But the part that kind of took it over the top for me is when you were like, yeah, I can make money doing that, what, what?

Speaker 2 22:42

You've already, I've got a means. What the heck.

Speaker 1 23:08

What are you talking about? What are you talking about? But, seriously, like we have these. So the question is and I'm asking myself this too, because I absolutely not about this, but I absolutely have parts of my life where I feel like I'm not enough, I could be doing better at X, y, z or, and the pressure of that is really intense sometimes, right, that's why when I say thank God, I mean thank God around when we are so hard on ourselves about whatever our thing is and we get so hard on ourselves when we aren't kind of doing all that we think we should be doing. Yeah Right, and the pressure of that and what it is that I can speak for me.

Speaker 2 24:09

It's just not a big deal. Yeah, well, tell me what. What do you? What?

Speaker 1 24:11

me, it's just not a big deal. Yeah Well, tell me what. What do you? What do you mean? It's not a big deal.

Speaker 2 24:14

I'm going to say, like my accomplishments, if we want to call them that. Outsiders say it's a big deal, but I've never felt that. Right, Right, Wow. You know I've never personally felt like a big deal you know, yeah, yeah, wow.

Speaker 1 24:30

You know I've never personally felt like a big deal. You know, yeah, you're a big deal.

Pushing Past Self-Doubt To Speak Up

Speaker 2 24:44

You know, I guess if I on paper, you know, I just don't feel like a big deal, that's all I'm saying. You know, I don't feel as accomplished or finished, or you know, is it a self-esteem issue? Is it an imposter syndrome issue? I don't think it's exactly imposter syndrome per se, because I know exactly who it is, that I am. I just say that I don't think it's that special.

Speaker 1 25:09

Right right, right, right, um I. One of the areas where I struggled with this is, um, I'm the youngest of four. Um, my siblings are were always really smart in school. My eldest brother is a lawyer, my sister is a college professor, the younger of my brothers is an engineer, and so, and I'm now I'm an engineer also, but growing up in this family, especially with my sister avid reader just always excelling.

Speaker 2 25:54

Intellectual.

Speaker 1 25:55

Just yeah, an intellectual, and those weren't like. I was good at what I was good at, but I wasn't. I didn't feel like. I never read as ferociously as she did. I didn't even like reading. Read as ferociously as she did, I didn't even like reading, and so I was. When mommy would tell us to read, I would almost stutter because I was. I just felt so much pressure of who I wasn't than who I was, and I know those types of things kind of extended into my adulthood. I won't even say I'll say period.

Speaker 1 26:41

It is something that I constantly have to work at, right, constantly have to work at, because my wiring is to kind of call out things that other people don't want to highlight, right, um, you know, like you're in a business meeting or whatever team meeting and something is the thing that everybody's talking about but nobody wants to talk about it. Well, my wiring is come on, let's talk about it. Right, come on, let's talk about it. Well, my wiring is come on, let's talk about it. Right, come on, let's talk about it. But when you feel like, should I be the one to do that, even though inside it's like, oh my God, why isn't it?

Speaker 2 27:21

It's got to be talked about somebody.

Speaker 1 27:23

And I eventually had to learn to be the one to speak it, because I had to push through the but why do you think you're the one to do it? Why do you? You know who are you to say that, and you're not the smartest one in the room, and you know those things. I had to push through to let my true self come out to say the thing.

Speaker 2 27:45

I feel that way, too, I'm often in those situations, as you can imagine, in the hospitals, as a patient advocate, you know very often, you know you're going up. You may be the only one in the room to say wait a minute. Why are we doing things this way? Right? Or you know, did you ever consider such and such, or to really talk to patients about? Is this something that you want? You know? Do you really?

Speaker 2 28:11

you know what are your feelings about this and whatever you know, and sometimes it's going against the grain because it could lead to them canceling their surgery or reconsidering, or whatever the case may be. I'm just saying that I feel one. I feel that it's my calling, but also, as such, it is my duty to be the advocate and to be patient-centered first. That's why I chose anesthesiology, you know, I think that it was something that I needed to. I had only a brief time to interact with patients, but oh, the importance of that time.

The Art Of Medicine

Speaker 2 28:50

One most people don't understand what anesthesiology is. Many people don't know that we're physicians. And I'll tell you, bar none most people are afraid of anesthesia. They are not afraid of their surgery. Most people are afraid of losing control and not waking back up. Oh, that's the number one. Make sure I wake up is the number one thing that people say to me. You know, I've had a couple of people say you put me close to death and then you bring me back and I'm like, oh hell, no, that's not what happens. So no wonder they're afraid.

Speaker 2 29:32

yeah, yeah, yeah you know it's like no, that's not what happens wow someone asked me just the other day after you put me to sleep, do you leave? I'm like what?

Speaker 1 29:52

And I guess it's not intuitive. Nothing is a dumb question, right, it's not intuitive.

Speaker 2 29:56

But I was like I said, oh no, Every time your heart beats, I'm there to see it. Every breath you take, I'm there to see it, but people don't know you know, yeah, oh, my goodness, we'll do another segment on like preoperative readiness or stuff like that.

Speaker 1 30:13

Yeah, we have to. I mean, we're getting at the age. It was a while ago we did.

Speaker 2 30:16

We're getting at the age where we need a couple more procedures.

Speaker 1 30:20

We need just a yeah. Yeah, we might need a little. Procedures are coming up a little more frequently, yeah colonoscopies and all of the stuff, all the things. All those things, those invasive testing, right, right, right, just to take a look. Yeah, don't do that. Especially, you talk about colonoscopy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 30:43

But anyway, but yeah it's. I don't know and I know to push back when I say, oh, anybody could do what I do. You know you just have to. You know work hard, study hard, put your. You know you really have to clear your life um, put things in your life aside people, friends, family oh, that's all you know aside to make it happen. And then you bring it all back together and people are like what are you smoking?

Speaker 1 31:21

What are you talking about? I'm like just that, just that for 20 years I have to tell you. This is a little bit of an aside, but it's, it's funny. So I spoke to my firstborn this morning and, um, they were asking me something mom, I need, I need some, some a physics brain, can you help me to understand something? And they, they um, said they were working with these substances.

Speaker 1 31:43

Um, one is water-based, one is oil-based and one is silicone-based, Okay, and they were um asking you know why, were asking why they weren't really functioning at the level that they expected. And so I said, definitely there's viscosity and friction involved and heat involved. And as I thought about it from a physics perspective, I was, like you know, it's time to call Auntie Leslie, because this is chemistry.

Speaker 2 32:14

I was thinking that I'm like, this is chemistry. I'm like this is chemistry.

Speaker 1 32:18

This is not heat and mass transfer. It is, but it's going into the realm of chemistry, eh, not my thing, and so expect a call.

Speaker 2 32:27

Someone not.

Speaker 1 32:29

But this idea, oh, all you got to do is this and this. But you're right, I would could never, ever Do this, this, this, this, Do that Because I hate to say it this way, it would rip out my soul to be that.

Speaker 2 32:54

Yeah.

Speaker 1 32:55

And you got to do it this way.

Speaker 2 32:57

You're right about that.

Speaker 1 32:58

And don't forget, you can't forget this part right here. It's got to be exactly. And it is that very thing that I dig and it turns me on.

Speaker 2 33:09

You do, it's like there is predictability to the world, and when there's not, then there's that.

Speaker 1 33:17

Then there's that, but it's like it's.

Speaker 2 33:21

there's a certain order that I I love it.

Speaker 1 33:25

And maybe I'm going to take it back a little bit. Maybe I could do it, but I would hate it. I would hate, there would be zero joy in it for me. There would be zero joy in it. Well, let me say this.

Speaker 2 33:38

What I know about you, why you would not hate it? Because no, no, no, Okay you one Would not hate it because I would hate it. No, no, no. Okay One, you're a flexible person. Yes, Exactly.

Speaker 1 33:49

That doesn't sound all routine to me.

Speaker 2 33:51

Well, no, what I mean is you've heard of the term, the art of medicine. Yeah, I think that you would pull out the non-organizational or regimented parts of the profession.

Speaker 1 34:06

Yeah.

Speaker 2 34:06

And that's what would feed you. Maybe, yeah, you know. So, perhaps, maybe anesthesiology is not for you you know, but some other aspect of medicine, perhaps that's a little more fluid or that can you know. Your personality can be fed in it.

Speaker 1 34:27

I think that you can do it.

Speaker 2 34:27

But you're looking at it in such a rigid way. I like looking at things in a rigid way, Les guess what?

Speaker 1 34:36

What about med school, that part? Whatever I end up doing, I have to go through that part.

Speaker 2 34:45

You do have to get through it. You do, you do no bang up doing I have to go through that. You do have to get lit, you do? You do? No, bang.

Speaker 1 34:51

It's like a four year hazing.

Speaker 2 34:52

It's like a hazing.

Speaker 1 34:53

But what does morning say?

Speaker 2 34:55

Even the longest rope has an end. Yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 1 35:01

But you know what I would be and you don't have to get.

Speaker 2 35:03

A's in medical school.

Speaker 1 35:04

You just have to pass. What would I be using the rope to do? You just have to graduate. I wouldn't be jumping double dutch. I would not.

Speaker 2 35:11

I'd be jumping but it wouldn't be a rope to do. But not double dutch. I hear you, it's not for you. Well, thank God, you know.

Speaker 1 35:20

Yeah.

Speaker 2 35:20

You found it early. Did I and you know what I mean, but yeah, and tell me one more time Anybody, everybody, can't do this.

Speaker 1 35:29

Everybody cannot do it. Okay, everybody cannot do it Because you know, when you were reading off the parts, like you know you have to do this and you have to kind of clear some space in your life and you have to do this and you have to do this, it's like you got to step two and it's like no, no, and then you have to bring it back. No, that's not for everybody.

Speaker 2 35:52

No then you gotta have your son move in with his dad for seven, eight years, then you gotta go on rotations and monique monique has said to me like what do you mean? You work for 36 hours in a row. Like really, what do you mean? And I'm like, literally you go in at this hour and you leave and you wonder what day is it. And how many times have I gone to the parking lot and had no idea where my car was. Wow, it was that long ago. You know it's stolen, that little hoopty I used to drive. I'm sure somebody took it because I parked it right here.

Speaker 2 36:35

And security has driven me around that parking lot so many times. They want to say, like you again, doctor, you again.

Speaker 1 36:42

No, they did not steal your blue Corolla with the milk crate uh, with the powder blue milk crate behind the seat holding it up yes, man, you've come a long way. Baby, come a long way. It's so good to be, to have been on that journey and so many more with you. Yeah, yeah really, really and truly really and truly, anyway, all right, what else? Anything you else you want to share?

Speaker 2 37:12

no, it's just, it feel like you. You just keep putting me in my place, you know, I just like you.

Speaker 1 37:19

You keep keeping me around. You can't have me around and me not be me Like you keep coming back. I think that you know you need to investigate that.

Speaker 2 37:28

Yeah, shoot, okay. Well, I gave you tenure last year so I can't fire you. You know I guess you're in, but you know, honestly, leave some comments about this, because I really think that these feelings and these behaviors and thoughts that we have, that we're talking about, I don't think they're that uncommon.

Speaker 1 37:52

Yeah.

Speaker 2 37:52

You know I love it when you guys come on our websites or go on our YouTube page or whatever, and leave comments and tell us what you think about these things. And tell us what you think about these things Very often. Well, we always answer our comments, but very often it leads us to developing other content and having other conversations, you know as follow-up conversations. So we like that.

Speaker 1 38:16

We do, we do. All right, we're going to bring it in. Wait a minute. What, what? What I'd love for you to mention your book oh, listen, listen, I this, and okay, this is one of the places where I well, you're a coach you're a coach.

Speaker 2 38:39

I've been using your services for free for for decades.

Speaker 1 38:43

I've been honing my services with you, so I'm grateful.

Speaker 2 38:46

So you can't charge me because you weren't licensed. Now you're tenured, that's right, so you know.

Speaker 1 38:51

But no, honestly, you should mention your book because it's a good book, it's an easy read and it's practical and it covers some of these things. You know, but it's.

Speaker 1 39:02

I think, it's helpful, you know, but it's, I think it's helpful, sure, um. So it's an ebook and it's called um. We're too old for this and you know it. It it comes out just like this podcast. It comes out of this um desire I have for living with more joy in my life and sharing that with others. Doing this podcast with my best friend was a joy decision that I made. I had to figure out how to do it. I had to figure out how to set things up so that Leslie could see that it's something that she could do and that she could enjoy, because I know her.

Closing Thoughts And Book Promotion

Speaker 1 39:48

And I know that she would need something more than hey, les, I got an idea, which is the way I operate but I know that people operate differently to kind of get you to understand yourself and then to understand other people, um, and to use some of this knowledge if you, if you desire, to create, um, ways of, of earning joyful, joyfully made money, and so, um, this book kind of encapsulates some of the things that I've I've learned along my journey for for more joy and it's called we're too old for this because, listen, monique is leslie's sister.

Speaker 1 40:33

We mentioned her a few times because a lot because she's one of the.

Speaker 2 40:37

In my head she's one of the most.

Speaker 1 40:39

She's one of these just wise, practical people, and what she always says is there ain't too many shopping days till Christmas, and basically what that means is is for those in our age group, we have lived more of a life than we have left to live and we're too old to delay more joy. And that's what my book is all about. There's a link to it under in the description and if you'd like to get coached by me or even investigated that, you can sign up for a free consult and I'd be happy to speak with you and you can see whether I'm the right fit for you and you get a free copy of my ebook when you schedule time.

Speaker 2 41:23

Anyway, that's it. That's what I wanted you to say.

Speaker 1 41:26

That's it. Thank you, les. Thank you, I appreciate this.

Speaker 2 41:29

So this has been another episode of Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn, brooklyn.