Ep174 5 Ways to See The Legacy You’ve Already Started Building

Legacy can feel like a loaded word, like you need a big house, a perfect family tree, and a fortune to leave behind. We don’t buy that. We’re two 60-something Black women, best friends for almost 50 years, and we’re talking about legacy as something you’re already building right now through your values, your relationships, your stories, and the way you show up in community.

We also shout out a resource we believe in: The Job Liberation Summit for Black Women, co-founded by Dr. Kimani Norrington Sands and Marissa Price. It’s built for Black women navigating layoffs, toxic workplaces, exit strategy planning, financial readiness, and the emotional healing that has to happen alongside liberation. If you’re thinking about freedom, nervous system regulation, and economic autonomy, this belongs on your radar.

Register for The Job Liberation Virtual Summit for Black Women. Prices start at only $97

https://2026jobliberation.heysummit.com/?ac=KmQBDvM5

Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a reframe, and leave a review if our joy journey helps you. After you listen, what do you think your legacy already is?

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Transcript

Welcome And Joy Journey

SPEAKER_02 0:02

Hey Ant. Hey Les, how's it going? It's going well. It's going well. Excellent. Excellent. I'm feeling a little tired. I think all of the all of the movement and moving and stuff is just kind of settling in, and I'm like, ooh. I feel a little a little loopy. But here we are.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

Happy to be here. Well, I'm glad that you're here. I'm happy to be here too. And I'd say welcome to another episode of Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn.

Job Liberation Summit For Black Women

SPEAKER_02 0:36

Hey guys, I'm Angela, and that's Leslie, my best friend of almost 50 years. We are two silly, pre-thinking, 60-something-year-old black women. And we're on a joy journey. We invite you to come along with us, start your own, stop in with us and get some insights and some encouragement and some um new ways of approaching the parts of life that comes at you sideways sometimes. Um listen, before we we're going to be talking about legacy today and um what why we're talking about it and what it means and so on. But before we get started, we wanted to talk to you about a um job liberation summit that is coming up on May 1st. It is um co-founded by a friend of our podcast, Dr. Kimani Noratin Sands. This is their third annual summit. And this is a summit that addresses um black women who for various reasons, either on their own or through um layoffs or reaching a point where the job has become so toxic that you know that it's time to set up an exit strategy. Um so it it is a summit which talks about financial readiness and how to prepare that exit strategy and things like that, but it also talks about some of the emotional, the deeply emotional um effects of being in environments long term that can have such a detrimental effect to our mental health. Sure. Um it's called the let me make sure I get this right, Les. I think it's the Job Liberation Summit for Black Women. That is the full title. And um they were in a recent MSN article. Leslie's gonna read a little a little bit about that. So you get a full grasp of what the summit is all about. Um, and we will have links in the episode notes where you can sign up. We are affiliates because this is something that we believe in. Um we think it's vital.

SPEAKER_00 3:24

We think it's a vital resource for people who have been in these situations like many of us have, and often we feel stuck and don't know the next steps to take. So Dr. Norrington Sands and her co-founder um Marissa Price have put together, and this is the third annual summit, because they've gone through the steps and they've created programs and put together resources and really hold your can hold your hand through such a difficult emotionally uh and financial time. So um we're actually going to have um Dr. Norrington Sands and Ms. Price on to talk more about it and give some more details about it. But um we wanted to just let you know now that this is coming up and we're gonna, of course, include links and things like that. But I just want to give you a little bit more information um about the virtual summit um from a really well-written article in um an MSN article. The summit was built to address the practical and the personal, the financial and the emotional, the exit strategy and the healing that has to happen alongside it. Now, in its third year, it was co-founded by Dr. Kimani Norrington Sands, a licensed clinical psychologist based in Los Angeles, and Marissa Price, MSWLSW, a liberatory life coach and trauma-informed facilitator, whose work centers nervous system regulation, racial trauma awareness, and economic autonomy for black women and femmes.

Why We Are Writing Legacy

SPEAKER_02 5:24

There we go. If this is for you or someone you know, please go ahead and sign up. We will have links in the episode notes, as I mentioned, and we'll be talking more about this um in the upcoming weeks. Okay. So Leslie and I have been approached to um do some writing to talk about our lives. Actually writing it down, writing it down, not just talking about it. And the general um uh uh topic area is legacy. So as she and I are kind of struggling with picking what we're going to write about, um, and really kind of understanding what legacy is, we we started to um research a little bit. What it what is legacy?

SPEAKER_00 6:19

What what help, help, help listen? I'm sitting here laughing because you guys probably can't notice the beads of sweat, like I'm getting misty because I'm sitting here. Whenever I hear about like legacy and what you leave and what people think of me and things like that, I'm like, I can't, I got nothing. I got nothing. I got nothing, you know?

SPEAKER_02 6:48

It's no, I got a lot. That's my thing. I have too many things that I think is possibilities. Leslie thinks a few and sweats. I think, oh my God, how do I do it? And sweat on the side. We both we both sweat. No, no, no, we both sweat. I wish I only had a few so that it wouldn't be that hard to pick.

SPEAKER_00 7:10

But but I tell you, what I typically do is I'm like, Ang, what do you think of me? Okay, what could my legacy be? You know? Do this for me. I'm not leaving any legacy. Like anybody can do the things that I do and all this stuff, you know. It's like, I don't know, but you know, I now I'm tasked with writing it down. So let's talk about legacy. Yeah. So tell tell it tell the people here. I'm using some of these tools to put myself in the mindset of that. And when you come, when you become my age, 64 years old, you know, I hope that I've at least begun to cultivate my legacy. You know, I don't want to start today, you know, but but I think that there are things and and little nuggets that I've already implanted that might be contributing to to a bigger legacy.

Redefining Legacy Beyond Money

SPEAKER_02 8:07

It's not it's not a little. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Because that that is that is some of what we want to change understanding around, right? Is that legacy is either um um money or or or or things or that type of thing. And the idea that legacy is something that you kind of start, okay. Now I'm gonna start my legacy. But right now, what we wanna share with you is that you have very likely have already begun to establish a legacy, right? You're like, and so Leslie's gonna kind of read through some of these things. And I I would love for you to listen, not you, Leslie, you all of you, to to really kind of think about as we go through these these um subcategories, to think about what have you already done that you can then maybe with intention add to, right? To really kind of be mindful of how you want to make it even more pronounced. Um but you're not starting at zero. Okay, you're not starting at zero. Trust that. Okay, go ahead, Les. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 9:28

So, what it says, I've asked, what are the different ways to think about legacy? Legacy is best understood as the lasting impact of your life, extending beyond material wealth to include values, relationships, and stories.

SPEAKER_01 9:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 9:48

It is the intentional cultivation of how you're remembered and the influence you leave on future generations. So here are some five, the five key um um perspectives that we are gonna consider. One, values and character legacy, passing down the principles, faith, resilience, and life lessons. What you got?

SPEAKER_02 10:15

What what I got, what I got now. Well, I think one of the things, and the podcast is probably gonna show up a lot in this list, but it is. It is a legacy, it's something that is going it's going to survive us all these recordings that we've done, all these topics that we've covered, all these ways that we were vulnerable, um, all these ways that we showed um what taking risks look like, um what doing hard things or being afraid or those types of things look like. Um, and so I think this podcast is a part of our legacy. Um yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:13

Okay. All right, and that's true. I know in a previous episode we've mentioned that we realize that this podcast will be uh a legacy um for us. But you know, in terms of they say um passing down resilience in life lessons, you know, and I've mentioned before that one of the reasons that I've I went to medical school at age 36, started medical school, was in order to pass and exemplify the life lesson that one, it's never too late to start living your dream dream and and and embracing a joyful existence. But also I really as a single parent at the time, I really wanted to model for Omari what the um what hard work and stick to this could look like. And I didn't I wasn't thinking at the time of success per se. I was showing him and others around me of what the attempt and to put you all into it can look like.

SPEAKER_02 12:28

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 12:29

So I think that would be um uh one of my legacies, perhaps, is uh, you know, my story and how I um jumped into this abyss and have come out um so happy. On the other side, you know, on the other side. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:47

Yeah, I think now that you've mentioned that, one would be my decision to leave corporate. Um because one of the main reasons why I did it was um I didn't like the idea that other people, many of them I didn't particularly care for, were making these decisions about my life, these huge decisions about my life. And it felt powerful to me to say, no, you don't. I do. I get I get to do that. Yeah, and I get to show my children that they can um earn money in various ways and hybrid how they and hybrid and hybrid how they learn money. They could work for someone else and they could do other things, they could do this other thing and not work. Um, and so yeah, that was that was um a deliberate decision that I made.

Relationships As A Living Legacy

SPEAKER_00 13:48

So I think I like that you said that because in America we often think there's one path toward quote unquote success. And when we veer away from that path or um or not necessarily follow what the prescribed path is to success and find joy and success, I think that's a great legacy, you know? I think that's a great mo model for what um a life can be. Yep. You know, so I like it, I like it.

SPEAKER_02 14:25

Okay, I like it, I like it. Okay, so we've got so so we've got one idea so far.

SPEAKER_00 14:33

All right, this second one emotional and relationship legacy the memories, love, time you share with others, and the presence you share with others.

SPEAKER_01 14:49

Okay. I got that. Okay, can you go first? I'm always there.

SPEAKER_02 14:56

No matter, no matter how far I try to run, you're always there. No, what do you mean? You're always there.

SPEAKER_00 15:02

I'm not gonna actually speak that say about me right now, but let me tell you something about a legacy that you leave in that area. Because and I've told you this before. Every single time I interact with you, you give me a hundred percent, it seems, of your attention. And I know that that's not possible. But to give me a hundred percent, because you're always doing things, and we talk all the all the time. So it's impossible. But I always feel like you you never rush me. You always sit and listen. And I notice when I overhear you speaking to the kids who are no longer kids, you do the same with them. You really focus and give people your attention um when you interact with them. And I think that's that's that's a legacy. That's awesome. Thanks, Les. I've told you that before. You always say, You say, like, is there anything else? And I know you're busy.

SPEAKER_01 16:04

But I'm like, uh yeah, let's just sit and let me figure it out. Let me just sit and come over. Wait, give me a second, give me a 10 10 minutes, let me see what I can come up with.

SPEAKER_00 16:13

I do. So I think that's something that you, you know, you always make time for me.

SPEAKER_02 16:17

Oh, I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_00 16:19

Um and for me, I think my my legacy in that regard is that I'm very expressive about loving and caring for people. You know, one of my love languages, like acts of kindness. So, you know, I really um shower that on people that I care and love. So I think that people will think that I've been um generous with my attention and my love for them.

SPEAKER_02 16:52

Quick, quick, quick uh example of that. Um what I don't do well is sending the birthday cards to God and country, send the happy anniversary, the thinking about you, the the um the um uh um graduation, all the things. Leslie, number one, has a card for everything, and the card arrives on time. On the day or the days before they don't change.

SPEAKER_01 17:33

Your birthday has been the same for 63 years. But it's like what in the world?

SPEAKER_02 17:42

If my ego wasn't intact, I'd be like, damn, I'm just half the person that you are because that's it's not my shit. It's just nothing. It's not my jam. It's not my jam. When you call me though, I'm there for you. But exactly. Not with a card, though.

SPEAKER_01 17:58

I can't you'll get it a month later.

SPEAKER_00 18:07

Oh my goodness. And and it's funny that you mentioned cards because we're gonna talk about the legacy of letter writing and green. I can't wait to talk about it. That's gonna be we've been talking about this a while, but it's taken us a while to compile and get all the pay because we want to do it properly. We'll do that. We've got something to say about that.

SPEAKER_02 18:25

It's gonna be good. The other thing that I thought about in this category of um legacy is um, you know, families that always gather the the, and it doesn't have to be the family reunion, but I'm gonna say family reunion because family reunions are not a diasporic um African diasporic thing, as far as I can see. It's an American, it's a black American thing. The the idea of coming together family um on a regular basis and people from far and wide and all of the planning around it and so on, it's not something, at least it's definitely not something in the Jamaican culture. And I believe I've been told that it comes from the legacy of enslavement and bondage in America and and people just being spread all over the South, and then this the reunion um uh um comes out of this need to come back together, to reconnect, right? And and that has become a um uh um what's the word I'm looking for, Les? That has become a tradition um that is is expressed in in um African Americans. Um and that to me is a part of of legacy. That's a beautiful part of legacy that that I don't have in my culture, but I love to be a part of other people's family reunions. It's just the sweetest thing to me.

Money And Heirlooms In Context

SPEAKER_00 20:11

Yeah, yeah. Generations get together and yeah, I like that. Yeah, okay, let's move. Okay. The third one: tangible and financial legacy. That's what I think most people think of first when we think about legacy. Tangible assets, heirlooms, or charitable donations left through a structured will or trust or something like that.

SPEAKER_01 20:38

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 20:39

Yeah, and I think that's a good idea.

SPEAKER_00 20:42

Believe it or not, it's the most common thing I think that people would think of first when they think of legacy, but I think it might be the least important. Yeah. You know, we all hear about stories where grandma, auntie, mom, or whatever, they leave you a house or whatever. People may lose the house or whatever, or they may not have that emotional connection to those things. You know, memories are sometimes so much more important than the tangible things.

SPEAKER_02 21:10

Yeah, I think so. I think so. Keep me in the will.

SPEAKER_01 21:15

Don't don't mistake any. I am not abdicating anything. Don't give my portion to anybody. I need my stuff. And I will appreciate it. But what we're saying is what I mean is going. Let me restate that exactly. What I mean is, if you can't do that, you have other things to do.

SPEAKER_02 21:48

Yes. But yes, put it in its place. Don't kick it to the curb. Okay. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 21:56

I guess we can go on from that. That's pretty self explanatory. I think so. Give me my stuff. I just, you know, I could see someone saying, Leslie said, I heard her say. She wasn't that wasn't that important to us.

SPEAKER_01 22:17

You know, it's like she'd rather have the China, but this is important.

SPEAKER_00 22:26

Life stories and narratives. Sharing your family history, lessons learned, and personal journey.

unknown 22:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:36

Such as through journaling or creating a family tree.

SPEAKER_02 22:40

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 22:41

You know, I'm the creator of the of our family tree. And it goes back to the late 1700s.

SPEAKER_02 22:49

That is incredible.

SPEAKER_00 22:51

I have it uh on ancestry.com. Wow. And it goes in so many branches, but my earliest one is the late 1700s. And they're all from America. Wow. All those generations.

SPEAKER_02 23:06

That's incredible. Isn't it? You know, in this season that I'm in and that my partner's in, and kind of decluttering and also making decisions about important things. Um whether um they should be kept, and then where should they be kept, right? And so, for example, if you have um artifacts that are from your children's childhood, if they're adults now, is it time to give it to them? Right? Or do you keep it? Are are you the keeper of those things? Or are you talking about it?

SPEAKER_00 23:45

Uh the elders are the keepers of those things. Especially if the younger people don't appreciate them as much as you do.

SPEAKER_02 23:54

Right, right. But but here's the thing: how do they develop an appreciation if they're not ever living with these things? Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 24:02

Oh, that's a good point. You gotta see it over and over and over every time you open the dusty cabinet. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:10

There's your cabinet, right? Or you or or you have a memory and you can go and and find the thing instead of asking the parent where's it.

SPEAKER_00 24:21

I think you know what? That's a smart idea. In fact, I gave thank you for sending Omari's middle school yearbook. I gave it to him and he was looking through it, and he says, Mom, look. I squeeze at some of these teachers I scratched out with ink over their faces. No. That just goes to show what kind of student he was.

SPEAKER_01 24:43

No, that tells me what kind of teacher they were. What are you talking about? No, no, it was him.

SPEAKER_02 24:49

Because I remember there was one of them who kept referring to him as if he was female and he didn't correct them. Oh, that yes.

SPEAKER_00 25:00

It was people over in Massachusetts, they never saw a boy with the wrong hair. Oh my God, I haven't remembered that in well. But anyway, um, but you're right. Like, I love like the stories, like you all know that I grew up with my great-grandparents, two of my great-grandparents. And I would talk to them about the stories of like when you were around the during the depression and this, and one of my um grandfathers was a longshoreman, and and you know, it's like it's the stories, but we don't get together enough and talk about when I was a kid, and I'm gonna start doing that more. I'm really gonna start doing that more.

Archiving Memories In A Digital Age

SPEAKER_02 25:41

I'll tell you something that my firstborn um suggested to me because they're no they know I'm going through my things, and um they were like, Mom, why don't you put it in an archive? Okay, yeah, same same thing. Okay, well, that's a thing. There are there are organizations that collect our family stories. Um yes, there are, and you can you can look into this for in your state. I know that, yes, a few months ago I attended an event with with um a large group of of friends, and one of them was planning their family reunion, and she talked about how this suitcase of things had passed on from her great-grandmother to her grandmother to her mother, and now it was in her possession. She's the whole thing. And she didn't know what really to do with it. Well, chime chiming in is someone else who says, Oh, what I did is, and she basically, there are museums that actually, that actually, yes, I wish I knew the name. I think it's I think it's different in different states. Um, it might even have been um a part of the Smithsonian, where they will take your things and preserve them. Okay, so this is for you to individually look into. I'm saying that this exists. Okay. And um the other thing that um Kai told me was that um because we are so we don't we don't recognize these things as being valuable to anyone else outside of us, that they are part of a story of our people.

SPEAKER_00 27:45

And and that's why we gotta still talk about stuff. Like I was I remember hearing years ago that the fact that we take so many digital pictures has changed the whole arc of passing down stories and pictures because I have the yellowed photographs, I even have family photographs on tin.

SPEAKER_01 28:08

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 28:08

Yeah. And the old photographs that are bending and on very thick cardboard and black and white or sepia toned and yeah, that are ripped up and this and that, and you know, and and we don't have a lot of the um photographs and stuff of the baby pictures and stuff, because all of that is in digital form.

SPEAKER_02 28:29

Yeah. So think about that. If there's gonna be this gap then in the family story, if we have all this, it's like this, and then it's like saying that there was this lady named Leslie.

SPEAKER_00 28:44

There's no record of her.

SPEAKER_02 28:45

There's no record of her. There's no record of her. So investigate this. This is an option and investigate what's available in your state, but um, but know that it's there. That's what I'm telling you is that these these things exist. There could there could be um specific um um identifiers that you have, being a woman, being a black woman, being a queer woman, being a, you know, that there may be organizations that are specific to those things. Yes, to your demographics. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 29:17

But please check it out because I know, I know, yes. Jesse would know about this. She's an anthropologist.

SPEAKER_02 29:25

Yeah, yeah. This is this is her. This is her.

Service Mentorship And Community Impact

SPEAKER_00 29:27

This is her. Okay. This is her. The last one. This is also like a popular one. I think this would be number two. Service and community impact. So it's not just you, you are part of a whole community. Right. The positive change or mentorship you provide. You talking anybody, you helping anybody out? You know, are you setting an example in your profession, in your family? You know, I walk that line very often as one of the uh as a black female physician, you know, there's not a whole lot of us. We're kind of zebras in this um in the country as a whole. So um I do my best to um talk about issues and um things that are germane to my who I am and and what I do. But um, but yeah, it's so funny because I was at a um not related to being a physician, but I was at a luncheon. This is um organ donate organ donation awareness month, April, and you all know that I'm an organ donor. I went to an appreciation luncheon at um the medical center where I donated, and um one of the things that I talked to them um mentioned was that how important it is to speak about things. We often um believe that our lives are so personal and our stories are not important, or whether or not they are important. They don't have to be these grand gestures or what have you, but I talk, I mentioned how I often speak to my patients about being an organ donor. Or I wear bumpers, I have bumper stickers on my car. I'm an organ donor. Yes. I, you know, so I to stir up conversations about things, you know, and I think that that's a legacy.

SPEAKER_01 31:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:25

Um, you know, I've had nurses and people say, like, oh, I know you're an organ donor. Would you mind talking to someone about this? You know, so if we spend more time, less time like this, and more time really interacting and speaking to people, I think that's also contributing to a legacy.

SPEAKER_02 31:44

Yeah, I agree. I agree. You may um you may have a particular um uh I I know someone who loves to teach adults how to read. Right. And and that's kind of something that they have um started doing with intention, finding out where they can volunteer and do that. You may have been doing it just, you know, without any kind of formal structure. Again, what we're saying is and what we're hoping that kind of bringing out these different areas will um will surface for you is how your legacy has already begun. Right. Right. Um and to encourage you to to think of it maybe with more intention around how you might um grow it or how you might um kind of document it or in some way um elevate the way that you have been thinking about it, right?

SPEAKER_01 32:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:45

Um, you know, talking to your grandchildren more. I remember one of my nieces um uh did uh created a documentary about my mother. My mother is um was born in Cuba and went to Jamaica at a very early age, and she lived this full life. Well, she had been talking to all of us about her life in Cuba and the different things that the family was involved with and their trip to Jamaica on the boat and all the things, and to hear her grandchildren, some who, you know, um, because lived in different states or whatever, wasn't around her a lot, they all knew the story. They all knew the story. And so when they were interviewed, it was it was incredible. And are we doing that? Are we passing on these stories? Or have we this is kind of we are the the ones in this digital age and in this age where people live so far away from each other, maybe even in different parts of the world. Um, and it's a real opportunity to think about legacy and um make it something that is more front and center.

Closing Thoughts And Summit Reminder

SPEAKER_00 34:09

Um so so with Leslie and I'm gonna be like, And don't be like me thinking like I ain't got legacy. I don't got nothing. Tell me what to say, Ange. You know.

SPEAKER_02 34:21

Well, we hope you've gotten some ideas. We've certainly gotten some. Now that we now we have to decide, we have to pick. We'll tell you more about this. It's just kind of early, early stages, but we'll tell you more about this um this new commitment that we've made, and we will be doing it, and we do have deadlines and all of that, and we'll share it with you.

SPEAKER_00 34:42

Already, I've missed a few deadlines. It's okay. I gotta get I gotta get it.

SPEAKER_02 34:46

It's okay. Not deadlines, just meetings you've missed. You haven't missed any deadlines yet.

SPEAKER_00 34:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 34:51

You're gonna fire me.

SPEAKER_01 34:52

You know, I'm gonna help you. You know what? You, Les, take you and your legacy.

SPEAKER_00 34:58

Get the hell out. But I appreciate that I'm being asked and I'm gonna get on it. Yes, you are. Oh, make sure. And you guys too. I mean, think about it. You know, I think it's a fun thing. It's it's it's something, you know, to start thinking about your life at any age, you know, because it also can propel your behavior going forward. It can bring you some recognition, like, hey, wait a minute. I've been, you know, people know me already, you know. Yes, that's right. So I think that would be good. That's it. All right. All right. And don't forget, um, as we said, we're going to leave the link for the third annual um job liberation virtual summit. Uh it's a Black Burke uh summit for black women, yes. And it's a uh a virtual summit. We're gonna leave the links, it's timely, and you'll leave elevated with a plan.

SPEAKER_02 35:56

Okay. With your life saved, I'm gonna say that because I know personally the emotional toil of being in these corporate settings where um you start to really doubt your um your value. You start to really doubt um, you know, you you think all the credentials like what what do do don't they know who I am?

SPEAKER_00 36:26

Yeah, um they know who I am. The summit is a good thing. It's like yes, they know.

SPEAKER_02 36:30

Yes, but yeah. Um anyway, we will leave the links and thank you so much. We hope you enjoyed this this conversation.

SPEAKER_00 36:39

Yes. So this has been another episode of Black Boomer Festies from Brooklyn, Brooklyn.