Ep176 Write our story? We said yes!

We’ve talked for years about writing our story, but talking is safe (and cheap) and the blank page is not. This time we’re doing it: we’re each contributing to a chapter in Kim Coles’ latest anthology Legacy GIFTs, a project built around gratitude, intention, forgiveness, triumphs, and self-love. And once we say it out loud, there’s no hiding from the work of putting pen to paper.

We get honest about what writing feels like in real life, especially when you don’t think of yourself as “a writer.” Leslie shares why drafting can feel like a chore, how intimidating it is to be asked to contribute to a best-selling author’s book, and the very real nerves that show up right before feedback. Angella talks about the power of a consistent writing practice, pacing for a 3,500-word deadline, and why accountability can be both loving and ruthless at the same time.

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Transcript

Playful Start And Introductions

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Hey Ange. Hey Les. How's it going? We did a little cut-up before we started recording, but you know, that's typical of us. We gotta get in the mood. Get in the mood. As usual.

SPEAKER_02 0:13

Just just just um Leslie shenanigans.

SPEAKER_00 0:18

I admit. I I accept it freely.

SPEAKER_02 0:21

Why are you bouncing? You're bouncing. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 0:24

Because I'm excited. I'm sick. I'm happy to see you, Polly. Welcome to another episode of Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn.

SPEAKER_02 0:32

Hey, folks, it's us again. I'm Angel, and that's Leslie, my best friend of almost 50 years. We're gonna be saying 50. We keep saying that. We're we're inching up. We're getting up. Um, we are two free-thinking black women, and we're in our 60s, and we are seeking out all the joyful things that life has to offer. And we invite you to join us, we invite you to start your journey if you haven't already. And we're hoping that um we are inspiring and educating and um uh funny. Just yeah, funny. We are funny. We well, Leslie's funny. I I I just laugh a lot, um, and yeah, invite you to laugh along with me. Um, listen, so we decided to do something that we've been talking about for a long time. Wait a minute. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

You decided as usual. Let's tell the truth. Here's how our relationship works.

SPEAKER_02 1:42

Let's tell the truth of Shane.

Writing Their Story At Last

SPEAKER_00 1:44

Here's how our relationship, our 50-year relationship worked. Oh boy. Ange comes up with the big ideas, and then I'm like, well, maybe. And then I kind of like slide into it. So tell them to it. Let's talk about what you're getting me into this time.

SPEAKER_02 2:05

So we have we have been talking about writing our story. Um, individually, at some point, maybe we'll do something together, but there are aspects of the life that we've lived that we have talked about for years, actually writing. And so one of our dear friends and friends of the show, Kim Coles, has a um an anthology that she's working on with uh a few authors, and we will be writing each a chapter in the anthology. It's called Legacy GIFs, and GIFs is an acronym that stands for gratitude, intention, forgiveness, triumphs, and self-love. And so each of our stories will align to one of those. And um we're really excited because we get to share more of um what has really been behind our journey. We do obviously share some of it here, but writing about it allows us to go much deeper and in some ways much more scandalous than we than we are willing to share through this vehicle. So we are doing this, and um, I'm so proud of Leslie because I write with with a level of ease I, you know, I just do. I you guys probably remember I had a morning writing practice every morning at eight. I would wake up and just just write um three pages before before I stopped. And Leslie, on the other hand, not so much. It's not her thing. It's not her thing. You know why? Because she, yeah, because she's like, I don't, I don't, what, I don't have anything to say. I don't do anything special.

The Invite That Changed Everything

SPEAKER_00 4:16

What what and and and writing? But you decided to do it. I was a science head, I was not an English or writer head. So writing to me, I think, feels more like a chore on obligation. And I find that after I've produced something, like I remember writing my master's thesis, but you know, I think the quality is there, but it just takes so much of it to get me going. So Okay. So why did you say yes? Listen, listen, a couple of weeks ago, I get this phone call. You know, all these random phone calls, they they change my life, actually. So I get this phone call, and it's my dear friend Kim, right? And I'm like, hey girl, hey, what's up? And she's like, Les. No, she always says paging Dr. Poozer, paging Dr. Poozer, O say tuto. That's how she refers to me. So anyway, um, she's like, I'm putting out another book, and I really want you to contribute a chapter in the book. And I'm like, are you sure you call the right number? Wait a minute, wait a minute. And then and she's like, you have a great story, you have a lot to say, and I think you would be inspiring. And I'm like, okay, okay, I can do this, I can do this. So I know that Ange was also asked to do this, and I'm like, okay, this is gonna be great, this is gonna be great. And I'm like, what the hell? How am I ever gonna do? All right, what you gonna do now? Let me just let me just say when I went to have my first meeting with Kim recently to discuss, you know, what I've been writing, and we're required to write about 3,500 words, right? Um and I wrote my first part of it, and I got to. I'm like, okay, word count. 200. Wait, I was all excited. I've written 200 words.

Word Counts And Accountability Energy

SPEAKER_02 6:34

But wait, so Leslie calls me the other day, right? Um, and she says, okay, Edge, Edge, how many words you got?

SPEAKER_00 6:45

And I'm like, No, wait, I said, I'm your I'm your writing accountability partner.

SPEAKER_02 6:51

Yeah, but even then she wants to compete with. I'm very competitive. She's the most ridiculous thing in the world.

SPEAKER_00 6:58

I could I could care less. Less than that. And then wait a minute, and then I forget who I'm challenging because this lady has the writing practice. So I'm like, I'm the novice here. And I said, I got 200 words. How many you got? She's like, she said, I'm almost done. Say that.

SPEAKER_02 7:19

I'm I'm I'm well on my way. I'll say that. But I said, lads, I want you to win. So you challenging me, right? It just it just doesn't win.

SPEAKER_00 7:30

I want you to have the win. And I'm like, well, damn, where's the challenge? And then there's no competition here.

SPEAKER_02 7:39

She calls me up all giddy. Okay, and she probably had a good little writing spell. And I didn't get my 200 words. Oh my goodness. Yeah. So um, we're not gonna share at this point what our chapters are about. Maybe we'll reveal it a little later on. And we're hoping that we have um we can have Kim on soon because she's she's doing she's doing a lot, but um, I think she's gonna be able to join us in in the next couple of weeks. And um, but I will say that just what I know about what Leslie started to write and what I've started to write, it's um it's a level of openness that we've decided to um to lean into because we want it to be um we want it to be something that's uh really of value to our readers. And so one of the things that um Kim has asked all of the um authors, the co-authors to do is to think about the person reading the book and lean into what that person may want from us, right? How much and um just just how deeply we share our story, think about the person reading and what is that person um uh compelling us to share with them.

Going Deeper For The Reader

SPEAKER_00 9:17

Yeah. And so I tell you, it's it's really something. Okay, let me just relay my experience. So I did write a bit more than the 200 words. So now I'm about to have my first sit-down with Kim about it and what my, you know, organization is and what I'm gonna be talking about. And I was so nervous. I felt like I thought that she was gonna judge me. I mean, here I knew I've known Kim nearly 50 years, and this is one of my best friends, and I'm sitting here like so nervous, and I'm like, now I gotta reveal, you know, because I was very, I went deep and I was revealing some things that were emotional. My stomach started, like in the last 15 minutes before the meeting, my stomach started rumbling. And by the time we got face to face or on Zoom, I started crying.

SPEAKER_02 10:18

It's not funny. And I forgot.

SPEAKER_00 10:21

So when I started crying, she started crying. Oh no, so we spent the first five minutes like laughing at ourselves and wiping tears. And I'm like, I just had to release that because I really was, you know, like nervous. I felt like judgment, I was a little uncomfortable. I was even saying things, you know, reading things that she had never heard before. You know, so um, and then I mentioned my dog, and then I started missing the dog. And it was like, Les, pull yourself together. Come on, man.

Tears And Catharsis In Coaching

SPEAKER_02 11:01

Yeah, I think that that is what is beautiful about introspection and um just bringing up some of the things that um, you know, we we think we have already passed through and gotten all of the learning and all of the whatever God has for us through it. But when we slow down and think about it again, it can just like just like that kind of bring all of those emotions back. Um, are you feeling better about the writing process now? First of all, um, Kim and her team um give Unbelievable, they give a lot of support, a lot of support in this process. And we are going to um, I think they're still accepting um co-authors in the program. We'll get some more details on that. Maybe um when Kim comes on, she can share that. But if if you're ever going to start writing a chapter, um, start writing your story, this would be a great place to um jump in because there is so much support. As Kim Um Les mentioned, you get to meet with Kim. She's she's a coach through it all. Um, she's the one that does the editing and um gives tips and all of that. And there's a uh a structure of a great support team.

SPEAKER_00 12:29

Yeah, it's like a post um structure, a marketing team with a whole cadre of people that are here for our success in this endeavor. And that's how I felt um each time that I've met with the team, I felt that very much supported, and that's why I was um happy that I agreed to do this.

SPEAKER_01 12:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:53

Um the other thing is that she kind of warned us that this would happen, but there was a great catharsis in writing all of this, and I think that's where some of the emotion came from. We in our podcast, we endeavor not to stay on the surface, or I should say, and she pushes me not to stay on the surface. Because then why are we here? But you know, in this, you know, I had to think about things that I buried a little bit, you know, go to go back to really think about origins of stuff. I really want to bring a real, um, I've chosen um the T in the triumph. I really wanted to express a triumphant part of my life, you know, and hoping to inspire other people um to follow my lead. Perhaps they were stuck in situations where I've seen myself stuck.

Support That Makes Writing Possible

SPEAKER_02 14:00

Yeah. Yeah, my word is intention. And so I'm really kind of focused on the points in my life where I really, really, really had to set the intention for what would come next and some of the um kind of mountains I had to climb, but also some of the times when I slipped all the way back to the bottom of the hill and um had to kind of check myself and and start the climb again. So um, yeah, it's it's um I think that at the end of the day, it's it's a gift, pun intended, no pun intended, to ourselves, right? To to do this kind of exploratory work. And um I know because writing is is something that I enjoy doing, that you're gonna get so many rewards from it that you never imagined. Because we're just kind of in the beginning of this. There are gonna have to be edits and some rewrites and things like that, but I think it's it's going to be chef's kiss, and you're gonna be like, oh my gosh, I did it again.

SPEAKER_00 15:18

Wow, I took the leap, and here I am. And and that's what it is so often, and you're like, you see things in me that I don't see in myself. And you so often, you know, you big me up and you're like, Les, big up this. What are you talking about? Um and by Kim asking me to participate in this um writing, she too, you know, she too sees something. She has always told me about how proud he is of the life that I'm living and the things that I've done and all of this. And um, and she really wants to bring that to the public. But I'm like, what? This is not, you know. But anybody could do this, not anybody could do this, you know. Um, and this is Kim's fourth anthology. Yeah. You know, she is a best-selling author of her previous um anthologies, and so well received. So I'm so glad to get on board. And I'm gonna say, if you think I can do this, if she thinks I, I mean, I guess you guys should know, right? I guess we do.

SPEAKER_02 16:37

I guess we do.

SPEAKER_00 16:39

Very proud of you, and um, you know, no competition, but I'm gonna You're gonna you're gonna mop the floor with wipe the floor with you. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 16:49

Why don't you think of that analogy?

Choosing Triumph And Intention

SPEAKER_00 16:51

That's exactly because it could have been beat the pants off me, but but wipe the floor with me. That's a funnier thing. Maybe you'll use my head as a mop, you know.

SPEAKER_02 17:03

No, so we're gonna be talking a little bit more about it, and of course.

SPEAKER_00 17:07

Yeah, you guys are gonna kind of hear about my. I can't wait. Uh, well, actually, I can when it goes like for the first real edit, and it's gonna come back like a teacher with a red pen, and it's like, what the heck? That that reminds me, um, my sister and I, we were both about to graduate with our master's degrees at the same time. And we were in the same thesis, thesis class, and our kids were young at the time, so we would be at each other's homes all night long, typing and editing each other's papers and stuff. And this just reminded me we were like on tight deadlines, and um, so one of us was typing while the other was like, we would be helping each other type out. I just remember like you're up all night, you're tired, you have to work in the next in the morning and all. And we one time we reread it, and it was like, what is this gibberish? Either we like left something out, or we and we can't you can't turn this in. It was like it almost seemed like somebody fell asleep on the keyboard. Oh no, no, no, no, no. Those were the old days. Yeah, this would be a different experience.

Boundaries And The Big Reveal Plan

SPEAKER_02 18:38

Um, yeah, so we wanted to share that with you guys and um stay tuned. By the way, we're not gonna read read each other's um work until at the end. Like, I know that there are some things in my story that I didn't know that. Okay, I'm not interested in me seeing or my story. No, I don't want that because I don't want to like impose any additional pressure or you know, what I just just just do your thing, Les.

SPEAKER_00 19:12

I think that would be I think that's a good idea. I kind of was gonna ask you what you were gonna what you were writing and all of that, but you know, I should it should be a big reveal to each of us. It will. That will be fun, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

Okay, that's it. That's what we got for you guys today. Stay tuned, we will keep you posted. All right, Les.

SPEAKER_00 19:33

Pray for me.

SPEAKER_02 19:37

She'll be fine.

Finding Time And A Writing Routine

SPEAKER_00 19:39

Because the other thing, and here's here's I just wanted to say it's challenging for me. Um, my schedule is pretty busy. And what I found, I've been carrying my laptop around, but this is not work you can do while multitasking. No, no, no. It's really not. This is work that you really kind of need to sit with yourself. Yeah. I've chosen to get up early in the morning to do my writing. Because by the evening I'm busy, I'm catching up, and I'm tired. But I already wake up at 4 30 in the morning, many most mornings, because I go work out at 5. So I'm wondering like when, you know, if when can I add an hour to that morning? That's like a 3:30 a.m. morning, you know? Yeah, that's like medical school days or so. So I don't know if I still have that in me. So I'm still trying to find the right setting and niche to really sit down and write, but it can't be while I'm multitasking and trying to do other things. I found that that's not, there's nothing, it's not flowing.

SPEAKER_02 20:53

No, I um as you as you well, I um mentioned to the group, I asked whether people were interested in doing a co-working. So get on the phone, mute, and just just write for an hour. So I've started doing that every morning. I wake up and I actually write for two hours each morning. And um, that is working for me because I, you know, I get some full thoughts out, um, and I'm pacing myself how many words I need to write minimum um before the deadline. And so I'm I'm definitely on track. So that's working for me. That's working for me. So yeah, I know. Okay. We have different ways, Les, don't you?

SPEAKER_00 21:42

And and it's a level of discipline that I've had in the past. I need to get that back, you know. Um wish me luck, guys.

SPEAKER_02 21:57

Sweaty, sweat they, sweat they.

SPEAKER_00 21:59

Okay.