Feminine Legacy Podcast With Jacqueline Hyacinth
Welcome to the feminine legacy podcast. This is an evolutionary platform where we gather to share our stories and wisdom, with the intent to preserve the sacred, and create meaningful legacies to impact future generations. Through live transmissions and conscious conversations we bring light into the darkness and lean into the mystery delving into topics include: womb wisdom, ancestral medicine, spiritual healing, rites of passage, feminine leadership and embodiment, sex, birth, death and so much more ... The future is now! Dream with us...
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Feminine Legacy Podcast With Jacqueline Hyacinth
Episode 50 ~ Facing Mortality & Navigating Death ~ Facilitating Freedom Through Transition
How do you navigate the labyrinth of loss and grief with grace? In this heartfelt episode of the Feminine Legacy Podcast, I recount the poignant journey of losing my father at a tender age and the subsequent deaths of dear friends and family. Our conversation shifts the focus from personal grief to the spiritual responsibility of supporting loved ones in their transition, highlighting the importance of grounding oneself and recognizing the profound spiritual processes at play. This episode is a gentle reminder of the initial steps one should take when a loved one passes away, encouraging a conscious and compassionate approach to death.
We also explore the rich cultural dimensions of death, delving into the ancient role of "midwives of death" who guided souls through their final journey. The discussion points to the harmful impact of shielding children from death, underscoring the need to revive traditional wisdom that supports both the dying and the living. Through personal anecdotes, we reflect on the emotional complexity of loss and the transformative potential of facing mortality head-on. This segment aims to reawaken a communal and conscious approach to death, fostering growth and transformation within relationships.
The episode further emphasizes the importance of spiritual and cultural rituals, such as cremation and the proper handling of ashes, to ensure a smooth transition for the soul. We discuss the necessity of cleansing and appropriately disposing of personal belongings imbued with the deceased’s energy to promote healthy grieving. The overarching theme of this chapter is the importance of releasing attachments and healing, paving the way for a more compassionate and resilient future. Join us as we navigate the path to healing and strive to support each other through the inevitable journey of life and death.
Hey everybody and welcome to the Feminine Legacy Podcast. This is your host, jacqueline Hyacinth, and today I wanted to speak with you about death rights and how to navigate loss in this world and how to support and potentially facilitate spaces for our loved ones to ascend and leave their earthbound bodies with greater ease and grace. So I'm going to begin this conversation by saying death has been, as it has for everybody, part of my life. If you have not yet lost a loved one, you will, because it's inevitable. I was nine years old when my father passed away and that was my big initiation into death and catastrophe and chaos. And after that I lost my best friend, my son, godmother, when I was 19 years old. I say lost her, as though you know that she just disappeared. We used to make jokes that she went to the laundromat and never came back. And then after that in my community growing up I mean out of 30 something deep about 16 of our beloveds were either murdered or drug overdosed. I mean welcome to Generation X. But so death has been a very profound part of my life and it has in many ways been a great teacher and it brings me to the space where I can share and talk about some of the intimacies of loss and grief and the scars and wounds that we potentially walk with all of the days of our lives. So thanks for tuning in. So today I'm always when you're speaking with me.
Speaker 1:We're going to be speaking about the spiritual perspective of things, to be speaking about the spiritual perspective of things, and it's important that we just open and listen deeply and see what we need to learn, what is true, how can we be better at tending, how can we open ourselves up to allow the deeper understanding that death is a natural process. It is not something that happens, and how did this ever happen? It is a destiny that is informed by life and it is for all of us, and it leaves the ones that are living in the utmost chaos with an incredible opportunity to love deeper, to learn about grief, to learn about feelings, to learn about becoming and embodying and embracing and transforming into other forms and versions of ourselves. I mean, the destabilization that happens at the face of death is one of the most profound experiences that any of us will ever share in our humanity. So let's begin with that. So, if you've lost someone and you're listening to this and you're grieving and you're in pain. I am with you and I hear you, you and I feel you and I honor your grief.
Speaker 1:And let us also understand that when a soul, when their life, has come to a completion on earth, they need a pathway to transition on. There's many facets to this as far as what was the consciousness of the soul when they left their body. Was there spiritual support, truly? Was there high divine support to uplift that soul and support them in transitioning so that they could get to where they're going? Or are they still swimming around their bodies, connected and attached to the families, and have not actually left the five elements? So there's a lot of nuance here and today I'm just going to cover a little bit and if you need to go deeper and you want to understand something, then you can let me know, and I'm actually going to be preparing a class soon so you can get in on that class soon, so you can get in on that.
Speaker 1:But first let's just start with when somebody passes, immediately we are struck. It's like being struck with lightning. When we love somebody and we have a very adept process that starts to happen inside of us. Right, there's some form of a denial there's. You know they talk about the seven stages of grief. I'm not going to get into that, I'm just going to keep it deep spirit. But whatever your process, is something lightning has thunder, and lightning has come and struck your home, and now you need to be able to perceive it with faculties intact.
Speaker 1:With faculties intact, and so if you're somebody who is primed in advance and you're hearing this conversation, it doesn't mean you'll be able to do that, but it means you might have, like a deeper understanding of like there's a bigger process going on that I need to tend to. I need to pull my resources to attend to something first. Now that may or may not be you in your family unit, right, there might be the mothers, the grandmothers, the fathers. Some people will just go through their own process and there must be somebody who opens and holds the role of I'm a part of this, something bigger and I'm here to help and I know that there's a job to do. This is a spirit that needs to be tended now and I don't know how to do it. This lady, jackie, tells me there's something I got to do, and so just hear this it's first important to center, first ground something, something's happened, you've been struck right round yourself down. Nurture, take care of yourself, get steady, and then two, someone needs to tend.
Speaker 1:So the first thing you want to do is obviously go into prayer and make a prayer that this soul be uplifted in every way and ascend to the highest, highest connection with source light, that they are transformed and brought to source. It's not your business to figure out how that's going to happen. You are first making the call. In doing so, you understand that you are not the center of this story. The one who is past is sitting at the center. That is the person, that is the soul that needs the pathway paid for them to do what they've come to do, and it is relational to you. It is relational to your field and to your family, but it is about them and it's not a like oh. Their life was so cut off, everything is mute.
Speaker 1:At that point. We want them safely elevated out of their body, which takes some time. They're not pronounced dead and then all of a sudden, they disappeared into heaven. That's a fallacy and an illusion from religious infrastructure. The same way it took time for you to come and incarnate into your body and unfold into your chakra system and into your physical vessel is the same way, that it's going to take time for that soul to, for that soul to unmesh itself from all the chakras and to move itself out of the nadis, the meridians, and come out, and where they leave the body and depending upon how they passed, will determine potentially where they go next and how they go.
Speaker 1:And we, you and me this podcast is not about figuring that out, but what it is is to show you that the body is like the membrane that is holding, it's the vessel that's holding the spirit, and so it takes time. It's not a poof. Depending upon what traditions you follow or that you're connected to. It can take upwards up to nine days. It could take up to 14 days, and every day you can be making a prayer for that soul to be ascended. Call in all your teams, call in all your divine guides and all of your support, and your duty at this time is to not hold them close and try to get messages from them and try to hold them and bind them.
Speaker 1:Here you are like the usher, you are the mother of the ways, you are the one who is like, knowing that there's something that this soul needs, and you are tending to it. It's so loving. It's literally the way we tend to birth is a way that we can tend to death and for those of you who know what I'm talking about, it's very special. It's a very and special experience to be a part of this and our own health and vitality is actually interwoven with it, because life and death, these thresholds, they're one. This is, you know, you're learning and the way you relate to life is going to be deeply impacted in this way that you are working with and serving this beloved and I know you loved your loved ones and that love will carry on forever.
Speaker 1:But there is a difference between love and human attachment. There just is, and no one is asking you not to be attached. I'm a mother. I know the emphasis of attachment and most of it, honestly, is not healthy attachment. It's an attachment that we have garnered in our human incarnation, because nobody taught us, because our ancient medicinal ways were not present in our upbringing and didn't really understand the rightness of I'm an individuated being and you're an individuated being and now we're coming together in this dance of life and there's also going to be a divine destiny and we're also both going to die and we have to find ways for us to carve out new understanding and advance ourselves consciously with spirituality, to be able to face these things and really grieve them out. I mean, hollow out the motherfucking bone until we're done. And that can be when we do it effectively. It can be really quick or it can be something that's belabored, but this has a lot to do with what's our intention.
Speaker 1:It's important that we do not bind ourselves to souls that need to leave. When there's unfinished business, when we're unwilling to let go of loved ones, it holds them here. There is a tie for them to be held to the earth and something very unhealthy metastasizes between the souls. Oftentimes the souls become incredibly confused. They're like are missing a doorway for them to step through and experience something different and they're bound. My hands are like actually really uncomfortable when I'm talking about this. So these are things that happen.
Speaker 1:So, depending upon how willing and how many resources there are to facilitate a loving passage, a loving transition out of the material world, will depend on how healthy you and your family will be, because we can see that thousands of years of us not tending our dead what that looks like, and we talk about the food supply and the toxins and everything else. All those things are true, but there is a predisposition, and that is spirit, that is, souls being tended. If we don't tend these souls, where are all these dead souls going? I mean seriously. They're attached to other people's bodies. They're germinating their alcoholism, their cancers, their addictions, all of the behaviors in the field of their experience can become deeply rooted in our experience as humans that are left behind.
Speaker 1:So there's actually a very beautiful call to action, not just for that soul, but for the awakening of humanity and remembering we are spirits first. I should say soul, but you know what I'm saying. So what are we going to do with that knowledge? We have to really start positioning ourselves into understanding that we're spiritual beings first and foremost. So there's a duty to really start to understand these ways of being, because it's the mechanism based on your whole life and all of the ones you're going to need to care for, because everybody's going to go. So let's start bringing back the cyclical nature of this wisdom, that there is a time clock in this reality. Right, there is it. There's their dues that need to be paid and there's times when we're leaving and times when we're coming, and so this is the nature of life. So how do we do this? With greater grace, with more knowledge, and then, as we start to utilize the knowledge, we start to become carriers of wisdom, and if you're listening to this, maybe you already are.
Speaker 1:There are many, many people on this planet. We used to be called death doulas or psychopomps I don't think I actually like any of those references, but I would call them midwives of death and they are the mothers and the fathers who hold the thresholds of life and death and support in these pathways and moving through these spaces, both for the beloveds who need to ascend and move through, and also for those that are here on the earth and these bindings that we have, that we are. We're unconscious of that. Nobody taught us about all these ways in which we hold people here, like. When I was nine years old, I didn't have any idea that the grief and what I was moving through was going to have a direct impact on the way my father transitioned. He stayed way longer than necessary because me and my family did not cope well. We didn't have the information, and our society, which we're all a part of.
Speaker 1:This culture has done a great disservice by hiding death from us when an elder is sick, it's like we don't bring the kids to go see them. Instead, we leave the children at home and get babysitters instead of bringing our children to the bedside of those that are dying. And even at that moment, a lot of times the elders would be like I don't want them to see me like this. And that's that moment. A lot of times, the elders would be like I don't want them to see me like this. And that's a time for us to step in and say actually they need to see you like this because otherwise they're never going to evolve and have the capacity to face death. And these are important rights. And these are important rights.
Speaker 1:How mature we are, how capable we are, has everything to do with what we're actually exposed to. And how do we start bringing that exposure in in a way that's most honoring of us? First, we need to learn these simple things. We need to come back and remember that there are particular pathways. So today I'm just going to speak a little bit about a few topics, and then there's I mean, it's an endless topic, so I'll create more opportunities for us to talk about this. But the first thing is is you know that there's a process that the soul needs to undergo to leave the body. So normally in this culture generally, there is a religious right. So I just actually went to another funeral this past week.
Speaker 1:I was raised Catholic and I want to see how much I need to share here. I just want to give credit, first to all the shamans and all of the medicine peoples who have been a part and who've carried this wisdom through the eons, who in the ethers, are supporting us when we have forgotten. And it is time now for the rising of these medicine people to be in every community, because the way in which we are doing life and death is not working for humanity, and so we need to really reignite and reinitiate ancient ways in the modern world so that we can thrive in this modern world. Because if you're surrounded by unconscious dead people that don't even know they're dead whether it's they've gotten to car accidents or they died from a disease or something has happened, that their consciousness is not intact, that they are not elevated, some of them don't even know they're dead. Souls are walking around completely disoriented, and when that's happening, this becomes a problem for the living. So this is something that is like really imperative in our culture, and I know it's kind of hard to navigate all that when you're like I'm grieving, though how am I going to do that? So I hope you're listening to this, either when you are grieving or when you have the bandwidth to be able to hear what I'm saying and understand that this is really important, really important. And are you that person in your family Understandably?
Speaker 1:The relationship that you formed with your beloved is an identity that you have grown with your, however long you've been in relationship to them. So that can be a very strong root, particularly if it's a partner, particularly if it's parent or a child. And so we have this idea in all of our relationships, right Even when our relationships with our children, when they grow into teenagehood and they start to shift and change and all of a sudden they're not relating to us in the same way, parents are crushed. Why? Because that developed eco-structure became so rooted and strong in this particular relationship that it almost doesn't know how to function in any other way. So it consistently is in suffering. But there is a bigger version of us that is ready to be born and come through and come out to expand our relational field in relationship to ourselves and the way in which we're operating, and also to others, to make room for those souls to grow.
Speaker 1:I mean not to jump topics here, but it's almost like when you see relationships and so much divorce taking place. It's because people are growing outside of that ego infrastructure and wanting to experience more and take in more. They're changing, their appetite for life is growing and the other person is still so rooted in the way they think it should be, because it was a common place for your relating but it's not working out. We all have to grow, so you either are in relationships that hold the test of time and can actually are here for that growth, even though we're in the mystery and don't know. Are we going to be a part of each other's lives anymore? Are we still going to want each other? Are we still going to love each other? And so death offers this enormous opportunity for us to be able to look at this and grieve deeply, because all we've known is this way and this thing, and now that person is not going to be here relating to us in the same way, and it hurts. I am 48 years old and my father died when I was nine years old, and I can still like I still feel the pain in my heart when I'm talking to you and I've done tons of work around it, so I mean it just some things are what they are and they move over time, but we become more and more agile and become more aware to do the things we need to do, like this is part of life and so we need to make space for that and get on with it. So here goes Death rights are important and most cultures know things about spirits that most of our living culture does not.
Speaker 1:For example, when you believe that now your beloved is going over to heaven, like these stories that have co-opted our understanding and our relationship with deep spirit, which is basically heaven, is a state of consciousness and you can have that while you're in the body and you don't need to prove there's this like big thing for my parents generation, maybe yours, if you are aware of it. This like that's showing how much you grieve or showing how, how hard things are is going to be a benefit to anybody. How hard things are is going to be a benefit to anybody. And like having an authentic experience with death is what's most important. Like some people who do death well can have an experience where their loved one leaves the planet and they. It changes them, but they understand so deeply that they're able to move forward with life and keep living. And there's not an elongated grief process. For some people there will be.
Speaker 1:So I'm not telling you what to do. I'm just saying those that are more prepared and are culturally, spiritually sound and aware may or may not have an easier time of understanding the greater mechanisms of life and death at a soul level. So it gives, it makes things a little bit easier. You understand that souls are immortal and that that soul is carrying on in the same way that you will. And we do need to and I was a part of this for a long time we do need to let go meaning like even now, like the spirits are going to the ancestors.
Speaker 1:First of all, not everybody makes it to the ancestors, let's just be clear about that To the well and wise ancestors. That is because so many are stuck in this bardo phase and they don't even move on because nobody's here administering death rights. It doesn't just poof, naturally happen because a priest who is not trained in the arts of death is saying a prayer. I mean, we hope, but for a great portion of the planet that is not so, and so it's really really important and if you're watching this, don't get nervous. I'm sending you a big hug, but this is really important and you can make your prayers right now and if you need help with something, you can book a session with me. But just it's really important that you understand that like this is why these conversations need to be had, and when a loved one has crossed over, there are particular procedures that must be done so that we do not keep binding the soul to us. And I'm going to just name a few of those.
Speaker 1:Number one if your tradition says that you cremate, great, I think cremation is the best way to go. One we're occupying a lot of real estate in the earth, and we're not just actually bringing our bodies, which are obviously able to naturally expunge, into the earth, but we also are all this real estate of coffins, and many times they're not biodegradable. So it's another problem. It's real estate in the earth, and that soul is going to be more connected to the body than it would its ashes. So the fire, the cremation process, is very powerful, right? It's using the element of fire and transforming all the bones, all the blood into ash. The ash is still very powerful and that's why it needs to go back to the earth.
Speaker 1:There are spirits looking to inhabit bodies all over the planet, not just in India. Here too, and when people are unwell, spirits wanna just drop into people's bodies, or they hover around ashes. They hover around places that are vulnerable where they can extract life, because if they're not in a body, they want to be. Or the souls that have passed away that are cremated. If you leave their ashes in your home, they could be hovering around their own ashes and not leave because it's their DNA. So we want to be able to release the DNA, give it back to the earth so that it goes back to the mother, where we all came from, and be released. So if you're somebody who has an earth burial, meaning you have not been cremated, that's fine too. If that's your tradition, do what you have to do and place them in the earth and release.
Speaker 1:But I'm actually speaking about the cremation, because those are the urns that are left behind, even if I've had people that have their grandmother in the garage like not okay, no bueno, and it's important to understand that when these beings were alive, if they had a particular wish, that their soul, that they were like I want to be in this particular body of water. I want to be cremated. I want this to happen. These conversations are important to have, but once the soul has left the body, it's game over. That person is no longer religious, that person is no longer inhabiting the religious interface and infrastructure. They are now just a soul and they are liberated and free from the dynamics of the family soul and they are liberated and free from the dynamics of the family. They are liberated so they don't want to be in a particular anything. Once they're out of the body, all bets are off. So you can do what you want to do for your family member, for your beloved, and that is really important for you and your process. But just be clear. You don't have to prolong anything or like sometimes I have asked well, where do you feel like their ashes would want to go. Don't prolong and wait five years until you go to Italy to deliver your grandparents. If you're not going there now, they don't know the difference. Their field will, but their soul doesn't really care. Their soul wants to go back to the earth. And if their soul doesn't have enough consciousness to know that, then you usher that and you know that for them, because then you'll know what's best, which is always back to the earth, back to the waters of the earth, so that this soul has a way of transitioning.
Speaker 1:Now, if there are, obviously, clothes I remember my father's sleeping bag. I wish I had it still but you want to wash everything, really wash everything, and then it's really good to burn the clothes. If you feel like you need to give them away to people, that's okay, but make sure they're all washed so that if somebody wore something all the time, they're so deeply imbued with the material by saints right, because they're doing so many processes, it's emanating such high divine energy and so they want that energy, even if somebody is not emanating high divine energy, but they're emanating energy. Their DNA is rooted in the clothing and the fibers. So you want to do something to release that, and I understand what it's like to want to hold on. I would have done anything to hold on a little longer and it's not healthy for me, for you, for them. So we have to move through that stuff. That's what adulting is and being good tenders of death. That's what we must learn and that's what we must do. So burn the clothes, let go of everything and find a way, a pathway forward. So there's more information. I mean, obviously, depending upon what traditions you follow, you'll follow particular death rights, but if you have available to you at your disposal shamans and death doulas that know how to do this, that are guides for the living dead, utilize them and, if you feel so called, become one yourself.
Speaker 1:I'm going to close this out now. Oh, I'm going to say one more thing, but this is going to be a preempt for another video. You are not a memorial when a loved one has crossed over. Please, you can do what you want, but I'm just telling you from a spiritual perspective, and tell your men, if you're watching this and you have a partner, let's stop marking our bodies and putting the names of our beloveds like we become a living tombstone or a memorial for those that have passed. This is not healthy behavior.
Speaker 1:This, I believe, is very rooted in martyrdom and connection to church, and it's very deep psychological programming that tells us that we need to remember them and hold them to the body. This is a problem, this is a binding. Those souls, your soul and the soul that is trying to transition are now have a portal. You already had a relationship that still holds as a very strong portal. Once you anchor and imprint the body, it's a next level. Karmically you might be. It's a next level. Karmically you might be one.
Speaker 1:You're creating contracts, for sure, that are rooted in martyrdom, and also you're saying I'm a living memorial and you may also be saying I'm willing to live out your karma. Your name is on my body, sure, I'll finish up your cancer, sure, I'll do this, I'll do that, and you don't even know what you're signing up for. So it is with great love and respect. If you're listening to this and you've already done it. You can undo it, you can make some prayers, but you can to do it. Just, you might want to be like, hey, let's draw a picture, let's paint a picture, let's create some form of art that is a way of expressing our feelings about their passing, but not that we take the moment of time that we're in with the emotion that we are carrying and mark ourselves and tie ourselves in some way that is not honoring of the process of life and death and binding souls to the earth and to our souls. No more. No one told us this.
Speaker 1:I lived in Europe for a long time and the amount of bloody Jesus crosses that I saw across men's backs I mean the amount of for others or that we should imbue ourselves with some form of suffering, I mean it just does not make sense. When you look at it from a high consciousness perspective, it is causing harm to you and it is also as much as you want to stay connected and find comfort in staying connected to someone, you have a right to release these obligations, these forms of contracts and connections with them, so that both of you can fare well. Jesus doesn't need you to carry a bloody cross on your back. Believe me, that's not safe and it's not healthy, and your loved one doesn't need to be imprinted. If you had a true love, that's attachment, that's martyrdom, that's not love.
Speaker 1:Love is from the heart and we know for anyone who has deeply, truly loved. Real love is about freedom, it's about letting go. Let it be your teacher, let it rip your heart in pieces and let it be. But I invite you. I mean, if you want to do it, go do it, but I invite you stop, cease and desist. Do something beautiful to show that you love somebody. You don't owe anyone, to show them how much you love them.
Speaker 1:Process your grief in healthier ways. Find ways whether it's singing, dancing, praying, creating art there's a million ways that you can express the emotion that's moving through you post-death. You do not need to directly mark and brand your body with somebody else. You do not need to karmically take on responsibility for somebody else or leave that doorway open so that person is more bound to the earth and can't sail forward and move on and ascend because they're so connected to you, because you wouldn't let go.
Speaker 1:So these are things that we need to learn, and I'm glad that you're listening to this. If you are and I'm going to close out now I will be making more videos about this and talking about this more, sending all my love to you and your loved ones. May we learn how to move through death with grace and learn how to grieve and release attachments and heal and use this to expand our capacity, because look at the earth, look at how many people are on it, look at the genocide that's happening on this planet. We're going to have to learn how to truly, truly grieve and let go and how to create healthy pathways forward. Thanks so much for tuning in. Ciao for now.