Feminine Legacy Podcast With Jacqueline Hyacinth
Welcome to the feminine legacy podcast. This is an evolutionary platform where we gather to share our stories and wisdom, with the intent to preserve the sacred, and create meaningful legacies to impact future generations. Through live transmissions and conscious conversations we bring light into the darkness and lean into the mystery delving into topics include: womb wisdom, ancestral medicine, spiritual healing, rites of passage, feminine leadership and embodiment, sex, birth, death and so much more ... The future is now! Dream with us...
www.ourfemininelegacy.com
Feminine Legacy Podcast With Jacqueline Hyacinth
Embracing the Authentic Self ~ The Pathway to True Freedom
Have you ever wondered what it truly means to live an authentic life? Join us on the Feminine Legacy Podcast as we embark on a transformative journey with Carly, the "authenticity accelerator," who shares her profound insights on embracing our true selves. Carly and I discuss the essential role of creating inner safe spaces and taking radical responsibility for our lives, revealing how integrating all aspects of our identity can lead to a more connected and liberated existence.
As we wrap up this inspiring episode, we invite you on a five-day introspective adventure with the "Authentic Self Uprising" event. This unique experience offers a blend of guided visualizations and community connections designed to foster self-understanding and acceptance. By embracing all parts of ourselves, including the challenging ones, we can reclaim personal power and make informed choices that benefit our entire being. Join us, connect with like-minded individuals on the Circle platform, and explore the potential for personal growth and authentic living. Let's embark on this journey together, creating a world where we are empowered to live expansively.
To reach Carly and sign up for the event: https://owningauthenticity.com/uprising/
Welcome to the Feminine Legacy Podcast. This is an evolutionary platform where we gather to share our stories and wisdom with the intent to preserve the sacred and create meaningful legacies to impact future generations. Through live transmissions and conscious conversations, we bring light into the darkness and lean into the mysteries, Delving into womb wisdom, ancestral medicine, motherhood, feminine leadership and embodiment, sex, birth, death and so much more. The future is now Dream with us. I'm your host, Jacqueline Hyacinth, mother, mystic, healer and feminine embodiment mentor. I offer training, healing, education and rites of passage. You can book your first session and sign up to receive a free gift at OurFeminineLegacycom. I'll drop the link in the show notes. With my whole heart.
Speaker 1:Thanks for tuning in and, without further ado, let's get into this week's episode. Hello, my loves and welcome. This is Jacqueline Hyacinth with Our Feminine Legacy, and today I'm so excited to bring on a dear sister, Carly, who is a badass for authenticity we call her the authenticity accelerator, and I want to add in bitches, because she's so beautiful and so filled with presence and care and she is so honest and I'm really glad to have her here. So welcome, Welcome.
Speaker 2:Carly, I it. We all need some level of affirmation of like what we're trying to put out in the world is really what's being received. So like just thank you for that little moment of reflection that, yeah, my my trying to is getting across.
Speaker 1:That's good. It really is getting across. I don't know if you know this. I want to just big you up for a second, but I want our audience to also just feel it. There is a sense of softness and just like that, people can really be their fullness around you. That's a very particular quality. So I just I honor it and I see it in you. So thank you for bringing it to us.
Speaker 1:And may everybody who watch it like find that softer space inside themselves for us to be, to liberate and be who we are.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's such a good point, like right off the bat of like I've learned this lesson over and over again as somebody who holds space for other people to come into their authenticity that there's only so much that an external safe space can give us until you find, like that actually the inner safe space is really the precursor to letting anything come up and out. So just even to give like one little kudos of like any millimeter of inner safety that you can create inside yourself, to even just let your authentic self, one little piece of it, show itself to you, of it show itself to you, like that is so huge, you know, like it's not always just about being our authentic self with other people. What I've found is that really it starts inside of us. But like we got to get honest with ourselves, which is truly the hard part.
Speaker 1:So kudos for anybody who's even doing one little bit of that I love that expression and also you hear so much in the world of practitioners and wellness about safe spaces and I'm a really big proponent of what you've just said. Really, self responsibility is like learning to navigate the inner realms of like nobody can really make you feel safe. But there is a congruency that can be found inside and sometimes if we have a practitioner who's really loving and powerful, they can open that space for us to invite ourselves into it. But it's an inside job.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and I make that invitation, you know, like not just in my work, but I mean I just got off a zoom, for I'm also a grocery consultant. I help independent grocery stores get open sometimes and I just got off a zoom related to that and I feel like I bring the same energy even into that space where I'm still me. You know we're here to talk about independent groceries in a rural setting, but I still care about mental health. I still care about, like being connected to the work you're doing. I still care about all kinds of things that like again it goes back to the external space may not be 100% receptive to everything that you are, but really that's you deciding that.
Speaker 2:Who says you can't talk about mental health in the middle of a grocery meeting? Feedback that we heard from that was like that's actually the most interesting part of what got presented was this connection to the emotional dimension, to the psychology of what's going on, like the nuts and bolts of grocery is part of it, like really first accept who you are so that you can be it. The external safe space, just like almost doesn't even matter. You know, often we feel the limitation as the external safe space isn't there and often what I find is like is like the internal safe space isn't there, and often what I find is like is like the internal safe space isn't there, but we build that.
Speaker 1:This is such a powerful and important conversation because, when you think about the ways into which we've compartmentalized throughout the development of our lives right, where it's like I'm this way with my mom, I'm this way with my kids, I'm this way with my husband, I'm this way with my mom, I'm this way with my kids, I'm this way with my husband, I'm this way with my friend, this group of friends, right, and it's like so many different personality split offs that it's like to find the safe it. I love it.
Speaker 2:Yes, that we can bloom right so that all of it can merge, like we were talking about this, um, on a podcast episode I did recently where the person was sharing about their authenticity journey and how they have like their, their authentic life, that they've like built and friends and whatever.
Speaker 2:And then they've got their like day job or whatever, and so they have like one foot in either camp and they feel like when they go into this side of their life, they have to be this, like smaller version of themselves compared to on this side. They get to be like everything that they are. And we had such a fun conversation about how to get those to merge together so that, like, your authentic self gets to be a part of everything that you do, of everything that you do. So, yeah, I mean these are the conversations that I like get to have with people all the time. And authenticity is such a fun subject because it weaves in so many things like inner safety is absolutely a piece of it, self-acceptance, self-love, you know, like self-actualizationization, like there's just so many different ways that you could unpack. Like what even does it mean to be authentic?
Speaker 1:yeah, it's that will look different for each person, because no one really understands the dimension of depth that we actually are, until you go on the journey of discovering oneself right, because that everybody thinks they're being authentic but they're in a personality puppet. Until they realize that that gets shredded right and then they're like oh, who is this like?
Speaker 2:oh my god, I could just see it like yeah, totally, we we know it like we all participate so much yeah, so it's beautiful work.
Speaker 1:So what does? What does authenticity mean for you personally at this moment?
Speaker 2:yeah, at this moment is an important addition to that question, because even just within the last couple of days, I have had an expansion of my understanding, and we didn't talk about this before, but I knew we would get here because it is so alive in my consciousness. It's what I'm calling multidimensional authenticity and it's this idea that, like inside of a moment, you may have multiple authentic truths that either do or don't go together. Okay, and I think this is also where a lot of people might get stuck with authenticity, that they think every part of them should agree, and that's not how it works. Like the short version of this story is a few days ago, I had like a, like a physical, psychedelic experience, and my body was so activated, like so in pursuit of the thing that is causing the chemistry, like let's go eat the chocolate cake, shall we? Everybody on board? Like we're doing that.
Speaker 2:No, no, cause my brain, my mental dimension, has a different authentic truth. My spiritual dimension has a different authentic truth still, and so it was about sitting with all of these different parts, feeling there's what my mind is, thinking, there's what my spirit really wants for my life, and like my authentic self is all of these data points and it's like how do you one? How do you pause with what your body is feeling, because that is so compelling, rather than just like act out whatever your body is like, grab the thing, have the thing whatever it is? How do you pause long enough to even gather the rest of the data points? And then how do you sort through all of that?
Speaker 1:to make a choice and for you, like I, have a pathway that I use to do that. So for you, what is your way Like once you become aware? You're in the moment, you become aware there's different aspects requiring different things. There's your what's your process?
Speaker 2:Yeah, cause like there's like, imagine like a committee meeting and there's all of these different people and they all have their own opinion and the committee needs to make a decision because we have to choose how to interact with life, and so it is a lot. I'm like an obsessive journal probably, but I'll go get in my journal and like just start interviewing all the different pieces that I can feel. Like I can feel this physical dimension, like it is absolutely the loudest and what does this remind me of and what does it want and what is its values, what are its priorities right now? Like just what's important to my physical dimension, because it matters to me. I have to ride in this body. I might as well work with it, get along with it, like build a nice relationship, nice partnership with my body.
Speaker 2:It matters, like what it's telling me right now. That's good information to have. But then I sit that to the side and get in the journal and like what's my mind saying, what's my intellect saying, my logical thought, my like ability to discern what factors come in now, and then again with with my spiritual dimension, what does my spirit know to be true, what does my spirit value? Like what is most important as far as, like when I look through the eyes of my soul, for my life in general, what does my soul want? And I was like my mind and soul were basically on the same page. Like we need more information. Okay, like that's, that's our decision, yeah, body you're outvoted.
Speaker 2:I do apologize, we're taking your, your perspective, into a much longer process. Okay, Like it's not time for that, but noted. Okay. So like I feel like at that point my body was like maybe a little bit pouty, a little bit, but was also like I get it. Okay, so like how can I channel this energy that I'm feeling in a different way? If we're not going to just go do that, then like how are we going to move this energy? Because I'm still feeling this energy.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So there's a need there that had to be met, even though the body didn't get its way. So like meeting our needs on like all of these different levels is. I mean, I'm just like obsessed with looking at it like this lately.
Speaker 1:I love that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Mine is a different process.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Mine is there's usually fire involved, fire involved so energetically, once I can feel the realms of dimension and like the upset, I immediately will like go to the altar, light a candle, and then I just immediately go in and I call all the parts by the fire, yeah. And then, in the same way you're doing with the journaling, and then I just either get sensation, get a sense of knowing, visual or just you know kind of presence, an overall spectrum of who's there, and then I give space for whatever needs to be shared in the space, whatever needs to be shared in the space.
Speaker 1:I'm really clear that I am like the parent of the space, yeah, and that I want to hear what everybody has to say, but I'm ultimately going to make the decision on behalf of all. So it's the council meeting, right, and then I'll send any other guidance or whatever it is that needs to be brought into the space. So I have more discernment, I have more awareness around what, what needs to be brought in.
Speaker 1:And and then sometimes it can smoothly be precipitated and like, okay, this is how it's going to go down, and I love, I hear you and we're going to transmute this part because it needs to be, you know, formed into an older version or whatever the case may be. And then it's kind of yeah, that's kind of how I yeah very similar.
Speaker 2:Yeah, very similar to like you got to hear it all. It all has something to say that's important, like one of the most common things I hear like with my one-to-one clients. They'll like find a part and they're like okay, so how do I get rid of that?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Or like how do I do a violence on this part and make it not exist anymore? And I'm like honey, sweet, precious, like no, like that's the part that really needs to come, sit in the middle of the circle, yeah, yeah, and get to be heard and get to be seen and get to be loved. You know, like that saying that's like all over my instagram, that's like healing is not about like not having I don't even know how it goes but something about like it's about letting the worst parts of yourself be loved.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because that's where I go back to like people can't love us louder than we love ourselves.
Speaker 1:They cannot, and people don't know what's going on inside of us to love those parts anyway. So so it's like you're asking for somebody to do the impossible.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then being real upset about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, feeling rejected about it. I deal a lot with the fear of rejection. That goes pretty hand in hand with owning authenticity, for sure. That's why I can't, because they won't like me, or they'll leave, or they'll get mad at me, or they whatever. Fill in the blank. And yeah, yeah, rejection is like a whole thing.
Speaker 1:It is. It's such a whole thing, it's such a whole thing.
Speaker 2:Oh, go ahead please.
Speaker 1:Tell us so as far as how you got here, there like a backstory you want to share with us around, like your upbringing or like how did you get, how did you remember that you were a woman of spirit and and start this journey forward?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So what's coming to mind is the day my life like took a turn in this direction, and there was like a specific day and it was precipitated, as I mean, I've heard so many stories that sound just like this, of like I was so depressed that I did not want to be alive, and one morning I woke up in July of 2016 and basically gave up my life. I said I'm so sick of living like this, like either I'm going to figure out how to do it so that I can be happy, or I just won't be here. And in the back of my mind, I had like this like I'll give it 30 days.
Speaker 1:Whoever that was, whatever part that was, thank you.
Speaker 2:Just like, try this one last thing. And I didn't even really know what that was going to be, yeah, but I was like basically open to the universe at that point of like, show me, show me how I can do it, so that I want to be alive, because I don't know how to do that right now. And that was after many, many times of staring into the abyss, of like, why am I still here? I can't remember why I haven't quit yet, and that's that's a problem, because I'm about to fall off the cliff into the abyss. And then you got to come back as a baby and start all over again and that's really annoying.
Speaker 2:So that day, that day, I had this moment and I basically what came in was I had been doing for a few years stutter starts in my self-care practice, where I would do it for a few weeks and then I would feel so good and because I feel better, now I'm not taking my medicine anymore, and then I would crash again and then I would do self-care because I felt so awful and I would feel better, but then I feel better, so I would stop taking my medicine. So like that had been going on for like three years at this point and basically what I decided that day was I'm going to do self-care every day for the rest of my life, whether that's 30 days or that's longer, no matter what. Like there is no end date to this plan Every day that I'm alive, I will do self-care, and that was the commitment that I made to myself, and I was very, very much in the darkness at that point and this happened to be a Saturday morning, so I was like you know, I've got Saturday, sunday off work, I'm going to do just like a little self-care, staycation of like everything I can think of. This is all I'm doing this weekend. Um, and so I ended up Googling uhitations, basically, and found Abraham Hicks that day and proceeded to study with her for like two and a half years just by listening to her content, like her free videos on YouTube taught me and basically walked me into your internal guidance system. Like, your feelings are the hotter, hotter, hotter, colder, colder, colder, like.
Speaker 2:If you don't like the feeling of your external reality, it's only reflecting your internal reality. So find a way to feel different and then the external world around you will change, and within two or three months I knew that for certain because my external reality looked very different and all that I had done was like, basically, gratitude practices, like focus, wheels of positive aspects, like focus on things that are easy to feel good about and quit chewing on the stuff that's poisoning you. Stop doing that, and so I did, because this is my last chance. I'm taking one more chance and that's it, and so, like I'm done with that, I'm doing this and within a couple months, I mean I was onto this path of like I've not looked back.
Speaker 2:It's been eight and a half years of daily self-care and my life looks nothing like it did back then. I feel like I am a very different version of myself. Even every few months, more of the inner parts get to merge and therefore like be expressed, and it's an ongoing journey. Like that's my favorite bottom line to tell about. Authenticity is that there's always more there's always more of you.
Speaker 2:You know, the only thing blocking you being more authentic is believing you already are that, like our authentic self, can just as easily become a box that's limiting us when you don't allow it. That eternal expansion and evolution and the more, more, more that we're an extension of this universe that's constantly expanding, so of course, your authentic self would constantly be expanding. So that's where, like the work I do with people, it's like we can just go deeper and deeper and deeper, and deeper and deeper and fall more and more in love and with who we are.
Speaker 1:There's this part of me right now that feels so grateful and also so sad that we don't learn this as a culture in our youth.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like yet it should not yet. But yeah, like kids, parents knowing, like just generations of peoples being free to know this. Yeah, you know to get out of the suit, to to live beyond the particular fragrance of like one archetype. You know about just the roles. If you just look traditionally even at you know our ancestors or our parents, our grandparents, the particular roles they played, like how finite things were or how rigid things were, and it's like they're just yeah, and this. This is such a multi-dimensional expressive tech, like spiritual technology this distant blooming, color sequences, frequency, I mean.
Speaker 1:Everything is so alive in this world and yet we know about, we get like a tiny little piece of it. But what you're seeing here is this beautiful equanimity of, and dance of more Like this is the more that we really want. Like this is what we're really hungry for.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that's what I learned at that turning point was like I was so empty like, so hollow, like just a little bit before that day that I woke up, I I met a goal that I had been like really into for like three years I really wanted to get my project management professional certification. And I just thought that like yep, once I got that, then I'm going to feel all better. And I took the thing and studied for the exam and took the exam and it was just like this tiniest little non-event of like congratulations, you passed. And I felt no different. So that was part of this moment of like I had been kind of holding out hope a little bit.
Speaker 2:I think that like once I get that professional piece, that like then I'll feel more confident, I'll feel like I have more self-esteem, Like I have more validity, I can take up space, I can use my voice more.
Speaker 2:And I got that certification and I felt the exact same and I just like crumbled because I was like holding it together for that. And it's funny how many of my clients who come into like the one-to-one work I do have a story that sounds just like that, like that, that like they got the thing that was supposed to make them feel whatever kind of way they thought they were going to feel, and they got it. Meeting our goals can be really catalytic because you can find out that you wanted this thing and getting it doesn't even come close to matching the imagined version that you had, compared to the reality of actually getting the thing and how you were really hungry for something else. I didn't want a PMP certification, I wanted to be confident, okay, and I thought that was going to do it. And then it frigging didn't and I was low-key pissed when I just like gave back that life, like I don't want to live like this, I can't, I need to figure it out.
Speaker 1:This is so important. So I was just clearing something for myself yet again, because our programming is so strong, right, the societal narratives of like be something show up in a particular way, like get, make money, get a job, job, like.
Speaker 1:Whatever it is the stories are like what's going to make you acceptable in society, you know. Turn yourself inside out so you don't even know who you are anymore. And so this is such an important fractal because most of us grew up all kinds of ways, obviously externalized and feeling like we needed to do particular things for love, and we know now that that's a self-betrayal. But, with that said, it is does take us on a pathway for us to redirect and find out that this isn't true.
Speaker 2:So we gotta take right, we gotta take the bait well, and let me just tell you, I made like a whole career as an entrepreneur out of that project management professional certificate. So like act one is not wasted time, like you got some valuable stuff in there.
Speaker 1:I love that.
Speaker 2:You need that stuff. You can't skip that part, and that's another piece that I hear a lot of like. I wish I would have figured this out sooner, and that just, it's a twofer.
Speaker 1:It's a twofer Because what you're saying is accurate. It's two because what you're saying is accurate. And then there's also this those that continue even once they're then on the spiritual path, and it's like certification and this and certification and that and like it's the same program that is consistently running and it's totally okay. You can take as long as you need to get the message that you're enough already.
Speaker 1:We all have a spot that eventually we're going to hit the wall. But yeah it's. We have been really conditioned to want to belong outside of ourselves and to become something other than ourselves, so it's such a victory to just disconnect from that. We refer to it as the dark matrix, but that, that matrix that is not interested in, in like your fulfillment of your souls incarnating and being who you are at all.
Speaker 2:No, yeah, the matrix is doing its job it is doing there to harvest your power. Yeah, and it's doing its job very well it is and we have more power to decide. I don't want to participate in that anymore and take our power back, but that's hard, but that's the whole point it's the whole.
Speaker 2:Thing that's the whole people are not doing it because it's hard, yeah, yeah, what could we say in this moment to somebody who's relating to that? And just to even give them like one little piece. Like what do you think is the question of like how to, how to take your power back from the institution that benefits from you staying powerless, whether that's your family system or your marriage or your job or whoever? They have their own agenda in mind.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I would say, the day you look in the mirror and you realize you cannot betray yourself any longer is the day that radical responsibility needs to be pulled back and, like you call it, call a mentor, call, get a helper, call us like, whatever it is. But that's the day where you just are so disgusted by your own presence, right by your own essence, that you're sick of yourself. Yeah, because at first you start being sick with about everybody else, because you're still in a state where you're not in actualization or awareness. So it's always somebody else's fault. It's this job that's wrong, it's this relationship.
Speaker 2:that's wrong, it's never, it's never us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you have to like shake up and wake up from the day that you're like. You are the creator of all of this.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But it's tricky because we have been positioned in such a way that most people don't even hear this message.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Right and to accept responsibility. Because our parents weren't taught it with respect to them I say that lovingly, but most of us because we were missing the spiritual knowledge or the depth of, of the law of one and like how this all operates, people are still like it's my friend's fault, it's this, like it's there's no real sense of responsibility and that breaking out of that victim paradigm is like huge for us, it's. I still work at it.
Speaker 1:You know, it's this consistent, like reconfiguration oh you, you're still a different one, another personality, another aspect. It's like. It's like this is this is what it feels like.
Speaker 2:It's like pulling everybody into line yeah, so over and over and over, and over and over every day, many times a day.
Speaker 1:And that's another, it's, it's another myth yeah, it is, it's total devotion, total commitment. You know, we fall off, we eat the cake, we pull it back in.
Speaker 2:I mean 100, 100. We work like that, like the story got set up in act one. We're going to have to carry that narrative on through. Yeah, so like one thing I love to do is like what's the advantage?
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:What's the gift, and are you still getting?
Speaker 1:it? Are you still is it is the advantage still advantageous, or has it? And it's kind of not even delicious anymore.
Speaker 2:Well, and like, at this point, my perfectionism, it's like part of my hard wiring and my attention to detail going anywhere. Okay, so I still have it and I have a more conscious relationship with it, to where my detail radar will notice things. And then I have a process of like is this mine, because it's not your business to go poking around optimizing other people's something like get out of their business, so that lets a lot, a lot of stuff go, like it's not your place to do anything about that. Or maybe it is your something. And at that point, like is it fun?
Speaker 2:Would it be fun for you to play with these details? Because sometimes it is. Would it be fun for you to play with these details? Because sometimes it is. Sometimes I go through and like change the background color on 50 pages of something because, like, I like that shade of blue better than this shade of blue. Oh, I know kind of mindless, it's kind of meditative, like I'm just kind of doing it like and it feels good, okay, so like, fine, fine, good, the only time we're ever talking about like something that's in your way is all bad.
Speaker 2:There's a light side to all of it is you know. So, yeah, it's like how do you position yourself in a conscious relationship with your own wiring? Yeah, it takes so much acceptance and so much understanding and so much like compassion for the part of you that was traumatized into perfectionism as an example. You know, act one can be real rough, yeah, saying it's not. But act two and three are way more fun not saying it's not, but act two and three are way more fun.
Speaker 1:Agreed, yeah, I love that yeah so for those that are listening, I'll mirror that question back to you. So for somebody who's like just starting out and is like I, I don't like what would be the step, you would say what's going to make you cross out of that, cross the threshold out of that dark matrix, and choose you.
Speaker 2:I think you said it perfectly as far as, like, you got to get sick of yourself and I hate that. That's the doorway that we got to walk through, you know, but until you are fed up with the way it is, it will stay.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And so it's actually like a little bit of a blessing in disguise, because when you get fed up with yourself is the point where you finally turn inward and you're like, okay, fine, what do I need to do differently? And that question right there has a lot of responsibility in it.
Speaker 1:It does.
Speaker 2:Like I believe I'm contributing to this and maybe if I played my part differently it would affect the situation somehow. Maybe, like what, if you know, what could I do differently? And just even for anybody listening, like feel how different that question is than how you would normally approach a situation. That feels like contrast, that feels like something unwanted where we're trying to fix it, we're trying to like make them be different so we can feel better. Whatever it is, and what could I do differently? You know, like really taking a look at your part, what terry cole calls your side of the street and there's also a really beautiful quote here as far as, like just pour in some gasoline on this fire. As far as ask the question because I get this one from Esther Perel it takes two people to break you, be different and everything will change. So, while it may be a bitter pill to swallow, it is also like the key to acts two and three. It's like what could I do differently?
Speaker 1:it is.
Speaker 2:And then you start showing up different, and then life is different, and then you do more and more.
Speaker 1:There's like power back in your lap as soon as you even ask the question. It's like power is back in the lap, yeah, and then you can decide where you're going to go with it, but before that you're powerless. Right, it's grabbing decide where you're going to go with it, but before that you're powerless. Right it's grabbed like you're looking for power in the dynamics with other people, but when you do this, it just asserts will you're remembering that you have choice yes you know, like and that's choices are power.
Speaker 2:Like choice is free will. Like we get to choose. We choose our life. And like how do you create your own reality? You make choices and either you like the results of the choices you made or you don't, and no choice is a choice it is, and what?
Speaker 1:who? I don't know who says this, but it's so true. What you're not changing, you're choosing.
Speaker 2:Yes, accepting, tolerating, it'll be okay. That's a choice. It is a choice I was working out for you. I sat across from somebody last week and she's like you know, I've been doing this for 60 years Like, yeah, it'll probably be okay, it doesn't feel okay. And she was deeply feeling that like it's not okay. I have preferences, I have needs, I have like, and at that point you know there's a lot of patterning that has to be like shifted one degree at a time, but even that's possible. So, like any amount of if we don't like a situation, if we don't like a situation, there's always like what's my part in choosing this? How am I choosing this? What would it look like to choose something different? Well, I want to be respected in this situation. Okay, how do you show up as somebody who is respectable? Respect is earned.
Speaker 2:Have you earned your own respect. You know, like I know, Are you a magnet for respect.
Speaker 1:Become one, and then you get it, yeah, yeah. And can you really sit and just say I respect you to yourself?
Speaker 2:Right, right, right. Mine was understanding. Like I really wanted to be understood. Okay, I felt like an alien since I went to school for the first time and just like couldn't human the way everybody else seemed to human and I just wanted to be understood and I was constantly in misunderstandings where I felt misunderstood and the turning point was basically realizing that like nobody can understand you louder than you understand yourself. So, like I was looking for understanding with everyone else, I was looking to them to help me understand me when I didn't even understand me and you could fill that in with love or respect or whatever. Do you feel that way about you? Because when you do, other people can't help but reflect it back to you, even if they're not the kind of person that would be. Like I really respect you, they'd still say it because you're such a strong magnet pulling it out of them and vice versa.
Speaker 2:Yes, you may be pulling stuff out of people that you don't like, and then what could I do differently? And owning that? There's something in me that needs this experience. Yeah, for my own experience of my wholeness and bringing a fragmented part of me home. I need for this person to. Two years ago, I had a bully show up in my life Like we're freaking adults, okay, and I'm like getting bullied, and it was such a healing experience because what is my side of the street that I am living this and it lasted for over a year. Really, yes, this was like it ended in the fall of 2023.
Speaker 1:Karma.
Speaker 2:It went from July of 2022 to, like, september of 2023. So over a year, and it just was layer after layer after layer of self-acceptance coming online and like really truly getting the message that like it doesn't matter what other people think of you, because they can only see you through their eyes. The things that this person was saying were like well, like where we started of, like I'm glad that I trying to is getting across. You know, like you're seeing me in similar way to how I see myself. That's beautiful thing. Me in similar way to how I see myself that's beautiful thing.
Speaker 2:This person was seeing me so differently than how I saw myself, but, as it turned out, there was a part of me that actually agreed wholeheartedly with my bully. So I'm magnetically attracting my bully to help reflect this part of me that I don't listen to inside my own, my own mind, my own inner world. Then we are blessed with an external representative of that fragmented part of self until we bring it home. And so, through that experience, for 14, 15 months, I brought home my self critic. 15 months, I brought home my self-critic. I let my inner bully come in and sit by the fire and have a warm meal and join in kumbaya with the rest of us.
Speaker 2:They're still around. My inner bully is a real part of me. She's mean sometimes, but she really just is scared. Yeah, she really just feels unloved or unsafe in that moment and she's lashing out. She's aggressive, you know, like we probably all do. It's just how conscious are you of it and how like love and light are you like? This was kind of my graduation from your love and late spirit.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, cause that was causing me to neglect and reject lots of different parts of myself. That didn't fit that. So since then, like over this last year, like I've really welcomed in my anxiety and my depression and my rage and my like everything it's all in there and it's all valid. And then, just like we were saying earlier, like how do you sit with the physical experience long enough to gather the rest of the data and then make a choice that benefits the entire system?
Speaker 1:It's so beautiful. It reminds me. I also feel like I want to say, for those that are new or not new, because we forget sometimes, but, like the experience that you're sharing about, not everything is comfortable and it doesn't mean that something actually is happening that's wrong, like I get a lot of people that have like all kinds of things happen, but traumatic events, like big illnesses that come up, whatever it is, and we always internalize that something's wrong, like there's a fall from grace, like there there's this like how could this happen?
Speaker 2:Being punished.
Speaker 1:Yeah, always the punishment right, like what did I do to deserve this this? All this wiring comes up right and it's like just the very nature of your existence is an open door for whatever needs to come through for your soul to have a full, rich, diverse experience. And it's really complicated and really uncomfortable and it's part of it will mature you the fuck into yourself, whether you like it or not. Right, but we normally in the beginning we go kicking and screaming until we realize you have to go anyway, like we have to walk the terrain regardless. So there's a softening that happens and then, as you're speaking, you come into maturity and then you're able to move through these things. Sometimes you have to get back up, like we have teachers, we have guides, we have mentors, we have support that helps us to move through particularities in our lives that are very, very challenging. But it's not because anything's wrong. It's actually because something's right, because there is an evolution, something wants to grow, change, shift, and that is authentic living.
Speaker 1:Authentic living is not just like I get to smile every day. I'm like an authentic spiritual path does not mean you're happy.
Speaker 2:That's just the point. No, that's not the point. That's not the point. No it means you're real.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, You're real in every moment and if you are somebody who leans towards happiness and you choose it, then you'll have it, regardless of what's going on in your experience. But it's a hard, really a really hard shift for the beginning phases because it's it's big losing a loved one like all these very big events are like it happened to me, not that it happened.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, like victim versus creator. Totally Making that shift is so difficult and I want to just take a second and be like all right. So if you're even a little bit in the creator mode of your life, look at what you accomplished. Yeah Like, just take a second and soak that up and not what you've accomplished according to society's standards.
Speaker 1:But just take a look at you yeah, this is something I'm like again like good just look at you, not like what type of house you live in, what kind of car you drive, not whether you're partnered or whether you have a baby, like all of these things that are literally societal narratives of what you should be doing, and just let go of all of the chaos of what other people have believed you should be, that you internalize and just get real, like you are alive and well. What is it about you? That that you love and where you are, like what you have, what you've accomplished, what you've moved through emotionally and what you've survived and when you say that, when you start looking at that, you start looking at act one with kinder eyes because it's set up.
Speaker 2:The comeback in act two that you're now so proud of, you know, like it reminds me of one of my greatest accomplishments is healing my social anxiety.
Speaker 2:That used to be debilitating and basically I was a hermit and very lonely and sad, and it was because I was scared of people. I was scared of like them saying something to me or asking me a question or like anything really of any kind of interaction, and now I don't feel anxious to be around. Basically anyone which goes into another accomplishment that I am most proud of is feeling comfortable in my skin, like there's almost no self-consciousness. And it's actually really interesting now when I run into a situation that makes me self-conscious, because I'm like oh, what am I believing about this situation? That's making me feel like something's at stake here. Two, that's not me to create this level of self-consciousness and like I gotta do it right and I gotta be right and I gotta say the right thing, and like I don't most of the time 99 of the time like I don't feel any of that, I'm just beating, and so these are accomplishments they are huge accomplishments right like take your power back and use it to make your life feel good to you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's the game and that's a really fun way to live. As far as what I've found so far, save my life. You know, just gets better and better.
Speaker 1:You're making me think of something I want to just give myself right now. One of my, one of my biggest accomplishments is reinventing myself over and over again, like starting in life, moving to a new country, like these, consistent, being able to just like, recreate again, like, yeah, and, and it's so beautiful how so many of us do that, but it's so underrated because it's nobody is going to give you credit in this world unless you give it yourself the value. You know what I mean, and we can't wait for the world to value us. So that's really beautiful to be like. So, yeah, thank you for for that, for like giving the space. And also we were taught like don't big yourself up, right, like don't don't brag about yourself, don't actually?
Speaker 2:that's part of how the matrix is harvesting your power totally, it's like it's just part of it. So yeah, like when you have power to look at yourself and be like these are the parts I like. Yeah, not because I have proof about how valuable those parts are, but because they make my life worth living.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like you have the power to decide, like what makes your life worth living. And so, yeah, like I'm, for a long time, my work has been about like helping people get to the end of act one. Okay, like to wake up and like realize that you are the creator. And now I I don't know, it's just not where I'm vibrating Like I have so much more energy for like doing work that helps creators make their life even better act two and act three are much more fun god it's fun and again when I look at my clients.
Speaker 1:Act one I'm I, I'm happy to help, and also it requires a different level of efforting. Act two and act three is like let's get in here, there's a different place it's a different dance, you know, and different tempo it is
Speaker 2:density, yeah, so that's where I'm gravitating to, because I think, like we've mentioned, like there's just layer after layer after layer of the blind spots we haven't become aware of yet. So, even once you are living an authentic life, there's still more to like, more exhilaration, more of your full self embodying your vehicle on this planet, like, how good do you want it to be? Because the only thing that stops it from being better is like, yeah, it's already as good as I want it to be, it's good enough. Well, if it's good enough, then it's done yeah, but if you're open to it being even better.
Speaker 2:What could I do differently? What could I be choosing that would make it even better? I love that it's always on the table and there's no top end that I've found so far, with how good can your life be and what a legacy to be building is like, to be one who demonstrates how much fun this planet really is yeah, yeah it's like for sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's, it's us really taking responsibility for creating heaven on earth.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's bringing it in yep, and being an anchor of that and being a preview of that for anybody that ever comes across your path. And then they're like who are you and how did you get like that? Well, come over here and so much more fun.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for all of us. Just be like I have a dream, I'm gonna write it down. I'm choosing to create it like great, get your backup team and go like just get to it. You're the only one that has to decide. It's your mind that is going to. You know that needs to change yeah, choose, yeah.
Speaker 2:One little choice at a time, that's all.
Speaker 1:That's beautiful, Carly. Tell us about this new opportunity that's coming up with you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I am hosting over new years, for the end of 2024, the beginning of 2025, I'm hosting an event called authentic self uprising. And it is all of what we've talked about. It's digging down into what is the next little bit of your truth that's ready to show itself to you.
Speaker 2:And then how do I embrace that? Like we talked about with some of our dimensions, like the inner bully is a perfect example. It's really hard to wrap that guy in a hug and be like I'm so glad to see you, but that's what needs to happen. Sometimes they're prickly and so it's like special gloves, but anyway. So how do we embrace the truth that gets shown to us? That gets shown to us? And then the real exciting part is like what gifts does that part have that I now have conscious control over because I've accepted that part of me. I accept the light and the dark, both sides of the part, and I get the advantage of being more whole in that way. So there's new gifts coming online every time you accept a new part, and then we take up space with that new truth. What does that look like? How does it look to take action Knowing that that truth is now in there? How do we choose something different now that we have that extra truth?
Speaker 2:So these five days, from December 30th to January 3rd, are live on Zoom an hour each day. There are replays for those who can't attend live, but it's basically like a group event where you get to spend time with yourself. So it's like carving out alone time with a group of people who are also spending alone time. That's my favorite. It's like introverted community.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you were there last time, it's just so lovely to just have a container. It's so nice to be held and to have the space for inquiry. And it's different when you obviously I'm a mentor and and so I understand the value of like really being loved and held in space so that you can deepen in your own experience, because wherever two or more of us gather, there is a magic that opens, there is something very real that becomes quantifiable, um, we're able to access more of ourselves because everybody's consciousness is playing a part in the container. So it's. It's yes, thank you to the practitioner that's holding it for sure and also there are there's like a really beautiful melting pot of possibility because everybody's bringing different gifts.
Speaker 2:Right, right, so it just creates an acceleration for sure.
Speaker 2:Well, and that's like the community aspect of it. Like I run this event through my circle community and that way people can post and share and, you know, just kind of stay in contact with each other as the event is going on. So it's like really an opportunity to test drive a new community, if that's something that you're in the market for, and deepen your own self-understanding in the process. But on circle someone posted like a little sketch that they did after one of the guided visualizations and like posted it in the circle. And one of the people who saw that she just like had this whole aha moment about like she had been beating herself up about not being like a good listener or a good student or whatever, and because when she's listening she's like doodling, she's like drawing pictures on the page. And somebody else is like look, I drew this while we were in the session today and all of a sudden there was this aha moment and like a permission slip, like wait, why am I beating?
Speaker 1:up on myself.
Speaker 2:I like to draw while I listen. It helps me listen better. Cool, it's not a problem. Except she thought it was a problem until she saw, oh wait, somebody else does that too, and so, yeah, it's just the possibility for deepening into who you really are. It's really everywhere in life, but like this specific container, like that's on the surface. It's really everywhere in life, but like this specific container, like that's on the surface. That's exactly what we're doing. So, yes, you can go to owningauthenticitycom, slash uprising and save your seat totally free. I welcome you in. Would love to have you there.
Speaker 1:Wonderful. We'll put the links below.
Speaker 2:Beautiful.
Speaker 1:It's been so amazing. I love these conversations.
Speaker 2:So good.
Speaker 1:Oh, juicy, it's so wonderful to have spaces to share and talk in this way and for all of our listeners.
Speaker 2:Check out Carly's work Really beautiful and, yeah, work really beautiful and yeah take care, take good care of the one that you are a big, important job yeah it is, it really is thank you all of our listeners, and we'll see you again soon, okay.