The Magic 8 Ball of Love

On this episode "The Magic 8 Ball  of Love with Lauren Frances,   I answer burning questions from my community, like:
 
 “How to slow a man’s roll when you've just started dating, and want to have a heart connection - before he gets your thong off …
  
“What’s the best way to end a BORING phoner with a potential date, when you are just not feeling it?  HINT: This involves a microwave ...you’re just gonna have to listen in, ('cause it’s hilarious) and effective 100% of the time!

And, “How do I start dating again after a seriously long (Paleolithic!) dry spell? ”

You’ll also find out how I became a love coach in the first place ... and the flirt group that started it all! 

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Follow Lauren on Insta @laurenfranceslove
Follow lovescript on Insta @lovescriptbeauty

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Email us! You can get in touch with the me, ask questions and give your feedback at Lauren@laurenfrances.com

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Join our next in-person Love Magnet Retreat in Los Angeles at the Roosevelt Hotel & in Miami at the Nobu Hotel! – Claim Your Spot Today at https://www.laurenfrances.com/pages/the-love-magnet-makeover-3

Transcript

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Welcome to the first magic eight ball of love telecall of night of 1922, of 2000. Feels like it's been since now from 1922. Doesn't it? It just feels like it's been a really long time. Um I uh am so delighted to be leading this class. And I am going to fix the view here. We're gonna do a speaker view. Hi. Hello. All right, so I uh just want to do a little introduction, first of all, and just say uh my name is Lauren Francis. I'm a love and relationships expert, author, uh coach. I'm a creator of the Man Magnet Makeover, which we are now calling the Love Magnet Makeover. Uh, because a lot of my uh, you know, it's a modern day. It's a modern day. So there we go. It's called the Love Magnet Makeover. And uh I have um worked with literally um hundreds of thousands of women have downloaded my podcast programs, and uh I've had thousands of women take my in-person live workshops and seminars. And I uh started coaching about 18 years ago, and it was kind of an accident. I'm just gonna tell you my little story just because uh a lot of you are new to my work. Um I uh was a publicist and an event planner, and I was also that woman that all of my girlfriends were like, Hey, why are you dating so much? And I don't understand why he didn't call. And oh my God, I, you know, they promised they weren't gonna sleep with them and they were just like, oh my God, I just slipped on a dick. I don't know how it happened. I didn't know how to say no. So I was the person that they called to get dating and relationship advice from. And really, my credentials were that I really uh, you know, was really good at giving advice. Uh, I was good at uh relationships and dating. And um, you know, I was I just have been boycrazy my whole life. What can I tell you? So this lifelong passion with romance and also in supporting my sisters and really, you know, creating happiness and learning how to get attention and uh, you know, making, you know, doing makeovers, that was like a passion of mine. And it was a thing I did for free. And Oprah uh said, you know, if you do the thing that you would do for free, you'll never work a day in your life. So, you know, love and relationships coaching for me has been the thing that's just been a gift that's kept on giving. And so we created a little flirt group many years ago. And um uh it's just a little preamble to our call, just for any of you who are new to my work. And um we called it the man trap pack. And we went out flirting in the field, and there was a lookout, which was me. No, I was a leader. There was a lookout, a scout, and a sniper, somebody who would shoot, shoot down incoming, shoot down men who we just like couldn't get rid of and didn't want to talk to. And from that, I wrote little field notes because they kept calling so much. I was just like, I can't take, I can't answer all of these calls, I don't have the time. And uh then they got you know printed, stapled, and put into little booklets. And then finally we put these little booklets on the internet, and but they got tucked into um tucked into handbags and uh, you know, many date nights, they were used uh, you know, in a pinch. And then I wrote a uh book proposal uh for this book, Dating, Mating and Manhandling, which, if you don't have it, this is the new and updated version, which has amazing uh love scripts for flirting in the field and also online dating, uh, which the first one did not have. And you can buy it on my website, nifty ebook, and you can also get a paperback. But at any rate, this wound up uh becoming a bestseller and being translated into eight, I think eight languages. And lo and behold, a career was bored. And then I was like, God, it would be so great if this was in a Victoria's Secret store. And then I did a Pilates duet with a trend spotter for Les Wexner and did um a 14 city tour, and they sold this in the uh sold this in their stores. Now I know that Victoria's Secret right now kind of like in a lot of trouble, but they were very supportive of me. And they did say if Victoria's Secret could talk, she would talk like you. And Cut to, um, I did that tour, and then I was like, what am I gonna do? And then I wound up, you know, doing teleclasses and seminars. And I it's been 18 years since I launched and did my first magnet, uh, you know, my first group seminar and teleclasses. And I've got to say that the love stories and the women that I've worked with are so awesome. And it's my it's like the true sweetness of my life to watch women blossom and grow and develop and become what I call self-defining in the area of their personal love relationships and to have confidence where they didn't have confidence and to feel empowered where they didn't feel empowered. Okay, so that's that's how I came, that's the origin story for uh me becoming the love coach that I am. Now, what I would like to do is to welcome everybody that's on this call to this call. And um, we have a chat, and I'm gonna open up the chat, and I want, you know, what I'd like to do is I would like, you know, everybody just kind of put their hand on their heart for a moment and just take a big deep breath in to the counterfor to hold or to exhale that three more times. Exhale and slowly open your eyes. So we all get connected. All right. Um what I would love to do is to have you all give us a little shout out. If you could just share where you're from in the chat, and it is okay to do a chat during this call. Um just so people, you know, if you would like to connect with people in your area, uh, this is a really good way to get gentlemen women that you could flirt in the field with. So see Mimi's in LA, hello. Jamil's in Burbank, Susan Temecula. Oh, Stella's here from London, Brie, California, yay, Alberta, California. Hello, Loretta. Hello. We've got Chime Girl coming in from Ventura, Vancouver. Good morning from Hong Kong. Oh my god. I am loving Zoom. We used to just do these on teleclasses, and this is so hello, Lisa. Is that my Lisa S? Love it. Okay, so welcome, welcome, welcome to the class. Oh, I miss you all. Okay. So without further ado, I am going to start. Uh, we're gonna get out. I'm gonna get out of the speaker view. I want to look at the gallery view for a second. Hi, okay, there we go. Oh, there's the speaker view. Okay. Um, all right. So I started the magical eight ball of love teleclasses, I don't know, a decade ago, because sometimes, you know, I leave these um topic-driven calls. But uh, you know, and I'm gonna give you some dating tips. I want to do a little catch-up about the pandemic being post-pandemic, what I feel like has happened to the dating culture as a result of going through what we just went through. Uh, there's upsides and downsides to the experience that we've all had, and um also to share some amazing love stories that have happened with all of you. And then I also do want to answer your calls and um uh your questions. And so if you did not write in a question for tonight's class and you have anything that you would like to ask me, please feel free to put that in the chat now and we will uh I will get to them. Okay, so without further ado. Okay, so here we go. Welcome to the magic eight ball of love telecall. And if you've been wondering when my complimentary magic eight ball of love live calls, which are now Zooms, would return, I am so thrilled to say that we are back. Uh, and during the 60-minute live Zoom, what we are going to be doing is answering, you know, pressing questions that you have, if you've got any romantic reports from the field, uh, if you've made surprising discoveries, if you've noticed that things have changed during the past couple of years with your dating life, I'm sure that things have changed, or if you have stopped, completely stopped doing romantic research altogether. Uh, you know, that's what this call is for. This is a community call for support. And um, you'll also get the opportunity to do what I call one-on-one hot seat love coaching during this call. Um, if you'd like to be private when you're doing one-on-one hot seat love coaching, all you have to do is raise your hand. And uh, and you obviously can, you know, Zoom has a setting where you can actually remove your name if you would feel more comfortable doing that. But when we do this, um, I will just kind of use your first name and then we can, you know, I'm gonna have you unmute so that we can, you know, interact one-on-one. Okay, and some, you know, if these are touchy subjects, it's a good thing to put in chats. Uh, and you can also ask me to answer this as an anonymous question, which I can read aloud and respond to without you having to chime in, and it'll be our little secret. So without further ado, I'm gonna start sharing a little bit. Oh, Alisa, thank you. She just said I look beautiful. Thanks, Lisa. Um, okay. Oh my god. All right, so way back in 2020. I'm gonna roll you way, way back. Way back in 2020. This is really what happened. Okay, so I'm just gonna catch you up. So but in 2019, I led something called the Diva Tour to Italy, which was the most um, it was the last great trip uh for me before the shutdown. Uh, eight women went with me to uh on this romantic tour to uh Italy. We went to Milan, we went to Venice, Tuscany, and Florence. And it was so magical. Uh, you know, we did photo shoots, uh, you know, we did the Veronica Franco tour of Venice, who is a great courtesan who was also an attorney and oh a writer, and also is in two paintings in the Doges Palace and did save Venice by having sex with the king of France. Uh, but you know, the the uh it was such a magnificent trip. And we came back and then the floods happened, and then everything shut down. And I remember at that time going, oh my God, dear God, what is going to happen? Uh, not only to, you know, life as we know it, but what's gonna happen to my girls? What's going to happen to my girls? So I launched something called the ring. And in the ring, I immediately was like, I need to be of service. A lot of women are alone during the pandemic. And, you know, I don't know if I can see a show of hands. How many of you were open were alone during the pandemic? Okay. A lot of you were. Um, and uh yeah, and you can even put your hand up on the zoom, and then you can also put it down. Um, Lisa, that's a very cute photo of you, by the way, that's on the Zoomy. Um Okay, so a lot of people were alone. Look at all those hands during the pandemic. And one of the things that um one of the things that one of the things that I think that everybody learned during the pandemic is that life is short, right? It forced everyone into, you know, to reflect on their mortality, which is something that people often do when like somebody loses a parent, someone loses somebody very close to them, or somebody is in a near-death experience, like a terrible accident, but it threw the whole world into a state of consciousness about how precious life is. And there were a lot of people who it was kind of like it was like kind of musical chairs, and all of a sudden the music stopped, and you found yourself with whomever you found yourself with. And if you were alone, you found yourself alone. So I launched this class, and um this class was so uh inspirational to me. It was so moving, and we really talked about how to, you know, all of the dating skills that people would need, but specifically how to navigate the pandemic. And um, I remember I had a client who we literally, uh, literally, it was so impressive because really, you know, online dating and app dating, which had become kind of a very rough climate, right? Where men refused to get online. It's like if you people were literally texting, and if you just didn't meet them online without any communication, there was no you were just ghosted. So the big change that happened in the internet dating space and in the dating app space, really what really occurred was people dropped in and had really meaningful conversations. And the thing that I've been coaching my clients to do for years was to never agree to a date without actually getting to some speak to speak to somebody on the phone before you actually meet in person. So for everybody that's dating on dating apps and for everybody that gets ghosted, you know, is getting ghosted. How many of you feel like you get ghosted? How many of you are getting ghosted a lot? Can you raise your hands? Okay. I'm seeing that my magnets and my ring girls are not raising their hands. Interesting. They're not raising their hands. Okay, because they are screening. They're doing screening phone calls. Would you give me a thumbs up if that's true? Does anybody want to give any feedback? Debbie, would you like to give some feedback about this? Can you unmute? Oh wow. Uh I'm gonna I'm glad to see you because I have been thinking of you and I need to do a magnet, I need to do a makeover, I need you to guide me because you're the only one who really I have faith in. Um, it's been a tough few years for me. My dad died recently of COVID, my uncle died, my aunt died. I have I'm surrounded by grief the last few years. But before that, um, Lauren is fabulous. Everything she says, she's the only one I would really trust. Totally 100%. I mean uh she cares the deepest about you. She has your heart in her hand always. Always. Oh, I love you, sweetheart. Well, here's a good new. Okay, so here is the good news. The good news, and I didn't pay her to say that. She paid me. Um so here's the thing, and I'm gonna come back to you in one second. So stay unmuted for a second, but this is okay, so this is like my big okay. This is actually there, I'm gonna share something that I wasn't gonna share till the end of the call. I am doing my first live magnets again in two and a half years. I'm doing one in Los Angeles on November 18th, nine, I think 17th, 18th, and 19th. And then I'm doing one in Florida February 17th, 18th, and 19th. That'll do. Okay, so if you and anybody that's on this call, you're gonna get like a little invite in about 10 minutes at 6:30. And you will be able to get a $500 discount uh off of it. And the promo code is Hot Pants. You can't really sign up for these. I have to interview you. So if you are interested, just fill out an application and everybody that's been a magnet of mine or is in this class or was in the ring gets first dibs because they're gonna, they're already half, they're halfway sold out. I haven't even promoted them. But perfect. Debbie, I will see you soon. You will definitely see me soon, but I want coaching along with it. I want the whole thing because nobody does it like you. These pictures are fabulous, and I mean fabulous. The clothes, it's uh it changes your life. You you literally feel like you are a princess, and the level of men you meet are different, it's it's just a different experience. It is like, yeah, it's kind of like it's like a Cinderella experience. So I want to, so but here's what I want to ask you. So the my favorite um, you know, so one of the things that's very difficult for women, and I'm gonna get to some questions in a second, but one of and this is in response because somebody said, What's wrong with men? I'm getting ghosted all of the time. And um, you know, whenever I really get in depth, whenever I really ask women what is happening, what they usually say is they're texting, and then they're setting up a time to make their dating, they're setting up a date, and then the guy doesn't call. The guy just disappears. Or I had in a really amazing phone call, uh, you know, sorry, text exchange, and then he just disappeared. So one of the things that I want to say is that what did happen during the pandemic is that men became very willing to talk to women on the phone, like in the good old days, right? In 1922, 2002, right? Before, you know, Tinder, right? People used to talk on the phone before texting became a thing. I really think that Steve Jobs and the iPhone has a lot to answer for because the text feature really stopped people needing to pick up the phone. Done a lot of good, but it's been it's been a little downside. So uh this willingness to to speak to to speak to somebody on the phone and even FaceTime with somebody on the phone has been an incredible boon. So if you are getting ghosted, the best, the best way to deal with it is before you agree to meet, just say, if somebody's setting up, like I'd love to meet, just go, that sounds fantastic. Why don't you give me a call and we can make a plan? And then I always coach women to use burner phones, right? And you can use a little nickname. You don't have to don't use your real first and last name. And then you can chat with him on the phone and see if, you know, a lot of times we can we really get a vibe or a sense of who somebody is by their tone of voice. And, you know, sometimes we just have like incredible flow. Like they could sometimes people can write really beautifully, but they just don't communicate well with words uh that are coming out of their mouth. Sometimes people are shy, and sometimes you just don't have any chemistry, or sometimes you just don't like the sound of their voice. So one of the things that does happen is a lot of women get stuck on calls. I had a question about this that somebody sent in, you know, how do you get rid of these guys? They just want to talk and talk and talk, and I can't get rid of them. And Debbie set up. Debbie came up with one of the greatest ways to get off the phone. Now, I will tell you what my tip is. My tip was to just say, Bob, it's been so fantastic talking to you. I do have to run, but thanks so much for taking the time to say hi. Thanks so much for taking the time to say hi. And then hang up. That's literally all. And if the guy goes, Whoa, whoa, whoa, well, can I talk to you again? You know, can we can we get together? You can say, you know, thank you so much for asking. I'm just not feeling that little click. Not feeling that little click that I want to feel. And nobody can deny that. So Debbie, Debbie, you know, in one of our classes came up with something that was extremely fun. So the guy was going on and on and on. And Debbie, can you uh can you share with everybody what um what you did? I put the microwave on and I stood there and then it went off. And I just said, oh look, I have to go now. The food is ready. Bye. She would literally like like make the bell click. Ding, my soup is ready. I've got to run. Okay. And there's one thing that Lauren has taught me, and I have to say it's probably it's little, but it's huge. You taught me to put a little emoji when I correspond by text. It's so lovely to hear your, I would love to hear your voice, or it would be lovely to hear your voice. You always told me to put a butterfly or a flower, just something. And you know how many compliments that got? That little thing was huge. So yeah, so so basically taking the taking the um, you know, the the hard thing for people is to make the dating experience feel personal. Like, how do you how do you feel like a person, you know, um, you know, a real person on the other end of the line? The reality is people are hungry for connection. And so what did happen during the pandemic was that everybody got thrown into this place of like, oh, you know, if they were single, there was this feeling of like deep isolation and lack of connection. And we really craved it. We were sitting at home, like, right, watching the TV, trying to figure out like how to not die of COVID. And, you know, is that Frito's bag gonna, you know, it's the Kate McKinnon joke, you know, what did you do? You know, I was, you know, disinfecting my bag of Fritos. It was so stressful. And the PTSD of coming out of that was so stressful that the human interaction that happened on Match.com and on dating apps like Bumble and Hinge and all of them was really a lifeline. And I had many clients who got uh really fell in love during that period of time. And some brave souls, uh, you know, I literally we literally had one gal in the ring, uh, which was a, I don't know, I think it was like a six-month teleclass. I did it like every week. It was like super cheap. I just did it because I wanted it to be public service. But I remember the first date of the entire group happened in a parking lot. She met him in a parking lot at Target, I think, or Walmart. And then the next time they had a date, they met in the parking lot at the pharmacy. And I was like, well, it sounds like things are really heating up, things are really progressing. So um, so the big tip right now, Loretta remembers that that was hilarious. Okay, so I'm gonna just say if you have any questions, I'm gonna get to some questions right now. Please put them in our chat. And um, I'm gonna move on to our second question. And I don't know if Stella is still here. She was calling from London, and I'm sorry because it promised that I was gonna answer your call first. Okay, Stella. Hi. Hi, cutie. So your question says that you feel like a dinosaur when it comes to men in dating. You feel completely out of touch. How do you get back into dating in your 50s? The last time you went on a date or had sex was in 2011. Oh my goodness, we need to get you going. You've been single since then and not playing in the field at all. Okay, cutie pie. Okay. So so do you mind kind of ill uh illuminating some things? Okay, so when you when you stopped dating, were you married? Did you were you suddenly single? No, no, I haven't been in a relationship for a very long time, for two decades actually. I just I just pulled out of it, just wrote men off um about 20 years ago. I just wrote them off for like oh done with guys because all of my experiences were not very good. But then uh obviously you get lonely and for time to time you think, oh, maybe I should try it. So I'd go on one or two dates and then it doesn't work out, so I'd stop again. That's it, really. That's been the pattern. Okay. So you shut down, you shut down two like two decades ago. Mm-hmm. Okay. Um, so the thing have and have you been dating online, sweetie, or I did date online um off and on, uh, but not not really, because I obviously without information, which I'm which I knew about you a lot sooner, without really understanding on how to navigate dating online, you just get people saying hi, hi, or sending you strange pictures of themselves and wanting you to hook up with them. And that's not what I'm interested in. Okay, good, good. Okay, so here is the good news, Stella, is that there is a wealth of on of information for you. And my specialty is really I'm an a dating coach with a specialty in what I call cyber dating, which covers online dating, uh, you know, like with dating sites like with match.com and uh dating apps. And I have a program called Dating Aptitude and the Secrets of Swiping Right. I just rebuilt my entire website. So some of these programs are not available, but some of these are just for purchase, as they're gonna be available like in the next two weeks, um, as podcast programs that you can download and uh video programs that you can download that will walk you through how to write your profile, how to respond. I think, I think dating, mating, and manhandling the book would be that's just like a primer that everybody should have that you can get from my site. I know that somebody did ask if you could get the paperback, and you can from it's on Amazon, and you can select a paperback edition, and we are going to be actually because we had a run on them, so we are going to get more as well. Um, but I think that you know, taking some taking some classes with me about learning how to uh, you know, date. Uh also have a great cyber flirt program about how to, you know, take at-home photos and write your profile. So and the magnets, of course, are in-person seminars. So there's a lot of information for you uh here. And so I think it's just learning how to put your best foot forward, right? And learning how to say what to say and what to do, and how to feel confident when you are moving, you know, it's it's it's really interesting. I work with a lot of women who are suddenly single, right? Something happens, like their spouse dies, or they get a divorce, or you know, they wind up, you know, being a single parent that winds up raising children, and then all of a sudden women decide to date. And what's very confusing is the dating, the datescape, whenever you left off dating, when you pick it up, things are different. Things are different right now. That's why kind of started with a pandemic. And the thing that's interesting, you know, I'll just circle back again. The thing that's really interesting is that men now are, you know, I think it's been a permanent change that men, everybody is really willing to get on the phone. And even Bumble has like, you know, you can do a little phone talk, you know, you can talk through the app. Um, I encourage people to get burner numbers so that you've got a phone number because people do want to start texting you and they want to transition to a more intimate way of communicating. So I really encourage you to take one of my classes, Miss Stella. Thank you. Okay. And you can email me, email email us um after the call directly and uh let us know. Um, and we can even set up a little mini consult. We can talk about like what might be the best. We'll send you some options and things that might be really good for you. I'm great. Yeah, I'm also gonna be doing, you know, so what I did before the pandemic, I'm gonna be rebooting. So um, you know, I'm I am doing, you know, uh, I'm calling them love magnet makeovers. And you actually will, I think right now, right around now, be receiving a little invite to um check out what those programs are. Those are four-day, you know, boot camps for love that are do them at the Hollywood Roosevelt in LA. And then we're gonna be doing them in Miami uh in February, and they're just a ball, uh, like Debbie was talking about. Um, and you'll see amazing before and afters and testimonials, and it's just a literally joyous experience, and it just ups your confidence. Uh, and you will feel inspired and excited, and you'll also meet incredible women that you will want to know for the rest of your life. They're amazing. Um, and I'm also gonna be doing a uh, I'm gonna relaunch a version of the ring, which is going to be a pro a dating program. Uh, one, you know, and that will that'll be launching sometime in the spring. And I am gonna be doing a tour to Paris because that was supposed to happen in 2020. So we're gonna be setting those dates. Um fantastic coming to Europe. Yeah, what dates do you have the dates for that? We are gonna be posting them. We're gonna be posting them next week. Okay. And then, you know, for the gals that have been magnets, um, I am starting something called Lauren's Love Club. I didn't mean to make this into a sales call, but it's just here we are. So, yeah, so we're just I'm starting Lauren's Love Club, and that is going to be for women who have taken a man magnet makeover andor the ring, you know, or have privately coached with me. And we are going to be meeting at fabulous places as a group to go flirting in the field. So we're going to go to places like Davos, the Concourse de Legance, there are amazing boating shows. This is going to be an international program where, you know, I might not be at every event, but we are going to have groups of women that you can meet with and interact with and plan to do amazing fun things like the Aspen Ideas Festival. There are amazing, you know, they're amazingly fun, the PGA tours. So if you are interested, one of the things that I know is that a lot of my clients have disposable income and they want to run, they want to meet people, right? But finding women, you know, it's one thing to go on a tour, but finding women to go and actually do really fun things with and travel with and you know, meet men, you know, women that actually know how to be wing wing women are very valuable assets. Okay, so that's coming up. All right, I'm gonna go to another question. Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you, honey. Oh, Loretta is coming to see us in February. I love it. If you want to do a magnet, if you're interested in the magnets, please put your name in the chat. Okay, hold on. Okay, here is an anonymous question. How do I get in the game in mid at mid-40s after not being in a sexual relationship for the majority of my life? I'm an academic. Up until now, I found love and calm in research and books, which became my comfort zone. Now that I want a relationship with a man, I'm afraid that being afraid of the okay, I'm afraid that being afraid of the sexual thing will push me back into my books and start shopping for cats. Do I fake being confident? Or is there a better way? Thank you for your generous generosity and assistance. Okay, this is such a great question. Okay. Here's what I want to say to you is that there are more men and women than you can imagine that are virgins that have not had sex, and or if they have had sex, they haven't had sex in a very long time and just aren't confident about how to be sensual and how to be intimate. And one of the things that's like the biggest um one of the things that I do is I give women tools so that you can set really good boundaries with men about how fast you're willing to go. And I always say that a person that can't say no, a woman that can't say no has a very hard time saying yes. So when you don't know how to slow a man's role, if you don't know how to stop uh intimacy in a clear way, um, and a lot of women don't, right? A lot of women fall into the category of being nice. And being nice is actually really dangerous for women. There's like a book by uh written by this man, Gavin De Becker, called The Gift of Fear. And one of the things that happens to women that get attacked and assaulted, a lot of those women, a lot of men will go, Oh, I'm just lost. Can you help me figure out where I'm going? Right. They prey on there they're counting on you being nice and not wanting to make a scene. So one of the there's a lot of different tangents to the conversation that I'm that I'm saying right now. And I know that that doesn't seem like it's a direct response to you being afraid of the sexual thing. But here's what I want to say there are many cats to adopt in the world, right? However, there's also a lot of men that would love to be with a brilliant, academic, smart woman. And I think that a lot of men uh would be delighted to be that person that you got to have that experience with. So I'm gonna read this question again. How do I get in the game mid-40s after not being in a sexual relationship for the majority of my life? Now, she's not saying that she's never been in a sexual relationship, but for the majority of her life. So she's an academic, she found love and calm in research and books. So I'm sound it's sounding like you had like a little bit of I don't know if you had a uh bad experience uh with sexual intimacy. I'm assuming that you did, um uh in some way. And now you want a relationship with a man, you're afraid that being afraid of the sexual thing will push you back into the books and start shopping for cats. So, what I'm gonna say to you is that um dating, dating doesn't mean that you're having sex with people. Dating is about getting to know people, and so a great, you know, I think that especially for somebody that is, you know, I coached a lot of virgins. And um, what's really important is to learn how to be emotionally intimate. That's rule number one. And I think it's great for women. I mean, I coach women who are self-proclaimed, you know, they'll they'll be happy to, they're they're very sexually experienced, right? Um, I've worked with women in my coaching that are polyamorous, that have multiple lovers at one time. So the thing about my coaching is that it's more I am moral neutral. My coaching works for whatever, you know, your religious beliefs might be, whatever your sexual beliefs might be, you know, preferences might be. And the the most important thing is that you understand what it is that you're trying to solve for. So if you're trying to solve for creating an epic love or an incredible marriage, right? Um, the way that you communicate about what your relationship goals are online or when you're on the phone with men or when you're in person with men, you know, you can literally say, you know, I am really looking for my person. And it's really important to me that I feel a close emotional and spiritual and mental connection before I um, you know, develop an intimate physical relationship. And you can say, and I understand that that might not be your your thing, but I understand that a lot of people are on a much, much faster physical track. But for me, it's really important for me to have that heart connection and that soul connection with somebody. You can say, I'm looking for heart level love or a soul level love. And that will help. And whoever, you know, is anonymous, I I that's a really good way to communicate about it because what we want to do is we want to, whatever, whatever boundary we need to set, there's always a way of saying it that encourages and inspires connection and a deepening of interaction and not a rejection of the person, right? So, for example, there are some men, like the thing that would not work for you is if a guy started sexting you. Like, for and first of all, what I want to say is for most of my magnets, men don't do that. Like when you when you put a really classy, beautiful uh profile up that makes you look like you're expensive, like you have high self-esteem, and that's written with clear relationship goals, men tend to not screw with you, right? Men tend to approach you with a lot of respect. Is there anybody that's taken any of my classes that kind of wants to chime in about that? It's totally true. Totally. Every single word. It's it's it's like they are trying to please you. You're the queen on top, and they're trying to court you in a way. There is no low classness. Right. So it's like we set, you know, what I do is I teach you how to set the tone, right? So the tone that, you know, you but that's something that you need to learn how to do. That's something that my programs will teach you how to do. Um uh oh, Loretta said great classes. There's so many out there who are trying to take us into polyamory. So one of the things that's really important, um one of the things really important is to clearly state your relationship goals with men. If you're on a dating app, one of the things that women don't do, they forget to do, is to say, I'm looking for a magnificent marriage. You know, I'm looking for, you know, an epic, monogamous partnership. Right? And a lot of women are afraid of putting that information out because they don't want to scare men off. But I always say you want to scare the wrong men off. And, you know, by not communicating, women are women have really been trained to like not communicate. I work with the most powerful women in the world. They have planes, trains, Oscars, Emmys, Grammys, um, Fortune 500 companies, like ballers. And but when it comes to their personal lives, they have a hard time finding their words. Because this language, you know, this relationship language is not something that most of us were taught. In fact, none of us were really taught it. And, you know, it's something that's that we've really had to kind of cobble together. So it got cobbled together from Cosmo magazine, right? When we were young, I was a Cosmo reader. And then, you know, there were there'd been some self-help books, but really, like a lot of the work that I've done has been around how to have self-esteeming, clear, but romantic communication with men. So um, I also talk a lot about creating romance, and so romance is its own love language, right? A lot of women and men talk to people in work mode, or a lot of men will talk to women in like sex mode. It's like the Got an on and an off switch, but they don't know the romance and the court, you know, they're missing the courtship. Um, what I do want to say is that when a man really falls for a woman, they all know how to behave. So if a guy is just sexting you or being rude, he knows how he's supposed to be behaving. And he's just not behaving that way with you. So never give men a hall pass for being too sexually when they're speaking with you. And if you're not comfortable, the best way of dealing with it is you can literally say, I, if you like, if you like a guy and he wants to take things further than you do. Number one, to the gal that just asked that anonymous question, just meet men in public places. You're gonna do phone calls first, you can do FaceTimes second, just to make sure that you like the way that they look and that they, you know, and you both mutually agree. And if you like them on the phone, let's say, you can say, you know, I'm having so much fun talking. I think I'd feel really comfortable meeting in person. And then you just meet them in person. And then I've got so many tips about how to do a great date. I'm not going to get into that here because that question wasn't asked. But if they get too pushy or too aggressive, all you have to do is just go, oh, I just I appreciate your enthusiasm. But I am uh, you know, I'm enjoying just getting to know you. I need to go a little slower. And one of the ways that you can tell if a man's the right person for you is he'll be listening because the good guy is going to want to please you. Nice men want to please you. And there's two kinds of men in this world: men that want to get pleased, and men that want to please you. So we want to date only men that want to please you. Okay. So there's a lot of little things that you can say and do to make sure that you feel really comfortable. And then when you communicate, um, you know, there are really fun ways of sharing that you don't have that experience or that it's been a really long time and that you need to go slowly. And that's you're the kind of woman that I think needs to feel like the guy's in love with you before you make love. And I will tell you, I told this to my uh stepdaughter when she was young. I said to her, Sarah, the boy that you may have sex with for the first time is someone you're gonna remember for the rest of your life. So make sure that he loves you. Make sure that he loves you. Okay. I hope that helps. All right, she just got married and is having a baby. I'm so excited. I just went back to New York City and threw her baby shower, which was also a surprise engagement party, and she just got married at the courthouse. We're gonna have a big party. She's gonna have a baby any second. Okay. So if anybody has any questions, please put it in the chat. And I'm gonna take, I've got a couple more questions that were written in. All right, are you gals enjoying this class? If you are amused, you can go hell. Yes, hell yeah. Hell yeah. I loved my teleclasses. You know what I mean? They were a little more anonymous and people were just like very bawdy. Um, okay, yay. Okay, so let's see. Here is another question. Okay, this is from Anda. She said, I want to first say thank you for your book. Back in she got it in 2006. She bought my book and studied it. She went out and started to interview the guys, just as I had explained in the book, and she learned how to do how to get into a committed relationship. Then she wrote, funny enough, four years later, she became a coach. And after being a business coach for two years, she decided she'd do the love coaching. Amazing. And that was in 2012. She became a successful love coach in Spain, working with thousands of women all over the world. She put her business online, and then after six years, she started to teach how to track your soulmate. I want Anda, and I have got to have a chat. She has this theory about twin flames and soulmates. Shortly after, I think she thinks she met her twin flame, but she's still not sure. And she would like to ask my opinion about these two concepts of twin flame and soulmate. Do I think the twin flames exist? Um, she said thanks you, thank you again for your amazing book. It was life-changing for her, and she really enjoyed reading and applying it. Okay, so the thing about twin flames and soulmates. Here is what I believe. I believe that life is, I believe that love is magic. I believe that when two people meet, it's like timing, right? It's like the stars have to line up. And, you know, a lot of times people meet people who they fall fall madly in love with, and it's just the timing is wrong. He's married, uh, you know, you're married, uh, you know, he just got hit by a bus, right? Uh, you know, there's some issue, but sometimes people meet people, and you know, I think that the biggest thing about creating an epic relationship is that both people have to have the same relationship goals. They have to both want the same kind of lifestyle. They both have to um, you know, really want the same life, right? And habits are the make it or break it of most relationships, believe it or not. Like he's a morning person, you're a night person, he's uh, you know, a meat eater, you're a vegan or opposite. You know, you're Jewish, he's Mormon, right? It's like, but if you you've gotta have, you've gotta have like some of the basics, I call them compatibility coordinates in alignment so that things work. And um you both have to, I always say that getting into a relationship is like getting into the cockpit of an aeroplane. If he wants to go to Argentina and you want to go to Paris, somebody's getting hijacked or the plane's gonna crash, right? So if you both want the same thing and if you're both at the same life stage, and if you are both emotionally free and clear, that that is I don't I don't know that that's being a soulmate. I think that that's just amazing timing and two people being on the same wavelength. And then we add to that compatibility, we add to that chemistry, we add to that, you know, sexual, you know, enjoyment and sensibility. There's so many things going on, but I will I will tell you this. I have been with people who I have felt were soulmates personally, and I have also coached people who feel like they've met their soulmate. And one of the hallmarks of being a soulmate is you like the same little weird things. Now, this can be a really tricky thing because just because you've been with a soulmate doesn't mean you're supposed to be married to that person. Sometimes there are karmic relationships, if you believe in those kinds of things, where it's just people have, and if we take all the woo-woo out of it, sometimes people just have things that they need to work out that really this partner really allows you to do, right? You both get to work out what I call dovetailing. There's like something called dovetailing patterns where it's like, let's say you um always attract unavailable men because your father was unavailable, right? These are just relationship patterns. And you might pull in somebody who is a love avoidant who was smothered by their mother, right? So whenever you get needy because he's not available, he feels really smothered and he pulls farther away. That's called a dovetailing pattern. Now, I don't know that we would call that a soulmate relationship. Um, but you could have a lot in common with a person that you have a dovetailing relationship pattern with. So there's very, there's there is so many, there's a lot of complexity to finding the right person. Um this twin flame idea, like this soulmate idea that there is one person that can complete your soul. Uh, you know, I don't know. I think that sometimes there might be quite a few people that can complete your make you feel like they're your other half. It's just how far down the road do you walk with that person? And we're living in a time where people are living a lot longer, right? A lot longer. Like back in King Arthur's day, everybody was dead at 30, right? 40, like Shakespeare's time. Some people live to ripe old age, but most people were, you know, goners by in their 40s, right? 30s, 40s. So we are living a lot longer. And then also we're evolving as people. So to think that, you know, so there that's why with with my coaching, um, you know, I get a lot of people who, you know, uh were in significant relationships and then were out of them and then are like, okay, I'm a different woman now. You know, okay, I was sleeping with him, it was amazing, and then the sex stopped after I had kids. There's so many different things that can happen. So I think the soulmate question, I think is sometimes I've heard that soulmates are people that you have to work out karma with, and it doesn't mean that you're supposed to actually be with them. But that you come in to try it again, and then if you both both haven't done your work, then um the the relationship is not meant to be, and you get to really complete it in this lifetime. You get to you get to do a real walk away. It's like unfinished business from another time, and then the twin thing, twin flame thing, I don't really understand. I haven't studied it, so I can't really speak to it, but I love all of these ideas about love. And this is a great thing about romance. Romance is like the thing that inspires, it's like, you know, our brains light up, like as if they're on drugs when we fall in love with people. It is an altered state, right? People that fall in love have their own special nicknames, their own special holidays. Uh, it is like a delightful situation. My goal with my coaching is to help you get really clear about what you want to manifest. So I'm gonna give everybody in this class a little assignment. Okay. I want you to really take a moment, uh, not on this call, but I am gonna do some regular like free calls again because it's just I I want to gather my community together again. And um I want you to really create 10, you know, actionable items that you, you know, what if you could have anything that you wanted, what would it be? And what are you know, try to write 10 actionable items that will help you manifest that that particular goal? And if you can't come up with 10 actionable items, then just email me. Just say this is what I want to create. How can how can I get help? How can I get help manifesting this? We have another anonymous question. And before I do the anonymous anonymous question, I want to show you gals something. What is she on the screen? Hold on. One of the things that I did during the pandemic. Oh my god, look at that messy, messy, messy. Hold on. Okay, wait, I'm not sharing my screen right now because this is too horrible. Hold on. Hang on. I have a new Lauren Francis website. I also started manufacturing Love Script bath and body products. I don't know if any of you have been using my Mantrap perfume, which turned into Love Script perfume, which turned into me shipping like a half a million units of product. It's been insane. Um it's been so fun. Okay, hold on for one second. No, I'm not seeing it because my assistant didn't send it. You should have received an email, which is gonna say something like, Ready to become a magical love magnet and special offers. So hold on, let me see. I'm gonna show this to you like this. Okay, I'm gonna show this to you because it'll look something like this, but it won't be as groovy. Okay. And these are the dates and the locations. And then what you would need to do is to submit an application, which is super easy, and just let us know the best time for us to speak to you, and then submit. And then what will happen is we will get back to you with a calendy invitation, uh, so that you can schedule your call. Okay. There we go. So I just want to make sure that that got sent out to you. And um bum bum bum bum. And then for anybody that's new, you're all on my list, which is awesome. So you might not have gone to my website, and I just want to show you where to find some free things. So this is my new website, and then I'm gonna take some quick questions. So this is my new website, and uh uh uh right here we have seminars. So these we've got the magnet makeovers, very cute. Need a makeover, don't feel bad. Celebrities need professional stylists too. And this talks about what you'll get with a program, and these are amazing testimonials, Debbie. We're gonna have to get one from you. And this is my favorite line about online dating is like looking for love uh while you're shy, looking for Prada on eBay, and then you will see. Um, I mean, these are love letters that were sent literally. I say it's sent to my man magnets. This was sent to one man magnet when we launched her. Um, and this is a little clip. So all of these women are real women, took the program, love lives have been changed, and I actually am going to start adding new testimonials uh because I have so many of them. Um we are gonna be doing a boudoir mega magnet, uh, but we're not going to be, these are amazingly fun. Um, so it's a magnet, but then we do some boudoir photos as well. We're gonna be doing that next year. And then if you want to get some free podcasts, it's under digital programs, which is a little confusing. And then these are I've got the heartache prevention question how to date like an international spy and dating aptitude. So if you're new to my work, that's really fun. And then the books are right here. And then we got a bunch of testimonials. So that's that's where you can find um more information about me. Okay, we're gonna do one more question. Okay. Oh, and I do this this version of my ebook is the new updated version. So the new updated version of my ebook is uh available on my website. So just go to books and blogs and you'll be able to get it there. And I'm gonna have some hard copies and also some paperbacks in the upcoming near future. So let us know if you like those. Okay, Kelly's. Oh, all right, this is an anonymous question. Thank you for all of your help. I'm so excited to take your classes. I'm looking forward to your interactive ones. I'm newly 58. Congratulations. I want to be in an epic marriage. Now, I will tell you that marriages that happen in your 50s are everybody that I've gotten married in their 50s and 60s is still together. I do not have any divorces, and I've got a lot of people that I have helped get married. Okay, so people that get married in their 50s, 60s, it's a great age to look for a partner. The kids are out of the house, the ex-wife, it's really over. All of that drama is over. Okay, so hang on. Okay. She said, I'm nearly 58. I've been single and maybe dated here and there since forever. She was married in her 20s for two years. It wasn't love. She doesn't know why she even married. She knew it was okay. I knew it was for a green card for him, but I thought that since he chose me, he'd try, which was wrong. So she knew it was for so she knew that when she was getting married, it would, he didn't love her. It was for a green card, but she thought that it she could make him love me. I can't make you love me. It's like that Bonnie Raid song, I can't make you love me if you don't. I'm child-free, haven't dated since. Ever really shy, even no, even showing interest back in high school. Last sex was 1995. Ladies, okay, we're gonna talk about sex. I'm gonna be leading a class about sex. Uh-huh. There is something called the joylux every woman should know about. Mm-hmm. I don't go out and she doesn't meet men randomly. Two distinct times, men approached you in 2000 upon a phone call. I asked if they were single, both honestly shared they were separated. I said, just call me when you're free. Well, that was a good answer. I always become tongue-tied and shy when I'm attracted to a man. I can be so, so I can't, she said tally, but that's not when you're not interested. She can be so shy, I think, is what she's saying. I definitely need to feel guy loves me before I can make love to them. So here's the thing about sex. It's like, okay, sexual confidence and romantic confidence are definitely things that you can learn. They're definitely things that you can build up. I think that the most important thing is in learning how to date effectively and communicate and interact. And then the, you know, the sexual experience, there are definitely things that you can do to feel more sexually confident. I'm going to do a whole class on sex. How about that? Would that be fun? Okay. This is so fun. All right. Does anybody have any more questions? Raise your hand. Can you raise your hand in the chat? If anybody's got any more questions. Okay, my ladies, it has been so my ladies and yes, I have a question. Oh, sure. Does your new book post to the UK? Because it's not letting me click on it on your website. Say it again, sweetheart. A new edition of your book. It's not allowing me to click on it on your website. Do you? It's not. Okay. Would you do me a favor and email me? Because that should be that's just an email. That there's the we will we will make sure that you get that. Thanks for letting me know. So you ship to the UK. We're going to, I can send you the ebook, not the paperback. We don't have any paperbacks in stock right now. All right, thank you. So we're gonna be order, we'll be ordering them, but we can also let you know. But get the ebook, it's fun. Thank you. And if there is anybody, okay, so you just checked and you didn't receive the email. Hold on. Let me see what happened to Savannah. Hold on. I didn't get did anybody can somebody check their inbox and see if they got an email from me about the magnets. Deb, can you check? No, no, no email. Nothing new on you. After the uh the link for this. Has anybody received it? No. There's a no in the chat as well. Okay. It's coming. Okay, it will be there. If not in the next couple of minutes, it'll be there tonight or tomorrow morning. So just feel free to read it, look at it, and then if anybody is interested in the magnet, please email me. You know, and if you've got my cell phone, text me. And then we'll set up a little time to talk because they are filled, they're gonna fill up. I just mentioned them literally two days ago. And it's been a long time. It's been a long time. And the classes are gonna be a little, the groups are gonna be a little smaller, uh, just because of COVID. And we're gonna use, we're using like film protocols. So everybody's gonna need to take a COVID test each day. And you know, my staff gets PCR tested and all of that, all of that. And then I'm Loretta, I want to see you in February. I am so excited. All right, my loves. So that completes that completes our our little uh eight ball call. I was a little rusty, but I'm just gonna say I'm hoping I did okay. It was just like so, I'm so excited. I'm so excited to see you and to uh get back in the saddle and just share all the fun stuff that I have coming up. Okay. All right. So uh my favorite way of ending these classes is to uh repeat after me uh by saying onward ho. So are everybody if they can please unmute. Everybody unmute and on the count of three, we're gonna say onward hoe. Are you ready? One, two, three. Thank you for joining the romantic revolution. And here's to an epic 2022 for the rest of the year and having a ball in 2023. Yeah, okay. Here's to everybody finding their person. Thank you. Thank you. Lots of love. Oh, Celia, Loretta. I'm gonna send you a message because I I've been seeing, I've been, I've loved seeing your emails and you launched a book, sweetheart. And I just recently met a magnificent man. I'm just I'm gonna send you a text about him. Oh my god. She okay, this woman, Celia, is on the Love Mag page. There is a video testimonial of her. You can see her four. You had the most incredible transformation, and so did you, Deb. I need a whole redo. I'll see you in February, though. Doing it, doing it. All right, I love you, ladies, and Loretta. February, February, February, yes. If I can move heaven and earth, it's gonna be so good. Yeah, I'm so excited. All right, my loves. Have a fantastic night and thank you so much for spending time with me. And I can't wait to see you super soon. Thank you. Love, yeah, bye.