Time Management Dating Tips for Busy Women! (How to Stop Wasting Your Time With the Wrong Men)

You DESERVE gratitude, devotion, and bodice ripping romance. Today, kick back, relax, and eat up your "How to Stop Dating Turkeys & Time Management Skills for Busy Women!" Podcast, while nibbling on another piece of pie! 🥧

( And please don’t forget to thank the powers that be for everything that you’re grateful for today! It’s a wonderful way to remember how wonderful your life truly is, no matter HOW annoying your overcooked turkey might be! ;-)

 Happy Thanksgiving, Baby!

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Transcript

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Can you all hear me, ladies? If you can hear me say hell yeah. Hold on. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Good evening. Are you all ready? We're gonna have fun. Ready? One, two, three. Here we go. Okay. All right. Here we go. All right. Good evening, ladies, and welcome to Lauren's Love Scripts, my new podcast where I'm going to give you all of the secrets to dating, mating, swiping right, and creating an epic bodice ripping, soul satisfying, stiletto shaking love life. Okay. Um so on our call this evening, we are going to be talking about the perils of duty dating and getting targeted dating skills for the successful, busy woman, because I know you are all really busy. And um what we're gonna talk about is how to find lovebirds instead of wasting your precious time on turkeys and how to not waste your time with lame ducks. Okay, and you know, as a busy uh professional working woman, which most of my clients are, or women who have their hands full with kids at home, uh if you've uh been married and are separated or divorced, um, you know, the the enemy of uh the modern woman who's back in the dating field is really time mismanagement. And one of the big challenges that a lot of women have is that they can find dating on dating apps and on dating sites completely um, you know, frustrating and it can be turned it into a terrible time suck. You can wind up in a black hole. Um, and and it's I'm gonna talk to you about why it's so important to protect your time. And as I uh share about in the newsletter that accompanied accompanied this call that let you know about this call, I talked about um why going out, you know, I said that, you know, I know that you'll never leave the house wearing mismatched stilettos. So why would so many single women drag themselves out of the house on a cold winter night to meet a very improbable mismatched date? And, you know, if you're the kind of dater that keeps attracting lame ducks or wild turkeys, you know that low-value mismatched dating is demoralizing, it's depressing, and it will definitely make you wish that you just stayed at home, reorganizing your makeup drawer, your sock drawer. I love going through my lingerie, I just did that recently, or trying on all of your winter pants. So if you are spending more time missing than hitting romantic targets, which are what I call high quality first dates and beyond, then you are probably doing a ton of duty dating, which is a practice that I definitely do not recommend. And I'm going to explain to you what duty dating is. And you know, when I work with clients, actually what inspired me to do this particular call was I was working with a client who was brand new to my work, and um uh she was going out on all these randoms. She called them randoms, and so these were men that were just kind of like showing up in her inbox and uh, you know, on on Tinder actually and on match.com. And she was just going out with them and she was getting really exhausted and she was really depressed. I said, What's wrong? And I said, Oh, well, you know, just these guys are like, you know, not educated enough or not from the same socioeconomic background that I am, or you know, just he wasn't fun. And um uh and I said, Well, why were you meeting them? And she said, Well, you know, uh, you know, I just I was told that I should do something called duty dating, which is actually goes back, I believe, even to the nineties. I think it's a term that um the marvelous uh and great Pat Allen wrote a book called Getting to I Do, which uh was but it was written many, many years ago, and she never had to date on match or bumble or tinder. God bless her. I think she had five she's had five marriages, she's amazing, she's an amazing uh woman. But you know, a lot of that uh advice uh that women are being given has just been like kind of this hand-me-down advice, and truthfully, your therapists, your parents, your best friends that are married, uh, you know, really want you to be happy. They want you to be married, and um uh they want to make sure that you're not going to be alone after they die, which is something that a lot of parents, you know, they definitely just want to see you married. They don't want to have to worry about you. And so duty dating, this is my definition of duty dating, okay? It's you know, number one, you aren't really that into a suitor, but you love the concept of being with someone, so you think, screw it, what the heck? And you wind up on another bad, sad, or mind-numbingly boring first, second, or third date, which sometimes can turn into a sad, bad, or very boring relationship if you aren't very, very careful. Or your parents, as I said, well-meaning married friends or supportive therapists encourage you to get back out there or stop being so picky. So you're just giving a few random turkeys a go, and you know, if you've been told to stop being so picky and to just get back out there, what I want to tell you is that um that that line of coaching makes me want to set my hair on fire and just makes you want to grab a cleaver. So I do not want you to stop being picky and I don't want you to just accept a lot of boring dates because here, you know, this is like you know, a big thing that I want you to understand is that lowering your lowering, feeling like you are lowering you need to low lower your standards to create love is not true. Okay, lowering your standards will make you accept dates. I always say we women are not moo's. It's not like a one size fits all proposition. The biggest problem that most women have is that their standards are not high enough. And when women um, you know, if you're over, truthfully, if you're over 30 years old and you are still single and you are looking for a partner, you know, everybody has been heartbroken. Everybody that's back in the dating field, if you've been married and divorced, um, or if you have had a significant real long-term relationship, everybody's got their heart broken. Everybody's gotten incredibly disappointed, and everybody has uh, you know, suffered some kind of like, you know, kind of come to Jesus moment where you've gone, oh wow, you know, this kind of whatever I thought that I was creating didn't work. The relationship for some reason didn't sustain. So what we have are a lot of daters, male and female, that are kind of dumping back into the dating pool. And um, you know, everybody's a little wounded, everybody's a little banged up. And I always say that men that you meet on first dates, everybody's a car salesman, they know m how many uh, you know, used car salesmen. So they know how many wrecks they've been in, uh, relationship wrecks, they know how many years they've rolled back on the odometer. And their job is to basically go pick me, please. And I have a lot of dating tips about how to date successfully, um, you know, and how to kind of see into uh see underneath the hood, so to speak, without them taking their pants off. You can actually see underneath the hood, just while you're sitting across the table from them. So uh, you know, those are all how to date like an international spy uh techniques, and I'll I'll share a couple of them on the call this evening. Um I'm also gonna answer and do some Q ⁇ A of some amazing questions that you sent in. Uh and if you do want to ask some questions, feel free to write them to me on the web uh so I can answer them during the call. All right, so but the thing is, is that, you know, the very first thing that I want to tell you is that um, you know, if you've had a lot of dating disappointments, if you don't feel particularly secure uh about your dating skills or your ability to attract what you want, a lot of women um work with me that are over 40 and all of a sudden they're feeling older and they're starting to date um at a completely different life stage and their dating skills and their dating habits aren't concurrent with their actual age. So the dating skills that you got when you were 16, 18, 25, the last time you were single will not really work. Although I will say wearing uh a low-cut top is wonderful at any age. So keep doing that and also still let us, you know, it's like waving uh, you know, red meat in front of a hungry dog. It's just those are cues. It's a I'm a female and I enjoy my femininity. Um, but you can also be feminine wearing a lower heel, like I I even got a beautiful Prada Kitten heel shoe this uh winter, uh sorry, this fall when I was in New York City. But I did search for, I swear to god, I went to Bergdorf. I went many places and then I did surrender to the first shoe I tried on, which was at Prada. However, I will actually send you a picture of this shoe. It's gorgeous. Anyway, I digress. But certain cues and sim, you know, signals, you know, are very typical and will work at any age. But you know, your ability to flirt effectively and your ability to um attract what you want really takes some practice and it takes some information. So that's why you know the goddess made me, and I'm going to give you some really practical, actionable uh tools so that you create a process for yourself that is more focused, more targeted, and truthfully, the busier you are and the more successful you are, and the less bandwidth that you have for extraneous things, the more the more get you know, the more laser focused and more skilled that you need to be. Okay? Because my goal, it's kind of like finding a fabulous 20-minute workout or even a 10-minute ab workout if you don't have an hour to spend at the gym. All right, so that's what we're gonna do. This is like the romance gym. I call this kind of romance camp, and you are gonna get some really powerful tools so that you can kind of uh stop wasting your time. So here's the thing about duty dating. Duty dating, as I said, was created uh and uh shared with women that really had become suddenly single, and a lot of women after long relationships kind of stop dating. And they can even, you know, if you've been really hurt or wounded or uh it's you know betrayed, a lot of women find themselves single and literally go, okay, I'm going to just heal up and take care of me. I don't want to repeat that again. And so you might go to therapy, you might um focus on building back your career, you might focus on really transitioning and helping your kids get through the divorce. Um and you also just might kind of fling yourself out there and have like a fun playing, which is totally fine too. But a lot of women just stop dating. And then when they start dating again and launch themselves on that or launch themselves on Tinder, the adjust the at sheer volume, the sheer uh magnitude, I mean, there are millions of men at your fingertips. And so no one really um that's single today is in a situation where there's nobody for them to date or they can't find any single people because is if you're willing to date online and on dating apps, and as far as I'm concerned, you know, because I created the Man Magnet Makeover and I am a leading expert, one of the leading experts in the world, or the premier expert according to the French, to le monde, um uh for single women, I know that um I know that you know, if women are single, it's almost always because they are having uh resistance to dating online or dating on dating apps. And um and what I will say about that is that dating apps, so you know, if you're a busy woman, dating apps are literally the best, it's like the superstore of love. It's like the giant uh man catalog in the sky. And if you know how to use Amazon, and I'm sure many of you have the Amazon Prime, um you uh if you learn how to how to shop successfully, you're going to be a much more happy recipient of what you order online. So the number one thing, the number one thing that we're gonna talk about, I'm just gonna go through like a little bit about what we're gonna talk about on the call. I'm gonna, you know, we're talking about why duty dating is a terrible idea if you're serious about finding love right now, and what to replace it with, why settling and lowering your expectations won't work, and how to up level your dating strategy, and how to ensure that you're going on high-value, targeted dates with appropriate man candidates and not land ducks. I did write a book called Dating, Mating and Manhandling, the Ornithological Guide to Men. So I love making bird analogies. I do compare men to birds, and a lot, truthfully, a lot of the um one of the closest parabonding species to humans are actually birds. Interesting, there's a m monogamous birds, there are uh lascivious birds that are not monogamous. Amazing. And then we're gonna talk about how to create time management practices that will work with your real life and not someone else's idea of your life because girl, I know you are busy just like me. So, so the first thing we're gonna talk about in depth is duty dating and why that's a bad man plan. Now, duty dating happened before, truthfully, the advent of online dating, as I said, and app dating. And back in the day, you used to have to go out and forage for yourself. Used, you know, uh my girlfriends and I used to go to line dancing at a country western bar. Um, we used to go to the farmers market, we used to go to nerd conventions, we used to go to tech conventions, um, we used to go to money management con conventions. So one of the best places to go on a manhunt in your physical space is to get a group of women, you know, one or two women that are willing to go out with you and flirt in the field at places where the kinds of men that you like will actually be. So, you know, apart from the online dating piece, which we'll talk about, you know, if you are if you are liking a brilliant kind of man, you know, if you're the woman that really likes intellectuals, then go to, you know, you don't go don't go to a bar where everybody's gonna be drunk and even the smart people seem stupid. Go to places where smart people are. And this year I actually had like, you know, I was asked to speak at um uh a conference um at Cloysters during Davos during the World Economic Forum. And that is literally like a just wherever you go, it's a man in a suit and a tie, and they are speaking multiple languages, everything sounds better in French, and um they are just the leading leading minds in finance. So that was you know, there's also you know, also went to the Milken Conference, which is, you know, and uh was you know delighted to be invited to go to the Visioneering Committee for the X Prize. Uh that's where they built Richard Branson's rocket ship to the moon, and they come up with all of these crazy prizes that you want they want to see solved. So it was it's like literally a nerd festival, which is where I'm the happiest, um, because I am really a nerd uh that has an awesome lingerie drawer. So I like my daddy is a scientist, you know, he's the head of endocrinology at Merck. So I really fall for men that have big, beautiful minds. And um so so everybody's got a flavor and everybody's got a type. So the first thing that I want you to really know is everyone's got a type, and you don't have to give up dating your type, you just need a version of your type that you can live with. You need a version of your type that you can live with. And so one of my first suggestions is that you really go, okay, what is my type? Now, if your type is an alcoholic, spendthrift, womanizer, cheater, I do not want you to do that. But you could be with someone who's a recovering alcoholic. You really could, because the truth is that recovering alcoholics have fantastic personalities. They are the life of the party. And um, you know, they're usually awesome in the sack, from what I hear. So what you want to do is you want to find you want to find a version of your type that you can live with. So if you're somebody who likes intellectuals, it's very, you know, it's it's very hard to believe that all of a sudden you're gonna like a completely different type of person. If you're somebody who likes really hot, handsome, buff men, I don't want to tell you that you've got to settle for somebody who's out of shape and kind of dumpy because that's not gonna float your boat. So everybody's got something that they just kind of makes them light up, makes them feel like they're in their feminine, makes them feel like, you know, uh you are understood and you're on the same wavelength. So you don't have to give up being with a man, you know, the kind of man that's on your wavelength. Okay? What you do have to give up is um, you know, what you do have to give up is going for a version of your type that doesn't have the emotional wherewithal to really partner you successfully. Now if you um I'm already thinking of contradictions to what I just said, uh if you are with like a broke poet and you just don't want to date guys that are broke anymore, I totally support that. But there are qualities in that broke poet, which is that he's probably that he's a poet, that he's a creative. So then you have to make a commitment to being with a more exalted version of whatever it is that you liked having sex with. That's what I'm gonna say. That's the bottom line. And most women do not like settling. And a lot of a lot of women you know, there's a lot of what I call dating misinformation. A lot of women get told that they have to lower the bar and that they need to settle and that they're too old to find what they really want. Okay? So I just want to hear everybody on this call say boo. Are you ready? Let's just say boo to feeling like being told that you need to settle. One, two, three. Ladies, are you gonna say boo? Oh, hold on. Everybody go boo. Okay. So as we can tell, everybody was in agreement about saying boo hiss bah humbug. You do not need to settle for something that you're not gonna going to be interested in. And truthfully, the women that I work with usually are basically financially pretty stable. It's not that you don't want to kind of find somebody, you know, two incomes are better than one. And, you know, it's not that um uh, you know, but most women most women don't have to be with men anymore. You don't have to be with men to have to buy a home, you don't have to be with men to take vacations, you don't have to be with men to have a retirement plan, you don't have to be with men to even have children anymore. So if you're going to be with a man, it's going to be for most of my clients, it's gonna be because you actually want love. You want love, you want to create love, and you want you want what I call a bodice ripping romance. And you want a, you know, thrilling love life, and you want somebody who's going to expand your horizons and not lessen them. Right? So, you know, we do live in a culture and a time um where in many parts of the world, you know, there's some parts of the world where women really don't have this option, but you know, in America, in Europe, South America, many parts of the world, you know, we really women are free to create the love lives that they really do wanna want to have. And so I really want to encourage you, I want to encourage everybody on this call, because you're we're going into a holiday season and the holidays can be very difficult, right? It brings up, you know, if you're single during this period of time, which I'm assuming, you know, everybody is on this call, um, or most everybody is. Uh, and my c you know, I do have coaching uh nuggets for everybody at every dating and relationship stage. Uh That I share on each of my calls. But specifically, if you're dating and you're heading into a holiday season where you are single right now, or maybe you're dating somebody and it's not really feeling committed enough, um, what I want you to do is really honor the fact that if you're single right now, you are not in a relationship that was able to go the distance. And so what you have, whether you ended the relationship on your own steam or whether it got ended for you, that relationship did not have the bones, it didn't have the structure, and it didn't have um this, it wasn't sturdy enough to kind of carry you all the way through. And so I'm interested in you finding a relationship that's sturdy enough, that's solid enough, that's exciting enough, that's elevating enough, that's elevated enough that you are really gonna want to be on that rocket ship to romance, as one of my clients called it. After she did the magnet, she said, I feel like I'm in a rocket on a rocket ship to romance, and she is now happily married. So are you with me? If you're with me, go hell yes. I just wanted to make sure that you were still awake. Okay. So so having a really powerful intention about what you want to manifest is paramount. Now, I think that I think that um a very powerful manifestation teacher it might have been a spiritual master, said that things get created twice. They get created first in the mind and then they get created the second time in reality. Things get created twice. First in the mind, and then they get created in reality. So anybody, you know, that's got you know, a favorite dress or a favorite lipstick that they love or a handbag or a living in a house that they love, that didn't just appear out of nowhere. Right, unless you're living at Hogwarts or some magical lens. It somebody had to think about it, create it, sketch it, budget for it, find a builder, a manufacturer. I just actually launched a bath and beauty line called Love Script, and I can't even tell you how much work it was set to McGill uh to which is Yiddish for a lot of work. Um, you know, I had to think about it, hire a product designer, uh, you know, that we had a tube manuf manufacturer, a separate fragrance house, somebody that actually did the body wash. It's this gorgeous orange blossom fragrance. We had to go back and forth to make sure it smelled the way that I wanted. It was a lot of work. And um, so anything that gets created gets created first in the mind, and then sometimes you have to go through some trial and error to refine what it is that you are really wanting to manifest before it actually manifests in real life. So the first thing that I want you to do is I really want you, when you get off of this call, I'm gonna give you a homework assignment, and I want you to create what I call a man magnet wish list. A man magnet wish list is something that I created when I first started coaching, and I started realizing that when I talked to women and I asked them what they wanted, they were all over the map. And when you're all over the map, the problem is that you don't it's kind of like if you don't know what you're going shopping for and you've just come from the gym and you're starving, and all of a sudden you're at the supermarket, you can wind up like leaving the turkey behind and just coming home with ring dings and some chips and salsa and forget, you know, I will if I don't make a list, sometimes I will forget what you know. I'm like, ah, why didn't I make a list? I forgot to get uh, you know, laundry detergent, etc. etc. So you want to make a shopping list when it comes to love. And so even if you've done this exercise before, I really encourage you to revisit it again. And what I want you to put at the top of your list is what is your type of guy? What is it about your exes that you've loved? What were those qualities that they had? Because I will tell you, people tend to get attracted to the same dynamic multiple times, and you know, some women are attracted to, you know, men that are wildly successful in their careers, you know, just like super duper high performance vehicles, right? Uh super duper badass alphas. Some women are attracted to men that are unbelievably uh attentive in bed. Some women are attracted to men with big brains, some women are attracted to men that are really helpful and warm. So there's, you know, we all have like a type, but we prioritize our values differently. So I want you to write what your type is, and I want you to write a list of all of the things, just literally anything that comes into your mind that you want in a partner. Anything. It could be a dimple on his chin, it could be I had a client who said she wanted a man with water on the property. I was like, what does that mean? She said, I want a man that lives on a lake or by the sea. I was like, wow, she's got a lot of self-esteem. That's that's that's like a very profound uh I love that she had that, you know, vision. And indeed, she married a man that had a waterfall in his backyard in Depanga Canyon. So, you know, I want you to get super specific about, you know, uh you can get very granular, and then I want you to get a highlighter, and I want to hide you to highlight everything that you must have. Everything that you must have when it comes to dating. So, you know, a dimple is not a must-have, but you know, being a monogamous man certain is, certainly is. So I want you to write the values, his hobbies, his habits, um, eccentricities, even, what you know, his passion level is like. You can get very, very specific. And then I want you to highlight everything that you and the must-have list is like, even if he's got all this other awesome stuff, if he doesn't have the must-have list, it won't work. And I call the must-have list cake. That's the cake. All of the extra stuff, the dimple on his chin, clearly I like, you know, I actually love a man with a cleft chin. You know, clearly all of these bells in man with a plane, that would be like icing, right? Um, and I always say that you want a man that's got enough frosting so that you'll want to eat the cake. You just don't want to eat plain dry cake, sponge cake. You want cake with a little bit of you know sweetness, but you don't also want to necessarily eat frosting right out of the can. Although sometimes that can definitely be fun too, right? But for a long-term relationship, you want to have you want to have a perfectly balanced slice of cake. I like I'm now thinking of the most delicious chocolate cake with vanilla and vanilla interior. Oh my god. The beautiful vanilla sponge cake that's kind of moist. Beautiful chocolate. Okay. So getting your shop, and then what you do is you separate both those lists, and then you just write a list of your must-haves. And then you really I want you to think about this list, and I want you to refine it, and I want you to then take the top, the ten most important things in your must-have list, and I want you to put them in order. So if being with a man of your faith is really important, you know, a lot of people have very similar things on their list. Like everybody says they love to travel, but really, how often do you particularly travel? You know, because everybody's got that on their list, but that might be number 10 or 20 on your list. You know, having a really hot sexual compatibility with somebody might be number one, right? Someone who's amazing with your children and a good role model for them. Might be number that could be number one or two. Okay, so it's very personal. And that's why when people say, just got get back out there and stop being so picky, it's a bad man plan. I do want you to get back out there, but I want you to be really focused about what it is that you're shopping for. And now I'm gonna talk to you. Okay, so do I have your agreement? Everybody that you're gonna do those lists, I'm gonna unmute you, say, I'm in. I'm in. Yay. Okay, so I'm keeping this call on your toes. So once you're clear about what it is that you're shopping for, okay, I want you to promise me this is like the number, this is like the biggest reason. I'm gonna give you the two biggest reasons that you're going out on low value, low quality dates. And um and then I'm gonna tell you why it's a terrible, terrible idea to go out on low value dates. Okay, actually, I'm gonna start with that. The reason why it's a terrible man plan to go out on low-value dates with men is because when women go out on a bunch of bad, boring, depressing, sad, mismatched dates, they wind up getting really, really demoralized. And guess what? That can it can really take only one bad date to take certain women out of the dating field for months or even years. I've had women go out on one bad date after not dating for a really long time, and it was so depressing, they were just like, screw it. This is not worth it. So some will some women have more resilience, some women have like more motivation, some women have more stick to itiveness, some women have more free time. Okay? But, you know, for the most part, when women go out on like, you know, often will we'll launch on t Tinder or Bumble and Match.com or other dating sites. All of a sudden, a woman who has been kind of locked up as a lady in the tower and has had no romantic traction or action for a really long time, you might have even stopped bikini waxing for years. Okay? And I really encourage you, I swear to god, getting a bikini wax, even if you're not currently dating right now, will just make you feel like it could happen at any time. So it's a really good affirmation. It's a good affirmation for romance. It'll just make you feel good. It's like wearing lacy lingerie that uh no one else knows you're wearing. I actually have one of my um favorite clients uh, you know, works with a lot of really badass, powerful men, and she definitely always makes sure she wears red panties when she's going to big business meetings. Okay, so there you go. Um just a romantic affirmation. So uh so because there's going to be, if you launch online, so many available men, the biggest mistake that daters make is that they don't create profiles that state what their romantic intentions are. Because they're afraid of scaring men off. But if you want to get married and if you want to, if you want to really kind of separate the wheat from the chaff, an online dating ad or an app is just literally like a calling card. It's it literally an advertisement saying, hey, if you pick me, this is you know the flavor gelato that you're gonna be getting. Okay? It's basically saying, you know, you've got to be willing to make a stand for what it is that you want to create. And um I have an amazing program called Dating Aptitude, the Secrets of Swiping, right? I'm editing it right now. It's from a group teleclass, but it really talks about how to create profiles for dating apps, which are different than Match.com uh, you know, website-based dating sites. But if you're dating on dating sites, um if you're dating on dating sites, you definitely have a lot of room to write that will actually ask you what kind of relationship status you're interested in. Bumble now is asking you what your preferred relationship goals are right now, which is the new feature and it's great, it's a great feature. Um it's just impossible to read anything on Bumble because they've got that ridiculous yellow background, so it's so hard to actually see what anybody's, you know, the writing. So hopefully they'll kind of figure that out. But if you're on Tinder, if you're on match.com, if you're on Bumble, even if you fill in what relationship category you're looking at, if it's got like a way of clicking a button and having that automate for you, I want you to really clearly state if you want to get married, just say, you know, I'm looking to have like a magnificent marriage. If you want to have children, you can say, you know, I'm looking forward to meeting the right partner to create an incredible family with. And men do read your profiles, ladies. I know it's hard to believe, but they actually do. And if you want something that they clearly are not up for, they will not bother with you. And one of the big, you know, fallacies that many women still think is that you know men just want to have sex. That men are not interested in relationships, they just want to have sex. Now, there are certain men who do just want to have sex. But truthfully, men that just want to have sex are more likely to try to do that with somebody who's not saying that they want to get married and create family, or just get remarried again, or just have a passionate enduring till the end of time kind of partnership. Because there are plenty of women that are not on this call right now and don't know that they're supposed to clearly state their romantic intentions. Your job on your online profiles is not to entertain men, it's to actually attract, it's to magnetize men who have common relationship values and um and to inspire them to really reach out and swipe right or message you. Okay, so that's really what it's there for. And that's what the written part of your profile is there for, and it's also to kind of describe your intelligence level and to have men really be able to get a sense of you know your consciousness, your sense of humor, your personality, right? And um, and then your photos really are a window into your world. And you know, if you're on the call, I'm sure everybody's seen my Man Magnet makeovers. And if you haven't seen my Man Magnet makeovers, go to on my website. It's actually called the Romantic Romantic Rebrands, because I'm actually rebranding my magnet um to make it a little more current. But these magnet makeovers really take women that you know have not been focused on their romantic persona, their feminine, their feminine look in a long time, or they've gotten stuck in a certain kind of like zone and just really want to kind of get more present and really evolve to the next level of their feminine superpowers. And so we do this physical makeover and do these amazing photographs, but you know, the photographs also really weed men out. So if you're getting low kind if you're getting men that are off of your intelligence or um in, you know, if you're not if they're not age or wage appropriate, um, it's often because your photographs don't look as expensive as you really are. Okay, I want you to take that in. If you're getting a lot of men that are not appropriate fits in terms of age and wage, it's because your photographs aren't looking as expensive or sophisticated or as developed as you really are. And a lot of women don't want to have to change their marketing because they don't want to have to change themselves because they want women who they want a man who likes them just the way that they, you know, they are. But if men can't clearly get a sense of how you live, how you roll, um, your education level, your sophistication level, that is something that people read. You know, people are amazing um profilers of people. And we send out a lot of cues and clues based on how we look, how we dress, you know, what kind of environment we're in. Like one of the things I'm not uh, you know, gonna say, you know, I think that one of the things about that Bachelorette TV show is that they put these gals in this like incredibly luxurious environment. But you know, most of those women don't live like that. You can tell, right, girls? Right, my ladies. You can tell most of the, you know, that is like such a huge step up for all of the gals that are in that show. But some women really do seem like they actually could be living in that environment, but a lot of them don't speak like it, don't act like it. Um, and conversely, a lot of you are women who have really kind of magnificent, interesting, complex, cultured, uh, sophisticated backgrounds. And so if that is not reading in the photo, you know, I have one client who has got the most sophisticated, incredible, exciting life. And her photographs, I said to her, Well, you, you know, she's debating whether or not she should do the magnet. We actually did a private magnet. She's debating whether she should do it, and I looked at her photos and said, Well, let me see what you're putting out. And I said, Oh, darling, you look like a shop girl. You look like a nice office girl. Now there's nothing wrong. I was a shop girl. I was also a waitress in my youth. I was actually even, yes, a cigarette girl back in the day at a fabulous nightclub in New York City where I got into like lots of fun trouble. I actually wore Sarah Jessica Parker. Remember Sex in the City? She had that white tutu at the beginning that Patricia Fields made? Well, I had a black tutu that Patricia Fields had made and wore it to this nightclub. It was so much fun. That was my life as a teen in New York when I lived in Soho. But I digress. So if you're a shop girl, if you're an office girl, that is fine. But even if you are in an office, or even if you are at a, you know, working in a shop, or if you are the head of your own law firm, or if you own your own private plane, or if you uh, you know, whatever it is, if you're a mom that's living in suburbia, you do not have to look like you are living in suburbia. You know, because the truth is that when men go and pick women out of a catalog, they all have a vision of the kind of woman that they fantasize themselves being with. Just like women have a vision or a fantasy about what the kind of man that you would like to be with. And truthfully, looking at a photograph, if a man has a first photo of him in a t-shirt, it's just not as inspiring as a man that's really put together. Right? Like a lot of women like to see a man in a suit and a tie or, you know, like a really great blazer or some something put together. Because that says something about them. That says, you know, wow, I take care of myself, or wow, I've got, you know, my finances sorted. I've got a 401k, I've got a retirement plan. I actually have dental and medical. That's what it's saying. It's saying I've got it together. So the first thing that I want to say is if you're getting unworthy man candidates and boring at a bunch of turkeys and lame ducks, it's often because your profile is not scaring men off. And you do want to scare men off, my ladies. You do want to intimidate the wrong people from feeling, you know, not every man should feel like he actually has a shot at you. And I have a lot of clients who will launch online again after having been online before, and all of a sudden, the demographic that's reaching out to them, you know, actually Scarlet Tiger on my newsletter said, I don't know what happened before I did the magnet. All the men were short, bald, overweight, uh, or you know, broke, and now they're all handsome, tall, rich, and fabulous. So it's just she all of a sudden showed up. Her presence really showed up. So that's the photos, that's the profile. That's one of the biggest ways to stop going out on mismatched dates is to really focus your presentation. Okay, just because right there the wheat and the chaff will separate. Number two, you want to get your written intent your romantic intentions into your profile. And the reason why it's good to do as an exercise is because when you go out on dates, I want you to be able to language what you're looking for clearly and in language that even a man can understand. Which is about two to three sentences max. You know, when men say, What are you looking for? You actually need to have an answer. You know, and a lot of times when I start working with clients, I'll say, Well, what are you looking for? And they'll say, Well, you know, I don't need to get married, but I just really want a great guy. And I always say, Well, but if you could have anything you wanted, what would it be? And they will often take a moment and go, Huh, well, yes, I guess, you know, if I if it was great and, you know, had his act together and his finances together and the sex was great and we wanted the same things, of course I'd want to be married. So I don't want you to back down from having a big vision about love because in truth, men want to be inspired. Men are dying to be inspired, and men really, you know, men like aspiration, right? They like things that make them feel like they're elevating. And with men, really, it is status. A lot of it is status and pecking order, and they want to be top-notch bird, they want to be on the highest branch in the flock. So finding a woman that actually kind of like elevates them in some way is, you know, whether it's your value to them, you know, as uh, you know, somebody who's like a powerful, I'd like I've actually gotten obsessed with I love Outlander. I confess I love that TV show. I've read the books, just a big kind of romantic fantasy, sleeping modern romantic fantasy, which is based in this, you know, it's not a it's a current, it's a current uh series, but it's written about, you know, woman that goes back in time to meet a real man, Jamie Fraser, when men were men. And uh, you know, anyway, anyway. I don't even know how I got on that. How did I get on that? I have no idea what I was talking about. I just thought like I totally started to go into a little daydream about him and his kilt. Anyway. You want to clearly say, oh, values. So Claire in this movie in the Outlander series is amazing because she's kind of basically a modern woman, which, you know, I think she goes back to the 1600s or the 1700s. But it starts at she's a a doctor in uh World War II. And uh she goes back through the stones of Craig Nadun, back into time, she time travels, and uh, you know, what's so adorable is that he's a man, you know, an old fash well clearly old-fashioned, uh, from the 1700s, uh, who loves her fiercely, and but she's a doctor and she's got him. She really he loves her for all of her witchy ways, all of her artful ways, all of the value that she brings to him. So that's it's very, it's very sweet, and they have really amazing sex towards sex scenes uh in the book as well as uh you know on screen. So it's very enjoyable for many, and he's also a little younger, I'm gonna say, which is not a terrible thing for a lot of women to be with a man that's got stamina. So, so the thing is that all men are looking for women that kind of raise them up. And you know, Claire definitely raises Jamie's horizons up. There's no woman like her, and you know, he really values all the uh all the gifts that she has to bring. So your mission is to really um make your value known before you ever speak to men. So that's number one. And number two, screen men out, right? Let them screen themselves out because you're going to state what your relation, your real relationship goals are. And if you need help with this, I've got like a program called Cyber Flirt Reboot and the Cyber Flirt Toolkit, which will tell you exactly it's a fill-in-the-blanks thing about how to write your profile out and how you can do DIY photos. And um if you want to come to a magnet, I am offering this crazy, I've never done this before, but it's gonna happen on Cyber Flirt Monday, on the Cyber Monday. Um I'm offering the man magnet makeover at 25% off, which I have never done before, but I've had so many people say it's so expensive, and they've been on the fence, and I just was like, okay, I'm so grateful for my community, and I have done uh I don't know 30 man magnets, and I really wanted to open it up for women that found it more difficult financially, and it's gonna if enrollment will be open for two days only for that, and then I'm gonna close it because it's gonna get too crazy full. But it will be good for any magnet that I'm doing in 2019, and the the that magnet's going to be the last weekend of February. So you'll have some time to plan. But anyway, if you're interested and you're on the call, you can actually email right now and just go, I am interested, and we'll we'll chat on the phone because that program is going to sell out. But at any rate, okay, so that's that's the offer. That's rule number one. The second way you need to rule out and screen screen out lame ducks is every single time you connect with somebody online on a dating app, or if somebody wants to set you up on a blind date, I never want you going anywhere to meet a man in person that you have not spoken to on the phone. Text communication does not count. Having a um an introduction from a third party, you know, like a uh matchmaker or like a um, you know, a dear friend or your mother that's just like so my mother literally once faxed my photograph to somebody back in the day. She was like, please meet my daughter. He was not the right person, and I should have spoken to him on the phone. It was just not a match. Um, I think he was an insurance salesman, which was not enough fun for me, but nothing against insurance salesmen, but uh it was just not a match. Um so so you know, this failure to get on a first date uh phone call, you know, really the first date is on the phone. And you need to look at these phone calls like they're actual dates. And you know, the thing about listening to people on the phone is you can hear tone. You can hear their tone of voice, you can tell a ton about somebody's uh, you know, the way that they talk, the way that they speak, their elocution, their uh, you know, sense of humor. You know, people can really we've got a lot of body knowing, and there's only so much that you can know from a two-dimensional experience like your phone. Right? So there's a photo, there's written words, you can sort, and then there's like that text exchange back and forth where you can start to really tell somebody's, you know, intelligence level or their, you know, kind of facility with connecting um in that way. Uh and as you can know, like a lot of them will just go, hey, or hi, or where do you live? What part of town do you live in? Um, and what I want you to do is transition off of uh these texting opportunities and get them on the phone. And so I'm gonna give you a tip, which is all you have to do if you're dating online or on apps and you start tech you know, emailing or texting back and forth, cut to the chase after the second or third back and forth and just say perhaps chat on the phone would be fun. And then the guy will go, Great, here's my number. And men will now all start offering all by themselves to chat with you on the phone. So I think it's really important that you do that. And I'm not gonna talk about online dating safety or burner phones or any of that on this call right now. Um but um you know, that phone call is really important and what I want you to do is I want you to kind of find out about men on these calls. And I don't want these calls to replace actually going out on a date, so you don't have to like talk about everything you would talk about on a first date, but I do want you to you know, a great thing to do with men is to just say, So, how long have you been single? You know, and then they'll say, Well, I'm actually separated. Or, well, you know, I've been, you know, I was married for a long time and you know, I've been divorced for about you know, three years. Truthfully, the statistics are that most men that get divorced will remarry in three years. Isn't that funny? It's interesting. So, um and that's not from the time they're separated, it's from the time that the ink dries on the paper. So, you know, these first phone calls really will give you, should give you a feeling about the person. And the thing is, is that I do not want you going out with anybody you're not excited about. So I want you to kind of like put your hand on your heart right now, and I'm gonna unmute you and I want you to repeat after me. Okay? I want you to make a vow. You ready? Okay, do you all have your hands on your heart? Putting your other hand up in the air. I don't know how you're holding on to the phone, just figure it out. And just repeat after me. I swear. That I will only accept um an in-person date. An in-person date with a man. I'm actually not going to unmute you because it was so noisy, but just repeat it. With men that are interesting, that are smart enough, and that seem engaged enough to be worth putting my stilettos on for. Okay, so I want you to swear that you will only go out with men that are interesting enough, engaged enough, and where you feel inspired enough to actually put your stilettos on and go out into the field. Or your boots, whatever it is that you're wearing. Okay? And the thing is, is that on first dates, you can get a sense of tone, income, fun. You know, if a man seems cagey or evasive, if a man is kind of like a meh, you know, it's like he kind of leaves you feeling like completely lukewarm, that means that he didn't pass the phone test. And um I have a lovely client, Debbie, who I don't know if she's on the phone, but her name is Debbie D, and she has the most fantastic little trick. If you need to get off the phone, because if you're dating successfully, what I want to say is the odds are that probably one out of every five men, if you're lucky, and maybe like one out of every eight men are going to be interesting enough for you to actually want to meet in person. You're gonna be able to tell if you've got any rapport with a person. And I want there to be conversational flow. I want you to feel uh, you know, I want you to be able to like laugh on the phone. I want you to feel like, you know, you're actually interested in what he's doing with his life. Like if you start, you know, if one a great way to find out what men do, you can say is so you know, so Clark, what do you do in our fair city? What do you do in our fair city? And he might say, Well, you know, uh, I used to have like a really big business, but it kind of like went upside down um, you know, during the crash, and just kind of, you know, I'm taking some writing classes and trying to figure out what I'm doing, and la la la la. That's like, uh, check please in your mind, right? You're like, no. That's like if you were at a restaurant, you'd be like thinking check please, but this is just like the end of the date. So if you're on the phone with somebody, always ask, so what do you do? You know, what kind of work do you do? Or you can say, you know, what um, you know, what are you having the most uh fun doing in life right now? You might say, Well, dating, I'm just single and I'm really enjoying it. Now that's a man that's not ready to settle down, right? So I want you to like listen with big ears, and I don't want you to feel like you're being invasive by asking some kind of pointed questions because the truth is, is that you are really busy. And if you go out and meet a bunch of Joe Schmoes, and if you meet a much bunch of people that are really random, you are going to get so bummed out, you are going to, I promise, you're gonna like stop. You'll throw in a towel, you will get depressed, you will get irritable, you will get bored. And so when I hear that women really are going out on a bunch of bad dates, it's always because they're not vetting men appropriately. Okay, and also here is another tip if men give you their first and last name on Match.com, Google them. They're doing it on purpose. They're wanting you to see who they are, it's not um stalking. And another tip is if men give you their first and last name, go on Facebook and look them up. And I've had many clients have found men that are actually in relationships on Facebook that are posing as single people on Tinder or Bumble. Okay? So um, you know, it's really okay to do like a little cyber slew thing, and you know, men do it too. People want to not waste their time. Um, so Debbie D has a fantastic way of getting off the phone. So if you're on the phone and you're just really not feeling it, and you can usually tell, women can usually tell after a minute or two. Just it's gonna be very fast. You're gonna be like, oh, I'm not feeling the energy. And I want you to trust your intuition. If you're a person that actually has good intuition, I want you to remember that you have good intuition. Some women do not have good intuition when it comes to dating, then you just need to call me. And I will I can have intuition for you. I can uh, you know, look at your potential suitors and talk you through. And I actually I do that with women also that have great intuition too, because people really do need support. This is a very difficult, um, it's very difficult to be great at ever almost everything else in your life and then have trouble in your love life. But I want to tell you, you know, we didn't go to school to learn how to date successfully, right? And this is not taught in college, and this is really kind of like you're getting a master's degree in love. This is a very unique specialty that if you're single, you need to master, and it's worth putting the time in because I will tell you, once you know what you're doing, you will have the ability to cut through the clutter and really date exceptional men. And when you meet them, you know, the chemistry will either be there or it won't be there. Like that's the magic X factor, you know, that's Cupid's arrow. It's a total mystery about why people just go wow when they actually meet in person. Um and that's why everybody talks about duty dating. You just gotta go out and meet them. Just give them a shot. Now, there's some times when you do have to open your mind, um, but that's why I talk about that man magnet wish list. And that man magnet wish list I want you to have when you're on phone dates with men from Tinder or Bumble or Match or OKCupid or J Date or wherever. I want you to have your wish list with you, and I want you to remember what it is that you're looking for. And if let's say your religion is really important to you, or let's say politics, you know, politics right now is extremely, it's a fomenting, you know, teeth gnashing topic right now in our in much of our country. And so there are people who are very on one side of the aisle or the other side of the aisle. And if you're one of those people, you really do need to talk about it. They say don't talk about religion and politics, but I disagree. If those are high value, high priority topics, you want to talk about them and you can talk about them on the phone. You know, and if let's say you're um, you know, uh, you know, a me too girl and an activist and you know, a strong uh you know, uh you work for the Democratic Party, right? You can say, Yeah, you know, I just uh came back from a rally in Washington and you know, I've got my Me Too mug and my t-shirt. And if you're on the phone with somebody who is a tea party person, you know, that is not gonna work. That's not gonna work for you because these are kitchen table conversations. So you want to you want to make sure that your wish list is there and that you pick out, like if you're talking about let's say religion is important, you can say, Yes, you know, well, I love going, you know, um I am definitely church going gal, or I love going to temple, you know, are you passionate about your face? You can ask people these questions. You know, this is your life, and these people are potentially wasting an entire evening of it, uh, if you actually go out and meet them. So, you know, pick your top three things that are really important, and you know, the very first thing you want to do is get them on the phone. If men will not get on the phone, if they say, Oh, yeah, really, I'd just like to meet in person, just go, yeah, I can appreciate that. But I really um, you know, I really promise myself after going out on a bunch of mismatched dates that I would definitely uh save everybody some time and just talk on talk on the phone. And if men don't get on the phone with you, they are actually um not honoring your needs and it disqualifies them. So anybody that's gonna give you any pushback about this is disqualified and off your list. It's like goodbye and good luck. They didn't pass the white glove test. Okay, and there's two met kinds of men in this world men that love making women happy, and men that just want women to make them happy. And you want to find a man who really gets a great sense of self-esteem from making women happy. Those are the guys that really like to please, and they really love um going down between your knees. Sorry, just saying it like it is, ladies. Okay, they like they get off and on pleasing you. So you want to find a man that's actually sensitive enough and chivalrous enough to care. Um okay, so those those three tips just to recap are creating a man magnet wish list, raising your expectations about what it is that you want to create, really up-leveling it, um, creating a very kind of intimidating, uh, high-level kind of offer. So your photos, you know, need to be in locations which are kind of tony, which look expensive, so that you look expensive, you know, like you're living an expensive life in them. And when I spend when I say expensive, I'm not talking about like lifestyles of the rich and famous, expensive. I'm just talking about like a place that's really put you know put together and where you look like you're a person that's got an amazing life. Okay? And um, you know, certainly not where you're more ca you're looking more casual in your photos than your lifestyle actually is. So there's an art, you know, it is an art form. If you're interested in the magnet, definitely reach out to me because that is the magic trick that we pull off there. And then never accept a phone, you know, a date without getting on the phone and really um making sure that you feel comfortable with a person and making sure that you feel like there's some zip or relatedness. And if you don't like them, this is the tip about how to get them off the phone. You can say, you know, um, you can say, thank you so much for taking time to connect and I actually have to run. Now, Debbie D, who has been in one of my magnet and also in my dating aptitude class, came up with the greatest, the greatest tip. What she does, and I'm gonna see if you can hear this, hold on. What she does is she will literally, if she's on the phone and she's bored, she will talk to somebody, and then she will, um, if she's like, okay, I've got to get off the phone, she will set her microwave. Oh, I don't even know if I can do it with my microwave because I'm just not that together. And she will literally wait until it dings. We can't do it, but she will literally make her microwave ding and say, Oh, my dinner is ready, I've gotta run, but thanks for the call. And she literally gets off the phone. Okay, is that hilarious? So that is a really fantastic tip. You know, and in truth, it is very, you know, one of the biggest problems that women have is that they like to be nice. They don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. So I want you to be willing to hurt people's feelings. Because truthfully, you know, if you're it's if you go out on a date and you don't like him anyway, you're gonna hurt his feelings worse because you've actually met and now you're gonna have to like break his heart after he's seen you, and then he's just gonna be full of despair and regret. Okay? And Um, you know, being nice is not something I want you to strive for, right? Girls are conditioned to be nice in our culture, and what that really means is that, you know, they're not conditioned to speak plainly, they're not conditioned to be direct, they're not conditioned to um, you know, being outspoken or saying things that people don't like, and we have been really conditioned to not hurt people's feelings, which is not how men have been conditioned, by the way. And so, you know, what men do, how men deal with it is they just don't call you back. They just disappear. Right? They don't confront it. You know, some men sometimes are classy and go, you know, thanks for the date. I had a I worked with a client tonight. And she said, Yeah, the guy said at the end of the day she didn't know I wasn't calling, and he said at the end of the day, you know, well, I actually live in, you know, Florida, so you know, there's no future for us. And then he sent a text the next day and said, um, you know, it was nice meeting you. And, you know, so she was confused because she wasn't sure if that text it was nice meeting you you know, what what part to believe was it, you know uh, you know, he had called the next day and she was confused about it. And I said, Well, he was just being he was just being a gentleman. He's in classy, just saying thanks for getting together. So, you know, but a man on a uh that's interested in you, I'm gonna have to do a whole other call about like buying signs. I'm actually gonna do that. I'm gonna do a call. Um I'm gonna set up our next call about like what the buying signs are and how you can tell if men want to move the relationship forward and if you've like how to nail successfully that first kind of first date, second date, third date, because it's really important information. But the focus of this call is time management. And um and so the biggest way that you're wasting your time is by not getting on the phone and betting men, not being clear enough in your visual and your written presentation before you actually start communicating with men, and in not being willing to say no. Okay, it's like jet instead of just say yes, you really have to be willing to just say no. And if a man corners you, so if you're on the phone and you're just like, no, this is not happening, what you can do is you can say, you know, thank you so much for your time, and I actually have to run, but thanks for making time to talk together. And then if he goes, Well, you know, can we talk again? Or, you know, would you like to meet? You can say, you know, honestly, I'm not quite feeling that little click. Um, you know, so I don't think so, but I really just want to thank you for taking the time to connect and say hi. You know, you seem like a lovely man. And I'd go, okay, well, you too. Okay, and then you just get off of the phone. And I mentioned earlier in the call about burner phones, and the reason why it's great to get like a burner app, um, you know, or Google Voice, is that men won't have your actual phone number so that you will feel much more comfortable saying no to men that haven't met you, um, because they won't actually have your real phone number. And I also encourage you to not use your real name. Matt is doing this thing now, and Tinder's doing this thing where you have to use your real name, which is launched from Facebook, but definitely do not give people your last name. And if you sign up on dating apps or on um uh dating sites, you know, you have the option from Tinder or Bumble to sign up from your phone number instead of um instead of uh Facebook. And the thing about Facebook is that it really you know asks you to, you know, verify your identity, et cetera, et cetera. So I think you're gonna be better off. Um your phone number will not show up on these apps, but it's just the way that they verify that you're a real like person with this particular phone number. Um and not a scammer or a spammer. Um but this way you will be able to uh you know control the narrative, and a lot of my clients will use their middle name or they'll come up with a nickname. And in the glory daysofmatch.com, you know, everybody had like amazing usernames, and you can still use a username. They're trying to force you to use a first name, but you do not have to. You do not have to give up your username, my ladies. You can just say no. Again, just say no. So it's learning how to not be a bitch, but it's like really, really making I want you to all make a commitment that you are not going to go out on tepid first days. And it truthfully, it's going to create, I'm going to answer, we have a couple of like fabulous questions, which I'm going to do right now, but just there's been so much kind of fun content to get through. Um, if you want to create a great love life, it actually needs you need to front load you need to front load your footwork in a certain way by doing the phone screening and really getting clear that it's somebody that you want to meet. And so it's really okay to have 10 phone calls and not go out with any of them. I want you to really, but I want you to really make a commitment to time management. So your time management is going to look like scheduling. You know, if you can schedule, it's easier to do 15 minutes a day than to decide that you're going to do like three hours in one day and then space out on your communications. So I suggest when I work with clients one-on-one that what you do is you find like 15 minutes in your day, which is like it could be, you know, while you're drinking your morning cup of coffee, or it can be at night when you've wrapped up your day. It's really okay to text. It's okay to swipe right and to text um, you know, to return a text in the evening. I used to say don't communicate after nine, but you can you can. Um you just don't have to carry on the conversation too long, but you can definitely swipe right, and you can definitely send a return email to people on match um, you know, when it's convenient for you in the evening if you're a night owl. Um you just don't you don't want to get on the phone with people at night. So if you're texting back and forth and the guy says, well, you know, if you say, well, perhaps chat on the phone, sometime tomorrow would be, you know, sometime tomorrow would be great, is what you can suggest. So just don't get on the phone with people before nine. Okay. Because you don't want to turn it into that kind of phone call. All right. Someone did ask from the web, uh they wrote, will we prov be providing a transcript? So we will not have a transcript, although that's something that I definitely should look into. Um, but you will be getting a replay. Oh my god, I hope I didn't do something scary here. Hold on, ladies. I hope you're still here. Hang on. Hold on. Oh good God, I hope you're still here. Hold on, ladybug. I am not being a good technique techno girl. Hold on for one second. Okay, so I'm gonna answer some questions. Here we go. Okay. So does anybody have a question that's on the line right now? If you do, press star two. If you've been dating any turkeys or lame ducks, uh press star two. Okay. And somebody with a phone number from 650 has raised their hand. Hi there. Hi. Um I've submitted a question online, but uh I've been asked out by somebody that I'm just not attracted to at all, and he took uh about five or six days to get back to me. So uh after listening to this, I'm just wondering, should I give it a shot or should I just not waste my time? Okay, so that is a fabulous question. What is your first name, sweetheart? Ann. Hi, Ann. Okay. So here is the thing. It's really interesting. I've had a lot of clients wind up married to men that they didn't find a perfect physical match when they looked at their photos. But when they met them in person, they were attracted. Or when they met them in person, they were like, mmm, I don't like the way he dresses. I have a client who like was dating a man, you know, started dating a man who had like a soul patch, you know, like a little met little kind of you know, soul patch on their face, or a soup catcher, uh, facial hair, and uh, she was just so turned off. And on the day that they were married, it was shaved. I did predict, I was like, you know what, on the day that you get married, he will shave that soul patch, which he did. And they now have three beautiful children. But um, you know, chemistry comes in a lot of forms. So if you there's emotional chemistry, there's intellectual chemistry, there's physical, animal, passion chemist kind of chemistry. Um, there's chemistry in terms of, you know, values, and uh people have chemistry sometimes in terms of lifestyle and the places they like to go and the things that they like to do together. So when you say, Ann, that you have no chemistry, do you have chemistry on any of those levels? Do you have chemistry in terms of your humor or any of those other aspects of relatedness? There are things that we have in common. Physically I'm not attracted to him, just by his pictures. Okay. So but when you got on the phone, did you enjoy the conversation? Did you have fun talking to him? Was it interesting? We haven't been on the phone yet. He just this was a that's the other thing. I I need to just to talk to him first, because he asked me out via the app. Just texting. So fantastic. So you're gonna say, you know, let's um, you know, before you know, let's make uh you know, I'd love to have uh let's have a chat before we, you know, connect so we can make a plan and just say hi. That's fair enough. And then when you're yeah, and then when you're on the phone, you'll see if you've got emotional chemistry. So that is a thing, is that it's not just, you know, that emotional chemistry. Sometimes, you know, I've had, you know, epic chemistry with men that didn't quite look like, you know, John Hamm. Everybody in the world would have chemistry with John Hamm. I've actually met him in person and I'm gonna say, you know, holy mother of God. You know. But uh, you know, in terms of the uh intellect and the fun and the Rasmataz and you know, there's a lot of ways to get excited by somebody. So if you have emotional, mental uh chemistry, if you've got rapport, if you it's easy for you to talk to each other, you know, if it's fun, right? If he kind of seems like he's in your world or his world is really interesting to you, then it then it's worth going and meeting him, even if he doesn't physically look like whatever your picture is of him. Okay, and that that kind of man I suggest that if you go out and you have a great time with him and you're still not sure you have chemistry that you let yourself go out on a couple of dates with. But that's not duty dating then. That's actually romantic research. Got it? That's actually a good answer. Thanks. Thank you. Thanks, Ann. Okay, I have someone calling from 949. Those are the first digits. Hello, I've unmuted you. What part of your name is green in saddleback? And you're on the line with me? Lauren, it's Cameron. Cameron! Yeah, hello. I'm good. Hey. Oh my god, I was thinking of you. I was literally thinking of you last week. It was like, where's Cameron? Huh? Yeah. Yeah, I'll catch up. I'll get send you a catch-up email to let you know my status. But in any case, my question for for the call is, you know, I have a good, I'm really good with guys on the phone and like initial contact. And so I feel my my what's difficult is that I've can sort of create chemistry with anyone when I initially talk to them. And then a lot of times I'll show up on the date and then just be like, oh no, you know? Like I I'll just get there and it'll be like I'll be turned off by them in person. And so I feel like I just have, you know, we have this whole all this chemistry, and then you know, the truth is when I meet them, I'm like, I'm just not that into you anymore. And I I hate to be, you know, identify myself as such a superficial person. So it kind of feels I feel like ugh, you know. Uh well here's the thing, is that um is it that they're not looking like their photos? Is it that you just don't what is it that you're not quite kind of being able to get clear about? I well you before I actually call them. It's that I it's like they're looking they're looking like their photos, but I think I no longer like in the moment when I'm swiping right and deciding to make a a a phone call, like I feel mu much more open to to, you know, I have I guess maybe I'm more liberal about who I'm actually attracted to, and then when I actually get to the place, to the date, I d I rethink or have s skeptical skeptical about my initial sort of you know like I no longer agree with the choice that I made initially. If that makes any sense. Okay. So like I change it it changes between when I first see them and and ex you know, kind of uh agree with myself that I want to try this, and then when I actually show up. It's like two different knees. Okay, so that and do you think that they would be guys when you're with them and you're just kind of not being attracted? Do you feel like that's because you're putting up a kind of um wall, or do you feel like it's just you're just gener genuinely turned off? Like there are people that you would never want to connect with. Um gen generally turned off. Okay. Well here's what I'm gonna say. Then you just have to trust that, sweetheart. And it's okay. It's okay. You know, you're just um and and is it uh a particular thing that is turning you off or is it just Yeah, it's well it's just you know it's the it's like when you're around somebody and you have this sort of it really is like an intuitional like you're in their space and it's just a way that they smile, a way that they they smell, or the a way they carry themselves, but you wouldn't be able to see that from you wouldn't be able to experience that like from the phone or from text, but then you're in their presence and you're like, it's just I I can't even it you it's just a it's an intuitional like uh, you know. Um well you know what that's that's just called dating. It's called dating. So you know, you can't but as long as you're doing, you know, which it sounds like you're doing and you did the man magnet, so you're getting like a lot of you know, traction, right? So getting men attracted isn't your issue. So it's now it's just like really shifting and sorting through and you know, it's like if it's a visceral thing where you're just like nope, but then you really have to trust your gut. Okay. Some women some women are more open to trying different men on for size if the you know, if certain things are there. But some women just are, you know, if you're the kind of woman that doesn't um there's two different kinds of women. Some women just like know right away if there's gonna be physical chemistry or not, and it will never come if they don't feel it from the first meeting. And then other women, you know, the chemistry really takes them by surprise because they get inside of a man's field and they just kind of open up and they feel turned on and exciting. So um so what I'm gonna say is just you know, just onward hoe, like and just meet men for drinks. Don't meet men don't meet men for dinner, just like just do something where you're sandwiching it in. And I would have the expectation that, you know, it was so funny. Um there was a movie star who used to do drive-bys. She used to have man stand on the corner and she used to drive by in her limo. I am not kidding. And if she didn't like the way she that he looked, she would just keep driving. And I can't tell you who that celebrity was, but it was like a very famous person that you all know. Um and uh, you know, I totally love her for that. So so because she was just really clear, it was really clear for her if it was a yes or no. A lot of women though, I do work with them in opening their mind to you know what the the package is, because and what I will say is you can always take somebody shopping. Do you know what I mean? By somebody's body odor, that's like not something we can change. You know, that's just how a person smells. Mm-hmm. Okay, so you get a gold star. I love you. Thank you. Okay, so alright, I'm gonna have uh another gal. Um, is there anybody else that has a question? You can raise your hand, press star too. And we did have some gals that wrote in. I'm gonna take two more questions really quick. And again, if you do, if you are interested in the man magnet, want to talk to me. It's gonna be 25% off, which is cray cray, and that will go out on Monday. But if you're interested, you can email us and we'll get you information tomorrow so you can be dumb rush. Okay. Christy. Hi, sweetheart, what's your question? Hi, um, I I wrote in my question too, but um I really wanted to ask you, so I'm just gonna go ahead. Um, I had done everything right in terms of when I met my guy um almost three years ago, I said on our second date that ultimately I'm looking for the right man to partner with for marriage. And I said that in my profile, and he was he was said, okay, yeah, that's good, that's fine with me. Um and then fast forward, here we are two months before our third anniversary, and we're not married, um, and you know, we're living separately. I mean, I'm in my late 40s, he's in his early 50s, uh, both of us never married. Um, I mean, I brought it up from time to time, um, usually under stressful, like, oh, you know. Um sorry, what is it, what is it that you brought up, sweetheart? Well, I guess I've been irritated when, for example, a girlfriend of mine moved in with her boyfriend after like two months. Um, and I mean we did try living together, but I I ended that because I felt like it's not the experience of marriage. Um, it's just me living at his place. And I know his place. You know, we do um see each other frequently. So Okay, so it just sounds like it just sounds like um you guys aren't committed enough to each other. And this uh this sounds like a deeper conversation. Um so you can email me. And if you want, I you know, I do one-on-one coaching for everybody that's on the call. Um so you can you can all feel free to kind of reach out and try to set up uh, you know, you can set up a uh one hour session. And yeah, so it's very helpful if you're confused and you're not being able to kind of move figure out how to move the relationship forward. And so sometimes, you know, I I I will be able to give you some very specific direction and love scripts about how to communicate your needs in a way where it's not gonna create a big fight or rupture, but just really to get clarity about whether things can work or not. But this is again, you know, it's interesting. A lot of women get into relationships talking before about like lowered expectations. So, you know, it sounds like you sound like your expectations have gotten kind of lowered about what it is that you're actually doing. And and so I would circle back with the assignment that I gave everybody at the beginning, which is to kind of really get clear about what it is you want to create. Right. And and you can work backward from there. Okay? That's a very important exercise to do. All right, darling. Thank you so much. And please feel free to reach out to me Christy. Okay, Lori. Lori. Yes. Hi. Hi. Can you hear me? Oh you can hear me? Great. Hi. I thank you. You're you're right on time for everything I need right now. Is this Lori? Is this my Lori? Yes, it's my Lori. Yes. I mean you're here ago I'm one of your biggest fans. I don't want to say biggest because I'm sure one of the the call feels that way. Oh love you here, Godmother So my general pet peeve is when a date does not pay for the ballet. Like when they're dragging their feet when it's so obvious that they're not it just annoys me. So and then I thought I betted I had a first date last night and look he's a UBS money manager. But he was very much he wanted to do everything by text. And I asked for a call and he had a call and then he made the plan over text and he was very much not being clear well where do you want to meet? And I'm thinking he's asking me out like what's he suggesting? I said and I asked if he wanted to figure it out over the phone and then he called and then where do you want to go? Anyway, so he named Shutters at the beach in Santa Monica met. I couldn't really get a read. I was pretty relaxed. I was cute hour and a half I'm like you know great time need to go and say oh you can leave like I like I'm I'm thinking we would walk out together. Like it just seemed like whatever I didn't like that. I had tea he said cheap date like that was cute. He dragged the ballet I said did you valet? Like yes I will you go first and I'm I'm like I can't believe it's like I'm you know paying for the ballet and he offers to pay but like it's I mean I just think it's not a gentleman and maybe I should change my attitude about that one. But um and then it was just disappointing because I thought he was a reasonable candidate and I felt like I did a good job of being cute and vulnerable and and he just I usually get uh I'd like to see you again and nothing well it just sounds like you guys did not um click. Yeah. It just sounds like you didn't click and so you know just sometimes you meet people and you really want to like them. I call them the perfect on paper prints, right? They just seem like they should be so great and the phone call was so great and then you see them and you just like all of a sudden you're fighting with them about something or you know uh they seem irritated or you get irritated. And I just think that you can trust your intuition about that. And it sounds like you got aggravated with him. Um I did pre I mean I did afterwards. In the moment I was I think I was okay. Like 'cause I I mean usually I g usually my first dates end with they'd like to see me again. And like so I was kind of surprised like it didn't happen at all. 'Cause you know we were joking. Yeah Yeah it just fell flat. So it fell flat and w and where did it fall flat? I I I guess I should have known sooner but I kind of felt that the end 'cause I it felt like an enjoyable conversation. I just think he was holding his cards close and he was, you know, making those calculations. Yes. Well it's kind of like here's the thing this is the problem with dating is that sometimes it's not us that rejects them, it's them that kind of rejects us, right? And it's you know it's gotta really be mutual. And they you know these guys are you know a lot of men are actively dating and dating multiple people because they're trying to find the right person for them. So it has you know the and the thing is is that I always say that if you've got to make up a story about why somebody's not moving forward, make up a story that you like. So you could say, you know, I was just so incredibly hot he was afraid he was going to have erectile dysfunction. Just make up something that's gonna make you feel better because you can't figure it out. And it doesn't sound like you did anything and it doesn't sound like there was any big reveal. He d he just sounds kind of like a savvy dater himself and he sounds like a jealous it's kind of like what I was sharing about in during the call with my client who was really confused because this man sent her a text and said, you know, that you know thanks for meeting me last night. And that's actually um you know the kiss of death. That's like that's like not like you know if a man wants to date you he'll say on the date you know I'd love to see you again, I'll start making plans, you know, he'll try to be you know clear to stake a claim before you leave and or he'll text you on the way home you know or try to kind of get you to go to you know have a drink, you know, try to extend the date but um you know it was nice meeting you is definitely uh we're not going, you know, cyanara sweetheart. So this guy is just like a gentleman and the guy that sent the text you know in the morning for her was actually classy. They're just classy. And um you know they've made they decided to invest their time in meeting you and they made it a pleasant experience but they just opted out for whatever reason which you can't know. Mm-hmm. So he has released you into the wild my lady yes he has awright well you know and honestly it's disappo listen it hurts to get rejected and what I want to say to everybody on the call is that this is why your dream of creating love needs to be bigger than your disappointment. You've your passion and your commitment to creating a relationship needs to be bigger than your hurt feelings about getting dis disappointed by people. Okay so I want you to be committed to you and um truthfully creating love is a spiritual path. It's a I look at it as a spiritual path and sometimes you know if you're committed to creating love sometimes you walk with another and sometimes you go it alone you're walking alone but if you're really committed to creating that kind of union with somebody and you know you need to be willing to keep taking actions to find that person and when people like this opt out it's like go with God Namaste God bless you you know thank you for getting out of my way thank you for releasing me because those kinds of men can kind of keep you tied and in that you know looking in that direction and he he didn't do that. Yeah that's true. And he knows things about himself that you don't know. So that's the thing. It's like you also really don't know. You really don't know. So he he he knows things about himself that you don't know and he's got certain reasons why he's kind of saying yes or no and so you can't really you can't really intuit that but you can just trust the behavior. Okay. Okay my love. I'm encouraged and I've got what darling? I'm encouraged thank you. Good you should be encouraged you're amazing thank you sweetie okay and our last caller is 650297 is the beginning in Mountain View Marie No I no it's a different person. I'm I'm another Anne on the 650 area code. Oh awesome we've got yours so cute. Okay yeah um the reason I'm calling is a girlfriend of mine who's getting married in March set me up with her future brother in law says well the thing is he's from California he relocated to near Atlanta Georgia and I really think he's really hit it off so she gave me his phone number says you know what you give him a call and so I said was there a certain time I should call him you know whatever. So we hit it off right away and we have a lot in common. I'm thinking what can we do to actually get together before the wedding in March I'm in California he's in Georgia Okay wait say that one more time you called him and asked him what you could do to get together before March? No no no no I'm asking you what what do you think? And because like we he's been communicating with me almost every day. You're kidding I now is this ha communicating on the phone or by text? On the phone. On phone and text Oh well you know okay so why don't you say you know it would be lovely to see you before March Okay. 'Cause like I try to be like invited with some because he loves to cook like I do too and he actually sent me he called we joked and we call it food porn right and so I thought Oh my God I I I I said to him I would love it if you cooked dinner for me Well but you know that's not that's not that's not actually what you're want I mean you're wanting that but I think that the more direct thing is to say you know gee you know we seem to be really hitting it off and you know it would be great to see you. It would be great to see you before March. You know it would be wonderful okay you know if we could make that happen. I would love that. And let him think if he says well you know I can't if he can't make that happen there's no hope for you guys. Because you're okay he's in Georgia and you're in California. So you're both gonna have to be really willing to figure out how to bridge the distance gap and I will tell you someone else had written in a question an amazing question um who was it? I'm going through my little questions but it she was basically ah hang on the question was oh here we go Marcy sent us in the lovely Marcy. For a first date a guy asked me to meet them halfway between our hometowns I have I then have traveled 30 to 40 minutes for the date is this okay or how should I be telling them I want them to meet in my local area. So the thing is is that if you're communicating with somebody that's long distance I never want you to go to them unless they send you a plane. Send you a plane to pick you up. Okay? So the first date you could just say listen you know as you know first time meeting I would just feel more comfortable if you kind of came my way and then um you know there's a great hotel that's just you know very close to where I live and um you know I would really love it. You do not want to put them up and you do not want to like be in a situation where they're putting you up because it's a stranger. And even though it's of a friend of a friend you it's still a stran you know you still don't know this person. So that's that's one thing to do. And then the other thing to do is to FaceTime with him I've done that. So I think especially okay great. Okay so you guys like each other. Oh my goodness. So darling so just say you know it would be really lovely to see you. You know, before March You know it would be so great if we could make that happen. And if you feel comfortable because you've been you've been doing a lot of communication, you have another person you know he's not a he's not just kind of off of the web, you like you know a per a real person in your real life. Yes. So you know there's accountability. If he says well you know would you like to come out for the holidays you could say you know that might be fun you could do that. Okay. You know and then how to make a long distance relationship work is a whole nother call. Okay. But I wanted to say you know this is don't waste your time and he's also now taking up a lot of your free time because you're really building what I call it's it's either a romance or it might be a fomance because you might get in get together and just like not feel the vibe. Right. Because you're FaceTiming it's more likely that you will feel the vibe with him. And Tamaron I'm gonna say Tamarin if you're still on the line um you may try face timing with M10. Yeah sometimes we even just like just meet people and it's just not happening. It's really good to FaceTime hey Cameron do you because I'm doing this crazy man magnet crazy discount for people can you just do a little um will you do like a little shout out about the magnet share their experience. Yes because and the reason you're doing this ladies I can um the reason why I'm suggesting that we that you hear this ladies is because the romantic marketing tools it's like one of the best ways if you're feeling invisible or like you're not attracting the kinds of men that you want um it is the quickest way to fix that. So Tamarin just can you just give share them with a little with them a little bit about it baby? Oh for sure yeah definitely like that's so that step in the in the process that you described I definitely I always checked that off because before the magnet I was really I was definitely one of those women who like to show the authentic me which is pretty casual but that's just I mean who I am really like the the feminine beauty the divine sort of feminine beauty I wasn't really showing in photos but it it was the real me and it took the the magnet weekend to help help me discover that and I absolutely do like like the way the clothing that we we picked for me the makeup like it all it all is the real me it's just a way that I didn't know that I didn't realize that there was a way to show it you know in photography without you know I I needed the help. I needed the help and I needed the the camaraderie of the other women it was so fun to see other people make the transformation so I wasn't just doing it by myself. And so I just had a blast and I learned from each person because each person each of us in the group had like different strengths and weaknesses and each of us could see the beauty in the other but then not necessarily in ourselves and so it kind of all together we just kind of like yeah it was agree that it was it's so funny because it was a spiritual experience and oh I still have those pictures I did it another time I still have those pictures and um I yeah I can't say enough I really love my marketing packages and I do get high quality guys saying oh you look stunning your smile so beautiful this and that and and before magnet I kind of I didn't realize that about myself you know I kind of undervalued underestimated my my beauty and my my attractiveness and then post magnet I'm like yeah I have a marketing package that really shows you know and um yeah so it was really life changing for sure. You are image of beauty and yeah she was just totally you know you've got this kind of like beautiful boho kind of look and you know you're an attorney right so you're just you've got like this professional look and then you've got this kind of like super casual groovy look and so this um this was a really profound uh kind of shift and you look so insanely beautiful you're just so insanely beautiful. So I'm so happy thank you so much for sharing that and call let's let's make let's let's talk tomorrow. Let's make a time for you and I just say hi. Okay I love you. Thank you Lori Lori Hi honey do you want to like give a little magnet uh uh yes child review I would love to I was uh I was so listening to her last caller and and thinking yes yes I I completely agree so I did mine um it's almost my year anniversary and I know it was so great it was so encouraging it was so much fun something I didn't think about was how much I enjoyed getting to know the other ladies. I think they were awesome. And we've um done a few calls since and I just it was so encouraging to be in their company and I like I felt like I made new friends and we've really we really connected so that was a huge plus and I feel like you have all like you help us get prepared with the toolkit and you help emotionally like give that bolster you know support like you just really very like in a very godmother way yet also very medically like identify you know kind of where each person needs to build you know whether it's like a literal wardrobe or if it's encouragement or if it's um just observing uh like a pattern uh and the every part of the weekend's phenomenal like it's so much fun to do the shopping and the the makeover and then the photo shoot's fun it's great to go out and practice in the field and then I really loved your feedback kind of the you you really you you always kind of nail it on the head like you very quickly assess a situation and give incredibly valuable feedback. So it's more I think really I remember one of our one of the friends one of the ladies said like even if it didn't work out like she felt like you know what she's giving her the best shot like there isn't like a better launch and preparation than we could have you and then it was kind of just kind of surrendering whatever the outcome is like you know what this is like a really you know this is good and and I mean one of the ladies has been um Susan in New York is you know she's well on her way to happily ever after. I know it's amazing and I picked he we uh saw his photo in one of the Magnet Telecalls so after that we do this three day event and people flying from all over the world it's so fun. Um and everybody stays kind of like in a bachelorette mansion and it's just like it's just such a ball. But um we have a teleclass a four-part teleclass afterwards to help implement the launch and to teach people how to flirt effectively and we do the screen sharing thing and I kind of get into people's profiles so you can see what I'm seeing and I teach women how to flirt right and I flirt as you I'm like kind of Sono and Susan oop y well we can say her first name um you know there was a guy and then she's like what about this guy? I don't know and I was like this guy's amazing and she's like really I was like oh my God he is together he's got you know so one of the things that it's very helpful to do and one of the big secrets about not wasting your time is to really learn how to you know see into these profiles the way that I see them. I am like a romantic I'm a romantic profiler. I'm like a homicide detective or a reality show producer I really profile can pro I've learned how to profile people and just the way the order of the way that men lay out their photos and then what they say about themselves and how they describe it and the places that they're photographed in and the places that they say that they like really I'm able to get a very uh almost like instantaneous knowing about who I'm looking at. So one of the big keys to to not wasting your time is to really learn how to see to to really truly see and comprehend what you're looking at and make sense of it. Because sometimes it's just like it's hard for people to learn how to make it add up. And so I so I said no this guy's the a prince and in fact I think it was her first or second I think it was her first or second date for match and they're they've been together for nine months now and they are you know it is a match and I had dinner with them. We both went out we all went out to dinner in New York. It was so and she's never been so happy and she's never really been in love. Like she had a tri you know she did not have a lot of um you know she did not have successful relationship experience before. So it's like and he's the most he's like he's so successful, so handsome, it's so crazy about her. And she just she's never had less stress and she also you know we say when you're with the right guy it's not a lot of work. Like the guy should really know how to do his part. And it should be you should be like sitting back and kind of like answering the phone and being enthusiastic but she's not making anything happen with him. You know, and in fact the only thing that she's having to deal with is the fact that he wants to see her all the time. And I said, Oh, you're used to being single. She's so the adjustment she has to make is she's never really been in like a you know, really deeply full relationship and so she's having really to learn how to kind of make time and not to see people when she's all you know, only at her best and all put together they're having like a real relationship. So it's so touching. But I just love you so much, Lori. And you know, you will find your man as God is my witness. If God is my witness, you will find your man and you're really doing the footwork, sweetheart. So it's not, you know, I always say it's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when, when someone's doing doing the doing what you're doing, which is taking, you know, if you're not only hoping you're gonna find somebody, you're taking action on meeting your destiny. My darling. I love you. Call me, you call me tomorrow too. Okay, so my ladies, I love you. I'm gonna unmute everybody. Did everybody have fun on this call? If you did, go, hell yeah. Hell yeah. Okay. Listen, ladies, it's gonna be a new year. We're going through the holiday season. I do not want you being bummed out if you're single, okay? I want you to get committed to creating love. Don't be sad about being single. Up level your commitment to creating love. And here's a couple of ways you can do it. If you're not on dating apps or dating sites, sign up for one. If you're not on match.com, I will tell you a lot of men jumped off of match.com and they're back because Tinder and Bumble, there's not a lot of information. So people really are wasting a lot of time. If you have not taken the Man Magnet makeover, I cannot like encourage you enough to at least set up a phone call with me because it's I swear to God, it's so it is so powerful and it's so fast. Literally, like people walk in and then they walk out three days later and they're transformed, and it's fun. So, and there's a payment plan, and I'm making it affordable for you. So please avail yourself of that. And if you cannot do that, take get my cyber flirt toolkit, which is online, and wait, don't get it tonight. Wait until Cyber Monday when everything will be 50% off at my love store. You'll be getting a little email where you can click through and look at all my programs. Another amazing program is Get the Ring. If you're confused about dating or confused about boundary setting, like one of the gals was on the call, uh talking about on the call, or you're having uh a hard time getting a man to step up and commit, you know, you'll find a lot of information. I think it's like 19 podcasts and an online community. And then I have another program that's amazing called The Legendary Love, which is about my heart healing, heart wound work uh work. So if you've had traumas in the past and are having a hard time, you know, kind of opening up or you seem to keep attracting men that hurt you in the same specific ways, this program literally un it disrupts that circuit circuitry and allows you to really create from a higher place. Because the truth is, is that when women kind of don't get what they want, it's like it's just a fail I swear to God, it's a failure of information, and it's a failure of education, and it's a uh lack of inspiration. Okay, so I don't want you to have a failure of imagination, and I've got a lot of imagination, and it's practical. You know, I really love creating practical how-to things. So you're not allowed to be bummed out too much. You can be sad, you know, being lonely. I'm I'm never worried about the people, you know, that are a little lonely, um, or even very lonely, or even super sad uh about not having love. I get worried about the people that just don't feel anything and that are numbed out and just say, oh, well, you know, maybe the universe will take care of it if it's supposed to happen. Because triple, the universe is very busy managing black holes and DNA strands, and it would like your help. And you know, it'll give you a little nudge in the right direction, and you're on this call. So that was like a little nudge from the universal powers that be that um, you know, it's time for you to put the focus on you, and you really deserve to be loved, my ladies. So I adore you, and this wraps up Lauren's love script, How to Stop Dating Turkeys and Find a Lovebird and Dating Strategies for the Busy, successful woman. I adore you, and um until next time. And uh repeat after me, all my ladies say onward ho. Ready? One, two, three. Onward hours. Happy Thanksgiving. Happy for you. Thank you, love you. Happy Thanksgiving. Thank you. Thank you, Doran. That was so fun. So follow me at Lauren Francis Love on Instagram, and you can join me at LaurenFrancis.com, and this has been Lauren's Love Scripts Podcast. The moderator has left the conference. The conference is now completed. Goodbye. Please enter the conference ID, followed by the county. Guest ID accepted.