The Original canceled radio guys. Chris and Costello: SEASON 6

Winter Whimsy: Playoff Thrills, Silver Screen Hopes, and the Comedy Tightrope

Chris and Costello Season 5 Episode 5

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Shivering through the January blues, we unpacked the peculiarities of the season's chill and the audacious neighbors defying the cold. While traversing Colorado's treacherous, ice-slicked roads, we found ourselves musing over the Kansas City Chiefs' exhilarating playoff journey and the enigma of cheerleaders vanishing from our TV screens. As the fervor of football swept us into a whirlwind of nostalgia, we laughed at the touchdown dances of yore, and I shared a personal toast to my four-decade-long American adventure, deepening my bonds with the sport. 

The silver screen beckoned us to Las Vegas' glittering promise of the upcoming Super Bowl, luring us into discussions of tantalizing, yet bizarre new films like "Poor Things" and the acclaimed "Killers of the Flower Moon." Our chatter took a personal turn when Ozempic made an unexpected entrance into the weight loss narrative, leading to chuckles about sound effects and our jests at football lingo. We didn't shy away from the heavier topics either, such as Will Smith's Oscars ban or the heartfelt melodies of Melanie, blending a tapestry of reflection that spans the spectrum of entertainment.

Rounding off our eclectic conversation, we took aim at the delicate art of comedy in the era of cancel culture, applauding Ricky Gervais and Dusty Slay for their unique spins on humor. Politics wasn't off-limits; we shared candid takes on global leadership and local kindness—like the story of an unappreciated foot massager gift. And as we closed the curtain on this episode, we pondered the fiasco of an unnamed comedian's chilly reception at the Golden Globes—another reminder of showbiz's unpredictable tides. Join us for this rollercoaster ride of emotions, analysis, and, of course, hearty laughter.

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Chris Bailey:

Hey, welcome to January everybody.

Costello:

This is Chris. This is Costello. Yuck, that's all I'll say about January. Yuck.

Chris Bailey:

It's horrible. It's really kind of a bummer, isn't it? It's just like you know, the weather's lousy everywhere. I see I'm going to beat you to it. Talk about the weather.

Costello:

Well, I do know it's raining. Mind you, we've gone from uh like minus six to seventy-four Presently.

Chris Bailey:

You're seventy-four today, yep.

Costello:

But it's also, but it's raining and it sucks. Nothing happens in January.

Chris Bailey:

Now we've done the national weather report, you want to go and do some traffic? Sure, slip, slide in the way. Look out your window, oh new cars, no cars no cars, no, no.

Costello:

Oh, there goes one down the street. There was only three wheels. Amazing. Now they did.

Chris Bailey:

No lack of visibility from the smoke from your neighbor's backyard fire.

Costello:

And the front yard. Do you know what? On the coldest night in over 50 years, they were outside with a fire going. I said like, go inside, go inside, please, and shut up. I know where the noise is coming from. Now I know who it is. Now I can, uh, do something about it.

Chris Bailey:

Your neighbors are a trip. What is the minus 16 degrees out in Colorado? I had to go, so I drove through the middle of the Rocky Mountains minus 16 degrees. I 70 is sheet of ice and you know there were trucks on the side of the road, there were jackknifes, semis everywhere. There were records everywhere and I in like an idiot there as I scooted through, took me almost seven hours to get from one part of the middle of the state to the western side, which normally takes me like three and a half. You know it was white knuckle all the way. They could tell I'm moving. You know it feels like when you don't feel like you have traction underneath your car you feel like

Chris Bailey:

you don't have control of your car and my life with me. Yeah, any slight little movement. If I just moved the wheel a little bit, I'd be spinning.

Costello:

Most sane people wouldn't go out and do that, but you.

Chris Bailey:

I know I always seem to get stuck driving to these damn things.

Costello:

So yeah, well I made it through, okay, and when you listen to our show, like you promised, like what you do? No, no, attention to it at all, because you know, isn't it funny, when you get lost or you get in a bad situation, you turn the radio down.

Chris Bailey:

I don't know if you're good right Now. I kept it up. I just said, I just think I just go in and tell me you shut up, I can't concentrate.

Costello:

Well, I mean you know I honestly can remember turning down the radio because you know I'm having to concentrate on directions before GPS and you know, turn the radio.

Chris Bailey:

I'm yelling at you like you're sitting next to me. I'm just going oh, it's just him, but he's not here. So we're talking to you, freaking yourself out. The rest of the weather sucks. It's like this year, it's like primary season, it's award season. Yuck, you know what? What do we have to turn to? Do you know what? Let me tell you Football Football. Oh, I see, yes, tay, tay Of course, you know some people don't like it, but it's just it's like this time next year.

Chris Bailey:

It'll all be a thing in the past anyway. So if the chiefs would lose a game, you wouldn't have to deal with it. But they, just here they are, they know how to play when it comes to playoff time. Mahomi gets hot, he gets hot. I mean, you watch the games right? Oh yeah yeah, it was kind of good.

Costello:

Well, this was their first away game. Now you know what I was thinking. Wait a minute, this can't be his first away game. His first playoff Playoff away game? Yes, exactly, make any damn difference. But he wasn't quite as sharp as usual, I thought. And of course, they can't hear the new word that I just learned today. Thank you, bailey Cadence.

Chris Bailey:

Right, you didn't know what that is the quarterback Cadence, so is that there here?

Costello:

we go.

Chris Bailey:

Omaha. I mean everyone's got their own home and Mahomes has got myself a call that's. Mahomes, that's it. I'm going off the surface linemen. They're going. What do you say? A number? Do you say something? No, do you?

Costello:

get that yeah.

Chris Bailey:

Used to his voice.

Costello:

You know, can you imagine? One of the linemen just stopping and just going time out. Okay, what the f**k are you talking about?

Chris Bailey:

Right, they do in practice, I'm sure. Oh, so what? I mean you're going to hike the ball, okay.

Costello:

Oh, okay, very good.

Chris Bailey:

Omaha. You're, your, your, your, your. Stiff who can't win the big game? Dak Prescott, the Cowboys, If you notice, as always, here we go. So he said here we go. The next thing he said that means you're going to. You snap the ball, Yep.

Costello:

Well, it doesn't take long to figure that out.

Chris Bailey:

Well, it's good for your offensive linemen, but it's good for the defense as well too, if you go here he goes like let's just go running in, the guy's going to hike the ball next. Here we go.

Costello:

You got to think change the example of it, here's a question for oh question.

Chris Bailey:

Yes, you in the back, sir.

Costello:

Thank you. Thank you, I got. I got a one of. They spend all this time and money on having very attractive young ladies cheerleaders out there, and some of them are very attractive, but you never see them on TV. I mean it's like why? Well, I mean it's part of it, isn't it? I mean I mean it's, I mean it's not.

Chris Bailey:

They used to show them, but now they show the luxury box Jason Kelsey with his shirt off. Let's show that. Oh well, yeah, I don't want to see that. I don't want to see that.

Costello:

He did, he did retire, didn't he? Oh, he said he was going to.

Chris Bailey:

He didn't say that he hasn't decided yet. Oh, I he would love. Because he was, like upset on the sidelines at the last Philadelphia Eagles game. He was emotional, he's hugging his teammates, he's crying. They thought, because he's in it, they're, they're my, they're that way because it's his last game. They ever thought about the fact that they just lost a playoff game. It could be emotional over that as well too. You think, yeah, he is 36. When that happens, you give yourself a break and you think about things and then you make the decision. You ever make a big, emotional decision like that you know, we lost.

Chris Bailey:

I'm doing them out. You know what you would think of on retiring.

Costello:

You know it does rather irritate me when I hear them say you know he's 38. It's so freaking what I mean. I know a lot of the other, especially like Green Bay, and a lot of their players are in their 20s and, yeah, you can't really play football when you're 40 something you can try, but your wife will leave you.

Chris Bailey:

Well, great Brady did, but he was in a plated position, that you know, yeah and his wife right now, that take too much of a beating. But if you I mean the game, the game is very fast.

Speaker 3:

I know what I mean.

Chris Bailey:

What I'm the young is for you. In your 20s, you hit 30s you slow down some, yeah, not the same. You injure more, you and you. You heal slower.

Costello:

That's true, but the point of it I was just trying to say is like, wow, these guys are like really old, death 30s, like oh, come on, ha, aren't you? We used to say that about rock stars too, you know.

Chris Bailey:

I mean I.

Costello:

I do you well, I don't remember, but in football years that's.

Chris Bailey:

That's very old.

Costello:

Yeah, I guess, so they just it just rocks.

Chris Bailey:

All years used to be when you 30 30 or 40.

Costello:

I'm gonna make Jagger hits 40.

Chris Bailey:

Oh my god little thing I look back is just like the most creative songs that artists Right, the best songs that artists right Are in their 20s. When they hit 30 you always say is like who has hits after 30? Not too many people 34 is still writing it it's, it's.

Costello:

It's a bit like you know. Your first album is great, your second album is wonderful, your third album sucks and I like Lady Gaga, is now an international superstar.

Chris Bailey:

She has residency in Vegas and whatever, but what was her last hit single before she was 30? Really Think back. Well, yeah, I know poker poker face, I was like yeah, I was like 2007 or so it's been 15 years ago.

Costello:

Damn that's what I mean.

Chris Bailey:

Where'd the time?

Costello:

go. Yeah, my blinked, you woke up. He woke up with holy shit, I'm all. But anyway, that was just just my bitch about football. And Whenever they have a fight, they always cut away. Now in hockey it's the other way around, like never mind, they're playing the scoring at the other end, but these two guys have been the shit out of each other. Hey, hey, it's funny that cut away.

Chris Bailey:

They do easy in them pretty quick.

Costello:

So well, they have to. I mean, those are some big, those are some big guys, man. I mean.

Chris Bailey:

So there's linebackers man, let me throw a punch on a guy. He's wearing a helmet.

Costello:

That's also true.

Chris Bailey:

Yeah, well, yeah, I'm going to break my hands. What they do is they push. They push each other. That's it.

Costello:

I've seen him throw a punch every once in a while. Stupid, like you say he was you. He might give him whiplash, he might break his neck, but unlikely, your hand.

Chris Bailey:

A little self-defeating because you got the best teams and they're playing, they're playing, they're playing their best football games and always shooting pretty close. I mean, with that Kansas City Buffalo thing, I think people felt bad for Buffalo but you know, it's like they know how to turn up yet to make Kelsey had a big game.

Costello:

Yeah, y'all remember when he intercepted the ball and his pants fell off and then he ran for the touchdown bare ass.

Chris Bailey:

And after he scored that touchdown he went, he did the, he did the lover boy thing. He turned in the end zone, he looked up at the sky box and he gave Tay Tay the little heart sign and then he blew a kiss to his mom. I love my mama very much. Now you know that. And after that and after you know Buffalo went Wide right on the kick again can like a bad flashback for that team back to the 90s when they Also super role because the field go winning, field going wide right.

Chris Bailey:

It was a shorty, it's just like oh so anyway, some Kelsey didn't care. I mean, he's happy they won there. They're blow it, they're waving, you know, bye-bye to the chief fans through the ticket them off their pelton. I'm with snowballs. He said they're going. I'm gonna have a date with Tay Tay. There's a shower getting ready and stuff all his teammates to give him a crab wise in the shower. They don't get past Baltimore, which is a, which is a big gift because it's in Baltimore. Baltimore is really good this year and the Mark Jackson's on a mission. But if they do win, they go to the Super Bowl. Here's the issue. Taylor Swift Be out of the country. She has to resume her heiress tour in February and that means you know he'll be playing football and she won't be there.

Speaker 3:

Foosball oh you planned a foosball behind my back.

Costello:

So that goes my money on the Kansas City Chiefs. Thank you very much. I don't you know.

Chris Bailey:

I don't know what the line is for this weekend's game, so I would think Baltimore is probably a slight favorite to see our home and they've been playing great football. I think he won like six, seven in a row. She's had two, but it'd be a good game to running quarterback. So Don't be fun, fun, fun. So we, we got my homies, but you know, you gotta admit he, he wasn't intimidated. Last Sunday, my homies, you know Josh Allen's a big dude man. He played like a giant warrior. See way, my homes. I'm sure because this is you, your mr January, that you're gonna try your best to beat the Ravens this Sunday. Oh, do not, there is no try. Oh, hey, hey, my homies, you throwing shade there, lamar Jackson, because you know what the hell he just said.

Costello:

I think it's something about Tay Tay and Boy she bangs. Good, I think. I'm not sure oh.

Chris Bailey:

Really he's a great talent, but he talks, he talks and sounds just like Yoda's brother.

Costello:

And it's weird in it the way he does. That is very strange. See, that's that's the whole thing you could. You can watch football on a different level if you don't know what the hell's going on. You can we just make stuff up, primarily for me, because I don't really understand it all, but I try.

Chris Bailey:

I happen to be watching the first time Patrick Mahomes played his very first game.

Chris Bailey:

Well, he was playing like the first year behind Alex Smith and they traded him to Washington. But it when he played, it was he was playing here in Denver. Now he was doing all kinds of. He started doing the Mahomes stuff. He threw a pass left-handed and stuff and everyone's going what the hell is that? And just it was great. Of course they won. Yep, if you're after, the game was the funniest thing because no one's that really heard him really speak before. Yeah, if you're in stuff, everyone goes going back to the local cutaways. They're all going what is he? What is he? What is he? The gravel, what was he put that? Kind of voices that. But now we're all used to. When first I heard it go, what is that? It's Yoda.

Costello:

It's like the throat singing. If you ever heard that Yep people sing in their throats. Really a bizarre sound.

Chris Bailey:

Yeah, yeah, trip, he's a number one trash talker out there too, man, he talks trash but doesn't like most, most of those players he he backs it all up.

Costello:

I wonder, though, if it's kind of okay, listen, you can do this to him, you can do that to him, but Don't destroy my homes. Okay, just just kind of. You know, if you get, if you think you're gonna step on his throat, try, and maybe that's what happened. Try and avoid that if you possibly can, because we want to keep him playing.

Chris Bailey:

I mean, whether you're a Kansas City fan or not, we want to keep him out there playing.

Costello:

Well, what I'm saying is that you know you just.

Chris Bailey:

I can, I can, I can mic'd up sometimes like everybody's scored the touchdown, he'll be yelling at the, the opposition. I'm here all week, that's right, I'm doing this. I'm here all week, I'm doing it all day, doing it all night. Just trash talks in their face, you know.

Costello:

I do, you know. I'm glad to see that they don't do things like the shuffle anymore, those little dances.

Chris Bailey:

They do a little bit, but he got a little out of hand there for a while, you know we don't know if you're doing the shuffle or not, because when they score a touchdown they go straight to the luxury suite. We can't see what they're doing. Well, yeah.

Costello:

I was. I remember the Iggy shuffle, the Bears, the birds.

Chris Bailey:

Yeah, oh yeah. I remember being a Falcon fan. We did the Dirty Bird, the Falcon, the Atlanta Falcons, their head, oh, okay.

Costello:

Is that a? Is that a football team? Is that a football team?

Speaker 3:

Geez.

Chris Bailey:

They're in our peak days because it's always you're hot, you're golden, but they are touchdown dancers used to be the Dirty Bird, yeah.

Costello:

Okay, you do, it was just getting a little. I mean, they said some of those players still do that on their own and say oh, come on, that's what you pay to do, pal you know, and who was one of the most famous Falcons, who did the Dirty Bird in his young career.

Chris Bailey:

Big Bird, no, coach Prime, oh okay. He was drafted by the Atlanta Falcons. That was this NFL first team, and when he would do the high step into the end zone, he got there. He'd do the thing, do the Dirty Bird.

Costello:

Oh, okay. Well, there you go, you learned something today. That and cadence Well, isn't that wonderful.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, yeah.

Costello:

You know, and of course, here in America now we got a lot of listeners all over the world, as you know. So that's why that's why I kind of feel a little bad about talking football, because we're talking what the fuck are you talking about? So hopefully we're making this at least a entertaining somewhat and understandable those who aren't steeped in football like this debate.

Chris Bailey:

How long have?

Costello:

you been in this country? How long have you been?

Chris Bailey:

in the US 30 years, 35 years oh.

Costello:

Christ, no more than that. And, as a matter of fact, valentine's Day and you were about talking football 42 years.

Chris Bailey:

42 years which is going to be Vegas this year. Yeah, it's wrong with you boy.

Costello:

That's amazing 42 years. I think yeah, when are we?

Chris Bailey:

Either 43 or 42 years. You're talking football.

Costello:

But I mean, I'd watch it, but I didn't know what was going on.

Speaker 3:

Get off me, Idiot. What are you here?

Chris Bailey:

take, give him a wave Ow, you need that, thank you.

Costello:

Can I have another one please? Matron, snap out of it. Man, snap out of it. Come on, ow, no, right, already Go off. Bloody hell, listen Gotcha.

Chris Bailey:

You know you'd be watching the game this Sunday. It's a big deal. The winner of these two games will be the two playing in Super Bowl a couple weeks in Las Vegas.

Costello:

I know that's what I hear In Vegas.

Chris Bailey:

We need to start to hear.

Costello:

It's not a rumor, it's fact, I know, I know. I think it's amazing. My youngest daughter is in Vegas. She works, she's a 911 operator. Hello, 911. What have you done this time? She's going to be busy. She's going to be busy, yeah.

Chris Bailey:

So she was too. I'm leaving for Vegas on Saturday. Are you driving?

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Costello:

Oh God yeah.

Chris Bailey:

Weather report looks good. No storm in the forecast. Oh OK, you can do as fast as I can.

Costello:

Yeah, you'll be able to get there without going sideways. Cool, all right, that's good.

Chris Bailey:

You know, the other, the other. You'll be sitting there reading the Academy Award nominations, right? Oh yeah?

Costello:

You know what? There's a few movies I really really need to go see One's in your Minium at all.

Chris Bailey:

I say I, oh, I haven't. I saw Barbie.

Costello:

You saw Oppenheimer, I assume no.

Speaker 4:

Oh, you didn't do the double feature.

Costello:

OK, no that, there's just all the one. The one particular one that I want to see is called poor things. It looks great. It is one of those ones you can't really explain.

Chris Bailey:

You've got us you've got us in the trailer.

Costello:

What's that? What's it about? It's well, that's what I'm trying to say. You can she it's. It's about, oh gosh.

Chris Bailey:

In football we talk cadence. In the movie we talk plot. There's got to be plot.

Costello:

Well, the plot is something about these people who are ages, figured mentally and physically, and so it's, it's, but it's, but it's all done in a kind of time warp sort of thing. It's, it looks like I don't, because I haven't seen it obviously. Oh it just it looks kind of. I was going to use the word goth, I was going to use the word goth, but that's kind of wrong.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, you have to see it it looks good.

Costello:

That's all I can say. What else is out there that anything? You want to see the Martin Scorsese movie? I really want to see which is. Which one is that I'm going to screw?

Chris Bailey:

the title up. See see, thank you. No, I don't it's. It's kind of a long title, I don't know the whole thing. It's like something the flower moon you know what I mean Kills the flower moon. Did it Something like that?

Costello:

Something. I was trying to look it up real quick. We're both sounding really stupid. You know that. Right, we might just cut this out. Oh no, oh man, oh, this is terrible.

Chris Bailey:

Well, most people, most people don't, you know, I mean, it's already, you can already watch it on streaming service right now. You know, that's true.

Costello:

Yes, that's true.

Chris Bailey:

Yes.

Costello:

Yeah Well, these other ones like a poor people killers, killers of the flower moon, okay. Yes.

Chris Bailey:

That's streaming streaming on Apple TV right now. Leonardo DiCaprio's in it. He was not nominated for Academy Award, but his co-star, robert De Niro, was for Best Supporting Act. Martin Scorsese was nominated for Best Director, as was the movie. So I mean it's going to. It's going to be a really good movie. So it's like Oppenheimer told us three hour deals, right, I got to pick the right moment and you really snap out of it a lot today Ah.

Costello:

Snap out of it. No, okay, my bum's roaring off. You can put that away now.

Chris Bailey:

Oh, just give you an update. You know we'll get back to Academy Like a butt rash that just won't go away. Here's Chris and Costello, but I have lost 20 pounds. Where'd you put?

Costello:

it Okay, take a seat. Idiot Heckler Go ahead, Go shit at him. Oh no, Bailey's found the effects machine. Oh no, this is not good man. I've always loved drops.

Chris Bailey:

Yeah, I can tell you know.

Costello:

Well, you know, I'm only going to get worse. Twenty pounds, hey, well, there is a yes. Well, very good, that's actually, that's very good.

Chris Bailey:

That's very good. Is it due to diet? Nope, nope. Is it due to exercise? Nope. Did I stop drinking? Nope. We can tell I stick a zip in my tummy once a week.

Costello:

Just once a week. Wow, that's it. That's cool. Well, congratulations, ozan Pig.

Chris Bailey:

Man, I get the walk around singing the jingle O O.

Speaker 3:

Ozan Pig, ozan Pig with Kobe Monjaro. No more sorrow. I don't care about my face, just a little tiny waist. Put that shot in me.

Chris Bailey:

Put that shot in me. I'm an old guy and, as a matter of fact, on the like today, today, our recording day, wednesday is my Ozympic.

Costello:

Day. I was gonna say I thought you were birthday. No, that was a little back.

Speaker 4:

No, today we're here, so you only have to stick yourself once.

Costello:

Jeez, that's nice. That's nice. That's nice because when I got out of hospital here, I was sticking myself four, five times a day, not with the Ozympic, but with the Insulin Crystal meth. It'll be a bad idea to get some shit done around here. Yeah, Maybe you'll understand football if I get you all yeah yeah, yeah, get me all amped up and my teeth fall out.

Chris Bailey:

There's cadence before he acts the ball. He knows what a cadence is Great.

Costello:

Just don't ask me what a quarterback is.

Chris Bailey:

Just don't ask me. Go watch some Academy Award nominated movies. I mean, you're gonna watch the Academy Award? I mean, just a year ago, will Smith was bitch slapping Chris Rock. So there'll be no Will Smith this year and for the next nine years too. He's banned for 10 years. That's right he is, isn't he?

Costello:

I was starting to remember whether it was a golden, what it was. It was the Oscars. He did that right, yep.

Chris Bailey:

And the tradition is the winner of last year big awards. They give the awards to this year's winner. Like usually, last year's best actor gives the award to this year's best actor. Well, last year's best actor was Will Smith. He won't be there, no he won't.

Costello:

I wonder if his wife well, his almost ex-wife remember that. How, how well he could be my husband now because he stood up for me. You know, I can't stand that one.

Chris Bailey:

Sorry, I just can't Talking of women, she's abused the guy in that talk show, what secrets are the red table? And she, she banged the dancer on the damn red table. I mean, you know, I don't, I just, oh, she did I didn't see that bit Well she didn't show that part. She didn't show that part, she talked about it, though, but she she's called which it wasn't like.

Chris Bailey:

So she didn't. She didn't bang him. It wasn't an affair. It wasn't cheating. What was it? It was a. She had a different word for the whole deal.

Costello:

No, well, expressing my difference. There you go. Maybe that's what it was. Hey, you know what? I was just looking through this and I think this is. This is really sad. Remember Melanie, the woman who's she had this song called Brand New Key? Maybe you don't remember.

Chris Bailey:

I know the song.

Costello:

Yeah, and I know Melody sure, yeah. Well, she died today, about an hour ago, going to this. And that's a real shame, because you know what. I have watched her. Oh God, she was cute. She was so cute when she was well. She wasn't too bad when she was older either, but she did a thing with Miley Cyrus in a backyard and it was so good and she was just really, how did that happen?

Chris Bailey:

Because she has this one hit years and years and years ago. What's she doing with Miley Cyrus? She had more than one hit.

Costello:

She not in this country. Maybe, yeah, exactly, Maybe not in this country, but if you look her up on Google, you see. You know, I'm true, she didn't do much, it's like you have when you're talking about Sinead O'Connor.

Chris Bailey:

Maybe she only had like one hit and then mediocre and that was it. But it where you're from, yeah, you know, it's like she had multiple European hits.

Costello:

No, she did, but not here.

Chris Bailey:

Huge.

Costello:

Huge.

Chris Bailey:

I'm trying to remember what the other that's why, when Sinead and Melody died together here in the United States. We don't care. Oh, you should, you should. I'm about five seconds. I did for about five seconds, okay.

Costello:

Yeah, okay, oh well, she's still doing.

Chris Bailey:

I'm done with it now. It's good.

Costello:

No, okay, I'm sorry. Well, I just it's just odd that I was looking her up the other day on.

Chris Bailey:

But to be an explainer what was she doing with Miley Cyrus?

Costello:

Miley had this thing where they would, she'd invite various people over and they would record songs outside in a backyard and it's really good. I mean, there was some.

Chris Bailey:

Yeah, I just. I like the idea, but where did Melody come?

Costello:

from Well, that was a big song and she's you know she done?

Chris Bailey:

Yeah, but the long time ago did she redo it, no.

Speaker 3:

Well, it's the only thing I could do. Right, it's turning out wrong. Look what they've done to my song. Look what they've done to my brain, mom. Look what they've done to my brain. Well, they've picked it like a chicken bone and I think I'm having insane mental health.

Chris Bailey:

Miley, who's just not even 30 yet, and she also has a melody up to do brand new human.

Costello:

I tell you what she did have. She had another hit Rupi Tuesday, the one with the sun sign. Not in this kind. Yes, she did Not in this kind In 1971. And let me see, it was a top 10 hit and it was number one In 1971, the year of the dragon.

Speaker 3:

But, anyway.

Costello:

Point of it is she was good. She's now dead. It's a shame, I'm sorry. I was listening to her on YouTube and I also found something else. I know you should know about this. Well, I would imagine you didn't. There was an old girl band called Fanny terrible name but very good musicians. Do you remember Fanny? No, you don't. No, never mind. Then, Well, that's why, because it was a dreadful name. But I was also just looking them up on YouTube as I came across. I wonder what they sounded like, because I'd heard of them and see it was two sisters from the Philippines. A man, could she play guitar? Damn, I tell you what worth looking up on the big worldwide web. As far as I know, she's alive if that helps.

Chris Bailey:

Yeah, if you Google. Rupi Tuesday by Malady. Yes, this country it does the betting pull up.

Costello:

Really.

Chris Bailey:

It was in a hit in this country.

Costello:

Well, that's what it said here.

Chris Bailey:

He'd go back and check it up again.

Costello:

OK, well then, Google this lay down was another big. That was in England, candles in the Rain. That was also her song, but not here. Ok, well, we don't just broadcast to here.

Chris Bailey:

The majority because we're both here in the United States. You've been there for over 30 years.

Costello:

I know, I just like to, and you were to be in England. I would just like people to feel included. That's all Because you're included. Well, we need everybody. We want everybody to listen to the original canceled radio, guys.

Chris Bailey:

Everybody. Well, we can't listen to all over it, so I'm with you. Yeah, just lay down by Melody, ok, yes, sharp positions by country, you ready? Ok, australia, lay down, was number two, canada, number one. There you go. Not surprised, they always follow what England does. And the Netherlands, of course, that hotbed of music number one in the United States, number six.

Costello:

That's not so bad.

Chris Bailey:

No, so I lay corrected. I don't remember that song or the rut.

Costello:

When you hear it. Well, you know there are some songs you just they don't get. After play, you know they said they're done, which is a shame, and shame about that song, because it's a good song. In fact it's quite relevant now. So there you go.

Chris Bailey:

Paul man, Melody's Mon. They're going to probably put her next to Sinead, you think.

Costello:

Just a thought. Well, let's see she was from. Where was she from? Lebanon, I think she was cute, though God, she was cute Anyway.

Chris Bailey:

Melody was from Lebanon. I mean, she looked like a when she blonde. No, she was a raisin head long hair, Just uh, I don't know and I've met you at long hair. I remember she was quite cute. I just remember having blonde hair.

Costello:

No, never blonde hair. You're thinking of Miley. No, don't stir that up again.

Chris Bailey:

I was watching Mr Pettifile no that's no.

Costello:

How old is Miley now? How old?

Chris Bailey:

is she? I know you, you liked her when she was Hannah Montana.

Costello:

Yep, yes, I did. Yes, I thought she had a great voice. Then too, she was her hardest but she was underage. No, yeah, well, you know, stop it, move along.

Chris Bailey:

You have a moment of silence for Sinead and Melody there we go, do we? Have to do this again. Back to Kristen Costa. You know, in some songs hold up the test of time pretty good and they still sound good, good today's. He did 30, 40, 50 years ago Brand new keys. Not one, that's it. Well, there were the. I wouldn't think so, would you?

Costello:

Only because the Wersels re-did a version of it and they called it their brand new combined harvester. That was it. That was their song, their take of her song, which was awful, but her song was good, it was fun. It was done by who? This? Is this an English band? Right yeah, the Wersels seems like it was.

Chris Bailey:

It seems like you can look things up quicker than I can.

Costello:

So go right ahead and we'll just have a little bit of music. How the hell do you spell Wersels? I'm not going to look at it W-O-R-Z-E-L-S. Wersel.

Chris Bailey:

Sounds like something I picked off my butt this morning. What is that?

Costello:

I get to have a Wersel, wersel, wersel, wersel. Where's it? Wersel actually is a Cornish. Oh, it was right. It was right next to the Hooters. Well, you keep your Hooters out of this, please. God, this is terrible. That was the first time I heard that this is terrible. I mean, you know?

Chris Bailey:

the, the, the sound of the Wersel. The sun's gone down.

Costello:

It's, it's February and we just just scrambling for things to talk about Without, without of course going into the politics, what? The Hooters yeah, the Hooters yeah, and that's like something that stuck to your skin. You got to get that off.

Chris Bailey:

What? What's it made for? For the English audience? Okay, yes, politics and stuff. One of the most streamed shows in the month of January on Netflix is the Ricky Gervais standup comedy special. Oh really, Hmm, and you probably haven't even seen it. I don't really care for him particularly. It's really funny.

Costello:

Oh, okay, well, that's unusual for him. He's done some great things, but his standup, I mean he just him, I just find him very annoying. He did a good job, he did a good job.

Speaker 4:

He did a good job, he did a good job.

Costello:

He did a good job. He did a good job. He did a good job. He did a good job. He did a good job. I mean, he's done him very annoying, he did a good job, you know.

Chris Bailey:

so I never really seen a whole standup show by him. Well, that's he bits and pieces of stuff in the past, but it's really good.

Costello:

Did you know it was Benny Hill's 100th birthday today? Just happened to live Talking of English comedians. You've heard of Benny Hill right.

Chris Bailey:

We, all of us Americans, we all know who Benny.

Costello:

Hill. Well, he would have been a hundred had he, had he not died, maybe a hundred.

Chris Bailey:

Before there was, before there was streaming, before there was cable. You turn on your local TV station late at night on a Friday or Saturday. All of a sudden there's this guy coming on as the Benny Hill show. It's awful.

Costello:

Yeah.

Speaker 4:

Yeah.

Costello:

I remember those shows that were like and everything was. You know, when we had college TV, everything was in pastel shades, which made no sense at all.

Chris Bailey:

You go college. Had these women on in these little short outfits, oh, yeah, cleavage and stuff.

Costello:

Yeah, and they're little Daisy Dukes and chasing them around. Oh yeah, yeah, and the funny thing is he was gay, but yeah.

Chris Bailey:

And if he wasn't, you would know that those gorgeous women would be really hot for a guy who looks like Benny Hill. Well, there you go, come on but promise me, yeah, outside of football, outside of catching up in your Academy Award movies, okay, you have to watch the Richard Duvay's comedy standout special on Netflix. All right, I'll do that. I'll do that Because I mean, it was, it was, it was done in London and 100% English crowd. They're laughing their asses off. Okay, because it was funny, good.

Costello:

Well, I'm glad that he's happy. You know, happy and funny brother, I'm glad he's funny.

Chris Bailey:

Was was Ricky in the English version of the show the offices that were. He wrote it.

Costello:

That's, that's the show.

Chris Bailey:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Chris Bailey:

I mean, I mean, he's a brilliant writer and he took a. He took a good amount of time to write this special and flows. That makes sense. He'll tell one story and then come back and clip it on again 15, 20 minutes later and and hit you on the back end and just go, got you. I mean it's just really, really well done. There's three out there. There's Rick eat your bass, right. There's Dave Chappelle is the Dreamer where he goes. I'm not going to make fun of transfer people anymore, which he did this opening joke. He says this year. I'm going to make fun of handicap and and it's just like he does stuff that people don't do anymore because of the cancel culture and stuff like that. You can't help but laugh at it. It's just pretty cool.

Costello:

No, I mean with canceled culture. I don't know about you, but I even find myself stopping myself from saying certain things.

Chris Bailey:

I'll be neat too, but I don't.

Costello:

Oh, no, no.

Chris Bailey:

You know, if I go to meet, if I go to meet Joy, the ex-basement dweller oh yeah, he likes to meet once around. This is called the New York Deli, the New York Deli restaurant, yes, and of course, obviously it's like it's 100% Jewish in there, so he gets there first. I'm looking, I'm waving across the restaurant, I go Oi, over here. Oi, oh, you stopped that. Of course everybody's looking at me like who is that prick?

Costello:

Well, they're right about that, yeah. So, that's sometime goi yeah.

Chris Bailey:

But the third comedy special you got to watch this weekend and this is good for our English and European audience. If you want to know what the American Redneck is like, there's a comedian. His name is Dusty Slay. Okay, he's from Alabama.

Chris Bailey:

Oh boy, okay, he comes out to get long hair, he's wearing a trucker hat and those old time you know big, big rim glasses and stuff you know Uh-huh. The thing about him is is that you'll notice right off the gig after about 10 minutes you're going. Man, this guy is clean no air bombs, no cussing, none of that. He's totally clean. And but he's doing southern. He's just frigging hilarious. Okay, when you live down there now, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta watch this thing.

Costello:

I'll have to check that out. Most definitely that's a good one.

Chris Bailey:

Yeah, he's new. Unless you're like really southern, you're not going to know who he is per se. Plays a pack f'ing asses off and I'm going. This guy is funny, you know so, and he's clean. He just like you have to hear about it. He just no, didn't do it, didn't bother with it, Didn't need it. His material this doesn't even didn't even require it. It's fine, but he will have been. He was a drug addict. He gets good drug addict jokes, do things on drug jokes and stuff like that.

Costello:

You know what I was just um flogging through here about drugs and Richard Simmons no-transcript.

Chris Bailey:

Of course. I mean he's on my show about four times. I thought it was great.

Costello:

Now you get him on the show, damn it. That wouldn't be a bad idea, no, would it? I didn't do anybody's show anymore.

Chris Bailey:

He's just like you know. That's it, I'm done Well anyway he's.

Costello:

he's mad at Paulie Shull, but it wouldn't be because Paulie Shore is just like I never liked all these.

Chris Bailey:

Paulie's happy he's got a career again after all this.

Costello:

Paulie's up. He's a career.

Chris Bailey:

But he's playing measured semens and a couple of things.

Costello:

But you know that's right and he looks, he looks just like him? Does he really? I haven't seen it.

Chris Bailey:

Oh, they could be brothers. I mean, he's a dead ringer for me. He's nailed it. This is like he's Paulie's going, I'm back, I'm relevant again. It says that my speaking guts. He just, you know, Richard didn't approve any of that stuff. But well, that's a good job.

Costello:

Exactly, the quote is you may have heard that they may be doing a movie about me with Paulie Shore. I have never given my permission for this movie, so don't believe everything you read. Oh sorry, paulie, that was a very quick career.

Chris Bailey:

Well, it doesn't mean people aren't going to see it because he hasn't really made it. It won't even get made and they're not going to make Richard look bad in the movie at all. They're going to. They're going to do him. You know they can do him poetic justice. People love him. He had a big following. All the reason.

Costello:

He did. He was huge in the 80s, or was it the 70s, 70s or?

Chris Bailey:

80s. No, keep going, man. 70s, 80s, 90s, 90s the early 2000s. Yeah, okay, he, he actually he's on my show. He freaked me out. He came to the other side of the board and he picked me up. I'm going this sucker is strong. I make it feel as grip. Really, he's just carried me. Yeah, he's just carried me. I'm going, dude, put me down.

Chris Bailey:

Well, he wanted to talk to me because of Mike itself. Yeah, because he he had a couple of hair transplants. Ok, oh yeah, and, and I have one, so he he noticed mine, I noticed it, so he goes for Jefferson Longo. Was you know like?

Chris Bailey:

I need to fill it and he was just. But we went out to do appearances. He treated everybody great. He would talk to everyone, he was linger, he would stay. He was not. He didn't blow anybody off, he was just. He was just. I mean, he worked it and I never seen so much like so much energy. He kept picking me up. I'm going, would you freaking put me to stop doing that? He's like stop it. Like she was trying to pick me up and my crotch is in your face and freaking me out. All right, now put me down. Are you at your intention? Get started? Yeah, but you know he started having a lot of health issues because I mean, he was always exercise, work, work, work, busy, busy and his body just started falling apart and basically he went. I don't want people to see me the way I am now. They don't remember me the way that I was and that's why he you don't see him.

Chris Bailey:

He's obviously getting up there he can't do everything he used to do mid, mid to upper 70s. Hip problem, back problems surprising.

Costello:

Ordeal yeah, See war himself out, didn't he?

Chris Bailey:

Well, of course, yeah, so he deserves it. Leave him alone. He's fine. He's good. He paid his dues, made his money. I'm going to chill and be a recluse and be happy. He's happy. You know what I'm?

Costello:

just happy he's not picking me up anymore. I think it's kind of interesting. We end up talking about Richard Simmons, because we can't talk about politics which we don't want to.

Chris Bailey:

Well, I had to bring this up, All right go ahead.

Chris Bailey:

It's a little bit, just a little bit. Over three years ago, okay, like three years and two months ago, when the is, when the orange guy lost his bid for reelection and of course he refused to leave the office, I always told my wife. I said he can leave and they have to drag him out of there, and then the interaction started. All that stuff happened, yeah, but you know, it's just like. It was like a big collective sigh of relief. Everyone was so happy that he lost. The turnout for voters was just so huge, you know, 81 million people said no, you know, but he's, he pulled in still about 72, 73 million. I just told you how different things are. People are just like. You know. It's just, we're just so different and polarized. Yes, it was this collective sigh of relief that he's not going to be around anymore, but it was four years in your face every day, meanness, name call and stress, just you know we're going to have the same damn thing for the next couple of months, aren't we?

Speaker 4:

I had a friend named scramble and dawn. He tried to pull off an electoral con. He thought he was the smartest guy around. He was a megalomaniac the guy that died by a guy named Jack. They've got him under federal lockdown. He's in the jailhouse now. He's in the jailhouse now. Well, I told him have some sense, you can't send them out to hang my pants. He's in the jailhouse now.

Speaker 3:

Oh, my God.

Chris Bailey:

Yeah, I was in England after I got elected. You guys said that Trump baby balloon with the tweet in one hand baby ball. It was a trick and hilarious balloon. Your whole country, everyone in England, in Scotland, everybody hates his guts too. And then we're going. What's different this time? Actually, I'll tell you what. In my big Biden fan no, but has he done a lot of good things? Yes, is he too old to run again? I think so too, but when it comes down to it in November, those are only our two choices If he's going to show up again to make sure he doesn't win, or is it going to be different?

Costello:

The thing of it is is that he has said nothing about what he'll do other than pick on people and get revenge If he gets to be president again.

Chris Bailey:

Basically, he has no plan.

Costello:

It's like you know, empty vessels make the most noise. That couldn't be more true with him. He has no plan, he has no agenda and he's a dick.

Chris Bailey:

And why would we put that guy? Let's look at things. Okay, gas prices are in the $2 range in most states of the country. Okay, yeah, in places going down, unemployment's really low, job hiring's are way up. It's just like. It's just like good things, you know. And what the hell.

Costello:

Things like infrastructure. You know there's something to work on that and fix things. That's great. Not only that, but the rest of the world actually has some respect for us, unless we. I mean, can you imagine?

Chris Bailey:

Yeah, we're getting along good with our allies. Again, we have allies again.

Speaker 4:

We didn't have them before?

Chris Bailey:

Yeah we have for a while we do. Kim Jong-un and Vladimir Putin. Those were allies when we had the idiot in, and yet is there problems at the border? Yes, immigration issue big out of control? Yes, yes, but being better when he's in? No, he didn't Like a butt rash. That just won't go away. Here's Chris and Costello.

Costello:

I was going to say you know, I bought those nurses a Christmas gift and you know, I mentioned you were going to.

Chris Bailey:

What is your idea?

Costello:

I got them a foot seachu, really close foot massager. It was a good one, really nice one, and you got each one of them a foot massage, no just. I got one, you know. I mean, you know it's going to put it in the break room for them, and that's. That was the idea.

Chris Bailey:

So I'm guessing they're supposed to share and put each other's stinky feet in there. What's wrong with you? I guess Were you pumping on or something.

Costello:

Yeah, we keep your socks on, no biggie, anyway. So I thought well, that'd be nice. I'll bet you anything, I'll bet you a dollar that if I went there and looked in the break room, that thing is probably sitting there gathering dust and not even being opened. Did you go give it to them in person. Yeah, I did. I went to give it to them in person. Couldn't find the particular nurses. I said you know you can all use this. It was my idea. My thinking is not what was their reaction when they?

Chris Bailey:

look at it. They were very happy with it.

Costello:

It's all that's so nice? Oh, wow, because it did a lot of things, and I mean it was at, you know, top of the line, don't mess around, you know. And so I put my phone on.

Chris Bailey:

I think if you walked in there, one of the nurses was sitting on it.

Costello:

Well, that would be fine, With a grin on her face.

Chris Bailey:

Yeah, that would be good, I've been saying it Exactly the feet on the foot it would be the big black nurse who terrorized me. She wasn't even a foot massager. I'm sitting here, I can't see a thing. It's gone. It's gone.

Costello:

It's been enveloped, I can pick it up with my butch, she goes oops, oh dear, yeah, that lady.

Chris Bailey:

I was good at Vigastela. Very English up, very English, I thought.

Costello:

Gently of you. But I did think, you know, I did think you know would have been nice to get a very, even a very generic thank you. Would have been nice. But there you go. Guess that's just me.

Chris Bailey:

So I'll go there and take it back. She's all in the face. I said thank you. Right, didn't they say thank you when you gave it to them?

Costello:

No, because the people I wanted to give it to weren't there, so I had to leave it with a receptionist.

Chris Bailey:

Oh, so they're the ones who saw it, and the nurses, exactly.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Chris Bailey:

So you got no call, no email, no text, no card, nothing, no, nothing.

Costello:

Nothing, honey, nope. Oh, talking of getting things, my daughter, very sweetly, allison, sent me a treadmill, so now I'll be able to Trying to kill you. Oh, I can get myself back in shape. I mean, you know, I can only walk so far around here anyway, because all bloody hills I just don't like.

Chris Bailey:

You said it on marathons. So when you stand there, you're going 100 miles in there. Okay, just shoot me through the wall. There goes dad, and we'll put in Mexicanade melody. And then there's the, there's Costco.

Speaker 4:

Oh, dear, oh dear, yeah, so that's great.

Costello:

Recent headstone I was supposed to be doing this rehab thing, which never materialized. So at least I can do that while I try and figure out the rest of this silliness. But that would be good. I'll be able to, you know, hopefully get up to like three miles a day again, like I used to.

Chris Bailey:

I'm going to get on my I do a comma. I'm going to get on my rowing machine and my electrical machine tonight. Now that rowing, then I get up on my electrical and finish up with it.

Costello:

The elliptical is good. I have one of those many years ago. You know, you know what I found. It was very, very useful as a coat hanger, but anyway this would you do that. No, I hang on my clothes on it because it didn't use it. Bloody huge thing too. So there you go. I'm going to put that in my living room and I'm going to be walking and watching the process that's really get your foot massage, your back. Yeah, exactly, damn it.

Chris Bailey:

They don't appreciate it. Go bring it home and stick it in your closet.

Costello:

No, I mean, I could be completely wrong, but but you know, I just I just wonder if it's kind of like floating around in the bar or somewhere you know it's like, well, I'm probably that's just down right rude Day around it's rude son. It's rude boy, I know I think so. Anyway, never mind Well.

Chris Bailey:

I don't appreciate. You go up there and you take it and grab it and you take it home. I'll tell you what. Get off of it and go pull that out and get that back to me, yeah.

Costello:

The other thing I was going to mention. I thought we should nominate ourselves for a couple of these award shows that are coming up, until I noticed to nominate them in one category and none of them none of them meet us in one category is over $525 and you may or may not win. You don't get anything. Well, I guess you get a letter saying you've been nominated. Yeah, we nominated ourselves.

Chris Bailey:

What do you think Better shot? I just know I think we have a better shot at hosting one of these award shows because they're having trouble finding hosts, not well, okay, who do we call? You saw the guy did Golden Globes, right, big bomb. Yeah, oh dear. Yes, that was bad. I've never seen you stand up before, so that there's a bad way for me to see him for the first time. Probably how most people saw him for the first time was on that show Nearly everybody saw him for the first time.

Costello:

I've never heard of him, never heard of him. I've never heard of him. I've never heard of him. I've never heard of him. I've never heard of him. I've never heard of him.

Chris Bailey:

That's a cold room man. He played here to Golden Globes. I mean, all those actors, actresses, directors, pretty. They just like didn't accept him at all because I don't think they knew who he was.

Costello:

Yeah Well, he seemed a bit size-sore, I thought he was doing okay, but yeah, he didn't feel the love, didn't feel it.

Chris Bailey:

He wasn't Jimmy Kimmel, no no, no Exactly, or Billy Crystal or Not to have Billy Crystal back, but instead they got Jimmy Kimmel, so they're happy with that. Yeah, they like him.

Costello:

They like him.

Chris Bailey:

But Joe Coy, no, don't want him, don't know him. Well, I think he's from Denver, you know.

Costello:

Is he? Yep? Well, you know what? He's getting it from all the producers right now. Yes, he is right, ow, get it. I'm gonna take your drops away from you, man Swing a ladder.

Chris Bailey:

Take that bad joke and scream with it.

Speaker 3:

I had it. They take it, ow Get it.

Costello:

That's all for this week, folks. Here's the last word from Billy.

Chris Bailey:

Let's follow with you.

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