2-14 Ghost Writers

In which Jonas self reflects and Bethany self destructs but neither of them hold a candle to Jesse.  

inc: The Podcast is:

Elle Lu Thompson as Button    

Stevie Faye as Over-Director Boris  

Allyson Levine as Bethany    

Chase Guthrie Knueven as Jesse  

Raimy O. Washington as Jonas  

 Kristen Hasty as Patricia  

Joe Hanson as Desiree   

inc: The Podcast is written, produced, and edited, by Monte D. Monteleagre and Alexander Wolfe, and is a production of Wolf Mountain Workshop.

Want to talk about what you heard? Join our Wolf Mountain Workshop Discord: The Caves of Wolf Mountain. You can find that here: discord.gg/DpmbR9y7az   

Want to support this show and anything else we make? Join our Patreon! You'll get access to bonus content for this show, other shows we produce, and access to exclusive roles in The Caves of Wolf Mountain that will let you ask Monte and Alexander any questions you can think of and submit albums for our twice-monthly album listening parties. You can find that here: patreon.com/WolfMountainWorkshop   

Want to know more about us and find other ways to support the show? Visit our website which has links to our social media, our merch, our patreon, our discord and probably some more stuff too. You can find that here: wolfmountainworkshop.org  

Emotional support for inc: The Podcast is lovingly provided by: Birdie, Rodeo, Jewel, Sakura, Gracie, Luna, Hazel, Kyo, Hamilton, Beau and The Slug.  

New episodes every other Monday.   

Ask yourself: how can M-E, work for me?   

———  

Transcript

Ghost Writers
inc: The Podcast episode 2-14
by
Monte D. Monteleagre And Alexander Wolfe
CHARACTER NAME
Button
Over-Director
Bethany
Jesse
Jonas
Patricia
Desiree
Heavy drum.
BUTTON
Hello Best Friend Bethany! Welcome back from the second task. I hope is was part of a
fulfilling journey towards your truest and best self.
Speaking of your truest and best self, before our next session of all-day electroshock
therapy, a very special someone who’s in charge of both of us asked me to pass along this
note to you.
OVER-DIRECTOR
(Pre-recorded.)
Dear Bethany,
It appears the death of Tomas has pushed Jesse over the edge and they did not attend
their required post task meeting with Sub-Director Jamison and instead have holed up in
their quarters with a gun and started burning Mental Ennervation Colonies property. It is
unfortunate, but this is a ripe situation for another little accident.
Jonas did do a such a good job in this second task, don’t you agree? Let’s work together
to make sure that winning streak can continue.
Ta-ta for now. Bethany. Make us proud.
BUTTON
I don’t know what all that means, but I say we go help our friend with their accident that
hasn’t happened yet. What do you say, Best Friend?
The music gets louder, then suddenly stops as we hear
fast paced running down a hallway.
An electric shock sound.
BETHANY
Ow! What was that for?
BUTTON
Rushing into a situation with an armed individual with nothing but a pen to defend
yourself with is akin to a suicidal act.
2.
BETHANY
Well will you tell me where the guns are?
BUTTON
Unfortunately, you don’t have the administrative authority to access that information.
BETHANY
Great, so I have a pen and here we are at a crazed gun-person’s quarters. Here we go.
A door slides open.
BETHANY
(Adrenaline.)
Jesse, don’t try to run. I have a pen and I’m a little afraid to use it.
BUTTON
There’s going to be an accident today and we’re here to help. Despite how much the pen
and tentacle wrapped around it are violently shaking from story juice withdrawl.
A moment. A small poof of fire.
JESSE
Oh, hi Bethany. Hello Bethany’s therapy button.
Another small poof of fire.
BETHANY
(Taken aback)
Jesse, why is there a knife in the side of your head?
JESSE
Well, I tried to kill myself, but I just don’t think I’m allowed to die yet. Why isn’t there a
knife in the side of your head?
BETHANY
Because I... didn’t do that?
JESSE
Get with the times. It’s the latest trend. Everybody is doing it.
2.
3.
BETHANY
I’m pretty sure that isn’t true.
BUTTON
Best Friend, if I had to guess, I think the accident is going to be caused by our friend Jesse
repeatedly dunking ME Colonies property into a mug of Black Goo and letting it catch
on fire. Or maybe it has something to do with the gun on the table. Or maybe both.
Small poof of fire.
JESSE
You’re here to kill me . You better be, I can’t die until you kill me.
(More fire.)
Plus, if you don’t kill me soon, I’m going to destroy so much, what did you say Button?
ME Colonies property? If that helps move this scene along.
BETHANY
Why aren’t you running?
JESSE
(Ignoring Bethany.)
Tomas says you’re here to kill me.
Music. Recording noise.
JONAS
Dearest Diary that I bought today which I will definitely be recording my thoughts and
feels in and not just adding to my collection of mostly empty recording diaries on my
shelf, I just listened to my own eulogy broadcast again.
(Beat.)
Alone. For, like, the third time.
(Beat,)
I have a lot of feelings about that, which is what I bought this diary for, but now that I’m
actually sitting down to record... I don’t know how to describe them. It’s like there’s a
hole in me that’s been there for a long time and I just didn’t notice it till now.
Music. Back in Jesse’s quarters. Small poof of fire.
3.
4.
JESSE
So how were you planning on doing it? With the pen? Is it because the pen is mightier
than the sword? I thought we both slept through that lecture.
BETHANY
(Caught off guard.)
Did you say Tomas told you I was here to kill you?
JESSE
That’s what I said, yes.
BETHANY
But Tomas is dead.
JESSE
Yes.
BETHANY
Tomas couldn’t have told youJESSE
Tomas wants me to tell you that there’s not an airlock nearby, so you’ll have to do it
differently this time.
BETHANY
What?
JESSE
That’s how you killed Desiree, right? With an airlock.
(A beat. Small poof of fire.)
Desiree told Tomas and Tomas told me.
(A beat.)
Tomas wants me to point your attention to the Very Real Gun. They say I have to say it
like that. Very Real Gun. Do those words mean something to you?
(A beat.)
Come sit down, Bethany. Have some Black Goo. Burn some ME Colonies property.
4.
5.
Watch the knife wound in my skull bleed but never kill me. Count the brain bits. It’s a
good time.
BUTTON
(Not quite as sure as they were earlier.)
I think we should sit down, Best Friend.
BETHANY
(Sitting down.)
Jesse, Tomas is dead.
JESSE
Yes, I watched a transparent wall crush them. It was brutal and when I close my eyes I
still see it.
BETHANY
Tomas isn’t talking to you.
JESSE
Tomas told me where the gun would be. They’re making a lot of friends in Nebraska.
Important ones who said that they would make sure the gun was right where it was
supposed to be. And now it is.
(A beat.)
We used to say 4eva 4 life. We were wrong about the last part. Just 4eva.
BETHANY
Ghosts aren’t real, Tomas.
JESSE
Then why do you have so many following you?
Music. Recording noise.
JONAS
I thought about asking Bethany to listen to my eulogy broadcast with me, but they’re on
one of their therapy walks right now. They’re making a real effort to get sober even
though it seems really hard. I haven’t really been talking to them because I think they
might have killed Desiree but the last time I kept a diary for more than a few entries I got
data-sick and thought they killed Patricia... which I guess is kind of true now...
5.
6.
It’s been all confrontations between me and Bethany lately, and I’m worried if I talk to
them too much I’m just going to blurt out an accusation and if I’m wrong, and I hope I’m
wrong, I hope I’m just sick again and I can go to medical and get this all sorted out, but if
I’m wrong how do we come back from that? We’ve been through so much, too much
probably, and I don’t want to be the thing that finally breaks this friendship in two.
I’ve been so mean to them lately because I’m stressed because I’m worried that they’re
going to get us both killed in this stupid story contest thing and- andAnd Tomas died today.
Music.
Back to Jesse’s quarters. More fire.
JESSE
Tomas says it’s okay if you take your time. 4eva is a long time and it’s okay to wait.
There are a few more things that have to happen first.
PATRICIA
(Ghost-y.)
That gun, so familiar, where have I seen one just like it before?
BUTTON
(Maybe scared.)
We should accept that cup of Black Goo, Bethany, it’s only polite.
BETHANY
I don’t understand.
JESSE
This would all make a good story, wouldn’t it?
BETHANY
What?
JESSE
All of this.
6.
7.
BETHANY
No, Jesse, I’m here to kill you. There’s a gun in front of me. Beg, fight back, try to run,
do something. I don’t want to...
A moment. Another small fire.
JESSE
Would that make it easier?
(A beat.)
Tomas says it’s not time yet anyways.
BETHANY
Jesse, you don’t understand. I have to do this.
JESSE
I know.
BETHANY
If I don’t... I have to. For Jonas.
JESSE
I know. If I was in your boots I would do this for Tomas.
BETHANY
Aren’t you scared?
JESSE
Of you? Of your pen? You haven’t even clicked out the little sharp bit.
BETHANY
Of dying?
JESSE
Oh.
(A moment.)
Yes, I am. But not in any of the ways I thought I would be. Like right before going on
stage for a play.
7.
8.
(Another moment.)
Isn’t that funny? I’ve never gone on stage for a play, but I know the feeling.
BETHANY
Why don’t you go for the gun?
JESSE
Why would I?
BETHANY
To defend yourself.
JESSE
From you? From your un-clicked pen?
BETHANY
Yes.
JESSE
But Bethany, you haven’t gone for the gun either.
BETHANY
But I will.
JESSE
I know.
(A moment. A fire.)
You want me to go for the gun so you can kill me in self defense.
BETHANY
Yes.
JESSE
But you’re not here to kill me in self-defense. You’re here to murder me to protect Jonas.
PATRICIA
(Ghost-y)
Oh poor Bethany, doesn’t get to kill someone in cold blood in just the right way.
Whatever will they do?
8.
9.
BETHANY
But you could kill me too. You could try.
PATRICIA
(Teasing.)
It’s okay, Bethany. We’re all waiting for you to be ready. It’s not like this is new to you.
BETHANY
Shut up, Patricia. You’re making this headache so much worse.
BUTTON
Bethany, our host’s name is Jesse.
JESSE
But ghosts aren’t real, right?
BETHANY
They’re not.
JESSE
(A beat.)
Tomas thinks that’s very funny.
(Another small flame.)
They say the gun is here because it’s quicker than the pen.
Music. Recording sound.
JONAS
Any of us could die here at any moment. Desiree died, and maybe it was Bethany and
hopefully it was just an accident, then Tomas died, and I don’t think Bethany could have
done that even though I wasn’t allowed to acknowledge them during the second task, so
that’s a relief... but I saw how Desiree’s death affected Nancy and Tomas and Jesse were
even closer than that...
I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to Bethany.
I don’t think I’m any better than my caregivers.
9.
10.
As soon as things got hard I decided to be all, “tough love without the love,” just like
them and now they think I’m dead and I’ve barely been talking to my best friend for the
last, like, billion daysWhat am I turning into? This whole M-E thing wasn’t even my idea. Now I’m someone
who listens to my own Eulogy Broadcast and I don’t even invite my friends to listen
with me.
(A beat.)
I miss the people I wish my family were, but those people never existed and never will.
Bethany is here. Nancy is here. Jesse is here. Maybe I can be here for these people in all
the ways my family was never there for me. I’m going to go pick up something nice from
the coffee shop and bring it to Jesse and try to be the change I want to see in this place,
even if it might end with even more of us dead.
(A beat.)
Goodbye Diary, I promise I will write a second entry and this won’t be like the last
fifteen diaries I’ve bought and used once. Bye, for now, not forever, love Jonas.
Okay now how do I stop recordingMusic.
Jesse’s quarters.
BETHANY
You know, if you want to be with them so bad, why don’t you just shoot yourself?
(Shocking sound.)
It’s not my suicidal ideation, it’s Jesse’s!
JESSE
Oh, I can only die if you kill me at just the right moment. Otherwise, it’s not as good of a
story.
BETHANY
Why do you keep saying that?
10.
11.
PATRICIA
(Ghost-y)
I think it’s almost time to pick up the gun.
BETHANY
Shut up, Patricia.
JESSE
This would make a good story if it isn’t about me or Tomas or Desiree or Nancy, so it
must not be about me or Tomas or Desiree or Nancy. It must be about you and Jonas.
And Jonas isn’t here yet.
So it must be about you.
And if it’s about you, then the best thing to happen would be if you picked up the gun
and shot me. And so that’s what’s going to happen.
But not yet. Tomas says it’s not time yet.
While we’re waiting, would you like a cup of black goo?
BETHANY
Jesse, I think you’ve gone story psycho.
JESSE
Would that make it easier? To kill me?
BUTTON
(Actively trying to de-escalate.)
I think we should accept a cup of black goo from our host.
DESIREE
(Ghost-y)
I agree with your little therapy button, for what it’s worth.
BETHANY
Desiree?
11.
12.
DESIREE
(Ghost-y)
We’re all here, Bethany. For when the party starts.
JESSE
And the party’s going to start soon, but not yet.
PATRICIA
(Ghost-y)
Because you’re not ready yet.
JESSE
Tomas is here too.
PATRICIA
(Ghost-y)
But you didn’t kill Tomas.
JESSE
So Tomas doesn’t have anything to say to you.
BETHANY
(Classic justification.)
This is a dream.
JESSE
If this is a dream, you might as well pick up this very real gun and shoot me.
BETHANY
Fine, you want me to pick up the gun?
(They pick up the gun.)
There. Happy?
JESSE
Well, obviously you’ll have to aim it at me.
BETHANY
There.
12.
13.
JESSE
And put your finger on the trigger.
PATRICIA
(Ghost-y)
Bethany, I know you’ve seen someone use a gun before.
BETHANY
Finger on the trigger. I’m about to throw up because I’m doing this sober. Now what?
JESSE
If you think this is a dream, pull the trigger.
PATRICIA
(Ghost-y)
And if you don’t...
DESIREE
(Ghost-y)
Well, what difference does it make?
PATRICIA
(Ghost-y)
How many people has Bethany killed? Has anyone been keeping track?
DESIREE
(Ghost-y)
You’re a regular serial killer, darling.
PATRICIA
(Ghost-y)
What’s going to make this one special, I wonder?
BUTTON
(Now sentient and genuinely afraid.)
Bethany, Best Friend, what’s going on here?
13.
14.
PATRICIA
(Ghost-y)
Maybe we should invite a guest.
DESIREE
(Ghost-y)
A guest of honor, perhaps?
PATRICIA
(Ghost-y)
They’re on their way now.
DESIREE
(Ghost-y)
Well we can’t start without them.
BUTTON
Bethany, let’s put down the gun. Let’s go home. It’s not too late.
JESSE
That’s the thing about stories, it’s too late by the time they start.
PATRICIA
(Ghost-y)
Wait for it.
JESSE
I was always just comic relief.
PATRICIA
(Ghost-y)
Wait for it.
JESSE
A best friend.
14.
15.
PATRICIA
(Ghost-y)
Wait for it.
JESSE
4eva.
PATRICIA
(Ghost-y)
And...
A door slides open.
JONAS
Hey, Jesse, I heard what happened and wanted to check in onBang.
Thump.
Quiet.
JONAS
You.
JESSE
(Ghost-y)
It makes a good story, doesn’t it?
JONAS
(True fear.)
Bethany?
BETHANY
Jonas?
Jonas runs.
15.
16.
BETHANY
Jonas, wait!
END