Bloom Your Mind

Ep 153: Problem Solving

• Marie McDonald

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This week, we’re getting practical.

In Episode 153: Problem Solving, I walk you through a real-life example of using multiple tools I’ve taught before on the podcast—and show you exactly how to apply them when life throws you a curveball.

Here’s the setup: I’m hosting a three-day Lovefest in the desert for 80 people—an outdoor celebration that’s been months in the making. And three days before it begins, the forecast calls for…rain. Buckets of it. No indoor venues, no easy backup plan, and a lot of people flying in from all over the world. Meanwhile, I’m still working full time, parenting, and running life as usual.

In this episode, I show you exactly what I did when my brain wanted to spiral into overwhelm—and how I used my problem-solving toolkit to navigate the chaos calmly, strategically, and creatively.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

  • Why the first tool we reach for isn’t always the right one for the job.
  • How to know which kind of problem-solving approach to use—depending on whether you’re in the emotional, strategic, or tactical phase of processing.
  • Three categories of tools you can choose from:
    1. Mindset reset – shifting your thinking when your brain goes negative.
    2. Obstacle prediction & strategy – anticipating challenges and creating grounded plans.
    3. Emotional processing & curiosity – handling your inner experience before taking external action.
  • The critical reminder that we never use tools and teachings against ourselves—no self-blame, no “shoulds.”
  • Why making requests of others is often the final step, not the first one—after we’ve done our own emotional and cognitive work.
  • How to reflect after the storm passes—so every challenge becomes a blueprint for your next success.

By the end of this episode, you’ll see how these tools come together in real time—and you’ll leave with a clear map for how to move from overwhelm to empowered action, no matter what kind of problem life serves up.

How to connect with Marie:

JOIN THE BLOOM ROOM!
We'll take all these ideas and apply them to our lives. Follow me on Instagram at @the.bloom.coach to learn more and snag a spot in my group coaching program!

SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to the Bloom Your Mind Podcast, where we take all of your ideas for what you want and we turn them into real things. I'm your host, certified coach Marie McDonald. Let's get into it. Well, hello everyone, and welcome to episode number 153 of the Bloom Your Mind Podcast. Today we are taking an example that's an actual application of multiple of the tools that I've taught on this podcast to share an example of triaging a problem. I'm going to use a problem from my own life that popped up this last week. And this actually came from the Bloom Room discussion where I was coaching the group that is in the Bloom Room. And one of them asked, you know, we were kind of all sharing wins and celebrations. And someone asked me, what happens when your brain wants to sort of go doomsday about something where a problem comes up and your brain is just like wanting to freak out and take it to the worst possible case scenario. And I had an example that was kind of like that this week. And so I wanted to use that as an example to teach sort of an application of a lot of the tools that I teach in problem solving, in obstacle anticipation and strategy generation, and in uh sort of mental management and emotional processing around big problems, around big challenges that pop up. So that is what we are up to today. And I will get right into it. So I'm going to give you a little context for what this example is based in. And I've talked about in the last couple of podcasts, just briefly telling you that my husband and I are celebrating our 10-year anniversary by renewing our vows. We've been together for 15 years. We kind of had an alternative path to our story where we got together and had a two-year long-distance relationship that we loved that part of it. And then we came together and decided we wanted a child first. We didn't want to get married yet. Or if we ever got married, we we weren't sure what we were going to do. We just knew we wanted a kid. So we did that. Then a few years in, our daughter was three years old and we got married. So we've been together for 15 years and we've been married for 10, and we really uh wanted to make new promises to each other, to not get complacent in the institution of marriage and take each other for granted in any way, and to kind of double down on choosing each other and committing who we want to be to one another, and to celebrate love and celebrate that recommitment and really owning and being in integrity with one another, taking that responsibility really seriously of loving a person and being their person, being the one that gets to see them and all their ups and downs, and the one that gets to celebrate them, and the one that's that's there for them to celebrate how we can do that really intentionally and to come together in community to celebrate love. So we have this big event, and it has turned into quite a big event. It is three days long in the desert. The first night we rented a beautiful venue that is open to the stars. And this is all leading somewhere. So listen carefully. This venue is open to the stars, no roof, full of candles and audio equipment. And it was like one of the things I was looking forward to the most. One of my favorite things in life is to see people that I know and love play live music. I love it. Live music's like my favorite thing ever, and especially when I know the person. So, you know, I married a musician. And we have tons of musicians in our life. And so we rented this beautiful place called the bathhouse in this place called Hokoomba, which is an incredible resort that uh is built around a naturally occurring mineral hot springs. So we rented this open-air place for Friday night. Saturday night, we uh have a friend who owns a retreat center nearby, and we're doing our whole vow renewal ceremony outside in a circle of boulders, just like where my parents got married. And we then have a whole evening of fire pits and karaoke and DJs and toasts. And it's all outdoors. So we made, I spent hours and hours and had friends come help, and we made giant paper flowers that are gonna be a ceiling above the tables that were hanging from the rafters, and then all these paper flower arrangements, and everything is outdoors. Rugs and seating lounge areas outdoors under big oak trees. And it was all so great. All of this is so great. We have all of this planning, people coming, someone's coming from Germany, people are coming from Hawaii, Tennessee, people flying in, they just want to hang, and then a bunch of people from closer by from Santa Monica and San Diego and Orange County and stuff. So we're working through all of the details that are a part of this kind of event for our closest friends and our family to come and be with us. And it ended up there's a lot of people that said yes. So we were at an RSVP count of about 80. And then all of a sudden, something that never happens in San Diego happened, and the forecast changed and rain was coming. Every day the forecast changed as it does, right? And every day it got worse. So that eventually, two nights ago, the forecast said it is gonna pour rain both Friday and Saturday night. Poor rain. So when I really found this out, I was right in the middle of so many things that I was doing. So I was gluing paper flowers, I was, you know, finalizing outfits, all these things, all these things, helping people with arrangements, helping people with rooms they were staying in, all this stuff. And I also had not been sleeping very well for a few different reasons. So I was just not on a whole lot of sleep, like five hours, and I am like an eight or nine hour person uh the night before. So I was not on a lot of sleep. I was kind of fighting off a sore throat, you know, all different things happening. Full work days, and I find out about this rain, you know, four days, three days before the event. And so my mind is like overwhelmed. The first feeling that I had was just daunted because people are flying in from everywhere. And first of all, Friday nights out because it's gonna be pouring rain and there's no ceiling on that place. So I have all these people planning on this, and that's out. But the bigger problem is the 80 people coming Saturday, because that's the day that most that everybody's coming to. 80 people. And the venue that we're at does not have a lot of indoor space. It is not a place where you can easily host 80 people. Plus, the entire event was the entertainment, the activities were based in out in the outdoors, fires, you know, lounges, paper flowers that are all gonna melt. Can we even use any of the decorations now? There's nowhere to like it was just a lot. Everything was gonna need to change, every part of the plan. And it needed to change in like three days that were already fully booked for me with my all my clients and all my work and everything else, board meetings, everything I had to do. So, this is the problem that we're looking at today. And at first, my brain was just daunted. I was just like, uh, no. What am I gonna do? I have people texting me saying, like, the retreat center owner that is my good friend is like, hey, do you have a rain plan? Do you want a brainstorm? You know, I'm talking through it with my husband. We have we're trying to make dinner for the kids, and there's giant paper flowers all over. It just felt like chaos. As sometimes things do, right? And we had a rain plan for Friday night, but it turns out that their secondary venue sprung some leaks. So they no longer had an alternative for us. And uh yeah, it was pretty, pretty tricky situation. So try not to beat myself up for not giving more viability to needing a rain plan based on what everybody that you know who lives out there told me, nah, it's not gonna rain. It's not gonna, we don't even have to worry about that. I should have just thought it through myself, like I usually do for contingency plans. So let that one go, first of all. And then I started utilizing a few of the tools that I teach on this podcast. And here's what I want to walk you through. There's first a tool that I use all the time, where I recognize that our brains are great at creating problems. We create problems out of everything. And nothing is actually a problem without our brain making it a problem. It's either happening and we need to accept it and it's outside of our control, or it's a perspective thing. So, like, for instance, rain, water falling from the sky. It's not a problem unless our brain is like, this is a problem, right? So with many things in life, us being late, uh us getting a change in career, um, us having body changes, us like so many things that we make problems in our head, we can decide they're not a problem. So my first step was is this actually a problem? I could decide. It's just decide that it's not a problem. But when I offered myself that tool, I was like, hell no. That feels like I'm gaslighting myself. And that tool is not helpful to me right now. So I chose to not use it. And that's the first thing. I chose like, nope, this feels like a big problem. I feel overwhelmed. I feel daunted by this. I I my emotions like feel bigger than the question, is this actually a problem? And so I decided not to use that tool. I use that tool all the time in other situations. That one felt gaslighty. So I was like, nope. So the next tool I asked myself was can this obstacle be a strategy? So this is from the practice of stoicism from Marcus Aurelius and Seneca and all these great thinkers where every, you know, and they use these in much more dire situations than rain on a party, right? Uh they use this in military scenarios and all kinds of things, political scenarios. So the question is, and you know, these are all on different podcast episodes, so you can look up the obstacles and strategies episode, or you can read the obstacles the way. But I asked myself, okay, so if every obstacle is a strategy waiting to happen, if the obstacles and challenges that arise in life present opportunities that weren't there before for a new pathway forward, how might that be true of this scenario? And again, my brain said, Nope, I'm not ready for that yet. And that one was a little bit more accessible to me, right? It didn't feel like as gaslighty as a tool for where I was at in that moment, but it still felt out of reach. So I said, okay, both the question of can I make this not a problem is not applicable to me right now. It does not feel in reach for me. And secondly, seeing this obstacle as a new path forward and a way to have a new possibility of an experience that wasn't available before sounds like an exercise, a mental exercise for tomorrow. Not yet. I knew that eventually I was gonna be able to see it that way, but I needed some time. It was not time yet. And so I said, okay, let me ask myself that again tomorrow. Sure, maybe I'll have this experience where I'm like, oh, it's actually more intimate. We're all inside, it's cozy, whatever. I am not there yet. Maybe tomorrow. So I deferred that tool. And I asked myself again, the first tool was a no, second tool was a no. Let me use my fundamental problem-solving tool or way of thinking about this, which is that every problem has two buckets. One is the emotions to process and get curious about, and the second is the actual logistical problem. And that tool felt right on for what I needed in the moment. First, I needed to process the emotions. So I checked them out. I was feeling daunted. I was like, okay, where's that in my body? What does it feel like? I used the practice to just walk towards that because it was a big feeling in the moment. And when I got really curious about it, I noticed it was like this feeling of being daunted was like overwhelm, but like a specific flavor of overwhelm. It was like, wow, like really, really overbearing overwhelm. That was kind of that feeling of daunting. It feeling so daunting. And I, and so I spent some time with it. And as so often happens, I looked underneath it, under the overwhelm. There's usually a different, deeper feeling. And sure enough, under that was feeling alone. That's why this was feeling so daunting. So I got curious about that. And I was present with that feeling of like loneliness, of feeling alone. And I processed that feeling. And what it was all about was I am the big planner in my life. I'm the planner. My husband is the doer. He is so amazing at taking care of things. Like, we'll be talking and I'll be like, there's this and this and this and this that we need to consider. And he just like massively moves whatever it is that we need to work on right then. And what I was feeling was, I'm already planning all of this. I'm already holding all the pieces for all of this in my little work plan for this vow renewal and in my head. But this is my brain is sort of already overflowing with holding all of it. And now this is a whole nother layer. It's like pouring liquid into a cup that's already overflowing for me to have to hold all of the thinking and the strategic planning and the communication and the contingency plans for rain, also. So it was just this feeling of I'm alone holding all of this, like an atlas moment. So first I just was like, oh, that's what this is. And I felt it for a moment. And I just felt present instead of trying to run away from that feeling of it being overwhelming and the feeling of being alone. And then I was like, what do I need? What does this feeling need? What do I need? And what I needed was to take the piece of that that was a request for my husband and say it out loud and say, I can't hold all of this myself. I need us to be thought partners at this point. I need us to plan all this together, make that request of him, and then move on to the second part of the problem solving, which is the logistics. So, what I needed was to not hold it all myself and for my husband and I to sit down together and think through what's our contingency if it does rain? At what point do we make a call? Are we gonna rent a big ass tent? What do we do with all this stuff? What do we do with all these people? At what point do we just call it off? And we just went through these scenarios and partnered together to think it through. And the last thing that I did is I gave myself time. I waited to think that through and talk that through with my husband until I had processed enough where I was feeling like, okay, this feels less overwhelming. I'm good. I have had a few minutes to like come down from my very full workday and childcare day and process this. And now I can feel the emotions and then get into problem solving mode. But I didn't make myself problem solve right away because I needed a minute, y'all, to be in it. A minute to be in it. And then I also told the people who were trying to support, like the retreat center lead, who was like, you know what, you want to hop on the phone and brainstorm together? Let me know. I said, you know what? I'm kind of in the daunted mode right now and I will take you up on that, but not quite yet. So I gave myself the time to be where I was at instead of forcing myself into problem solving or making it better. Now we have come all the way through this and we have all the plans and everything's in a great place. And now I can see how this isn't actually a problem because we've created enough solutions, and also how the obstacle did become the way for the way forward, a new way forward, a new path because of all the things we figured out. I'm actually like, this is great. This is actually a great, we're in a great place. It's not gonna rain on Saturday night, probably. Like it's much less likely. Friday is all rained out and we have a contingency plan, but Saturday is not as daunting because of both all of our planning and mental and emotional management, and also because the weather has lightened a little bit in the forecast. So we'll see. But at the end of the day, I thought this was a really helpful example for how to choose between the tools that feel applicable to you and choose the ones that are right. Because we never use any of these tools or any of this work against us. If something feels gaslighty or out of reach, it's not the right tool for the job. These are all in our tool belt. We choose the right tool for the job. I so often pull out the first two tools I described. Is this actually a problem? How could it not be a problem? I asked myself questions like how could this be happening for me? How could this be perfect for me right now? This is the part when what? When I'm learning what? None of those were right for that moment. I use them all the time, but not right then. Because it just wasn't right. It wasn't time yet. The second tool of obstacles and strategies, I use all the time. And again, I just wasn't there yet. The third tool had a lot of grace. I didn't have to press myself to get into any different space. It was about meeting myself where I was at. So this is an example of multiple tools, a reminder, a refresher on those tools that I've presented before in the podcast, and a practical application of how to pull from your tool belt the right tool for the job, depending on your mind, your body, and your needs. So that's what I've got for you today. I will see you on the other side of this VAWs weekend. I'm sure I will have entertaining stories and who knows what else on the other side of it to share with you. But that's what I've got for you. Enjoy, and I will see you next week. If you like what you're hearing on the podcast, you gotta come and join us in the Bloom Room. This is a year-round membership where we take all of these concepts and we apply them to real life in a community where we have each other's backs and we bring out the best in each other. We're all there to make our ideas real. One idea at a time.