Bloom Your Mind

Ep 155: The Self-Doubt Hack

• Marie McDonald

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Self-doubt is one of the biggest dream-killers on the planet.
Not because it means anything about who we are, but because we believe it does.

In Episode 155: The Self-Doubt Hack, we break down a simple, powerful three-step process to work with self-doubt in a way that stops it from derailing your ideas, your confidence, and your forward momentum. Instead of spiraling or shutting down the moment doubt pops up, you’ll learn how to meet it with clarity, curiosity, and strategy.

This is a practical episode you can return to every time you feel yourself wobble.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

  • Why self-doubt is a completely normal brain response—not a red flag
  • The importance of learning the language your body speaks to give you information 
  • The process of allowing your doubt without fusing with it
  • How to look underneath your doubt to understand what it’s protecting, what it’s afraid of, and whether any action is actually needed
  • How to collect intentional evidence and support building your self doubt tolerance 
  • How evidence interrupts the doubt cycle and builds new, regenerative belief
  • When to do nothing, when to do something, and how to tell the difference
  • Why this process keeps your ideas alive long enough to become real

Self-doubt doesn’t disappear on its own, and it doesn’t need to.
But when you know how to work with it, you stop letting it steer your behavior.
You regain access to your creativity, your courage, and the version of you who takes brave, aligned action.

Try the hack.
 Use it this week.
 And watch what shifts.

Mentioned in this episode:

  • Intentional Evidence Collection (Ep 152)
  • The Practice (Ep ) 
  • The Bloom Room + Moxie Mastermind — for women making their ideas real

How to connect with Marie:

JOIN THE BLOOM ROOM!
We'll take all these ideas and apply them to our lives. Follow me on Instagram at @the.bloom.coach to learn more and snag a spot in my group coaching program!

SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to the Bloom Your Mind Podcast, where we take all of your ideas for what you want and we turn them into real things. I'm your host, certified coach Marie McDonald. Let's get into it. Hello everybody, and welcome to episode number 155 of the Bloom Your Mind podcast. Dang, y'all, there is so much going on in my world right now, and it's so exciting. First of all, I'm looking around me and there are a bunch of holiday-colored flowers around me, little carnations, wild green things popping out from the edges. This is one of my self-care things that I do. I go to Trader Joe's in my neighborhood where they have the cheapest and most like durable flowers. Durable meaning they are long-lasting. They usually last like a week or two, which is so awesome. And they're not expensive. And I buy a few bundles and I arrange them, and it is like my therapy. It is my total happy place. Every single week I have flowers in my house. It's my splurge for myself. And right now they are red and white and green, and it's making me really happy. And they're very wild. So that's going on in my world. What's going on in your world? Are you celebrating the season that you're in in any way? Don't let it pass without checking it out. The other things that are going on is there's this huge influx of new people into the Bloom community. Lots of people on Instagram and in the email list. And people are joining the Moxie Mastermind, which is so exciting. I talked about it last week. Um, but reach out to me because that group is filling up with the most amazing women. And then the Bloom Room is also starting off for 2026 with some new faces and folks in that group. And we're launching January with a whole bunch of brand new recorded content that is better than ever. So I'm going to be announcing the enrollment for that and that new material in the next couple weeks, too, on Instagram, I guess next week. So if you're on Instagram, check that out or reach out to me if you want more information, because there's just so much movement happening in this movement to help people and specifically women to turn their ideas into real things. Well, one thing that we know when we're turning ideas into real things, if the idea is something that we really care about or that's new for us, or that's sort of a growth edge, if it's something that we're putting out there into the world where we're really passionate about it, where it's answering something that we want to change in our lives, in our communities, or in the world, we're gonna have some self-doubt pop up. Let's say you're about to put out an email announcing your new business or inviting people into your community or inviting me people to this big event that you planned and you're like so excited, and then you have this feeling come over you. Maybe it feels a little buzzy or like the jitters, and you're doubting this whole thing. Who do you think you are that you can pull this off? What if people think you're lame? What if it's cringe when people see it? What if you spelled something wrong or like got the date wrong? Is that just me or do other people do that? What if it's just not interesting enough to get their attention? All these thoughts pop up, right? All these thoughts and the self-doubt feeling, it happens to all of us. It is, in fact, a necessary step in our evolution and our progress as individuals, as human beings, in this whole timeline of our life as we grow and change and become more and more of who we want to be. But our system, unfortunately, does not see this as a necessary step. It's not like, okay, self-doubt, perfect, we're on the right path. Instead, our system misreads the situation entirely. If you listen to the last episode, episode 154 on outthinking the motivational triad, you know that self-doubt will come up when we're doing something that matches our vision for who we want to be. When we're doing something that is in line with our values and what we most want to contribute and create in the world, the impact that we most want to have in these precious moments that we have here with our unique face, our unique voice, our one of a kind contribution that we can make to the world. Self-doubt comes up when we're trying something new. So we know it will come up when we're taking action that's in line with what we want. And yet, our system reads it as a big stop sign. Instead of reading it as a yep, we're on the right path. The little jitters are coming up. We're doing something big in line with our goals. Our system reads it as a big red stop sign. Stop light. Do not pass. Our system reads it as a reason to quit, to turn around. It's a big danger ahead. Falling rocks. Stop, drop, and roll. Anybody else know that reference? That's how our system sees the feeling of self-doubt. So today we're talking about what to do to hack that self-doubt experience. How to tell the difference between self-doubt and your gut know. And then I'm going to share the three steps that you can take to work with that self-doubt. Get information from it, honor it, allow the feelings in your body, be okay with self-doubt instead of obeying that old nervous system faulty wire that's telling us to go back home and get in our bed and get under the covers. Right when we're about to get to the good part of putting ourselves out there in a way that we're proud of. Okay, so before we get into these three steps, I just want to ask you the question: what does self-doubt feel like in your body? So I want you to think about a time, maybe in the last month, if you have it, when you had that feeling of self-doubt come up when you were doing something that you were excited about or that was important to you. What did it feel like in your body? And what did you do with it? So I'm gonna say that for me, that self-doubt feeling feels a little bit like a jittery buzz. It feels a little bit like nervousness. Like, what will they think? Will I be able to pull this off? What if I mess up? Is what if this doesn't land with them? That self-doubt feeling is kind of buzzy for me. All right, so I want to ask you, what is it like for you? And then when you have that, you can pause the episode if you want to think about what that is for you. And then when you have that, I want you to think of this next thing. Think of sometime in the past month when you had a gut no feeling, a response to something that was like, absolutely not. This is not okay with me. This is a no. What was that like in your body? What was the circumstance and what was that gut no in your body? And then what did you do with that? So for me, that gut no is really different. It's like a really heavy stone in my belly, and it felt like fear, like deep, heavy fear, like a sliding backward or a sinking feeling. Really different than that jittery buzzy. Ah, are they gonna like this? Am I gonna pull this off? What's gonna happen? Right, so different than the self-doubt. So again, pause if you'd like to. This is super important that you learn the language that your body speaks when it's communicating to you. So I'm sharing the language my body speaks when it's communicating to me about self-doubt. It's like jittery buzzy, right? My brain is like thinking fast. When my body communicates to me, a gut, no, it's a sinking pit of my stomach, like heaviness and it's a fear, it's slow, it's heavy, it's really different. So when we begin to know those, when we articulate them to ourselves, when we speak them out to somebody else, when we write them down, whatever, using any kind of mnemonic device that helps to anchor an experience for you, then our brain will recognize them more easily in the future. We'll be able to tell the difference between that buzzy self-doubt that probably means we're on the right track and we want to push past it, and that heck no, hell no, gut no feeling that's super important for us to understand and honor. All right. So here are some examples from my students when we all talked about this. Something that brought up self-doubt feelings, a few different things, is uh one of my clients was doing book releases, book launches for a few of her books. And she had that self-doubt feeling when she was about to kind of go out to these large audiences and share about her book. The self-doubt feeling felt like kind of when she talked about it, she got a smile on her face. Like it was kind of amusing. She knew it was kind of there to give her some information and that she should listen to it. But it was kind of like late. And when she talked about it, she realized that the self-doubt was there because she wrote her books about 10 years ago and she just was like, things have changed. And the self-doubt was there just to remind her hey, make sure you're being real with people when you talk about the books. Let them know some things may have changed. Talk about it authentically and openly, and then it just totally went away and it was fine. Whereas her gut no feeling was very clear in response to some communication someone sent to her that things were not ready to act on, things were not in a good spot, things didn't feel quite right. It was a very clear gut no. And when she was talking about these things, her face was serious and her brow furrowed when it was a gut no. So her energy, her body language really communicated the difference between the two. What does your body language do? When I have some self-doubt, I might move faster. You know, for me, it's the jittery, so I might move faster, do more faster. That's when I might make the spelling mistakes because maybe I'm moving too fast. Or when I like write the wrong date or whatever. And when it's a gut no, I kind of move slower. I have that sinking feeling. For her, I noticed a kind of amusement with a self-doubt and a heaviness or a frown or seriousness with a gut no. What is it for you? One of my other students was bringing up self-doubt, the feeling of self-doubt and a gut no in her whole processing through of how to share some important information with her kids, in doing it in a way that was true to her and was true to them and that worked for them. She was able to have a gut no when other people were giving her advice that didn't feel right to her. And she was able to push past her self-doubt when her fears came up about having the conversation with her kids at all. Because she knew that it's in line with her values to be honest and real with her kids. So the difference there, her self-doubt came up and she was able to identify it because the thing that's in line with her values is a thing she's doing. Just because it's scary, just because self-doubt comes up, doesn't mean she's not gonna do it. The other part was that gut no was like, nope, nobody else is gonna tell me what to do with my kids. I know. I know them, I know me, I know it's important to me. And then lastly, another student shared that self-doubt buzz, that kind of light vibey energy was kind of in his upper torso when he was gonna share a new track on a record with a collaborator. And that he's like, I've had this feeling before, this kind of comes up when I'm gonna put my art out there. I get this, and he was able to identify it and push past it and move on, kind of write it out, feel it for a minute, and be like, all right, I'm gonna play this track anyways. And it went great. And then the gut no was in response to a request for him to go out at the end of a really long day. And he had this FOMO that was like, I want to go out, but his gut no was telling him he needed a rest and have some alone time, even for 10 or 15 minutes and recharge. And he heard the gut no, which was like a deep knowing. It was just like a you know what's up, buddy, in his body. Different than the buzz in his torso, and he listened to it. All right, so your first step is to identify the difference in those two feelings for you and allow them. Allow the self-doubt to be there. Get curious, feel it. What's the vibration in your body? Use the practice and go back to that episode of the practice if you need it. If it's a gut no, where is that feeling in your body? What is the feeling? For me, it feels like fear, or it did the last time I had a gut no. It was kind of like, oh, no, uh-uh. Backsliding, fear. So that's your first step is to just be with the feeling for a moment. Identify it. The second step is to see what's under the feeling and decide what to do. So for me, when my self-doubt came up, what was under the feeling was what will they think? What will I be able to pull off? Will I let people down? Will this resonate with them? My thoughts that were all about like doubt in myself. So I listened to the thoughts and I I was like, okay, well, first of all, I'm gonna change these thoughts to I can absolutely do this. This is not about me at all. This is about helping people. And I got some information from them that I might actually need to plan a few more things into my calendar so that I know I'm gonna follow through. That will make that doubt of am I gonna follow through go away. So I plan some things in my calendar. So it's not just that self-doubt is something to push past, it's something that tells us often that we're on the right track and it might tell us some actions we need to take. In my case, I wanted to support myself by planning a few more things in my calendar. The self-doubt was there because I was doing something new and big, but also it was telling me, hey, set yourself up for success a little bit more. And I did it and it went away. The other one, though, what was under the deeper, the fear of the gut no was that backsliding feeling for me, that sliding backward sinking feeling. And it was because I had worked really hard for a couple of years to set new boundaries that were hard for me to set, worked super hard on them, and then I started to loosen those boundaries up over time. And I started having that feeling of gut no, sliding backward. I worked so hard to set these boundaries. I have been so much healthier and happier since setting these boundaries. So that gut no really told me clearly to tighten back up my boundaries. I can keep an open heart, but tighten up my boundaries. And it was super important and super clear. So that second step is to see what's under them and decide what to do. Sometimes you'll do something, sometimes you'll do nothing. Sometimes with self-doubt, it's just to allow the self-doubt and keep on moving on. So to review, your first step is to feel the feeling, identify the feeling and allow it. Your second step is to see what's under the feeling and decide what to do. Do something, do nothing. And then the third and most magical step is to collect evidence. So every time you do this, every time you take the time to reflect on your self-doubt or your gut know, to identify the feeling, allow it, and then act in an informed way that's not fueled by the blind, sort of like melding with the emotion, but you're feeling the emotion, then looking at it and deciding what you want to do from your higher mind. You're gonna collect the evidence that trusting your gut know and allowing the feeling of self-doubt and then moving on and doing the thing that pushes you to grow and contribute is a good thing. That it helps you thrive, that it helps the world around you be its best. So you're gonna reflect back, that's the third step, and notice what happens. The good things that happen when you trust your gut, no. And when you listen to self-doubt, you validate it, but you do the thing that's important to you anyway. You're gonna collect the evidence. And the reason you want to collect the evidence is because every time you do, you'll get better and more natural at moving past self-doubt and honoring your gut know in the future. You get more and more familiar with what those feelings are in your body, and you're more and more aware of the payoff of speaking your body's language by listening to your gut know and honoring it, and by allowing the feeling of self-doubt and moving forward anyway, with whatever information you need from it. So the more familiar you are with those signals, the better. So, for example, my student said self-doubt is a buzz in my arms and my torso. I know now over the years, having pushed past this enough times, I know it's gonna come up when I put new material out there. So now, when it comes up, I just feel it and I actually know I'm on the right track. I've trained myself to know that buzz, that self-doubt's gonna come up every time I put something new and exciting out there. Y'all, when my student said that, this is what I thought. That is an example of a person who is mastering the art of honoring the information that an outdated nervous system is giving them, but not letting the lizard brain drive the car. That student has learned the language that his nervous system speaks to communicate with him. He listens to it, he validates it, and he moves on. Damn, that is some grown work. That's amazing. All right, another example. One of my students was experiencing self-doubt about honoring a nighttime screen time rule with their kids. The self-doubt came up, the student honored it and then decided to keep that rule. No screen time in the evening. After that, that decision to keep the rule intact, to let the self-doubt pass, all that self-doubt we have about parenting. Am I making the right decision? Am I being too hard on my kids? Whatever that self-doubt is, this student honored their nighttime rule and it led to amazing connection time without screens with their kid. Super valuable conversations with their kid instead of being plugged into a screen. And even a moment where they were able to talk to their kid and teach them about how it's easier to want to watch TV and zone out than talk through what was challenging in the day. So I'm going to reiterate the example of self-doubt coming up when we're pushing ourselves to start something new or put something big out there, just put something out there at all. A lot of the thoughts that come up for me and that I hear in other people are thoughts like Will I be able to keep up with this? I maybe will, maybe I won't. Will I let myself down? I might not finish this. I might let people down, other people down. I might not be able to stay focused on this and follow through. I might drop all of this when other things come up. I might get scared and run away. People have all of these thoughts, and all of this self-doubt is brought into the body with these thoughts when they're trying something new, when they're putting out an idea out there that's new, pushing themselves to grow, to make an impact in the world. And it's totally okay that this self-doubt comes up. What we do when that self-doubt comes up is we honor it, we allow the feeling, and then we put systems of accountability in place. If folks are afraid that they're not going to follow through, that they're going to lose their way, they're going to lose their nerve, they'll let people down. We just make sure they have an accountability system. In the Bloom Room, in the Moxie Mastermind, we check in every week. We are the accountability system for each other. Then that self-doubt can come up, but it's not going to get the best of you because you're reporting to your group. You're 95% more likely to achieve your goals if you have a weekly touch base with a group that keeps you accountable. So all that self-doubt, all those thoughts can come up. We can honor them. We can know that they're not a reason to keep moving, and we can put systems in place to make things a little bit easier. If the self-doubt and the gut know, any of those things come up, we can listen to them, we can get the information from them. With a gut know, it's often boundaries that need to be set. A lot of the time, a gut no is telling us where our boundaries are. So very different information than what self-doubt gives us. If the core learning from this is a sentence in each in each bucket, self-doubt is a reason we're probably pushing ourselves to grow and we're on the right track and it's going to give us some information. A gut no is an indicator of where our boundaries need to be. All right. They both give you super important information. So now it's your turn. Self-doubt versus a gut no. What are examples for you? What's an example of the last time self-doubt came up or multiple times that it came up? What's an example of one of the last times that you had a gut no reaction? Then follow the three steps. Think through how you would handle it again with these three steps so that you're prepared to handle it next time in this way. Number one, allow the feeling. Number two, see what's under the feeling and decide what to do. Do something or do nothing. What are the thoughts that are under the feeling? What's the information you can get from the self-doubt or the gut no? And how is it going to inform your action? Self-doubt is often a reason to keep moving forward. Means you're on the right track. A gut no is often a sign that there's a boundary you need to set. Step three, collect evidence that you're on the right track. Look back over your shoulder and notice how when you push past self-doubt, set yourself up for a little bit more success, but keep on moving, good things happen. Look back over your other shoulder and see that when you honor your gut no, good things happen. All right, my friends, that is what I've got for you this week. Come join us in the Moxie. Come join us in the Bloom Room. We love you. We got you, and we will see you next week. If you like what you're hearing on the podcast, you gotta come and join us in the Bloom Room. This is a year-round membership where we take all of these concepts and we apply them to real life in a community where we have each other's backs and we bring out the best in each other. We're all there to make our ideas real. One idea at a time.