Bloom Your Mind

Ep 158: Finding Your Mentors

• Marie McDonald

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0:00 | 13:39

We start the year—or a new chapter of life or a new project—with a vision. We know what we want to create, who we want to become, and what we want to move toward next. And then…we stop there.

In this episode, we talk about why having a vision isn’t enough—and the single factor that determines whether your idea actually becomes real: belief. Not surface-level optimism, but sustained belief that you can do this, even when doubt, old patterns, and blind spots show up.

There is always a new way to think about how to do something. And often, we can’t see where we’re stuck in our own thinking—especially when we don’t yet have an example of the person we’re becoming. This is one of the biggest places I see people stall, particularly women leaders who are looking for models of strength rooted in feminine energy rather than burnout or hustle.

In this episode, we explore how to move forward even when you can’t find “someone exactly like you” who has already done what you want to do.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

  • Why belief—not vision—is the real differentiator between ideas that stay ideas and ideas that become real
  • How staying stuck often comes from unseen thought patterns, not lack of effort or talent
  • Why waiting for the perfect mentor can keep you frozen
  • Three powerful ways to find mentorship when no single example exists

The Three Ways to Find Your Mentors

  1. Put yourself in rooms with women who bring out your best.
     Surround yourself with people who keep your energy high, your vision alive, and your momentum moving forward.
  2. Build a mosaic of mentors.
     Find multiple women who are doing different parts of what you want to do—leading, creating, parenting, speaking, building, living. Let their examples expand what feels possible.
  3. Be your own example.
     The world doesn’t need a carbon copy of someone else. It needs you. The way you lead, create, love, and contribute is the mentorship someone else is looking for.

You don’t have to wait for permission. You don’t have to wait for proof. You get to become the person you’ve been searching for.

And if you want support doing that—working with your thought patterns, maintaining momentum, and taking aligned next actions—we’ve got you.

Come join us in the Bloom Room or the Moxie Mastermind.
 We gotchuuuuu. 💛

How to connect with Marie:

JOIN THE BLOOM ROOM!
We'll take all these ideas and apply them to our lives. Follow me on Instagram at @the.bloom.coach to learn more and snag a spot in my group coaching program!

SPEAKER_01:

Welcome to the Bloom Your Mind Podcast, where we take all of your ideas for what you want and we turn them into real things. I'm your host, certified coach Marie McDonald. Let's get into it.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, hello everybody, and welcome to episode number 158 of the Bloom Your Mind Podcast. Where I am in the world, it is very early in the morning right now. I am about to hop on a flight to go out of the country. And listen, this is wild. I am in the middle of some amazing adventures right now. I just got back after the holidays from a couple weeks off, spending so much good time with my kids. Oh my gosh. Just so much time being in all the small moments with them, giggling and laughing and building Legos and geeking out on new books that I got for my 13-year-old that are like, you know, next level books where she and I can geek out on them in a little bit of a more adult way. So fun. And having Nerf gun battles and cooking and just doing so much good stuff. Well, we ended that two-week break with a trip to ski to Mammoth, and it was really crowded and really cold and snowy, and it was a wild adventure. It was really fun. Snowing the whole time, so much powder, and my kids found like ice caves, and we had snowball fights, and it was really fun. And we drove all the way to Mammoth. It's about an eight-hour drive, chatted on the way up and the way back. And then when I got home, I had a one-day turnaround to unpack, get everything settled, and pack up for this morning when I get on a flight to Costa Rica. From the snow to Costa Rica. I'm so excited. And in Costa Rica, I have a group of my peers, and we gather together to work on the changes we're trying to make in the world. It's a bunch of women, and we have we support each other in working through all the work that we're doing in the world. We have adventures together, and it's just like a cohort of colleagues that lift each other up, incredible, powerful women that take responsibility for what they're thinking and feeling and how they're being in the world, and that really are trying to make positive changes in the world with the work that they do. So we gather together to help each other do that. And when I get back from Costa Rica in a week, the Bloom Room launches for the year with all new content, a bunch of new members. We're really excited about it. So get in there, DM me or message me in any way that you want. If you want in, because all that new content starts rolling out. You can join throughout the year, but it's really fun to be a part of the initial energy. And then the Moxie Mastermind starts in mid-February. A group of incredible women that are all turning ideas into real things or working on a business or working on an idea for the world, for their life, for their communities, for their relationships, their body, whatever an idea that they're trying to make real in a collective of amazing other women who have their backs and are doing the same type of work. So that's all starting in the next month. And we'd love to have you with us. But I've been thinking a lot as all of these things launch, as I wrapped up the year last year, and we ended with last week's podcast episode on yearly reflections, the questions that matter, writing a letter to yourself, to your future you, and from your future perspective, and then really reflecting on the year before and who you were and how you were, and what you want to make this year. What do you want to make happen? What changes do you want to make? How do you want to make yourself different? How do you want to be the same? What do you want to celebrate? We did lots of that reflection last week in our podcast episode. And in coaching all my students through it, some things I've been thinking a lot about this over the break, and some things have come up. And it's this idea that, like at New Year's, some of us put a lot of pressure on ourselves. Some of us want to like change everything. We want to make a list of all the things that we're not doing, and we want to start doing all the things. And that doesn't help us to try to be a completely new person and do it in a day, right? In this artificial, artificial construct of the year. I talked last week a lot about how although this is an artificial construct, it's always a great opportunity to reflect, look at what is and isn't working and how you're approaching life and work and everything, relationships, habits, health, and make changes. What is and isn't working, what do you want to look, what do you want to do differently? And whether you do that in New Year's or any other time, it's always beneficial and helpful. But there are a couple of things that are specifically helpful in the way that you do this. When you are taking your reflection for any time, whether it's the prior year or just the last month, I like to do retros and reflect weekly, monthly, yearly, all the time. Look at what is and isn't working, and you can look at retros are everything, the episode. You can listen to it if you want to hear more about that. But when we're doing that, we don't want to make a giant list of what we want to do differently. We want to choose one or two game-changing goals. I like to choose one that's professional, related to my work, my contribution to the world, and one that's just all about me and adventures I want to have and who I want to be for my people and how I want to love and live and give. And so I really encourage you to take that reflection that you did. And if you haven't reflected yet, just to sit down and reflect on last year, and then take a couple, couple goals that are your biggest, most exciting goals for the whole year. Maybe it's a trip you want to take. Maybe it's a book you want to write. Maybe it is a relationship you want to start dating. Maybe it is a habit, a physical habit. I love making goals around physical habits, around being in stronger or in better health, drinking more water. Maybe it's something you want to learn. Maybe you want to learn a language, maybe you want to scale a business, maybe you want to come join one of the groups, the Moxie or the Bloom Room, and get into a community so you're less isolated. Whatever it was in your list that lit you up the most, choose one or two things and make that your vision for the year. So that's the first thing is to narrow it down into one or two things. Because I want to remind you that there it's never over. No matter how many times we've tried something before, we gotta let go of the past because we're gonna do do it differently this time. There are always new ways to approach what we want. There are always new approaches to take, new uh thoughts that we're thinking that we can't even see, or ways we're thinking about things that we can't see ourselves that are blocking us. I do this work day in and day out, and it always happens to me. It's constant. We can't see our own brains, we're in them. So there is always a new way to think about the goal that you have, the dream that you have. It's never too late. It's never time to say, Well, I've tried this enough times, it's not gonna happen. You can always start again. Right now is always the perfect time to start again. But you gotta do it with support, with people that have your back, with accountability, with friends or partners or coaching groups, whatever you got, that's gonna have your back and help you along the way. Because the one thing that makes the difference between whether you make the changes you want to make, have the adventures and life experiences you want to have, act like the person that you want to be is your confidence that you can. That's the biggest thing that makes a difference is your belief that you can do it. And there are very, very specific ways that you can build that belief. It doesn't come to us naturally because our brains have a lot of negativity bias. So you can build that belief in very specific ways through working with your conscious mind and your unconscious mind, through working with your emotions, through daily practices. We teach all of that in the bloom room. We work on all of that in the Moxie. But what I want you to hear today is whatever you get from this podcast. I have tons of tools I've shared for free that are all here. Use them. Build your belief that you can. And if you need some help, reach out. I got you. But here's the thing I want to end by sharing the pitfall that I see people come to the most, which is I really want to do this thing. I really believe that I can, but I don't see anybody out there that's doing it just the way that I want to. I have no example of exactly what I want to be. I hear this over and over, especially from women. I hear women say, I don't see leaders leading from a super feminine energy that are balancing their femininity and their softness and their nurturing and their playfulness with badassery and like getting shit done and making changes in the world and and like not burning themselves out, having time and space and margins, but also kicking ass. I hear that from women a lot. And here are the things that I want to say to you. If you don't see anybody out there that is an exact example of who you want to be or how you want to grow, number one, there's never gonna be because you are you and you are totally unique. But there are four things that you can do to get as close as you can to having a role model that is teaching you how to be who you want to be. The first one is to put yourself in rooms with people who are living like you want to live, who are doing things that are similar to what you're doing, not the exact same thing, but take little pieces of what you want and find that in other people put yourself in the room with people who are going to elevate you to your highest level. And I don't mean highest as this big pressure thing. I mean your healthiest, happiest, best, most self-expressed level. You being you, baby. Like, not you starting a company if you don't want to. Go hike trails for the rest of your life. Do whatever you want to do, right? But put yourself in a room with people who are gonna support you to be you and do what you want and live the life you're you're proud of. Put yourself in those rooms, surround yourself with those people, not with the people who don't get what you're up to. And if that's your family and your partner, that's totally cool. Like surround yourself with them, that's fine, but just don't talk to them about the big goals if they're gonna start shooting them down. Give yourself communities that will support you. Second, don't look for one person that emulates exactly who you want to be or is an exemplar of it. Take little pieces and cobble them all together. Follow different people in the news or in blogs or social media or whatever you do. Read their books. Don't look for one, look for many or a handful that you can learn from that can be your mentors, whether you know them in person or not, your inspiration. The third piece, so first we have put yourself in the room, surround yourself with people that are gonna pull out your vision and your highest self. Second is to is to take pieces of examples of people. Don't look for one person. Expand your vision of what's possible for yourself by taking little pieces of the people that inspire you in third. Take that vision and calendar it, man. A vision, an idea, a goal is just gonna stay a dream unless you break it down into milestones that are measurable and put them in your calendar. And again, come work with me if you want support in doing that. And lastly, you gotta believe in yourself. That's what we started out with. Work every day to generate the belief that you can. Because you can. You have this one magnificent life and you're living it right now. And you deserve to live it in exactly the way that you want to. All right. I love you so much. I'll see you next week. And I'm sure I'll have stories of monkeys and who knows what else. That's what I've got for you this week, and I will see you next week.

SPEAKER_01:

If you like what you're hearing on the podcast, you gotta come and join us in the Bloom Room. This is a year-round membership where we take all of these concepts and we apply them to real life in a community where we have each other's backs and we bring out the best in each other. We're all there to make our ideas real. One idea at a time. We'll see you in the bloom room.