Imagine leaving behind the chaos of your routine, your phone, and retreating to a cabin in the woods for a 10-day silent meditation retreat. That's exactly what I, your host Mike, did, and I'm here to share my enlightening experience with you. Hear about a journey that starts with a daunting 4 am alarm, a journey that's all about learning to disconnect from the world and finding inner peace. Take a peek into the retreat's schedule, its restrictions, and the importance of letting go.
I remember the struggle of maintaining a new routine, the fight against the ego, and the determination to stay on course. Do you have the courage to face your inner demons and control your emotions? I did, and I learned some invaluable lessons from a mysterious stranger along the way. Our chat explores the power of focus, how it influences the body, and the essence of living in the present.
As we conclude this enlightening journey, let's talk about the science of positivity and happiness. Let me share with you how learning to relinquish negative energy and embrace positivity has been transformative for me. It's a work in progress, but the results are incredible. Join me as we explore the power of choice in determining our destiny. Open up to the universe and its endless possibilities, for we are all in this together, and every shared story is a beacon of light for someone else. So, are you ready to embark on this journey with me?
Imagine leaving behind the chaos of your routine, your phone, and retreating to a cabin in the woods for a 10-day silent meditation retreat. That's exactly what I, your host Mike, did, and I'm here to share my enlightening experience with you. Hear about a journey that starts with a daunting 4 am alarm, a journey that's all about learning to disconnect from the world and finding inner peace. Take a peek into the retreat's schedule, its restrictions, and the importance of letting go.
I remember the struggle of maintaining a new routine, the fight against the ego, and the determination to stay on course. Do you have the courage to face your inner demons and control your emotions? I did, and I learned some invaluable lessons from a mysterious stranger along the way. Our chat explores the power of focus, how it influences the body, and the essence of living in the present.
As we conclude this enlightening journey, let's talk about the science of positivity and happiness. Let me share with you how learning to relinquish negative energy and embrace positivity has been transformative for me. It's a work in progress, but the results are incredible. Join me as we explore the power of choice in determining our destiny. Open up to the universe and its endless possibilities, for we are all in this together, and every shared story is a beacon of light for someone else. So, are you ready to embark on this journey with me?
Hi, welcome back to another episode of Life Changers, and this is Mike. We are back for our third season, so I'd like to thank everybody who's been listening to us and encouraging us, and sorry, we haven't uploaded a lot in the summer, just been really busy. So we decided to take the summer off and now we're back to our next season and then, yeah, we'll just continue doing two seasons a year after this. So it's good to be back. It's hard to get the groove, like I've been trying to record, I guess, for the last month. It's just really hard to get back in the groove of things when you're just not used to it. After, like the summer, it's been a while, but a lot has happened.
Speaker 1:So we're going to talk a lot about ego in this season and another topic I'd like to talk about is how I guess you know trying to find, you know, everlasting love, you know, and stuff like that, and it's just a very interesting story I just wanted to share with you on that. So we'll get to that throughout the season. But I guess one of the main topics is your ego, or, as some, most people know it, the voice in your head. I am not going crazy, I'm just want to talk a little bit about the ego, because I learned a lot about the ego. I guess one of the last things you heard me talking about is how we're going to, how I went to do a 10 day meditation retreat and I've been to sideburn and a bunch of other festivals this year and talked to a lot of people and a lot of amazing people out there and just see how awesome the world is and stuff like that.
Speaker 1:As long as we don't focus on the doom and gloom right, because you know it's true what, when you are projecting outwards, is what you're going to get? Sorry, I was just going to pick up my phone to make sure it was on silent because I don't want to get interrupted when I'm in the flow and I just interrupted myself, but is what it is? So I was going to push on, vibrate or lowering to let you go. Sorry about that. But, like I say, uncut it unedited, let's just we take the raw footage, we master the sound to make it sound a little bit cleaner and more consistent, in case I back up from the mic and stuff like that, so it's like consistently loud and stuff like that. But I digress, but no, I truly I know for a fact.
Speaker 1:Like for me it is what it is, but like if it doesn't work for you, if you don't recognize it, maybe you might start recognizing it or start understanding it more. I mean, I heard about all this stuff like when I was younger and how to stop people are nuts but until I actually started putting it to practice. Now it is what it is like. I actually see and understand a lot, but you know it's like. You know it's like they say right, you are what you eat, right, but what you put out in the universe, what you focus on, is what you're going to get in return. So if you're focused on all the negativity in the world and if you're focused on all the crazy stuff that's going on, that's what you're going to see. A lot of. It's kind of like the algorithm. I know I mentioned it before, but for all the new listeners it's kind of like the algorithm for YouTube or TikTok or any of those platforms. The moment you start searching things, it will be like oh, their attention span on this item was a lot longer than these items, so we're going to show them more of that and that becomes your reality. And then your reality becomes negative. If that's what you're putting out in order to research all this negative stuff, people say oh you know, mike, if you don't listen to the reality of the world, you know you're living in a bubble. Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1:No, we are all co-creators. We all create our beliefs, our existence. We all create what we want to focus on, what we deem is true, what we deem is fake, and so on and so forth. So it is what it is. But for me, I realize more and more like it's crazy, like it's just crazy. So like I've listened, like been watching a lot of like movies and stuff like that and like reality shows and stuff, but I notice a lot.
Speaker 1:That one you know I bring into my reality like the word, like you know I don't know, when you put me on the spot, I put myself on the spot. But when I bring into my reality stuff like you know how, you know I create my reality, or the frequency of money and this, and that I start hearing it more and seeing it more, right, and there's even been a thing I forget what it's called, but it's kind of like when you buy a brand new pair of shoes or you buy a new car or something new, you never really noticed it before. But when you buy one and you start noticing it, then you start seeing it everywhere. You're like, what is everybody copying me, right? Well, that's because you brought into your reality. Now you're focused on that, that's what you're going to see, because that's what you're searching for and that's what the universe will be like hey, look over, here she is, this is what you're looking for.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, for me it's puppies and rainbows, or, like I like to say, hakuna Matata. It's such a wonderful phrase because it means no worries, and I just want to be in a worry-free state, because I don't know about you, but like if we're just focused on all the worries of life and then start getting crazy and then oh, but like I try to keep me, like Dr Joe Dispenza would say you know, I don't want to be high beta, I want to be normal. I don't want to be always pushing my feet on the gas and trying to accelerate really hard and really fast and then push the brakes the same time, because we do that all the time and I don't always want to be like worried and stand by. So yeah, in my reality is puppies and rainbows and I focused on a lot of awesome things, but I digress back to the story at hand. So the 10 day meditation retreat right, I believe it's called the Vipassana meditation retreat and, as a lot of you know, my wife has done it twice and that was this was my first time going this early in the summer and pretty much it's a lot of people I tell they're like what? You're not seated, that it's not as bad as it sounds. Okay, I'm gonna tell you what happened and then I'll tell you other things and then that will bring us into the thing for talking about, like understanding my ego or the voice in your head and stuff like that. So that's what we're gonna focus on.
Speaker 1:So the 10 day retreat so you pull up to this place and it's nice. It's like I don't know, in the woods near the countryside, like there's no, like even your cell phone, like when I pulled in, it was kind of like glitching out, like, oh hey, we're in the middle of nowhere, why are we here, mike? But so like I was getting ready, you know, like I was mentally ready, my wife explained to me a lot. Like I'm not a lot, but she explained to me a few things like just listen, do what they say and have fun. She's like it's gonna be amazing, it's gonna be relaxing for you, right? I was like, okay, I like to relax, right, I gotta.
Speaker 1:I literally gave my wife my cell phone, all the information she needed to run the company. So if there's anything she needs to do and meetings, I had you know coming up for those 10 days and any, if any customers calls and emergencies and stuff like that, how to deal with it, right? So I just gave her everything and then it's that's it. You go check in, okay, and you're, you're about to talk. At first they check in, you say you're here, and then okay, yeah, and they tell you where you're gonna be sleeping. So I ended up looking out. My wife says, oh, you're so lucky, like it's amazing, you're gonna love it.
Speaker 1:So, instead of sleeping in like with a roommate and like in like university type barracks, I guess I like rooms, right, so there's like two per room and they're all like two floors of everybody, but they're like, yeah, you're gonna get a cabin. I was like cool, so I got a cabin in the woods. It was awesome, I was excited and you know, my wife can't stay actually for a little bit like. So when I checked in they were allowed to stay, my wife and kids and they came and looked at the cabin where I was gonna stay and they're like cool, you know, I showed them this is like we're gonna eat and you know, and stuff like that. Like we weren't allowed to go into the meditation hall, but you know I was like, well, that's where I'm assuming I'm gonna meditate, and stuff like that. And then my family left and then I got to hang out. I was talking to some people like, oh yeah, this is my second time. A lot of people is their first time. It was my first time. And then we get to eat and then they talked to us a little bit about what they expect.
Speaker 1:So pretty much it lights out by 10 o'clock at night and then you get woken up at like four in the morning or 4 30 in the morning. So if you're sleeping in, like the, the main sleeping area, there's like a buzzer that goes off inside. But since I was in the woods I had to have an alarm clock. So I brought my own alarm clock and then they take everybody's cell phones away. So you're not allowed on your cell phones, you don't get to check emails. No, voicemail, no, nothing. You're disconnected from the world, okay, which is awesome. You're disconnected from, like, everything that's going on in the world. Like you hear nothing, okay. And yeah, there's an emergency, like there's a phone number people can call me at or they can call you know, after I have an emergency, I can call out and stuff, right. But yeah, no phones, no, nothing. You disconnected and you're not allowed to talk to anybody after supper.
Speaker 1:So when supper rolls around that day, we're not allowed to talk after that and you don't talk for 10 days. Hear, fly in the studio, anyways, I'm not gonna get distracted. So you don't talk to nobody for 10 days. So they call it a 10-day retreat. But, just a fun fact, you're there for two other half days, so it's 10 full days. So the first day is just a half day, right, you check in after supper, it doesn't really count. Tell like the next day is day one, okay. Then when day 10 hits, so, which is 11 at that point, then only day 12, in the morning, after breakfast, we're allowed to leave. Make it stop so bad. You're not allowed to leave. That's. Another thing is there's all these areas left to walk, but you're not allowed to leave the property, you're not allowed to walk to other areas.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, I was in there like the guy's own and we were all talking and stuff. And then you know, separate around, boom, stop talking and then you just alone in your head. You got nothing to distract you. We have a lot. I noticed we're like we have a lot of distractions, even talking to my friends or even my wife. Sometimes I'm like what did we do, like before smartphones or iPhones and stuff like we actually like hung out and talked and did things like it's ridiculous how you realize how much you don't do Because we're gonna launched on our devices because it's never gonna miss something. And don't get me wrong, there's a lot of good stuff on your devices. You can get a lot of amazing information and do a lot of good with it. But there's also a lot of distracting stuff and then, before you know, becomes a habit and it's like an addiction where you like if there's nothing to do, you just pull your phone. And I don't want to be that person, but I am, apparently I Felt naked without my phone.
Speaker 1:So day one starts, so we sleep, I go to bed, I wake up at 4 am. I'm like I'm gonna do this. So I woke up at 4 am, I'm gonna ask you to wake up at 4 am and then 4 30 is when you're allowed like loud, like I can leave. There's no washrooms in my cabin, like it's just literally plywood and wood in the woods. So I have to walk like a minute or two out of the woods To go to one of the main buildings when there's washrooms and stuff that I could use. So in the middle of the night I'm not leaving, so I'm not walking out there in the middle of the night. Who knows what's in the woods. So, and there's only six cabins in the woods, only six of us out there, and yeah, I just think it up, everything.
Speaker 1:It's just so funny some of the stuff, but anyways, so it's you know, the official morning of day one, day one. Sorry. So I was. My alarm goes off because I see to set your alarm for at least like four o'clock. Wake up, you'll do your routine. Then 4 30 until 5 30, try to just like meditate, and all they want you to do is like so they teach you, I guess the night before before day one. So day minus one or day zero. They teach you like that you just focus on your breathing, just Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. That's all they tell you to do, that's it. So I'm all gun-ho.
Speaker 1:I woke up. You know, 4, 30 for 4, 4, 15, 4, 30. I'm sitting down this chair, I'm like, yeah, close my eyes. And I'm just like, focus on your breathing. So, fun fact, when you're focused on your breathing, you're not focused on anything else. So if you focus on breathing, you're not focused on anything else. So it's amazing. So you just start, you know, focus on any breath. And if you start getting, your mind starts to wander. Oh, hey, like I wonder what's going on on my phone? Oh, I don't have my phone. Oh, what's going here? Then just bring it back to breathe in, breathe out. Okay, so I did that, no problem. And then about, you know, 5, 30.
Speaker 1:It's like, oh, breakfast time. And you know, open my eyes, and then I see this thing on one of the screen windows. I Like this black blob, I guess, because it was like sunny, but not too sunny yet, and I was like, oh, whatever, that is like probably just like a leaf or something right. And then I was like cool. So then it's like breakfast time, so go to go see breakfast. And then he starts seeing people walking around. So I start walking around and now I'll go to breakfast and it's so quiet, all you hear. This shit's clean, clean People eating.
Speaker 1:But you know, and they tell you not to make eye contact. You know how sometimes make eye contact, people like oh, he's like, nod your head, like yes, I understand. Like they tell you not to do anything like that, like you're supposed to be there for you, you're in your own space, you're there to help yourself. I Didn't know why. Yet what am I helping myself with? I'm happy, I'm good, I'm good, I could have a tada right.
Speaker 1:And Then, you know, stars my heads, my mind starts to wander with all this, like funny thoughts, and I'm just like, okay, you know, and you know there's books that I've listened to on audible, by dr Joe dispensa and another one by Michael a singer. And Michael a singer has one that talks about the voice in your head. I believe my close here. Yeah, it kind of talks about it a bit, and dr Joe dispensa as well, but anyways, and they talk about your ego or the voice in your head. Yes, michael a singer, yeah, okay, he has a book called the untethered soul that talks about it. It's really good. Should look it up, michael, a singer, untethered soul, and he also has one called the surrender experiment, which is not the one I recommend, but yeah, so he talks about it a bit and he wrote a whole book about it, about his experience.
Speaker 1:But the voice in your head and how he's just trying to get through shut up, just to stop because it always seems to be negative, right, and yeah, my mind starts doing that. Right, like, oh, what if you're not doing it? Right, why, you know what is this and why is this happening? And oh, like, for breakfast, like it's just oatmeal and fruit, I don't really drink coffee, but like there's juice and milk for the coffee, so drink milk and water. Like you carry water bottles, you drink a little water, because when you're bored you just drink water, but anyways.
Speaker 1:So, and like, we have our sign seats. By the way, we have an assigned seat where we eat, with sign seat in the meditation hall where you sit, meditate and there is people you can talk to, where you're allowed to like, talk really quiet, and say like, hey, I need help with this or I'm having a problem with this. And every day, after the meditation sessions, you can talk to, um, the person that's there in charge and, like tell him, like I'm not, I feel this or I don't feel that, and that's what I'm working on. So, like you don't have to talk a little bit, but you don't have to talk to each other and they're recommended. You don't talk and no nodding, no acknowledging other people's existence, because we're all there for ourselves. So you don't want to, you know, distract people.
Speaker 1:And so after breakfast, like so I'll join breakfast, I'm like, oh, okay, this is like I'm doing it, like I'm all like Day one's easy, good. Before you know it, you know I'm counting down the minutes before I got to see my amazing, beautiful wife come, pick me up and my kids and be like I did it, you know. So I start like my mind starts wondering about, like love, all the accomplishments gonna be awesome, you're doing good. You know this is easy, right, and you know I first my mind is pretty good, it's not negative. And then after breakfast, um, I believe it was by 6 30, and then you have a little bit of free time until 7 30 where you can like shower and stuff, like that shave, do whatever you need to do, and then by 7 30, boom in the meditation hall.
Speaker 1:You One of the meditation, all for two hours. Each time we go home, go three times a day, and That'll actually the last time was for three hours, a lot longer and then, like they tell you, like you'll hear from the person that tells you like okay, this is the new, this is like, tells you some stories, like you watch, like it's pretty fine, I'll get to it. So you go in and then you just that's it. You're told to focus on your breathing again and you do that for like three days. Why, yeah, three days, we just focus on the breathing. So I go, and then you try to make sure your mind is water over my case. I try to make sure my mind doesn't wander and that I don't fall asleep and snore. Embarrassing without be that I'm just in there snoring away and everybody trying to meditate and that's a smack me.
Speaker 1:But after the first morning meditation I talked to the guy. I was, like you know, sitting on the floor in the lotus position, where it's like crisscross applesauce you cross your legs, you know, and you sit there. I Said you know, it's kind of hard for me, like I get start getting pain in my legs and on my back and stuff like that. And so he's like, well, you could just, you know, don't worry about it, that's part of the process. Like you got to get through the pain, you got to get through the pain and I was like, well, if it's possible to have a Chair. He was, well, there's these wooden blocks you can take and kind of like, sit on it. And then he put your legs under. So it's kind of like you're kneeling on the floor but yet you're sitting. So, like he goes, that might help you. I was like, okay, yeah, I'll try that. So then you get to leave and then for like an hour or so, then after that's lunchtime, and then you got a little bit of free time. Then you go back into the hall for another two hours, and then I was like, okay, I got this, so Get the piece of wood, I'm sitting on it, I'm doing it.
Speaker 1:I'm like, yeah, my mind starts to wander a bit, like Now my mind's getting grumpy. It's like, hey, they won't give you a chair. They told you the pain is normal. Like what's going on, man? Like you're getting all this pain and stuff and then they don't want to give you a chair. That's not nice to them.
Speaker 1:I'm like, yeah, my mind's like, hey, what if this is just like it's not really about the meditation, that they're watching us to see much Pain they could put on it. I'm just like my mind's like, yeah, what about? And I'm like what the hell's going on? Just shut up, calm down, you know. And my mind is like, oh, hey, no, there goes the ego, just go. Yeah, we're doing what we're told, not just following. I'm here for myself. I'm like, yeah, I'm just gonna do this, because it tells you to give it a shot, like you're here for yourself, you're here to help yourself. And I didn't know why at first. By day three I realized why, and then you know. Then, after that, it's supper and then we get to go back and Do the three hours and they play a video.
Speaker 1:I think you hear guys voice. You talk like it's all like audio. Look, you hear guys voice and he tells you like, okay, this war, focusing on and I know, just breathing, I'm breathing. And Then he says like you could feel the breath and just focus, because and Dr Joda spends us as this all the time that when you are actually closed your mind and not thinking of anything and you're nothing and you just like man. They're like just turn everything off. How that's the best way for your body to heal itself. How it's kind of like rebooting a computer. If you leave a computer on all the time, how it starts getting sluggish and lag-ish and things aren't working properly and stuff like that. Well, this way, if we Meditate, it's like rebooting our computer system. It's like turning it off, turning back on that everything could just like relax and you feel so much better after. And this is what it's all about. This is what I was trying to do.
Speaker 1:Right, that's what I assumed the meditation is about just like, just relax, be no, actually get there and be nothing, and it's cool, like, and my mind has little dialogues going on. It's like looking at other people, sometimes like I open my eyes, I'm just like oh man, like, how long, and like, and when you listen to the audio of the guy that tells you because what we're doing, and sometimes he says like at the end of the so you meditate for two hours and after that we take a little five to ten minute break. Then you come back in. Then they let us watch like an hour or so of a video of the guy teaching us the meditation and talking to us, and then we do a little meditation, then for another half an hour that we're done. So we're there for a while, but at one point he's saying like you know, oh, how you sit there going, I wonder if it's almost over. I wonder like I just mind starts to go nuts right, like hurry up, and my legs hurting, or this is hurting, oh, hurry up. And then you, you know, you try to like open your eyes and you look at one of the clocks somewhere in the building, in the room Right, and then he sees only been five minutes, oh, I felt like an hour. And he start and I'm like, yeah, like it's relatable. I'm like this is crazy, my mind's freaking out because it's used to all the stimulation we have, right, we have the phones. I can watch anything on TV in an instant and I could Google anything and see anything I want. But now I got nothing. It's just me alone. There's other people there, but you feel so alone and it's not a bad thing. Okay, I learned a lot.
Speaker 1:So Day one's over, day two rolls around then, so I go to bed. You know, like we leave at 9 30, we have half an hour and then it slides out and since I'm in the cabin, I got my own light switch. But I mean I just go in there and turn it off and Then I Want to bed. I woke up and Day two I Woke up for about four, forty five a little bit later I Went set down, the Dometa sort of sitting there, my mind just going like oh, what are you doing here?
Speaker 1:What do you? What do you think? You're gonna become like some Buddhist monk or something? You gonna meditate and and waste your life. Like you know, as they say, yolo, you only live once, right, like living life to the fullest. And now you're just wasting this, your second day, and you're just wasting it. Well, I'm like I just okay, I relax, just breathe in, breathe out, breathe in.
Speaker 1:And then, as I start getting brighter again, I looked at the window and I see the on the screen because, like the little curtain the curtain was open a bit See this thing, like this figure, like a little thing, I don't know, a little like, maybe like three, four inches long stuff, like that, whatever. And Then I was like you know, before I leave, for Like I started getting brighter and brighter. So then I turn on the light and took my flashlight on. I looked at the thing as it got brighter before breakfast and I saw what it was. It was a big Spider. It was huge. I forget that there's a wolf spider, a female wolf spider. So if you Google that in your phone, you see how big they can get. Just staring at me, like I could see its eyes, I'm like, oh my god, so this is day two. So I'm like, hey, this is mr Spider. Miss, a spider. Nice to meet, you, pleased.
Speaker 1:And I want to tell you I'm in the cabin in the woods. It's not like some Really nice, well-made cabin, it's literally plywood. There's gaps. I got mosquito netting over my bed because there's mosquitoes can get in, bugs can get in, you know Stuff like that. Like I could see outside. If I look at my door, there's like almost an inch gap and there's all these gaps everywhere, so like bugs can come in and just roam free in there. You know mice, everything. So I'm like can you just stay outside and not come in and eat me?
Speaker 1:No, it's not nuts, but the spider was big and I was a little concerned now the back of my mind, all I'm pitching, the spider, just as I'm sitting there meditating, gonna come in and crawl my leg and, you know, attack me or whatever. And I'm like, oh man, like I'm not scared of spiders or bugs or anything, but I was terrified of the look of this one. If I could look at it and see its eyes looking at me, contemplating life, I mean, yeah, look it up if you want to get squeamish. So then, you know, I go to breakfast and then as we go to the meditation hall after breakfast, the guy comes and says, hey, how's the meditation is going?
Speaker 1:You know, like the one guy was like in charge of helping us if we need anything and I was like, oh, it's going good, but there's a spider in my, on the big, small, my screen in my room. It's outside, but I mean it can just crawl right in. And he's just like, oh, make it funny me. Yeah, you're scared of a spider, huh. And I'm like, okay, and he's like, well, I got you a chair if you wanted it. So he set up a chair for me in the back of the hall, so like I would get a side seating right, because here's where you can sit, or you can sit on the mat or that brick thing, let you decide. I just want you to be comfortable for the meditation, because I look here, you looked a little, you know, like I would wake.
Speaker 1:You know, stretch and move around a lot, trying to, you know, not have a sore back or anything. And I know it's all mind over matter. I know everybody's yelling at their mind at the Mike's. I'm yelling at the mic but yelling going hey, you know it's mind over matter, it. You know. Do you could just wheel it away? Right, right, mike, you could just build away. But yes, it's true, you can.
Speaker 1:But it's harder than it sounds and it took me many years to get to the point that where I'm at, and I'm still learning and this is my journey, this is why I'm doing the podcast is my journey while I'm learning how to Harness the universal powers I guess you would say it becomes supernatural and get what I want, create what I want, but anyways. So I was like that's cool. So then, you know, I sat on the floor for a bit. Then, when I couldn't, I set up on the chair and I was like, oh, this is more relaxing, and then I could just sit there and meditate and then once again, my ego, my mind, the voice of my head, starts going on.
Speaker 1:Hey, you know, you're eating the same thing today. You had the same, is always the same food for breakfast. It's like they're. They don't want you to have any and is a lot. So another fun fact it's all vegan food. So there's no meat, no, nothing, it's all vegan. And the others milk and there's cheese. So it's not. I Guess it's be a vegetarian, vegetarian, sorry, it's all vegetarian. So, look, there's tofu and the stuff like that, but there is meat. I mean the no meat. There's cheese and milk on some of the. In the morning. You got milk and some cheese in the afternoon and put on your salads. So, yeah, it's really healthy food, press, and it's awesome. Like I love healthy food. I don't look like it, but so hard to make anyways.
Speaker 1:And then I was like, yeah, this is cool that my mind's going. Oh, hey, you know. Like it was a hard day. Like my mind is just like I don't know, like the eagle, just like punching me down. Like you know, oh, you can't do this. Like, oh, oh, I wonder what's happening at home, you know, and no one's able to Call you if there's an emergency, right, and I'm like, oh, what if there's all this huge contract you're working on? And then, and then your wife screws it up and then it falls through and my mind's like, oh, and you gotta understand, like I know it's just. If you ever experienced that, you'll understand.
Speaker 1:But when your mind starts going crazy and I'm not crazy, I mean like I'm talking myself my head right, but like where your mind just starts saying all these things, do you like what is this? What is this Cuz? I'm like trying to focus on breathing. Okay, stop talking to me, I'm focusing on breathing, stop, and you mind just continues. And then if you actually entertain that thought, you know how like thoughts come flying through your brain. And then, if you actually entertain it, kind of like whoop-whoop and bring some closer to you, and then no, and then your mind start on, your body starts reacting. If you start accepting it, it's like, oh, yes, that is happening right now, right, and stuff like that. So it's getting like okay, you know, my mind's going a little more, my ego right, and it's just trying to like, hey, you can't do this, punch me down, and trying to get me out of there Because it wants to get back to its routine of doing whatever it does normally. Right, it's hard, it's really hard to change. So I was like, no, I'm gonna do this. So then, after that one, I was like wow, that was hard.
Speaker 1:You know, after the breakfast, the morning one, and then we get to go and you know, stretch, relax and then meditate by yourself, as they say, and then you go eat for lunch and you know, as I see people like I'm watching people, I'm a people watcher, so I'm watching people and some people are like walking around and they're like the gold all grounds. You know, there's a trail. Actually you can walk and go over a bridge and then you walk through the woods. They could walk around the woods but there's a lot of mosquitoes, because summertime mosquitoes love me. So I was like I don't want to go to walk around the woods, so I'm just trying to stay like out of woods as much as possible and Stuff like that. And then I was like so, just Sorry about that, yeah. So I was just like watching people walking around, some people just like drinking and like water and stuff. I'm just like I'm trying to find a place in the sun just to sit and relax, and you know I was just trying to stay in their own world. No one's really talking to each other, stuff like that, and you know.
Speaker 1:And then lunch rolls around and and some people are there like 10 minutes before lunch the cafeteria oven. So they're just in there waiting, waiting, waiting, and then you get to go ahead, since it opens, get food, eat, leave and, like you know, it lasts for like an hour or so. But if you eat fast and then you start walking around again and everybody's just trying to be busy and it's like you know, some people are doing better than others. I see some people just walking around. There's like a little donut like in front of the building where we eat breakfast. It's just like a driveway that it's like a circle and people just pacing around that circle, and then we go meditate, then we go back for the after lunch meditation and then I'm just sitting there and then, okay, I'm okay.
Speaker 1:Focus on breathing ranks. I'm like breathing in, and I don't know if I told you this before, but I have when I was younger or broke my nose, so I have a hard time breathing through my nose. So I'm what you call them mouth brief breather. I breathe through my mouth, so I have to focus to breathe through my nose and sometimes I feel like I don't get enough air, so then I open my breath through my mouth, so I'll try to breathe through my nose, right, you know, in and then In and out. Right, just focusing on the breathing, my mind starts creeping in again. It's like, hey, what you doing, mark, you sitting here, still you're doing nothing, like, and then my mind is just going on about like, hey, you know, you wouldn't know if your wife was driving the the vehicle and then blew a tire and crash, and now they're all in the hospital and there's no way for them anybody to reach you. Because, like your wife's, unconscious and and just my mind is just going nuts Like this and I'm like, what the hell, like, am I crazy? I'm not what I'm realizing here. I'm nuts and this is only like day two. And then it's just like, okay, you know, and I just ignore it. But you know, if you focus on something, your body can make it real.
Speaker 1:Like dr Joda Spence that talks about a few different trials that they've done. Where do they get people to play piano? But we'll just play a certain song, right, and they get the control that does nothing, and they get people to close their eyes and visualize themself learning the song and playing the piano. And the control. Nothing happened in their brain. The people that played the piano, a certain part of their brain started like glowing, as they say. They're like, oh, you learn it right. And the people that just visualized it had the exact same thing as the people that actually did it, like it was creating the same muscle memory in their mind and everything and the same place in their brain, to the point where they probably can sit in front of a computer and they could be able to play it. So, like your mind, you know, doesn't know the difference of what's real or not.
Speaker 1:Just like I explained to, where a lot of people can resonate with this, like if something bad happened to you, right, and then you talk about it even it happened five years ago, ten years ago, twenty years ago and you start talking about it. How you start feeling the exact same anxiety or the same thing and the same and start getting emotional and stuff like that, right, because every time you tell that story, your body's reacting to it as if it's happening again, sorry, and happening again and again and again, every time you tell that story, like, your hands will get clammy. If you talk about a car accident, your hands get clammy and you start shaking and You're like, okay, I talk about it right. Or you might even break down and cry if it's something like you know, something sad that you're talking about, and that's the society we live in is where, like, we focus on things like, like dramatic or things like that, and we just hold on to it and nobody really lives in the now.
Speaker 1:We all live in the past, like it seems like we live in the past and then we plan for the future, but we never reach the future. We just live in the past and we focus in the past. So what's gonna happen? The exact same thing. You just gonna have a loop and so, yeah, a little sign out, but yeah.
Speaker 1:So when you're telling that story and you're talking about it, just like me, when I'm talking about right now, this, my experience at this 10-day meditation retreat, it's bringing back emotions on my mind and my body starts acting like oh man, I'm still here, I'm still meditating, like you know, and it starts reacting as if it's happening right. So no difference if you start focusing on those thoughts in your mind of like, oh, maybe something bad might have happened. All right, like I, my wife told me no news is good news, so if I don't hear from them, it's good. If every somebody has to come in and say, hey, mike, you got to come with us Because we need to talk, then that means something bad has happened. Right, somebody called and something bad, right. So no news is good news. So I just tell myself that no news is good news, no news is good news.
Speaker 1:And you know, folks on breathing again, and then as my body starts, like you know, less Sweaty and clammy, and then like worried about like all this crazy stuff happening, and just yeah, bring it back to reality, bring it back to reality. You know, just focus on the breathing, focus on the breathing. And then you get then after the meditations over. They say come and talk to us if you want, blah, blah, blah, and I was like I'm good, it's just been crazy. And then you know, continue the day and we go back for the After separate meditation, which is the long one, like you do two hours, and then you watch a video and then another hour, so it's like almost three and a half or hours and yeah, just, I don't know, became like real, where I started entertaining in those thoughts and I Started getting worried like yeah, what if these things are happening? What if you know Somebody's robbing my house and holding my family captive? Or what if my wife died and my kids are alone and my oldest daughter can't reach me because, well, they have my cell phone and she doesn't know who to call. And you know, I'm just all these thoughts right, like it's weird how your ego just throws that at you and always seems to be like Negative thoughts. I Don't understand that, why it does that. I know I got to reread that book and then kind of like it's not a bad thing, okay, but it feels bad because you don't understand.
Speaker 1:I'm a visual thinker. So somebody tells me a story or joke, I Don't just hear it, I actually like it played in my mind, like it's actually playing in my mind, like I'm a visual thinker, as they say so, visual talker. So like if you ask me directions, I'll give you directions how to get somewhere and I'll see it in my mind and map it out as I'm doing it. Right, it's just I don't know. It's like I got photographic memory. Some people say I'd be great for counting cards. But yeah, I got a good memory and I'm a visual thinker.
Speaker 1:So like, not only like, is it just my ego saying these things? If I entertain it it becomes almost like a movie or something like playing in my head, like the stage is set in my head Right and I'm in my head and then if I'm entertaining that negativity, it starts playing the, playing it, and I'm gonna start oh man, it's just so hard. I Like I don't know if I sound crazy or anything, but like I'll try it and my ego and that, and it was getting hard and I'm even like, started worrying, like maybe I'm going crazy. I like, no, I just push it away. Push away, no news is good, no news is good news because I haven't. You know like I, I travel a lot, I'm gone a lot, but I'm able to call or text or check it out my family, check it on my wife, right, I'm just, you know, always, I don't know like if it's just me or from just Subconsciously, a negative thinker or the ego is like that for everybody. But from my experience in talking to people and Reading these books and stuff, where no Happening to a lot of people like you got a program here, you go and partner with it, like this is where the story is going. But I just gotta lead up to the story. But yeah, it was this.
Speaker 1:The second day was hard, after supper, I didn't, you know, like you couldn't tell, but I was starting to get like almost sad. And now I'm just like Thinking like I'm gonna tap out. No, it's only been two and a half days, I'm gonna tap out. And then right away I start thinking like oh, was your wife gonna think she'd be disappointed in you? And and you know, like you know, don't, don't, don't tap out. Like the ego is going opposite. Now I'm trying to keep me there. It's kind of weird.
Speaker 1:And then I was like cool, like, and then, you know, I would think like if you stay and do the ten days when your wife shows up, show, run into your arms, give you a big Hugging, a kiss, and you could twirl around and all your kids would be like daddy, you're my hero, you know stuff like that. So I'm like, okay, I could do this, I could do this, right. And then I go back to my room, look at the spider, like please don't come in here, don't eat me and I kind of like close the curtain, like a name is to spider, and I got into my bed and then my mind starts going crazy again and I'm just getting like, just getting sad, like what you know. And at first I was like I'm doing this to impress my wife, because she's done this twice. I'm doing it to impress her, right?
Speaker 1:Well, day three rolled around and that morning I Just stayed in bed and tell you can hear the ding for breakfast, because if you don't eat breakfast, man, you there's no snack time, there's no nice, and and then you go and now you don't actually get supper anymore. Supper is more Just like a snack, like fruit now, and a drink, that's it. So you only eat really breakfast and lunch and then you kind of get a snack. But if you've done this before, you don't even get the snack Because I for supper just get like a coffee, that's it. So I was one of the lucky ones that I could do house Nick, have a banana and an apple, drink my milk water, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I didn't feel like meditating and I looked at the spider start having a like hey, mr Spider, thanks for not coming in and biting my face off. Just imagine if you wake up and see that crawl on your blankets. Man, it's big. Look it up, google it right now. You know, wolf spider, female wolf spiders, those are bigger it's. I'm not even exaggerating it. I, if I had my phone, I would have took a picture and posted it my social media page. And you guys be like oh, my god, that's just big. Yes, it was a big, creepy spider, I'm not exaggerating.
Speaker 1:And then I hear knock on my door, just before breakfast actually, and I open the door and the guy I was there like hey, just checking in. Um, you know how's it going. I'm like oh, it's going all right, you know meditating. Well, he's like how about your spider situation? So I showed him, I pulled the curtain over and show him the spider and he was like whoa, that's a big spider. Yep, that is a big spider. And he's like oh, because I was at this point I like I'm like I don't want to be out here, no more, I'm mine just going nuts. I need to. I want to be inside with everybody else, have my own bathroom, be able to shower, because I'm used to show every day Anyway. So I was like yeah, it's going okay, you know he's like it's. It gets hard, it gets hard, but like it's worth it. You know, trust me, it's worth, it's worth it. And then I was like cool, and then that was it.
Speaker 1:So I went for breakfast, go to the morning, meditation and my ego mind just start going crazy again and thinking of all this craziness. And I'm trying not to let it affect me, but it's hard, because what you always think, like what if my ego's right? What if there is something crazy happening right now? What if this, what if that? And then I'm like me, maybe, yeah, maybe, there's a little bit of truth and what my ego is trying to tell me. And, and it was hard, I was literally felt like a zombie for day three and I'm just gonna stay around day three and talk to you a little bit about some experiences and then we'll end it and then we'll We'll talk about day four and five on the next podcast, the next episode. But I Was just going through the motions, I didn't care for breakfast. I remember I think I skipped breakfast on day three, just zombie.
Speaker 1:And On day zero there's this one guy and he's that we were talking, we're all talking, and one guy was like I've done this twice and all like this is my second time. This is awesome. Blah, blah, blah. Another guy shows up and he almost looks like a guy from a famous movie, like in a movie called can hardly wait. Yeah, it looks like somebody famous, but I don't know. And no, everybody. The guy one.
Speaker 1:A guy turns around, looks like this whole times. Have you done this? He goes. I don't know it's how long have you been doing this? As long as I can remember, he goes. I do this all the time, like you know. And and the guy's already bare feet and just look, you know I guess he belonged to like a monk and Stuff like that. So I call him what's that word? Npc Cuz. Like every time I see them he's just Going from one place doing like just no motion, no, nothing, like he must have done this a hundred times, I don't, but he's remember, he's. I start.
Speaker 1:My ego started telling me like hey man, if you do this full ten-day thing, you might end up like him and you might lose your mind and go crazy, and then you're gonna sit here and he's gonna go, oh, and you won't even know what date is, what year it is, and maybe he's trapped in here and like maybe we should ask him to blink of any talp, and I'm like whoa, oh God, this is nuts. I like throughout the rest of my journey, like you might hear me referring to him mr MPC. But yeah, mr MPC man, he would like I always. He was always there, meditating, is always on time, just Doing the motions like and yeah, I just started picturing him like maybe just an MPC. He's broken down to be here, doesn't know anything. But yeah, he was mr MPC. I miss you, mr MPC. I Wonder if you're still there. We just live there.
Speaker 1:But yeah, so in a nutshell, I started realizing, like, after you know those books with Michael a singer and Dr Spence, I had like the ego, it's a real struggle to keep it quiet and how starts to go crazy. And and In the book for the Surrender experiment, no untethered soul by Michael a singer talks about how he tried to like shut it up and try to like lock it away and tell you know, don't talk, don't do this, don't do that, don't do that right, and how you know spoiler alert how he starts realizing throughout the book that that's not the way to do it, that your ego is actually your ally, but it's just been programmed. It seems, to listen my case to be mr Negative. Mr, you know, keep me in check, right? If I'm like, oh, puppies and rainbows in my brain is like, hey, check, you know, reality check. Nothing's puppies and rainbows, but it really can be. You know, you hear all the time how the you know when you get rich, and you know your whole life You're trying to get rich. And then when you reach the richness, and how money just flows and blah, blah, blah, right. And you hear all these different people talk like that, how like easy it is to just get more wealth when you have wealth, and so on and so forth, right, and how it just keeps on attracting, attracting, attracting, because now they're not worried about it. And Like you hear some of my talks, some of my episodes that like, if you're chasing some, well, I'm chasing you, you're gonna run away, so stop chasing and then things will just come your way and happen. But you, this 10 day retreat so far, by day three, I'm realizing it's a lot harder than I expected. And at this point, by the end of day three, I'm thinking like I'm going nuts. So I go to talk to the one guy. I'm like, hey, I gotta check in. He's like okay, and I'm like am I going crazy? He's like what do you mean? I'm like my mind's going nuts. He goes yeah, that's the ego, that's why you're here. He goes.
Speaker 1:Before I became one of the leading persons for the meditations, I was just a student, like you, and I've done it a few times. And he goes I want to leave. It was hard. He goes. I made it to like day eight. I'm still ready to like leave, right, and you're only day three. He goes you're advancing faster and this is harder than most people their first time Like it's like you're already connected to yourself or to the universe or whatever, right.
Speaker 1:I said, yeah, you know, I read a lot and I study a lot and I practice different meditation techniques, and this is a new one and my wife really recommended it and goes yeah, so the whole point of this meditation, which is derived from Buddha meditation, is to overcome and to connect to your ego where it's not controlling you, where it's your partnership or whatever right. And I'm like well, why does it go so crazy? And he's like look, he goes. Don't worry, you're not crazy. If I thought you're crazy, I'll kick you out of the study. I'm like study, no, but he didn't say study, but kick you out of the program.
Speaker 1:I was like, okay, he goes. No, you're doing good. Like you're, after the 10 days, you'll be a whole new person. Like you got this, don't worry, man. And I'm like, okay, I got this right. And he was like everything that you're buying is telling you is just nothing to worry about it. Like it's just screaming because I want attention or wants you to be busier, because we're normally really busy people in this world. Right, we always got something to go, I mean, on my desk right here. I got my MacBook, my iPad, my phone. I got all these devices here, right, and some of them were going off. So I don't know if you heard them, but people are texting me, people are trying to call me, but it is what it is. But, yeah, I realized that the day three I still had seven more days to go was gonna be hard and I figured, if I can make it to day five and the end of day five, day six will be so much easier, right, and I'm just giving myself these day by day goals.
Speaker 1:And there's one point on day three where I had to get up and leave, and I couldn't control myself and I cried Like I just couldn't control. I was crying, my mind was just releasing and crying, and crying, and crying. And this was before I talked to the guy and it was confusing Because it was good enough for me and other people who were laughing. You know how, horaow, they say to me, come down on unspeakable, and I scream Because not like I was talking to someone and I'm talking to them. My feelings, you know, my other brother, my brother, my dad or whatever, be like hey, you want, you want a reason to cry, I'll give you a reason to cry. Stop crying for nothing. You know, bottle it man up, right, and that's what I was told a lot of my life. So I didn't cry much.
Speaker 1:Um, as an adult I don't cry, and I just couldn't help it. I just it just released and apparently it's a good thing to release. So I haven't at all balled it up. So I just cried and cried and cried for a bit and then that night, after I talked to the guy, I went to my room and and that night was hard, um, anything I heard outside was like oh, something's, something's going to come and you know, get me, or that spider's going to come and get me, or I'm going to wake up and there's going to be a mouse gnawing on my feet, or just you know, I really didn't want to be there. I'm like I got to run, I got to get out of here, I got to run, but you know, I just you know willpower and I'm just going to stay and ignore and happy thoughts try to think of happy thoughts and stuff like that. Yeah, this, uh.
Speaker 1:You know, when I tell the story to my friends and stuff, I try to make it sound funny and jokey and stuff, but it's hard, it was hard, um, and this is only day three. So at this point I'm learning that, you know, which is a good thing that I'm learning faster and the whole point of this meditation is to release all that negative energy, just throw it out and just let back in positivity and the positive energy and just be. You know, all you can be and that's what I want to be. It's just, mr Happy, mr Positive. I'm always positive.
Speaker 1:You know, when I talk to people and you know, look at the bright side. You know somebody hit my truck while, like you know, you got to better. You know my truck would get fixed and stuff like that, right. And then you go we'll be like, well, it's going to take him so long, you got to fight with insurance and your premium was going to go up and all this stuff, right. And then it's got to be like, okay, release that and just be happy, yeah, it's. Uh, it was an interesting time. So that's day three. So the next episode I'm going to talk a little bit more about uh day four and five and then we'll take it from there for the episodes and then we'll, you know, see how it goes and talk about different things. I'm learning, but this summer I did learn a lot of amazing stuff and met a lot of amazing people, and I hope to bring more people on uh the episodes to interview and talk with people, just so you can hear their stories and their journey throughout life.
Speaker 1:And this is what the whole podcast is about. It's about you. It's about bringing everybody as a collective like just happy, joy and just positivity, because it is all about you. You are in control of your life. We're always told we're not, but you are in control. You are the power to choose what's going on in your life, if you want positivity or negativity. If you're a negative person, a lot of negative stuff are going to happen to you, just like if I entertained all those crazy thoughts up to this point, I'd be so sad and depressed and I was, you know, getting sad. But it's up to you if we're going to let that happen or if we're going to see the positivity and look for the good things in life and stuff like that and just live your best life.
Speaker 1:Live in the moment is what we're all achieving and this is what I'm trying to achieve and I'm talking about my journey as I get there and, you know, like to hear some of your journeys, but I am literally just trying to live in the moment and to live my best life and I hope, like people that have listened to the podcast, can enjoy it and, you know, learn and if you already know this stuff and kind of reaffirm what you've already know in your heart and just reaffirm it that you know alone.
Speaker 1:We are all in this together and, yeah, I am a work in progress and it does take one day to try to achieve our goals and I love making this podcast and I hope you guys enjoy it, love making this podcast and just share with your friends, share with your family, share with the people that you feel would benefit. Because I never thought in my life where I'd be running a podcast talking about the law of attraction, because I used to think it was crazy. But until I started experimenting with it and testing it and applying it to my life, and what works, what doesn't work, it's amazing what the universe can open, what doors will open for you. I do want you to know that I do love each and every one of you. I might not know you personally, but if we could just have positive energy and just release into the world and just bring us so much more happiness to this world, it will be so much better and that you are important. We are all in this. Together, we're a collective creator of our universe and of our world and of our reality. Let's make it happy, let's make it the best one and just enjoy life.
Speaker 1:So stay tuned for the next episode. Thank you very much for listening and putting up with this not so positive, I guess, vibes that I'm putting out today. But this is just getting somewhere. It's going to get really interesting. So stay tuned for the next episodes. I do appreciate you. I love you, I love you.