Growing Up Mormon: Rules, Youth Camps, And The Pressure To Be Perfect

What happens when the world you grew up in gives you a map for every milestone—then you realize the map no longer fits? We open up about our Mormon upbringing with honesty and humor, exploring the rules we followed, the lines we crossed, and the community that shaped us more than any Sunday service ever could.

We look back at language taboos, youth camps, EFY, and the small signals—Coke cans, quiet books, spotless appearances—that communicated who was “worthy.” Mike shares what it felt like to be the “rebel” by church standards, while Krista talks about the pull of perfection and why swearing for the first time felt like breaking gravity. Together we unpack repentance as ritual, the social weight of tithing, and how missions, temple marriage, and big families set a path so clear you could walk it with your eyes closed.

There’s love here for what worked: real belonging, service, and a shared purpose that made scattered towns feel like home. There’s also candor about pressure—especially on women—to look serene, keep kids still, and carry the ideal homemaker banner without dropping it. We trace how fear crept in through constant vigilance—celebrating spiritual highs while bracing for a fall—and how that mindset bled into our marriage. Then we talk about leaving: why it hurt, what we kept, and how trading certainty for curiosity gave us room to breathe.

If faith, identity, and community have ever pulled you in two directions, this story will feel close. Press play, then tell us your turning point—when did your life script change? Subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review to help others find the show.

Transcript

Setting The Stage: Mormon Upbringing

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Hi, welcome to another episode of Life Changers. And this is Mike.

SPEAKER_01 0:05

And this is Krista.

SPEAKER_00 0:07

And we're back. So yeah, we're going to continue. So I guess what? We were like teenagers, young adults now.

SPEAKER_01 0:14

Well, we didn't really go like in a timeline of telling stories.

SPEAKER_00 0:18

So we were Mormon.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

Yes. That's our story.

SPEAKER_00 0:21

That's our story. So we were good Mormons, no alcohol, no Well, you were a perfect Mormon.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

I guess yeah, you had tried alcohol.

SPEAKER_00 0:31

Yeah. That's the way it is in Quebec. When you're young, I guess. So yeah, like I broke some of the rules. You'd never really broken any of the rules.

SPEAKER_01 0:41

I had never even sworn in my entire life.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

Never sworn at all.

SPEAKER_01 0:46

Never.

SPEAKER_00 0:46

Until you met me.

SPEAKER_01 0:47

Not even until I met you. No, until we left the church.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Really? You haven't said like shit or fuck?

SPEAKER_01 0:53

No. No. Wow. Those words had never left my mouth. It felt so unnatural. The very first time I swore, it felt so weird.

SPEAKER_00 1:01

Is it weird to me that it was kind of hot when she was like, I'm like, yeah, baby, swear some more.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

He still really likes it though.

SPEAKER_00 1:08

Still really likes it.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

I use it to my advantage.

SPEAKER_00 1:13

Yes. That's our foreplay. Swearing and showing your ankles.

SPEAKER_01 1:21

No, no. Showing my toes right there. You never get to see my feet. I always have socks on.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

No, I know, but people think like as Mormons, it's like Amish, right? That's the joke. But yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:31

I get the joke.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

But now you know she doesn't take her socks off when I see her feet. But I don't have a foot fetish, so I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_04 1:39

Well.

Perfection, Rebellion, And Language Taboos

SPEAKER_00 1:41

Anywho. And you say I go off the rails.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

I did not say anything like that.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

What did you call it off the air? My trains?

SPEAKER_01 1:51

Your tangents?

SPEAKER_00 1:52

No, you said like your train, you go off on your train tangents. I forgot it. That was funny. Anyway. Okay. So yeah, she was the perfect Mormon. And I was like the rebel. I broke some rules.

SPEAKER_01 2:05

You weren't that bad.

SPEAKER_00 2:06

No, but in Mormon standards, you know. You know, Utah standards.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

I mean, compared to me.

SPEAKER_00 2:12

Right? Drinking Coca-Cola. Oh, I am a gangster.

SPEAKER_01 2:15

Swearing up a snorm when I wasn't around. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:18

Yeah. I didn't think swearing was a bad thing. It's going to send me to hell. Did you actually think it was going to send you to hell?

SPEAKER_01 2:24

It's just I felt that it was like inappropriate and hurtful, I guess. That's what we were taught. That it's like a hurt, those are hurtful words. You don't say those words.

SPEAKER_00 2:33

Oh, I just thought we'd go to hell. I'm like, whatever, I'm going to hell. So yeah. So she was good. And like, I guess porn's not really an addiction for women.

SPEAKER_01 2:45

I was not at all. No.

SPEAKER_00 2:47

So I guess that's more for men. So like I I would say in the church, like there's a lot of dudes that have probably been or are addicted to porn. It's like you're told no your whole life. So what happens when somebody says no to you?

SPEAKER_01 2:59

You want to do it?

SPEAKER_00 3:00

Exactly. So when they're like, no, you can't do this. No, you can't do that. Of course you're like, you're gonna be like a little rebel. But I guess not everybody's as perfect as you. Putting her up on a pedestal so she falls even higher. Father, farther.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Yeah. Oh, I fell pretty far.

Repentance Culture And Fast Sunday

SPEAKER_00 3:17

So yeah, so like I guess like I live the typical life, right, in the Mormon world where I broke some rules. You have to repent. Right? You gotta say I'm sorry and talk to the bishop or the branch president to repent your sins. And people cry a lot in the Mormon church. And I'm sure in our last episode we talked about Fast Sunday, so we have to give a little recap about that. So what is Fast Sunday?

SPEAKER_01 3:46

Where you don't eat for an entire what, twenty it's supposed to be twenty-four hours.

SPEAKER_00 3:50

Yeah, so t technically it's supposed to be Saturday, you skip supper, and then you eat supper again on Sunday. And what's the purpose of it? Do you remember? It's only been ten years. Oh what was it? Nine years.

SPEAKER_01 4:02

I think to like cleanse yourself a little bit to be able to be closer to God.

SPEAKER_00 4:07

Nope.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

Oh. It was a wild guess.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

You just pulled out of here, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 4:12

What was it for?

SPEAKER_00 4:14

Um it's for just like to give donate the money to the poor.

SPEAKER_01 4:20

Okay, but that was like the reason like that's what you did.

SPEAKER_00 4:23

Yeah, the money you would have spent from food.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

Like food.

SPEAKER_00 4:33

Wow, that would be a good one. To get closer to God.

SPEAKER_01 4:38

It wasn't just to like give money because you didn't buy food that day.

SPEAKER_00 4:41

Like, well, yeah, they tell you to like donate the money.

SPEAKER_01 4:43

Yeah, that's part of it as well, but it's not the purpose of it.

SPEAKER_00 4:46

That's what I thought of to give money to poor people.

SPEAKER_01 4:51

Did it go to your family?

SPEAKER_00 4:52

Yeah, it did. Did it go to yours?

SPEAKER_01 4:54

No.

SPEAKER_00 4:55

No, see, the church doesn't give money as easy as people think. Like, so there there's some like I had some eye-openers when I was the branch president, like the bishop, the one in charge.

SPEAKER_01 5:04

I don't think we had told them that yet.

SPEAKER_00 5:06

Didn't we?

SPEAKER_01 5:07

That you were the branch president? Oh, maybe we did.

SPEAKER_00 5:10

Uh I don't know. Well, I was. I was the for four years. I was the branch president.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

Okay, but that's later in the story.

SPEAKER_00 5:16

Well, we're kind of just telling our where we are, like what we believed, pretty much. So, like, yeah, okay, one point okay, fine. Guess I'm getting ahead of myself. But fine.

SPEAKER_01 5:30

Were you talking about Fast Sunday? Yeah. Or was that over? That tangent is done.

SPEAKER_00 5:35

Yes, that tangent's over. So yeah, so we grew up Mormon. So for we if for you who maybe Googled it since our last episode, you learn a little bit more. Um but yeah, so that's where we were. So we thought we knew everything, we thought we owned everything. Like we own the world in a sense, because like we knew everything. I don't that's the way I saw it. I saw like the world was my oyster. It was my world because like I had the full truth. The fullness of the gospel. And everybody else only had parts.

SPEAKER_01 6:06

Those words when you say them were kind of like triggering almost.

SPEAKER_00 6:09

What do you mean triggering?

SPEAKER_01 6:10

When you say like the fullness of the gospel, it just like brings not angry, no, not at all. Just brings me back to those years, like of church. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:18

Yeah. It's it's weird because you gotta understand it was not just a like going to church on Sunday. This is like a way of life.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

This is our entire life.

SPEAKER_00 6:28

This is our DNA type of thing almost, you know what I mean? Like we were the first generation born into the gospel. We're special.

unknown 6:36

Oh yeah, we are.

SPEAKER_01 6:37

I mean, it it was special. It was a good way to be raised. Like we had a good time.

SPEAKER_00 6:43

There's a lot of good times. Like they had good youth programs. Like uh they had like young women, young men. So young men, you know, ages twelve to seventeen, like we go to camps and stuff and we do different activities. It was fun. We did kayak canoeing, kayaking a lot. Young women do the same thing, they have their own activities and bond with each other.

SPEAKER_01 7:01

Yeah, pretty awesome camps.

SPEAKER_00 7:03

Yeah. And I and I remember something called uh what was it? Youth Conference. They had like we had a youth conference every year where it's like the whole district of stake, you know. So where I grew up, there's like French steak, English steak, Spanish steak, Chinese steaks, and then like we would all get together with the youth and have like big conferences. But then every now and again there's a big conference where people from Toronto would come to Quebec or we'd meet them somewhere in Ontario. Have you ever been to any of those?

SPEAKER_01 7:29

I remember like one big one that I went to, but with a cruise ship?

SPEAKER_00 7:33

No. Were they rented a ship?

SPEAKER_01 7:35

No, we rented at like a high school. Not a high school, like uh a college, and we all got to sleep in like the dorms or something.

SPEAKER_00 7:41

Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Yeah, I remember the biggest one we did was the cruise ship in Kingston, Ontario. They're on the Thousand Islands, so they rented a big boat. It's like not a huge cruise ship, like, you know, twenty thousand people, but like thousands of kids, and there's like dance, DJs, food, and everything. It was fun.

Missions, Marriage, And Big Families

SPEAKER_01 7:57

Yeah, in the Mormon Church, you're definitely encouraged to marry within the Mormon church. So I think it's kind of on purpose that they have all these youth activities so that the youth, you know, get to know each other and then marry each other, essentially.

SPEAKER_00 8:10

Yeah. And the guys have to go serve a mission for two years first and save up your ten thousand dollars to do that. Yeah. Then you donate it and go.

SPEAKER_01 8:17

They don't have to. They can though.

SPEAKER_00 8:19

Well, you don't have to, but it's encouraged. Because so Mormon stereotypes like of Utah and all that is like, you know, you have to go on a mission. If you don't go on a mission, you're a bad person, right? Is that the stereotypes? And in the religion in general, like not a bad person. As a young, not a bad person, but as like I remember hearing in youth class, like the young woman would be like, Yeah, I want a priesthood holder who goes on. Or a return missionary. Yes. Not a future. A return missionary. A return missionary. Yeah. So like it's interesting. Because like part of the story of how we met, like, is interesting too. That's gonna be our next episode. You're gonna wait for that one. Just give me a little teaser.

unknown 8:58

Oh god.

SPEAKER_00 8:59

But like, yeah, because you're encouraged to, you know, stay in the Mormon religion, be married in the Mormon religion, and continue the Mormon religion going and like try to get as many.

SPEAKER_01 9:09

And multiply and replenish the earth with your children.

SPEAKER_00 9:12

That's true. That's why I come from a big family.

SPEAKER_01 9:15

Yeah, me too.

SPEAKER_00 9:16

I think I mentioned that already. I got five sisters, three brothers, and then there's me. I'm number seven of nine.

SPEAKER_01 9:21

I'm also seven of nine.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

That's why we're perfect.

SPEAKER_01 9:26

Lucky number seven.

SPEAKER_00 9:27

Seven and seven. So we have to have seven kids. No. Oh crap. I don't want seven kids. I love my kids, not seven.

SPEAKER_01 9:34

No one else's.

SPEAKER_00 9:36

No, no, nothing else. No more. I can't give love anymore. But yeah, like so that's where we are in in that world, right? So for it to go to where we are today is like what I would say, like just totally polar opposite.

SPEAKER_01 9:54

Yes. In many ways, yeah. I mean, I would say we're still the same people, like in a sense, like we're still like kind, loving people. And I we were that back then as well. Like we're not different to like a whole sense, but our entire lives have definitely changed since then.

SPEAKER_00 10:12

So do you think we should talk about how we met in the church, or do you think we should just be the next episode gave them the teaser?

Tithing, Money Norms, And Expectations

unknown 10:19

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:20

So like what? Do I talk about the like house bishop?

SPEAKER_01 10:23

No, that's see, that's also after we met.

SPEAKER_00 10:26

So then tell me your perspective of your religion. Because you're you were perfect, girl. I was a bad boy. Had to repent a lot.

SPEAKER_01 10:34

I I never did.

SPEAKER_00 10:37

Miss Perfect over here. Um, like as a Mormon, you're also dedicated with your money too, in a sense. You have to give 10%. Not like you have to, but like it's encouraged.

SPEAKER_01 10:49

10%.

SPEAKER_00 10:49

10% of all your income pre-tax.

SPEAKER_01 10:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 10:54

That's what a lot of people that's the big discussion in the Mormon world. Is it pre-tax or after tax?

SPEAKER_01 10:58

I never paid taxes as a kid. Like I don't really remember it except for when I was a kid paying tithing. I guess we as an adult, you just paid our tithing. Yeah, I never really thought of it.

SPEAKER_00 11:09

Pre-tax.

unknown 11:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:15

But the bonus, okay, because you fill out a form and you hand it into the church and all that, they give you a tax receipt at the end of the year. So I guess that's a bonus. It's a good uh nonprofit organization to donate to, yeah. So yeah, that's where we are in our this is how it works in the studio. We just go with it, Krista. Okay. All I know is there's ten more minutes than I know we did a full episode. Okay. So yeah, being Mormon as a youth. That was fun.

SPEAKER_03 11:47

Mm-hmm.

EFY, Utah Culture, And Identity

SPEAKER_00 11:47

It was I think we like I think one of the coolest activities we've did, besides like that cruise, I would say. Actually, here's a fun fact. I went to something called um EFY. It's called Especially for Youth. And they had like big regional ones like in the US. And I ended up going to one of those in the US. And I was sixteen or seventeen then. Yeah. Anyways, and it was very cool. There's like thousands of and it's weird because you gotta understand where I grew up, there wasn't that many Mormons. Like it wasn't like Utah. Sorry, just burping up a storm. Okay. It's not like it's Utah where like there's a Mormon on every corner. So when I went to Utah for the first time, I remember like walking up to somebody, like I was like, I don't know, at a restaurant. And I'm like, Are you Mormon? They're like, Yeah. I'm like, me too. They're like, Yeah, so is everybody else. I'm like, oh. Because where I'm from, when you bump into a Mormon, they're like, yo, that's cool. It's like secret society, almost almost like the Freemasons. You know, you're going, What's up, eh? You know, EFY, especially for you. Or whatever, right?

SPEAKER_01 12:57

Mormons for life. We didn't have any stupid sayings like that.

SPEAKER_00 13:01

No, but we should. Or I guess they should.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

No, I just had my what would Jesus do bracelet.

SPEAKER_00 13:06

Oh, yeah. I remember those.

SPEAKER_01 13:08

I wore that everywhere. I had like ten of them on my arm. Just what would Jesus do? Those little WWJDs. I love those.

SPEAKER_00 13:15

Yeah. I even remember for a while that like the young men were wearing elastics, and every time they had a bad thought, impure thought or bad thing, they would flick their so like the pain would like stop you from your arm must have been really sore. Oh man. That's how I lost my hand. You're painting me to be a horrible Mormon.

SPEAKER_01 13:40

Well, I mean compared to me, you know.

SPEAKER_00 13:43

Compared to you, yes, everybody looks like a bad Mormon. But no, like for me, like you're making me look so horrible. Like, I was good. I became bishop.

SPEAKER_01 13:54

Yeah. Yes, you did, and that was quite the shock when that happened. But we'll go into that another episode.

SPEAKER_00 14:03

Leaving them hanging. Oh man.

SPEAKER_01 14:06

But weren't you talking about EFY?

SPEAKER_00 14:08

Yeah, I was talking about how oh yeah. Yeah, thanks for reminding me. Especially for you, thousands and thousands of kids. I mean, it was cool like to see how many like Mormons and like youth that think like you and act like you, I guess, in a sense.

SPEAKER_01 14:21

I think that was the best part of the community to have other people around you that believe the same as you and like you understand each other, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:30

Yeah. And it was very like uplifting, very cool, like not alone. Because yeah, I grew up in this province where Mormonism wasn't so big, right? I don't know where where you grew up, was there you a lot of Mormons?

SPEAKER_01 14:42

No. Just a small ward.

SPEAKER_00 14:45

I think you were probably like the only family in this. The only one in my home.

SPEAKER_01 14:48

Oh, there was a couple in my high school, but like we didn't we weren't like best friends or anything. No.

SPEAKER_00 14:53

Yeah, right? So like Yeah, it's it's different, I guess. I guess like peer pressure in Utah is like if you're not a Mormon and you go to like a school in Utah, the kids are like, hey man, did you read the Book of Mormon?

SPEAKER_02 15:06

No, what is that?

SPEAKER_00 15:07

Read the Book of Mormon if you want to be cool, man. And peer pressure for me was like, hey man, want some weed?

SPEAKER_02 15:14

No, I'm a Mormon.

SPEAKER_00 15:15

Here's a Coca-Cola.

SPEAKER_02 15:17

I can't.

Pressure To Be Perfect And Appearances

SPEAKER_00 15:19

And some people take that further, right? Because everybody assumes we don't drink coffee or tea or anything like that because of the caffeine. So some people are like, we can't have coffee crisp, we can't have chocolates, we can't have coke. We got then sometimes see Mormon drinking a Coke. You're like, I remember, like, my dad was like, no Coke, no this, no that, right? And I was at a young man's camp and I see the leader drinking a Coke, I'm like, oh, are we allowed to do this?

SPEAKER_01 15:43

It's between you and God.

SPEAKER_00 15:44

Do you have to repent after if I drink your cola?

SPEAKER_01 15:48

But swearing was okay. But those cokes were out of the question.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

Well, you know. Well, I I didn't swear all the time. Come on, that was You swore a lot. I did, but like as an adult when he met me, but like as a teenager, but like when I was 12, I wasn't going around like shit, fuck, bop. Well, I probably was actually peer pressure in high school. I wanted to be cool. Because you gotta understand in Quebec, high school starts in grade seven. So I'm 12 years old going to high school. So that's a lot of peer pressure from like 15, 16 year olds.

SPEAKER_01 16:19

So you had to sound cool and start swearing? Yeah, it's like when it started.

SPEAKER_00 16:23

Yeah. I guess I was like Bebis butthe.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

You still swear a lot, but now I don't care.

SPEAKER_00 16:30

But another teaser for you is how I guess I guess being in religion put a strain on our marriage, too.

SPEAKER_03 16:38

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 16:40

And we let you guys think about that because to figure out why you think that would be, because it should be we were perfect, right? We knew everything, stuff like that.

SPEAKER_01 16:48

Well, I think they can already tell the discrepancy between me and you.

SPEAKER_00 16:53

I'm not that bad, okay? In the Mormon world, I guess I was like Only in the Mormon world, yes. Yeah. But no, it was fun being in that community. And it is a community, it's a lifestyle. I remember having friends, even like adults I'm like as business partners as I got older, used to tell me, like, you know, you're in a cult and stuff like that. But like, I don't know if it's cultish. Know everything and you know where you're going. I guess. But what was the stress? What was the stress of being in their religion? What's the I guess we talked about all the positive things that we missed, maybe we're gonna go back.

SPEAKER_01 17:28

People are like, why did they ever leave? Sounds great. I'm gonna join Mormonism. We're just getting a following for Mormonism right now.

SPEAKER_00 17:37

You're welcome. And we're not sponsored by them either. Maybe they should if we're gonna start creating them followers.

SPEAKER_01 17:42

We're gonna start getting ads on our thing for Mormons. Don't click on the ads, guys.

SPEAKER_00 17:47

Yeah, don't click on them if you're getting Mormon ads. They're not paying me yet.

SPEAKER_01 17:54

Um what was the the stress?

SPEAKER_00 17:56

Um Yeah, like the stress of always I guess for you from being on the outside.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

Trying to be perfect.

SPEAKER_00 18:01

Yeah, trying to. Right?

Fear, Satan Narratives, And Control

SPEAKER_01 18:02

And I like I really did strive for perfection. Like that was my goal in life, to strive for that, to get to the celestial kingdom as the highest level of um of heaven, right?

SPEAKER_00 18:13

Yeah, celestial kingdom. In the Mormon In the Mormon world. You should look it up if you're not sure what we're talking about.

SPEAKER_01 18:17

See, now they're gonna start getting ads more for Mormonism.

SPEAKER_00 18:20

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 18:21

Now they're Googling it too.

SPEAKER_00 18:22

Sorry, guys. It is a I don't know, it is an interesting one.

SPEAKER_01 18:26

It's interesting to research it, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:28

But yeah, like I guess as I like you were a young woman in the religion and I was a man. So I it was different. Like I remember people saying, Oh, it's different. You know, it is different because I never, you know, realized how different it was till I became bishop.

SPEAKER_01 18:39

And how much harder is it for the girls?

SPEAKER_00 18:42

Not harder.

SPEAKER_01 18:44

I mean, the the pressure on you though to be perfect. Yeah. Right. And that's not to say like all Mormons like have that exact same pressure, but definitely I felt a lot of pressure there.

SPEAKER_00 18:56

Aaron Ross Powell And is there a lot of pressure, like even as we got older, or was there pressure of like keeping up with the Joneses type thing there? Like, oh, these are perfect Mormons, we're gonna be perfect too. Because in the Mormon world, like it's I bake from scratch, right?

SPEAKER_01 19:10

We're having a potluck, I made this from scratch, and we're like kids are always happy, always smiling at church.

SPEAKER_00 19:15

Did I remember how perfect it was actually with our first daughter? You made that book?

SPEAKER_01 19:21

The quiet book.

SPEAKER_00 19:22

The quiet book. Yeah. You spent so much time like and that's the thing, like in the Mormon culture, like you gotta be perfect, you gotta like the like the perfect housewife in a sense.

SPEAKER_01 19:29

Like it's not that they they say like you need to be the perfect housewife, it's just the pressure's there to be like the homemaker. Yeah, the homemaker, and have your family, you know, looking nice and ready for church and yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:44

It's embarrassing if your kid acts out. Yeah. Then I mean because I remember some people didn't care what their kids were doing, and you're like, tell your kid to stop it. And they're like, I don't care.

SPEAKER_02 19:52

Then there's other people like stop it, and they're embarrassing me.

SPEAKER_00 19:57

So yeah, and like it is like literally a different world. Because leaving it was like, wow, the world's a lot different than expected, because you're told so many things too.

SPEAKER_01 20:07

Yeah, you're you're not told directly, but you have this like belief that there's evil in the rest of the world. Right? Like not that the people are evil, but that there's evil I I don't know how to explain it.

SPEAKER_00 20:20

Like Well, if Satan's around every corner trying to seduce you, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 20:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:27

Where are you going with that?

Standards, Media, And Moral Hierarchies

SPEAKER_00 20:29

I was gonna go on a tangent about like something else, but never mind. So yeah, like in the in the world, I guess, like you gotta watch out, Satan's around every corner. Because I remember we always used to be like, oh, we had such a good uplifting spiritual moment in class. It's like everybody's like, wow, this is such a good day. And it's like there'll always be that comment of like, yeah, you gotta watch out though, you know, or they're you know, good. Satan's gonna be around the corner to drag you down because he doesn't like you feeling that way. And that was a lot of like creating, I guess, our own negative reality too, with that, right? And like always fearing of like, oh no, this is gonna happen. Oh, I gotta be careful, oh I had a good spiritual moment here now.

SPEAKER_01 21:06

Oh and you're always encouraged to like definitely marry within the church because you know, other people would just bring you down, right? In the worldly ways.

SPEAKER_00 21:15

Yeah, that's true. I've seen people that like where one person joined the church and his wife didn't, and how hard it was on the family.

SPEAKER_01 21:23

And it it would be hard on a marriage, right? Having one person in and one person out.

SPEAKER_00 21:27

Yeah. End up in divorce. But it's not encouraged in the Mormon world. But yeah, see, I hear statistics. I wish you'd Google that. Maybe you could Google it. But like I hear statistics that like Mormonism has like the highest rate of divorce.

SPEAKER_01 21:41

Really?

SPEAKER_00 21:41

Oh yeah, especially in Utah.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

I thought Mormons just stayed together because that's like part of the belief as well to stay together.

SPEAKER_00 21:47

We're old. Because nowadays people just get married to have sex and then they I think that's only in Utah. I don't think that's a real thing other than like I didn't hear about it until like later in life. Yeah. Like all this new new age stuff. But like even like today I was watching um these people like on YouTube, like those casino people I watch, dude luck, uh 23 and Lady Luck, whatever, on YouTube. Like I watch them a little bit, and he was mentioning, like, oh, you know, this is like a Utah party. No, this is this casino machine is so dry, it's like a Utah party. And then this other guy was like talking about what is it, what did they say? He says, Yeah, not even soaking over here.

SPEAKER_01 22:27

I don't think that's a real thing either.

SPEAKER_00 22:30

Apparently it is, because it's a stereotype and people are talking about it. That's been to Utah.

SPEAKER_01 22:34

Okay, but do you know anyone who's done it?

SPEAKER_00 22:36

No, because I don't ask people. It's just weird.

SPEAKER_04 22:40

I know you're on a mission, but have you ever soaking away.

SPEAKER_00 22:49

Right? Like, I don't know, people that find ways to so this is where I was. People that were like saying, Oh, gosh darn it, freak you, right? Being good Mormons, right? Like that, you know. I just figured like the meaning behind it, the hatred behind it's still the same. So why not just say fuck you?

SPEAKER_01 23:06

I never use those like cut two terms.

Community Strengths And Why Leaving Hurt

SPEAKER_00 23:08

Like I never thought about like getting married just to have sex, to get divorced, to stay within the Mormon law. Because like even BYU, if you're like even their star basketball player or football player or whatever team they have in Utah, and like you screw up and like sleep with somebody and you're not married, they kick you out of the school, lose your scholarship and everything. Like they're intense.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

High standards.

SPEAKER_00 23:32

High standards.

SPEAKER_01 23:33

And I guess that that's how we kind of felt is that we had high standards. That's like our belief was that we were we had high standards because we wanted to, you know, go to the highest kingdom. So you have to have high standards and be a good person.

SPEAKER_00 23:45

Yeah, it's true, because I remember seeing a a photo going around because like the Mormon have their own magazines, like teenager magazines and stuff. Yeah, the new era.

SPEAKER_01 23:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:54

Yeah. It's all coming to me. My sister was in that.

SPEAKER_01 23:57

The Liahona?

SPEAKER_00 23:58

And there's a Liahona, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 24:00

And the new era was for teenagers.

SPEAKER_01 24:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 24:02

Yeah. And then there's one for like like uh preschool kids as well. Like more I think that was the Liahona one, maybe. There's some for adults, the new era for teenagers, and there's one for kids. But yeah, my sister was in the new era.

SPEAKER_03 24:15

Exciting.

SPEAKER_00 24:15

Yeah. But uh where's it going with that? Oh yeah, and in that era they they used to make posters and sayings. And like I remember they even Mormons have their own TV shows, their own commercials, anyways. And the saying was like, don't be uh of the world.

SPEAKER_01 24:30

Or no, don't be in live in the world, but not of the world.

SPEAKER_00 24:34

Yeah, they had that one. But they say like live above the rest. Like there's all these regular balloons and there's a blue balloon higher. Yeah. You know, strive for higher than the rest or something. Like, yeah, and I guess yeah, you brought that a good point. Like how, yeah, I'm better than everybody and this is the way it is, and that's all there is to it.

SPEAKER_01 24:51

Well, no, not that.

SPEAKER_00 24:52

Okay, that's wrong. But like that we're higher society.

SPEAKER_01 24:55

No, just we strive to be our best. That's essentially what Mormons encouraged, right? Be your best self.

SPEAKER_00 25:02

Be your best. I'm not gonna sing that.

SPEAKER_01 25:06

What?

SPEAKER_00 25:06

You don't know that song?

SPEAKER_01 25:08

I don't think you had the song right.

SPEAKER_00 25:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:10

Be our guest? Oh, that's be our guest. Be our best.

SPEAKER_00 25:15

Oh man, it's getting too late. Anywho. Yes, be our guest. Let's do the rest. It's been a while since I've seen that movie.

SPEAKER_02 25:28

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 25:28

Yeah, so thanks for sticking with us for our tangents. But that's just like of where we were and how we felt. And it's just the reason why we tell you all these stories and like bringing you back, you know. It's not we're not promoting the you know, the Mormons, we're not hating on the Mormons. It's just our journey ended up in a different place. Because like in the Mormon church, you're always encouraged to pray and listen to God and you know what would Jesus do on your like your bracelets and and like gotta be your best self and always strive to be like the best you can be, right? And as a Mormon, you know, we don't steal, we don't cheat, we don't lie, we're honest people. And you know, a lot of people say, Yeah, like I would hire Mormon to work because like I know they're I would I would now even like they're very trustworthy, good people.

SPEAKER_01 26:14

Yeah.

From Certain Path To Open Future

SPEAKER_00 26:15

I'm not saying nobody else is. But it's just like it's kind of a nod, like, yeah, like if you are a temple recommend holder in the Mormon church and an adult as an adult, then generally you should be a a good person. Yeah. Because it it's jumping through a lot of hoops to get to that point in life. So yeah, so and then it you'll see how where we went with our journey and how hard it was for us to leave.

SPEAKER_01 26:38

To leave that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:39

To leave all of it.

SPEAKER_01 26:40

Because like you can see, like it it's an amazing like community to grow up in.

SPEAKER_00 26:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:44

Like there was no negatives in that sense.

SPEAKER_00 26:46

No, it's a good community, and if you're looking for community now, you're encouraging the Mormon church. Join the Life Changers by listening to our podcast.

SPEAKER_01 26:55

We'll make our own church, guys.

SPEAKER_00 26:56

Yeah. There is a church called Life Changers, but that's not me, guys. Just let me know.

SPEAKER_01 27:01

Everybody looks like the Life Changer Church is not me.

SPEAKER_00 27:05

We should start our own. Called just be your best self. Life Changers Mike and Krista.

SPEAKER_01 27:11

That would be so weird.

SPEAKER_00 27:13

It would be. It would be because everybody's looking for a sense of belonging. But no, it was good for that. But yeah, and then how we changed our whole life and flipped the script. And how everything's different. Because going from knowing everything, not everything, but you thought you knew everything and thought you knew what the plan was. The Mormons had it like a plan. This is your plan. You know, go get become, you know, go for me, go on a mission, come back, find the perfect girl, get married, have the perfect family, and continue serving God. That's it.

SPEAKER_01 27:41

And get to the celestial kingdom.

SPEAKER_00 27:42

And get to the celestial kingdom, which I wasn't helping you in there. I took you down a couple notches. But that's for another story. So thank you very much for listening. I hope you guys are enjoying the podcast. Please like share it with people. Let's get this podcast out and going. And once again, this is Life Changers, and I'm Mike.

SPEAKER_01 27:57

And this is Krista.

SPEAKER_00 27:58

Thank you very much. Have a good one.