Do You Want a Floor Muffin?

We celebrate a whirlwind first year of marriage, laugh our way through a five-second-rule debate, and a "car" purchase from a vending machine.  

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Thanks for listening!

-Josh & Hannah

The Collide Kids Podcast is a FUN and UNIQUE show for kids and families where we learn how life and faith COLLIDE!

Transcript

Welcome, Muffin Mayhem Setup

SPEAKER_05 0:00

Here's what to expect on this week's episode of the River Morning Show weekly podcast. This sweet coffee shop barista comes out of the kitchen with like a tray of hot, fresh muffins. So I see her put them up on the glass counter so she can put them into the display. Yeah. And the one on the very end, it just teeters. It starts to rock. Slow motion. I'm putting my hand out.

SPEAKER_03 0:25

Where thank you for pressing play on this podcast. You can find more when you click on demand at river radio.com. Hannah, you were down for the count sum this week.

SPEAKER_05 0:39

Oh, yeah, the flu got me.

SPEAKER_03 0:41

The flub.

SPEAKER_05 0:42

So gross. Uh yeah, but I'm alive. She's made it.

SPEAKER_03 0:45

I wanted to know just how are you feeling now? Because currently we have plenty of distance between the two of us across these uh these tables here, and that's a good thing because I don't want to live.

First-Year Marriage Milestones

SPEAKER_05 0:56

Don't you dare one year in, and your mind can't even compute all that has happened. My husband, Chris, and I just celebrated our very first wedding anniversary. Congratulations. Thank you. And the first year went so fast, but also so much happened. It feels like we've lived a lifetime. You know, it's crazy. Yep. We got married last February and went to Jamaica. In March, we adopted our sweet kitty cat, Fish. It hasn't even been a year with him. In April, we lost my best friend of 11 years, my pup Murphy. Yeah. And God knew I would need Chris when that happened. He was my rock. We went to Myrtle Beach with his family, Michigan with mine. We traveled to Europe for two weeks and then came home and immediately adopted Bear, our dog.

SPEAKER_03 1:46

You do realize all the other years aren't gonna be this far.

Lessons From Year One Of Marriage

SPEAKER_05 1:48

I don't know. It's so crazy. Chris is like three-fourths of the way finished with finishing our basement. I have the nursery almost done. Oh, because by the way, we found out we were expecting our first baby. And that's just the big stuff. Like, oh my word. Along the way, so many lessons were learned. You do a lot of learning in your first year of marriage. And I would love to hear what fun, chaotic, real lessons you learned in your first year of marriage.

SPEAKER_03 2:19

Oh, that is such a great question.

SPEAKER_05 2:21

Call or text 800-609-1049. Are you ready for this? I can't wait.

SPEAKER_03 2:28

I cannot wait. What is a lesson that you learned?

SPEAKER_05 2:32

Oh, I've got a handful. Yeah. In my first year of marriage, I learned that snacks are no longer safe. I'm not very good at backing out of the garage. That sitting by the fire pit, even though I hate bugs, is important. Uh-huh. That mice know not to get into a ziploc bag of squirrel feed if you write no mice on the front, according to my husband. I want to try that with my garage. No mice. That my water bottle just magically fills up when married. That budgeting is much harder when there's two people involved. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:08

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_05 3:08

Oh my goodness. That a whole day on the couch watching movies is quality time. Yes. Considered quality time.

SPEAKER_03 3:15

You don't even have to talk to each other.

SPEAKER_05 3:17

Just be there. No. And finally, that doing life with your best friend is one of the hardest, but the most fun and beautiful, God bless things that you are able to do. And I am so thankful for every minute of this past year. One year down.

SPEAKER_04 3:33

Congrats.

SPEAKER_05 3:34

Forever to go. That is a lifetime of learning all crammed into a year. And that's what's so like scary and awesome. Is like so much more to come, right? So many more lessons. So I'd love to hear what lesson you learned if you remember, if it was a couple years ago, or maybe you're a newlywed-ish as well. Call or text 800-609-1049. Marriage is such a blessing. It is so much fun. And it's also really hard and chaotic and messy.

SPEAKER_03 4:06

There's the butt. I knew there was a butt coming.

SPEAKER_05 4:08

But this is tough. Which means through it all, you have the opportunity to learn so much along the way. My husband and I just celebrated our very first wedding anniversary.

SPEAKER_03 4:20

Congratulations.

SPEAKER_05 4:22

And I mean, we learned things from like who's better at backing out of the garage, not me.

SPEAKER_03 4:28

You learned how long it takes um a deer head to get all of the meats.

SPEAKER_05 4:34

Yeah. How long you have to put a deer head in the ground so the bugs just Yeah, well, that's a thing. I forgot I learned that. Thanks for that reminder.

SPEAKER_03 4:41

You are welcome.

Listener Lessons: Presence Over Distraction

SPEAKER_05 4:42

But also to how important it is to just spend time with one another, even if it's something you don't love. Chris loves doing bonfires in our backyard. I hate bugs. So, but it it means so much to him, and I love being with him and supporting him through it. So you just do it and you grow closer together because of it. So, what is that thing you learned in your first year or two of marriage? Call or text 800-609-1049. Producer Mike, I know some friends have been texting in. What are some lessons learned?

SPEAKER_02 5:14

We had a friend share. One of the things that I learned in my first year of marriage that I'm still working on practicing is listening with my face.

SPEAKER_05 5:23

Listening with your face. Okay, go on.

SPEAKER_02 5:26

Go on. Meaning I can't be multitasking and doing a ton of things for every conversation. Sometimes I just need to sit and be looking at him and listening with my face when he's talking.

SPEAKER_05 5:36

Yes. Oh, put your phone down. That's a big deal. Oh, Josh, what about you?

SPEAKER_03 5:41

This was a lesson that I learned my first year of mess uh of marriage was I, if if I'm not careful, I can ignore her a lot. I would come home from work, she'd come home from work, she'd be cooking dinner, yeah, and I'd be in on the computer or just doing something else, like entertaining myself while she's working for the two of us to make us a meal. And it's like, you know, I yes, I could play another quote round of golf on this game I'm playing. But my wife is out there.

SPEAKER_05 6:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:13

And so it it honestly took me a little longer than just one year to learn it, but I started learning it that very first year.

SPEAKER_05 6:19

I mean, and it takes a second to get used to two lives being combined, right? So that's something everyone has to learn. Would love to hear if that was part of your story. If or if you have a different lesson you learned, call or text 800-609-1049.

SPEAKER_03 6:34

This river artist says we are living in the future, and I uh I tend to agree with him. I got stolen by the grave is Crowder. The reason he said it's a future, man. It's the and he said it like that, it's we're living in the future. He just bought a car from a vending machine. Wait, what? Yeah, I know. I'm watching this video and I'm like, this is quite a flex, man. Like, how is it did it fit? Well, I would as I kind of assumed it's like a carvana or someplace like that. You know, you've seen some of those dealers too that have the big tower that has the cars in separate levels just as an aesthetics kind of thing. I thought maybe it was one of those, or like he was buying a Porsche or something, and I'm like, geez, Crowder, this is kind of unrelatable, sir, because I I cannot do that. But he then turned his camera around and he even said it himself. He's like, This is so dumb. It was a Hot Wheels car vending machine. Oh my goodness. So he bought a car, he bought a car from a vending machine. Um, it begs the question though, since we are in fact living in the future, what would you put in a vending machine if you could? And I think Hot Wheels cars is a genius move because I even have Hot Wheels cars now.

SPEAKER_02 7:52

Yeah, yeah, I'm with that too. Like I played with them all the time as a kid.

SPEAKER_03 7:56

Yeah, 100%. I don't play with them now, although I will admit, several, several years ago, one of my kids got this drag racing set for their Hot Wheels cars. And you better believe when it was bedtime, I sent the kids to bed and I played with that, and I had um a kind of a round-robin tournament to see what the fastest Hot Wheels car was.

SPEAKER_02 8:15

You're never too old for Hot Wheels.

SPEAKER_03 8:16

Yeah, right, exactly. And it was a police car, wouldn't you know? Of course. The boys in blue.

SPEAKER_02 8:20

So they would just like the kids were asleep, they just hear that faint like roaring from the track.

SPEAKER_03 8:26

I was having so much fun. So here are some other options. Would love to hear from you. What would you put in a uh in a vending machine? Call or text 800-609-1049. I would love a vending machine for sunglasses at the beach. That's that's smart. Because you could make a lot of money with it. How many times have you forgotten your sunglasses and you're like, I'm gonna be squinting all day? So sunglasses at the beach, scarves or gloves in the winter. Oh yeah. You'd need to heck because it's uh it's electric, like it's plugged in, have a warmer in there so they're warm when they come out.

SPEAKER_02 8:59

That would be awesome.

SPEAKER_03 9:00

That's a game changer. It's so great after you take like warm clothes out of the dryer.

SPEAKER_02 9:05

Best feeling.

Community Vending Machine Brainstorm

SPEAKER_03 9:06

And that is there vending like is there gum in vending machines? I feel like there's gotta be. Because sometimes you need to freshen that breath. Yeah. I'm not talking about you in particular. I'm not looking at like you collective. Anyone? So I think gum would be a good one that's probably already in existence. What would you put in a vending machine if you could? Because after all, Crowder bought a car from one. It's a Hot Wheels, but anyway. 800-609-1049. River artist Crowder just broke my brain because he had a video on Instagram where he was walking up to a car vending machine. And I'm like, it must be good to be a Christian music artist, because who in the world has the money to buy a car out of a vending machine? It was a Hot Wheels car, and I didn't appreciate the juke. I didn't. Even he said it was dumb though. Did you see the video, producer Mike?

SPEAKER_02 9:58

I did, actually, yeah. I was like, I had the same reaction as you. I was like, okay, are we flexing now? Right, right, right, right. Nah, it's a Hot Wheels car.

SPEAKER_03 10:06

I figured it would be something at least a little crazy, like he'd come out with a Lightning McQueen life-size car or something, because it's Crowder. He's a little nuts. Mm-hmm. But this was at the end of the day, I'll take it. My question though is for the rest of us living in the normal real world, what would you put in a vending machine if you could? I already suggested mine, sunglasses at the beach. Which I think is smart. I think somebody could make a lot of money off of that. I can't remember how many times I've gotten to the beach with my family, and I'm like, dog on it. Because I have glasses, glasses, and if I miss the ones that fit on these frames, then I'm just squinting the entire day. It's exhausting. So there's that. Uh the Twitter machine is up and running. You can call or text 800-609-1049. I mentioned the uh it's the text machine, so who texted it?

SPEAKER_02 10:54

Steven said that he'd love to see a vending machine with bicycles.

SPEAKER_03 10:57

Oh, okay. Well, that's almost like that's almost like the uh like the rent a bike thing that you have around cities and stuff. Got it in Columbus. Uh what else?

SPEAKER_02 11:06

Christy said those wet hand wipes. Oh, that could be a game changer. Yeah, that would be real nice.

SPEAKER_03 11:14

Put those right by any restaurant. Just outside. Because I can't, like, every time we go out, my kids are always like, I'm gonna go wash my hands. Just because you've been eating. It's like, well, if I've got that on the way, you can just wipe up quick. There you go.

SPEAKER_02 11:27

Especially any diner where it's like you're using syrup for pancakes. Always on your hands.

SPEAKER_03 11:32

Yeah, it's a hundred percent always sticky.

SPEAKER_02 11:34

Yeah. David said dog poop bags would be a good idea.

SPEAKER_03 11:37

Genius! We need those for my neighborhood. We have so many dogs and so many people who don't pick up after them. I was one of those guys till someone yelled at me and I was like, oh, I'm sorry. And I fixed that problem. But we need that everywhere we go. Vending machines for the dog bags, yes.

SPEAKER_02 11:54

Laura said my high school had an art vending machine that one of the art students made as a statement piece. You can put in a dollar, and then you got a tiny little painting. A little painting? Yeah. That's genius!

The Legendary Floor Muffin Debate

SPEAKER_03 12:05

Oh, that's so cool. Like, I've got kids that are uh that are artistic that way. That would be very interesting. That would be fun. So, producer Mike, how about you? If you could put anything in a vending machine, what would you do?

SPEAKER_02 12:17

I think it'd be awesome to get like an ice cream vending machine where it dispenses like ice cream cones. This guy. That way you don't have to like haul it around with you.

SPEAKER_03 12:26

And you're not cooler. You're not talking about like a soft machine somewhere.

SPEAKER_02 12:30

You're talking about it comes to you ready to make like there's an arm that like delivers it to you, like the cone. But there's a what? There's an arm. An arm? Yeah. That reaches out of the machine? Yeah, like a self-sanitizing arm.

SPEAKER_03 12:41

It is nightmare fuel. I am off the bus. Would you like a floor muffin? Maybe it's maybe it depends on the muffin. It might depend on the floor.

SPEAKER_05 12:53

Yeah, I think there's a lot of questions.

SPEAKER_03 12:55

Most people would say no, but are you a person who would say yes? The scenario in question happened. Uh, producer Mike and Hannah and I were meeting out at a coffee shop just prepping the next shows for you and your family as we get things going each morning. And there was a glorious, gorgeous, tasty muffin. It was huge! It was enormous, and it fell on the floor.

SPEAKER_05 13:16

Oh, it was so sad. Wait, I have to set the scene a little bit more.

SPEAKER_03 13:19

Yeah, I'm telling you.

SPEAKER_05 13:21

So this sweet coffee shop barista comes out of the kitchen with like a tray of hot, fresh muffins. Yeah, it's just they're bigger than your two fists put together. Like they're huge, and they have the nice crumble on top, too.

SPEAKER_04 13:36

Oh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 13:36

So I see her put them up on the glass counter so she can put them into the display. Yeah. And the one on the very end, it just teeters. It starts to rock. Slow motion. I'm putting my hand out. There's more muffin! Of course it lands top down. But it's still intact. It didn't smoosh over here. But it touched the floor. Yeah. And the floor wasn't just like tile. They have all these black rug runners because it's winter and there's salt being tracked in and it's wet.

SPEAKER_03 14:14

Wet snow and all this stuff.

SPEAKER_05 14:15

So there's this black rug that just holds liquid.

SPEAKER_03 14:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 14:21

That it falls on top.

SPEAKER_03 14:22

So it landed with a goosh.

SPEAKER_05 14:23

It did. So that quet makes that brings up some questions.

SPEAKER_03 14:27

Yeah, I mean, and that is like like I said in the beginning, it depends on the muffin, because that was a muffin worth saving. But it also depends on the floor, because the goosh, I don't know. I don't know about that. So my question is do you five-second rule or not? You can call or text 800-609-1049. I normally do.

SPEAKER_05 14:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:45

I have no problem it's more than five seconds. If it is a tasty morsel, it belongs in my tom tom.

SPEAKER_05 14:52

Normally, if it's not something that easily attracts, like it's not sticky or slimy. Like I like I'm not gonna pick up a spaghetti noodle off the ground.

SPEAKER_03 14:59

You're not gonna scoop yogurt off the dirt.

SPEAKER_05 15:01

No, no, no, we're not doing that. But this muffin, uh, it it touched the the wet carpet.

SPEAKER_03 15:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 15:07

And I just don't think I could do it.

SPEAKER_03 15:09

So we decided no on this one, but you might be a five-second ruler. And if you are, let's go through the scenarios, shall we? And maybe I want to hear it. Maybe the most unhinged way you've ever done it could also be part of the conversation. Uh call or text 800-609-1049, because I wanted this muffin, but I didn't want to look desperate. And my question is, do you five second rule? Because there's a lot of food that gets wasted just because it touched the floor. Every surface is a surface. Every surface has germs. You might as well enjoy it if you were going to anyway, and it has landed upon the floor. Just grab it quick!

SPEAKER_05 15:52

Yes, with those sound effects.

Overthinking Aisle Encounters

SPEAKER_03 15:53

I have to do it that quick because if my wife sees me, she's like, What did you just do? Why have you done this? So tasty.

SPEAKER_05 16:00

For the most part, I would say I five-second rule. It's just like you only lived on this side of heaven once. Yo! Grab it off the ground. Until we met that muffin. Yeah, there was a dad incident.

SPEAKER_03 16:46

The floor muffin. It was a gorgeous, oh, heavenly muffin. So heavy on top that that's the side it landed on.

SPEAKER_05 16:55

Onto a squishy wet mat.

SPEAKER_03 16:57

Yeah, from winter. It was this was a a week or a couple weeks ago, whatever, and it was just like So our debate has been should we have just eaten the muffin?

The Case For Boredom And Quiet

SPEAKER_05 17:04

I wanted to, but I didn't want to seem desperate. I know. And I'm just sad because that it just was like, I mean, a muffin the size of your face with the crumbles on top. And it just went to the trash. It never got to live its life. So sad.

SPEAKER_03 17:21

Jesus, why do bad things happen to good muffins? Why?

SPEAKER_00 17:26

Ryan help. Do you have a five-second rule? Here's what I would do. If it's still in the paper, cut the top off and just eat the bottom.

SPEAKER_03 17:34

That's an idea.

SPEAKER_05 17:36

I'm a little disappointed in this job. Why didn't we think of that?

SPEAKER_03 17:40

Missed opportunity.

SPEAKER_05 17:41

It's not like they offered it to us, but they did just kind of stare at us. We stared at them and we were all like, what do we do with the muffin?

SPEAKER_00 17:48

Also, my hobby is eating at restaurants that people don't think exist anymore. Oh. Okay, so Arthur Treatures, Quisnos, York Steakhouse, Max and Irma's, Ruby Tuesday. Where do you find these places, man? Oh, in Ohio. And Western Sizzling.

SPEAKER_05 18:05

But wait, like Max Sizzling? I haven't seen these places in forever. Max and Irma's left town like a minute or two ago.

SPEAKER_00 18:13

There's one in Lancaster still. I'm doing so Lancaster's Tuesdays. And Max and Irma's.

SPEAKER_03 18:18

You put Ruby Tuesday's ribs on the ground, I will lick the sauce off the sidewalk.

SPEAKER_00 18:24

And uh I've been doing doing unintentional eating challenges for myself. Last week I did 15 different pizzas in eight days.

SPEAKER_05 18:32

Stop it!

SPEAKER_00 18:33

And then next week's my birthday, and I'm gonna do six pizza buffets in six days.

SPEAKER_03 18:37

Okay. You are the hero we need.

SPEAKER_05 18:43

Stop overthinking it. These thoughts of an overthinker brought to you by the time I overthought. Really? Usually this is a Josh thing.

SPEAKER_03 18:54

A hundred percent of the time.

SPEAKER_05 18:56

The king of overthinking.

SPEAKER_03 18:57

I'm doing it right now, actually.

SPEAKER_05 18:59

Well, but I had a moment this week that I just can't stop spiraling about. Do tell. I was at Walmart buying candy for my Bible study. And you know, you know those people who try to get you to switch your phone plan or something or your electric company that that stand in the aisle and approach you.

SPEAKER_03 19:21

Oh, those are the worst. They put you in such an awkward position.

SPEAKER_05 19:24

I'm not sure they're nice people. Well, I saw the guy on one side of the aisle talking to this couple. So I was going to quickly walk past him on the other side. I was like, got it done, cool. Didn't realize he had a partner on the other side of the aisle. So I'm already fast walking. I look up, we're, I mean, four feet apart, like no distance here.

SPEAKER_03 19:51

So you are interacting simply by proximity.

SPEAKER_05 19:55

Yeah. We make, I mean, direct eye contact. I panic, looked at him in the eye and said, nope, and hard pivoted the other direction. And just you said no.

Bad News, Good News, And Scapegoats

SPEAKER_03 20:10

No. Nope. He hadn't said anything.

SPEAKER_05 20:14

Nothing.

SPEAKER_03 20:15

And you just said nope.

SPEAKER_05 20:17

And I feel like the worst human being because he is a human. That was so rude of me, but I know I didn't want to also waste his time. I have no interest in a new phone plan or electrical company. I don't know. And I just felt like scum. I felt so rude. And I can't stop thinking about it, Josh. I can't stop. Welcome. Oh, I thought you were gonna like help me out here. There's nothing to fix this. This is how the other half live, Hannah. Great.

SPEAKER_03 20:50

And he's a super smart guy. I didn't catch his name, unfortunately, but he's like a researcher or something. Anyway, his talk started with this quote. He said, You need to be bored. You will have less meaning, and you will be more depressed if you never are bored. End quote. And then he went like all scientific and stuff, so I'm gonna try to sum it up. When you don't have anything else to do, your brain switches over to a default mode, which activates parts of your brain that are usually unused or are kind of on standby. This is a good thing. Reactivating parts of our brain. But we hate it. Because we don't like what we think. We don't like dealing with the big questions of life. Maybe the big question that is life. We don't like the quiet because then we can hear the stuff rattling around in our subconscious. And I say we because this is me too. I am constantly busy, I am constantly entertained, I am constantly doing something. Even when I'm sitting and driving my hour drive home and to and from the river, I'm still doing something, I'm listening to something, I'm experiencing something. I'm never bored. He said, we've gotta get better at this. You mean there was a Harvard study where people were put in a room and told, just be bored for 15 minutes. Don't do anything. There wasn't anything in the room except a button that shocked them if they pushed it. Rather than be bored for 15 minutes, people chose pain. They continually zapped themselves over and over. So here are his suggestions on how to do this. One, and it's it you're gonna not be shocked. It all is about your phone. Don't sleep with your phone, no phones during meals, regular social media fasts. He said, People worry if they do these things, they're gonna miss something. Well, my grandparents and your grandparents didn't know what was always going on in Washington, DC, and somehow they made it. He says, You're killing yourself with this stuff. I know I am. So, today, in light of this study and a smart guy behind a mic talking about this, and I'm not talking about me, I'm talking about the person who gave this study. Will you try it with me? Put the phone down, let our minds wander, think all the thoughts, and maybe spend some of that free time with our creator. God has been whispering. We've just been too noisy to hear it. Then I've got good news and bad news, alright? And the good news is about goats. What did we learn? But first, let's do the bad news. Okay. Just get the bad news out of the way. It's all our fault. It's my fault, it's your fault. This perfect world God created messed up is a kind way to describe it, and I did it. So did you. And if you if you think like, no, Adam and Eve did it, yeah. Well, if it was you and me, we would have done the same thing. Yeah. We would have messed it up the same way. And all of that sin has separated you and me from God. It's separated us from our purpose, from our forever with Jesus. That's the bad news. Now, the good news.

SPEAKER_05 24:16

Yay, I'm excited.

Live Show Invite And Closing CTA

SPEAKER_03 24:19

Bring in the ghosts. Uh, your sin and my sin has been what's called atoned for. It's been paid for. The blood of Jesus has been shed, and by the shedding of blood there is covering and forgiveness of sin. In the Old Testament, though, before Jesus had come here, they had to do something else. And so this is where we had the annual sacrifice of a goat. This is where a goat stepped in. And it wasn't God saying, A goat is perfect, and so it covers for your sin. But he was willing to accept it as a picture of what Jesus was going to come to do. But there wasn't just one goat, there was a second one, and it was driven out into the wilderness. This is where we get the idea of the scapegoat. It was an actual goat. It went out into the wilderness. And God says, in the same way, you don't have to be concerned or worried about your sin or guilty about it anymore. He has driven your sin away from you. Wow. It has been paid for by the blood of Jesus. And not only is that cost covered, but the sin is literally removed from you, physically gone. This entire story, this picture that God painted is for you and for me to understand He will do and has done everything to get you back. If you'll just, if I will just accept the sacrifice of Jesus.

SPEAKER_01 25:52

Hey, you're invited to listen to the recording of this podcast live. How? Where? It's simple. You can share every weekday morning with Josh and Hannah on 1049 The River in Columbus, Ohio, or online at riverradio.com.

SPEAKER_03 26:07

It was a journey, but we've made it together. Thanks for listening to this episode of the River Morning Show weekly podcast.

SPEAKER_05 26:14

And hey, since you made it this far, would you be willing to like and rate this podcast? There's a few stars you can click. Five stars would be wonderful. A few at least five at most.

SPEAKER_03 26:24

We'd love the big one.

SPEAKER_05 26:25

And even more than that, if you want to subscribe to make sure you never miss an episode, please do. We love hanging out with you.