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The River Morning Show Weekly Podcast
The River Morning Show with Josh & Hannah is a daily radio show heard each weekday morning on the River Radio Network in Central Ohio!
These are some of the funniest, heart-warming, and sometimes bizarre moments from the week! Plus, exclusives that are ONLY for you when listening right here. And don’t forget to rate and subscribe!
You can also listen to the live recording here https://riverradio.com/
The River Morning Show Weekly Podcast
Josh! Here's Your Drinky!
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We trade the kind of stories that make you say, “Wait, that’s how that works?” and feel instantly less alone. Between laugh out loud listener confessions and a healthy dose of faith encouragement, and a story about Josh receiving a "drinky" from a coffee shop, you won't want to miss this episode!
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Thanks for listening!
-Josh & Hannah
The Collide Kids Podcast is a FUN and UNIQUE show for kids and families where we learn how life and faith COLLIDE!
Cold Open And A Quick Ask
SPEAKER_10Here's what to expect on this week's episode of the River Morning Show weekly podcast.
SPEAKER_04These thoughts of an overthinker brought to you by the same place. I got a coffee with a kid's temp one time. And I think they remember me for all the wrong reasons.
SPEAKER_09Oh, you left an impression.
SPEAKER_04Because uh I could swear my order was announced a little differently.
SPEAKER_08I'm pretty sure they said, Josh, here's your drinking. I think they did. I think they absolutely did. Hey baby boy, here you're drinking.
SPEAKER_04Thank you for pressing play on this podcast. You can find more at river radio.com when you click on demand. And we don't often do this. So I will ask, if you haven't subscribed yet to the River Morning Show Weekly Podcast, do that subscription thing. Please do. And then also rate it really high. And then also like do comments of how much you love it.
SPEAKER_10Because friendship. Right.
SPEAKER_04Gonna conquer the world together for God or something.
SPEAKER_10Amen. Yeah. Thanks for listening.
Embarrassingly Late Life Lessons
SPEAKER_10It was so embarrassing. But you are not alone. So it's time to share. What is something you learned embarrassingly late in life?
SPEAKER_04We've all got one, so don't you sit there and be like, I'm gonna sit on my hands and just listen to these fools.
SPEAKER_10Call or text 800-609-1049. It can be a little factoid, maybe a skill you didn't realize the rest of the world knew, and you've just been sitting in the dark. For example.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I was gonna say, did you just recently discover something?
SPEAKER_10You know what? I feel like at this point it's pretty common knowledge that I didn't know this, but we have to bring it back every so often because it's it's that much of a fail. I didn't know until far too late in life that little baby carrots are just full-grown carrots shaved down. I had no clue. I'm so embarrassed by that. But if somebody would have asked me where do baby carrots come from, I would have been like, mm-hmm, yeah, I got nothing.
SPEAKER_04The thing is, in my head, I would pick them like beans, but carrots grow in the ground.
SPEAKER_10Like I'm so off on this. I think if I had sat there and thought about it, I wouldn't have come to the conclusion that they're just full grown carrots shaved down. I would have thought that they were a different breed of carrot that still grew in the ground, but were smaller. And you like you pull them up and there's like six on a vine or something. I don't know if Bugs Bunny led me astray. I'm not really sure, but I really didn't know that till far too late in life.
SPEAKER_04Well, you're not alone. Okay, cool. Because also something that I didn't find out until way too late in life, and I think I'm trying to remember when I learned this. I I think I had gotten frustrated again because I went to the wrong side at the gas pump.
SPEAKER_10Yeah?
SPEAKER_04And my wife is with me. She's like, you know, your car tells you which side your gas pump.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, the little arrow.
SPEAKER_04Didn't know you didn't know that. Didn't know that's what the arrow was for. I always wondered, like, what's with that design, and then never asked anybody.
SPEAKER_10You know what? They do make it aggressively small. It is really tiny. So I bet you're not alone in learning that.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, so if if you don't know, you can't remember what side the gas tank goes into, like on your car, look at the gas pump symbol on your dashboard. There's an arrow there, it's pointing at where the nozzle goes.
SPEAKER_10I know, it's so helpful. Genius! What is that thing you learned embarrassingly late in life? You are not standing alone, friend. Call or text to share 800-609-1049. It's that thing you learned embarrassingly late in life. It is okay. This is a safe space to share it because you do not stand alone.
SPEAKER_04Is it safe? Because we're gonna laugh.
SPEAKER_10We're gonna laugh, but it's because you can laugh at us too. Okay. I learned really late in life that baby carrots were just big old carrots shaved down.
SPEAKER_04And I learned late in life the arrow next to the gas pump icon tells you which side to stick the nozzle in in your car.
SPEAKER_10Look, there's a lot to be educated on, and sometimes you miss a few pieces along the way. I got me a college degree. I've been here for four decades. And I still didn't know that. Still learning this one. So it is your turn to share what's that thing that you learned embarrassingly late in life. Call or text 800-609-1049. Carol, what was that for you?
SPEAKER_05I did not know that pickles were pickled cucumbers.
SPEAKER_10You know what? They become so vastly different.
SPEAKER_05Like, how is someone supposed to put two and two together?
SPEAKER_04I'm with you on that, friend. It's okay.
SPEAKER_05I had no idea. I was because I kept trying to find pickles. Because I was gonna try making pickling pickles, which I don't know why I thought that was a thing, but that's what I was doing.
SPEAKER_04Well, you at least you could have been like, all right, I'm gonna plant a cucumber and I'm gonna plant dill. And hopefully they intermingle in the ground somehow.
SPEAKER_05Well, I didn't even know. I mean, I had no clue because I don't like cucumbers at all.
SPEAKER_10Oh yeah, so not even on your radar. Did somebody have to tell you, or was it just through your own research that you figured it out?
SPEAKER_05Oh no, I'm sure it was either my mom or my sister. And I'm sure they tortured me endlessly.
SPEAKER_10Eyes rolling, but laughing the whole way through. Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_04Thanks again for calling. Okay, Brittany, what's something you learned way too late in life?
SPEAKER_07Yeah, my kids just told me recently that when turtles hibernate, they breathe through their butt.
SPEAKER_10I cannot tell you how much I hope that is true. I need that to be factual.
SPEAKER_04I'm not gonna Google it though. That's gonna mess up my algorithm.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, don't go there.
The Unhinged Puppy Instruction List
SPEAKER_10Your pet should not have to come with warning labels. And yet, here we are. My parents are watching our nine-month-old 100-pound puppy for the first time over the long weekend. And we started making a list of all the things we need to bring them and tell them about. And oh my word, the more I wrote, the more unhinged this dog became.
SPEAKER_04Well, and here's the thing, too. This is good practice for the first time you leave the house with the baby.
SPEAKER_10That's actually a really good thing. When the baby's born. But I hope the baby doesn't have half the uh chaotic, I don't even want to call them issues. No, it's references. No, it's issues.
SPEAKER_04Call it issues.
SPEAKER_10I know. Here's kind of how my letters started. Okay. Dear mom and dad, thank you so much for watching our fur baby. By the way, you might need to know that he is scared of hardwood floors, has to have a bedtime snack or he pukes. 50% of the time, he won't go potty outside alone. You have to go with it. Oh, okay. He doesn't bark when he wants something, he sings.
SPEAKER_04What does that sound like?
SPEAKER_10And I can't. It's so high pitched, I can't even do it. Whatever you're imagining, it's worse. Okay. He's scared of diet coat cans, specifically the gold ones, and ice cubes. When on a walk, he's not biting you. He wants to hold your hand with his teeth. What in the world? He thinks he's a 10-pound cat, probably because he wants to be like his kitty brother.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_10Oh, oh, in this one. He toots every time he gets on the couch. So have so much fun. And please, please hesitate to reach out with questions.
Burgers Burnt Or Rash Talk
SPEAKER_00Would you rather?
SPEAKER_03Memorial Day is coming up, which means the family barbecue season.
SPEAKER_10Yeah.
SPEAKER_03So, would you rather? Oh boy.
SPEAKER_04Oh, wait, you're gonna ruin the Memorial Day barbecue with a would you rather? There we go.
SPEAKER_03Sorry. Alright, Uncle Jim. Would you rather him burn all the burgers? Or would you rather be cornered by Aunt Marge for 30 minutes and hear about her rash?
SPEAKER_04You're nasty.
SPEAKER_10I hope someone really has an Uncle Jim and an Aunt Marge. That would be incredible. Okay, so I'd I rather have Uncle Jim burn all the burgers or be cornered by Aunt Marge for 30 minutes telling me about her rash. Oof. Okay. I think I can deal with Aunt Marge. I can deal with Aunt Marge. You want the rash conversation? If it's 30 minutes and then it's over.
SPEAKER_04It's a half hour of rash.
SPEAKER_10That's okay, because then I still get a good burger, though.
SPEAKER_04I'm avoiding the rash. Really? I'm gonna put so many condiments on top of that burger.
SPEAKER_10You're just eating a hockey punk?
SPEAKER_04That's fine.
SPEAKER_10No.
SPEAKER_04No rash conversation. That's fine, but I get to keep walking. When she goes, hey, I want to tell you. I gotta go chew this burger with a sledgehammer.
SPEAKER_10She needs someone to talk to.
SPEAKER_04That's fine.
SPEAKER_10This made up Aunt Marge just needs someone to listen.
SPEAKER_04Yes, and I have just the person, you.
SPEAKER_10Okay, fine. I will listen to Aunt Marge on our behalf so that we can have good burgers.
SPEAKER_04I don't get the good burger, but that's okay. I don't have to listen to the conversation or the consistency of her skin. What's in that and why is it oozing out?
SPEAKER_10Oh, stop! See? It's fine though, because then I can eat my burger. Would you say the words you want to?
SPEAKER_04I think I win this one. Sticking with it.
SPEAKER_10Sticking with it.
SPEAKER_04Alright, would you rather hockey puck burger? Or Aunt Marge's rash conversation? This is what we do every day. Uh 800-609-1049.
SPEAKER_00Would you rather?
SPEAKER_03With Memorial Day coming up, it's time to talk about that family barbecue. Yes, please. Would you rather, Uncle Jim, burn all the burgers? Or would you rather be cornered by Aunt Marge and for 30 minutes hear about her rash?
SPEAKER_10Bring on Aunt Marge. You're crazy. No, because what you look forward to at these family gatherings is the food. So I want a good, juicy, not hockey puck burger.
SPEAKER_04What do I try to avoid at these family gatherings?
SPEAKER_10I don't like conversation.
SPEAKER_04Not just conversation. That conversation. I want to be able to sleep soundly later. Nightmares.
SPEAKER_10It'd be great.
SPEAKER_04I think listening to Aunt Marge talk, my tummy would be turned. No. Inside, and everything on my insides would want to be on my outside. Got that one from comedian Brian Reagan. Thank you very, very much.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_04Um, Robin, thank you for calling. Would you rather eat a charcoal briquette burger like me, or listen to Aunt Marge describe in detail about her rash. Go.
SPEAKER_07I can listen to Aunt Marge's little rash. Thank you.
SPEAKER_04You don't know that it's a little rash. You don't know that it's little, but you only have to hear about it for 30 minutes. But I don't.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, and you know what? It's a quick little 30 minutes, and then those juicy and savory burgers that we don't need any condiments for. Freeze, friend. Freeze. Because Uncle Jim knows how to season those babies. Yes. So I don't need any ketchup and mustard on mine, Josh.
SPEAKER_04What if her rash could also be described as juicy and savory? Ah no! Ben I drugged.
SPEAKER_07I love you, Aunt Marge. Here's some cream. I put in a bottle of cream matter and run.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_07You guys are ridiculous. I know.
SPEAKER_04Oh, goodness. Think of the prankster in your life. Now, no matter if you love those thoughts or have a little dread,
Best Nonviolent Senior Pranks
SPEAKER_04and your heart maybe sank to your stomach because you don't like Prankster Joe or whatever his name is, please know this. It's gonna be okay. Because it's senior prank season, and I want to know the best nonviolent senior prank.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, non-disruptive destructive.
SPEAKER_04We're not breaking things or vandalizing or doing anything illegal. Take those and toss them. I don't want to hear about that. What I want though is to share the best non-violent senior prank that you were a part of or that you saw or heard about. Call or text 800-609-1049. For example, my brother's senior class. They went through late one night before a school day, and anybody's locker who was unlocked, they took all the contents from that locker and tossed them into a pile on the gym floor.
SPEAKER_10I would argue that that is destructive. No, because how in the world do you find your stuff?
SPEAKER_04They didn't destroy anything, they just mixed it in with everybody else's.
SPEAKER_10What if my Snickers was in there?
SPEAKER_04They probably ate that. I will appreciate because I was the kid who had all my homework from the year in a pile at the bottom of my locker, and I never locked my locker, but my brother knew which locker was mine, and he said, not that one. Oh, I very much watching out. He was because he knew my life would have been over. Because like every day I'm like, I can't find this thing. So he protected me there. But that was one of the best non-violent senior pranks I can remember. Would love to hear yours too. Call or text 800-609-1049. It's graduation season, which also means it's senior prank season. Oh. And I'm hoping you will share one that was nonviolent. We don't want to ruin anybody's possessions. We don't want to hurt anyone. We don't want to do anything illegal. But man, can this be fun? So call or text 800-609-1049. Got a few people on the text line, producer Mike.
SPEAKER_03Janet said we moved our math teacher's classroom out to the courtyard. And she taught there all day. That's okay. No way.
SPEAKER_10What a champ. Yeah, that's incredible.
SPEAKER_03Good sport. Jesse said the seniors in my school filled the principal's office with hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of balloons. Some of them may have contained glitter.
SPEAKER_10That's still there today for sure.
SPEAKER_04It's not violent, but man, is that frustrating? Yes. Oh my goodness. Hannah, did you uh did your class do a senior prank? Do you involve anything?
SPEAKER_10Yeah, and it was it was funny. We uh all the student, all the senior class brought in like pillows and sleeping bags the morning of and pretended like we had spent the entire night there and lined the hallways with the whole senior class. I didn't actually participate, I was on like the journalism team, so I was taking the photos and whatnot.
SPEAKER_04You were documented.
SPEAKER_10Yes, so I need to figure out if those still exist anywhere. But it was like the teachers walk in, got them. Uh-huh. I like that.
SPEAKER_04That's very innocent, but also like what?
SPEAKER_10What's happening here?
SPEAKER_04Jordan, uh, the best non-violent senior prank you were a part of or that you remember.
SPEAKER_01I'm from Idaho, little rural farm town. So these other kids who had worked on their family's farm, they had some pigs.
SPEAKER_09Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01And they did get they did get permission from one of the principals. Okay, I was gonna say, this sounds violent. Now they brought three pigs and wrote the numbers one, two, and four.
SPEAKER_10Yes.
SPEAKER_01And let them loose into the school.
SPEAKER_10I've heard of people doing this before.
SPEAKER_01There was no three. So it took them a while to figure out there was no three, but they let them loose, and it was quite a spectacle to see that day.
SPEAKER_04So the prank not only is there's pigs loose in the school, but whoever's rounding them up thinks there's one missing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, correct.
SPEAKER_10Genius! This little piggy went to biology, this one went to gym, and this one didn't exist.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_07Stop overthinking it.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Oh no.
SPEAKER_07What now?
SPEAKER_04These thoughts of an overthinker
The Barista Called It A Drinky
SPEAKER_04brought to you by the same place. I got a coffee with a kid's temp one time, and I think they remember me for all the wrong reasons.
SPEAKER_09Oh, you left an impression.
SPEAKER_04Because uh, and you can vouch for me because you and producer Mike, you were there too. We went there for a meeting last week. I could swear my order was announced a little differently.
SPEAKER_08Uh-huh. Because I'm I'm pretty sure they said, Josh, here's your drinking. I think they did. I think they absolutely did. Hey, baby boy, he'll yo drinking.
SPEAKER_10And it just adds to the kids' temperature.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. I think they remember.
SPEAKER_10I think they do.
SPEAKER_04This guy was too much of a baby boy to handle a grown-up hot coffee. And so he wanted a Widow Bitty Kitty template show.
SPEAKER_10It's all he'll your drinky. If we go back, I think it'll come in a sippy cup. I think that's the trajectory that we're on.
SPEAKER_04So here's the thing, because I know we will go back. And I, from what I can tell, I'm not overthinking this. You think this is real, don't you?
SPEAKER_10Yeah, I forgot that's part of what you're doing here. No, I think this is accurate.
SPEAKER_04Well, it's a whole new segment now. I'm not overthinking. I'm just thinking.
SPEAKER_10This one may have been right on the nose.
SPEAKER_04So, Miss Barista, who apparently remembers who I am. Maybe you listen to the radio. Welcome. God loves you, so do I. Anyway, you can call it a drinky all you want. But the next time you do, I want to play to free cookies along with my drinking.
SPEAKER_08Yes.
SPEAKER_04Back by popular demand, we're gonna do something here today. Let's replace this song with
Graduation Walk Up Song Picks
SPEAKER_04I don't know, with maybe this song.
SPEAKER_09Yes, come on.
SPEAKER_04There's nothing wrong with Pump and Circumstance except for the name Pump and Circumstance. But um, if you had a walk-up song for a graduation, if you were walking across stage today, what river song would you pick? And this is Hannah's.
SPEAKER_10Because this is from the year I graduated high school, so you don't have to do it that way, but I loved looking back. So 2010, that song was popping on.
SPEAKER_04Absolutely.
SPEAKER_10And I would have loved to walk across the stage to that.
SPEAKER_04And for me, I didn't want to go all the way back to when I was graduating.
SPEAKER_10That's okay.
SPEAKER_04Because none of those songs are on the air anymore. Uh, so there's this one. This is Miracle Child for two reasons. One, I can do nothing without Jesus. Amen. And I graduated thank the laude. It was not I was not on the uh honor roll, but on the Dean's list or anything like that. You can call or text 800-609-1049 with what song you would like to replace this with. Uh, and first person is in. Tara texted, and uh, she went for this one.
SPEAKER_10Oh, first phase first. I love that.
SPEAKER_04What a great message, too.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, as you head off to that next phase of life.
SPEAKER_04Right, exactly. Call it Tara. Love that choice. And then Ryan picked this one because he's uh he's tired of just waiting around. I could just see him now marching across the stage.
SPEAKER_10It's probably like there's too many people in my graduating class. Move! Move! Keep going!
SPEAKER_04Alright, you can do the same thing. What river song would you walk across the stage to if you were replacing Pomp and Circumstance with a walk-up song? Call or text 800-609-1049. And can we please can we please spice up graduation?
SPEAKER_10Let's do it!
SPEAKER_04It's so very prim and proper, this song. And you have you have moments where you catch the glimpse of a little personality if you're a child or you see the students who have decorated the top of their hat.
SPEAKER_10Or have you seen their shoes? Their shoes are getting really fancy these days. But that's all you can show!
SPEAKER_04Like that's all you can do. And so, since this is Christian music radio, the river, we thought, how about we do a walk-up song like they do in sports or whatever? Yes! So, uh, thanks to Cam who texted in 800-609-1049, if he were to graduate today and walk across the stage, this is what we would hear instead of popping circumstance.
SPEAKER_10That's perfect! Yes, a grueling four years of high school and um made it. I love that.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, because you you could you walk across the stage with your hands in the air, like I finally got there. Uh Dunette, I love what she's got.
SPEAKER_10So good. I love that. It's like you're evangelizing as you walk across the stage.
SPEAKER_04It's like everybody, something happened and it ain't me. That's so cool. Say about Jesus. All right, you can call or text with your river song you would walk across the stage to if you were gonna get uh graditated today. 800-609-1049. I love what nine-year-old Haley said. She got with her mom and she texted in. She is taking the future by the throat with this one, Hannah. It's just like Imagine walking across the stage to this. Absolutely. So you see here, the sky's the limit. Call or text with your graduation walk-up song 800-609-1049. Seems for graduation now, the only way you can show any personality is with your shoes and the way you decorate your cap.
SPEAKER_10It's true. So you got your head and your toes covered. What about your shoulders and your
SPEAKER_04What about that's a big blue tarp?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_04Depending on your school colors, that's pretty much it. Hoping that uh you might dream a little bit here this morning. If you were to walk across the stage for graduation today, what river song would you choose? You can call or text 800-609-1049. I loved what Haley said a moment ago. This has so far been my favorite because she is is on fire.
unknownMy ego!
SPEAKER_04Imagine walking across the stage to this.
SPEAKER_10Oh, you're marching. You're declaring the name of Jesus.
SPEAKER_04Then you stop and you're just like, Everybody with me! Survivor!
SPEAKER_03Yeah!
SPEAKER_04So good. Producer Mike, we've got other folks who have texted in. What do you got?
SPEAKER_03Cameron said that he would pick Fight of My Life by Ren Collective. Amazing.
SPEAKER_10So good.
SPEAKER_04That is so good. Also, I saw that uh we had someone text in for this one. Yeah. Amazing. And then there's uh somebody who went old school.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we had a friend say shackles by Mary Mary.
SPEAKER_10Shackles of my education. I've been freed of them.
SPEAKER_04Oh good. I just want to bounce to this.
SPEAKER_10Oh, that's so good.
SPEAKER_04That's incredible. Alright, so thank you for uh for calling and sharing. Nancy, what song would you use?
SPEAKER_06Good by Matthew West. Oh, that's perfect.
SPEAKER_04So sweet. Why do you like that one for your walk-up song?
SPEAKER_06I like it because like it helps remind me that God is with me through everything and he helped me he would help me feel all the things I've been through.
SPEAKER_10Oh, yes. Nancy, that's beautiful. Nancy, how old are you? Ten. Ten. That's amazing. Okay, and is your school year over yet? It's almost like you are so close. It can be now are you graduating from fourth into fifth grade or fifth into sixth grade? Fifth into sixth grade. So you're graduating elementary school? This is big. Yes. That's amazing. So good can be your graduation song this year. That's awesome, Nancy. Congrats. Thanks. Of course. You finished strong. We are rooting for you, and thank you so much for being a part of the River family.
SPEAKER_04Thank you. This might be just what you need today. I I know I needed it. It's from author and speaker Lisa Turkhurst. What
God Finishes What He Starts
SPEAKER_04did we learn? I do. I feel like I learned a thing or two. She said, Can I remind you of something powerfully true and encouraging today? Oh, I'm connected. Yes, please. She says, God is a God of completion. He makes promises and he keeps them. He fulfills them. Even if we don't see it in this life, he will complete what he has set out to complete. Yes. He will finish what he started. And we can find great comfort in that truth. She says, So think of your unfinished story. I'm thinking of the unfinished stories of people I care about who are in the quote wilderness right now. A wilderness of their own making and choosing. I have people like that in my life. Yeah. You probably do as well. Maybe you feel like you're in the wilderness, and that's okay. She finishes by saying, God is working, and he is fulfilling his promises. And again, I don't know if you needed it, but I need it. And I'm gonna hang on to that today. Hey, you're invited to listen to the recording of this podcast live. How? Where? It's simple. You can share every weekday morning with Josh and Hannah on 1049 The River in Columbus, Ohio, or online at riverradio.com. It was a journey, but we've made it together. Thanks for listening to this episode of the River Morning Show weekly podcast.
SPEAKER_10And hey, since you made it this far, would you be willing to like and rate this podcast? There's a few stars you can click. Five stars would be wonderful. A few at least, five at most.
SPEAKER_04We'd love the big one.
SPEAKER_10And even more than that, if you want to subscribe to make sure you never miss an episode, please do. We love hanging out with you.
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