Episode 14 - Say Yes to Yourself with Wendy Harrop

Wendy Harrop is an avid home entertainer and owner of The Phineas Wright House, a historic farm and bed & breakfast in Bolton, Massachusetts. Her desire to have every guest feel welcomed, anticipated, and celebrated typically starts with a signature cocktail. Bringing the experience from her 30 year career as a wedding planner into everyday entertaining is a delight for both guest and hostess. She currently curates opportunities for woman to say YES to themselves through luxury trips in the US and France, workshops and retreats in her 200 year old barn, and week long Farm Stays. She is the host of the Say YES to yourself! Podcast where she shares conversations with fabulous women incorporating this self care practice in big and small ways.

As host of Say Yes to Yourself podcast, Wendy shares the philosophy that saying yes to yourself is not about being selfish, it's more about self-preservation, self-care self-compassion. It’s a practice and it’s like any muscle that needs exercise - it’s awkward until it’s elegant.

Lisa and Pam chat with Wendy this week about her approach to life, child raising and finding the Yeses that delight her. Lisa brings another feminine cocktail to the porch this week and find out how both ladies are meeting their 2023 goals this year during Hot Flash! It's a jam-packed episode - enjoy!

Links from show conversation:
Phineas Wright House
Say Yes to Yourself! Podcast
Gina Devee
Divine Living Podcast
Champagne Dreams Paris Trip travel with Pam on one of her curated trips to Paris France. Click here for all of the details.
oliveandbranch.com

Follow us on Instagram.

Transcript

I'm curating the life that I desire. I'm creating. The days I want to have. And I'm owning that experience instead of waiting for somebody else to tell me. When I get to do the things I want, yeah, next one. Is that going to happen? Waiting for somebody? Exactly. Nobody else is sitting around thinking of ways to make my life better. 

Hi, everybody. Welcome to meet you on the porch. I'm Pam, and I'm here with Lisa. Hello, Lisa. Hello, Pamela. How are you? I am fair to Midland today. How about yourself? Oh, that's good. Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. Good, good. I I'm excited today because we have a guest. We have Wendy Harrop from the Phineas Wright house. She is a fabulously inspiring woman that is going to talk to us today about how we can. Say yes to ourselves more, which is I don't think something we as women do a lot of. So I'm, I'm super excited to have her here and kind of share that philosophy with her and how she approaches her her world. And anyways, that's what's coming up. Lisa, do you have a cocktail for us today for conversation cocktail that I'm bringing to the porch is I'm keeping on to the lady cocktail theme. It's an all women cocktail. Yeah, all women have been action. But you know, I did the the pink lady a bit ago and then I did the. White lady, though. The white lady, which you referenced her as the pink ladies. Pale sister. You called her the sister. I called them the sisters and you said the Pale 1, the pale sister. Yeah, yeah. So today I'm doing and I know you're not going to like this, but. It's a lady Gray cocktail. Oh, yeah. You know what's in it? Yeah, I know. I like. Let's just preface this by saying that Pam does not like. The teas, the Earl Great Way or the Lady Gray or you know as you said any of the any of the Grays you didn't like in the teeth. So this might graze. This might not be a cocktail for you but I love tea and I'm into gin lately so and this is gin based and it's super simple. You know me as always. You make a a honey simple syrup which you know what simple syrup is sugar 

and water. But this is honey and water you. Bruce and Lady Grey tea and let it cool down. And then in a shaker, you're just going to put some gin, the syrup, a little lemon juice and optional, which of course I add is the egg white. Another thing that keeps to really. Yeah, I think, I think all these lady cocktails have to have an egg white in for whatever reason. So Jin does honey, Sir, the honey syrup tea, a little lemon juice, lemon juice and the gin is going to make a difference. Because all gins are not created equal, you know that's true. So you want all like a more botanical type of skin, a floral gin. It would. It makes a world of, I think. The the type of. Liquor that you use could make a big difference. You know, you could have. Three lady. You know, lady grey cocktails in front of you, but made with three different gyms. Could have completely different taste. Yeah. So you might know I always want to poo poo a cocktail because it could have been the the brand of the liquor. Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense. So that looks great. All right. So today, everybody, we're going to talk to Wendy Harrop. Wendy is the owner of the Phineas Wright House. And if you follow her on social media, you know, she is a entertainer extraordinaire and she owns. The historic farm bed and breakfast in Massachusetts called the Phineas Wright House and her belief in entertaining, and I love this phrase, Wendy, is that you say you want to have every guest feel welcome and anticipated and celebrated, and I love those that word anticipated. I think that's a really great way to talk about when you have guests, whether in your home or outside or if you're meeting friends like 

you want to feel anticipated. So that's kind of Wendy's. Philosophy she also has a podcast called Say Yes to yourself and we're going to dig deep into that today about how we can all start to say yes to ourselves more. And she's been a wedding planner for 30 years. She currently curates amazing luxury trips for for women to say yes to themselves by going to the places in the United States as well as France. She also does workshops and retreats in her 200 old barn. She's a busy lady. She's a mom, and we're so happy to have you with us. Wendy, thanks for joining us. Welcome to meet you on the porch. Thank you for having me. I'm so happy to be here, and I'm so looking forward to this conversation. Wendy and I met Lisa. About, I don't know, we just met last fall, right? We met in Paris in September. In September was happenstance. And I love your energy and I like what you say about how you can empower yourself to. Say yes to yourself to do the things that bring you joy to do the things that you want to do or the things you've been wanting or longing to do for so long. And you talk a lot about that in your podcast, but we thought we'd want to dig in a little deeper with that. How did that come about for you? How did that realization for you start? And we'd love to hear, hear that story from you. So I would say that my journey toward this practice started three years ago, actually in January of And it perfectly worked its way into the pandemic, where I became a captive audience right to personal development work. And it actually started with I was reading a lot of books, I was listening to a lot of podcasts, I had started a morning routine that I'm 

very committed to and in a podcast. By a woman named Gina Devee. Um her podcast is the Divine Living Podcast and she was talking about creating a an ideal client checklist. And using this concept that you could actually choose the characteristics of the person that you would like to work with. And I thought that was amazing. And so I started listening and following the the procedure that she was suggesting and from that. Came away from with a mantra of I am only available for what delights me. Love that, love that. Yeah, that's like a mindset, right? Like, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna bother with that. I don't want that in my life, that energy or negativity, or if it just doesn't delay you. I love that, right? And when I first said it, I laughed out loud. Even hearing them. The words fall out of my mouth. As I thought. Oh, or am I? Am I allowed to only be available for what delights me? Is that even a thing? And I started practice practicing saying that more often. I started definitely practicing that concept in my actions, even though I live on a farm and there are a lot of chores associated with that. I love my life. So doing the things that support this farm actually delight me. So doing chores delights me if I walk into another situation that actually feels more obligatory 

or. I just don't want to do anything and it's not and I don't have to. I'm actually using that as a grid for. What I say yes to because, you know, we're amazing women and a lot of people want to do a lot of things with us, and we cannot say yes to everything, right. And I wanted to say no to good things and save my guesses for the best. And that mindset of only being available for what delights me was something that helped me make a decision. For myself, that I might have thought, ohh well it won't take that long or it would really be helpful to that person if I said yes, even though I don't want to do it. Yeah, all of these things, it felt like it was adding another entity to my decision making process that was pretty cut and dry and it brought me a lot of time and it it actually changed my life. Wow, that's amazing. And you leave the guilt at the door. You know, like, I literally had a friend reach out to me recently for a project and I was like, well, I don't really want to do that, but I feel like it bad if I say, if I say no, but you can just be like, yeah, you know, it's OK, you don't have to do it. It's true. And somebody else will step into that role that is absolutely delighted by that project, right. Well, can I ask you, Wendy, you know, when you started practicing that, did it come? Easy and naturally. Or was it? Did you have any guilt involved when you kind of were stepping back from somethings? It was interesting because it was the pandemic. I got to practice it a lot with. My own decisions and how I was spending my day and what I was 

giving my time and energy and attention to. So I actually got into the practice. Internally before I even had to start practicing it out loud where other people were concerned. And so it became, it just became a well used muscle and then when I would say. That to somebody, even if they weren't asking me something, they were just asking. You know, how do you do all of this work all day? Or how are you making these things happen? And I say. I am only available for what delays me, and this idea that you have absolutely delights me and they would gasp, ask me. Are you allowed to only do what delights you? And I say yes, and so are you. And then people would start saying it back to me, and they would tell me something that they had to do that they weren't looking forward to. And they would look to me and say no. Wendy, I know that you're only available for what delights you, but I actually have to go do this thing. So then I felt like, oh, you know, I almost have this. Not a responsibility, but I loved that it was a knowing that other people were having about me, that I had claimed this for myself, and it was attractive enough in concept to them that they remember. Yeah, it's really empowering because I think as women we just carry around so much crap, even if it's not about something that you don't want to do, even if it's about something you want to do, you hold back because of guilt and I don't know, self doubt and worry and fear you. You say no to yourself and by flipping it around like it's 

really hard, I think for women we beat ourselves up so much. 

Feel like we have so many obligations to others that we're not entitled. To do things for ourselves. We think right, we're not entitled, right. So I feel like the underlying. Principal for me was. Moving from a mindset that was really based in lack. To one of abundance. So I used to think that every opportunity that came my way that I was actually supposed to say yes to. Because if I don't do it, nobody else will. If I don't do it, this person's really going to be in a bad place. If I don't do it, you know it's going to be done poorly. Yeah. That right there, yeah. Right. And so when I. Released my control of the universe, yeah, but I am not the person that makes everything work out perfectly and really surrendered. Which I think is an impossibility. If you are still in a mindset of lack or not enoughness in any form, surrender is the last thing that you can imagine doing. Yeah, I, I, I, I understand that. I think, too, like what you said, like if if someone asks you to do something, you feel like, well, maybe I won't get the opportunity again. Maybe no one will ever ask me to do anything ever again. Yes. Yes. Right. So I have to do it because they said they wanted me and I must do it. It's that missed opportunity. You know, you feel obligated sometimes to do things that you have no interest in doing or want to do. But it's yeah, now it's 

taking away the time for you to do. What does delight you? Right. And the person who would really be a better fit. For that opportunity. Doesn't get it. They get the chance. Amazing. And even when you say it out loud, Lisa, doesn't it sound, well? She, she laughed a little when she said delight. Yeah. And even, like, when you say all these time we spend doing things we don't want to do, like that sentence right there. It's like, Oh my gosh, women, please. Why? Why, why, why are we doing things we don't want to do when it would actually infuriate us? If we saw our daughters saying yes to things that they did not want to do because it was crushing their soul, not because it's math or they want to. You don't want their homework. They don't want to clean their room. Exactly. 

So you're you have a daughter, a young daughter. So how are you, how are you filtering this into her life? Does she see? I mean, you must set a great example for her. She must see that and also have those moments, right? Like, please, mom, don't make me play soccer in the cold anymore. It makes doesn't delight me. I would have been happy if my kids had said that. Oh my goodness. Well, soccer. She and I were both the worst versions of ourselves. So we are. Never doing that again. And that was before, if I was in this mindset then. We wouldn't have even. Gone through the season, yeah, she thought she wanted to play soccer because she never had. And then when she got there, she realized, actually I don't like people looking at me. So I don't want to do this. It doesn't matter that it's soccer, it doesn't matter that it's a team, that all of her friends are on it. She doesn't. She's great at practice. Because it's just the teammates and the coach. But as soon as there's another parent or a grandparent on the sidelines, she that does not delight her. And the only thing that I want is for her to have a voice and an opinion and verbalize it and I want to support that and. I'm not counting on her to have a soccer scholarship, so this is not a hill I'm going to die on, right? Yeah, that's amazing. And from and from a place of abundance over lack. Is that if she doesn't? Want to do something that maybe is. More in line with the mainstream cultural flow. And she doesn't want to do it. I really want to investigate what's behind. That. 

Feeling for her and her opinion and I do not want to silence her just because this is the way we do it or this is the way it was modeled. I have to say as much as I didn't. Like it? It did not delight me waiting to be a mother when I had many ideas of when that should have happened. Parenting A9 year old? In my mid 50s is brilliant. Because I know you know things. I know things now. And I can tell her. When you know when she's in a conversation with her classmates or something's happening on the playground and she's. Telling me what's happening. And so I spent all recess making sure that Olivia was happy because she was fighting with Mave and I was going back and forth and said a million Jade Harrop, own your experience and let them own theirs. And you have the recess you want to have, and if nobody else wants to have that recess with you, you have it anyway. That's amazing, gosh. And if she is right and you can learn that as an 8 and 9 year old. Ohh, my word, she's gonna change the world. I know because you think back like what you would do differently in your 20s or 30s, even 40s, with that mindset. Like, I feel like Lisa, you and I have explored this conversation a lot in our podcast about like, you know, take those big steps and do what delights you and do what brings you joy. I think there's more of the words we use, but. I I wasn't thinking like that in my 20s or 30s. Really. I don't. I think I was like, do what you're supposed to do and work hard and, you know, I don't know, be a good girl, a good girl, and everything will be happy 

with what you have and do it the way you're supposed to do it and it will all work out. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds good in theory. But if you just flip it and you actually think about. What you want to create and what you want and what really? How you really want it to be and you put that in action it it's a completely different. It looks completely different, probably than what your 20s or 30s were, so to to still be able to take that idea in theory and apply it in your 50s is amazing. It's amazing. It is. And you know, only being available for what delights me and saying yes to myself and all of these things. I'm not a jerk. 

No, I'm not just leaving all my responsibilities behind and, you know, running to the airport. I'm curating the life that I desire. I'm creating. The days I want to have. And I'm owning that experience instead of waiting for somebody else to tell me. When I get to do the things I want, yeah. Next. When's that going to happen? Waiting for somebody, exactly. Nobody else is sitting around thinking of ways to make my life better. That's true. It's very true, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like if if we're always sitting on the sidelines waiting for something miraculously to fall in our lap. That's going to make us happy or whatever, really. Is that going to happen? Like you said, Wendy, nobody's. Oh, wait a minute, let me look Wendy up today and what do I need to do to make her happy? Right. Yeah. Well, not only that, I don't think we do that enough for ourselves. Like, don't when do you ever sit back? Go, well, what's going to really delight me or make me happy? And I mean, you might think about it. You might be like, I don't like this job or I don't like my relationship with so and so, but what are you going to you? Don't really sit back and think of it as a totality. Like, how can I make this better for myself? How can I make decisions that are going to move my life in the direction that I want? It doesn't happen overnight, but you don't really ever stop and think about those things in that way. I don't anyways. I don't know, no, but I think that's probably one of the. The stoppers is because when you if you're taking that moment to say what's gonna make me happy. It is too broad. Perhaps it's it's too generalized. And then. You're still stuck in the same place that you were. Like there's no answer to that question when it's so. Limitless. Maybe narrowing it down? 

I think there are so many great ways that you can do that as well. And one practice is to have a journal and every morning start with I want and just write 3 pages of I want, I want 30 minutes more sleep, I want someone else to make my breakfast, I want you know, whatever, just kind of just in a brain dump of everything that you want. And then the next day start your journal I want and just write, write, write, write, write and you don't have to reflect on it until the end of the month. After 30 days, read through your journal and just circle anything that you repeated and just look at what are those things. Are you wanting more freedom in your schedule? Are you wanting to feel like? You have a voice. Are you wanting to? Paint are you wanting to garden? Are you wanting to follow some dream? You're wanting to travel? I truly believe that if these dreams are in us, these dreams are for us and when we can make space for ourselves. And identify what those things are and then not get caught up in how we cannot. The how is not your responsibility. Ohh. Gosh, it's your response whatever. Relief, right? I was just going to ask, how do you mean? How is that not our responsibility? It's just not so, especially in this part of the process where you're trying to figure out what you want. It's OK. So you know if you're building a house. You don't start by talking to the contractor. 

You start by talking to the architect, so you want someone who can capture the vision of what's not. Already there if you're talking to the builder who's only thinking of supply chain issues and that's hard. And one time I had to do that and I didn't like it. And so I'm going to say no, that's not possible. Like, we're not talking to the builder, we're talking to the architect. So just let yourself dream. Let yourself. Have time with that dream. Give yourself space to figure out what it is that would delight you, how you can say yes to yourself and you don't have to figure out how you're going to make this. I want to buy a Chateau in France. Thing happen? You just do the next right stuff. I mean it. If that's not to say you don't have work to do, the how is not my responsibility, doesn't mean it's just going to magically appear in front of you. You have to have the steps to go forward but some. But you have to have the belief that it will work as you are working towards that goal I would think. And you want to take inspired action, not massive action, right? So you need to have time and space with that dream. You need to not I don't want to say you need to what I what my practice is I. Identify something that delights me, and there are many things that don't. For example, I lead these beautiful trips to Paris, just like you're going to do and. Everything that is a. We see who play a yes please like those are the things that I say yes to. But if there was another trip that somebody was offering to NASCAR and 

got to be in the pit and get. Personalized overalls or whatever you got to do in your picture with that one guy, whatever. That would not be a guess for me because that. That doesn't delight me. So it's not like you're just going to be frivolous and just throw your yesses around. You're going to be discerning and you're going to be intentional, and you're going to know because you already gave your your time and space to identify. What one thing you would really like to do is and then. Walk toward that thing and if you feel like you don't know where to start, then. Meditate, pray. Journal, read. If it's trap that has to do with travel, then start listening to a podcast or watch a show or follow people on social media that go to that place and just. Be more in the energy and proximity. Of people doing the thing that you want to do. Because them doing it is not mean that there's less for you. It just means they're showing you what's available to you. You're not. Yeah. It doesn't take away. I think women have a weird competitiveness with each other, you know, it doesn't take away from anybody else. There's so much room for everyone to do what they want to do, and it does. It will come to you if you. Have that. Those moments and understand where it's coming from and why you want to do it and be able to express that. People see that as genuine and and people respond to that I think. Plus you'd have your own spin on it like this, bits and pieces that would be like when you you take 

women on trips to Paris and and that's something Pam is going to be doing. But I don't think you could probably could compare the two other than that you might be in the same country. Any and we're drinking a lot, so there's a couple comparisons. Yes, there's so many comparisons. You know it, even if it was the exact same itinerary. It still would be different because Pam is bringing Pam and Wendy is bringing Wendy. And that is, it doesn't matter the the market is not overly saturated for anything that you want to do because you are the IT factor that makes it different through that. Yeah, I like that. I like that. So, so when he tells us about your podcast, because I I do listen to your podcast. I love the guests that you have on. Just give us a little. Taste of who you invite on and what you guys talk about. I love the podcast so much. It is the easiest thing that I do of all the fun and fabulous things that delight me that I do. That's the thing. And I started this podcast. Well when I started a podcast actually let me back up. I was Co hosting it with a woman who owns a Chateau in France, Jane Webster, and I was actually telling her about my idea to start a podcast and. In about 15 seconds of saying that. We created something together that we started and that was really fun and definitely made me. Get the bug that I really loved doing this and when it was no longer in alignment for her and her schedule, she stepped away 

from wanting to do that and she sent me that. Note at 5:00 AM. And by 5:45 I had rebranded the podcast to say Yes to yourself. I was just a few weeks away from. A second trip to France for the year. I was there in the spring with my daughter for seven weeks and then spent the month of September in France and a part of marketing my trip to. The women that were going, I was. Telling them when you're not saying yes to me by coming to Paris on this trip or the Schumer team, you're saying yes to you and our yes. Is a yes for all of the women that were collaborating with the chefs that were visiting the bakers the. All the dreamy people that we were collaborating with on these trips, they had all said yes to themselves and we were getting to experience that. So there was just this ripple effect. So when. Jane had broken up with me and broken up with the podcast that morning. I just went to my practice. I went into meditation. I went into prayer. I am a student of a course in miracles. And that particular lesson for that day was I am determined to see this differently. So instead of thinking, oh darn, I really like doing this. And now this person doesn't want to do it anymore. So I guess it's. Offer. I rebranded it and amazingly enough, there is not another podcast called Say Yes to yourself. Which was yeah, but perfect. Because if 

these dreams are in you, these dreams are for you and I. Had 10 interviews lined up. That morning. Wow, because I just started thinking who do I know that saying yes to themselves 

012345678910 and seriously, in conversations I would say with 95% of the that I just find myself in conversation with. 5 minutes in, I'm asking them if I can interview them for the podcast because because really so many people are. Practicing saying yes to themselves either on purpose or unconsciously. And I want to celebrate that. I want to celebrate that you buying flowers for yourself. Is saying yes you using the beautiful French soaps from Pam shop, but that is you saying yes to yourself. You're taking the long way home so you can drive on that street. That just makes your heart swell. That's saying yes. And then so is, you know, picking up and moving to Paris. Yes, I think. I think people need to realize that there's little yesses that count. Ohh 100% it's how you you don't start. Running a marathon the day of the marathon. Right. You have to train. Yeah. And I, I'm just thinking like, you know, personally, like just how you said buy the flowers. I do that, right? Like take the long way home because you like that route. I do that. And like, I never would have tied that into saying yes to yourself. But yeah, the reason that you do that is because. It's you're obviously getting something positive out of it. So yeah, you're saying yes to yourself. Just labeling it differently makes 

a huge difference. And when you come back from an experience that you've said yes to yourself. Everybody wins. Your energy is cleaner, you're happy, you're filled up and you know so. So many times women are just giving and giving and giving and we hear like you can't give from an empty cup and. But we say that and we know that, but very, not very often do we do something about that. And I have heard someone, I can't remember who, I heard say this. So this concept of giving from your saucer. So you do all the things that fill your cup up, so much so that it's overflowing, and then what's actually on the saucer is what you give. Oh wow, that's amazing. Like you said, everybody wins, right? Like, because if you're fulfilled and satisfied and happy and you're seeking joy for yourself, a you can have the other people in your life do the same exact thing. For themselves, but also you're in a better state of mind. You're in a better place, right? In order to to be. You're not because you're taking care of your soul. And we've talked about this and in previous podcasts about the fact that if you're a happier person. Than those around you benefit. And then it just keeps bouncing back and forth. Yeah. That's a great, that's great. I love that sentiment. I hope people listen to your podcast, Wendy. I hope they really tune into that positive message. I think it's really fantastic and I want to ask you where, where can people find you and tell us about some of the things that you have coming up in your in your business. I'm on Instagram most of any of the other platforms, and that is at the Phineas Wright House. And 

I have what do I have coming up? So I will be in Paris or in France for the month of August. I have a couple of trips. I have a mother, daughter experience in Paris that will be at the beginning of August. I have a culinary. Trip in the second week, which will be in the Schrant merit team. My friend is a chef and he retired and moved to southwestern France about five years ago, and we are working on a cookbook project together, so we are filming and photographing portions of this cookbook that will be presented seasonally. So we are doing that in every season. So we'll be there for the summer. So excited and then I also have. A farm stays. So here, if you don't want to renew your passport and you would like an authentic New England experience, you can come and stay at the Phineas Wright house and you can either do a reading retreat where you just curl up in the library with your book and nobody bothers you, or I can do what I do on my trips, which is curate an entire itinerary for you and. Just give you a really lovely experience. So using my years as a wedding planner of creating these beautiful days that have lots of different vendors or different things that are incorporated into that. Then that's what I'm doing for my guests on these trips as well as the farm stays. And as you mentioned when you were reading my bio, I just want people to feel welcomed and anticipated 

and celebrated. Even when they're not the girl in the big white dress. I love that. I love that word anticipated. That really rings true to me. So they can stay and like come stay at the barn and like feed your chickens and take walks in the woods and. Yes, and garden. They can be in the garden. I grow cut flowers for florists, so we have quite a flower field situation happening. I do floral design workshops in the barn, so there are lots of wonderful things to be a part of. Or you can just watch me do it because it delights me and that that would delight me watching you. yeah And I'll shake up a garden inspired craft cocktail for you. There you go. Here, that's perfect. Busy Lady Wendy, do you also have the entertaining with ease? Subscription. Don't you also do that? Yes I do. Yes, my membership. So this offers all the Members one dinner party a month. And so I. Show the menu, I provide the shopping list and then there are prerecorded, sometimes live video tutorials of. Every element of the meal. So I show you how to make it, and the community is. Available for Q&A. If you get stuck with a recipe, you can contact me. And then we also do one tablescape, so I'll show you how to set the table for that particular party. And that's really, really fun. We're having a great time in there that's that's such a great idea. That's a fantastic idea. Like it? For people such as myself that are much more visual, like you could buy a book or read 

up on it on the Internet, but watching it would be a game changer and just like you could plan your own trip to Paris. But you don't want to. 

You want some? No. You want someone else to curate the experience that you want to have and you. You don't want to look through fifty of your own cookbooks or be on Pinterest for a day. You just want someone to tell you. This will work. It will be delicious. This is how you do it. It is. It's not a 30 minute meal. That's I'm kind of the antithesis of a 30 minute meal. So it does take time, but I try to keep a very low skill level because I want people to actually do it, and I just want to be able to show how approachable these things are. Without having to do all of the research. It's an easy one. Yeah, yeah again, fantastic idea. I could be a great student as long as I can watch. 

Well, Wendy, thanks so much for spending some time with us today and talking about your philosophy of, you know, saying yes to yourself. I think we all can learn a lot from you. And just that approach to life, we really, really thank you for, for being here today. Thank you. It was a pleasure. Really was lovely talking to you. 

So that was really fun talking to Wendy, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah. I really like her energy. She got her. I guess she's gonna say that her energy, her energy is just like a kind of coming off her in waves. And it's very inspiring. But it is that time of our podcast where we need to wrap things up and do our hot flash of the week, right. Throw that one to you, Pam. Flash. You start with the hot flash. Well, we talked about it a little bit in the conversation with Wendy today. I haven't really announced it here, but, well, I did announce that I wanted. To do it, it was a goal for next for this for 2023, and I've actually kind of made it happen. I just kept kind of working the what I wanted to do and I'm I'm offering a tour to Paris, France in late May, early June this year, as well as in October. You can find information at oliveandbranch.com and I'll leave a link in the show notes so you can easily get to the. Linked to the trip details, it's a woman's only trip. It's fully curated by me and led by me. We also have other guides coming on to take us to Champagne region. They're going to take us on a cooking tour as well as we're going to man March and walk around there. We're going to be doing a little flea market thrifting. We're going to be going to the the OR exhibit of Christian diors life's work. It's going to be a fabulous. Trip filled with champagne, lovely women, and just a really nice time to get back and relax. And you can definitely say yes to a trip to Paris because it's it's a lot of fun. So that's my hot flash. I welcome you to reach out to me if you have any questions about the trip. Happy to answer anything. And if you want to join us, please go to that link and put your deposit in. That would be amazing. Well, that's really exciting. It's the trip, of course is exciting. But you know what I find more, more exciting is like something. That you wanted to do and you've you're making it happen. Well, to me too. I forget which episode. But we talked about like having fear hold you back. And I've wanted to do this for years, and I've always just been afraid to do it or put it together. What if nobody wants to go? What if this, what if that? Well, what if everybody wants to go? What if it's going to be fabulous? You know, like, 

what if it's the opposite? Turn it around. Make it a fabulous positive experience. And for me, just getting it out there is a win, you know? So I am. Super happy that it's it's been curated and it's ready to be offered to everybody and I. It's going to be a fabulous time. Yes I think it will be. What about you? What's your hot flash? Well, it it actually kind of ties into a little bit about you know our whole episode that we just did with with Wendy going back into something we had talked about at the beginning of the year. You know what what's your intentions? What's your goals? What do you want to work on you know, for the upcoming year and I I realized that. It's something I have to kind of keep looping back and tying into because you kind of forget, you know, you gotta remind yourself, yeah, you really have to kind of like reroute yourself periodically. So I actually, earlier today, I went and I relistened to our inspirational podcast about, you know, getting and staying motivated. And sometimes I think I get and probably other people do too. You would get a little discouraged because things aren't panning out, but it's also. It's been you know we started this new new journey or the New Year in January 1st January 2nd January what 29th. So it's not like all hope is lost in the year is gone right. So I think I have to revisit I that's what I did. I kind of revisited and I saw and I listened to myself and I had you know wrote things down journal if you will a few things. I you know like it's good to go back and revisit that and I see that on my I am on that path that I set for myself. Amazing. So I'm really. One-on-one hand, I was feeling discouraged. But then when I kind of like play it back and and look at some things a little bit more Crete concrete and, you know, tie in that factor of the time and like it's been 4 weeks. I'm doing it. Look at this, look at this rock in 2023. You're meeting your goals. I mean my goals, what is happening 

to. I know and it's only the first month. Thanks so much for listening, everybody. We will talk to you next week. Have a good weekend, everybody. Bye. Have a great week. Bye.