180. Guest: Scott Parker - From Sobriety to Successful Entrepreneur

Scott Parker shares his incredible journey from bar owner to sobriety coach, helping others regain control of their lives. He emphasizes the importance of understanding oneself while navigating through the challenges of alcohol use, especially for entrepreneurs. 

• Scott's initial struggles with corporate jobs and desire to become an entrepreneur 
• Launching his first bar after achieving sobriety 
• The role of observing alcohol's effects on others in reinforcing his commitment 
• Transitioning into sobriety coaching and its impact on others 
• Importance of developing accountability and self-discipline in sobriety 
• The connection between entrepreneurial spirit and addictive personalities 
• Personalized approaches to sobriety and questioning one's relationship with alcohol 

If you or someone you know is dealing with alcohol problems, make sure to reach out to Scott for support as the New Year begins.

https://www.scottparkerbrands.com/

Chapters

• 0:00 Entrepreneurial Journey and Sobriety Over Drinks
• 12:42 Entrepreneurial Challenges With Addiction
• 18:05 The Connection Between Addiction and Entrepreneurship
• 23:25 Building Successful Partnerships in Entrepreneurship
• 26:59 Creating Accountability and Discipline in Recovery
• 31:51 Navigating Sobriety and Transformation

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Yeah, it's Mindset Cafe. We all about that mindset. Gotta stay focused. Now go settle for the last. It's all in your head how you think you manifest. So get ready to rise, cause we about to be the best. Gotta switch it up. Gotta break the old habits. Get your mind right. Turn your dreams into habits. No negative vibes, only positive vibes.

Speaker 1: 0:19

What is up, guys? Welcome on another episode of the Mindset Cafe podcast. It is your boy, devinin, and we are joined and I am honored to have him on the show.

Speaker 1: 0:31

Scott parker he is an entrepreneur, he is a restaurateur, he is a sobriety coach who's built an honestly an impressive portfolio over the last 25 years of business, you know, in arlington, all the way to the greater, you know, washington DC area. And after getting sober in 2010, scott really gained the clarity and took action and really turned his vision into reality that he has, you know, envisioned and now, through his sobriety coaching program, he's basically been able to help other entrepreneurs and business owners take control of their drinking and really unlock their full potential. So I'm looking forward to this. I know you guys, it's the new year, so if this is an issue that you know, you or someone that you know is dealing with. You know, this is the time to make sure to share this episode with them. So, scott, thank you so much, man, for taking the time out of your day to hop on the Mindset Cafe.

Speaker 2: 1:21

No, thanks, devin. Appreciate it, man, great to be here today. Mindset cafe.

Speaker 1: 1:24

No, thanks, devin. Appreciate it, man. Great, great to be here today. So let's dive in a little bit. You know let's. Before we dive into you know the sobriety and all that, let's dive into your, your backstory, right? You know what led you to start. You know becoming an entrepreneur, right, what, what was that initial? I'm gonna become an entrepreneur. Entrepreneur, you know. Light bulb for you.

Speaker 2: 1:42

Sure, yeah, I mean, I think part of it was just how much I really couldn't stand nine to fiving and office jobs after college. You know I got out of school in 2005. So, co-working or not co-working, teleworking, teleworking and working from home wasn't really a thing that I found myself in one nine to five after another, really just not enjoying how I was spending my time. And I was kind of in my young to mid 20s. I just had this vision that I wanted to be a bar owner. I had worked in restaurants my whole life and I was still kind of promoting then and bartending then and I'm like you know what I can't stand these jobs that I have. I got to find a way to be an entrepreneur and do my own thing or I'm just going to be miserable for the rest of my working life.

Speaker 1: 2:26

So was there an incident? Or because I still remember, like the day and the exact incident, that I was like F, this I'm doing it, I'm jumping full ship. Was there that, like you know, bridge, that all of a sudden you're like this, is it?

Speaker 2: 2:46

I think it really was just how much I hated my first job. The first job I had was selling insurance. So I had to sell auto insurance, home insurance, over the phone. You know something that people you're talking to on the phone really don't care about. I had to wear a suit there every day. I only made it, I think, six and a half months before I quit the job and I actually developed ulcers at one point during the job because I was so miserable sitting there all day and I think I just kind of was like almost having a breakdown at that point. I don't know if there was any exact moment, but it was sort of a really bad six months of just like I can't do this the rest of my life.

Speaker 1: 3:16

So you had to wear a suit, even though you were just calling people on the phone.

Speaker 2: 3:20

Yeah, yeah, it sounds crazy now in 2025 to say that, but that's exactly right. You had to wear a suit every day. There would be times, you know, maybe once every couple of weeks, once a month, where you would see a client face to face to get them to sign their documents, but the great majority of it was actually fax machine. You were still faxing stuff back then, but fax machines and over the phone and people signing online. So we were never seeing people and we were wearing suits every day to the office. It was absolutely miserable.

Speaker 1: 3:49

I mean, I'm in the fitness space, I own a gym and a gym franchise and so just wearing a suit in any form or fashion, unless it's a wedding, I'm not wearing a suit.

Speaker 2: 3:59

I tell people now, the only time I'll put on a suit is for a wedding or a funeral. Outside of that, I'm never going to do it again.

Speaker 1: 4:06

Yeah, but I mean I do again. I do get the concept of wearing a suit even though you're making phone calls. It's like when you look good, you feel good, you do good that whole thing. So I get it. You look professional, so you feel professional, and so I could get it. I mean I would be like you and be miserable, but I could get it, so you. So you had that job. You felt miserable. Then what was the first entrepreneurial step for you?

Speaker 2: 4:32

Yeah. So I was 24, 25 then, and so I went back to what I knew best, which was waiting tables, and I didn't know anything then about getting investors or bank loans or anything like that. So I basically just started waiting tables and bartending, but also working through other nine to five positions for about six years of working two to three jobs, and I saved all you know all the money that I needed to until I had enough to open my first bar, which was in 2012. And I was 30 years old then and opened my first bar, and you know that was the first project I did, you know, entrepreneurially, and it was, you know, a real, real big success. And from there I started to figure out, you know, kind of, what else can I do in the entrepreneur space?

Speaker 1: 5:11

Okay, so you went the bar route, you know, and then was it like a bar restaurant, was it a dive bar?

Speaker 2: 5:19

What kind of no, this was a full on bar. It was I don't know what you want to call it a party bar. It wasn't a club, but it was Friday and Saturday nights nightlife, sunday fun day. We would do over 1,000 people for Sunday brunch and turn it into a day party Sports. We also had happy hour, a little bit of lunch, a little bit of brunch. So we did a lot of everything but it was a very, very sort of raucous wild party bar back then.

Speaker 1: 5:55

I got you. So was that, was that the initial start of the drinking, like for you, or was?

Speaker 2: 5:57

that already a problem kind of leading into this. Yeah, so the interesting thing that is that I actually stopped drinking two years before I got my first bar. So I drank from like 17 to 27. And then I quit when I was 27 and a half, almost 28. And then I finally, once I got sober, got my act together and ended up opening a bar, which is really strange because, you know, I had just given up drinking and now I opened this bar. That's like this crazy party place. But you know, it really helped me focus on executing the business side of things and also just seeing people partying all the time and kind of seeing what it does to them at times really helped me stay sober in a way, because I realized I don't kind of want to go back to being that way, you know.

Speaker 1: 6:34

No, I get it. I mean I've been DD before. I mean when I was in college I was in a frat and everything. So I get it, you know. And and when you're, when you're sober and everyone else is wasted, it is the most annoying thing sometimes to deal with your friends when they're wasted, and so I get it. But yeah, I mean that is kind of crazy that that was the concept you went with, because I'm sure when you opened the bar you weren't like this is gonna help me not drink, right? So, like, what was your thought process knowing that you just, you know, became sober? You're two years into sobriety, which I mean my mom was an alcoholic, so I mean I completely know what it's like, or at least from seeing it in dealing with all my life. So what was that initial thought process? Because it couldn't have been. This is going to help me not drink.

Speaker 2: 7:26

Yeah, that's exactly right. I think what it was was that it's just what I knew best. Le know, leading up to that, I was also in a frat in college. I was sort of the social chair, so I had a lot of experience throwing parties. I also had a lot of experience promoting events. I would promote bars and clubs in the DC metro area in DC, and I had worked in restaurants and bars my whole life and I kind of had built this social group of people that went out, people that you know wanted to go to events, want to go to parties, party buses, you know stuff like that. So it's really just what I knew best. You know it was.

Speaker 2: 8:00

It wasn't that tough because I kind of made my mind up on the drinking thing.

Speaker 2: 8:03

I knew I wasn't going back. I didn't really feel sort of you know, a craving for drinking or like I was ever going to slip up and drink and and so what I knew best was bartending, throwing parties, promoting events and and so, even though it was kind of a, it was strange to a lot of people, a lot of people to this day, when they asked about my first place. It was called A-Town and they're like you never drank there and I'm like I never drank a sip the whole time we owned the place. It's it's shocking to them because of how, how you know wild the place was and what a party spot it was, but it really kind of locked me in and gave me the the discipline, business-wise to do it successfully. Um and again, it was just what I knew best from a business standpoint was events, parties, you know, promoting that kind of stuff. So really it was still kind of a natural fit from a business standpoint, even if it wasn't a natural fit for my personal habits no it.

Speaker 1: 8:50

I mean it like a funny analogy to kind of compare it to. It'd be like, you know, don't get high on your own supply, kind of thing. So you know you're thinking of it from like a a business standpoint. It's business, you know. This is what I know. This is where you know I'm comfortable. And I do agree that every day, every single day, that you didn't drink while you were there, because it was an opportunity, you know you're the owner. You could, you know, have a drink if you wanted to. I mean, obviously it eats into your profit, but you, every single day, not drinking, only reaffirmed, you know, day after day, how strong your commitment was to being sober. So I do commend you for that, because that is not easy, you know that is.

Speaker 2: 9:31

I appreciate it. And yeah, not easy, you know that. That is, that is I appreciate it. And yeah, that's exactly right. I mean I would see what alcohol does to people on a daily basis. And it was kind of put me in this weird place because a lot of people knew I was sober and that I was starting to work with people to help people get sober. So I would have some people who were my own customers then turn into the guys who were asking me like hey man, like I know you don't drink, could you talk to about it? How'd you do it? That kind of stuff. So it's like I'm kind of playing both sides, like on one side I'm serving alcohol, on the other side I'm helping people give up alcohol and I'm kind of just like in the mix.

Speaker 1: 9:59

You know, on both sides there so you open your bar right and then how long after did you really dive into? Like the sobriety coaching program?

Speaker 2: 10:09

Yeah, so I was sober two years before I opened my place, and within a year of being sober, I was already working with one or two guys. So I kind of was doing it at the same time.

Speaker 2: 10:20

right when I was opening the bar, I was already working with some people and then I just launched, you know, my sober program locked back in, I call it. I just launched that professionally about three or four months ago and that's because as time went on, it was more and more people I was working with, mostly men a couple of women along the way, but more and more guys really reaching out to me over the years and finally I started to realize, like you know what man I'm doing this so much anyway, I'm really helping people. I think I've got a little bit of a knack for this. Maybe I should launch it as a full-on coaching program and see if I can help, you know, guys around the country, around the world, potentially that I don't even know, and so that's what we've started to do. But I was always doing it, I think right from the beginning when I got sober. I remember helping one of my friends who stopped probably six months after me, and then over time it's been a bunch of guys along the way.

Speaker 1: 11:08

No, that's. I mean, that's awesome. So I want to dive into that a little bit, like how you know you're, we'll go into the coaching program and everything as well. But I want to know your story on your obstacle of overcoming alcohol Right Cause it. I mean, obviously I have my mindset on it, but I'm I don't have that that crave for it, but watching my mom go through it and stuff and seeing other people go through it, some people can just quit things cold turkey, but not everyone Right. And so what was your initial battle? Was it a cold turkey or was it, you know? Did you try to stop, kind of you know, fall off the wagon a little bit, come back on, and then you know how was that.

Speaker 2: 11:51

Yeah, sure. So I actually stopped for a few months when I think I was about 24 or 25. And then I stopped permanently when I was almost 28. But I wouldn't say I was on again and off again, because the first time I think I just knew I was taking a break. And then for the last few years I think, I just knew deep down I was so sad, I was so heartbroken, I think by alcohol, and just knew that like man, this isn't for me. I got to stop this somehow. This is hurting me so bad. And so eventually I did just stop sort of cold turkey.

Speaker 2: 12:22

I attended a couple of classes as far as AA and I definitely met some great people there and learned a lot there.

Speaker 2: 12:28

But I never worked the steps, I never had a sponsor, I never stayed in touch with the people there outside of just sitting in on classes from time to time, and it really was just me developing sort of the you know the wherewithal to do it on my own and in my own mind. And you know that was at the end of a 10 year career. I started when I was 16 or 17. You know I drank hard almost every day, probably for those 10 years until I was 27. And I think that even when I was 17, 18 years old, I already knew like man I like this way too much. I'm really obsessed with this drinking thing. I think I'm almost already addicted within a year or two years of getting into it, and I think I knew I'd be a problem drinker my whole life if I didn't find a way to figure it out and luckily I did. But it took 10 years and it took sort of some of those really sad dark times and a rock bottom moments to get me to that place.

Speaker 1: 13:15

No, I definitely hear that. So I mean for me, though, like I get it, you know, especially in the frat scene, you know, being in a fraternity, like, believe me, I was the same. It was, you know, 17, 18, we were drinking Monday through Friday, you know, saturday and Sunday we were drinking, drinking, you know, and it was like for me it it almost almost helped Because I got burnt out, like I didn't want to drink anymore, like it was just like it was the same thing over and over for me, and then also probably the fact that you know, my mom was an alcoholic and seeing that kind of deterred me from doing it, but it it got old quit for me, you know. But that's not.

Speaker 1: 13:52

I have friends that you know, still go just as hard and I'm like that, honestly, it's kind of impressive, you know. But, um, I want to, I want to ask you your perspective on something, because you, being a sobriety coach and digging into the mindset, like something I really like to do, is like really think about the analytical side of things. So a lot of people I have heard, right, not a lot of you, I've heard from a few people that basically something like a, a or something like you know, therapy, where it's consistently bringing up the topic, always brings the topic to for the foremind and it doesn't allow you to overcome the obstacle right, because, like, do you get what I'm saying? Or yeah.

Speaker 1: 14:38

So what are your thoughts on that?

Speaker 2: 14:40

I do get what you're saying, you know. I think there's something to be said for it. It's like we are what we obsess over and whatever we think about the most will become right. So it's like do you want to spend all of your time thinking about I can't stop drinking, I can't stop drinking, I can't stop drinking. Or do you want to start to think about other parts of life or open your mind to the possibility that you can stop, or what you want to do now that you have stopped, and stuff like that? I think analytics and you have to think through the problem. I think that's the biggest challenge for everybody.

Speaker 2: 15:11

I think for a lot of people, a traumatic event or something from their past is what they're using alcohol to bury right. Whether they had a really rough childhood, whether some specific event happened in their life that they just can't get over. A lot of people have that thing that they're trying to get through. I think what's most helpful for people is realizing what that is. So whether something really bad happened to me when I was a kid or some insecurity that I had, or really thinking about that, more so than even thinking about the alcohol itself, is really what's going to help you get through it. For most people it's very rare that someone just has no issues you know, personally, mentally and they just got way hooked on alcohol. Usually they're doing it to push something else aside or to hide something about themselves or to get over something right. So I think that's really what should be addressed.

Speaker 2: 16:03

Most of the time I do hear what you're saying. I think you know sitting around talking about just the drinking itself all the time can only take you so far. What you'll hear is it's not just about stopping drinking, it's about learning to live without alcohol. So I think really focusing more on that and how to live in the future, and then also focusing on what has happened to you in the past those two focuses can often be a lot more important than just thinking on the drinking itself. You can develop systems to keep yourself away from the alcohol and a lot of people can get off the alcohol, can stop drinking. But then it's how do they develop the mindset and the strength mentally to keep going forward once they've put the alcohol down, so that they don't go back? And that's really the biggest challenge.

Speaker 1: 16:50

No, I agree, that's exactly where I was meaning to go with it, and you said it a lot, a lot better than I was, you know, asking the question, but it was like there's so much more to life and if you, you know people that are still going to AA after 10 years and they haven't had a drink in 10 years, it's like you're still bringing up the fact that you're drinking. It's like and you're living proof of that, right. So transitioning now into the coaching side of it, right? What do you think are some of the biggest challenges that maybe entrepreneurs face when it comes to drinking or just addiction in general?

Speaker 2: 17:25

You know, I think for entrepreneurs just their general makeup can be a challenge, because someone who pursues alcohol or has any sort of an addictive personality, they're pursuing it all the time, they're almost aggressive about it. It's something they do religiously, consistently. That's sort of the makeup of an entrepreneur. An entrepreneur is someone who gets after it. They are whatever they do, they're doing it full tilt, right and they're and they're doing it every day and they're doing it as aggressively as they can pursue it.

Speaker 2: 17:53

A lot of times an entrepreneur is the same type of person that is a problem drinker, because you're just doing something all the time. You have an obsession with something. You're pursuing something so aggressively. So I think there's definitely something to be said that people who are successful entrepreneurs, successful aggressive business people, they often have that same makeup of an addict where, like, I'm going to do this all the time, I'm going to do this a hundred percent, and that's certainly what it was for me. You know, like, anything I do, I'm going to do aggressively, I'm going to do it every day, I'm going to pursue it, you know, very passionately, and that's sort of the same thing as someone who has a problem with drinking as well.

Speaker 1: 18:31

Yeah, no, I agree, and that's. I think that's honestly spot on. Like, every entrepreneur that I've met and that's in my circle has an addictive personality, and that's why their businesses are successful. Because you're addicted to your business, you're addicted to winning right, and that can definitely transpire in other areas. So, whether it's you're addicted to your, your personal development as well, you're addicted to fitness, you're addicted to alcohol, you're you know it's we already tend to have the addictive personality. It's just where you kind of harness that energy into what? What would you say? Cause I mean me, like even myself, like I'll drink. If it's, it has to be a very special occasion for me to drink, right, but it's just not because I have a problem, just because I just personally don't like it. But for someone that maybe doesn't know that they have a problem, what would you say they may want to think about? Or, if they're questioning, do I have a problem? What would be the first question you ask them?

Speaker 2: 19:28

Yeah, I think I always tell people that I'm talking to you. Know, what do you? How do you feel when you have a really honest conversation with yourself and you say to yourself, am I happy all the time, or how often am I happy around alcohol? Like if someone says to me like you know, I only drink a few nights a week and I only have a few drinks and I feel good when I drink and I don't have much of a hangover and it never makes me upset or hungover or sad and everything's fine. Well, that's great right, but there are a lot of people who are sort of these weekend warriors who are only drinking, you know, on a couple of days a week, but when they do they drink way too much, they're hung over, they're upset. When they do, maybe they have a fight with their significant other and they're doing it just because it's something they've done for 15 or 20 years, or they're doing it because everyone else, they know, drinks, or on the weekends there's nothing else to do, or every time they go somewhere socially, to a dinner, to an event on the weekends, everyone else is drinking. So that's why they are, and people never really stop to take an inventory of themselves and their drinking habits and say wait a second, is this making me feel good? Is this adding value to my life? One thing I'll always say to people is sort of the percentage thing is like when I first started drinking at 17, it was like maybe 99% good and 1% bad. So like nine percent was like everyone. My age is drinking. It's brand new. It's super cool. It's so fun. Everyone's doing it together. We're all enjoying it. Ok, maybe once in a while I either get in a little trouble or I drink too much and I get sick. But I'm young, my body's processing it. I'm not hungover. I'm doing great, like everything's great with it, right. And then, as I got to 27, it kept sliding and sliding and sliding. I got to be 27 and it was like maybe one or 2% good and 99 or 98% bad, right and like okay, I feel good for the first half hour hour that I'm drinking. You know it's all fun. But then after that I feel bad. I'm not who I want to be. I'm hung over. It's making me sad. It's hurting my body at this point, you know. It's making me do things I wouldn't do. It's making me say things I wouldn't say. I'm becoming a person I don't want to be, and so very easy for me to take the inventory in my 20s and say like all right, this is barely any good left and a lot of bad here at this point, right, and so I think what I would always recommend to people is just be honest with yourself. And how do you feel when you're honest with yourself about it? And so many people these days, as they get older, are saying like, honest, you know, I really took time to think about it and drinking is doing almost nothing for me at this point, like it's hurting me in so many ways, it's so much bad and it's so little good. But I actually never stopped to think about it just because everyone does it.

Speaker 2: 22:14

You know, everyone, I think, agrees at this point that alcohol is one of the most dangerous, or if not the most dangerous drugs on this earth.

Speaker 2: 22:17

But it also happens to be a legal drug. And so because it's legal, you know we, we think that it's OK to abuse it and, you know, let it hurt us at times and be hung over, but if it was anything else but a legal drug, you know we wouldn't do that, right? Like I'm always saying to people, like if you made a new friend and half the time the friend was, you know, good to you and the other half the time the friend was like smacking you in the face or telling you that you're a bad person or saying terrible things to you, you would cut that person off instantly, right, you wouldn't even think about it. You'd be like why do I need this friend? This person's hurting me, this person's hurting me. But because alcohol is so socially acceptable and it's been in our lives for so long, it becomes this thing that we let hurt us, because you know, we're so used to it and because everyone else is doing it as well.

Speaker 1: 22:56

No, yeah, I do agree with that. And just because something is legal doesn't mean it's good for you into that, because I mean you mentioned you know a friend kind of thing. You've built over 25 business business. I want to go on a tangent and we're going to circle back. You go over you know 25 businesses. You know what's your secret to creating, maybe, a successful partnership, or to find someone that is going to align to be a successful partner yeah, that's a great question.

Speaker 2: 23:25

When I first did restaurants and bars, I did that because it's what I knew best, and everything that I've done since then has been generally because someone else knows it best. So we launched a small chain of barbershops. We've launched a small chain of dog daycares, we have a small boutique boxing studio that has a couple of locations, and so I'm approached by a lot of people these days who want to open brick and mortar businesses, which is what I tend to do is brick and mortar and retail locations, stuff like that, and what I'm always looking for is really just a couple of things. First off, do I think that this person is super passionate about what they do and they'll really work hard at it? Do I think they're an expert in what they do, that they really know this industry or this business inside and out? And then, third, are they just a good person, an honest person that I can trust? And if I can line all those things up, then I'll pretty much jump in, probably much faster than most people would, and that's been a real secret to my success.

Speaker 2: 24:22

The barbershops that we opened we've got three of them. Now we're getting ready to open a fourth. They're absolutely, you know, I would call it without being, you know, not even about me, but more about my partners. I would call it the best barbershop uh, you know, chain in the dc metro area, and that's because when I met my two partners, one of them was cutting my hair at the barbershop that he worked in. He's like hey, can we talk to you outside of here? We met outside of, uh, you know, the haircut.

Speaker 2: 24:45

We met and he told me what they wanted to do and they were just two really good guys, like really good people, who had a combined, like at that point I think, over 20 years of of experience working in barbershops and cutting hair, and so for me, it was kind of a no brainer Like these are good guys who I can trust, who are going to work hard at this, and they're also really good barbers who really care about their industry. And you know that was 2018. And fast forward to today, the brand is on fire and we're getting ready to open our fourth shop and it's just a really successful brand because of who they are as people. So I'm looking for people who are experts in what they do and really talented at their craft, and then I can bring my stuff to the table, which is the branding, the marketing. I can bring lawyers and accountants and I already know how to build out spaces with contractors and architects and stuff like that, and we can team up and work as a team and build something really successful.

Speaker 1: 25:34

No, that's that's super awesome and I think that's that's huge Cause. Even when I'm bringing on a new franchisee like we're opening up in Tampa and I'm in California, one of my things aligned with what you're saying is if I couldn't have this person at a family barbecue, like I'm not bringing them onto my franchise system.

Speaker 1: 25:50

You know, like that's just, that's just one of those critical things for me. You know it takes just like you were saying, like they're good guys, like it's like who would you want to? You're going to. I mean you're creating a, not a marriage, but a marriage in a sense. So it's like you know you have to really think about that. So I think that's that's awesome, that you've kind of really expanded your thought process and didn't just bring people on to be one of those entrepreneurs or investors. That's just, you know, bringing everyone on trying to create a huge portfolio, just because it's like you actually have established values within your, your portfolio. So that's super awesome. So, circling back for your from your partnerships do you have any partnerships that have been a result from your coaching program?

Speaker 2: 26:34

So not yet. I don't think so. I've started to talk to a couple of different guys but I think most of the people I'm working with are still kind of finding themselves. You know, we've only been live with the coaching program for about four or five months now and you know I just had a guy move to Miami to sort of make a life change, another guy making some different business moves, but no one yet that I've partnered with from the coaching program to work on this stuff.

Speaker 1: 26:59

Okay, the reason I ask is because, like going back into the addictive personalities, you know you might find someone that already has that addictive drive and you know that that is kind of one of the key elements to success or potential success. Right, what is with your clients in your coaching program? How do you help them really dig into the accountability and discipline of it though? Because, like with AA and stuff, I know it's like you show up to the meetings and that's the accountability. The discipline is, you know, kind of formed in the same fashion of the steps, but are those the best methods? Not, in my opinion. I feel like there's other ways to really create self-accountability or self-discipline on top of, you know, the peer accountability and discipline. So how do you and your coaching program really develop that?

Speaker 2: 27:51

Yeah. So the first thing we'll talk about is where they drink, when they drink and sort of some of their triggers. So one guy, for example, I'm working with he was spending like $3,000 to $4,000 a month on DoorDash cocktails, basically ordering DoorDash drinks from different restaurants and bars, and so a very easy step there is just deleting his DoorDash app. That was the first thing. The second thing for him was getting it out of his house. So the first thing from a discipline standpoint we worked on was you can't use delivery apps anymore and you cannot have alcohol in your house under any circumstances, and so we sort of made his house his safe place and we've even. He's a high performer and a hard worker and likes to go to bed early, and we've even said, like, look like, we know honestly, for maybe most people, bedtime is nine or 10 or eight or nine, whatever it is, but for you, like, if you get off work at five or 6 pm and you feel like you're going to drink or something, as crazy as it may sound, it might be 530. You just got done work. Our first step is for you to go to bed right there, because you don't have alcohol in the house, you're not going to have a way to get to it. And when you're in bed you can watch Netflix or you can mess around on your phone or whatever, but like this is like your safe space. And so we developed sort of a strategy for each person to have a safe space around where they're going to be so that they're not going to drink. And if they have this certain group that they usually hang out with or this certain place they usually go to that they drink, they're going to have to cut that stuff out, at least for the first bunch of months until we develop real discipline to make sure they're not going to drink. You know, the second thing is we'll do either weekly or biweekly zoom calls where we'll get on there and talk about how things have been going for them and them, and we'll always leave that call by us both agreeing and me saying like, look, our next call is a week from today, you know, on Thursday at five again. Whatever happens over this next week good, bad, ugly, whatever you got to promise me you're going to get to that next call without drinking. And when we load up the zoom and we jump on this zoom call, we're both going to celebrate and be happy that you didn't drink. And if you do have a challenge, you know, this weekend or sometime next week, you have my cell phone, you can call me and we can talk through it real quick.

Speaker 2: 29:50

So I will make my cell phone available to these guys so that they have a weak moment. They're like man, I think I'm going to drink or something's going to happen. They'll contact me and the great majority of the people I work with, I would say, are closer to like a problem drinker than a full blown alcoholic. Like I don't know if I'm qualified to help someone. If they're waking up in the morning and chugging a bottle of vodka and drinking all day, every day, that person really needs probably more medical help or to maybe go to a facility for a few months or something that's a little bit above my pay grade.

Speaker 2: 30:18

I tend to work more with guys who are, like I said before, the weekend warriors, who are just drinking to a point on the weekends or certain nights where they're not happy, and I can get them over the hump with a couple of conversations to the point where it'll change the way they see alcohol, it'll change the way they think about their problem and we can usually get them to a place where they'll make it through the week and they won't drink. But if they do have a weak moment, or they're in a certain place or they're at an event, they don't feel good. They're at a wedding, they're feeling good and we move on from there.

Speaker 1: 30:56

No, definitely yeah.

Speaker 1: 30:57

And I think if someone is waking up and starting off drinking and they're that heavy of a drinker it's you almost need to go to a facility.

Speaker 1: 31:04

Because one thing I've seen again from my past is you know there is alcohol, there can be alcohol withdrawals, right, and that is a real thing, and depending on how severe like they actually can be, dangerous too. So you know someone that's at that level. It's like you know you do need some professional like attention while you're doing this first transition and then, after you make it through that first transition, then your coaching program would essentially keep that discipline and accountability where they're not physically confined into a facility, because then it's like, once you have freedom, it's like you can't, just you're not ready to be completely free to your own devices. I guess to a degree. So one thing, one thing I want to ask because I mean again, not knowing personally, only from you know textbook and from other people saying, but with your clients or from what you've experienced, they say that there's a 21 day hump right when you're trying to curb cravings. Is that in your opinion? Is that true? Is it longer, is it shorter?

Speaker 2: 32:12

Yeah, I think it. I think it all depends on the person. I think it's very situational. Um, I think sometimes when people have a rock bottom moment or they're so just disgusted with alcohol, they can almost be ready from the beginning to just say like enough, right. Um, how long the actual cravings last.

Speaker 2: 32:30

I don't know if 21 days is something that I would say is I've seen at least.

Speaker 2: 32:35

But I would say, yeah, the first month or two is when you really are feeling the cravings and then after that you've gotten through it and you can have a different mentality around it. But I think it really depends on where people are mentally and emotionally with it. Some people will have brutal cravings and really want to drink, you know, much longer than 21 days. You know, as months go by, other people again will be like just so sick of it all and so ready to move on. That you know I've had some clients where by the time I start working with them, they're already a month or two into not drinking and they're like ready. And I tell them, like you're the easiest client I've ever had because you're ready to do this, like you've already got the mentality. Now we're just going to continue and develop tools to help you keep that going, but you're already like so far along, so I don't know if I've seen enough to say that 21 days is like the craving timeline.

Speaker 1: 33:29

But I think it really differs for each person, at least that I've worked with. Oh no, that definitely makes sense. I mean the craving thing. I mean I was coming from more of my fitness side. Again, I don't know how much it tied into addiction, but I know for people when we're like from when I was doing personal training and even now with the gym, it's like when people are starting a nutritional plan. It's not like a you know, crash diet or anything. But when you're starting to change those things and you're cutting out certain things, you'll get those cravings and and you know, for for different sweets or sugar and stuff. You know for 21 ish days again also, it does depend on the person, but that's usually a number you can tell people and they're like okay, I can do this for 21 days you know, Um.

Speaker 1: 34:00

So what is the most rewarding part, in your opinion for you? Helping people through you know their sobriety with your coaching.

Speaker 2: 34:11

Oh man, I mean I think you know I just think the other businesses that I'm a part of we can offer different services, but with this, when you help someone get over their drinking problem, it really will change their life. Get over their drinking problem, it really will change their life. And you know, there's no feeling like that in the world when someone can be healthier, be happier, be a better family member, be a better business person, whatever their goals are, it's rewarding in a way that you can't even explain. It's like every business and service is providing something right. Your people are coming to you for something. They're getting something out of working with you, or they're getting a product or they're getting something else. But when you can really help someone put their drinking program problem aside, it's rewarding in just incredible ways because it really will change their life. And then for each person where they go with that will be different.

Speaker 2: 35:03

Some guys may just to the fitness aspect. Some guys may just start working out a lot more and get in the best shape of their lives. Some may develop a better relationship with their partner, their spouse, whoever it may be. Some will see their business go from you know here all the way up to here because now they're thinking clearly and they're pushing harder than they've ever pushed before. And so you know, each person and where they go with the sobriety and how it impacts their life is different, but it's definitely going to impact their life. I mean, there's just no way that someone can have a drinking problem and be drinking a few nights a week or every night, or a bunch of nights, and then all of a sudden be sober, be clear-headed, be making better decisions and not just take off. They will take off and do better and that's like a feeling like you just can't believe. When you get on there and how happy people are, you feel like you're making a difference and that's incredibly rewarding, for sure.

Speaker 1: 35:52

No, I definitely. I hear that. I mean, that was one of the things that when I had my personal training company before the gym, that was something I told people that there's a side to it that's more than just money and financial. It's the rewarding feeling that you get when a client comes to you and they want to show you their progress picture, they want to tell you the good news that they just dropped the size and pants and whatever the case may be, and there's no feeling like it and the feeling comes from a place of seeing them proud or the pride they've developed in themselves and the self-confidence that they've built in themselves and knowing that you were able to have a positive imprint on their life. You know that is going to change their relationships, their life and all that kind of stuff. So that's so awesome.

Speaker 1: 36:37

So the final question I want to ask you. You know I like to ask everyone this and I like the authentic answer. So that's why I didn't give it to you ahead of time to think about. But on Scott's legacy wall you get to leave one message right. That message could be in the sobriety realm, it could be in the entrepreneurial realm or it could just be in general. But what would be that one lasting message that you would leave for the up and coming generations?

Speaker 2: 37:03

I guess it would be. You know, just really get to know yourself and be honest with yourself about what you want. I think there are so many things that are grabbing our attention in the world these days, or vying for our attention, that we all oftentimes end up in these situations or in these paths career paths, life paths that we really don't want to be in and I think that if we don't stay true to ourselves and do what's really in our hearts and really ask ourselves it could be do I really want to continue drinking? Well, maybe I don't. Do I really want to continue on in this career? Well, maybe I don't We'll end up spending our lives in ways that we really don't want to spend them if we don't stay true to ourselves. So I think it would be get to know yourself, them if we don't stay true to ourselves. So I think it would be get to know yourself, be honest with yourself and do what's best for you would be the lasting message.

Speaker 1: 37:49

No, that's awesome. Well, where can people connect with you or, you know, find out more about what you have going on with? You know the sobriety, coaching and and everything, especially if you know, with New Year's, if that's some of their New Year's resolutions.

Speaker 2: 37:59

Yeah, sure, so the easiest place are, I guess, my website and also my Instagram. So my Instagram is just my name, scott Parker, and then my website is Scott Parker Brands B-R-A-N-D-S. Scottparkerbrandscom. That has a bunch of information on the companies that I'm a part of and that I've created with my friends and family, and, of course, my Instagram, scott Parker. You can hit me with a DM. I always get back to everybody and look forward to connecting with more folks out there. Awesome.

Speaker 1: 38:23

I look forward to connecting with more folks out there. Awesome, and guys, if you guys need that, it'll be in the show notes. If you guys are watching on YouTube, it is also in the description. If you or someone you know is dealing with alcohol problems, make sure you guys send them over to Scott, because it is something that is difficult to deal with, especially on your own. So I know at firsthand from my past dealing with my mom and stuff like that. So I know if we had you know from my past, you know dealing with my mom and stuff like that. So I know if we had someone like Scott, you know that could help outside of AA, I think it would have been a lot different.

Speaker 1: 38:51

So, Scott, I commend you for everything that you are doing. Man, Make sure that you guys you know give this episode that five stars and share it so that the rest of your community can hear and benefit from it as well. But, Scott, thank you so much for taking the time. Thanks, Devin, Appreciate it. Man, We'll see you next time. Bye, Bye, Bye.