193. The Hedonic Treadmill

Breaking free from the endless pursuit of goals that never seem to satisfy—that's the challenge we tackle in this thought-provoking episode about the hedonic treadmill. This psychological phenomenon explains why we quickly adapt to achievements, with happiness returning to baseline levels shortly after reaching our goals.

Remember that promotion you worked tirelessly for? Or the fitness milestone that consumed your training for months? Why did the thrill fade so quickly, leaving you asking "Is this it?" The answer lies in our psychological wiring. We're designed to acclimate to changes, both positive and negative, as a survival mechanism—but this adaptation can rob us of lasting satisfaction in modern life.

Throughout our conversation, we explore practical strategies to break this cycle. Rather than falling into the "never enough" mindset where accomplishments are immediately diminished by comparison, we discuss how to cultivate genuine gratitude for your progress. The key distinction between extrinsic goals (external achievements) and intrinsic goals (deeper purpose) can transform how you experience success. As Nicholas brilliantly puts it, pursuing endless achievements without appreciation is like "running after wind"—chasing something you'll never catch while missing the journey itself.

Whether you're building a business, transforming your fitness, or pursuing personal development, this episode offers actionable insights to help you experience more sustainable happiness. Stop diminishing your victories with "but" statements that erase your pride, and start celebrating how far you've come before setting new horizons. Ready to step off the treadmill and find more lasting fulfillment? Listen now and transform how you approach achievement in every area of your life.

Chapters

• 0:00 Podcast Intro and Topic Overview
• 3:25 Understanding the Hedonic Treadmill
• 8:09 Engagement Question: Reflecting on Goals
• 17:45 Achievement Hangover and Post-Goal Blues
• 24:30 Practicing Gratitude to Stay Grounded
• 41:40 The Danger of the "Never Enough" Mindset
• 54:50 Creating Sustainable Happiness Habits

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Yeah, it's Mindset Cafe. We all about that mindset. Gotta stay focused. Now go settle for the last. It's all in your head how you think you manifest. So get ready to rise, cause we about to be the best. Gotta switch it up. Gotta break the old habits. Get your mind right, turn your dreams into habits. No negative vibes, only positive vibes. What is up, guys? What is up guys? Welcome to another episode of the Mindset Cafe podcast. It's your boy, devin, and we got our Friday Night Live co-host, nicholas. What up Today's episode is the hedonic treadmill breaking free of adaptations, right. So in this episode we are going to talk about that, nick. What does hedonic mean? I'm just kidding, I'm sorry, under the bus like that. I'm not even going to lie about that.

Speaker 2: 0:44

Nick, what does?

Speaker 1: 0:45

hedonic mean, I'm just kidding, I'm sorry, under the bus of that, I'm not even going to lie, trying to get creative with the titles and everything like that. I was looking up just a little more complex words and I was like that looks like a cool word, but essentially, on this episode, come on, bro, turn your shit off On this episode. This is what happens when you do a live episode. You know you get some of the wackos and then that that one across by the gym.

Speaker 1: 1:14

But the hedonic treadmill is, you know, the human tendency to quickly adapt to new achievements or changes, essentially.

Speaker 1: 1:23

So, basically, the thrills, fade and happiness kind of returns to its baseline, right, and so, breaking free of the adaptations in like this episode, we're going to recognize, you know why are you hitting the, your next business milestone or your fitness goal, and then once you hit that goal, it kind of leaves you wanting more, as in like this this was it, you know.

Speaker 1: 1:45

And so all of a sudden, you're, you're, you're happy, you hit the baseline. Or you sorry, you're happy, you hit the goal and all of a sudden it's just like you felt, you felt like you felt before and it's like there's no thrill, there's no excitement, there's no chase anymore, right? So we're going to discuss that and how the hedonic habit adaptation can, in other words, rob you of your lasting satisfaction. But, more importantly, we're going to share some motivational and research strategies to break you out of this cycle. I want you guys to learn some mindful mindset tips, you know, and I think that both of us are going to be able to provide you guys with some strategies and some tools and and stuff like that to really overcome this obstacle and get you off of this treadmill and on to the real treadmill the stairmaster treadmill to gainesville or the stairmaster or the stairmaster.

Speaker 1: 2:39

why the stairmaster? Because it's on an incline. Do you like doing the Stairmaster, where you know you step up and you kick your butt back? I know that. I know it's you putting the little leg straps on and you know your little glute kickbacks every other step with a booty band, yeah. So I mean let's dive in a little bit. And this one I want you guys to. You know, throw in your comments, throw in your stuff. We've generated some. We put together some cool questions and engagement things. Make sure you guys fucking engage, otherwise what's the point of a live episode? We could just do this shit and record it and post it for you guys later on. We want you guys to engage. Nick, do you want to hit them with the first engagement question? Real quick, I do.

Speaker 2: 3:26

Okay, so first thing is can you recall a time where you achieved a big goal and then thought to yourself Is this, it Was it, and what was it? And how did you feel afterwards?

Speaker 1: 3:42

Say it one more time. All right, just for just say back. I'm gonna say back.

Speaker 2: 3:45

Can you recall a time when you achieved a big goal and then you thought to yourself is this it? Well, what was it and how did you feel afterwards? What about you?

Speaker 1: 3:56

And if you, if you were, if you were in the comments, like the commenter should be, what would your answer be? Man?

Speaker 2: 4:04

that that's a hard man, that's a hard one Just because.

Speaker 1: 4:06

It is a hard one, but that's why it's hard for the other people too.

Speaker 2: 4:10

It is a hard one in the sense that if my genuine answer would be when I did hit a big goal, oh, actually, my answer right now is different from my answer back then. What is your?

Speaker 2: 4:21

answer right now, right now, when I reach a big goal or when I achieve something, you know, I do think like, oh, is this it? Like to like very, very, very to a very quick moment, like you know, is this it? I sit there and analyze, like you know, the feeling and like the, the benefits that I'm, that I'm getting from me achieving the goal. But then my next thought, right after that too, is one how can I excel this moment, or are there other avenues within this goal that I'm reaching that I can maximize more, or something that I can broaden this win on? So at least those are my thought processes at the moment.

Speaker 2: 5:04

Where it's when I think, you know, when I achieve a goal, a big goal, or hit a milestone or something like that, where I don't necessarily kind of downplay it or think like, oh, is this it? And it's like, ah, it's not what it played out to be. You know, it's like what you know, did I hit it to the fullest extent? And or like you know that I hit it to the fullest extent, and or like you know what, what's next? You know, I hit the milestone and hit the goal, but what is? What is there? Is there more and what can I achieve it? You know, those are my thoughts, my honest answer yeah, what was a time?

Speaker 1: 5:35

Can you recall a time that you hit that goal, or a big goal?

Speaker 2: 5:39

The bodybuilding competition.

Speaker 1: 5:40

Like that was a goal, you know, given the time crunch um, and because it's health and fitness related, that shit was like three years ago. Let's bring it more recent, okay, um, I just want to, I'm trying to get you. Yeah, no, I'm, I'm thinking because I mean, honestly, this is, this is one of those things, too, where it's like it makes you think and reflect, and not only do we reflect on like the big goals that you know, know, we strive for and we hit, but also sometimes, like even for us, like we opened a business, we launched a franchise, and it felt big in the moment when we accomplished it. And now we're here and it's like we're still doing everything we did before, right. And then we opened up, you know, tampa, and that was awesome, you know.

Speaker 1: 6:23

And then we opened up Dallas, know, tampa, and then that was awesome, you know. And then we opened up dallas, and it was awesome. But then again, a week goes by and then, all of a sudden, you're back to where you were in in terms of mentality, in terms of happiness, in terms of whatever. So it's like I mean, I can tell you right now for, like me, it was essentially the tampa, the dallas, like each of them, right, it was like the like, the build-up, the build-up that you get it and then you're set awesome. You know high five. You know you try to touch my butt and you know Just kidding the little. You know post game Good job.

Speaker 2: 6:54

He loved.

Speaker 1: 6:55

But then it's like all right, cool, then you're on the hunt again, right? So I mean, what was one of those things? And you can't use the two examples I just gave it there?

Speaker 2: 7:04

Yeah, definitely, like here at the gym, like you know, like, at least like from our standpoint as a business owner, like when we set goals for the gym, for the team, you know, to hit certain numbers, you know on a monthly basis or anything like that, like we have hit the goal, you know, and it's like we reached the numbers that we want to reach and stuff, and it's like once we did, it's like, oh yeah, good job. Pat on the back it did feel like that, though it's like you know what? Now I did also think like, okay, well, what's next? You know, like, can we increase? Like you know, can we set the bar a little higher, higher? But that feeling I do get and I can agree with that, like just like when you finally hit it, it's kind of like, yeah, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1: 7:52

So, no, definitely. So I mean, while you guys decide to answer the question that is on the screen that we were just talking about, um, you know, let's just dive into understanding what the hedoniconio treadmill is, right and the psychology or the name of it. Really the treadmill part comes from, essentially how a treadmill kind of inclines, you can decline it and so forth. Then it always comes back to whenever you get off, it goes back to a flat line, right, it's always going to come back to flat, right. So our tendency for our happiness is it always returns back to that base level, right, that that flat line of not homeostasis, but just like there's no, um, there's no, you know high anymore.

Speaker 1: 8:40

One of the things I was thinking you were going to say was like you got married. You know, that was that was something that I was thinking of. No, but no, worries, like I'll say it yeah, you got married, that's just you know. But it's like the build-up you're engaged and then you know you're doing all these things and then you get married and then because I can speak for my own personal experience too it's like you get married and then it's like the next day it's like there. There's a couple of days where you're like, oh, this is so cool, we're married. And then a week goes by and you're like, now you know you're calling a wife, but everything else is the same, right.

Speaker 1: 9:13

But in other words, we get used to new circumstances, we get used to achievements that we have. It just becomes, you know, something that's part of us surprisingly quick, right, and I think that's one of the biggest things is like what this kind of means is. Even after a big success or a major life change, your happiness kind of spikes up, and then it often is just temporary, right. So how do we start to understand that concept so we can try to eliminate it or limit it if you're not able to fully eliminate it? It's realizing sometimes that there is a next peak and finding what is your next peak, right, and always being on, I like to say the hunt right, of the next goal. But how we've talked about it's like there's always another level the, the personal development, the entrepreneurship, all that kind of stuff. It's a, it's an infinite game, right. There is no end destination, right. So just because you got got the achievement, you got the success, it's like there's another level to try to achieve for and strive for, and so forth.

Speaker 2: 10:28

Yeah, my take on that, you know, on, like, I guess, like a tool that we can start to practice and at least like be mindful of, is somewhat parallel to what you said, to the fact of Kobe Bryant had that saying that fuck, what is that? The destination is not the dream. I think you know what I'm talking about. He said something where the destination is not the dream, the journey along the way is a dream, but my point being, you know, like that, the happiness aspect of it is when we build up an expectation or you know that hype, right, and like, like you said, the, when you're chasing it, when you're hunting for it, you know it's like, oh yeah, it's gonna feel so good, it's gonna be like fuck yeah. And then when you finally reach it and when you do attain that goal, it just the, you know the, the feeling of euphoria isn't as like extreme as you would imagine it to be, and I think, if we look at it in hindsight, you know the struggles and, like the, you know the, the, the strength building, obstacles that we faced along the way, and the journey getting to the goal is actually what's going to kind of provide that satisfaction feeling, you know, and I think the happiness comes from you.

Speaker 2: 11:52

You went through all these things, you did the work, you overcame all the problems, you, you solved the obstacles and stuff like that, and you you get that feeling of like the accomplishment, and I think us thinking about and kind of understanding that that whole process is that thing to be happy about, you know, so that when you do set your next goal, your your next milestone, something that that it's not, you're looking so much for that happiness that, oh yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to get there.

Speaker 2: 12:23

You know, the happiness doesn't come from like the destination itself, it's like your road getting there and to me at least, like when I was saying that I was thinking like, yeah, I was, like the times that I was happy and like that did bring me happiness was, you know, the process, and I know it sounds cliche, but you know because, like I guess, like you can ask yourself like what makes you happy and everybody has their own answer right and like it could be feeling of fulfillment, you know, uh, being a contribution, providing service, like providing some kind of value to something else besides yourself, and I think to, well, not, I think I know, but to me it's like knowing that I put in the work through something, but is what makes me happy right, or knowing that I put in the work through something, but is what makes me happy, right or brings me that.

Speaker 1: 13:06

That's the satisfaction yeah, I think, I think it's important to note that it's not just, it's not just about essentially us doing work or, you know, just even goals like this can this can be applied to really anything in life, like think about, like. Apply to really anything in life, like think about, like, like a lottery winner right, someone who wins the lottery right, and you, when you purchase a ticket, you have high hopes and you're hoping, you're waiting for, you know the I don't even know what it's called draw day, or you know lottery picking day, and then all of a sudden, let's say, you win and then there's this huge high and you know you're, you're super ecstatic and everything like that, and then it starts to fade. It's like okay, now you, yeah, you're living, you're having other happier moments. You know, because of that, you know you're buying a car, you're buying a house, you're buying this, you're buying that, but those are. Why are you, why are you spending the money on those things? It's because it's giving you that high again. It's giving you that, that um, that effect that you got when you won the ticket. But then you get the car and now you have the car for a week and the car doesn't give you that anymore and then you get something else and that gives you the momentary satisfaction and fills that void, but it's knowing that those little things are only temporary and you have to find something that's going to fulfill that void or fulfill that drive per se long term, even as an entrepreneur.

Speaker 1: 14:47

We had the startup phase and we, we were day and night and I mean not to say that we don't do long hours now, because we definitely do but the startup phase was definitely a different kind of aggressive. Right, I mean right now it's aggressive, but in a completely different sense, right, and so the the time when we were going through that, it's like you're chasing it and you come out on the other side, we are able to hire trainers, and then you hit that level of, okay, cool, now it's not as as bad. And then obviously then you strive to that next level. But I mean, even think about it in like fitness, right, let's say, a runner trains to break their record, right, you know like you're about to do at the Spartan race, but then you know you are training for it. You're training for it. You know like you've been running like crazy, and I know members can't wait to see you out there on the course. I think I'm going to be sick that day.

Speaker 1: 15:47

But then all of a sudden you break it, right. And then all of a sudden, for a short time, you're in this like glory phase. Right, you're in this. You know I was going to say something else. But you're in this glory phase and then all of a sudden, it's like you broke the record. Cool, are you going to be one of those highlight reel kind of people? Or you know, back in high school I was the. It's like bro, you're 40, like that shit. That shit was 30 years ago or, yeah, no, 25 years ago. It's like come on, next step, what? What's the next peak? What's your now moment? Right, so why do you think that we adapt? Why do you think we adapt to new achievements? Why do you think that we adapt to those wins? I guess Does that make sense?

Speaker 2: 16:39

Yeah, and I'm honestly trying to break that thought process down. And honestly, I think it's because when you set a bar like a goal or something, you're trying to a destination, it's like you're working towards it and you're trying to get there, but then when you do get there, it's not that it becomes your new maintenance, but it's like once. I think that's just how we were fucking wired as, like humans you know what I mean it's like once we get something, it's like, to a sense, like we take it for granted, or it becomes, you become like numb to it. You know what I mean. Like, and like what you said, like, like about like the people, like the fitness aspect of it, like olympians, like how it's like they train all their life, they devote all their time, literally like everything in their life revolves around that, but then, however successful they are when competing in the olympics, it's like as soon as it's done, are when competing in the olympics, it's like as soon as it's done, they have that. What, what? Now, right, and I think the fact of us just kind of like having something when it, when it's already in our grasp, we don't practice enough gratitude or appreciation, you know.

Speaker 2: 18:01

Or another example, you know, for an or analogy for maybe people can resonate with better is like a car.

Speaker 2: 18:07

You, you save up for a car and it's like you get this brand new car first week or first month. It's like hell, yeah, you know you riding around getting it, um, like you have your windows down, bumping music and stuff like that or whatever, and it's like after a certain amount of time goes by, you just treat it like all your other cars and it's the value, isn't. The value may not be the same as it was, like right, when you first bought it. You know, and I think that's just us as humans, like we, we tend to like again, like maybe take things for granted is one way I can put it or once we're, once we finally have it, you know we're looking for just that next thing that's gonna give us like a, that excitement you know, yeah, I mean, honestly, I like what you're saying because I think it is true, right From like a psychological and even like a biological standpoint, like, as humans, we're wired to acclimate to changes.

Speaker 1: 19:01

right, working out, it's hard when you first come in and then all of a sudden you start working out. For a little bit of time it gets easier. All of a sudden, you, you turn, tune up the workouts, make them a little harder, and they're harder for a time, but then your body acclimates to those difficult, you know workouts and now they're not difficult anymore, right, um, but from and I think that's just like from, like almost an evolution, right, it's like we're wired to be thrilled for, like the hunt, and then the hunt is over and then your, your mind naturally sets on like the next goal, the next task, the next thing, right, but if you're not giving yourself that next thing, the feeling and the drive and the motivation all kind of be fleeting, right, um, but I mean they're like from what I was researching, like some researchers kind of set it, or call it like the happiness set point, right, and so it's almost like a thermostat. Right, it gets cold, you know the, the ac or the heater kicks on, all of a sudden it gets too hot, the ac kicks on and it kind of brings you back to the set point. So one of the things that we have to try to do is move our set point right, because it's always going to try to acclimate to it, like, for example, you know, let's go for, let's go into that entrepreneurship right for us, for example, we're at two, we're at two franchises right. And so before, when we were at just us, that we were still happy, that we were growing you know our business and then all of a sudden we got one right and it was super exciting. But then our expectations and everything kind of gets set at. We have a franchise right. Now we're just this is our new baseline, and then we get two and all of a sudden it's all dudes, it's so cool and it's like boom, now our baseline is set here. So how do we adjust that set point without having to adjust necessarily like adding something else on?

Speaker 1: 20:58

And I think what you said was really powerful in terms of gratitude sometimes just being grateful and taking a step back, even a moment, just to realize the accomplishments, realize how far you've come, you know, can kind of readjust that set point to appreciate each goal as it comes and really, you know, appreciate the journey. Because again, at the end of the day I know for both of us, like that is one of the best parts, like the thrill is in the journey, the destination is awesome, but the journey is like you can see the progress, like when you're looking at a progress bar, you see it moving up, you know we're almost there, almost there, and so like knowing that progress bar should never end essentially it should always just almost get there and then it loads a little bit longer and you keep getting closer and it loads a little longer. That's why I kind of think that you should kind of view your set points at if that makes sense.

Speaker 2: 21:51

Yeah, and I think maybe another you know, like a side tool or whatever mindset is, the fact of it goes with our appreciation is appreciating. Appreciating, like the milestones and the goals that we achieve. Know for one, especially when it comes to fitness, like when you do achieve certain things, you know that you have to still put in the work, you know and you have to keep applying the habits and the routines and and the knowledge that you have, um, that you've gained right and that the work that you've put in, because it's something where, if you stop appreciating it and you stop giving the same attention and effort and stuff like that, just like you got something, it can be taken away, you know. So I think that's another, I guess, like way to measure ourselves, or at least check ourselves, to our mindset at least, to give more, be more grateful for the things that we do achieve and and understand that not necessarily, you know, kind of being, um, what is it called Not being content with where you're at?

Speaker 2: 22:54

Cause that's a completely separate thing. Cause, again, being content is like you're not aiming for more anymore or aiming for more growth and progress, but just being grateful and keep applying. You know, the, the work that you've done, you know, and it kind of is there more in the, in the current goal that you set? Is there ways to branch out you know what I mean or make even more off of the certain thing that you've achieved already? You know, because there's not just one way to, there's not just one way to get to a goal, but there's not just one. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 23:28

I had that worked out well, you know. To reasset our attention goal hit these yelps. No insults real quick, your boy people are just out there just. I got you. Don't worry, I'm not crying, you're crying.

Speaker 2: 23:59

Oh yeah, that's good that there's not just one way to get to your goal or achieve where you're trying to get to, but your goal too. It doesn't mean that one specific thing is limited to that one little avenue. You know what I mean. Like your goal can have many levels to it. There could be many tiers to your goal and appreciating your journey there can also mean expanding the levels of your goal, you know.

Speaker 1: 24:34

So I think let's dive into some signs that you may be on the hedonic treadmill, right? How do you know if you are caught up on this just endless belt of it? Right, and I think it really comes from your caught on this treadmill of never-ending desires, essentially, and some of the clear signs might be that you don't feel, or rarely feel, sense of satisfaction, right, you don't, you achieve your goal and it's like, okay, cool, it's like, that's it. Right, even after accomplishing your goals, it's, it's just not, it doesn't, doesn't really do anything for you, right? Um, like, let's say, you do achieve something great and then almost immediately you just think, well, what's next? Right, without even taking time to enjoy it, to have gratitude for it.

Speaker 1: 25:27

And I think that another sign can really be that, you know, you once dreamed about the things that now you take for granted. Right, for example, you had past goals that maybe you met and no longer really excite you at all and they've just become your new norm, right? And so if you notice that you keep raising your standards and you keep raising what it means to be happy or be successful, and you tell yourself, I'll be content or I'll be happy when I reach x. But then you reach x and you now set your sights on y and you constantly really compare yourself essentially to someone else, or you compare yourself essentially to this future you, it. It's like you can use that comparison essentially to fuel you or motivate you, but it shouldn't be something that's bringing down your joy, your gratitude, your happiness or anything like that right. So if you start recognizing that, I mean it's crucial. This is where the things that we've talked about reflection and analyze your day and all those kinds of things really come into play.

Speaker 2: 26:30

Right, and there's a question I do want to ask for the. You know the listeners Hit them with it, so let us know in the comments. This is a fitness related one. Have you ever reached a personal best? Maybe you were trying to, you know weight loss goal or a strength personal record, and found that the thrill faded quickly. How did you deal with that? Say it one more time I'm running back, so this is a fitness question. Have you ever reached a personal best Maybe you're trying to lose a certain weight or a strength personal record, and found that the thrill quickly faded once you did reach that. And found that the thrill quickly faded once you did reach that, and how did you deal with that?

Speaker 1: 27:13

put it in the comments. It is now on the screen um and so how did you deal with it? Okay, fitness one. Well, I mean, it was three years ago, but I'll go back to my other answer.

Speaker 2: 27:29

That's all right, I'll go back to you. Like that bodybuilding composition, right, given the task at hand was a short time frame and the required work that was necessary, which you very clearly stated right, you know it was hard and you know, kind of that built up and that hype of like damn, all right, I'm doing all this work, I'm like seemed like suffering in the moment. But you know, when you finally, it's like when I get there, when I get to that stage, it's going to be awesome, it's going to be this, that, this. And then when it finally happened, you know, as soon as it's like I was done and I was like damn, I was just like now, what damn, I was just like now, what you know, I was like what the hell do I do? You know, I did think like. I did think like okay, when's I should do another one, like what's when's my next competition? Or like, what are the things that I need to, what are the things I need to work on? You know, is there certain body parts that I need to gain more muscle on, et cetera, et cetera.

Speaker 2: 28:28

And it's like, but the thought of like that, that that hype was like it immediately faded. You know so, and like how I dealt with that, I set new goals. You know I and I'm not gonna lie I did appreciate it and I was thankful that I was able to do it. I was able to accomplish that task of you know, that short timeframe and being able to step up on stage and stuff, and I was grateful but honestly, I, I, it was something that was hard to deal with because the fact of you know, oh now I'm not prepping for something you know and I already did the task, it's like it. There was like that, like what we said, like that whole, like I didn't know what to do with myself as far as like fitness wise, in that moment.

Speaker 1: 29:12

I think that's actually an important part I wanted to talk about too is almost like this achievement hangover you get right. Or like almost like post goal, like blues, you get like there's just a feeling, like you said, you just don't know what to do. It's like you did it, you, you climbed the mountain, you got to the top and you're like, damn, where do I go from here? Right, and so sometimes you don't know what to do. Or the excitement of what you're doing, like, um, let's say, for example, a lot of people are getting excited about the spartan race. It's like you get all excited for the spartan race and you do the spartan race and it's like, oh, now what you know. So it's like you get all excited for the Spartan race and you do the Spartan race and then it's like, oh, now what you know.

Speaker 1: 29:52

So it's like, what are, what are some of those things that we can do to like really get over those unexpected lows that may come from, like even for us, like opening another franchise goes up, goes down. It's like you try to set your sights on a new goal so you can keep working, but don't stay in the I wouldn't say gratitude phase, but don't stay in the celebration phase too long. Right, because that that there's a window for that, and the longer you stay in that window, the worse the blues get, because now you're just celebrating something that you know is over, right, it's like even, for example, you got married, and it's like you celebrate you got married and everything like that. But then it's like, okay, now what's next? We got to start building a life. Otherwise, if we just celebrate that we got married for the rest of our lives, then we're going to stay exactly where we are Right.

Speaker 2: 30:47

And, damn, you made me lose my train of thought. That wasn't me actually, because I do like this actually. There's another question that I do want to ask, but I, you know, um, if you guys don't like the other question that I just asked, you can answer this one um, what's one thing you do regularly to keep yourself grateful and grounded? I like this one because it goes off of, like when we were talking about gratitude and appreciate, appreciating, like you know, your wins and like the journey. So the question is what's one thing you do regularly to keep yourself grateful and grounded? You know, um, maybe journaling, meditation, time and family, appreciating the, the wins and stuff like that? Um, I'm gonna answer that question first, but, like, what's something I do regularly to keep myself grateful and grounded is the time of family.

Speaker 2: 31:43

I would say time and family because I and, to be honest, like because a lot of the goals that I set and, um, the milestones that I try to achieve, I try to do it beyond me.

Speaker 2: 31:53

It's like, how can it benefit the people that mean the most to me, not just myself?

Speaker 2: 31:58

So when I do hit a certain milestone or anything like that, I try to, like you said, not bask in the celebration too long, but take a second to look around and observe and like appreciate, like the positive, the positivity you brought to everyone else around you or you know, whatever it is like if you, if it, if it's like a business thing, like when you achieve something like the gym, it's like what positive things that it bring to other people you know that it brought to someone else's life, like if you help someone, if your goal is to help other people and stuff like that, and then you achieve that goal and no matter how you did it. It's like taking a second and taking a moment to appreciate that and see, like, how it changed someone else's life for the better, right and the things that. How did it excel them, how did it help them progress and what other positive things did it bring to them and to me. That helps me keep me grounded and grateful for the things that I achieve.

Speaker 1: 33:01

No, I mean yeah, I mean the time with family, I think is a big one because, especially, like you know, being an entrepreneur and doing this is a big one, because, especially, like you know, being an entrepreneur and and doing this, we we're doing it for our families, you know, and for others as well, but I think for me too it's when someone asks, like, how things are going and I tell them the genuine answer of you know, oh, we, just, you know, signed on um a new franchisee in Texas. Their excitement even though my excitement has faded a little bit their excitement, their like wow factor, it kind of grounds me and makes me feel grateful again for that accomplishment, because it's someone else not giving you recognition, but giving the accomplishment itself, recognition where something now that you feel is just a new norm, you can kind of get that grateful sense again, if that makes sense, right. So I mean, one of the things that keeps me grounded is that Right, you know grounded, is that right. So not doing it in a way to like boast or brag or anything like that, but when you tell someone like you know, how's it, how's you know, strive, but have you opened a new location? I've done this, it's like, oh yeah, we just did this and then all of a sudden, they're super excited.

Speaker 1: 34:20

It's like it's like wow, sometimes it gives you that.

Speaker 1: 34:25

It's almost like you allow yourself to receive that compliment, receive that you know gratitude for where you are again.

Speaker 1: 34:32

But then, in terms of being grateful and and everything like that, the time spent with the family is the most humbling, because they they don't really it's not, they don't care about the goals, but like you're, you're never, you're not going to get too big for your family. So it's like the goals that you accomplish are awesome, they're happy for you and everything like that. But at the end of the day, when you spend time with them, it's just you spending time with them, right? So, again, like that's one of those things where I like to have have that time too, because it lets you put everything else that you're doing your wins, your losses, all that stuff kind of on the back burner and just be in the moment again. And then you get to be in the moment again of business or fitness or whatever. So it's almost like you get to put on different lenses and not staying in the same lens, which can allow you to essentially feel like this is just this is it. Does that make?

Speaker 2: 35:26

sense Now something that's like. I guess, like it could be related to you know, the pursuit or like, kind of like when you reach that, when you reach your goal or anything like that, the motivation aspect of it. You know, like when you're chasing towards something or when you're trying to achieve a goal, you're motivated to put in the work and, to you know, do the necessary steps. But then when you get there and you find out, when you feel that now what are like that plateau type of feeling, where it's like this is it like the hell, and we're not really showing appreciation or gratitude, that motivation factor kind of also declines, because then I guess decline in a way where it's like you're not as motivated to like, I guess, set another goal or reach another milestone, because then that feeling of like okay, well, this is how it feels it's like you know you're kind of you're going to be holding yourself back from being able to set new standards or at least even appreciate the moment, you know.

Speaker 2: 36:29

So I think I think that that's where like the like, discipline comes into play, because it, you know, when we're not as highly motivated, you can always rely on your discipline as far as like and what I mean by discipline too, is like understanding that all the work that's necessary to put in you got to do that. When you reach every milestone, not just a certain, you know, because then when we go based, strictly based off of emotion and feeling, that's when you, you know, you kind of set yourself up to not necessarily be disappointed, because when you reach a goal, you're going to be, you know, you're going to be proud of yourself, but same time for you to be able to keep excelling and growing and set a new goal, because then now you're relying on your current foundation, which is your norm, whatever you just reached, to reach new heights and new levels. So, I think, not always trying to rely on, like the motivation aspect or like the emotional aspect of it too?

Speaker 1: 37:27

no, definitely, and I do want to get a second to give a shout out to deco for throwing something in the comments based off your last question, right, dico said from the moment that I opened my eyes I thank god that he gave me another day. I look at my family and they're healthy and and alive, and for that I am grateful. I'm pretty sure that's pray hands, maybe that's um, but no, I mean, mean, it's true, sometimes just to be humbled or just to be, you know, kind of bring us back to essentially grateful, right and grounded. It's like sometimes you've just got to appreciate the small things, right, and again, like Diko said, just waking up and your family's good, they're healthy, nothing's going wrong, just that immediate thing. The first thing you can start your day off is with some gratitude right there, right, because I think that's something that we all take for granted, mm-hmm.

Speaker 2: 38:22

I like that word too humble.

Speaker 1: 38:26

Humble is actually.

Speaker 2: 38:28

There's been some like I thought you were about to say that Kendrick Lamar song Bitch be humble.

Speaker 1: 38:34

No, like it's crazy. I'm gonna look up the actual definition real quick, put it on the screen. Just kidding, we don't have a tech guy. But if someone is looking for, you know, interview or what is it called Volunteer hours? No, that's not. Or what is it called A volunteer hours? No, that's not a volunteer.

Speaker 2: 38:52

Intern hours.

Speaker 1: 38:52

Yeah, intern hours Hit your boy up, hit your other boy up, hit us both up, give you double hours. But the definition? So the definition right Having or showing a modest or a low estimate of one's own importance. That's what humble means, yeah, so, again, when people say be humble, or you know, I'm humbled, you're basically showing a modest or a low estimate of your own importance, of your own importance. Is that something you want to be?

Speaker 1: 39:39

Now, knowing the definition, for what? The? We don't use humble in that context, but that is the word of humble. I think we've kind of molded it. The other definition is a low social, um, admin or political rank, right lower in dignity or lower in importance. Yeah, so, knowing it that way, it's like you shouldn't be humble because you are important and you don't need to diminish your self-value, right, but in terms of being grounded, I had someone on the podcast the other day and they brought that up and I was like shit because I used the word humble and then they kind of threw that at me and they definitely shot the top of their head and I was like all right, shut up.

Speaker 1: 40:30

All right, you wordsmith. But I just had to bring that up too, because it was crazy. I was actually looking at it and I actually looked it up and then, when they recited the definition back to me like verbatim, I was like, all right, nerd, then watch this episode. But no, it's true, though, right. I mean we have to be grounded, we have to be present. We have to be, though, right. I mean, we have to be grounded, we have to be present, we have to be grateful, right, and it doesn't always have to be for big wins, it doesn't always have to be for big accomplishments, right.

Speaker 1: 40:59

Do you have a roof over your head? Be grateful for that. Do you have a car that you know? Do you have a car? Right, be grateful for that. And the more things you're grateful for, the more appreciative you are, the more things start to come around, right, because sometimes we dwell on the little things that didn't work out or the little obstacles that you know set us back, and now we kind of get in this mind frame of whether it's comparison or whether it's negativity, and now all the things that you should be grateful for you're just ignoring, right. So I want to kind of dive into. You know, we say never give up, and we've talked about the never give up mindset, but what about the never enough mindset?

Speaker 2: 41:44

that's not our slogan. No, right, but?

Speaker 1: 41:47

at the same time. I think that's important and I mean I'll let you, let you start with it, just because I mean my brain's been going on about it for a minute, but I want to kind of get your initial thoughts of it too, like because I think this is not just in fitness and not just in business, but in life. I feel that there's a lot of people that have this. You know, honestly, we might even just do an episode on it now that I think of it, but, like that, never enough, whether it's your goals, you achieving your goals, whether it's you as a person, right, what, like, what is the dangers in that never enough mindset?

Speaker 2: 42:27

That's a deep one, right? Yeah, that's that's actually deep one, right?

Speaker 1: 42:31

yeah, that's that's actually a wow like we won't dive too much into. But like, like, I just thought about that, like because of being on the get you know, having these highs and being on the hedonic treadmill and everything like that, and you do have these highs and everything like that, but are your highs being reset too quickly and almost diminished because you don't want others to feel, or you don't want others to see your happiness or see your joy, because you don't feel enough.

Speaker 2: 42:58

So we'll keep it in that context, okay so I'm gonna start that off by this, that saying or the things that we say, that, um, you know, like when you don't, when you don't push that, you know, like when you don't, when you don't push yourself, when you you know when you don't maximize, like, your full potential and stuff like that, you're going to.

Speaker 2: 43:17

You know you don't give your best, your best. It's like you're going to just sit there and watch your life go by, or you're, before you know it. I'm going to try, I'm going to try, I'm going to try, I'm going to try, I'm going to try, and then, before you know it, it's too late to try. In the same way, too, all the way in the other side of the spectrum, it's like if you just don't ever stop pushing, or at least like take a second and be, and actually not even be like realize the things that you need to be grateful for. It's like when is enough ever going to be enough? To the point where you're chasing so damn hard that it's like running after wind, what'd?

Speaker 2: 43:59

you say it's like running after wind. It's like you're pursuing something that you know, like you're chasing something that keeps on moving and moving and moving. So that's so fast that it's like you're never going to catch it and before you know it, and you weren't even grateful for it, that you just left every, everything that actually mattered behind. You know, like you never appreciated or you didn't appreciate enough your time with your family, bear like, enjoy the fruits of your labor and stuff like that, to where, yeah, you were working towards something and you're like trying to be the best version of yourself. But it's like in that pursuit it's like you never even get a chance to fucking appreciate who you are yourself in that moment. Or you know the person that you were, that you've become from the beginning.

Speaker 2: 44:51

You know it's like you're trying to grow so much that between that time, all the progress you've made, you didn't even get a chance to appreciate it. Or even just the people that are around you. There are the things that matter to you. You don't even. You don't even get a fucking. They don't even reap any benefit from it. That's my like, honest opinion on like you know never what is it Never enough?

Speaker 1: 45:18

Yeah, no. Honest opinion on like um, you know never what, is it never enough? Yeah, no. So I do gotta know. Did you hear that analogy somewhere? If not, that is fucking clever. What the running after wind? I just thought of it, right, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2: 45:29

Like that was fucking oh, I thought you were laughing because it's because, like you, know.

Speaker 1: 45:35

No, I was like I was like fuck, I like that one, that was good, that was fucking. That was in the Nick column, right there for sure. Cause when you said it I was like I was like damn, like that that makes a lot of sense. But I mean that's a great analogy, right? Um, that's why I laughed because I was like damn, that was, that was cool. Um, but I think that that never enough mindset, like when I was thinking of it too. Everything that you said I agreed with and like.

Speaker 1: 46:02

The one point I would add to everything that you said because I mean you covered majority of the things I was thinking of, minus the running after wind is the fact that it comes from, essentially, comparison too, right.

Speaker 1: 46:16

It comes from whether it's you just did your first 5K and someone else you know did a 10K right, and you're like damn, my goal or my accomplishment of 5K isn't enough to compare to their 10K. I'm not even gonna tell them I did it right. My 10K isn't anything to their marathon. I'm not even gonna tell them I did a 10K right and so we can kind of stack our accomplishments. 10k isn't anything to their marathon. I'm not even going to tell them. I did a 10k right, and so we can kind of stack our accomplishments and there's always going to be someone that's done more right, and if you're the person at the top of the pyramid, there's someone that's trying to beat you too right. So it's like you can't use comparison and you can't compare yourself and your journey and your accomplishments and your happiness to other people's accomplishments and goals bro, like what you just said it was.

Speaker 2: 47:05

It's so relatable obviously I'm not calling anybody out, but it is so relatable to the fitness aspect, especially in the gym, in our line, in our line of work, the conversations that I have with people like they're making progress and, like you know, for those of you that are listening, I hope this resonates with you to appreciate yourself, appreciate your fucking wins, because, like you know how many times I hear, often it's like they'll say they'll acknowledge that they made a progress and hit a milestone and hit a goal, and then the next sentence right after is a negative fact of like comparing something else, someone else, something else that someone did, or something from the past that they did. It's like, dude, if you're going to congratulate yourself and pat yourself on the back, like, take a moment to enjoy that, because it's whether you appreciate that or you didn't make any progress at all. You know what I mean. Would you rather have made those progress or you didn't make any progress at all and there's nothing to be grateful for Right.

Speaker 1: 48:12

You know what I mean. Oh, yeah, no, I think that if you're telling someone your accomplishment and then all of a sudden you're sent in the end with a butt, that's how you know you're on this treadmill, right? Yeah, I just did a 5k, but yeah, I want to do a 10k. That's the. That shouldn't take out the but I should have 5k. And now I'm going to start. I'm going to start training. I'm going to. I'm going to start training, I'm going to do a 10k. Right? That? Just that one removal of the word changes how you view your accomplishment. Right, because anything you said before but basically gets deleted, right, that's all. Now you've set that as a lower bar in your own mind.

Speaker 2: 48:53

Of that, not enough yeah right, and, and I think that's so dangerous because not enough, yeah Right. And I think that's so dangerous because I'm you know, it's not verbatim, but it's like oh my God, I just lost X amount of pounds. Oh my God, I just dropped this much amount of body fat. Oh my God, I fit into these clothes now that I didn't fit in before. But dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. What happens after that? What are the actions that happens after that? Since you gave yourself, you didn't take the time to be grateful for your progress and your win, and you gave the last part of your sentence and, and what your brain registered was that you are not satisfied with something. You end up going back on the spectrum and then you either fall off or you stop putting in the work. I'm serious because it happened.

Speaker 1: 49:33

it happens here all the time you know, and spectrum, yeah, exactly, and then what spectrum?

Speaker 2: 49:39

spectrum mobile and it's like they. You end up kind of shooting yourself in the foot or in the knee actually, because it's like then the next thing you do is you stop putting the work because you're discouraged. But there wasn't. You shouldn't have been discouraged in the first place because you were already making strides forward, you know. Yeah. So I think, like having that mental awareness to appreciate the wins, take them.

Speaker 2: 50:04

If you fit in something like if you made lost some weight, you drop some body fat and you know you fit into clothes that you didn't fit in before, fucking celebrate that. Yeah, you better wear the shit out of those clothes that you haven't fit in before and you better walk out with that big ass smile and the chip on your shoulder. Of course, there's many levels to it where your mind should be also, with enough time, it's like okay, what other new clothes that are less in size or whatever am I going to shoot for as my next goal? Be grateful that you achieved something. You better wear the out of that jacket, out of that shirt, out of that those jeans. You know like, oh my god, like I fit in these jeans. I didn't fit them before. Be happy about it. You know what I mean bask in the ambiance and then, given enough time, when you start to feel like you know it's time to set a new goal, then that's when you do it, you know.

Speaker 1: 51:03

Definitely. I mean, you got to realize, almost like you have to set not just I mean to what you're saying too. Like you know, I want to fit into and this is a conversation I had recently is that I want to wear, or I want to be, the size I was before I got pregnant, Right, and this wasn't Gabby, Right? Another one of my clients, and, mind you, she just had two kids Right, and at the time she had two kids, and so she was like you know, I want to be back. And I was like you're comparing yourself with a person that's never had kids. Your body is not the same, your bone structure is not the same, Right, and I'm not saying that you can't get back there, but why are you comparing yourself to someone that's completely different? It's like bitch. Are you in high school now? No, Then okay, Then let's focus on the now, right? You know you didn't have 80 pounds of muscle in high school either, right?

Speaker 1: 52:05

So a lot of people nitpick one area to compare themselves to, whether it's themselves at a different point in time or to someone else, and they're nitpicking one thing, and there's so many other X factors that you don't realize or you may not realize that is only setting you up for disappointment. Not saying you can't achieve that, but you comparing yourself to them and where you're at. It's just not logical, because their days are different, their lives are different, their interactions are different. You know all those things right. Focus on you. Focus on your goals. You should be setting intrinsic and extrinsic goals. What I mean by that is essentially you want to lose 10 pounds, right? Not you? Maybe you, I'm just kidding, Bro. If I lose 10 pounds, I'm going to disappear.

Speaker 1: 52:51

I was kidding. Yeah right, I'm trying to get your ass to eat, you know. But let's say you want to lose 10 pounds, right, that's your extrinsic goal, right, losing 10 pounds. But to re, not relive, but revisit why you wanted to achieve that, right, for example, tying it to us. We wanted to franchise, we wanted to, you know. So each location is an extrinsic goal, but intrinsically, we wanted to serve more people. And now we are, and that doesn't fade, right? So now, all of a sudden, you get to bring your level of happiness back up, knowing and realizing you've accomplished it.

Speaker 1: 53:51

You might not be at your end destination in your head it's instead of saying, but it's, you know, look, I'm here, I'm going to keep doing this because not only am I hitting extrinsic goals, but it's going to continuously grow my intrinsic goal or feeling or satisfaction. That makes sense, right? And so I think that's one of those things where continuous growth is a great thing. And not having complacency because we talk about this, you know, infinite line, but realizing that you have to have this sense of gratitude with it, and it comes from being able to reflect and know what is your reason, why you're achieving it. You want to lose 10 pounds because you want to look better. But what? What is that going to do for your life? What is that going to do for you mentally, for you, know you? You, emotionally, you accomplished it.

Speaker 1: 54:39

Now you're like, but I want five more. It's like, but are you? Are you happier than you were 10 pounds ago? Are you feeling? Do you feel healthier? Do you feel like you can move around a little bit more? Appreciate that, be grateful for that right. You may not be at your you know pre-pregnancy weight or your you know, college days, wait but are you better than you were then, better when you were when you started this journey to get where you are right now? Then why aren't you grateful for that right? Because you're better than you were a month ago, a year ago, it's like you could have been worse than you are or you could have been the same. It's like give yourself the flowers that that that's a good.

Speaker 2: 55:25

That literally hit it right on the nail. Be honest, you know, like be aware and be be you right now, you know, don't be you back then.

Speaker 1: 55:36

So I I mean, but that was on point I think that you know in in terms of like what we're talking about too. It's it goes into, you know, trying to create habits or create goals or things that can be sustainable in terms of happiness, right, and kind of tying it to what you're saying with you know the members that are talking about you know, but you know I want to lose this or but I want to lose this. It's like you're creating habits now that you're not going to stop, that is going to continue to give you that joy, that happiness that you know, feeling that you are improving right. Every workout you leave, you feel happier after the workout's done. You don't usually feel happy. Before the workout, you know you're like, ah, damn, I gotta do this workout right now, but afterwards you're like, damn, I feel good. So realize that you should be trying to create things that are sustainable in terms of happiness, not these.

Speaker 1: 56:38

You know quick fixes you lot. You know you basically start yourself. You lost three pounds. It's like that's not a habit. You can't sustain that, right. What is it happen that you can working out consistently? You know eating right.

Speaker 2: 56:52

These are all habits that you can maintain right yeah and like with that that, just that specific example, because it's like when you do a crash diet and everything, it's not sustainable and then when you finally can't sustain it, you're gonna go back the other way. You know you're gonna go back, or maybe even worse than where you were. Now you feel like complete shit and now it's gonna be even I don't want to say completely harder. But now it's like you know why set yourself up? Why have that? Why set yourself up to? You know, for disappointment when, when you set a goal, one set smart goals right and set smart, attainable goals, and the way you do, the way you take your steps forward and progress towards your goal should also be very mindful too.

Speaker 1: 57:35

So you know that way, when you do achieve it, it's not something that's going to cause more disappointment yeah, but I mean we hope you guys got some takeaways, got some strategies and maybe even some realizations and and to see if you're on this hedonic you know treadmill because I think that we all are at some point in our life or even if we do, are able to get off of it. Sometimes things happen, you know, we start comparing ourselves or we start, you know, not appreciating and almost having that, you know, not enough mindset, even if it's in a phase Right. So hopefully this gives you guys some strategies and give you guys some realizations to help you get off of that treadmill and just being more grateful and more grounded. Right, not humble, because we don't want you guys to be low, lower and have a lower view of yourself and self-worth. But you know, be more grounded, be more grateful and just know that we're here if you guys ever need anything, you know send. I mean be more active than you guys are in the comments. Say that, send us messages. You know we're more than happy to. You know. Send I mean be more active than you guys are in the comments. Say that, send us messages. You know we're more than happy to. You know answer anything you guys have. Throw it into the facebook group. You know any questions, any topics, anything like that more than happy to dive in as well.

Speaker 1: 58:50

Um, and make sure you guys, you know, even join the instagram community. I would say that's one of the biggest things we've been trying to post. You know, daily either daily quotes, daily tips and strategies and, majority of the time, a combination of at least two to three of them, right? So there's usually a tip in there, there's usually a quote in there and there's usually a tool or strategy that you can utilize for the day. So make sure you guys do that. You can also share the Instagram channel with others so that they can help it, because if you help other people level up, as a byproduct you're going to help yourself level up, right? You are the people that you hang out with. You are the people that you talk with, the five people that you spend time with you are that sixth person, right? So just realize we're here for you guys. We appreciate you guys, we love y'all and we will see you guys on the next one.