250. Kintsugi: Why Your Scars Make You Stronger, Wiser, and More Beautiful Than Before

A shattered bowl mended with gold can change how you see your own story. We take that Kintsugi image and map it onto real life: the breaks you want to hide, the scars you downplay, and the moments you thought would end you. Instead of chasing a spotless image, we walk through how to turn those cracks into visible lines of strength—proof that you’ve been tested and upgraded.

We dig into why scars are receipts, not defects, and how the people we admire earn our respect by showing the rebuild, not erasing it. Devin shares personal examples from launching Strive 11 and navigating a fitness dip that forced better time design. Together we unpack the cultural lie that “untouched” equals valuable, and replace it with a craftsperson’s lens: honor the break, highlight the seam, and build a vessel that holds more. You’ll get a simple four-step practice to apply today—name the break, extract the lesson, reinforce it with new behaviors, and stop hiding the seam—so resilience becomes a system, not a slogan.

By the end, you’ll have a challenge to make this mindset stick: write what happened, what it cost, and what gold you gained that you refuse to ignore. Share your seam with someone who needs strength right now. If this message reminded you that you’re forged, not fragile, follow the show, leave a review, and send this to a friend who thinks they’re disqualified. Your story isn’t over—the gold gets added next.

Chapters

• 0:00 Shattered Bowl, Golden Repair
• 0:52 Scars As Receipts Of Growth
• 4:37 The Kintsugi Mindset Shift
• 8:20 Real-Life Tests In Business And Fitness
• 12:45 From Broken To Forged
• 14:30 A Four-Step Practice For Healing

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:21

What's up, guys? Welcome to another episode of the Mindset Cafe Podcast. It's your boy Devin Gonzalez. And today, I want to start off with a visual, right? Before we get into the topic, right? Imagine you're holding a bowl and you drop that bowl on the floor and you're watching it shatter into a million pieces. Instead of throwing it away, you repair every crack with pure gold. That's Kinsugi. Right? And whether you know it or not, that's also your life story. Because let's be honest, you've been through some version of hell, maybe no one sees it, but you definitely feel it. And this episode is really about proving to yourself that what tried to break you is exactly what is qualifying you for what's to come. We're talking about your broken pieces. And the Japanese philosophy that says essentially you're not just fixed, but you're enhanced by what you've survived or what you've gone through, what fires you've been forged by, right? So the Japanese philosophy again is Kinsugi. It's the art of repo repairing broken pottery with gold, right? They don't hide the breaks, they don't pretend it never shattered. They fill the cracks with pure gold and they make those broken pieces even more valuable than when it was perfect before the cracks, before the breaks. And that's when honestly, it really like when I heard about that philosophy, I realized and I kind of sat with it for a minute and realized like that's us, that's you, that's you, that's me, right? So I want to kind of start off with the concept of like your scars are your receipts, right? I've got scars, you got scars. Some may be obvious, like a surgery, an accident, maybe a dumb decision when you're a kid. Believe me, I have a handful of those. Some are invisible, though, right? A betrayal, a failure, a loss. You know, that one conversation that changed how maybe you see yourself. Most people treat scars like something that they have to hide. They try to cover it with makeup, they bury it under maybe a fake smile, they distract you from your work, your social media, so you don't have to look at it, right? But your scars are not mistakes in the design. They're proof that you've lived a life, they're proof that you've swung, they're proof that you didn't quit when life hit back. They're proof that you're a stronger version now than you were, right? You've heard probably the term battle wounds or battle scars, right? That's what essentially those are, whether they're physical or they're metaphorical, um, you know, meaning like the emotional scars from your past, you have to realize that that's what allowed you to become who you are today. Without those scars, you would not be the person you are today, right? You wouldn't have learned those lessons, you wouldn't have gotten those experiences, so don't treat them as a weakness, right? So the Kinsuyi's shift, the mindset shift is simple, but also brutal at the same time, right? Something breaks, you don't throw it away, you don't hide the crack, you highlight it with gold, you lean into it, right? That gold in your life, that's the lesson you've learned, that's the wisdom, that's the resilience, that's the new standard that you built from pain. Right? The world says, if it's broken, replace it. Kinsuyi says, if it's broken, honor it and upgrade it, right? Or in terms of like what we're talking about with life is essentially if it breaks, acknowledge it, heal it, and now you're upgraded, right? So here's where most people kind of get it twisted, in my opinion, is we think being valuable means looking untouched, you know, no baggage, no past, no mistakes, you know, whether it's perfect skin, a perfect resume, a perfect relationship, perfect mindset. Honestly, that's all bullshit, right? The people you respect the most, I want you to think about those people right now, right? The people that you look up to the most, that you respect the most, right? Those aren't the ones who never fell. Those they're not perfect, and you know that, they know that. Those are the ones who fell hard, got up, and didn't edit that part out of their life story. That's why you can relate with them, that's why you can look up to them. It's the strength of building themselves back up. If you've ever looked at someone and thought, wow, they're strong, what you're really seeing is them through that build. You've seen you're really seeing Kinsugi, you're seeing someone who's refused to let a break be the end, right? So your personal story um is is just that, right? Your personal story is not meant to be my personal story, the next person's person uh personal story, it's your own, right? For example, with launching the business, you know, for Strive 11, there was so many times that it could have been the end, you know, through different partnerships, through different, you know, uh investments, whatever. But each time I just figured out a new way to talk to the next person, a new way to look for a certain, you know, kind of person or certain kind of investor, whatever the case may be. And those are all all things that made me better in my terms of just being a business owner. Another one, let's say, um, on a more personal standpoint, not business, but in fitness, right? More recently, there, you know, I would say probably about a year ago, um, I was a lot leaner than I am right now, right? And that was not by choice. I mean, I guess it is by my own choices, but I was not actively trying to be lean or thin. And a lot of people would tell me, essentially, you know, wow, like you're leaning out, you know, you're you know, are you are you trying to lose weight or you know, and it always kind of felt kind of like a compliment, but also kind of like a backhanger compliment because I know naturally I'm a little bit bigger and a little bit bulkier, and that's the way I like to be, is you know, in in my fitness journey. So that part of me was broken in the terms of launching the business and kind of letting my own personal fitness hit the back burner, but realizing that and fixing that leaned into being a strength, right? Then I just got to get better at managing my personal time, managing those things, right? Those little little cracks and stuff when when it was happening allowed me to reanalyze and get better at what I was currently doing, right? Um at the time, you know, it could feel like everything is falling apart, right? When you look back at the moment that didn't ruin you, it kind of reveals you, right? When looking back today, or today, looking back on you know, a year ago, two years ago, you know, what was a struggle that you thought was you know gonna be the end, right? And now look at you now, it wasn't, and now if that ever happened again, you would know how to handle it, right? The crack doesn't disappear, it just turns into a gold line running straight through your story, just like mine did for me. And if you don't to give you a better understanding of what I mean by the bulls and stuff like that, like have you ever seen the bowls or the cups or the plates that essentially almost kind of have like a marble look to it, right? With like the gold or the silver, you know, kind of all running through like abstract lines, kind of like lightning bolts. Um, that's what Kinsugi is, right? That that it's not marble, like that was a broken piece of pottery that they put back together. So, how do you do you know this this mental Kinsugi, you know, kind of practice? Or how can you make it a practical application, right? Because it's it's easy to say, but I want to kind of give you some tools at least that you can take away and make your what you think is uh a weakness, right? Use your scars to be a strength and and make them realize that that's you, right? So let's get practical, right? Because mindset without application honestly is just motivational noise, right? So step one, you have to name the break, right? Stop downplaying it, stop saying it wasn't that bad when it was. Call it what it was a loss, a betrayal, a failure, a collapse, whatever the case may be. Name it. Step two, extract the gold, right? Ask essentially the gold meaning the lesson. What did this teach me about myself? What did this teach me about people? What did this teach me about what I will never tolerate again? That's your gold. That's what makes you stronger moving forward. And then step three is reinforce it, right? Reinforce the fracture, turn that lesson into a behavior, right? Whether it's a new boundary, a new habit, a new standard, a new non-negotiable. This is where you stop repeating the same cycle and start walking differently and start living differently. And then lastly, step four is stop hiding it, right? Stop hiding it. You don't need to drama dump or trauma dump on everyone you meet, but you also don't need to act like your story is anything to be ashamed of. You've survived things, you've gone through things, so have other people. That's how you become relatable, that's how you are viewed as strong, right? That's that's where strength is. You survived those things, that's why you are who you are today, right? You survive certain things that would have folded other people. That's not a weakness, that's equity in who you are today, right? Because let's talk about the costs of you hiding those cracks, right? When you don't do this, when you hide your scars, when you live on defense, you live terrified of someone who'll see the real you, the mess, the mistakes, the chapters that you hate of your life. You start performing instead of living, you settle instead of building, you numb out instead of healing. And honestly, here's the worst part about that, in my opinion, is you block people from seeing the very thing that makes you powerful and relatable, right? Your humanity, your story, your comeback, right? That's that's what authenticity is. And actually, what I want to do is is kind of reframe that, and I want I want you to walk away with something, right? I want you to realize that you're not broken, you're forged, right? You're not broken, you are forged. Broken is is something that's fragile, right? If it breaks once, it's gonna break again. Like forged means it's tested, it's tried, you know, broken, you throw it away. Forged is, you know, is trusted to last, right? So you're not broken, you are forged to be who you are today. That's why I I usually say, like, you know, you are forged by the fire, right? You're not broken by the fire, you are forged by the fire. Life has already hit you. You already have the evidence that you can take the shot and still be here listening to this and still be doing the things that you're doing. That alone means you're not soft, you're not weak, and you're not done yet. So here's the challenge I want to give you for this episode is I want you to actually do this and not just think about it is the main thing. All right, pick one of your scars, right? Whether it's a physical one, emotional one, and write it down. What happened to you? What did it cost you, and then what did it or what gold did you gain from it? Right. So when you write down again, what happened, what did it cost you, and then what gold did I gain that I refuse to ignore anymore? That might be the standard, right? That might be the decision, that might be the moment you decided I will never be that version of myself again, right? That's the biggest one I think a lot of people need to realize is that that right there is the moment you get to decide. I will never be that version of myself again, right? And that's your Tonsugi line, that is your gold, right? So hopefully, you know, if this if this hits home for you, don't hoard it, right? Don't hold it all to yourself. Uh, if you know someone right now, or you think you know someone right now that they're that is if you think you know someone right now who thinks that they're damaged beyond repair, right? Someone who thinks maybe their story disqualifies them, please share this episode with them. Text it to them, tell it to them, post it on, you know, send it in their DM, right? And then just add the part you're not done. You're just in the part where the gold gets added, right? So share this episode with them and just and send a little message. You're not done, you're just in the part where the gold gets added. That honestly would mean so much to someone that's going through something right now, right? Because you're not less because you've been broken, you're actually more. You're not less valuable because you've been broken, you are more valuable. So I hope this episode of the mindset cafe resonated with you a little bit and in and kind of got to shift your mindset a little bit, and hopefully you can send this to a friend that is going through it, or you know, thinks you know, is kind of thinging down on themselves, right? Or has been disqualifying themselves, you know, for a while now. So go live your life, show those scars, those are your gold. And I just want to say I like always appreciate you guys. I love y'all. If you guys ever need anything, you know where to reach me.