Hey everyone! I hope that you are well and have been having a great week. If you’re listening in real-time, today is my son’s 10th Birthday. My baby is officially in the double digits! And just like everything else in my life, this milestone which represents new chapters, as well as the passing of time has caused me to reflect. But this time in a way that is energizing. New chapters, new opportunities, new adventures- these things shouldn’t fizzle out because we have a couple more decades under our belt.
As we grow older, it can be so easy to focus on all that is behind us vs. what’s in front of us. A lot of our conversations might sound like, remember when I tried that new thing, or remember back in the day when I was slim, trim, and sexy. Or back in the day when I was more adventurous, or when I was class president, or homecoming queen, or remember when I was the young person that everyone said had the brightest future ahead of them. Are these fond memories? Of course they are. Should you be fixated on all of what you used to be and not who you are now, and who you are becoming? Of course not. Because that bright future that everyone said was ahead of you may still very well be ahead of you. Even if you're over 40.
You may or may not have been the class president, or the homecoming queen, the one in the yearbook labeled most likely to succeed. And maybe you’re over forty and questioning who am I, what’s next, where do I go from here? Or feeling like there’s nowhere to go because you haven’t yet had your breakout moment and you don’t see how it can even happen at this point because of your age or circumstances.
How can there be anything spectacular ahead of me when society is constantly celebrating the achievements of the young, the physical attributes of the young, and highlighting the milestones that folks meet when they are young? What does that mean for the lot of us- an aging population that is living longer? Does it mean that the majority of our life will be void of exciting new things, huge milestones, and accomplishments? Does it mean that there are no defining breakout moments left for us to anticipate once we cross the line of the big 4-0 and beyond?
Well, as a woman over forty, who often finds myself contemplating many of these thoughts, I am here to encourage us and remind us that it’s definitely not too late. Yes, life is constantly happening all around us- Yes, there are people near and dear to us and people from afar who may seem as though they’ve been enveloped in their successes, breaking glass ceilings and leveling up. Or they may be experiencing their breakout moments right before your eyes. And you may be wondering- where did I go wrong? How did I waste all of this time? Or when will my ship come in? It’s easy to do, especially when the general narrative is that if you haven’t started, it’s too late for you. And you know what happens when you listen to and digest that narrative? It actually does become too late for you- not because you are over forty, or over 50, or over 60, but simply because you believe that it is.
Your perspective may be different now. You may look and feel different. Your dreams, if you’re still entertaining them may be different. And maybe you’ve lost your grind. But everything is ever changing. And I would challenge you to stop looking back, trying to get back and focus on forward movement instead, embracing the change that comes along.
If you focus forward, you may very well see and accept the good that’s in front of you, the excitement, new opportunities and healthy challenges. Its all there for the taking if we want it and if we never give up. Now I’m not discounting the importance and beauty of memories, reflecting and celebrating who we were, the different iterations of ourselves, but we should never do so to the detriment of the woman who we are working, building and grinding for now!
So as we approach national womens history month, I thought this would be a good time to highlight some women who happened to achieve great things after forty. This of course is just a handful of women, but I will be highlighting more women on the blog throughout the month of March, so feel free to stop by and check them out. And let this be your inspiration- that if you want to go, do, or be something, your age doesn’t have to be a factor, unless you make it one.
Up first is author Natalie Baszile- she published her first novel Queen Sugar, which was adapted into an own network series when she was 47 years old after having worked on the piece for almost 12 years before it was published. Prior to becoming a published author, she worked in the family business- distributing aluminum sheets, plate, rod and bar materials. Exciting, right? But what a beautiful lesson in sticktoittiveness and that you will arrive when it is your time. And as a sidenote- Iet me tell you the book and the series were both extremely well done, so I encourage you to check them out!
Next is Chef Carla Hall- she didn’t received her “big break” until her mid 40’s on the show Top Chef. Prior to that, she did stints as an accountant, model, working in hotel restaurants and catering. But she went on to be a cohost on The Chew, which used to be one of my favorite daytime tv shows, open a restaurant and create product lines
Estella Mims Pyfrom- someone I was completely unfamiliar with. She was the founder of Estella’s Brilliant Bus, which was a refurbished bus fitted with computer stations that serviced impoverished neighborhoods by showing up and teaching kids how to use computers. She was a 72 year old retired educator when she launched the project. - cashing in her life’s savings, and using the personal finances of her and her husband which totaled almost a million dollars to get the job done. Talk about legacy, impact and how everyone can do something- this is totally inspiring.
Brene Brown- y’all have heard me quote Brene on this pod before,but her breakout moment didn’t come until 2010 after having worked in research and academia. And at 44, she gave one of the 5 most viewed Ted Talks of all time on the power of vulnerability, which really launched her career.
Julia Child- French cuisine maven was 49 when she published her first cookbook and really launched her cooking career. From there she went to have a career in cooking that spanned 40 years.
JoAni Johnson- A 72 year old model who was stopped on the street by an employee of Allure magazine 8 years ago who asked to take her picture. From there she’s found herself everywhere from shoots with vogue to Fenty campaigns. She had pursued modeling earlier on, but it didn’t pan out. To me, this is the definition of in due time. She made some other stops on her path, which I can only imagine enriched her experience. She’s also a certified tea blender, which probably contributes to her great skin.
And Tabitha Brown- now I don’t know if y’all know, but I love me some Aunt Tab. And after struggling to try to get her big acting break, she finally took off in the midst of Covid after becoming a tikTok sensation of all things at 41 years. Now she’s an emmy winner, author, has multiple product lines, and just remains an overall inspiring person.
Y’all if you have a gift and you use it, and it’s your purpose, God will launch you beyond even what you can desire. And her story proves that for me.
OK, I hope that you are feeling inspired and reminded that you can do great things. Whether we are 5 or 50, we all are capable of meeting our greatest potential and doing the things that make our heart sing. But we have to be open to the possibility. The possibility that maybe you wanted it to happen at 22, but God that you might be better equipped at 52. And just because it came a little later, doesn’t make it too late. So keep showing up, keep sharing your gifts with the world, and keep shining your authentic light. Because no one has the power to dim it or put it out, but you.
Let me leave you with a quote from Jackie Joyner Kersee today. “Age is no barrier. It’s a limitation you put on your mind”
Thanks so much for listening today. If this podcast has contributed to your life positively in any way, don’t forget to share, rate, review and just tell someone else about it. The goal is to grow and it will take the help of this village to do so. I can’t wait to chat with you all next week. Take care until then.
