Pause and Enjoy the Life You Have Right Now

Hey Everyone! It's so easy to let the life we are aspiring to have block us from enjoying the life we have right now. Remember that we have to put in effort for both the now and future. So let's chat about it.

Key Takeaways:

• Keeping it simple can actually be great.
• Focus on what you have right here and now.
• Invest energy in daily experiences to enhance life.
• Rearranging your living space can boost your mood.
• You aren't getting dressed for anyone but you.
• Quality time with friends enhances relationships.
• Don't miss the beautiful parts of your journey.
• Life is happening every day, not just during milestones.
• A little spontaneity goes a long way.
• Romanticize the every day without making it a task.

Podcast episodes mentioned:

Balanced Black Girl 30 Day Style Challenge
Healed Girl Era Podcast with Priscilla Shirer

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Chapters

• 0:00 00:00 Embracing Simplicity in Life
• 7:44 07:44 The Importance of Being Present
• 10:14 10:14 Romanticizing the Everyday Experience

Transcript

Marsharelle Tolbert (00:00)
Hey everyone. And happy Wednesday. If you're listening in real time, I hope that you're all doing well and that you had a great weekend. And you know, I'm curious to know what it was that y'all all got into this weekend. Was it all the things or was it nothing at all? I personally find that both are equally great. They both bring me lots of joy and there's certainly a time to turn up and there's also a time to rest.

This time of year is a little bit more challenging to find that time to rest. This more of a turn up time over here just because there are so many things to do, whether that's, you know, celebrating anniversaries or birthdays, school things with the kids, you know, just gathering in that way. And continuing in true October fashion over here, this weekend was filled with the busyness of celebration.

This time though, was spent on an extended weekend celebrating with my husband for his birthday. Now, we didn't go off and take a fancy trip or anything like that. This year we stayed home, had a bit of a staycation, just sprinkling in celebratory activities every day throughout the weekend with family and friends and also just the two of us. And it was a great time, But also it was a reminder of how great

keeping it simple can actually be, and allowing space for things to happen organically, and how life can be very full when you appreciate the things that are right in front of you and at your disposal.

So today I want to chat about why keeping it simple and focusing on what you have right here and now can enhance your life and why it's important. And I want y'all to think about what it is that you can focus on and why it's important to you as we continue the discussion. So first and foremost, why is it important?

Well, the things we think of as, you know, simple or blah, right. Or meh. Those are the things that we have to engage in every day, whether it's your job, cooking dinner, working out, other mundane chores. It's the stuff that we do every day, just stuff. And it's important to spend time and invest energy on the things that we have to do to make those experiences easier or just better.

As well as the other stuff that just makes us feel good every day. Because our focus, it shouldn't solely be on those big events that may happen a couple of times a year or quarterly. You know, we can't only live for something happening three, six, nine months down the line. I know we live in a world that moves so very quickly and it's up to us to slow it down in our little corner of the world so that we can see.

the things that are right in front of us. Now, hopefully you know the things that make you feel good in your day to day. And if you don't take a minute to think it through, right? Write them down if you need to. But can you come up with a list of three to five simple things that you can change right now to refresh your vibe or your view? Perhaps it's rearranging your living space.

Where you live should feel comfortable. It should make you feel good. And rearranging furniture, doing a little cleaning, a little decluttering, those things cost you nothing, but not only will it boost your appreciation for what you have, it can also calm your mind and make you feel really good. So when you enter that space that's ready and inviting, those task bells don't start going off in your head. That sort of drag your energy down and you can feel

happy in your space and happy about what you created for yourself. But if we're constantly focused on what's next, what you're reaching for, right? You may lose sight of what you have and the immediate impact making the most of it will have on you. So give your living space a little love. Another thing that comes top of mind for me, maybe you stop getting dressed for work.

particularly if you work from home. I know I'm guilty of just throwing on a sweatshirt every day. And it may seem simple or irrelevant, particularly if you work at a company that doesn't place an emphasis on professional attire.

But again, in these instances, you have to remember who you're doing it for and that's you. You weren't getting dressed for the folks that are on the other side of that Zoom square. It's for you.

And it really does make a difference in your attitude and your perspective. I know some of y'all out there can relate. I for sure know that I am more productive and feel ready when I get dressed, Balanced Black Girl just did a whole challenge and pod episode on getting dressed every day for a month. Like I think it was the month of September. She just made sure that she got dressed every single day, even if she wasn't really going anywhere. But

That episode was a great reminder for me. So I'll definitely link it in the show notes, so that you can take a listen if you need a reminder to step away from the athleisure and put on what my husband refers to as hard pants. And you don't have to go out and buy anything new, right? But maybe you do go ahead and refresh your wardrobe a little bit. If you want to put in a little bit more effort and don't want to give it too much thought, consider dresses for your wardrobe.

One piece dressing, my friends, is the easiest way to look put together without having to do too much. And thrifting. Thrifting can be a great way to grab some quality pieces on the low as well. But the point here is really just to make sure that you're taking initiative for your appearance and you can see how focusing a bit more will impact how you feel on the daily. So I challenge you to do that if that's an area of struggle.

And y'all know I'm big on quality time with friends. We don't always have to go out and turn up and do all the things and spend a million dollars. No. Chill at the house, right? Have a real conversation, prepare a meal together, veg out and really get to know your friend. You might be thinking, I know my friend. I've been friends with this person forever. That may very well be true,

And you may have known your friend for 20 years, but you both have changed over these 20 years. So how well do you know this version of your friend right now? How can you help each other focus on what's going on right now? Spending the time cost you nothing and it will enhance your life by allowing space for you to be vulnerable and take a load off.

And you've also provided that space for someone else as well. And depending on where you are in your friendship, it can be like, you know, meeting someone for the first time. So invest in your friendships the same way you may think of investing in your romantic relationships, wanting to keep it fresh, et cetera. these types of things are across the board for all relationships.

I would love for y'all to share some ways that may have come up for you in this exercise around how keeping it simple can enhance your life in the here and now. Send me an email or a DM on IG or hit me up on TikTok so we can keep this conversation going. But allow me to share a quick story with you. Yes, it's hypothetical, but it's 100 % applies nonetheless. So just hear me, hear me out.

So there's a 40 plus year old woman whose main goal in life is to achieve great success, right? Maybe she's a corporate leader climbing towards C-suite or an entrepreneur or an entertainer. You fill in the blank here. But the main point is that she's grinding. And not only is she grinding during the years of her 20s and her 30s, the only thing that she's had time to focus on are those key events that pop up.

You know what I'm talking about? The weddings, the baby showers, anniversaries, graduations, birthdays. That's all she could make time for. Outside of that was grind, grind, grind, and maybe a huge vacation once a year with all the photo ops. But by the time she makes it to her mid forties, there's lots of gaps. Like what's happening between attending these milestone events or going to these social media worthy vacations. She can't remember because she wasn't present. She wasn't living.

She was tasking her way through and holding out so that she could show up and show out just in a certain way for the big stuff, right? But she couldn't pinpoint any happiness in her day to day. That's truly no way to live y'all, right? Even if it does look great on social media, you have all the posts, you've captured all these moments, but.

Were you there? Did you live? Did you enjoy all the little bits along the way when you were taking all that video? Did you miss, you know, an exchange of a glance with your friend or your mate or, you know, an extra hug because you got one handout recording, you know, whatever it is. Like, did you, were you there? Like, are you really enjoying life?

Priscilla Shrier was recently on the Hilled Girl Era podcast talking about one of her favorite lessons that she learned from her mom, which was to stop and smell the roses. Priscilla said, Don't be so busy on the journey that you miss all the beautiful parts of it.

So I want to encourage you to not miss the beautiful parts of your journey. Yes, you're climbing the corporate ladder. Yes, you're growing your business or trying to launch your career as a musician. Yes, you got to keep these kids in order, get them from point A to point B day in and day out. And yes, it's great to look forward to those large milestone events, but those don't happen every day. Life is happening every day, right?

Every day, there's something that you need to do, something related to your journey, even though it doesn't feel like it because it feels like a task. But I want to say to you, how are you enjoying the journey? There's a lot of talk around romanticizing the everyday. And I think that's great. but also you don't have to subscribe to a certain way of doing things.

Don't make it a task to check off or something to achieve. Just live. Be random. If you decide you want to cook a fancy dinner at home, go to the grocery store, grab the ingredients and do it. Will you eat dinner a little later? Yes. But will you thoroughly enjoy every bite when you sit down to eat that dinner focused on your meal in the present moment? More than likely that's a yes too.

A little spontaneity goes a long way y'all. So I'd like to leave you with this. Life is not a list of tasks, but it is a world of experiences. It's a mixture of the elaborate, the simple, the complex, all of it. But lean into focusing on the simple things. What's in front of you right now, just as much as the more elaborate things, because you have to touch those simple things every single day.

Thanks so much for listening. If what you are hearing has been beneficial, don't forget to rate, review, subscribe, share the podcast. And I can't wait to chat with you all again next week. Take care until then.