Hey everyone! Welcome back to the pod. I hope that your week is going well so far and if you are getting ready for the holidays, you are managing your time and tasks well and avoiding stress.
Thank you to all of you who sent love my way and celebrated the pod with me whether by sending Happy Podaversary messages, or by sharing your favorite episodes and spreading the word about the pod to others. I’m very thankful and could feel the love.
And hello to all of you who are new! Welcome to our community- I hope that you plan to stay a while. And remember, its not too late to share the pod, write us a review and post it wherever you are listening, or hit me up with a topic you’d like to discuss. Again, this is a community, so all feedback is welcome and of course we want to grow through your shares.
So last week, we spent some time talking about the winter arc and knowing how and when to implement no. Knowing when you can trust your no, knowing if the no is worth it, and assessing how the no makes you feel.
I wanna kind of continue down that same road and talk a bit about staying disciplined in the midst of a season of excess. Clearly related to last week because being disciplined will certainly call us to say no to certain things. But again, we are channeling discipline, and not deprivation.
Listen, this time of year can be very challenging- not only with all of the events and engagements that we have to manage, but also with tangible things- items right? Everywhere you turn there is a sale, or what may look like a sale. All the things that you wanted have resurfaced in your web browser- and it may feel like this may be your last chance to grab hold of those things before its too late.
And you wanna look good and feel good when you head out to all of the end of year festivities and so you may find yourself indulging a bit more in spending, even when you know you shouldn’t.
I admit that I too have thrown caution to the wind from time to time- fed up with being responsible and reframing my irresponsibility with an “I deserve it mindset” to justify my behavior.
But as we all know, there are consequences for our actions. And Come January when all the joy of the season has died down, you don’t want to be found wondering what happened to your coins. Trying to figure out Why are you feeling so strapped, or even worse, you spend the first half of the new year catching up from all the damage that you did in the final quarter of the year before.
Now I don’t often talk about financial responsibility on this platform too much,- that’s not my specialty, but as we look toward 2025, and always looking toward leveling up there are some things I find myself getting more serious about, and maybe you are too, so I figure let’s talk about them. And for whatever reason, financial conversations have been coming up all around me, so this must be a thing.
And so in the spirit of starting strong now- ie during the winter arc, lets chat a bit about some of the basics around our spending habits.
So first and foremost, this is a good time to think about why you feel compelled to spend when you do. Of course there’s always necessities. Then there’s retail therapy, or maybe a more general social therapy that requires you to be outside and we and we all know how expensive outside can be right now. And you could feel compelled to spend due to your desire to show up for people, make them feel good with what you are providing or gifting- Maybe you’ve truly been presented with a once in a lifetime opportunity that you feel you just can’t pass up.
I mentioned a bit earlier that yes, sometimes it can even feel burdensome to be responsible all the time and sometimes we just want to do some or all of the things that I mentioned without having to think them through, but the bottom line is we were given minds to think for a reason and so we should be thinking about more than the instant gratification we’ll get from that impulse purchase or spend.
You may be saying who wants to think about any of that while we are out here trying to “tis the season” marsharelle? And my answer to that is you may not be excited about it now, but later when your coins are making dollars because you gave it a second thought you might feel a little excitement because of what you’ll be able to do next.
So what are some simple tools we can use to improve our spending habits asap.
Pen and Paper! You wanna talk about back to basics, for me pen and paper is always the way to go.
I prefer to write my budget down on paper. It makes it that much more real for me. I have tried apps and I have used Google sheets right, but nothing has trumped pen and paper for me. Having to scratch out and adjust the numbers- show my work if you will is a sure fire way to really grasp where you are financially in any moment.
If you thrive using an app or using excel, or relying on keeping things straight in your head, carry on, but if you are just finding your way into the budgeting space, I encourage you to try some good old pen and paper to get you right.
And then leave the budget on your desk or nightstand so that the numbers are in your face- because out of sight, out of mind will get you in trouble, especially in this season when spending is traditionally high.
In the same vein, I encourage you to write down the true cost of items like the gifts you plan to purchase. Because a ball park number doesn’t cut it. Something can be in the ballpark of $2-300. But the difference between 2 and 300 is a whole hundred y’all. You do that enough times and what happens? That ballpark has ballooned out of control. So write it down write it down.
Next acknowledge that just because you write it down doesn’t mean you can afford it right now. That’s the purpose of writing it down- to give you perspective. And once you have that perspective adjust accordingly. Maybe you thought you were going to be able to get gifts for everyone. But maybe writing it down makes it plain that you’ll need to adjust your recipient list, or even refrain from giving purchased gifts. Maybe you do a pollyanna with your siblings, or just gather together instead. More often than not folks will be receptive to alternatives for gift giving because they may be trying to tighten up too or make some adjustments.
Next- wait- sit with the idea of the purchase for a while. Even if it’s within your means to purchase it. How many times have you thought you had to have something and then you got a hold of it and maybe it was still nice to have, but the thrill was gone now that it was in your possession. Giving yourself time to let it marinate before clicking buy now will aid in determining if it's a need it, want it, gotta have it, or don’t love it as much as I thought I did.
And if you know that you are someone who has trouble lpassing up a good deal or you can't resist, you may need to put some parameters in place. Turn off notifications. Unsubscribe to the emails with the updates. Uninstall the apps, whether that's amazon or tik tok shop. Do what you need to do to keep your eye on the prize.
I’ll share this quote from Stephanie Lahart today. She says: “Excuse me while I save, invest, and build wealth.”
Now y’all that’s not something that we can say if we aren’t disciplined in our spending and fall prey to the advertisements, the idea of what it girls look like, this idea of arrival and excellence based on the names we put on our backs, the bags we carry and all the other modern day pomp and circumstance.
Nice things are nice to have of course. I enjoy a nice thing or two. But what are you sacrificing to gain those nice things? Are you compromising financially flourishing, or financial security? Plans for the future if you dont wanna work forever? Contributions to the education fund of your children? Is your lack of control keeping you from the things that really matter most to you?
What are your financial goals? Getting back to that pen and paper- have you written them down? Have you prayed over them- not just asking that they come to be, but perhaps asking for the strength to be a good steward over what you have in preparation for what’s to come as well? If this is an area of struggle for you, you have to be honest with yourself about it so that you can make the shift and focus on doing better.
We must be intentional about what we desire and how we intend to get it. If we are struggling, we may need to set some boundaries to help us get there. It does not happen by chance. But it most certainly can happen on purpose.
And if you are like me and you have some loftier financial goals or expenses coming up, I encourage you to start thinking about and acting on them now. January may be too late- so let’s set ourselves up for success. If you are on a financial hamster wheel it doesn’t matter how much you are making- it takes the same discipline for us all to do a little better with what we have.
So if you’re serious about the journey, take a look at the show notes. You’ll find some links to resources that I deem helpful including books and podcasts for inspiration. But let’s come out of this season of excess in the positive- no deficits over here y’all! 2025 won’t know what to do with us when we get there, already filling our bag.
Thanks so much for listening. If what you have been hearing has been beneficial, please share it with someone else who could also benefit. And let me know you found it beneficial- I’m always happy to hear from y’all. I can’t wait to chat with you all again next week. Take care until then.
