Navigating The Holiday Season When It Feels Tough Or Overwhelming

Hey Everyone,

Hopping on ahead of the holiday to share a few suggestions on how to protect yourself and your peace if you find this season particularly challenging. I hope you have a happy Thanksgiving, but if you are struggling, I pray these suggestions are helpful. As always, feel free to reach out and share your thoughts!

Takeaways:

• Protect your peace during the holiday season.
• Don't isolate; spend quality time with friends.
• Communicate your feelings to set boundaries.
• Reach out to those who may be struggling.
• Engage with your community during tough times.

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Transcript

Hey everyone- I hope that all is well and that your week is off to a great start! If you’re celebrating, happy Thanksgiving! I hope you are feeling prepped and ready to go and not overwhelmed. And if you and the fam need something to listen to while you are tackling all of your tasks and whipping up all those delicious dishes, feel free to listen to the pod. There are over 80 episodes in our library now, so flip through and see what speaks to you. 

 While this isn’t my regularly scheduled posting day- as you know we normally post on Wednesdays, this week I wanted to pop on early for a very quick chat about protecting your peace and carving out safe space for yourself during the holiday season. Because let’s face it, for one reason or another, not everyone looks forward to Thanksgiving or any other holiday for that matter, and even if you do, it can still be a lot. 

And there could be a myriad of reasons why right? Maybe you’ve experienced  a great loss and the holiday season just magnifies that loss. 

Maybe all of your people are still here, but you don’t have a great relationship with them and holiday gatherings exacerbate that . Maybe you are tied up with work or school or there’s some other reason or obligation that’s keeping you away from your family and friends. It could be that you simply aren’t feeling your best- and you can’t find any celebratory energy. 

In any event, whether or not you are gathering with family and friends, the holidays can sometimes be uncomfortable, and the wounds cavernous and overall it can be a not-so-great time of year that you somehow have to find a way to navigate anyway. 

And so today, I simply want to encourage you to take the space you need, because ultimately we all need to stay healthy and maintain physically and mentally through this season of busyness that also requires lots of emotional energy . 

No matter what, we have to make the effort to take care of ourselves in whatever ways we can. So I just want to share with you some ways that we can nourish ourselves during this season, whether you need a bit of extra support due to sadness, overwhelm, a transitional phase, or any other form of holiday stress including being the hostess with the mostest. We all need to make sure that we don’t come out of this season feeling depleted.

So here are a few suggestions that I have to offer:

For starters, Don’t isolate- when we’re feeling down, we automatically feel inclined to retreat. But during times of celebration, it can also be hard to stay to yourself because it’s a reminder that life will keep happening around you. No, you may not feel like celebrating, or going to crowded parties full of holiday cheer. But you can spend quality time with a friend or two. And y’all can do something completely unrelated to the holiday. But you won’t be doing it alone. And sometimes companionship is just what you need moving through this season.

I also want to note, that if you are not the person who is struggling right now, but you know someone who is, reach out to them. Don’t allow them to be isolated. 

We all know that when we are down, sometimes it’s hard to articulate what we need, so if you suspect that your friend or loved one is in this position, try not to leave them with the burden of reaching out to you. You can reach out and spread a bit of joy in a way that will best serve that person even outside of trying to convince them to participate in the standard celebrations. 

This brings my next point, which is to Communicate where appropriate and safe-

If you are struggling to get through the holidays, talking about how you feel may seem impossible, and I’m sure that it’s not something that you are looking forward to doing at all. But it can be extremely helpful for many reasons. Sharing how you are feeling can give others insight and influence how they engage and interact with you. It allows you to set boundaries, and it gives others the opportunity to be your advocate and speak on your behalf if you don’t have it in you to do over and over. You might not feel like talking to Aunt Sally about why you aren’t coming to dinner with the family. But your advocate may be able to do so in a tactful way. 

So sharing with someone you trust can give you the opportunity to take that off of your plate. 

Next I encourage you to Choose wisely- whether you've been invited to two events, or twenty, make sure that you are choosing wisely. You don’t have to feel obligated to attend every one of them, especially if you know it’s going to be too taxing and wear you out. That’s what rsvps are for, so that you can respectfully decline. So stop telling yourself that you have to show up for every single thing if its just not in you. Because you don’t. If you have to miss it this time, it’ll be alright. 

And if you choose to go, you can always schedule an end time for yourself. Just because you go doesn’t mean you have to stay all night. So maybe you go into it knowing you can commit two hours. That’s enough time to show your face, eat a plate and chat it up with a couple folks. If you know you are going to be with family and about hour 3 or 4 is typically when things go south, plan your exit ahead of that. Thank them for having you, and let them know you have to head out, even if you are only heading home and to get in your pjs. You are not obligated to specify.

So these are just a few suggestions that I wanted to offer you as the holiday season gets underway. If you have some other suggestions on how to navigate this time please share them and I’ll be sure to post them on our defining your life pages so that they are available to our community.

I want to leave you with this scripture of encouragement today, which is John 14:27

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. 

Don’t let your hearts be troubled my friends. Do not be afraid. Lean on God and the communities that he has provided for you, not away from them during times when you need them most. And community members, show up for your people in the ways that matter most to them. We have to ourselves out of it when we are showing up for others, right? Not doing it the way we would want it done for us, but taking into consideration how they would actually appreciate it being done for them. 

And on that note, I do hope that you all will have a wonderful Thanksgiving and if you find yourself dreading the pending holiday, I pray you have the capacity to try a new approach to get you through. If what you’ve heard here has been beneficial, don’t forget to share, rate, review, and engage with the podcast- and by engage, I mean leave comments, repost, and share- I know I said that already, but this is a friendly reminder.

I look forward to chatting with you all again next week. Take care until then.