Top Horror Crushes | Valloween Special

Hello, horrorphiles. In this Valentine's Day Special, we divulge our hottest Horror crushes of all time.

I imagine this podcast possibly ruffling some feathers. Such forthright objectifications of people might even feel borderline inappropriate. But I hope those listening will at least appreciate us exposing our individual desires to the world, and that it’s okay for each of us to have our own preferences for what we consider desirable, no matter how bizarre and disturbing Kelsey’s romantic interests turn out to be.

This is Dissecting Horror: Examining the anatomy of fear in film, television and literature with Kelsey Zukowski and Steven Aguilera.

We hope you find it in your cold, black, withered hearts to join our Society of Grotesquery and Loathing and keep our podcast suffering onward:

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Photo credit: Slevin Mors

Transcript

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Hello. horrorphiles. You're listening to Dissecting Horror. Examining the anatomy of fear in film, television and literature. In this Valentine's Day special, we dissect our top horror crushes. I'm filmmaker Steven Aguilera. I’m writer and performer Kelsey Zukowski. In our society of grotesquerie and loathing, if you will. I will, and we hope you will subscribe for more. Won't you? Through horror, we experienced the depths of the fear response, the nature of darkness itself, what it means to face monsters, both otherworldly and human. Something that can either lead to a brutal end or bring one alive even more fully after touching death. So intimately. Sometimes among the terror, there can also be biting tension, intrigue, and an undeniable pull, getting our heart racing for an entirely different reason. Perhaps where fear is still present but a demanding desire is right alongside it. To quote one of my Dark Valentine, soon to be divulged, don't underestimate the allure of darkness. Even the purest hearts are drawn to it. Let's look at and dissect our horror valentines that sparked a fire in our souls that still burns with unapologetic ferocity. In no particular order. Each woman here lives on my list for a different reason, each arousing something unique within me. I imagine this podcast possibly ruffling some feathers. Such forthright objectification of people might even feel borderline inappropriate, but I hope those listening will at least appreciate us exposing our individual desires to the world, and that it's okay for each of us to have our own preferences for what we consider desirable. No matter how bizarre and disturbing Chelsea's romantic interests turn out to be, called it early. My first horror crush I'd like to talk about is Louis from interview with a vampire. Specifically, the AMC version. as we discuss in our episodes on the interview with the vampire novel in 1994 film, I can appreciate Louie's existential struggle and thoughtful and a reflection, but he was never the brand of vampire that gets my blood stirring. That changed when Jacob Anderson stepped into Louie's coffin and brought him to life in such a beautiful, provocative, emotionally fueled way that was all his own. There are still the emotional outbursts and dramatic turmoil that is fairly essential to the existence of this dysfunctional vampire family, particularly the toxic yet hypnotic relationship between Louis and Lestat. But Anderson's energy and understanding of the character, supported by the writing and more overt identity journey of the show, offers the depth of Louis, the heart and the darkness, the scars and the culpability In a way that is powerful and stirring while still feeling more grounded. There are times where he leans into being a victim, especially with the start. But with the destruction and entrapment there, it's fairly understandable. Overall, I find he doesn't fall into the whiny melodrama as much as other versions of the character. And again, Anderson's performance is so poetic, alluring, and fueled with rich emotional nuance. It was that much more notable since this was a character that never did it for me before. Anderson never ceases to thrive within his characters, bringing something so enthralling, connective and multifaceted to each role, having a way of ensuring his telling of any tale is one that seduces you. When universally loved strong female characters are acknowledged, such as Ellen Ripley from Alien and Sarah Connor from the Terminator franchise. I don't think Dana Scully from the X-Files, played by Gillian Anderson, is referenced enough. And yes, the X-Files showcased more science fiction episodes than horror. But I'm still counting it. Unlike Ellen Ripley and later versions of Sarah Connor, despite her immersion in such masculine fields of federal law enforcement and medicine back in the 1990s, Scully still managed to fully retain a distinct Femininity. Chic but never quite sexualized. She nonetheless somehow still made autopsies and FBI crime procedurals hot. She had both beauty and brains and earned my fullest respect beyond that of mere eye candy. I looked upon her as more of a professional, a logical and platonic counterpoint to her FBI partners fringe personality. Well, I hold back from making this list half scarred. Scarred Roman Godfrey of Hemlock Grove felt deserving to be on this list as the character that made me a fan of Bill, especially with his knack for bringing nightmares to life in a way that are equally terrifying and alluring. The pull for him actually was an instant, both meaning Bill and Roman specifically. I didn't fall for looks, but I fell for the psychosis journey. And what was revealed of the character's true nature When first watching Hemlock Grove, I was initially more drawn to Peter, the outcast gypsy werewolf to his appear rooted in European law, the variety of vampire he portrays, something he is still discovering when the series begins. It was really as the complexities of Roman came out more that I found myself more enthralled and connected to him. He is a character ripe with duality, brimming with equal parts strength and fragility, control and surrender. He doesn't know his true nature, and even as he discovers more, he is largely alone. but those primal instincts of bloodlust and his predatory nature come out more and more, something he equally thrives in and is a prisoner too. Among this he shows the law and compassion, having an instinct and stake in chasing down truth and dignity. On top of fighting fiercely for those closest to his heart, He's constantly at war within himself and yet doesn't fall into the mopey, woe is me personal trauma many vampire characters do in the end, he accepts the breakage and complication and owns it, not letting it deter his predatory nature or sardonic humor. In Rosemary's Baby, the vulnerability of Mia Farrow somewhat frail, pregnant character brings out in me a unique dynamic of a man's relationship with a woman, that of protector and provider. This goes beyond the cliche of the damsel in distress, but still aligns with that general archetype. This point might be a bit challenging to explain to anyone who's not a dude, and may even be a point of resentment or offense by modern feminists, but like it or not, the urge of a man to care for one's partner and family is primal and undeniable. Whether modern women actually need this anymore or not. My understanding is that this instinct is less present in women toward her mate, and can even be difficult for them to comprehend, being best grasped when considering the protecting and providing of a child instead, despite myself never having had a wife nor a child. Sadly, Farrow's casting and performance here is notable for awakening these very specific male instincts in me while watching it. So you say it's a part of wanting to protect her from from everything happening in a sense of that, like vulnerability I just want to, like, go in and just, like, cuddler or just do something to help her, like, what can I do? I just leap in and I feel this sense of wanting to make it all better. And I don't know exactly how I would in that, in that situation, but it it's appalling to me that her husband goes to the extents that he does to actually cause her condition. So that triggers me. Yeah. That's a very I mean, she's very much being physically, psychologically and eventually emotionally terrorized. I can and honestly, there's a few a lot of my picks are fairly on the dark side, but there are a few that I would say I feel something similar of basically other people who, even if it's like judgments or base, I just want to protect them, be happy. Like there's there's ones that do very, very horrible things that it would be easy to condemn them as a character, but then they have those moments of fragility and emotion that I still still want to let them be happy. Leave. Leave them alone. Next step of the horror Valentine's is spike, initially the key villain and rival to our Slayer protagonist, Buffy, spike was a prolific and widely feared vampire, turned in 1880 after a human life as a failed romantic poet. As a vampire, he was known for his fondness for pain and suffering, known for torturing his victims with railroad spikes, and, of course, for being one of the few vampires to succeed in killing not one, but two previous slayers. While not the first, spike is unquestionably an iconic, snarky, and devious big bad vampire who relished in his nature, Especially having an infatuation with pain, thus inspiring many of my favorites that were yet to walk out of the coffin. Buffy was sassy, strong, and full of heart, someone worthy of admiring, someone whose story I cared for. Even so, I couldn't help being on the side of the vampires. She was hunting first, and spike inspired the most unflinching loyalty, connection, and infatuation in me. Ample credit goes to both the writing and James Marsters remarkable ability to be charismatic, alluring and complex. Among incredible tongue in cheek, sinister snark and a vibrant energy. He's currently in his 60s and hasn't lost his a marine spark Which all started with spike within the character arc explored throughout the series. He nailed opposition so well while never losing the dynamic nature and core spirit of the character at times menacing, lethal, and gleefully sinister at times showcasing a sense of loss within himself and tragically beaming with emotion that couldn't be matched. It's almost disheartening to see an actor who you're so familiar with in a certain period, like the 90s, how they look now, maybe three decades later, it's almost I don't mean to say anything disparaging about women, but, these crushes for me, of these many women, some of them on my list are from the 1950s, and you see pictures of them in their 80s or 90s. And like, there there's something almost tragic about that, youthful beauty having been lost or transformed into a different form as she ages. I suppose there's some condolence. Is that the word where you feel at least when they were at their peak, it's preserved, and we can watch that and see them in all their glory as they were. When that story was recorded on TV or in film? Yeah. I mean, this a difference of youth, but then also it is also her that I guess it can't be true for men or women, but it seems, especially for women in Hollywood, that they aren't given the permission to age like even, I know Sarah Michelle Gellar has, recently, I think it was an interview that came up about people commenting on her appearance. And I, I think, you know, of course, to, to each their own, but I think she's still a very gorgeous, you know, person. And, just people comparing her to when she was, I think 17 was when she started Buffy. Or maybe it was 19, but somewhere around that age range, and I don't know, people, you know, little things like, you know, just things of age and, you know, circles around your eyes or whatnot. And just being compared. She's like, well, no, of course I don't look exactly the same as I did when I was a teenager. There's time and again and, you know, I think there's also, you know, unfortunately, we can't all be vampires and be perfectly preserved. Well, that's actually an interesting point, because these characters, they're not supposed to age because they're vampires. So if you in your mind, do you think, oh, they're they can theoretically continue the story their characters could indefinitely. But the actors, they can can't they can't keep up with that. And I think there are some and oh, and Star Trek The Next Generation, Commander Data is an android, but you see him aging over the years, and I think where we as an audience can be understanding of that and suspend our disbelief and just kind of go with it because we just want to see those characters, be those characters again, regardless of the discrepancy of age over time when they're not supposed to. But, I know the internet is probably less forgiving, and people tend to be a bit picky and annoying in that way. Yeah, I think like we like in the Wednesday episode, something almost when you're really young or like you don't have a growth spurt, I feel like that's almost more jarring. But, yeah, if it's if it's like a logistical story thing of this creature isn't supposed to age and they're clearly, I don't know, ten, 20 years older or something really obvious that, I mean, especially with like, whether it, like sci fi fantasy, horror, I think depending on what the world is, but especially if there's like magic or supernatural elements of, you know, or alien or anything in that realm, I think there can be a reason you can come up with of like, there was the spell of, you know, change this or altered this. So I think it's usually one of those things that like, is it should be addressed because it's almost weirder when they try not to address it. Even a little throwaway line is, is something. Being more action adventure than horror, it is perhaps a stretch to consider 1999 as The Mummy as befitting this genre at all. Regardless, the beauty, charm and exuberance of Rachel Weisz as Evelyn Carnahan or EV could not be overlooked. The plucky but klutzy trope of her character might have easily bombed in the hands of a lesser actress. Yet vice won my heart, pulling it off with utmost delight. in the sequel The Mummy Returns, however, her character was radically changed despite being played by the same actress only two years later. The writing carried forward not one single character trait from the first film to the point of nothing being recognizable about her between the two films. Furthermore, it is interesting that despite her body being in much greater shape in the sequel, her overall physicality and fearless fighter personality made her far less appealing to me. She was no longer cute or funny or anything else that endeared me to her character in the first film, shifting from peak feminine to basically becoming a man even out manly in her heroic costar Brendan Fraser, This hot take might be controversial to some, but I just don't find masculinity attractive in women. Personally. No, it's I was one of those things of of preference. That's why I put the line in the beginning. So. Yeah, that's fair. To each their own. It's. I was more. But do you think there was like a personality shift Yeah, it could have been. It's been a while since I've seen them. So it was so, radically different that it's almost a testament to acting in that if you give an actress a different set of character traits, she can perform it and portray a character completely differently. But, I think there was an attempt to make her more adventurous and make it a to amplify the adventure aspect of the sequel. And there was no character arc in the first one, where it ended off where we pick up on the second one. So I didn't see how she changed from that first film to the second one, and it's just like, wow. And then suddenly they had a kid and there's that mother dynamic. And so I just couldn't recognize anything about that initial character and it could work. It's there's technically no reason why it couldn't. But for me personally, it did not. bear sounds like could come across as inauthentic. Next step Klaus Mikkelsen, the original hybrid, a thousand year old immortal vampire with a werewolf nature that was cursed, dormant for most of his existence. Klaus has a dark, never ending cheeky wits, a ferocious angry streak, and underlining paranoia that inspires his habit. A dagger in his siblings and slaughtering any he comes across that provokes his suspicious nature just to be on the safe side. And the books I reveled in the power and mystery he held, he was almost more of a non corporeal mystical evil than that of a physical being In Vampire Diaries and then even more richly so in The Originals. Both creator Julie Plec and Joseph Morgan brought such greater depth, layers and understanding to the character that cemented me as Team Klaus. Even in moments he was clearly in the wrong against other characters. I loved letting his destructive tendencies work against himself. Like most of my beloved vampires, he thrives in his nature along with his vicious tendencies, and wouldn't sacrifice it for a mundane human life like many other vampires would. while immense power and fear live in him, there's also ferocious emotion, loyalty, poetic cism and artistry on the outside, he could easily look like a sociopathic monster, but there is more. They're purposefully hidden and tightly guarded, even from those who have known him for a thousand years, and sometimes even from himself. It is something that can be unlocked, though, for those that truly see him in his capacity for love and sacrifice, There is a light that has barely managed to stay burning with all of the darkness, but a select few have a way of making the light burn brighter, allowing him to stay true to who he is, but also challenging him to evolve to let out the pieces of him that were so wounded he felt he had to keep hidden for so long. It's like you're reading the back of a romance novel with each one of these. Are any of yours not vampire related, by the way? yeah. All right. And as you, you mentioned having some that's more horror adjacent. I kind of went with that, too. At least I'm like, at least it kind of depends on the tone and like, depiction, because there was there was another I was considering that was a serial killer character, but really the tone of it, it really wasn't horror or suspenseful point, but, with, with those that I mentioned, even if there's another genre that it kind of dabbles in, there's definitely fear and bloodshed and mayhem present the basics. Good. Julie Adams was basically your typical 1950s monster movie. Damsel in Distress performed excellently as such in The Creature from the Black Lagoon. This choice is less nuanced and based more on pure physical lust. And that's really all I have to say about her. But man, did she really stand out and stick with me. personally, like, when I think of her, I think of elementary school. In fact, I think I still own the monster book. Where the the monster the creature is, is holding her, and she's wearing a white bathing suit. And I remember my sex drive coming online at that moment. Like, she's like, wow, that's that's sexy. And I think even in the 19, what is it, 55 or something like that? there's a line where you cross where I think people, let's say in the 80s and 90s, thought you need to show more skin in order to be sexy. And I think in 1955, with, Julie's costume, for example, she was kind of scantily clad because she was wearing a bathing suit. We saw her legs, but don't really see, like, she's not wearing a thong or something. Like that or a G-string, whatever they call it in America. But it's, it's still really sexy. It's like, wow, why do we need to do more than what she was wearing? And today's fashion, I think, is unsexy to me. In fact, I don't even think nudity is particularly attractive. I think wearing clothing accentuates the body and adds layers of, like color and pattern and shape and, makes things much more interesting, even like how smooth it is or shiny. And these sorts of things add to the sex appeal. Whereas just having something covering your nipples, doesn't really do anything, for the imagination. And it just seems kind of tacky. Yeah, I can see that. And a little mystery, All right. As promised, my first non vampire pic. A man with many names. One Henry Vecna from Stranger Things. I quite quickly became infatuated with this supernatural trauma monster. Even before we got the reveal of his origin story in other forms, including his human form. Beautifully portrayed by Jamie Campbell Bower, Who added such elegance, intuition and fervor to him. I was taken by him for being such an otherworldly, mystifying, mind fueled monster. Not despite of it. both the beautiful yet chilling human mask he wears, which at times can be equally unsettling and hypnotic, and the damage cunning perversities that go along with it, as well as him within his slimy, preternatural true form. Actually, if I had to choose, I would say I'm more drawn to the latter as his physical form, but appreciate there are layers and depths of both within him. He He was always a being that dwelt in the abnormal and incomprehensible to others, which turned from a form of connection to a thing used to control and confine him. Yeah. He found a way to turn the tables, becoming something the world had never seen the likes of before. pretty much anything, once human or reachable in him is gone. But he still isn't a stranger to fear. the very weapon he yields. So masterfully. As this is explored more, there is a certain tragic beauty to Vecna, his breakage and the world's breakage being two incompatible. Dustin, needing to become something that could exist beyond its, is the type of horror that is merciless, capable of only doom and despair. But among that bleak end would give you a rather intoxicating form of sweet destruction to go out on. And that's after he made you come face to face with your most intimate fears and regrets. So do you find his character, the most attractive, or is it a blend? Is there some, physical aspect as I think it's more of a human form? And then there's this, more veiny form. Do you have a preference over which physical form, or is it just basically the entire package It's the entire package. But if I were to choose I'd choose the monster form. Okay. I do like the actor a lot that plays him, but I've really like appreciated his work in other things but not necessarily found him attractive in other things. So I would say it's more the character, but also the monster that's interesting. Yeah. In 1981, An American Werewolf in London gave us nurse Alex Pryce, played by Jenny Agutter. I was first swooned by this lovely lass in the 1976 science fiction classic Logan's Run, where she played Michael York's lead love interest, Jessica six. While others on my list I might enjoy having my way with then discarding like a used condom, Jenny awakens something deeper in my cold, dead Soul An enchantress, she passionately ignites a yearning I once thought dead. Awakening in me. And exposed melting hearts, bursting with romance and everlasting love in the happiest of ways. beyond her uniquely esthetic looks. Jenny conveys the beautiful, nurturing side of womanhood. Being British and playing a nurse only somehow amplifies that magnetism. She has a heavenly quality that shines on screen, but with an authenticity that passes for a real person one might be fortunate enough to encounter once in real life, Interesting light. So that kind of switches up the dynamic, rather than you being the one to care for. She can care for you. Yeah, that's an interesting way to look at it. The flow is reversed. There's, added layer. I would say to her in that there happened to be a woman who lived next door to us that looked like she could have been her twin, that I was crushing on a bit when I was a kid. But, for her, she had such a unique look. She wasn't your standard carbon copy sort of actress of any era, and she looks so distinctive. And I think for me, part of her appeal was that she looked like no one else had ever seen before, yet was still beautiful. And that's a weird thing in that you have studies that analyze what makes people beautiful and they say, big eyes, big lips, symmetry and so forth. But for me, people of different races and just even within the same race can have completely different features. I mean, radically differently shaped faces and so forth. And there's still like hot. And I can't quite put my finger on what it is, but it's there. And she fits all the standard markers. But, she strikes a chord somehow. And I know I'm not the only one because I've had this conversation with guys like when I was a kid and and something about her stands out in my whole, the whole, whatever range of women that I've ever seen. I don't even know, like, I didn't even know her name was Jenny Agutter until I did this. This thing. It's not a household name, Yeah. I mean, I think definitely having a striking or unique look is something that can has, like a pull to that person. And I think, you know, you're talking about what's considered, you know, agreed on conventionally attractive. And I think probably the people usually considered conventionally attractive, I don't find attractive. I mean, we all we all have, I guess, the different things that, speak to us, And next up, a human pick, not only not, but human. Tate Langdon from American horror story, murder house Evan Peters is a constant horror crush of mine. No matter the role, he is plain. In fact, I even found him quite lovable in his early career, where he often played the goofball sidekick before he started to really thrive in the shadows. Yet it's there where my infatuation really took hold. I could make a case for many of his roles, but Tate LinkedIn is still the character that has the biggest hold on my heart. As Violet knows, loving Tate is without a doubt controversial and morally concerning, but still never wavering and undeniable. He offers a pretty peak example of dark romance, especially for those that swoon to the macabre and offbeat. There is a soft, passion fueled sweetness in him. There's also undeniable darkness in him, even if not of his own volition. He is a bit of an enigma, lost and unaware of the monsters in him at times, and all too familiar with it at others. Something that plagues him, especially as it tears him apart from the only love and light he has known. One could make an argument that there was always a monster within him. His mother acknowledges it, being clear she was meant to be a mother to monsters. But by the end of his story, it's clear that hellish force is alive within the murder house, beyond any human comprehension or possible interference to cold, and used him and many others as a vessel, a means to an end, to unleash a greater destructive force among the world's. Much of what we see of him appears to be the makings of a psychopath, but there is still tenderness and ferocious love in him that remains stronger even at its worst and most unforgivable times. The raw emotion and vulnerability within him have my heart breaking for him, so desperately wanting him to find his happiness in the afterlife. I think Evan is a good example. Bringing back to our talking about about actors who can, you give them a different character and then they can present a completely different person, despite physically them looking the same. Evan. He was one where I thought in that first season, like, oh, he's just, that guy that I just saw play that character and he's, I don't I haven't seen him in anything else besides that at the time. And then I thought there was nothing especially stand out about him until I saw him playing a completely different character on a different season and then a different season from then playing a completely different character from there. Like, wow, this guy's got some amazing range. He can definitely, do the actorly thing in a way that earned my respect. But it it took a bit of seeing those different characters perform for me to, sufficiently get hit over the head enough with him to recognize that. And I think that was my bad, because I was somehow taking for granted that he was just that guy in that thing. He played it so effortlessly. He was so that character in the first season, that I didn't even recognize that there was an actor there. I just thought, oh, that's is one note is one trick pony kind of a thing, but wow, this guy's actually got some talent. Yeah. Yeah. Some of the first things I saw him and were, like, really more comedic, like coming of age goofy. So I guess that was my first, like, introduction to him and then scene murder House. But I feel like even if that was the first thing I saw him and again, that that character just totally captured me. And it was again, how how well he played those opposites. At times there's just like, no humanity, just totally cold and merciless at times he's haunted by himself. At times he has this bigger emotion and sweetness. There's just like, so much like great complexity. But definitely the more, the more he kind of works, especially within the horror world. And you saw more of these characters, I think definitely more so. And, it's interesting, right now I'm really loving The Beauty also by Ryan Murphy, effects, which Evan stars in. And it's probably like the most different character I think I've seen him in. Who knows? We're halfway through the season, things could get darker, but, as of now, he's like a pretty, like, well-adjusted guy. So that's it's interesting to see him still continue to, to tackle something different. And continue to show that range. It's like when you see Bill Skarsgard, you know, even if he's playing somebody that's kind of ordinary, like a regular person, you know, that they cast Bill Skarsgard because he is going to go, on some pretty wild places later. And so there's this anticipation like, oh, something really good is going to happen. And Did you see barbarian? Because I kind of reminds me of what you just said. Yeah, I think that's what I was thinking of. Yeah, I appreciated that because, again, I love when he plays those, like, dark, complex, haunted characters. But, I liked I liked how they kind of like, again, I don't necessarily love that movie as a whole, but I liked things about it. And I think one thing it did really well because almost they know is I want to say typecast, but he's definitely known for those type of characters. So Bill Skarsgard is here in this like off happenstance sort of a thing. You expect him to be creepy or for things to go dark and bad. And it's it's a good kind of like fake out. And I think it was good for him just to give him the chance to play a different character. I was taken aback and even impressed by his acting ability to just be a person that had nothing extraordinary happening. Yet he can still just be an ordinary guy to not. He's not having to go, play everything over the top. He can just play it right where it needs to be. 1935 Bride of Frankenstein gave us Elsa Lanchester as the bride, An unhinged monster doll. Patch worked together from the corpses of multiple dead women. I don't even know how to articulate what makes her so enticing to me, but wow. Somehow, through all that and iconically ravishing woman manages to shine through. In my opinion, no portrayal of the bride before or since has come vaguely close to Elsa's. To many, but not me, of course. The bride expresses the male fantasy of constructing a mate to one's ideal specifications, including the option of missing vocal chords. A similar daydream again, not me, of course, involves the creation of a lifelike female robot companion, fully realistic and functional to the smallest detail, a dream finally near being realized today. Well, I tried my performance, but I agree. Elsa's queen. I didn't even think about that until you said that. But I did cast Kelsey here as the Bride of Frankenstein. And, I don't know, I think you're a different character in a way, because, like, I took so many liberties with that, shooting lightning from your fingers and kind of reinvented the character. I think Mary Shelley would have, rolled in her grave if she saw what I did with it. All right. Back to vampires. And as I said, my list is not quite half Scar's guard, but there's, about a third of representation here. Next up, Eric Northman of True Blood. Eric Northman, the vampire Viking god, stands tall as one of my top fictional blood drenched flames. And not just because of scar scars. Ample hype. His human life as a Scandinavian prince ended over 1000 years ago, when his family was massacred by wolves, leaving him with a blood soaked crown and vowed to avenge his family. being heavily wounded in battle and an inch from death, he was turned with a choice to welcome death or realize his lust for life, choosing the latter eventually becoming a vampire sheriff. Owner of the fang banger friendly vampire bar Fantasia, and a maker to the equally snarky and vicious Pam, a constant, loyal companion and their undead lives just as he was to his own maker. I watched the first season of True Blood when it aired, and then quickly lost myself in the books. Both were. I was a devoted Eric Northman fan. Eric is still just as swoon worthy as the first time I ventured into Fantasia, and captured his powerful gaze as he sat upon his throne. The scars guards do have a rather ethereal power of limitless allure, even in roles where his actions are reprehensible. There's something about Alexander I can't help but be enamored by definitely making my moral compass far murkier in most roles. He is definitely crush worthy, but Eric Northman, the first of his characters that stirred my soul, is still my favorite. He is very much my type of vampire dark, mysterious, aloof, and deliciously menacing. He is rough around the edges, has a biting dark humor, and is fiercely loyal to a very select few, relishing in the blood, hunger, and perceived monster. Without shame or hesitance, he can be self-loathing, or he can be a valiant, cold or devoted, sarcastic or genuine. There's a definite intensity, complexity and strength within him, but not without the ability for deeper emotional layers. while I love the self-aware, calculating, fierce Erik, even during the time when he was cursed and essentially forgot who he was living like a carefree, blissful, newly born being, he was also rather pure and lovable, while still having a core piece of the instinctual vampire Viking within him. He is absolutely a favorite vampire character of mine. My favorite Alexander portrayal, and a forever deadly but delicious Valentine. 1982 Poltergeist. Every guy hearing that knows exactly where I'm going with this here is the ultimate natural beauty and charm of Jo Beth Williams, the ideal devoted wife and mother to her children. The breathtaking Williams cast against the average looking Craig T Nelson as her spouse made her seem all the more obtainable in the fantasies of men. We could be just like Craig T Nelson and one day have someone just like her. Anything was possible to me. Jo Beth represented that one stunning stand out mom of someone at our school that every boy was secretly or openly infatuated with, for whom they first fully recognized a clear, powerful attraction to women, someone they will always remember to their dying day. She embodies the pure natural beauty. I hoped to one day grow up and marry. He would then go on to birth my many children, mothering them with the same unmatched protective instinct displayed in the film. That didn't happen. If you met her today as she was, then would you have the same desires? Yes, and I think there's something validating in that. As a boy, I was able to recognize traits that carried through to adults, and I think she just had those sort of universal, points that all men there's a straight man is being very attractive. And on a primal level. But she was something, about her that was so charming was that she was like a real person, like, don't know how much of that is just JoBeth Williams and how much is the character she was playing? But I'm pretty sure much of it was just JoBeth Williams. And there's a whole discussion to be had about, what qualities that are attractive in men and women are earned or just luck of the draw, born with good genetics and something just a magic coincidence of elements make you this person that you are. But for her I don't know. And I don't care how she got to be that way. It's just, a miracle. Well, my next pick does not have many admirable traits. I have to say. Next up is Kai Parker from The Vampire Diaries. Kai is a sociopathic cipher and our witch of the Gemini coven, who murdered most of his family and was then trapped in a supernatural in 1990s purgatory prison world for 20 years before clawing his way out to spread more havoc. Kai is an absolute and proud sociopath with a wicked, unrelenting sense of dark humor and a cunning nature. While others on the list are ruthless monsters to most of the world, they have capacity for passion and tenderness, at least for the one that connects to their soul and makes their heart burn with a love they didn't know they were capable of before them. Kai, on the other hand, never experience any emotion beyond rage or a maniacal glee until, of course, he was magically cursed with a conscience, something so foreign to him he couldn't wrap his mind around the concept of tears, even making him feel like an alien specimen. My fascination is both in the character and what Chris Wood brings to the role, of course, all his own. Equally hilarious and vicious, he's one of the most unhinged, irredeemable on my list. And yes, I love him wholeheartedly. Even among the Vampire Diaries fandom, he is a very hate him or love him character. so you either feel the dark fascination and relish in his wicked humor, or you utterly despise him. I wish I had seen literally any of the content of which you are talking about, so I have something to contribute. I don't even know what their faces look like. I don't know the actors, just completely over my head. So I'm hoping Louis, you know. Right. Yeah. Okay. That that first one. Yeah. Fair enough, fair enough. But yeah, there is all thanks to Julie Plec. A big portion of my list are characters she created, a lot from The Vampire Diaries. And there's two spinoff shows Were those based on books? Yes. I'm sure you saw this one coming. Winona Ryder has appeared in many horror and horror adjacent material, including Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula, alien Resurrection, along with a slew of dark Tim Burton fare, including Beetlejuice and Edward Scissorhands. There was something about her early, misunderstood, outsider goth like portrayal which begged us as men to take her in. Winona was a standout with her classically beautiful features sporting an unconventional short hairstyle, and she really pulled it off. Years ago, I remarked to my girlfriend at the time how hot went on it was, and I'll always remember her confused response, telling me she's cute but she's not sexy. I guess there's a difference between how men think versus women. To us, generally speaking, any kind of positive attribute that might be deemed attractive in a woman immediately triggers some level of sex response. Cute. Pretty. Beautiful. Gorgeous. Exotic. Funny. Creative. All of it equally makes us want to have sex with them. Kelsey, does that sound surprising and foreign to you? I think it's really a matter of how you experience attraction, and for some people, and you might see someone and just based on their looks, you might have that type of response. For some people, it's more it's more about the emotional connection, the, the mindfulness and who that person is at their core. And even within sexual attraction, those might be things that you can act on and makes them more attractive to you. But I would say like that really, that really varies. Person honestly like to bring the bill Skarsgard example. I did not find him attractive when I first saw him, but I was so drawn and connected and enthralled with his characters, and now I find it very attractive. So again, maybe that's a difference in how I experience attraction. You know, that it's it's more of that deeper connection to the person and their energy and spirit that speaks to me more. Yeah, it sounds like he had to earn it more. And I think once a woman has decided that she's attracted to a guy, then things like a sense of humor and stuff, like any positive attributes from there can be more of a turn on, but I think it's, Yeah, just we're wired differently. Let's leave it at that. Yeah. Back to the scars. Guards! Pennywise the Dancing clown himself is admittedly one of my most unconventional yet all consuming horror crushes. Bill Skarsgard, especially in the horror realm, inspires that dark fascination. there are many of his characters that I'm taken with. But him, as Pennywise specifically is on another level. His presence is enough to immediately pull me to the sewers. He can so quickly turn from soft, playful and luring to utterly savage and lethal, relishing in the hunts, the eldritch horror, true monstrous nature within morphing and limitless beyond his piercing golden eyes, so removed from humanity, so unpredictable and with power beyond comprehension, only makes him more enticing. A perfect example of one who inspires great terror, tantalizing tension, wonder, and a dangerous yet absolute sensual bond. My tasty, tasty, beautiful fear is all his. in comments. In point of fact. feel like I know you too well to where I kind of predicted that we would be exactly at this point in the podcast and what I wrote perfectly dovetails with what you just said. So it's almost uncanny Okay. at this point. If you can choose Pennywise the Clown, deranged killer of children with bulbous cranium and rows of razor sharp teeth as your peak sexual desire, I can unashamedly go with Daphne from Scooby Doo and not any live action portrayal of her either, but the original cartoon reruns from, like, the 1960s. Apparently this means I suffer from tuna philia, which is the fetish of being attracted to cartoon characters emotionally or sexually. At least when I was a little boy, before I had any understanding of what sexuality even was. In fact, I can't actually think of many other examples of feeling that way about a cartoon. So perhaps it was just my then child brain and then undeveloped child's genitalia, unable to process my then budding physical desires for adult women can be weird. Anyway, I undeniably found myself drawn to this cartoon, if you will, a character clearly designed to evoke strong feminine characteristics with her long flowing hair, perfect face, youthful innocence, slim waist, short dress, long exposed legs. It's getting hot in here. All that reinforced by an actual woman's voice. I don't think it would be a stretch to say that she was clearly designed to be sexualized on some level, and I don't even know. If this was the case back then, but her last name is Blake. Did you know that? Was there something they did develop later? Daphne Blake. Does anyone sound familiar? me offhand, I probably wouldn't have have said that Well, that makes me feel better. We did a podcast years ago where you asked me what my earliest influences were in horror, and I think I said Halloween, that holiday or something. But the next day, I realized it was probably watching Scooby Doo that really sparked my interest in in this, Hobbies me all the time. You're like, should have thought of this, but that makes sense. I think it was a very pretty iconic. And over a lot of generations, it was just a spooky, fun show that I, I think it ties into a lot of, a lot of current, I guess mystery fueled horror. Yeah. I think, this whole idea of, coming up with a list of things is kind of similar in, in the sense that tomorrow I will think of some other woman and like, God damn it, I wish I would have put her in this last one and I'll bring it up in a podcast two years from now trying to tie it back together. Can't wait. Well, you know what? I can't, I can't shame you or have any judgment for that at all. A it makes sense. And you didn't even mention her masterful sleuthing Oh, Isn't that attractive? Well, I suppose that could turn me on. I think anything she did, I think she was the least, she had the least agency. I think she was more about, Like, what's happening? Somebody save me from, whatever. I'm in a sinking room or the walls are caving in. And I think that was more her role. She was more eye candy. I suppose Fred was kind of like the male counterpart to that. He was more of the brains, but he was kind of the hunky guy. And, I'm convinced that these last names were developed, like in the 90s or something, but he apparently has the last name too. But, anyway, that's that they've morphed so much over the years to where I don't even think The Velma show had any horror elements. It was more strictly the sleuthing kind of thing. I didn't watch it, but, I think that was one of the most core elements of Scooby Doo was the ghosts and the horror elements. And I think that's gone now. Is it? I didn't watch it. You tell me. I didn't watch that show. I've watched like some of the more recent Scooby-Doo movies. Oh, that was still a part of it. And those I don't even. I've never seen a Scooby Doo movie, Oh, really? but, there's some that's that's so 90s to me to see pictures of that in those specific actors. I think it was, Sarah, I think she's in that. And there's a couple of guys from, like, scream or something in there, and it just screams the 90s. But, one of these days, I'll check those out. Yeah. I would say the the movies are pretty good. I mean definitely a different I think it honors the original like energy and dynamics and. Well but of course it's going to be a little different. Sure. And also I do have a pretty it's not horror, but I do have a pretty big crush on a video game character that's computer generated, so no shame. Oh, and makes me feel weirdly better. My top horror crush is Damon Salvatore of The Vampire Diaries, turned in 1864 without his consent. He is a vampire who fully thrives and embraces his dark, chaotic nature, openly acknowledging he came into his own as a vampire and transformed in a way that never would have been possible had he stayed human. Damon is not only my number one crush of Dark Desire, he's my favorite vampire, and certainly, at least among my favorite fictional characters across any genre. He had me since Hello Brother, which was the first line he spoke in the show. His dark, witty snark, the rare but fierce loyalty and limitless passion within him, even his damaged personal demons and reckless nature that can be triggered so easily. I'll make him my undying Bloody Valentine. but really more than anything, is how fully he embraces who and what he is, regardless of other's moral expectations and judgments. Even among his own demons, he fights for others to live this way, to unburden and true to themselves. Within this there are riveting emotional layers and depth many don't see, but always was so evident and magnetic to me. A spirit to spirit electricity that is still the strongest I have experienced with any fictional character. There are times he's fueled by revenge, times he has possessive and selfish times he commits cruelty and atrocities to cope with his own demons, or even simply out of boredom. And yet I wouldn't change a thing about him. And in fact, I'm deeply committed to his happiness, rage flickering within me. For those that hurt or disrespect him, I will always choose you. Damon Salvatore. And just as one little follow up, years ago, I was, with a friend. We were in the green room of Jimmy the Jimmy Kimmel Show, and there was two guest stars, which this was just like the perfect episode because Ian Somerhalder, who plays Damon, was one of them, and the other was Emma Watson. So it was just tying into two of my fandoms that I had followed in for ten plus years at that point. Now, now longer. And, you know, so it's kind of like when the actors, you know, come out to go on the show and come back, it's a little bit separate, but they're kind of walking just adjacent to you. And as he walks back, I happened to be sitting to this person, I don't know. She was an older woman and I think it was like, yes, he's a striking individual. But again, it was so much more. Again, I loved this character even from the books, even before I, I ever saw it on screen and what he brought to the role. But a huge part is what he, what he brought alive in, in Damon and just loving this character so deeply and he walks by and this only time this has ever happened to me, my life. I did like a very old Hollywood physicals, like full body swoon. Like I was literally so over whelmed just by his presence and just everything that was tied into the character and everything it meant to me. I'm like, I literally cannot handle your being in my presence right now. I did a physical swoon and the lady next to me, I think had a similar reaction, and she whispers to me, oh, he's very attractive, isn't he? I go, Wow, that's quite a moment. yes, the power of Damon Salvatore. Well, normally they say never meet your heroes, but it sounds like sometimes it's the opposite of that. It's Well, I don't have any similar stories to that. I've seen my share of celebrities, but I usually just clam up and, introverts, violently. And they walk by awkwardly and pretend I'm not there. But I've seen a few in grocery stores and, you know, various other places, but, I think I'm getting better about it, but, Did you ever go into the the conventions to get an autograph from one of these people that we're talking about today? No, I don't generally I don't really do that like I love. Well, I guess I, I'm a bigger fan of, like, the Halloween focused on conventions more for getting a taste of Halloween when it's not Halloween especially, it's they're usually kind of like off season or like, you know, before the Halloween season hits. So I love, like the, the immersive experiences and just seeing the creativity with some of the sets and actors. So that's usually like my biggest, you know, reason for going. But then there's also like the celebration of Halloween and, you know, just the macabre things in life and all that. But if I see someone at like, a booth, I'm like a fan of, I feel like I would just, like, look over and be like, oh, that's cool, that's that person. But I'm not usually someone who feels the need to like, oh, let me get their autograph or a photo or things like that. I feel like it's if it even if it's someone you really love, it's like, what are you really going to say to them that's going to be memorable or impactful, where I guess, you know, doesn't hurt a nice moment. You're like, cool, I met this person in real life, but it, I don't know it. It isn't something that always, like, draws me in. If you thought I would forget Naomi Watts from the ring, then au contraire. One might even consider her role in Peter Jackson's 2005 King Kong to be horror being basically a monster movie, and she certainly shined in that one, too. Released in 2002. The ring follows Rachel Keller, a journalist and single mom. If we compare her to the Scream queens of the 1950s and even earlier with Fay Wray in the original 1933 King Kong, we can see how far women in horror have evolved. And I think that's the main point I want to make with her. yes, she may still have been unrealistically beautiful. And she did do some screaming. But beyond that, she was ambitious and career minded and very flawed off the top of my head. Very positive. She had a negative, being borderline negligent of her son, always poking her nose where it didn't belong, and coldly risking the lives of others to reach her objectives. My point is, we had reached a point where women were no longer one note screeching idiots with big boobs. Here we had an A-list actress required to deliver a complex character. Her sex appeal was not her main character trait, but an unacknowledged single layer of her identity. I think that, you know, a flawed but real. And again, she was trying to try and uncover a hefty, haunting mystery among and moral dilemmas because, like, ultimately it's like, do you want to be terrorized and die, or do you want to make someone else terrorized and die? Yeah, I'm surprised we haven't done that film yet. Yeah, that could be an interesting one. That I had watched horror films, you know, before then. But I think that was like, I think I was around 13 when that came out, and that was around my era of like really getting into horror. I remember even with friends, we used to do like the home video, like random amateur horror movies all the time. And we, I think, did our own version of the ring and then like you just we didn't don even with like, proper effects or editing or anything like that. And then making the person's face all messed up once they were once the curse set in. But yeah, I think that was that was a pretty, I guess, memorable film for me. I think more in my journey as a horror fan when it came out. For my honorable mentions in rapid fire and no particular order, first, we have Catherine Zeta Jones in The Haunting 1999. Also, Claire Bloom, who played the same character of Theo 36 years earlier in The Haunting 1963. Then there's Phoebe Cates in Gremlins, Jamie Gertz in The Lost Boys, Dee Wallace in Cujo and The Howling, Isabelle Adjani in Nosferatu the Vampire. Sigourney Weaver in Ghostbusters had a huge crush on her in middle school, Sarah Paxton in The Innkeepers, Total Cutie Pie, Kate Beckinsale in Van Helsing, and especially the underworld franchise more recently, Rose Armitage. Did I say that right in Get Out? Specifically, the evil version never drove me out of my mind with desire. I don't know what that was about. And finally, this one's a bit of a stretch, but I'm going to throw in Grace Kelly for Rear Window, more of a suspense thriller by Hitchcock, but when you're that beautiful, the rules just bend to you. If I had to rate her, I'd give her an infinity out of ten. The only other woman in cinematic history to even come close for me would be Angelina Jolie. Do you have a biggest celebrity crush of all time? Horror or not? Kelsey Ian Somerhalder slash Damon Jesus Christ, Say it again slowly. Ian Somerhalder oh, sometimes also known as the smolder holder. Oh, wow. but yeah, he's Damon. Yeah. You didn't even have to think about that at all. It's funny, like, occasionally, you know, it's a friend. You'll do the like. Oh would you rather like this crazy situation and I'll be like a character I really, really love? But if Damon slash Ian's in the mix. Nope. Like, it's my. There's no thinking here. I will always choose him as as, Coco's interesting. I didn't even have any idea what he looks like. But I look forward to seeing whatever pictures you send me of him. Wound. Yeah. For me, when I was, I think 9 or 10, I was passionately in love with Carrie Fisher, who played Princess Leia. Passion and I don't think anybody has since, elicited such drive in me. So passionate love since Carrie Fisher and, she's one that, we lost early, but that's not really horror related, so we want to go down that rabbit hole. All right. Now, a couple questions. It's funny that I wrote this before I even heard your list, and it still works. There seems to be a pattern where the men you are attracted to are more the antagonists or villains, even bad boys, I dare say, while the women I'm attracted to are often the victims or damsels in distress. Modern politics aside, I think this is something wired into each of us on some level, like it or not. Care to comment? Yeah, I mean, I have it's also because it's within within horror. I mean, I probably could have picked like Evan Peters character, for example. That was like an even him on the beauty right now or, you know, any number of other ones that was less, That that dealt with certain demons a little less, you know, like there are other portrayals, but I would say, like within other genres, like there probably are more cases of me crushing on just for like the sweet, pure hearted character. But, I don't know. It's also like within a fantasy sort of fictional scenario. And for the most part, it's it's the characters more so than the actor playing. I'm like, the actor definitely like adds a lot to it, I think. And there are some that I like, love every character they play. So obviously there is a connective element there, but luckily, I mean, this is not, how I would go about my dating life and in real life. So there is a pretty like a strong distinction for me, luckily. Otherwise I'd probably be murdered by now with, my taste. But yeah. No, absolutely. I as before, I even really needed to write the list. I, knew there was going to be. It was going to be revealing to how much I love monsters. Well, this is an interesting dovetail to my next question. My last question. It also seems like that you are able to form a romantic attachment to the idea of a character, whereas I'm more about a specific actress who played a character. Yeah, that checks out. I wonder if that's a female thing. like, romance novels, there's a lot of books being written now that are kind of smutty, but they're they're really not based on a person. I mean, they could be, something that an actor played or whatever, but typically you're imagining these characters while you're reading the book and there's no physical person that it's based on yet. These are wildly popular with women in in reading these romances and other young adult and whatever other formats they come out in. But man, I think we're more I don't know, we just respond to the, visual stimulation of a hot chick or whatever, and actress and so forth. And it's more physical. It's more down there than up here. It's somehow a different way to process our feelings and different reactions. So I think that's it's interesting and frustrating because I want to know how women think. But it's like, good luck. whether you swoon at the thought of a dark romance with one that understands and compliments your brand of strange and unusual, or hold tightly to the not today Cupid mindset. May you indulge in whatever delicious darkness exhilarate your mccombs soul and what we shall claim as bellowing I like that. Did you make that up or is that always the thing? I think it's kind of more of a thing now. Like I've even seen a lot of like, gothic stories being like our values and special. But again, these are like the very goth horror centric year round brand of people. So us basically If you would like to join our Society of Grotesquerie and Loathing. Subscribe now and give this podcast a like and be sure to comment your hottest crushes in horror. Who did we miss? Keep our podcast suffering on by finding it in your cold, black, withered hearts. To support us on Patreon, A link to our PayPal is also below. For one time, donations of any amount. It was nice knowing you.