Episode 409: Could Becoming a Happier Teacher Be as Easy as This?

In today's Teaching Middle School ELA podcast episode, The fastest way to make next year feel different isn’t a new binder or a prettier calendar. It’s a single belief you stop treating like a fact. As we hit the end-of-year home stretch, I want to pause and name what you’ve done: you showed up for kids on low sleep, graded the essays, survived the assemblies, handled the behavior, and kept going even when you felt like you were drowning. If this year felt unusually hard, you’re not alone and you’re not imagining it.

If you’re ready for less stress, better time management, and a healthier teacher life, press play, take the reflection, and share what you’re willing to be wrong about. Subscribe, leave a review, and send this to an ELA teacher who needs a reset.

Transcript

Welcome And EB Academics Mission

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Hi there, ELA teachers. Caitlin here, CEO and co-founder of EB Academics. I'm so excited you're choosing to tune into the Teaching Middle School ELA podcast. Our mission here is simple: to help middle school ELA teachers take back their time outside of the classroom by providing them with engaging lessons, planning frameworks, and genuine support so that they can become the best version of themselves, both inside and outside of the classroom. And we do this every single day inside the EB Teachers ELA portal. This is a special place we've developed uniquely for ELA teachers to access every single piece of our engaging, fun, and rigorous curriculum so that they have everything they need to batch plan their lessons using our EB Teacher Digital Planner that's built right into the app. Over the years, we've watched as thousands of teachers from around the world have found success in and out of the classroom after using EB Academics programs. And we're determined to help thousands more. If you're interested in learning more, simply click the link in the podcast description. And in the meantime, we look forward to serving you right here on the podcast every single week. Well, hello teachers, and welcome back to another episode of the Teaching Middle School ELA podcast. I am excited to dive into today's episode because it's just a really thought-provoking one. It's an interesting one, and I think it's gonna serve you as we head into the end of the school year as you think about next year and how you can do things a little bit differently that will better serve you in the long run. So I want to first acknowledge where you are right now. We are closing in on the end of the school year. I know that we have a couple weeks left, some of us, some of us get out next week. Very jealous of you. Some of us still have a month left. We go into June. But regardless, we're at the finish line. It's the last mile, it's the home stretch. As my dad always said, this is when champions are made, is in that last mile of the race. And I just want you to acknowledge how much you showed up this year every single day for a classroom full of 12, 13, 14-year-olds, 11-year-olds who just needed you. And they needed you even on the days when you had four hours of sleep and a cold coffee and were barely hanging on by a thread. You got the essays graded, you survived all of the assemblies, you made the copies, approximately like a million of them. You did a recess duty in the rain, you sent the parent emails, right? You made it work over and over and over again, even when the work feels impossible. And I think it deserves to be said out loud and recognized out loud that you did that. Like take a look back at the year and take a look back at what you accomplished, what you were able to overcome, how you were able to get through, even on the days that you didn't think that you would be able to, you did it. And I just also want to acknowledge that if this year felt harder than any year before, that you're not imagining it. We've been hearing this from a lot of teachers from all across the country, that this year was particularly challenging. Behavior, lots of issues going on. And the fact that you are still here, still listening to the podcast, still invested in becoming a better version of yourself as a teacher, that says everything about who you are. That's pretty cool. That's pretty remarkable. So you need to breathe, like really take a breath, like big breath in. And when you're ready, we're gonna talk about next year. I know, I know. You're like, Caitlin, come on, for real. But yes, you are in summer mode, end of the school year mode. I get it. You want to just beach read and Netflix binge and enjoy the blissful silence of not having to set an alarm clock. You do not want to think about school. And I'm not really asking you to think about school per se. Like we're not gonna talk about planning right now, I promise, although I could talk about that all day. But I am asking you to do one small thing. And that is one reflection. Because if you take a few minutes with this exercise today, or as you get to the end of the school year, right at the start of summer, maybe you want to come back and listen to this episode again. I guarantee you that you will walk back into your classroom in the fall as a genuinely different teacher. Not because you overhauled your entire curriculum, not because you batch planned this summer, which I hope that you do, and I suggest that you come to batch planning live, but because you shifted something on the inside. Because as I talked about last week on the podcast, wherever you go, there you are. Wherever you go, there you are. So if you want next year to be different, something on the inside has to shift in order for next year to be different. And so the question that I want you to sit with, that I want you to meditate on, ponder, think about, is this what are you willing to be wrong about? What are you willing to be wrong about? It sounds almost too simple, right? And I always say it's simple, not easy, right? The big things that make a huge difference in our lives, they're always simple, but they're not easy. And I think something that I've come to believe deeply is that it's when you are willing to be wrong about something that you start to create beautiful things. And I'm gonna say it again because I think it's so powerful. When you are willing to be wrong about something, you start to create beautiful things. And I know for my perfectionists listening right now, especially those of you on my staff who are perfectionists, you may have tensed up a little bit and been like, absolutely not, I'm never wrong about anything, right? Because for you, being wrong doesn't feel like growth, right? Being wrong feels like failure. But what I'm asking isn't for you to admit like defeat, it's I'm asking you to loosen your grip on a story or a belief about something that might be keeping you stuck. Because the hard truth is this. What I have found over the years in working with tens of thousands of teachers in every walk of life, in every year of their teaching career, from all backgrounds, it doesn't matter. The teachers who stay exhausted, who stay overwhelmed, and who stay burnt out year after year are not failing because they don't work hard enough. Like that is not the problem. They're working their asses off. What happens is these teachers get stuck because of what they believe is possible. And they treat those beliefs like they are facts. Like that is just the way that things are. But they're not facts, they are thoughts, and thoughts can change. And this is what's so powerful, and I tell our teachers this all the time, especially at Batch Planning Live. We can all, we all do have different experiences simply because of how we choose to see the circumstance. We all have different experiences simply because of how we choose to see the circumstance in front of us. Some of us might approach a circumstance with fear. Some of us might approach a circumstance with courage. Some of us might approach a circumstance with apathy. It doesn't matter. But we're all looking at circumstance and life and our experiences through lenses and beliefs that have been shaped and just embedded into who we are. And so when we challenge those beliefs of what we believe is possible, we start to shift our lives. Like it really, it really is freaking true. And so I want to give you some examples. And as I read these, I want you to just listen, just let them land. And as I say them, I want you to notice which ones elicit like a physiological response in your body. Which one makes you go, oof, I got a little shiver down my spine with that one. Because that one that I say, that's probably the area that you get to work on. So let me give you some examples of things that we are willing to be wrong about. Okay. I am willing to be wrong that being a good teacher means being the last one to leave school each day. I am willing to be wrong that working on weekends is just a part of the job. I am willing to be wrong that grading essays has to take hours of my time every single day. I am willing to be wrong that stress and dread show up like clockwork every Sunday afternoon. I am willing to be wrong that I can't fit everything I need to cover into a 43-minute class period. I am willing to be wrong that anxiety is just a natural part of being observed by my principal. I am willing to be wrong that my students just don't care about what they're learning. I'm willing to be wrong that feeling like I'm drowning is just part of being a teacher. And so I want you to sit with those for a second. One of them probably hit differently than the others. One of them probably made your brain start arguing. You're like, no, but Caitlin, that one is true. I can't fit everything I need to cover into a 43-minute class period. Well, I'm gonna argue and show you evidence of teachers who can. So it's not 100% true. And that's tough love. That's a tough pill to swallow. Because what happens is when your brain starts to argue for all of the reasons why that one is true, all of the evidence, all of the moments from this past year that prove it, we just continue to live that out over and over and over again. And if nothing changes, nothing changes. And so the statement that triggered you the most, that's your statement. That's the area that you get to grow and shift that belief so that next year is different. So here's what's happening when your brain does that to you, right? The moment that you say, I'm willing to be wrong that, your brain goes into the past, right? And it pulls up every single piece of evidence that it has ever collected to prove the old belief true. Well, but Caitlin, I can't fit everything into 43-minute class periods. I've never been able to do that ever. I've planned, I've done this, I've blah, blah, blah, all of the things, right? Our brain automatically does that without your permission. Because what our brain wants to do is put keep stories in it that protect us and that protect its beliefs, right? It's fascinating when we start to think about our thinking, right? That metacognition and that ability to notice what happens when our brains go here. So notice what happens next if we let our brain do this. If we let our brain do this, when you say the state, when you say the statement and then you pause, something can shift. And this has been something that I've learned through some of my spiritual practice is to say, pause, what a gift. When we want to be reactive to something, when we want to fight for an old belief, when we want to run away, when we're afraid or whatever it might be, is to sit there and say, pause, what a gift. This is teaching me something. So that's what I want you to do. When you say the statement that you chose, that's the one that's your statement that you get to work with. I want you to pause and just slightly allow a teeny, tiny bit of belief pop in to your brain that you might be wrong. And that your willingness to be wrong is going to be the thing that sets you free. Because instead of your brain slamming the door on the possibility, it starts to get curious. And your brain starts to wonder, well, what if I am wrong? What would that mean? What would I do differently if I was wrong about this? And that wondering, that curiosity, that is where everything starts to shift. That is the moment that you become coachable. How cool is that? And like, think about the students you've had who struggle the most, not necessarily academically, but the students who struggled because they refused to take feedback. They refused to try a new approach. They were so set in their ways, they're like, absolutely not, I'm not doing that. And you could see their potential as an outsider so clearly that it was almost painful to watch and see them just locked behind a wall of self-protection. Because these stories keep us safe, right? We do the same thing as adults, all of us. These stories are things that we hold on to because they keep us safe and stuck to an identity that has up until this point served us in some capacity. But if we want to change, if we want a different year, we have to have the willingness to just consider that maybe, just maybe, there's another way. And maybe that way is better. And so last week you heard me talk about the CTFAR framework, and that is circumstance, thought, feeling, action, and result. And that is exactly kind of where this experience rather is really where that framework lives. And so we can take one of those statements and we'll run it both ways because I want you to see the difference in black and white. So let's say that the circumstance is your students are struggling with writing. That's just the circumstance. Their scores are telling you that they suck. They're terrible. And so the old thought that I might have around that circumstance is that teaching middle schoolers how to write is hard, it's frustrating, and I hate it. And so that thought creates a feeling of overwhelm, of feeling drained, of dreading every single writing unit before it even starts. And so the action that follows is that you avoid it, you rush through it, you go through the motions. Maybe you even vent to a teacher Facebook group at 10 p.m. And all of these other people corroborate your belief by saying, yes, teaching writing sucks, blah, blah, blah. And you go into a doom scroll. And I say that with so much love because I've been there. It has been a massive amount of personal work to like shift how I approach challenging situations. And I still go into a place where I will spiral, but I'm at least aware of my thoughts. And I'm like, I know that this thought is not serving me right now. I know it's not, let's pick a different thought. Because the result when we do that, we have the thought that writing is teaching writing is hard, we feel overwhelmed. So we avoid it, we rush through it, we complain about it, we go into this doom-scrolling Facebook group where all things go to die. Like, just stop going in those Facebook groups. The result is that nothing changes. Students keep struggling, you keep dreading it, and the cycle continues. Right? If nothing changes, nothing changes. And so the same circumstance with the same students, with the same struggling writers, but we're going to give ourselves a new thought. So let's run it back the other way. So if the new thought is, you know what, I'm willing to be wrong that teaching writing has to be hard and frustrating. I'm willing to be wrong about that. Like, please, someone prove me wrong. Like, let's prove that wrong, right? Maybe there's an approach that I haven't tried yet. Maybe my students can actually love this. And so the feeling that it creates, even when I said it, I felt excitement. I felt openness. I felt curiosity, relief, even like, oh my God, thank God there's a there's a way to do this. Holy, you know. And so then the action that follows, because you have this thought now and this feeling in your body, is that you start to look for something new, right? You try a different framework. Maybe you try the EBW approach for the first time. Or you approach the writing unit with energy instead of dread. And what happens, your students feel that energy because they always do. Your students always feel your energy. Always. If you hate something, they know. Even if you put a smile on your face and have an eppity voice, they know you hate that. Your energy does not lie. And so when we come to it with that energy and those actions, the result is that things start to shift. Maybe not all at once, but certainly incrementally, certainly undeniably. And one day you realize that writing class, oh my God, is actually your favorite part of the day. Same classroom, same kids, same circumstance, a completely different experience. And the only thing that changed was that thought about your willingness to be wrong about it. Damn. That is powerful. Like if you think about that, how many areas of your life could you change? If you said, What am I willing to be wrong about? So that's what I want you to do. I want you to take a few minutes. And I want you to find a quiet moment this week. Maybe it's right after you listen to this episode. Maybe it is before you head into school. Maybe it's a Saturday morning. Maybe you're sitting outside with your coffee at 5:30 a.m. like I do and watching the sunrise. My favorite part of the day, I love it so much. Oh my God, I love it so much. I'm so grateful for that moment in my life. And I want you to ask yourself, what am I willing to be wrong about? And it maybe it doesn't have to have anything to do with school. What am I willing to be wrong about? Write it down. Say it out loud. And then sit in the space that follows. You don't need to rush to fix it or solve it or come up with an end result. Just let the question do its work. And just notice what thoughts come up for you. What particular belief came to the surface? Where did that belief come from? From an experience that you had? And just because you had it once in the past, does that mean that it's gonna happen again? And notice what becomes possible when you loosen your grip on trying to solve it. Not everything needs a solution. Sometimes we just need to sit with the curiosity around the idea of being wrong about a belief that no longer serves us. Because the happier, healthier teacher, the happier, healthier teacher that you want to be next year, they're not necessarily built over the summer with a new planner and a better filing system and a better batch planning system, though that's definitely helpful. And our new planner's freaking cute as hell if you don't have it. But the the happier, healthier you, the happier, healthier teacher, they are built in moments like this one where we are quiet, where we are self-reflective, where we are honest, and where we are willing. That's the work. That's the work. And it's one thing to listen to it. I always say this. It's one thing to listen to it, it's one thing to nod your head and like intellectually. Yep, I get it, Caitlin. It is a whole other thing to integrate this practice into your daily life. And I promise you, life is so much more rewarding. It is so much more fulfilling, it is so much more freeing, it is so less stressful when we choose to have thoughts about our circumstances that serve us better. And so, what are you willing to be wrong about? I hope that this helps you. And if it does, please let us know in the Facebook group if you're an E B teacher. And if you're not, let me know over on Instagram at EB Academics. I love to hear from you guys. All right, teachers, have a beautiful week, and I will see you next week on the podcast. Bye, everyone.