A Contagious Smile Podcast
A Contagious Smile is a powerful platform dedicated to uplifting and empowering special needs families and survivors of domestic violence. Through heartfelt stories, we shine a light on the journeys of extraordinary individuals who have overcome unimaginable challenges. Their triumphs serve as a testament to resilience and strength, inspiring others to rediscover their own inner light. Each episode features candid interviews with survivors, advocates, and experts who provide valuable resources and insights to support those on their own paths to healing and empowerment. Join us as we celebrate the power of resilience, the beauty of shared stories, and the unstoppable spirit of those who turn adversity into hope. Let us guide you in rekindling your spirit, because every smile tells a story of courage and transformation.
A Contagious Smile Podcast
Ripples of Recovery: JJ's Journey from War to Sobriety Independance Day Special, Trigger Warning
Some heroes wear uniforms, while others create sanctuaries for healing. In this powerful conversation, we meet JJ, founder of Ripple Retreat and a veteran with 27 years of military service who transformed his own trauma into a mission of recovery and hope.
After surviving four close calls during deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan, JJ faced another battle with alcoholism that nearly ended in suicide. Standing atop an Australian high-rise ready to jump, a sudden memory of his fallen friend Commander Murphy Sweet became the intervention that saved his life. Now six and a half years sober, JJ has built something remarkable - a non-alcohol retreat center where 75% of profits go directly back to the community.
The episode takes us through JJ's unforgettable "sock story," where seconds spent turning socks right-side out before laundry literally saved him from being killed by mortar fire in Baghdad. This thread of seemingly small moments creating life-changing impacts runs throughout JJ's philosophy: "Pause, love yourself, and be aware of your ripple."
We explore the challenging reality of military service, from writing death letters before redeployment to confronting PTSD after coming home. JJ's work with the Valor Circles program helps veterans navigate these emotional battlefields, while his weekly "Ripples of Recovery" meetings celebrate sobriety milestones rather than just focusing on the daily struggle.
As JJ prepares to begin teaching and leading men's support groups through the Academy, his vision becomes clear - creating spaces where authentic connection and vulnerability can flourish. His ambitious plan to open Ripple Retreat officially on the 20th anniversary of his friend's death speaks to the transformative power of honoring our pain by helping others heal.
What ripple will you create today? Listen, reflect, and perhaps discover how your own challenges might become someone else's salvation.
Oh, here we go.
Speaker 2:Howdy y'all. Welcome to another episode of Take Two. Howdy y'all, welcome to another episode of Take a Smile Unstoppable. I'm here with your lovely sexy host, victoria. She's my vixen and we have a special guest here today. His name is JJ y'all.
Speaker 1:Hello everybody.
Speaker 2:He's the CEO and founder of Ripple Retreat.
Speaker 1:Now hold on. Now you can't just say we have a special guest, jj's like a brother to me, so that makes him like your Bill brother-in-law. Yeah, so give him the.
Speaker 2:You just make that up.
Speaker 1:I did, wasn't it great? Quick and great. And the howdy, or whatever you. So give him the. You just make that up. I did, wasn't it great? Quick and great. The howdy or whatever you rednecks do. Very insane Welcome.
Speaker 2:Take it away, Bill.
Speaker 1:Okay, Bill, Hi JJ.
Speaker 3:Hi Victoria and Michael, it's good to see you.
Speaker 1:First of all, from some of us that did not serve, let me thank you both for your service this 4th of July, because this will air tomorrow, on 4th of July. So thank you both for your service and what you have done for this country.
Speaker 2:Thank you. Thank you for thanking us, you're welcome.
Speaker 1:You're welcome. So I have interviewed JJ before. He's given me such an honor to do it on a major, major milestone in his life and I want JJ to kind of tell us how we are partnering up and let him have the floor for a minute, because he so deserves it. Go for it, it's all yours.
Speaker 3:Well, thank you, victoria, I appreciate it. It's my honor to be able to partner with you. My name is JJ and I am the founder of Ripple Retreat, which is a non-alcohol turnkey event center, retreat center and recovery space. I'm over six years sober, like six and a half years sober now, thank you, and I like I believe we all put out a ripple. We all touch people's lives, positive or negative, and I like to put out the positive ripple and with Victoria, we had partnered and teamed up and we're doing just that with your academy. The everything from well, the Valor Circles is my niche. It's for the military and it deals with the PTSD, the coming home, the leaving, going to war and coming back, all of that. And it's been such an honor to be able to work these courses with you and I look forward to how many lives we're actually going to touch with this. So, thank you.
Speaker 1:That's amazing. Now you have actually taken some of the courses and for all of the many, many, many who have yet to do that, can you kind of elaborate, without giving them away, what it's like and how they are? No judgment, no filter, just go for it All right, all right.
Speaker 3:Well, I spent 27 years in the military, have many, many deployments three to Iraq, one to Afghanistan and there's taking these courses. It speaks to me, I mean it hits home to me. I mean it hits home like having to redeploy back to where I was lucky to get out and to begin with. I mean the hard things in life, the fights you have with your family who you love dearly, and you fight with them before you leave, and just things like that. But this course addresses that and there's exercises, exercises in there. There's daily exercises that I absolutely love. I mean it's like writing yourself a letter or those exercise, really exercises, really drives home each lesson and, um I, I applaud you on that. You did a really, really great job of building these courses thank you.
Speaker 1:He's actually been taking them and he goes, it does them every day, Like he literally goes through and he reads it all and he's active in doing the end to independent activity in there. And we have sat down and said what else is needed, Like what else can I do Cause I don't want to misrepresent in any way how and what can we do to impact and help for the better. And so he has given me, like how you write that final letter, you know, coming home and leaving that trauma behind. I don't know if you've read yet or gone into the class that I wrote for the individuals that come home with the anger and come home abusive. I don't know if you've gotten into that I haven't.
Speaker 3:I'm not yet.
Speaker 1:Yes, so there is a plethora in there. And then there's also the Safe Haven Phoenix Center for any anybody who's been through abuse, but then there's also Limitless Recovery Tribe for anyone in addiction or recovery. I'm in recovery from abuse now. Everybody doesn't realize that they are in recovery of some sort, so can you tell us a little bit, because of what you do, about the recovery and how people can benefit from these courses too?
Speaker 3:Oh, certainly. Well, being six years over six years sober, I've gotten gone in and taken recovery coach training and I also started a recovery meeting every Wednesday night at 7 pm Eastern Standard Time. You can go online or in person here in West Paris, maine, and attend my recovery meeting called Ripples of Recovery, where those of us who are in long-term recovery we celebrate and highlight the good in our lives now that we're sober. So it's basically an hour of taking a time out and going hey, look how far we've come. Pat yourself on the back and give yourself some credit, because we're always looking forward and trying to one day at a time.
Speaker 3:Well, I've been doing one day at a time for a long time. It's time to stop and look back and go yeah, since I've done this, my family's come back to me or you. Just things come into your life because you're sober now, or you're out of the heroin addiction, you're out of the alcohol addiction or whatever addiction you had that was ruining your life. Now you get to look back and go hey, I'm actually changing my life. So it's a really great recovery meeting. Ripple Retreat is a beautiful space where we're holding retreats and last year we held a concert. It's a sober, 100% sober concert. It's 100% sober facility. So you could have a wedding here. I'm on 11 acres and you could have a beautiful wedding here, but it has to be alcohol free and that's supporting the recovery community and I have great ties with the recovery community and so and I have, I have great ties with the recovery community and this facility, monday through Thursday, is used for just that.
Speaker 1:And yeah, and it's amazing because he's so full of love and heart when he talks to everyone, he doesn't talk at them, he talks to them and he really, really listens, which is amazing. And another thing JJ's very humble. You need to tell everybody he's giving back to the community and in a way that is so profound that he doesn't really talk about it and he needs to. So now I'm going to put him on the spot and say now you got to See, I'm not a little annoying sister, I love you.
Speaker 3:You're awesome. Okay, since I am retired and I'm living on a pension and because I'm sober, I can tap into the resources the resources being my knowledge and experience and I'm able to build this company. And this company is actually going to give more than it receives. It's going to give a safe space for people on their retreats, on their weddings and whatnot that you are going to pay for, no matter where you go.
Speaker 3:Well, when you pay for it here your money, the profit I make off of every event that happens here throughout the year I'm giving 75% of all that profit to the town of West Paris and local charities. So I'm building a new business model that this business gives more than it receives. I mean it gives to the customer who gets to have their retreats and it gives them a sense of actually doing something for their community because they're going to pay that money whether they go here or down the street, but their money here actually goes to the community and to charities. And as a company and since I've been through a lot, um, I can relate. So I, as a couple ripple retreat as a company will help one homeless family help themselves off the street a year we're going to take a homeless family under our wing and walk them through. Help them get through this process to get off the streets.
Speaker 2:That's phenomenal.
Speaker 1:He's amazing.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:He really is and he doesn't give himself enough credit. I mean, he really is.
Speaker 2:Thank you, Okay Pot.
Speaker 3:What Pot called the kettle black.
Speaker 1:What are you talking about?
Speaker 3:What are you talking about? You don't take any credit for what you do either.
Speaker 2:What? You just won so many awards? No, we won so many. It wasn't me. See, there it is. I just explained to the 40 million listeners that I'm out working and you're in here or sleeping, and so they know that you're in here working, conducting all this business. So you won the awards. But did you say I won the awards? No, you say we, mm-hmm, hi Pot.
Speaker 1:Do you want to throw anything in here too, while you're at it? I'm getting gang-dumbled here. What?
Speaker 3:You are an unsung hero. I mean, you don't give credit to yourself, you give credit to everybody else, but you are driving this beautiful ripple that you're making in this world. You have helped so many people and I am honored to be collaborating, to partnering with you and working with you, and you don't know it, but you're kind of mentoring me, oh.
Speaker 1:So much, that's awesome. See, that's what you get. He just dropped stuff.
Speaker 2:Drop some more equipment.
Speaker 1:Thank you, you don't understand.
Speaker 2:That was sweet.
Speaker 1:He's like the brother I always wanted. He's so sweet. It's like I will reach out to him at like. It was like last weekend, like ate, something at night, I'm like. So I call him and he was busy, but he stopped what he was doing and he listened and I was like I just gotta tell you I'm so. I thought you were by yourself, like I.
Speaker 3:I was having dinner with a friend, but I knew this was important. I could tell by the energy of your message. I was like, yeah, yeah, okay, I can give you a minute, but it was so worth it. Oh, totally, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Because, there is an amazing magazine called Business Life and I don't want to exclude anything else. But Business Life interviewed me and JJ and I are going to be in the article here that's coming out in the next two weeks um, walled off historia and the rents and the you know concierge have it and yada, yada, like everywhere, and it's in you know just, it's in the um lounges at the airport for people to read and and I was like I gotta call him and tell him, you know. And it was like and then I just found out yesterday that there are five other magazines that launch. I thought it was going to be spaced out, yeah, Five.
Speaker 1:I thought they were going to be spaced out in their publication. I didn't know that it was all going to be like right now and so you didn't hear about it, did you?
Speaker 2:She's so humble.
Speaker 1:Yes, she is, she's so humble, yes, she is three are physical in your hand flip the pages and digital, and then two are just digital, and so I'm getting those. They'll be here Saturday and, of course, jj's in there as well, of course he is and it talks about the collaboration of the academy, and hold on wait, stop freeze. We gotta talk about the collaboration of the Academy and hold on, wait, stop freeze. We got to talk about the fact that we need to mention what's going on July 13th, which is the webinar.
Speaker 1:So, you can talk about it, go ahead.
Speaker 2:That's your cookie.
Speaker 1:Well, you like my cookie, so go ahead and start Easy, greasy Keep this PG you never keep our podcast pg holy mackerel, I also just found out that we are going to be in podcaster magazine yeah, that is cool so yes, and we have to use that's not enough.
Speaker 2:Jj, that's not enough.
Speaker 1:We have to use an example of a podcast for everybody to tune in and check out, and I'm going to use this one, of course. So there you go. And I appreciate Women's Weekly, women's Empowerment, savvy Let me think there's Women's Insider. Insider Weekly just gave us another global award, and then Evergreen gave us an award. We got Special Needs weekly just gave us another global award, and then evergreen gave us an award. Um, we got special needs best special needs platform globally. We got okay, I can't change the title of the award, but best transformative trauma domestic violence advocate. That was mine. And then, right, and that's hard for me right now with my speech issue going on and then, um, we also got best advocate domestic violence and abuse and recovery support system. So I mean, yes, and it's not just me, it's a village which is you and jj you say we're the village people why Y M C?
Speaker 2:Okay, jj so go back to your sobriety. We were just talking about the webinar too. I'm talking about his sobriety. So I give up all my hooch, I give up beer, Beer, and you know I'm just drinking wine every once in a while. But I got fatter. I put on like 20-something pounds, man.
Speaker 3:How is that?
Speaker 2:possible. Why is that?
Speaker 3:Because you're eating your addiction instead.
Speaker 2:I mean, I didn't have an alcohol problem, I just drunk it because I like the taste of beer, you know? Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you like the taste of a lot of things.
Speaker 2:Hey PG woman.
Speaker 1:What.
Speaker 2:Did you. So yeah, I was just curious Did you find that that was happening in your life? That?
Speaker 3:you kind of?
Speaker 2:traded one for one, or or did the pounds come home.
Speaker 3:No, I traded. I took exercise up instead of drinking. I mean, I exercise anyway, but when I was craving I would go for a ride, or I mean, during the hard times it was. There's a lot of exercise, I ran a lot of miles, but you got to do something and you're going to replace it one way or another, and if you can replace it with a positive habit that enhances your life, that's the best thing you can do. Sure, but try to to keep it in moderation so also I wanted to piggyback off.
Speaker 2:Uh, you mentioned, you know, you served overseas a couple tours. I did not go overseas, okay, I was. I was here, conus, when I was in the air force. Um, I just fixed the aircraft, you know, put the army on it and let them go over there to fight the wars, but you know, I did my part and planes made it safely there and safely back, so I know I did my part and the planes made it safely there and safely back, so I know I did my part.
Speaker 2:My ptsd jj came mostly from being in law enforcement okay really yeah I did 13 and a half years, uh, and I was a police officer, private detective, sheriff's deputy and canine. So when you're in that type of situation, you're always, always watching your back. You know your surroundings, you watch people, you watch hands keel right. Oh yeah and you never know. No, I'm not making fun of my one-armed wife. You never know. Going into situations, you know what's going to transpire, especially domestic violence calls.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:Police officer. You know, you get them away from the kitchen. You separate the individuals. You always have a backup officer. But oh, I'm sorry I'm off camera. Sorry, buddy, but yeah, my PTSD came from being a cop mostly.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know I saw shadow men coming out of my wall and you know, being young and in law enforcement, you think you always got to sleep with a gun.
Speaker 2:You know, in between your mattress you know or your pillow whatever right, um, but you know, when you draw your weapon at the shadow man coming out of your wall and your weapon happens to be pointed across the stomach of your wife at the time, that's when you take a step back and say what's going on here, what am I doing? How can I fix this? Because I'm scaring the hell out of the current wife, not this one. Come on, dog, get out of you. Know the current wife, not this one. And come on, dog, get out of here. My dog just came up.
Speaker 1:That's because he realizes and says you need him.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:Yes, I know, I'm right.
Speaker 2:So yeah.
Speaker 1:I know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just it's gotten a lot better.
Speaker 3:Yeah, how have you been, how have you been working through that?
Speaker 2:Being with my soulmate right here, this lovely young lady. We found out that I pretty much stopped having the night terrors Not really, but they're a lot less frequent. Okay, right, right, yeah, because I feel safe. Okay, when I lay in bed with her, um, I know I have a safe partner there beside me. Uh, that's going to be there for me. Uh, I know she's not running around on me, I don't have to worry about that. Um, you know she's, she's got my back. So I feel I feel that, that, that secure. You know, she's my security blanket. You know, I feel that secure, she's my security blanket, you know. So, yeah, that's. You know, the dogs help. Our dogs help tremendously because they're extra ears for us. You know, I'm an old guy, I'm 51 years old.
Speaker 2:So, I'm losing my hearing, Don't say anything.
Speaker 1:Wife Wife's almost lost her hearing brother now I'm 99% in the right and 90 in the left and my speech is taking a turn everybody's telling me did you mean to say this? Because you said this and, like my pronunciation, is taking its toll on effect when are you getting the implant? I had imaging done today and, believe it or not, insurance doesn't cover it. It's $300,000.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:Yes. So I'm trying to appeal it, but you know, worst case, I can't wear hearing aids bilaterally because it makes it more confusing for me in this ear. So I don't know. The doctor's going to see what he can figure out and we're gonna go from there. But I did the imaging today and the horrific test on tuesday. So yeah, now we just wait. So let's talk about something other than me.
Speaker 1:Let's talk about the webinar on the 13th, yes, yes indeed so and my husband said to me I'm gonna put you in in the hot seat with JJ and have him talk about you. I was like, oh look, there's Koda People don't think I said squirrel, but Koda is JJ's dog. I love Koda, koda's beautiful.
Speaker 3:Husky Siberian husky Beautiful.
Speaker 1:Blue eyes she's gorgeous, I wasn't like squirrel.
Speaker 2:Victoria's dog has doo-doo brown eyes.
Speaker 3:Victoria's dog is a red-headed golden retriever, who is amazing, and the icon for stucco squad.
Speaker 1:So, yay, yes, that's right so let's talk, gentlemen, about the webinar on the 13th uh, you have some awesome folks coming on yeah, I'm looking at one, yeah yeah I'm on there too. Yeah, I am so excited to be part of this amazing story. It's heart-wrenching. It is a story about her niece being murdered on campus, uh, by her ex, and that is very, very challenging. I did just finished creating a course in honor of her, um really I did.
Speaker 1:That's awesome and it's not live yet, because she wants to get respectfully. So she wants to get the parents of maggie's permission to to do it. Even though there's no last names mentioned, I am trying to get Keelan and JJ to meet. I think that will be a phenomenal mix. My husband has met Keelan. He is a force to be reckoned with. He's absolutely amazing. He is a pistol, to say the least. He's going to be on. He's in recovery. He is just a huge heart, just this and he wants to help as many people as he can. He's just phenomenal. So, and then we, we have a huge lineup and it's great. So why don't you tell us why we're doing it? Jj, what is the reason behind the webinar?
Speaker 3:The reason behind the webinar is because this is the entrepreneurs who have made it. We the best of the best. I mean we should have failed. And my story. I have a ripple that I would love to share that caused my, my trajectory, the the I'm here because of of commander Murphy sweet, my best friend in Iraq, who was killed two days after I got home from Iraq on April 7th 2007,. Because of him, I'm I'm alive today and I am 2007. Because of him, I'm I'm alive today and, um, I am recovering and I'm giving these tools and I'm able to make something out of it and I have. I um, I recently got a letter from a senator get out congratulations, thank you where's the letter?
Speaker 1:I forgot to mention the letter. You have to give a little bit JJ. You've got to explain how Major Sweet did what he did for you.
Speaker 3:Commander, it's Commander Murphy Sweet.
Speaker 1:Sorry.
Speaker 3:Oh, no worries. Navy he was a Navy commander and so, as an alcoholic and having retired from the military, I was free to do anything I want. I was single, I backed, I was backpacking the world, literally, uh, for eight months, going anywhere I wanted, wherever the wind I went, and I was drinking the entire time, and you'd think I'd be happy. I was in Australia, but I found myself on top of a condo getting ready to take a head dive into the asphalt, uh, three stories down. I was upset because I'm going to really devastate my family, my children, um, and I got to the point of I was going through with it. I got dizzy, I was getting ready to do it and Commander Murphy Sweet popped in my head and it felt like a hand hitting my chest and I stopped and I thought, oh my God, he gave his life and I'm getting ready to throw mine away. So I stopped, I climbed back over that railing and, long story short, he stopped me from killing myself.
Speaker 3:I ended up learning how to be my own hero, loving myself and getting myself out of that hole. I even reached out for help. I was in Australia and I got so desperate I grabbed my phone and I dialed 911. Desperate, I grabbed my phone and I dialed 9-1-1 and in australia I got a message. You know, your call cannot be completed. I was like, oh man. So that was when it was like I got a tap on my shoulder says you got to be a hero to yourself. You've been a hero to so many in the world. It's time you'd be a hero to yourself. And I I did. And it was all because of commander murphy sweet. You know, because of him I'm sober and I'm on the track that I'm on and I'm looking to open ripple retreat, completely for profit for the community, on the 20th anniversary of his death. So that will be april 7th 2027 all right, right Amazing.
Speaker 1:And because it's 4th of July and we're going to, you know, thank everybody for the services that y'all did, I'm going to put both of you in the hot seat for just a second and I am going to ask JJ to tell the sock story about how you are such a hero to many and I want you just to to give that, because that that story just stays with me, it moves me, and I'm going to give my hero story of my husband, but I want you to you are my hero.
Speaker 1:I want you to tell the sock story if you will.
Speaker 3:I'd be honored to. Um, yeah, january 23rd, january 23rd 2007,. Actually, I picture that you're in Baghdad, iraq, in the international zone, working endless hours and I, finally, my boss, let me off work early at 7.30 at night. I had been there since like six o'clock that morning and I ran home and I grabbed my laundry and I ran in and we're in barr're in barracks, the they were the iraqi soldier barracks, but we ended up. We were occupying them, um, in the iz and I went to do my laundry and normally I take my laundry and just dump the whole thing in the washer, throw some detergent, slam the lid and walk off.
Speaker 3:Well, I was talking to a buddy earlier that day about we were in the gym working out. I looked at his socks, his white short socks, and was like, how do you keep your socks white? He goes, well, you turn them right side out. And I got thinking, oh yeah, when I take them off, I don't, okay. So when I did the laundry, I stopped and I dumped it all out on the dryer and I turned three pairs of socks right side out and then I scooped it and I went to walk back the direction I had come and a mortar came in and hit the end of the building right where I was going to be, and hit the end of the building right where I was going to be. So had I not turned those socks right side out, I would have been on the stairwell going down where this mortar had hit, and it hit so hard and was so loud.
Speaker 3:You ever see that scene in Private Ryan where he can't hear anything? Right, right, oh, that's real, that's real. And talk about the percussion, everything. Just yeah, oh, yeah and um. After that shock wore off, a guy came out of his room and said hey, joe was in his room and he was the room on the end of the building. So I ran down there and we couldn't get into his door. So I ended up kicking in a blast proof window out of the cinder block wall.
Speaker 3:I don't know how I did it, but I did it. And when I grabbed that window and I threw it out, I looked in and I saw joe sitting half on his bed with literally a brick sticking out of the side of his head because he was standing next to the, the wall that hit that the mortar had hit. Um, I went to unlock the door and just as my hand had unlocked it, the door popped open. It was the medics that they were there that second. They scooped him up and got him to the hospital. The cash, which we call the cash, and a couple of days later I finally got in touch with the doctor to find out how he was doing and he said he was in a coma. And he said, had it taken a minute or two longer to get him to the hospital, he would not have made it because of swelling on the brain. His name is Joe. Have made it because of swelling on the brain.
Speaker 3:His name is Joe, the incident was January 23rd 2007. And I don't know anything more. All other than he was sent to Lahnstuhl in Germany and from there I don't know I lost. I've never found out. So if anybody's listening to this and they know of this incident, please let me know. I would really like to know how Joe's doing.
Speaker 1:Well, reach out to us and we'll let you know how he's doing Right?
Speaker 3:Oh, for sure.
Speaker 1:Let us know Absolutely.
Speaker 2:God, just think about how many seconds that was to flip those socks. Maybe 10, 15 seconds, I don't know. Just a few seconds could have changed your life or ended it rather.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, so it was that's.
Speaker 3:Uh, yeah, I had four close calls, that first tour, I mean yeah, and the?
Speaker 3:The tough day nobody tells you about it's not when you get home and you're re-acclimating to your family and you're not walking around expecting to get shot at or mortars to fall out of the sky. The really tough day is when you get on the plane to go back to Iraq, back to that deployment that you were lucky to survive, and then you get orders to go back and then you're like, oh my God, I'm writing death letters, I'm writing letters to my kids because I'm not going to come back this time. And then you say goodbye to your family and, knowing that you are going to your death, it didn't happen, but that's the way I felt, because I barely escaped my world. Anyway, I and yes, I was not a front front linesman, I was not out there every day in the red zone, um, I went out there a few times, but I was in the iz most of the time and that was just random mortars that would be lobbed in that's crazy an international zone right in the middle of baghdad.
Speaker 3:They, they got saddam's headquarters and all that good stuff and they walled it off and they called it the international zone. And that's where all the countries came together to operate, out of Iraq, out of Baghdad, so all the NATO forces and its international zone, iz. And we call it the green zone because all your weapons are unsafe, and you call it the red zone when you go outside the red zone, because you lock, load and click your weapon to unsafe, which is red. So those are the terms that go with the deployment.
Speaker 2:Wow, Well, I'm glad you took those few seconds, brother.
Speaker 3:Me too.
Speaker 2:What you're doing now, your mission. You're impacting others, and all it takes is one Like my wife got an email or a letter or something from one of the many who have read her book and said that your book saved my life, you know. So that's all worth it In my opinion.
Speaker 3:Yes, sir, that's that ripple I'm talking about.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:See, because I didn't serve in the military. You guys can't give me a hard time on this, which is great for that reason, but my husband husband, even though he did serve I have to tell my hero story here is that my husband was my call for help during my abuse. And not only that, but he also went with me to court and so I so many people didn't understand that we were sitting in the courtroom. He was sitting beside me and I leaned over to him and said he's here and he was like what? And he had already met him in the beginning. And he told him if you hurt her, I'll kill you. That's what he told him in the beginning. And I said he's here and he said no's not, and not even.
Speaker 1:Five seconds later he opens the doors and walks through the courtroom and I'm sitting there and I'm watching, and I'm watching them both, and then I call him idiot, gets up to go out of the courtroom for a minute and out goes my husband Michael. He's like I'll be right back. I'm like wait, wait, what, what? And they both are now out of the courtroom and I'm like this is when I want to go on the men's room, like I want to know what's going on, what's happening, whatever that was like the longest five minutes of my life, because in walks idiot first, and I'm looking for, like dislocations, blood, you know something and I don't see anything.
Speaker 1:And he walks and he's sitting there and I'm looking at his knuckles. I'm looking to see you know something and I don't see anything. And he walks and he's sitting there and I'm looking at his knuckles. I'm looking to see you know if he right, right, right.
Speaker 1:I'm sitting there and I look at him and I was like what happened? And he goes there are some things you just don't need to know and I'm like, well, this isn't one of them. Like I need to know what happened and to this day it's my seventh wonder, if you, because I have no clue what happened. Eighth wonder, whatever.
Speaker 1:I have no idea what happened in that situation. I don't know whatever happened, but he was there for me. He went to court with me. Several times he came up and I remember the first time he met our daughter he was like I still have the text message he sent and he went oh shit, I didn't realize it'd be somebody as beautiful as you. And he's like I'm in trouble and I still have that very text message and he gave me the little poop emoji and all and it was just like you know. And now he's adopted her and that's his baby. And yesterday she went and tattooed. Oh my god, she went and got a daddy's girl tattoo yesterday, whole inside. I'll text you a picture of it, the whole inside of the forearm.
Speaker 1:He said to her when we almost lost her last year, he said to her he whispered to her as he kissed her on the forehead choose your destiny. And so she tattoos this hand of a like a big guy dad hand with his pinky, holding a little girl's hand with a ribbon around it that says choose your destiny, and it's his daddy daughter and it is gorgeous, it is nice, oh wow, beautiful yes, it was so sweet, it was so giving and loving.
Speaker 1:And you know she's like I love you and mommy always said the only person to ever be my dad is you. And everybody who knows them knows they prank each other and love to kid around and she's's like but if you ever cheat on mom, I'm castrating you.
Speaker 2:Like that was right after the tattoo, like they're hugging.
Speaker 1:He's crying. It's a beautiful moment.
Speaker 2:There was pollen. Okay, listen, there was no pollen, there was pollen.
Speaker 1:I videoed it no.
Speaker 2:There was pollen. There was a window open somewhere, there was pollen pollen.
Speaker 1:You know how it is jj, whatever, anyway, yeah so and we're going like it's just, it's beautiful, because in these days, today, people don't want to pay it forward. They're so self-involved, so self-centered, it's like they don't care about anyone but themselves. And when you have statistics like one and four and that could be a wife, a, a mom, a daughter themselves, it could be you know any of these individuals, god forbid that are in a trauma related situation or they're dealing with, you know, being in recovery themselves, or they are in the trenches of it, with special needs individuals like themselves or their children. And then you have these academy, I mean, I mean these courses. We've seen courses that are three, four, five hundred to twenty five hundred dollars a piece and, like our stucco squad, majority of them are free.
Speaker 1:Some of them are 4.99 at most, because all we're trying to do is be able to continue to pay for the platform and all of the other software and expenses that it costs to put them on month after month. Michael and I've never taken a paycheck. I've been doing the contagious smile for 19 years. He's been with me on it now for five. The launching of the Academy none of it. We've never taken a single penny and it's tough. It is so tough because we've been financing it ourself. But if somebody comes and says I can't afford it the $4.99 or you know, because most of them we try to make sure are free, Everything in the Valor Circle is free, but we have people who donate and it's a buy my coffee. We had someone the other day give us 15 coffees, which was amazing and we were so honored and that gives us.
Speaker 1:Thank you, Corey amazing and we were so honored and that gives us thank you, cory. Yes, that gives us 15 additional opportunities to help others and still stay on doing what we do, which is why we're doing the webinar. Every single penny goes back into this scholarship fund to help others. That never get turned away. That, literally, you know, need someone to say'm here, and all three of us know what that's like. I'm here, you're not alone, we're here for you. It may be dark right now, but that tiny little flicker of light is going to start a wildfire and we're going to help you every step of the way and you're not alone. You are not alone.
Speaker 1:I've watched JJ and his meetings and he is just since we saw you last. How's it been? Or how's this going? And it's not so many people just sit and they just listen, but they don't take in. They, you know, or they talk at you, not to you, and that's not how he is, that's not how we are, and that's what makes such a huge difference is because it's so hard to find people who actually are authentic and they care, and that's why I'm so glad that we have partnered with JJ like we have, and JJ is actually going to start teaching.
Speaker 3:Yes, I am.
Speaker 2:Through us. Good yeah, that's awesome brother.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let him tell you about it yeah.
Speaker 3:Going through the course. I couldn't help, but with my experience and whatnot, I feel called to teach the course and be there to help others, because you know recovery is possible and community is the cure. And when you're taking a course like this, it's fine doing it by yourself, but if you have somebody there to help you or just to go through it with you, each course like one course a week that would help, I mean, and we build a community that way. And that's one of the things I love about the recovery community. And you mentioned earlier that you said everybody's selfish.
Speaker 3:Um, there's a lot of people who aren't. There's a lot of beautiful in this world. There is a ton of beauty and humanity and kindness and integrity and love out there. It's just we don't get to see it very often, so it takes us to highlight it. I mean, I have one of my uh, I have a podcast called what's your ripple and it hi. I interview people whose lives have been changed by somebody and I ask them what is your ripple today? Because of that person, and I'm up to 13 episodes. As a matter of fact, I just recorded an episode recently with a very, very special guest from a contagious smile, victoria herself. What?
Speaker 2:yes, and I'll be putting that out soon I hope you got more than five bucks.
Speaker 3:I got the family discount, yes, so it seems like you'll have a connection there yeah, for sure, and uh, and it's an honor to be able to get to teach um, I'm looking to to step it up by this fall, um and uh, it'd be fun. I'm looking forward to it.
Speaker 2:um, I understand this webinar will bring you, you know, to light a lot, a lot of folks like you and Victoria who are, you know, helping others, you know, selflessly. So I don't know what the other guests you know bring to the table, I don't know their platforms, their podcasts, but I know my wife's excited about a lot of them coming on. I'm excited about all of them, I know.
Speaker 1:Whitney, I know, Whitney, you know and I know she wife's excited about a lot of them coming on. I'm excited about all of them.
Speaker 2:I know Whitney, I know Whitney, you know and I know she does a podcast.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she does, but he's also not only going to do that, he wants to do a men's group as well, and it would be great, since I can't do the men's group, that you do the men's group with him.
Speaker 2:You can identify a man as a man.
Speaker 3:Well, this is men only. There are plenty of women's groups out there. There's this men's only group and it is just to talk about women. No stuff that troubles us. Yes, talk about women. No stuff that troubles us. Yes, talk about women.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's one of them. What Women? I mean women. You as a woman don't trouble me, that's not what. Yeah, okay, next subject.
Speaker 3:You're a smart man.
Speaker 2:So down in Florida we had a uh hunting club and it was no women allowed, right? Because when not that women don't go hunting, okay, y'all don't get me wrong. But when you go out there with other men, you, you feel more relaxed. You can scratch your butt and pick your nose and burp and fart.
Speaker 1:You do all that now.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, it's because you know we're married.
Speaker 3:But if you're in a group of strangers and there's a woman there, that's right.
Speaker 3:It's the same thing for women's groups. I've been to a lot of different recovery meetings, retreats in different groups, and one group was like oh man, that's perfect for me, but it's women only, and I don't understand why. And then it's like wait a second, you put your shoe on the other foot and you put yourself in their shoes and if there is a male present they're not going to open up. Um, as much it will. There will be an influence, there will be a safety issue there. And same thing for a men's group. I mean, we're guys, we're gonna, we're gonna talk. And yeah, the men's group talks about feelings too. I mean, we're going to talk about all kinds of stuff, but if a woman is present it would be not as open. So, looking forward to that.
Speaker 2:And that's on the 13th. No, that's the webinar. No, no, right the webinar.
Speaker 3:Webinar Right.
Speaker 1:He's talking about leading a men's group in the fall when he starts teaching.
Speaker 2:Back to the webinar.
Speaker 1:You can't be tired, you just woke up.
Speaker 2:I barely took a 10-minute nap for an hour. Yeah, that was the 10-minute nap.
Speaker 3:There you go.
Speaker 1:Seriously.
Speaker 3:Yes, you're funny. Well, I'm looking forward to the webinar and how many people we can reach with it and, uh, really push on the academy and see how many we have. I mean people can get in.
Speaker 1:Um, the more we get in there, the more experience and and it'll, it'll, it's going, it's going to grow, it's going to be big and I wish more people would really get to know jj, because he is so humble and genuine and sweet and authentic and he doesn't give himself stop, thank you. He doesn't give himself enough credit. That sock story gets me every time. You know, if when I embed him I was her, I was told you got to hear the sock story.
Speaker 1:I was like what and then I heard it and I was like, oh, I wasn't prepared. But the genuineness of this individual and how charismatic he is and how he he will bend over backwards for people he cares about it's so hard to find these days and for what he's doing, to create he made a beautiful pond in the back. It's everything, his property's gorgeous, number one. And for him to give back 75 percent back into the community, when he could be pocketing it himself and doing oh yeah but that is not who he is.
Speaker 1:That's not jj. That's not who jj is and I mean that's, there's a lot to be said for that. I mean there really is. He's just a standup.
Speaker 3:Well, I learned. I've learned that gratitude grows gratitude, love grows. Love. I mean, whatever you focus on, you get. So I mean, if you give, you get and I get to give more and more and more. It just grows. It's beautiful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like him. He's a good guy.
Speaker 3:Yes, he is Well thanks. I'll pay you all later Five dollars. What are you?
Speaker 1:most proud of for this Independence Day.
Speaker 2:That we still have independence.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:I mean, you know. So what JJ did was go overseas to fight the terrorism of yonder. I stayed here and did my little part, but we're trying to keep the terrorism and, you know, the communism out of this country as much as possible, right, you know?
Speaker 3:Yeah, and your little part. Not a little part, I mean we all. It takes a team.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:So you did your part. I mean we, we've all I appreciate. Thank you for your service, and especially 13 years as a police officer.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:That's, that's tough.
Speaker 2:Well, like I said, I've moved around a bit, but you know um it's. It's not for everybody, you know it's. I don't know if it's a, a calling or a special drive, you know to be, military or to be law enforcement.
Speaker 1:Or both.
Speaker 2:Most of my family were in law enforcement and some of them were military. I just kind of followed the footsteps.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:To me, jj. I encourage every high schooler get out of high school, go into the military. Absolutely Cut that umbilical cord from mom. I encourage every high schooler get out of high school, go into the military.
Speaker 3:Oh heck, yeah, okay, absolutely.
Speaker 2:Cut that umbilical cord from mom, you know.
Speaker 3:Get out there.
Speaker 2:Dad may be ready to get rid of you, but get out there. Learn how to get in debt, learn how to get out of debt. You know You've got a guaranteed job for at least four years. You're not going to get fired. You know you may get in a little trouble, a little disciplinary action being stupid, but get out there and learn and live and then go back to your college or double dip.
Speaker 3:So I advise everybody, especially kids that are looking to go to college. I mean, you spend a lot of money and go in very deep depth for four years of college. Okay, go in the air force, go in the army, whatever you do. Four years in the air force, let's say. During that time in the air force you go through training and you get college credits for that training.
Speaker 3:Also, you can go to night courses and take your college courses and get your associate's degree easy in the four years while you're in the military and it's all paid for 100%. All these classes are free, so you can get out after four years and have a two-year degree and you have your GI Bill that will pay 100% of your full-time college plus give you a housing allowance. So, spend the next two years going to school and then, after six years, you have four years of experience and a four-year education and it's all paid for, right? So when you go to get a job after your six years and you apply, you're going to be definitely way above the list. Yeah, then that that four year grad who has two years of experience at the lowest job that you that they got right out of college.
Speaker 1:Entry level position yeah, exactly yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, I'm right there with you, michael, and I'm encouraging to to go in the military and serve Good.
Speaker 2:And you know my wife's abuser he was military.
Speaker 1:So, she had. She had somewhat of a bad taste for the military because of that stigma, but not all members of the US Armed Forces are that way. But you know you were Air Force, I knew that, I was with you and he was Air Force and it's like not everybody is bad, it's just that group was bad right absolutely absolutely.
Speaker 3:I'm glad that you made it out, victoria thank you. Michael was your hero yes, yeah.
Speaker 2:I got Victoria, thank you, and Michael was your hero. Yes, yeah, I got a damn good daughter out of it deal.
Speaker 3:Yes, you did. What a wonderful wife.
Speaker 2:Did you hear him?
Speaker 1:Did you hear him?
Speaker 2:You know she's got me in the fad now we all got tattoos of something dealing with all three of us on our bodies. Now, yeah, anyway. So happy 4th of July brother.
Speaker 3:Yes, safe travels. Thank you very much.
Speaker 2:Safe travels. I did that that before I drove down from Washington State all the way down to Georgia and then to Florida, and that 3,000 mile journey is no fun yeah, for those listening, I'm getting ready to leave.
Speaker 3:Saturday morning I'm going with a friend and they're moving to arizona and I volunteered to help drive, so we got a 3 000 mile road trip coming up starting saturday and how long do you think it'll take you to get there? Oh, probably about four days. That's 41 hours. It's 41 hours of driving Between two of us. We'll take shifts and we'll make it less than four days.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 3:I mean we can probably make it in two, it depends. Once you get rolling, you just go gas, stop to gas, stop coffee to coffee. One sleeps and the other drives. Before you know it, two days later, you're there.
Speaker 1:Just be safe.
Speaker 3:Thank you, I will, of course.
Speaker 1:Just be safe. Oh yeah, All the best.
Speaker 2:And how can people get to your podcast?
Speaker 1:I was just going to say that.
Speaker 3:Oh, wonderful. Well, you can go to Spotify and just Google or search what's your Ripple. Or you can go to Spotify and just Google or search what's your ripple. Or you can go to my website, which is ripple-retreatcom and please don't forget about the dash, because a dash connects the retreat to the ripple and the ripple to the retreat so easily ripple-retreatcom. And on the website it has links to the website. It also has links to resources.
Speaker 3:It has links to my Wednesday night meeting and if you go through the website and you feel called to support the Ripple because Ripple Retreat has become a cause it's not just me anymore, it is a lot bigger than me and if you want to be part of something bigger than you, you can easily sign up to volunteer. You can go to what's called buy me a cup of love or buy a cup of love, because I took buy me a coffee and changed it to buy a cup of love and that money goes directly to me. Building this. I'm right now that I have a yoga studio that I'm attaching, I'm putting a bathroom to, I'm building a bathroom right next to it so I can have recovery meetings and then yoga and all these events in this space. I was missing a bathroom and it costs money, so I've been getting donations and those donations go directly to building this retreat and he's been doing the bathroom building himself like he's doing the work.
Speaker 1:He's not spending the money hiring it out. He's actually doing it, which you know. There's a lot to be said about that. And if you go to the academy website any of the courses in the valor circle and they are making their way into the recovery as a collection you will see um his website as well and how you can get a hold of him. All of his information will also be on the show notes, so you can see that there. But he is all in the academy. You can find him in there. He is a member in there. Everybody should support him.
Speaker 3:Thank you.
Speaker 2:Can't wait for your class to come through the website.
Speaker 1:The academy.
Speaker 3:I'm going to let JJ take us out because I love the way he closes off a podcast. I heard you do, I do. I'll give a little bit of backstory to it. My key to my sobriety is learning to love myself. Love myself enough to keep myself from doing bad things. Love myself enough to not drink to better my life. And my tagline for Ripple Retreat is to please pause. Take time just to pause, love yourself and be aware of your ripple.
Speaker 1:It's that simple, that's awesome.
Speaker 3:Wow, yeah, it's so powerful because I mean, if you are angry for example, road rage and you get to your destination or you get home from work and you've had a bad day at work, a bad day, um, driving home, and you get in the house and you're just before you walk in the house, just pause for a minute and love yourself for doing an amazing job at work and holding yourself together or feel the feelings or whatever, and then be aware of that energy that you have and that ripple you're going to make. Is it going to be a positive one, or is it going to be a negative one? So it's just a nice reminder, really simple Thank you so much.
Speaker 1:Thank you, brother your evening to do this?
Speaker 3:yes, thank you so much for having me on. It's been an honor and a joy. I love you guys. You're a lot of fun she's a fun one yeah and together think of the ripples we're making.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's pretty cool, that's right.
Speaker 1:So happy 4th to everybody.
Speaker 3:Yes, happy 4th.
Speaker 1:Thank you again for everybody who has served. You are not forgotten and we will not let you be forgotten.
Speaker 3:No, not at all. Thank you.
Speaker 2:Thank you for listening to Contagious Smile, Unstoppable with Victoria, Michael and JJ.
