How Caregivers Cope When A Loved One Won’t Admit An Addiction

Transcript

Warm Welcome And New Puppy Joy

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Sure. Howdy y'all. Welcome to another episode of Smiles Unstoppable. What was that? It was Lightbulb. With Victoria and Michael. Of course, our dog Stucco, me and his lazy self, sleeping on the floor down here in our little office.

SPEAKER_02 0:21

Resty somewhere nearby. And we will be getting a new puppy in six weeks and three days. Not that I'm counting.

SPEAKER_00 0:27

Thanks for our buddy Will.

SPEAKER_02 0:29

Not that I'm counting. Hey, I did so good not getting any puppy stuff until yesterday. I have been really good. Now I may have gotten some puppy blankets and I may have gotten some puppy food and a little puppy passy and treats and some toys and you know things like that. But like we just have to embrace the fact that we're having a puppy. We're having a puppy.

Book Launch And Website Updates

SPEAKER_00 0:54

I'm so excited. So it's gonna be another golden retriever.

SPEAKER_02 0:59

AKC. This one is white, and ours are red. So it's like my favorite roses of all time are the candy cane roses, which are red and white. So we have red and white golden retrievers. So it just follows suit.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

So yeah, new addition comes to this family.

SPEAKER_03 1:20

Yeah. This is true. Crickets.

SPEAKER_00 1:27

Yeah. Anything else?

SPEAKER_02 1:29

No, we have a lot going on. I don't know peppies. No. We have a new book being released this upcoming week, Healing After Narcissistic Abuse. A thousand of one questions to help you in your healing journey. And the few people that have seen it ahead of time cannot wait to actually get the physical book in their hands. It is really oh my god, I'm sorry. Stucco, did you cook dinner?

SPEAKER_00 1:56

Uh I did.

SPEAKER_02 1:57

Because Stucco is releasing toxicity in the body.

SPEAKER_00 2:00

Oh my gosh. Oh wow.

SPEAKER_02 2:06

Okay, you are banned from the office. No, that had to be your leftover cooking. Did you feed him some of your food?

SPEAKER_00 2:14

Did you feed him some of your food? I'll let you know after my taste buds come back because I have my mouth open.

SPEAKER_02 2:20

Because that's horrible. I hope you feel better, baby. Because that's raunchy. That is oh god, that's raunchy. Anyway, sorry about that.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

Unscripted unstoppable.

Alcohol Denial And Functioning While Impaired

SPEAKER_02 2:33

Right? So that book will be released this week, and that is super exciting. And then we just got the victoriacuree.com website up and going, and that is doing well. And so we are literally just like I guess servers call it in the weeds because there's so much going on. Some people have asked us about what's going on with the whole like addiction thing, if we could provide some further information, a little more information, because we've kind of been kind of cryptic about a lot of it. And because it does hit home with a lot of our listeners, and you know, they listen to us to help give them little nuggets of insight that can help them and what they have going on. My husband's yawning, y'all. I apologize. He's only been up since 3:30 this afternoon. You don't hear a detail.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

My wife has an extensive medical knowledge due to her past and our daughter's past. I do not. Okay. I could tell you I have an extensive knowledge about drinking. Okay. And I could tell you from my point of view that I did not have an addiction. Okay. Even though I went to work drinking. I worked drinking on the job.

SPEAKER_02 4:03

Drove drinking on the job.

SPEAKER_00 4:05

I mean, drove to work drinking. Locked out, grabbed the beer out of the cooler, drove to the first bar, like took one light down, had a beer at the bar, then drove home with another beer, you know, that they gave you to go.

SPEAKER_02 4:21

And then once you get home, you know This place gave you beers to go, because that's illegal.

SPEAKER_00 4:26

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 4:27

They're not allowed to let you leave.

SPEAKER_00 4:30

They're a fraternity.

SPEAKER_02 4:31

Yeah. I know someone got married in a bar.

SPEAKER_00 4:35

It was the same fraternity.

SPEAKER_02 4:37

That also had someone have a heart attack on the wedding day.

SPEAKER_00 4:40

The same fraternity.

SPEAKER_02 4:41

In the bar. Yeah. Anyway, once you get home, it's not home, it's a house.

SPEAKER_00 4:46

Once you get to the house, you Hacienda. You drank again. And that's what I did. Uh to drown out the noise.

SPEAKER_02 4:55

But people do want to know, you are not the addict we were referring to.

SPEAKER_00 4:59

Like I was I was not an addict. But we're not.

SPEAKER_02 5:03

Okay, but you're not the person that we're referencing.

SPEAKER_00 5:05

No.

SPEAKER_02 5:06

And it's definitely not Faith. And it's definitely not me because I don't even take a pain medication after surgery.

SPEAKER_00 5:11

I did not have a drinking problem. I looked you straight down and said, I did not have a drinking problem.

SPEAKER_02 5:17

So how do you think having someone in the family who does have an issue affects the rest of the family?

SPEAKER_00 5:25

It's stressful because now that I'm I'm not I stopped drinking, y'all. But we're not talking about you. Right. Now that I've stopped, it's stressful because I can see that, hey, I did have a problem. Okay. Right? But I wouldn't admit it then. Right? And this family member that we're discussing will not admit it. No. Okay. I think he's I think he or she's came forward only because of the pressure that we put on him.

SPEAKER_03 5:56

I would agree to that to an extent, but not.

SPEAKER_02 5:59

Right?

SPEAKER_00 6:00

Not a sincere, hey, I don't have a problem.

SPEAKER_02 6:02

Well, the doctors have also stated that there is a problem. And we have been trying to that opinion. Not just one, and we have like six.

SPEAKER_01 6:10

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 6:10

But we have been doing all that we can to help that individual get onto the road of recovery.

SPEAKER_00 6:21

And it's hard without their help.

Family Member’s Opioid Misuse And Denial

SPEAKER_02 6:23

Well, it's not only that, but the mood of trying to help someone who either doesn't want to admit it or doesn't accept it, it's hard to do. It's a it's a challenging scenario. It's a very challenging scenario when you only have the best interest, and that individual is in complete denial.

SPEAKER_00 6:49

So I had a cousin that had drug addiction, and they had to, they had to, you know, he got locked up several times because of it, and then he had to go into rehab multiple times. Okay, go in, come out, go in, come out.

SPEAKER_02 7:02

Was he in rehab or was he 1013?

SPEAKER_00 7:04

Rehab.

SPEAKER_02 7:05

Now, for our listeners who might not know, why don't you explain the difference?

SPEAKER_00 7:09

Okay, rehab is a place that you voluntarily go.

SPEAKER_02 7:13

No, you could also be ordered to go. You can't by the court. Court can order you to attain.

SPEAKER_00 7:18

A 1013 is a code reference to involuntary transport to a psychiatric or evaluation or psychiatric hospital or clinic to get evaluated and treatment.

Rehab vs 1013 And Crisis Protocols

SPEAKER_02 7:33

Well, I've worked with a lot of families advocating for special needs and domestic violence. And what normally happens is you arrive on scene and critical response more times than not respond. Law enforcement responds, and they're and they come in, and then the paramedics empty are staged until advised that it's safe to arrive inside. And then it is the opinion of the officers and of the paramedic and emts as to whether or not to go ahead and transport. And that takes the pressure off of the family for having to say, hey, we need this individual to be transported because they're it not in a good place at the moment. So that is the difference in those two individual situations. But what do you do when you have somebody that is just so in denial? And all you're trying to do is help. And it's not received because they don't want to admit it, but everyone in the medical profession, doctors, therapists, PAs, NPs, you know, anybody who has initials at the end of their name, all state that, you know, things need to get on the right road and get better. And people can truly function. Like you said, you drove to work functioning under the influence of alcohol, right? And so you were able to drive, even though that wasn't smart. You were able to do not condone it, y'all. You were able to function at your job, which was like hands-on job. It wasn't, you know, and you were able to perform your your duties of your employment. I'm so sorry. My wife's a little tired. Well, some of us didn't get up at 3:30 this afternoon. And so with that being said, you were able to function. Well, some people can take opioids and drive, even though they're absolutely not supposed to, you know, they're not supposed to at all, and still did until a caregiver gets in the picture and you know says this is not safe because it's not safe for you, and it's not safe for anyone out on the road as well. But they need more more and more opioids in order to uh obtain that high that they're so accustomed to wanting that they don't necessarily see themselves as an addict.

SPEAKER_00 10:22

So the question is how do you how do you show them how to how do you convince them that they are so that they can start getting the help they need?

SPEAKER_02 10:32

So what do you do?

SPEAKER_00 10:33

It's it it's tough. It's it's tough to convince them, right? It's it's tough to and and but y'all y'all know who we advocate for, so don't get offended when I say this, okay? Because I'll bring it right back to our our home. How do you explain to a blind person what the color blue is?

SPEAKER_02 10:54

Hey, you know, I can't have him like remember, I'm deaf. I'm 88% deaf in one ear and 100% deaf in the other. So when Michael says this, he says this as a metaphor. He is the very last person who will ever degrade or minimize somebody for anything. They're not challenges, it's just a different way to go through life. It's it's a it's not even, we call it medical obstacles, and it's not a disability, it's not impossible. You are able to do so much more. So this is a man who like when he sees anybody with anything going on, he like carries on the conversation and makes them laugh. So I just want to put that little exclaimer on there. Anyway, go ahead. Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 11:36

Okay, I I have no tech. We know. I just come out guns bleasing. But yeah, so it's it it's difficult to explain to that individual, hey, buddy, there's a history here. You've been on XX and X opioids, opioids. I can't say that.

SPEAKER_02 11:54

Only because it's a serious conversation if I'm not You've been on these drugs for this many years.

SPEAKER_00 11:59

You've done build up a tolerance, you're popping three at a time. Or more. Or more. And that's of just one. And there's there's an addiction here. There's a problem. You're crying for these pain meds, you're you're you're asking for them, you're hooting and hollering, you know, mosing around, moping around when you don't get them. And drug seeking is what it pops up. How do we how do we convince you that there's the issue? The doctors have told you stop taking them. They're not helping, you don't need them anymore, you're addicted.

SPEAKER_02 12:27

What about when you go and reach and take other people's medications? Okay.

Convincing A Functioning Addict To Seek Help

SPEAKER_00 12:31

Now you that that should immediately warn you as an individual.

SPEAKER_02 12:36

But when that individual says, Well, they were there, I figured I could just take them. I mean, that's the answer. It is, and that's not true. That's absolutely not true.

SPEAKER_00 12:48

No.

SPEAKER_02 12:50

But when the caregivers have nothing but the purest intentions on trying to help, it makes it 10 times harder because you're you're battling this demon to try to make somebody better, but you're really like having to deal with that person because that person, if they don't want to be helped, there's not much you can do. And it's not they don't want to be helped by you, they don't want to be helped by Joey Bag of Donuts, they don't want to be helped by you know Susie Q. They don't want to be helped. You know, they see themselves as being able to function every day like they have for the last however long. What is my husband doing? Seriously?

SPEAKER_00 13:35

Yes, you have a little callus on your big toe.

SPEAKER_02 13:37

Thank you for telling the world.

SPEAKER_00 13:40

You're welcome.

SPEAKER_02 13:41

I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_00 13:44

So what do you do? You have a loved one that has an addiction. You can't convince them they're in your home with you, they're safe, they're secured, they're being pampered, they're being taken care of. What do you do? Well, I chose I will choose. You've already put the cat out. I will choose to take them out of that environment. You already let the cat out. No, I haven't.

SPEAKER_02 14:13

Yeah, you have. You you have, because anybody who's listens knows just from what you just spit out of your mind.

SPEAKER_00 14:24

Other other people people know now. I'm not you know you just opened the next one.

SPEAKER_02 14:30

No, yes, nope. It's a good thing it's a double hitter then tonight because you already just let that cat out. You did. I mean, you know not yet.

SPEAKER_00 14:40

You did no, so that's what I would choose.

SPEAKER_02 14:45

You can't back this up. There's no way. There's no way. So, what do you mean by take them out?

SPEAKER_00 14:54

You take them out of their safe environment. And do what with them? You put them in an uncomfortable environment where they have to admit, hey, I'm not no longer getting pampered like I was, no one's catering to my whims.

SPEAKER_02 15:09

And what if they don't admit to this?

SPEAKER_00 15:12

It's gonna be uh a hard awakening.

SPEAKER_02 15:15

And what if they don't admit to this? What if they show absolutely no emotion and are incapable of admitting?

SPEAKER_00 15:21

Well, I figured uh at least a week out.

SPEAKER_02 15:26

You think a week would constitute a redirection for something that's been fired from start detoxing before you start having it depends really on the individual. Okay, you can't say textbook clarifies detoxes.

SPEAKER_00 15:42

If if I've done these drugs for I don't know, 15 something years, and I didn't have them in my system after day three, I'm going berserk.

SPEAKER_02 15:54

Well, not if you know how to be a functioning addict. I mean, yeah, you get short-tempered, snarky, snappy.

Triangulation And Narcissism In Families

SPEAKER_00 16:03

You got the sweats, the chills, you got the shaking.

SPEAKER_02 16:06

You want to sleep a lot, you have, you know, you want the darkness, you want the dark room, you want, but you know, another thing we really need to talk about is the triangulation. So why don't you kind of explain what triangulation is? No, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 16:20

No, let's this is your department.

SPEAKER_02 16:22

No, triangulation is where the let's take, for instance, in the scenario, the addict tries to literally pull one person in the family to their side and try to deflect onto others so that technically the heat comes off of that person and they try to cause turmoil within the family or the home to try to take the light off of them and what they're going through. And that's a challenge. That's very challenging when you know all you have is the best intentions of trying to to help somebody, and they literally, if it's not about them, then to hell with them. And unfortunately, you and I both have a lot of people who have that mentality that if it's not about them to hell with them on both sides. I mean, I I'd say we're pretty close to equal partner, I mean, equal numbers on both sides of the family that just, you know, are the epitome of narcissistic assholes. I mean, you you gotta call it what it is, right? I mean, I didn't say it. You gotta call he has this phrase he cannot stand, and he just looked at me like, oh, you gotta say it. But it, I mean, it is. It's literally the fact that there are narcissistic ass assholes that are so self-centered and self-involved. And if it's not about them, to hell with anyone else. I mean, we could do examples all day long, you know, on both sides of the family. And it's it's mind-blowing. I really think I was born in a generation that is like from way back early 1900s. Because I mean, I seriously I can't wrap comprehend and wrap around a lot of crap that's done in this time frame. I I just can't. I I don't understand it. I don't see how some people do what they do. I just don't. He's just bitten. Like, you have to look at his face. He's just like, you have to see my husband's face to understand. Well, what is this? What is this?

SPEAKER_00 18:27

I just think you're a good-looking woman.

SPEAKER_02 18:29

Whatever. My husband's still in his pajamas, he's wearing his slippers.

SPEAKER_00 18:32

It's okay, 8:30 at night. They forecasted nine feet of snow. Not here. Well, and ice covered in roads.

SPEAKER_02 18:42

You said three inches of ice, not nine feet. See how men measure shit the wrong way? I mean, come on now. Really? And you ain't been outside anyway to matter. And it's not like your pajamas are flannel footsies or onesies or whatever, you're in shorts and a t-shirt.

SPEAKER_00 18:58

Man in a onesie the other night.

SPEAKER_02 19:00

We have children that are grown adults, not faith.

SPEAKER_00 19:03

They're not grown adult. Well, if you're wearing a onesie.

SPEAKER_02 19:06

No, you know, your other two that I consider mine as well, have participated even currently, recently, in full onesie outfits.

SPEAKER_00 19:19

No, but I plan for the day. Left side stay at the home in my pajamas.

SPEAKER_02 19:25

You do that a lot though.

SPEAKER_00 19:27

That's because I got fired.

SPEAKER_02 19:28

Because you were taking care of somebody who we've already said who, so I mean, you know.

SPEAKER_00 19:33

Because I was taking care of someone.

SPEAKER_01 19:35

Right. So we talking about you slipping out.

SPEAKER_00 20:00

I hope y'all are doing good out there. Seen a lot of um news about the weather and showed our daughter some snow. It was literally over the tops of cars.

Caregiving Stress, Boundaries, And Burnout

SPEAKER_02 20:09

So let me ask you, how do you, you know, one of the things, especially like let's go, for instance, in the NICU. When parents have a newborn that's in the NICU, the divorce rate just is astronomical. It's crazy. Well, when people are caregiving for someone in the family and things are going on, it causes a lot of tension in the family. How do you or how will you make sure that that doesn't happen?

SPEAKER_00 20:40

Are you asking me?

SPEAKER_02 20:42

I am.

SPEAKER_00 20:42

I thought you were asking the audience.

SPEAKER_02 20:44

I'm asking you. They can't answer me right now verbally. You can.

SPEAKER_00 20:50

How do I? Well, I'm gonna be right there by my child, by my significant other. If if they're in the NICU, I'm right there with them.

unknown 21:00

You know.

SPEAKER_02 21:01

Okay, what about caregiving for someone an adult?

SPEAKER_00 21:08

Caregiving for an adult. Yes, that that is stressful. Okay. There's a lot going on, a lot of dynamics you don't know that are there until you're in that position. Okay. My wife and I have recently took on my father-in-law inside the home. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, hold on. I mean, I mean your father-in-law, my dad.

SPEAKER_02 21:35

Wow. I I just don't even have. Yeah, I always do. But like, seriously? That like wow, I'm glad that's recorded. Because you know that you would not want that man in this house. I I'd take care of him. You would bring him in.

SPEAKER_00 21:53

I I'd take care of him.

SPEAKER_02 21:55

That's all I gotta say. Whatever. Absolutely not. I know you wouldn't. Whatever. And you wouldn't let him talk to me in manners that have happened and transpired.

SPEAKER_00 22:07

No, and that's why I said it's stressful because you don't know what what's gonna happen until you're there. My wife and I try to come up with scenarios about this move in prior to the move in. Mm-hmm. And how'd that turn out? I don't think we were fully prepared. Why? Because it hasn't worked out. Why? The way we thunk it. Why? Is that all you can say is why?

SPEAKER_01 22:31

Why? I have ice cream for you after we're done. That makes you feel better.

SPEAKER_00 22:38

What what is that, like a treat?

SPEAKER_02 22:39

Yeah, you can have a treat.

SPEAKER_00 22:40

You do a podcast, you get a treat.

SPEAKER_02 22:41

Well, you're only like five days late in doing this one, so why hasn't it turned out like we thought?

SPEAKER_00 22:52

It's it's been more than we well thought.

SPEAKER_02 22:56

That is such a cover-up.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

It has been more than we thought. We didn't think that there was gonna be this much to it.

SPEAKER_02 23:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 23:04

Is that is that that's correct?

SPEAKER_02 23:05

Yes, but I'm prepared because I have been someone who's been caregiving most of my life.

SPEAKER_00 23:12

There's other other aspects. Okay. When you're caregiving for someone, you also have their property to take care of, their bills to take care of, okay. Insurance paperwork to get done if they're able or not able to do it themselves. So my wife has taken on a lot, like everything. Caring for this man.

SPEAKER_02 23:39

Like scheduling appointments.

SPEAKER_00 23:41

It's just not reciprocated.

SPEAKER_02 23:43

Well, it's not I mean, I've heard thank you one time. But that was very facetiously stated. Yeah. But like literally every appointment, even when they were booked out for six months, he was seen within a week. I mean, we've been from neprology to podiatry and everywhere in between. Literally.

SPEAKER_00 24:01

That's head to foot.

SPEAKER_02 24:02

Right. And best of the best doctors were people, even other doctors are like, we couldn't get you in in a week or two. I don't know how you pulled that off. But it it was because we only had the absolute purest intentions on helping him to get as healthy as he possibly can.

SPEAKER_00 24:26

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 24:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:28

And we're still we're still trying to get that same help. Just on a different avenue right now.

SPEAKER_02 24:39

But how do you go about it with only the purest of intentions when it's such a challenge? That's the problem. That's the question so many caregivers don't have an answer to.

SPEAKER_00 24:56

You just want to give up.

SPEAKER_02 24:59

Well, some people some people won't give up, some people will. Some people will be like, this isn't my my responsibility.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:10

So how do you manage? How do you cope? That's the unanswered question.

NICU Lessons: Systems, Notes, And Worst-Case Plans

SPEAKER_00 25:20

Do like we do, we keep uh doing scenarios and what ifs, and this is what I think, what do you think? And you know, we got our daughter involved. What do you think? You know, what would you do after? What would you do before? Let's go through these scenarios. What if this happens? What if this transpires? Okay, where do we go from here? Immediate, long, long term. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:47

I'm also one of these diligent people who I'm meticulous about everything. And if see some people think it's such a gift, and it really isn't. I write everything down at the end of the day. What transpired and what happened. So it's easy to reference and return back to for multiple reasons later down the line for reflection as well. And it does make a difference. It also helps because it is so stressful and tedious to like deal with the everyday, making sure that medication is administered at the exact time it's supposed to. All the pills are given when they're supposed to, that you know, you're eating and you're drinking your water and you're, you know, not getting atrophy, and you're making your appointments, and you're attending your appointments, and you're attending procedures and everything in between as well. And you write everything down, and it's almost like you're withdrawing it from yourself and putting it on paper. It's and when you look down and you're like, okay, I did this today, today's done. It's it's a sense of accomplishment in one way, and it kind of lets you know that you made it through that day, and that's really important.

SPEAKER_00 26:54

Where did you learn that from myself?

SPEAKER_02 26:56

I started doing all that with Faith when she was in there because when you have a child in the NIC, you they make you room in and they make you handle all of the care prior to, and they train you on absolutely everything. So I'm this person that is like, okay, I want you to train me and then train me for worst-case scenarios. So let's say because she had a tracheostomy, let's say the suction machine didn't work, what do we do? What if the equipment failed? And they're like, What? I'm like, what if the equipment failed? What if the suction machine stopped suctioning? I only have one. What do I do? What if there's an occlusion in the trach? What do we do? What if, you know, there's a million different scenarios. You know, what if her G tube came out? What if her GJ tube came out and that can't be put back in? You know, what do we do with the stoma? You know, all these different scenarios. What if she's having an epileptic grandma seizure at the time? She's notorious for putting her chin over her stoma, you know, her tracheostomy. What do you do? You know, at that time she also had mandibular distractions because if Faith's gonna do it, she's gonna do it all the way. So she had mandibular distractions, which are metal rods that are in the jawline of the face, and behind each ear was a metal rod that you had to take this device twice a day. And as her mother, it was ungodly painful to do to do that to her. And you crank these things in order to extend out the lower jaw so that she can have room to breathe in the airway. And so you have to know all these worst-case scenarios. Like, what if it doesn't turn? What if the, you know, it stops turning? Well, then it hits some kind of roadblock, if you will, and you have to uncrank it. But you know, you talk to cranial facial and they walk you through how to do it. And so I wanted to know the ins and outs of all scenarios. So I learned how to take care of the equipment, how to, you know, what to do if the equipment isn't operational, how to, you know, do an emergent trait change, you know, if she's coded, if she's all the different scenarios. And so I wrote everything down at the end of the day, like meticulously, everything down. And I reflected back to it a lot because if let's say a month or so down the road, and I would put tabs on it, like, and like a red tab was was let's say feeding. Blue was breathing, because code blue, right? So I remember it that way. And so I would go back to that book and I would look at the tabs on the top and I'd say, oh, something about feeding. So I'd go to the red, I'd flip it open and look at all the reds and say, Oh, okay, maybe that can help me get through whatever problem this is, because there were solutions in that book. Like had problems getting the tube in. Obviously, I got the tube back in. How did I do it? I may have used, you know, that KY jelly that they give you with it. And, you know, the gastroenterologists, they put the tubes back in, they put the feeding tubes back in. I was trained how to do it myself. So it comes with a little like trial packet of KY for you to stick the actual button in, right? Before you enlarge it to make sure there's no holes and that the air doesn't come through it with a syringe. You you fill the syringe with water and then you inflate the balloon to make sure. So I would go back and say, okay, what could I have done different that worked before? And so these are why I started taking really meticulous notes and learning how to do her caregiving. And then, because I'm anal on a lot of things and I openly admit it, I made a cheat book where I did it in sections, like there was a red section and a blue section, and blah, blah, blah. And then I would put in columns like unable to get tube in, and right beside it, I listed all of the solutions that worked to do it, or unable to, you know, get the connector in, and I listed all the solutions that would connect to it the correct way. And then I had a little cheat book, and it saved a lot of time, a lot of frustration, and a lot of like panicking because you knew you had some sort of solution that worked at some point in time.

SPEAKER_00 30:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 30:58

And now look at her now. My little rock star.

SPEAKER_00 31:02

Yeah, yeah, she's a rock star, all right.

SPEAKER_02 31:05

She's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 31:07

She is.

SPEAKER_02 31:08

I do say so myself. And I do because she's a weak. She's a smart ass. I love it. Because I'll say to her, Who's are you right now? And she's like, Am I being good or am I being bad? And I'm like, I think you're being hilarious. And she's like, Well, if I'm acting great, I'm yours. If I'm a smart ass, I'm dead. I think it's great.

SPEAKER_00 31:31

So right now I'm trying to scratch my back, and I'm reminded of why my dang back itches so much. Oh, this is fantastic. Because her and her cousin put waxing strips on my back.

SPEAKER_02 31:48

No, they didn't just do it, they left you a good like six inches in between the the strips, and they did them like east to west, not north to south. So across on the back of your shoulder blades. And when they yanked them, they made you look like you had angel wings. Great.

SPEAKER_00 32:06

Yeah, so I'm still it's and that's been weeks.

SPEAKER_02 32:09

Now you know what women feel like when they get waxed.

SPEAKER_00 32:12

No, I don't want to know. Oh well, only one will know what one woman.

SPEAKER_02 32:15

I don't wax. I I would rather groom myself because no. First of all, I'm allergic to the adhesive in the wax. Second of all, no. Every time I've ever thought about it, I always think of that 40-year virgin. Golly Glorks that and he pulls off that wax strip.

SPEAKER_00 32:32

Oh, Steve Burrell.

SPEAKER_02 32:33

Yes, and like, you know, he's as hairy as you.

SPEAKER_00 32:36

He's hairy.

SPEAKER_02 32:37

He's like you. You're like a carpet.

SPEAKER_00 32:39

That's the way my back is.

Light Moments, Family Banter, And Close

SPEAKER_02 32:41

Yes. But what was hilarious, I do have to give your dad one thing of props. I your dad has no hair on his back. So I've seen him in hospital gowns and stuff, right? And I asked him, I was like, why? And I'm sure she's listening. I'm sure she's listening. I I asked him, I said, why is it your son has hair on his back and you don't? And he, without missing a beat, said, Oh, he gets it from his mom because she was always laid out on her back on a carpet. I was like, wow, that's nice to say. And he's like, wasn't with me, it was with anyone with a male appendage. I mean, wow, like no bitterness on that end. You know, that's a that's kind of uh wow. I mean, you know, that was great. And then Faith goes, Well, how do you describe your ex in one word? And he was like, Can it be hyphenated? And those wondering, he's he he called her white trash tramp. White trash tramp. Yes, I think something like that. And then yeah, so that was kind of fun to let you hear that. But to know that you got your back hair from her being on her back on the carpet with everyone other than your dad was that was a hoot.

SPEAKER_00 33:59

I bet somebody was hooting.

SPEAKER_01 34:06

You know she's listening. Probably. Oh, you know she is. You know she is.

SPEAKER_00 34:21

Alright, so this will be a short one.

SPEAKER_03 34:23

Yeah, because we have another one to do.

SPEAKER_00 34:26

I can make it.

SPEAKER_03 34:27

You've only been up four hours.

SPEAKER_00 34:29

I need a nap.

SPEAKER_03 34:31

I'm gonna call Faith. You've only been up for four hours.

SPEAKER_00 34:35

I took a nap earlier. No. It's Sunday.

SPEAKER_03 34:38

No.

SPEAKER_00 34:38

We deserve naps on Sunday.

SPEAKER_03 34:40

You sleep every damn day of the week.

SPEAKER_02 34:43

And you're not, you don't have like narcolepsy or whatever. So I have a medical condition. You're so full of shit, it's unreal. Seriously.

SPEAKER_00 34:52

Probably have to go take another one.

SPEAKER_02 34:54

That's way too much information. And that's probably why Stucco. That's probably why Stucco released the toxicity in the air.

SPEAKER_00 35:02

Probably. He probably laid one out on the floor. That's nice. Thanks, Stucco, buddy.

SPEAKER_02 35:07

That's my boy. Don't you say anything negative about him? Fat bastard. Do you? Oh no, sir. Stucco's perfect. Did I say something right? Stucco, come here, my love. That is, he is absolutely beautiful and perfect.

SPEAKER_00 35:19

You gotta stop feeding him so many damn treats. Well, what's your excuse? I like my treats.

SPEAKER_02 35:23

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 35:24

Hey, Rusty. See, there's backup for me.

SPEAKER_02 35:27

Uh uh, Rusty's on my side.

SPEAKER_00 35:29

Uh, actually, he is.

SPEAKER_02 35:30

I know. That's my baby boy. He's such a good boy.

SPEAKER_00 35:34

But the new dog will be mine.

SPEAKER_02 35:35

Don't you say mine? Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 35:38

She'll go everywhere with me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:40

I train these two, and everybody talks about how well these two are trained. You did not train these two. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 35:48

She'll sleep on my side of the bed.

SPEAKER_02 35:50

Yeah, right. Yeah, right. We all know better.

SPEAKER_00 35:53

She'll snuggle me.

SPEAKER_02 35:55

Uh-huh. She'll crap on you.

SPEAKER_00 35:57

I just have to give her a good name.

SPEAKER_02 35:59

We've already decided all this.

SPEAKER_00 36:01

I think I'll call her Robin.

SPEAKER_02 36:03

No. Hey, what about calling her Tucker?

SPEAKER_00 36:05

How about Misty?

SPEAKER_02 36:06

How about Tucker?

SPEAKER_00 36:08

Tucker?

SPEAKER_02 36:09

Think about the underlying reasons for that.

SPEAKER_00 36:11

The underlying reasons. Tucker.

SPEAKER_02 36:17

You really have to meet her and see her personality, to be fair. But think about Tucker.

SPEAKER_01 36:22

That's where it all started.

SPEAKER_00 36:26

Where what all started, love? Us. Where we started? Yeah. Well, really? Situation and circumstance brought us together long before that.

SPEAKER_03 36:42

We're talking geographics.

SPEAKER_00 36:44

Right.

unknown 36:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 36:46

Geographics. Think about all the law enforcement that brought you over to where I was at. Okay, so what's wrong with the name? Nothing's wrong with the name.

SPEAKER_01 37:00

No, thank you. Yeah, no, thanks. You're gonna call her Misty short for misdemeanor?

SPEAKER_00 37:13

No, how about uh Kimber. No. One of my favorite guns. No. No. You can shorten it to Kim.

SPEAKER_02 37:25

We are not naming that dog after my you know what? I'm moving because Kim is gonna come down here from heaven in a minute and pop you in your nose. No, she would absolutely no, no, I'm sorry, Kim. No, absolutely not.

SPEAKER_00 37:40

Thanks for honoring me with a dog name.

SPEAKER_02 37:43

Stucco. Good boy, Rusty! Rusty said no. Good boy. I love when Rusty talks. It's so sweet. He goes, I know. Good boy. You want to play? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 38:03

That's all for me.

SPEAKER_02 38:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:05

What else you got? Love.

SPEAKER_02 38:06

We got another one to do there, sweet cheeks. Maybe we'll see if Faith will be in on this one.

SPEAKER_00 38:11

Yay.

SPEAKER_02 38:13

You need a Coke.

SPEAKER_00 38:15

Good night, y'all.

SPEAKER_02 38:16

You need to go get a Coke.

SPEAKER_00 38:18

I hope y'all got something out of this. Thanks for listening to Contagious Smile podcast.