Inside Our Fight Against Abuse, Cover-Ups, And Silence

What if a simple “I love you” could steady someone on their hardest day? We open our hearts and our home to talk about building safety from the ground up—personally funding 480 academy scholarships, writing a child’s-eye-view book for noisy and unsafe homes, and speaking plainly about the harm that thrives when institutions deny, delay, or deflect accountability. The conversation moves from raw statistics to real stories, then lands on the everyday work of repair: quiet rituals, clear boundaries, and love spoken out loud.

We take you inside the new Stucco Squad book, When Home Is Too Loud, where Tyler learns he’s not to blame and practices safe, concrete choices. It’s trauma-aware, shame-free, and designed for kids to read with caregivers—complete with activities and coloring pages that help slow down, name feelings, and plan ahead. The numbers behind domestic abuse are staggering, and we unpack why reported cases understate reality and how culture and power can frustrate the path to justice. We support good officers and service members; we refuse silence around cover-ups and coercion. That balance matters.

Between the heavy pages, we protect space for joy: old-school gestures like opening doors and handwritten notes, putting phones away at dinner, and raising a daughter to be confident without being conceited. Our dogs show up as healers, too—sensing spasms before they hit, anchoring the room with quiet presence. We talk country dreams, a drama-free home, and the grace of telling people you love them now, not later. If you care about survivor support, children’s mental health, domestic violence awareness, and practical family resilience, this conversation is for you.

If our work resonates, help us keep going—share the episode, sponsor a scholarship, or leave a review so others can find it. Subscribe for more unfiltered conversations that trade shame for clarity and fear for action.

Transcript

Opening Banter And Housekeeping

SPEAKER_04 0:01

Howdy y'all. Welcome to another episode of Unstoppable here at a Cottage Smile. I'm here with my lovely wife Victoria Cure and no dolls for for a change.

SPEAKER_01 0:17

It's only temporary.

SPEAKER_04 0:19

So my wife has been diligently working away working her little arm off. Creating more books. More academy stuff. And just make sure our website stays up and running. So I'm kind of droll right now, aren't I?

SPEAKER_01 0:42

I don't know why you slept all day.

SPEAKER_04 0:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:44

All day.

SPEAKER_04 0:46

Thanks for putting that out there.

Funding 480 Scholarships And Support

SPEAKER_01 0:48

All day. No, I actually have been working on a lot of different stuff. We have given out 480 scholarships on the Academy.

SPEAKER_03 1:04

Wow.

Writing “When Home Is Too Loud”

SPEAKER_01 1:06

And so for people who don't know, we funded this ourselves. We don't have any sponsors yet, but we're looking. And this has all been out of our own pocket. And it's been incredibly hard, really, really challenging and hard to do this. And with the cost of, you know, and I've talked to so many people who pay tens of thousands to 5,000. You know, the variance is way up there for what they pay a month, depending on who they are. We're paying all of it ourselves. And we've got the cost much lower, but we're still covering it. And it's expensive. And so I actually put out there after I redesigned our Buy Me a Coffee site a link and like a little description about what we're doing and how it feels so good to help someone else. So why not help somebody else rise? Right? The only reason you should ever be over someone is if you're helping them up. And so I put that out there and see if we can get some help to because we don't want to stop doing what we're doing. We absolutely don't, but we can't. There's no money trees in our backyard. That's for dog on chore. So that is what I've been doing. And then I'm working on our stucco squad series, which is awesome. And this one's really hard. Today I started working on series book three, the stucco squad, and it's called When Home is Too Loud. And it's really hard for me.

SPEAKER_04 2:41

Sounds interesting.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

Well, it's hard for me because it's all about like I put a little boy in this one with Stucco, and his name is Tyler. And Tyler is going through scenarios that we don't want any children to go through. And these books are so great because you could sit down with your children, no matter the situation, and the book is written at their level and with their understanding. And at their it's really done at literally their eye level, like where it'll say, I can't sleep, and my tummy hurts because daddy's yelling at mommy in the next room. And I have my hands over my ears and stucco's holding me. What can I do? And then it gives you four different options of things that you can do, but it reminds you that you're not bad and you didn't do anything wrong. And that because they're arguing doesn't mean you're a bad kid. And it really does help with the kids, not only learning that they're not at fault, that they're not the reason that they're arguing, but it also helps remind them what to do in case of. Because there's all different scenarios in there that helps if something like this happens, what can you do? How do you prepare for it ahead of time? So that's you know, a much needed book, but it's hard because to think about a child that young going and having to experience that's really hard.

SPEAKER_04 4:11

And you're working on some ebooks.

SPEAKER_01 4:14

These will also be ebooks. Okay, these will be paperbag and e-books, and they have coloring pages in them so they can color. There's some, you know, activity pages in there too. It's just, you know, I don't want these kids having to feel as if it's their fault.

SPEAKER_04 4:32

Excuse me.

Alarming Domestic Violence Statistics

SPEAKER_01 4:33

So, and that's really important. And you know, the numbers are staggering because I've been looking at just the latest statistics. And do you know that statistically for 2026 that 20 people every minute, every 60 seconds are being abused by an intimate partner in this country? 20 people a minute. There's 60 minutes in an hour. There's 24 hours in a day. I mean, that's incredible. The one that really shocked me was that Kentucky has the highest rated percentage at 45.3 percent for their state.

SPEAKER_04 5:23

That's reported.

SPEAKER_01 5:25

Reported. And Alaska has 43.3. And what really got me is that there was not a single state that reported a domestic violence rate lower than 29.7 percent.

SPEAKER_04 5:44

Yeah, thing about that is it's it's those are the reported ones.

SPEAKER_01 5:48

That's more than one in four, right? And this is civilian sector, right? So that just it's it's crazy.

SPEAKER_04 5:58

Yeah, and I have some high-ranking general saying, oh, there's no domestic violence in the military.

The Case Of LaVena Johnson

SPEAKER_01 6:04

I'm glad you mentioned that because let me tell you, I was trying so hard to remember this beautiful woman's name. Her name was, I'm so sorry, I hope I say this right, Lavenna Lynn Johnson. I heard the story, and it absolutely just there's no words. For anybody who doesn't know the story, she is was the daughter of John Johnson, who was also a service veteran, and Linda Johnson, and grew up in Miss in Missouri. And this is public knowledge. The story is very public. And what happened was is that this beautiful, tiny, itty-bitty little petite girl, I mean, super little petite girl, she enlisted in the army after graduating high school, and she was deployed to Iraq and stationed out there. She'd been there only eight weeks before her death. Now, they officially ruled her death as a suicide by the Department of Defense. You obviously haven't heard the story.

SPEAKER_04 7:03

Go ahead. I see where this is going.

Corruption, Cover-Ups, And Accountability

SPEAKER_01 7:05

But this just, you know, and and like I said, we completely support our military, we support our law enforcement. I went through domestic violence in the military due to an NDA, I can't disclose much as into the branch or anything like that. But this is public. So her death was ruled suicide by Department of Defense. Now, here's the kicker. The father, no way, didn't believe it, absolutely said this is not possible. I spoke with her really like right before this incident transpired, supposedly, and demanded to see her body. And they didn't want her to, they didn't want the family to see it. They they absolutely pitched a fit not to. And so he opened his own investigation about everything. And it, the autopsy that he demanded, he got reported, and the and the photographs actually showed that this beauty, I mean, she was tiny. We're talking like Halle Berry tiny, gorgeous, gorgeous young girl taken too soon. She had a broken nose, a black eye, loose teeth. She had burns from corrosive chemicals on her genitalia. She had a gunshot wound to her mouth, to her mouth, that seemed inconsistent with suicide. There were chemical burns on other parts of her, and they had attempted to destroy DNA that came after a rape kit was done. They attempted to destroy it. There were bloody footprints discovered outside of her living for living quarters. This is mind-blowing to me because I'm so glad that this dad decided that he was not just gonna take their word. He knew his child and said, I have to be her voice, right? I have to speak up for her. And that's exactly what he did. I would love to speak to this gentleman and his wife. I think their story needs to be told. I don't ever want us to forget this beautiful girl because what they're trying to do is cover up what they did. The military, it's covered up, which is an exact example of Shielded, the book that's coming out here in the next couple of weeks, all about the coercion and military and law enforcement cover-up. And again, we completely support, but we don't support the corruption and the cover-ups. So Lavenna, I hope I'm so sorry if I say her name wrong, it was so upsetting because she didn't get the justice that she absolutely deserved. And her parents fought tooth and nail, military tried to cover it up. They went all the way to the Department of Defense, and everybody kept saying, No, this is a suicide, this is suicide. You don't have a suicide like this, you just don't. They said that she ate her duty weapon, and this is a big weapon, and she's a tiny, tiny little girl. Not little, I mean, you little girl, she's a woman, she was a woman, but she was happy. There was nothing that would have made her do this, but to cover up the fact that that her entire platoon was at fault for this, as well as some high-ranking people. My understanding from what I also heard about this is that when they were done with her, bless her living heart, she cried and crawled to try to go to medic to the medic tent. And people saw her, she was unclothed, and they got her again. And so it was higher-ranking people, and so this is the cover-up. And my biggest condolences to the family, my heart goes out to this family and all the families that have gone through something like this. And I have so much respect for this family because they refused to back down and say, I will take you for your word, it was a suicide. And they knew better. I mean, they the parents knew and they fought for her and they were her voice. And that's what we're trying to do is be people's voices. And this isn't the first story like this. If you look up anywhere in military, law enforcement, I mean, they're consistent. I mean, they are all over the place out there stories about this specific thing happening and it being covered up and stated it was, you know, training exercise. It was a training exercise, or it was a suicide, or you know, her car lost control. There's all these different things instead of the pricks that do it taking accountability for their actions, right? And I wish I could find the lady that I had read about where her son came home from Iraq and she met him and his wife and kids at their home. He had just got back from deployment, and the very first thing she said to her daughter-in-law is that's not my son. That is not my son. My son is not this creature that has come home. I wish I'd kept this article. And come to find out after dinner, her son just started assaulting his wife in front of the kids, in front of his mom. She told him to go back overseas. And she said, I hope you come home in a body bag. And that's what she told her only son. And she said, Because my son, who I gave birth to and raised, has already died overseas. He's already died in combat. But you are not coming home and walking into your home and beating my daughter-in-law, who is the mother of my grandchildren, and do and hurting my grandkids. My son has already died. I mean, what an incredibly powerful statement. And she got such ridicule over it, but he almost killed his wife, and it was in front of his kids. That's not something you can help these kids. I mean, yes, you can help these kids, but you can never erase that memory from these kids. It's just horrific.

SPEAKER_04 13:19

So, do you remember the movie Basic? Absolutely. Samuel Jackson, that was a good one.

SPEAKER_01 13:26

Samuel Jackson wasn't in Basic. Oh no, I'm thinking of the general's daughter. Sorry. Which John Travolta was in that too. Which was also It's a true story. It's a true story.

SPEAKER_04 13:37

So it it happens, you know.

SPEAKER_01 13:40

More than anybody knows.

Love, Loss, And Telling People You Care

SPEAKER_04 13:41

I just pick it on the military. I myself was Air Force and I was 13 and a half years law enforcement. I personally seen the cover-up, guys, where my my superior officer told me how the report was going to be written. And to keep him out of it. Yes. Yes. And what do you do as underling, as a rookie officer, or you know, you do what you're told, you follow orders.

SPEAKER_01 14:10

Or it just goes up the chain, and the more you go up the chain, the the tighter the noose gets on us.

SPEAKER_04 14:16

So it does happen, unfortunately. And like my wife said, we do support the military and law enforcement.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

So just not the cover-ups.

SPEAKER_04 14:25

Right.

SPEAKER_01 14:26

I mean, it's horrific. It's it's sad to know that again, this beautiful woman. I I wish I could find a picture of her. She's absolutely breathtaking. I mean, she's gorgeous. And she went in to serve our country. She went in to be one of the good ones. And her life was taken so fast, and and not, you know, she had agreed that she would die for our country. She agreed to serve and protect our country.

SPEAKER_02 14:52

But not this banner.

SPEAKER_01 14:53

And she didn't sign up for this. I mean, she didn't.

unknown 14:56

No.

SPEAKER_01 14:57

And neither do the spouses. The spouses don't, the children don't. They don't sign, they sign up to be a soldier's wife. They sign up to be a proud wife of an American soldier, but they don't agree to be the punching ground. They don't agree to be the cop wife. You know, it takes a very special person to be married to a law enforcement officer, female or male. It takes a very special person to be able to do it. They have to have patience and understanding. And when you come home from the job, even though you try to leave it, you can't. You can't always leave it. And that's tough. That's really tough. And it's so heart-wrenching, you know, and this is kind of off in left field, which I'm known to do. But the gentleman who played, I just forgot his name because I'm sitting here thinking about this. He just passed away from ALS and he played Mark Sloan from can you see who that name his name is? I just lost it. Mark Sloan of Gray's Anatomy. I could see his face, and he was in the bad boys. And I know when you say Eric Dane. Never mind. His name's Eric Dane. He had ALS. And the reason I'm going, he he this is nothing to do with domestic violence. But if you have six minutes, I think it's six minutes and 19 seconds or something like that. Go Google this man. He did an interview before he passed away. Babe. He did the he did an interview before he passed away. And he agreed to do it with the understanding it would not go live until he died. And he had two beautiful children with his ex-wife, Rebecca Gayhart. And I think their names are Billy and Georgia. And this man who was just an amazing actor, family man, loved his kids. Like I said, he was in Bad Boys. He's, I think it was the last ship. He was McSteamy in Grey's Anatomy. And now you see him in a wheelchair. He can barely swallow. He can barely talk. And for six minutes, he left a message to his two children, to his girls, and it is the most heartfilled message talking about I want you to love. I want you to fall in love. I want you to fall in love, even if it is with a person, I don't care who they are. It is so heartfelt. And to know that they're going to have that forever. It's beautiful. And the reason I'm talking about this with Eric Dane is because he just literally went from standing functioning to wheelchair bound so fast by the time his diagnosis came out, right? And he had very progressive ALS. You don't know what tomorrow brings. You just don't. And it's so imperative that you tell the ones that you love that you love them. And the ones who bring you drama and trauma, just put them out in the west, you know, put them in the wayside. You don't need it. Life is too short. It's just it's too short. And if people are gonna bring you drama, you don't need it unless you crave that stuff. And we know plenty of people who do. You just need to say no.

SPEAKER_04 18:15

How many times do you think, Victoria? We you, I, and our daughter down there watching TV say I love you to each other throughout the day.

Narcissism, Boundaries, And Respect

SPEAKER_00 18:26

Consistently a dozen or more.

SPEAKER_04 18:31

I would I would agree. I would say anywhere between eight to fifteen. From the time we wake up five in the morning.

SPEAKER_01 18:40

I go to sleep.

SPEAKER_04 18:42

And and and you know, she's she's hit the nail on the head, guys. How many times do you look over your your significant other or your child and just give them a hug and say, hey, I love you. You know, I'll be walking in the store with our daughter, and I'll just reach over and give her a hug. Say, I love you, you know, standing in line at Starbucks.

SPEAKER_01 19:01

And let me just say kudos to him, to my husband, because back in the day replay of 20 something years ago, it took me three and a half years to get I love you out of my husband.

SPEAKER_02 19:14

Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_01 19:15

And when he first said it, he had a Mountain Dew on the light bar of the squad car and he got a call. We were in a parking lot, and he said, Could you wait here until I get back from this call? It's nothing, it's an alarm. And somebody probably tripped it, it's not a big deal. I'll be back in five minutes. And I was like, I guess. And it was raining, and I was like, Oh, I don't want it to find. And he had his Mountain Dew on the light bar. He gets in and then he gets on the PA and he goes, By the way, I love you. And I was like, What? What? Like, oh my God. And he speeds off, and the Mountain Dew goes like all over the side of the door, everywhere else. He stops in the middle of a very busy road. U-turns, comes back and goes, I just said that out loud, didn't I? And I said, Yes, yes, you did. And then he went to the call and came back. And I waited for the longest time to hear him say that. I mean, just the longest time. And then after that, I was always like wanting him to say it more and more and more and more and more. And it means so much and it costs nothing, but it means everything. It really does. It's just the simplicity of you know, letting someone know that they're valued.

SPEAKER_04 20:31

So, you know, our dogs say I love you too, us all the time.

SPEAKER_01 20:34

Especially mine say it to me.

SPEAKER_04 20:36

They'll just come up to us while we're sitting down on the couch like a while ago, and just prop their head on our leg and just look at us with those poopy dog eyes.

SPEAKER_01 20:45

Yes, but stucco pushes you away. Like he, I was downstairs in the, we call it the cold room, and my husband tries to get frisky for a minute, and I'm like, What are you doing? You better get your hand off of me. And we're just playing, and next thing you know, I hear Stucco going down two flights of stairs, and I'm deaf. He comes out and just pushes my husband away and gets right up on my lap. And he was like, I don't think so. That's my mama. And I I mean, you can't help but love him. He's so he's just my stucco.

SPEAKER_04 21:16

Yeah, so my wife does paralegal paperwork shit, and yeah, you've got so much on your plate.

SPEAKER_00 21:24

That doesn't help my weight loss.

SPEAKER_04 21:27

Anyway, some of that is doing last mile attestments, you know, for her clients or for friends, even revamping ours.

SPEAKER_01 21:35

Power of attorney, medical power of attorney, so it's abandonment of property. What you're saying.

SPEAKER_04 21:43

It's important, y'all. Tell your loved ones that you actually love them. You know, they like to hear it. You don't know what's going through their mind. You don't know what's going on at the time. You know?

Family Stories, Humor, And Resilience

SPEAKER_01 21:56

It's it's tough, and then you know, you you really go in and you You you go through and really look at like a narcissist and probably never says it. I never heard from my egg donor that she loved me. Ever. Never, ever, ever.

SPEAKER_04 22:16

And you got a perfect memory.

SPEAKER_01 22:18

Like I no, never told me. I can never, ever recall my sperm donor telling my egg donor that he loved her. Ever. There was never affection. It was like Antarctica and Siberia between them. Always. A couple times I saw them hold hands. I almost flipped over and was like, What? Did you fall? Did you catch you? What's this? Like, you know, there was no affection. There was no terms of endearment. But my grandparents, and today is the anniversary of my grandfather passing, by the way. And when they were around each other, it was like the sweetest thing you've ever seen constantly, but it wasn't too much. It was just the right perfect amount. Like, look at my beautiful bride. Isn't she gorgeous? You know, when my grandmother was going through cancer and she lost her hair, he didn't care. He still said she was stunning, she was beautiful. And it didn't matter what was going on. He held every door open for her, he ordered for her, he took her coat for her, he helped her put her coat on. Like it they kept every correspondence they wrote between each other for over 50 years. And it's like that's what it's about, right? And so I openly, and in my books, I've openly thanked my biological parents because they taught me how not to be as a partner, how not to be as a mom, or you know, for a long time I was a mom and dad. They taught me how not to do both of that, and then I was given the greatest gift from them, which was my grandparents and the opportunity to see what love really was, you know, and to see all of that. And that's so important because life is too short. But when you really go into the mind of a narcissist, you know, for the longest time, people don't realize narcissists are very insecure and they never will admit it. You could stay. I mean, you and I both had narcissistic people in our lives, and like, well, not in our lives anymore, but in family. And you could go up to them and say, You're very insecure, you are very insecure. And imagine saying that to any of them because they would deny it wholeheartedly till the sun went down. But it's true, they're very insecure, and so they want to impress people so much that's outside of the dynamic of family, and then they take out all their aggression, everything else behind that door inside the house because it's not a home. And it's just why do you care so much about what all these other people out there think? But the people who are there for you, you just crap all over and walk away, and then never in your life can you take accountability for your actions, ever. Nothing you ever do is good enough for anybody when it comes to us trying to do right by the narcissist. You just can't, and they'll never give you credit.

SPEAKER_04 25:16

Yep. So back when my wife and I were dating, up until present, I have always tried to open my wife's door for her. Now, my wife is stubborn, y'all. She is a feisty, red-headed, one-headed ball of fire. Okay. And she has done for her and herself almost all her life, okay? She's learned how to survive. So she doesn't need a man to hold open the door for her. She doesn't need a man to open her car door. Okay. The fact that there's one in her life is still a struggle for her.

SPEAKER_01 25:59

That's not true. I absolutely don't think that's true. Well, in some instances grab the door handle. That's habit.

SPEAKER_03 26:06

Habit.

SPEAKER_01 26:06

Yes, but like there's certain things that I love for you doing. Like, I love when you open the door, I love when you order for me, which you haven't done a lot lately. But I love when you do stuff like that. But there are so many things that I can do myself that I don't want anyone to do for me because I don't ever want to feel like I'm not able to.

SPEAKER_04 26:31

Okay, let's let's let's back up on the ordering. Why would you want me to order for you? Isn't that a controlling factor? Like, I'm I'm telling you, this is what you're gonna eat, woman.

Dogs, Healing, And Safety At Home

SPEAKER_01 26:41

No, because I'm so like A, I'm ordinary, B, I'm consistent. So wherever we go, I order basically the same thing without variation. Okay, and so my grandfather used to order for my grandmother, and I think that's I'm very old school in a lot of aspects. So doing something like ordering what I'm gonna eat, knowing what I want, because I order the same thing, to me, that's very sweet, that's very gentlemanli. That's different. You saying to me, you're not cutting your hair, and if you want to go and dye it black, absolutely not, that's controlling. That's saying what can and can't be done. And for someone who just cut seven inches off their hair, obviously that's not the issue. But like for you to like order, it's a sign of affection, it's a sign of love to do something like that. Nobody does that anymore. And you know, you go to these restaurants, you look around, everybody's on their freaking phone, everybody's like head down on their phone. And so often I had this little voice in my head of my grandfather going, if I wanted them at that table, they would have been invited. And I'll sit there, and if we get quiet at the table, I'll be like, All right, what's going on? Why isn't anybody talking? You know, because that's crazy. Why go out, pay for a meal when you're just gonna sit there and talk to whomever on the phone, not pay attention or play a game. My husband's doing it right now. He's looking at his phone.

SPEAKER_04 28:06

Another home.

SPEAKER_01 28:07

Still, I hate electronics.

SPEAKER_04 28:10

The next time we go to Texas Roadhouse, whatever I order for you, you're gonna eat it.

SPEAKER_01 28:14

Only if it's something I wouldn't normally eat. So don't try to order me something I've ever had in my entire life because it's gonna be a waste of money.

SPEAKER_04 28:20

That roadkill is pretty dang good.

SPEAKER_01 28:22

I will never try it.

SPEAKER_04 28:24

Just because of the name roadkill?

SPEAKER_01 28:25

No, because it's meat.

SPEAKER_04 28:27

Of course it's meat.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

Oh, and right now I doesn't I can't seem to like anything I eat right now. Nothing I'm eating right now is is yummy at that point, like nothing. And I've openly stated I'm doing GLP 1. Like I've I've put it out there that I am, and I am. I'm doing GLP1. That I am, I am that I am. I am doing GLP1. I'm trying for the first time to better myself and take my own advice that I give and help myself because I I have extreme body dysphoria and I am the first to admit it.

SPEAKER_04 29:02

But yet you're beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 29:03

Thank you. Order my food.

SPEAKER_04 29:07

Yes, ma'am.

SPEAKER_01 29:08

But you know, it it's the fact that, like, okay, let's take faith for instance. I love the playful banter you two have, right? But she could come in here right now and she will tell you, I have never raised my voice to her, I've never screamed at her, she's never been spanked, she's never been hit. But if you ask her, you know, who, you know, if she senses that I'm disappointed in her actions, like I would say to her, I'm not mad at you, I'm disappointed in your choice. Because I want her to know that this will pass and I don't love her less, but it's how you address it, right? So I would always say to her, hey, I really thought that you were gonna do this today, and instead you've done this. And I'm really disappointed because I thought that you would have accomplished this because I believe in you and I know you could do it. And so when they're bantering back and forth, and I'll just walk by in my normal voice and I'll be like, I'm sorry, have you eaten yet? No, ma'am. But then she'll call him an asshole, like two minutes later, because that's their playful banter and that's what they do, and it's all in just fun. But he'll be like, Why don't you talk to mom that way? She's like, What are you nuts? And it's it's a very big respect. Like, you know, little Faith back in the day used to worry that she would never be pretty. Seriously, this girl is a bombshell. She is what we called in the 80s.

SPEAKER_04 30:31

Back off, guys.

Country Life, Quiet, And Simplicity

SPEAKER_01 30:32

What we call in the 80s a brickhouse. Remember that term? She's flawless, she is gorgeous. And I can't just say that because she's mine, even though I am saying it because she's mine. She's gorgeous. But like, you know, when she was little, she used to say, Mom, nobody's ever gonna want me in a relationship because I'm not pretty. And I'm like, What? Every single day, there's not a day that goes by I don't tell her how gorgeous she is. There's not a day that goes by that I don't tell her how beautiful she is inside and out. Every single day, even when she was in her, like, I'm wearing nothing but black period. And I mean black fingernails, black toenails, black jewelry, black gothic clothes. I don't know which friend put her, I now I do put her in this little cycle, but I still was like, you're stunning, you're beautiful, you're gorgeous, right? Because to be trapped in your body knowing that you don't see yourself as others do is its own life sentence. It really is. You are just drowning in your own negativity, and it is nothing I ever want faith to go through because it is a life sentence, it really is. And so that's why I'm so big about body dysphoria with her as well. And I mean, I love it. She'll walk around and she'll be like, I'm hot. I know I look good. I think one of the cutest videos I have of her, she must have been like seven or eight.

SPEAKER_04 31:58

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 31:59

She's like, I'm on fire, and she goes, and like puts her fingers to her mouth, blows a kiss on her fingers, and then touches her booty and goes, cutest thing ever, right? And to know, I mean, she's like, I made this look good. That is the that is the kind of self-esteem our kids need. But here's the thing, and Michael, tell me if I'm wrong. She is not conceited. Can I? If I am, but she's not conceited. There's the difference. She's not stuck up, she's not conceited. You are not wrong, but she knows she's beautiful, and that's what matters.

SPEAKER_04 32:34

And that's the reason y'all should tell your loved one you love them every day, because all it took for us was one dinner, and then our world changed.

SPEAKER_01 32:46

And we almost lost her.

SPEAKER_04 32:48

And that wasn't the only time that you know But it happened quickly, yes, extremely quickly.

SPEAKER_01 32:56

Totally out of nowhere.

SPEAKER_04 32:57

When we thought everything was hunky dory, peachy creams. Peachy creams. Peachy creams. Okay. And we had a we had a dinner, and then we were gonna hit the hay.

SPEAKER_01 33:08

No, we were gonna watch a Christmas movie. We were all gonna curl up and watch a Christmas movie.

SPEAKER_04 33:15

So tell them you love them, guys, give them a hug.

SPEAKER_01 33:18

It's so important. And then what about the family members who only come around when you want when they need something or want something into hell with you when they don't?

SPEAKER_04 33:27

They can what? Kick rocks.

SPEAKER_01 33:30

Would you really say that to everyone in your life?

SPEAKER_04 33:32

Kick rocks.

SPEAKER_01 33:34

Yeah, but who are you saying that to?

SPEAKER_04 33:37

Y'all know who we're talking to. Don't come around to us just wanting shit. Just because my wife can do extraordinary things.

SPEAKER_00 33:46

Oh, good grief.

SPEAKER_04 33:49

I don't do much. I make a bracelet every now and then. Oh, and uh, I messed up on my wife's bracelet. She she wanted a sterling silver bracelet, and I worked on it for several hours the other day and totally, totally messed it up, and it was it was food for you Generation X folks. And I have to start entirely from scratch to give my wife a bracelet. But I heard our good buddy Will is liking his.

SPEAKER_01 34:24

It's gorgeous. He loves it.

SPEAKER_04 34:25

Currently babysitting our puppies that we're getting from him very soon. I can't wait because, you know, we've got the living room mapped out, you know, big open area for them. And, you know, some new pro rugs that our current dogs are taking over. And they're gonna have fun down there playing with each other and getting in trouble rooting around.

Kindness In Public And Raising Strong Kids

SPEAKER_01 34:49

They're so cute and so sweet. Oh my like they're just the sweetest. I don't know how anybody could hurt a dog. I really can't. I mean, I I just can't. I can't see or understand how anybody could hurt a dog. You know, I saw and I heard like Keanu Reeves make a statement if you kill a dog, you should be put down yourself. And a lot of people got mad about it. But I mean what seriously, that if you could hurt a golden retriever, like I know there's pit bulls and you know, German shepherds and and all that, and I I get all that, but like a golden retriever is a totally different breed altogether in more ways than one. Like they are the most loving, affectionate, attentive, like they know, like when I start having spasms in my amputated limb, which is all the time now, both of them will come over and neither like Rusty will put his paw on my nub, just like I got you, mom, or or stucco will, and just lay there with me or look at me or sit in the office. And earlier today, you had Stucco with you while you were napping, and I had Rusty in here, and my nub was just starting to like be really weird on one side, and I'm paralyzed on the other side of it, so I don't feel that side, obviously. And all of a sudden, Rusty, who just likes to lay around a lot, sat up and looked at me and did what he stucco does by putting his nose under my nub to move it, and I was like, What are you doing? What are you doing? And then he did, and he moved my nub up and he got on, and not even like 10 seconds later, it just went into like a full spasm. And I was just like, How did you how did you even know? I mean, yeah, they know, they absolutely know.

SPEAKER_04 36:41

I think I saw some training like that when uh you have epileptic seizures come on.

SPEAKER_01 36:45

Yes, they'll let you know ahead of time.

SPEAKER_04 36:46

There's some some chemical your body secretes.

SPEAKER_01 36:51

I didn't get into that part of training, but uh yeah, dogs are awesome, they are, and that's why we're getting two more. That's why we're getting two more.

SPEAKER_04 37:05

I can't imagine because every night I go to bed, I have to kick Stucco out of my spot. He's laying on my pillow.

SPEAKER_01 37:13

That's only because you're trying to get over to me, right?

SPEAKER_04 37:15

I always say, all right, come on, boy, get up, go, get now. I gotta have two more to contend with.

SPEAKER_01 37:22

No, there'll be three because rusty, too.

SPEAKER_04 37:25

Right.

SPEAKER_01 37:26

Why are you saying two? There's gonna be four total.

SPEAKER_04 37:30

On top of the other two, right?

SPEAKER_01 37:31

You just said stucco, and then you said two more, so that's three, but we have we'll have four. And when you're outside, when they bark, you can hear them. They're not playing. I know we have like 20 cameras, and it's always recording, and you know, motion lights and everything else under the sun here, but that gum, those dogs, you you hear them, they're not playing.

SPEAKER_04 37:52

Yeah, folks aren't coming in here that don't need to be in here.

SPEAKER_01 37:58

This is a drama trauma-free zone, and that's why we like it. Believe it or not, we're simple. It's so funny. Do you remember back in the day you were like, Oh, you're a city girl, you would never want to be out in the country. You you you like the highlight and the fast life and blah blah blah blah blah. And you couldn't have been more wrong. I mean, you really, and I'm like, I can't wait for us to move because we're moving to the mountains and I don't want anybody around. I want to take an hour to go to the store. I can't wait, like you know, seriously. Wouldn't we just came back from the mountains and because we went to to see Will, and it was like this is too congested for us, you know, like right in a small town that you're in a very small town, and it is just don't get me wrong, we love people, but people bring unnecessary drama and trauma and stress, and you know, if you're a great person, we have some great people in our lives, don't get me wrong. We have some great people in our lives, and we have some other people that are from afar, and I would like it if they were even farther, just saying, and I think you would too, but I'm more vocal about it than you are. Stupid people what make my head hurt. I say that all the time. Like, stupid people make my head hurt, like standing in the line at the grocery, and I I will go in the line where there is somebody with special needs working the register, and I'm always like, hey, and I call them by their name. How are you doing? How's it going? So good to see you, and you know, take your time. I'm not going anywhere, we're good. And I had the nastiest lady with her son a while back, and and she was like, Great, get behind the one that's gonna take forever to unload onto the belt because she only got one hand. And I just looked at her, and it's like if Faith was there and somebody was ahead of us, she would have been, can I help you unload your cart? When I'm there and I see an elderly person, I ask, can I help if I unload your cart? And they'll look at me like you only have one arm. What are you doing? I can still unload for you. I can still absolutely unload for you.

SPEAKER_04 40:05

Well, that one lady gave you the the gruff this.

SPEAKER_01 40:09

Yes. Right. Remember that one? Yes. One of them smarted off to Faith, and she was just like, I mean, yes, faith is much more verbal in a lot of ways because this woman's cart was spilling over with food.

SPEAKER_04 40:26

And really, what that's probably like$1,500.

SPEAKER_01 40:31

Well, now it's probably more than that. But like, and the woman was just as rude as can be, and and I and I knew it was coming. I just was trying to time it so that she wouldn't hear her. And the woman was so rude to Faith. And Faith tried to be nice to her at first, and the woman kept getting smarter and smarter and just rude as can be to her. So Faith just looked at her and said, What is this, your afternoon snack? About the cart of food. And she looks at me, she's like, Are you gonna allow your child to talk to me that way? Yeah, I am because she gave you like multiple chances and she offered to help you. You were rude, and she needs to know she can stand up for herself. So absolutely. And Faith is like, You need a hug, but it's obviously not gonna be for me. And she was like, Don't look at me like I'm a pork chop. But I mean, Faith is the most giving, loving person in the world, and she will help you with any and everything. But if you cross her or someone that she loves, it's done. One and done. That's it. And kids today, they're not like that.

SPEAKER_04 41:37

I should get them to pick their head up from their phone.

SPEAKER_01 41:40

Hey, you have no room to talk. I hate electronics. I am so and the only reason I and people say, Well, you're on it all the time. I'm on the computer all the time, but you know, like I don't have a tablet and I am good with it. I have two phones, one is the business and one is personal, and and I'm not thrilled about it. I don't see how, and not and I get it, a lot of people are gamers, okay. But my husband and daughter can play games, they can play says it's good for me. Yeah, but you don't tell her the truth.

SPEAKER_04 42:13

How am I gonna lie to my therapist with your mouth open? You want to be on my next session?

SPEAKER_01 42:18

I would love to. Because you told her you only play when people are sleeping. You did not tell her you play in the evenings, you did not tell her you play on your phone, you did not tell her you play for hours at a time, you did not tell her you play on the phone and the Xbox at the same time.

SPEAKER_04 42:34

Holy, that's your daughter.

SPEAKER_01 42:35

No, I've seen you do it too.

SPEAKER_04 42:38

You just told me I'll let there tonight, don't you? I'm just saying we're scratching this episode.

SPEAKER_01 42:43

No, we're not. Do you know how to produce it?

SPEAKER_04 42:46

Not produce this one.

SPEAKER_01 42:47

Do you know how to produce any of the episodes?

SPEAKER_04 42:49

We're not going to produce this one. Oh, yes, I am. No, you're not.

SPEAKER_01 42:52

Oh, yeah, I am.

SPEAKER_04 42:53

Who's the boss?

SPEAKER_01 42:54

I am.

SPEAKER_04 42:54

I'm the president.

SPEAKER_01 42:55

Uh no, you've been demoted to vice president, remember? Faith took your job.

SPEAKER_04 43:00

If I do not remember, does it still count?

unknown 43:03

No.

SPEAKER_00 43:04

It does not.

SPEAKER_02 43:08

Faith.

SPEAKER_01 43:11

And it's so cute because you two will have words and then you'll be like, I can't imagine my life without her.

SPEAKER_03 43:16

Oh, shut up. Don't say that, Richard.

SPEAKER_01 43:18

You just want me to shut up.

SPEAKER_03 43:19

Yes, I did. Shut up.

SPEAKER_01 43:20

And then you talk about how much you love her, and she's the best kid you could have ever asked for. No. And that she's the best kid you could have ever asked for.

unknown 43:34

She's gonna hear it.

SPEAKER_01 43:35

She's so much like you, it's unheard of. Okay, but I don't have that habit. Really? Now you're gonna talk squeagily. Yeah, she's my leftover. Wow. That is not a complimentary thing to say.

SPEAKER_03 43:52

What?

SPEAKER_01 43:52

That's my leftover. Like that's that's not that's Just so wrong.

SPEAKER_04 44:01

No, she finished first.

SPEAKER_01 44:03

How do you even figure that?

SPEAKER_04 44:05

She was the fastest swimmer.

SPEAKER_01 44:07

Oh my god. You know what? I want her to come in here and do a podcast soon because it is a downright riot listening to the two of y'all. Because she won't take your shit.

SPEAKER_04 44:20

Really? She doesn't.

SPEAKER_01 44:22

Like she came in there into our room last night, ran up beside you, and and just farted nothing like ever. And then she's like, my bob, blew you a guess, and runs out and touch the door.

SPEAKER_04 44:34

Nasty heifer.

SPEAKER_01 44:36

It was hilarious.

SPEAKER_04 44:39

And then y'all go on Amazon and read some of her books about me.

SPEAKER_01 44:43

Oh Lord. She only did one about you, and I helped her with it.

SPEAKER_04 44:47

Don't take credit for her.

SPEAKER_01 44:49

I'm not taking credit.

SPEAKER_04 44:50

She's an awesome writer. Yes, she is. She writes phenomenal stuff. And then when she asks you, what do you think? How do you like it? Definitely better believe I'm gonna give you my opinion.

SPEAKER_01 45:02

All four cents. So here's a question. What do you do when a family member comes out of the woodwork out of nowhere and asks for help that you've had issues with in the past?

SPEAKER_04 45:14

Oh sorry, I'm not available.

SPEAKER_01 45:18

You would actually say that.

SPEAKER_04 45:20

Sorry, I'm not available.

SPEAKER_01 45:21

Since when would you say that?

SPEAKER_04 45:23

The other day.

SPEAKER_01 45:26

What if it was life or death?

SPEAKER_04 45:29

Look, you have someone else in your immediate vicinity.

SPEAKER_01 45:33

What if they didn't?

SPEAKER_04 45:34

They do. Everyone does.

SPEAKER_01 45:38

Not everyone.

SPEAKER_02 45:40

Really?

SPEAKER_01 45:40

It was plenty of time I didn't. Now what, crickets?

SPEAKER_04 45:47

You did, but you could go to them.

SPEAKER_01 45:51

And if I did, it wouldn't have mattered anyway. So then what do you do?

SPEAKER_04 45:57

I'm just I'm not doing anything. I got my little family up here to protect. Have we been through enough? Why are you putting more stuff on my plate?

SPEAKER_01 46:09

At least you got a plate. I got a buffet.

SPEAKER_04 46:12

Is it all you can eat buffet?

SPEAKER_01 46:15

Is it you're nasty?

SPEAKER_04 46:17

What?

SPEAKER_01 46:20

Why do you look at me up and down like I'm the menu?

SPEAKER_04 46:26

Oh, girl, you make my stubborn hurt.

SPEAKER_01 46:28

You know, the first time you met my best friend who passed away, we met you at a bar, and it was like a like an Applebee's kind of thing, whatever. And you walked in. I do know the name of it. And you walk in, and she looks at you, and she was like, huh. And then you're like, I'm gonna have to get something to go. And I was like, Well, you know, and then you're like, I have to go to the restroom. And I said, Well, tell me what you want, I'll order it for you. You took the menu, you threw it on the ground, and you said, I can have anything I want on the menu. And I said, Well, yeah, I'll order it for you. And he said, How about you stand on top of it? Yeah, you did.

SPEAKER_04 47:08

That was so cheesy that it worked, not for a very long time. I have you now and forever.

SPEAKER_01 47:15

You had me then, as long as you remember, but you also had like today counts.

SPEAKER_04 47:22

Tomorrow's not here.

SPEAKER_01 47:25

So then you should value every single second.

SPEAKER_04 47:27

I do. That's why I'm spending time with you right now.

SPEAKER_01 47:30

Why did you have something in your eye?

SPEAKER_04 47:32

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 47:33

Could you wink it?

SPEAKER_04 47:34

Love and affection for you.

SPEAKER_01 47:35

Oh, sorry if I hurl. Seriously. So, how do you back to that? So, love to your what do you do? Like the simple things. I love posting notes. I've even bought you posting notes and give it to you.

SPEAKER_04 47:55

There's two right there on the wall.

SPEAKER_01 47:56

The reason, okay. That's not a posty note, that's an eight by eleven. This is on button. Don't work too much on you tonight because it's all stuff involved. See, I need you tonight. Always here, always watching, always loving, always yours, always soulmates, soulmateship, babe. And then you wrote your name, your first and last name, like I don't know who it is, right? But I've given him posting notes and a pen. And I was like, I love finding notes. And I would find notes in the vehicle, like, ooh, I'm gonna have my chicken pot pie tonight, because my nickname is chicken. And so he's nicknamed me chicken, and he would leave these notes and it made my day. It absolutely makes my day, and it takes like less time than a text, but it's called penmanship, where you pick up a pen and you write on a piece of paper, which nobody does anymore. It's all electronic, right? They're gonna stop making pens. That's what's next. By the way, totally off left field, because that's again what we do. Say Biden.

SPEAKER_04 48:59

No, say it again.

SPEAKER_01 49:01

No, by the way, sound like Biden. No, I didn't mention him.

SPEAKER_04 49:07

Who?

SPEAKER_01 49:08

Ugh.

SPEAKER_04 49:09

Who we now found out.

SPEAKER_01 49:14

Thank you for joining us. I have no idea what he's about to talk about.

SPEAKER_04 49:19

Presidential Medal of Honor Award during his administration, and we were completely unaware of it until like just a few days ago. So my wife has a presidential medal of honor award waiting for her that we have to go get somehow, if we can still get it, if she can acquire it. She'll have to reach out to Trump and his administration.

SPEAKER_01 49:47

Can I get it from Trump?

SPEAKER_04 49:48

I I wish you could. I wish he'd give it to you personally with a doorseck to sponsor this contagious smile indefinitely.

SPEAKER_01 49:56

Did you hear what happened to Trump this morning?

SPEAKER_04 49:58

No.

SPEAKER_01 49:59

At Margo Lago, what is it called? Margot Lago, whatever. Whatever. I don't know if he was there or not. 1:30 in the morning, somebody hopped the fence over there with gun and gasoline, and Secret Service shot him dead where he stood.

SPEAKER_04 50:18

There you go.

SPEAKER_01 50:19

And everybody's all mad at Trump for what? For doing it.

SPEAKER_04 50:24

Protecting his family?

SPEAKER_01 50:25

He didn't kill him.

SPEAKER_04 50:26

No.

SPEAKER_01 50:27

Secret Service did.

SPEAKER_04 50:28

Right. He hired people to protect his family.

SPEAKER_01 50:31

Where was the ones protecting him when he almost got his ear shot off?

SPEAKER_04 50:35

Oh. Couldn't tell you. They were laxadaisical.

SPEAKER_01 50:42

They didn't even see the shooter on the building.

SPEAKER_04 50:47

Well, they kind of they did. They had the one sniper watching him. Then they should have removed him. They were not giving the go ahead to fire.

SPEAKER_02 50:59

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_04 51:04

Anyway, good that he's safe and sound.

SPEAKER_01 51:08

A lot of people either they everybody either loves him or hates him. There's no in-between. None.

SPEAKER_04 51:17

Yep. All right. Well, that was a good note to end on.

SPEAKER_01 51:23

Yeah, because I'm producing this one.

Closing, New Books, And Support

SPEAKER_04 51:27

So y'all be sure to look out for her upcoming books. You can get a lot of them from victoriacure.com, go through Amazon, hop over to contagious spawn.com, buy us a cup of coffee, y'all. Please. Please support the show. We're doing this all out of our pocket. And just a little bit from the 40 million followers that we have could go a long way. So buy us a coffee.

SPEAKER_00 51:56

I don't think Antarctica heard that.

SPEAKER_04 51:59

I just saw some on Antarctica recently. And on what? Antarctica. Oh what? Antarctica. I'm from Georgia. That's how we talk. Antarctica. Good night, y'all. Thanks for listening.