We Tried To Help His Dad And Uncovered A Nightmare

He’s supposed to be “Dad” and he’s supposed to be safe. Then one phone call turns into months of ambulance rides, doctor appointments, opioid red flags, and a home that slowly stops feeling like home. We share what happened when we took in Michael’s biological father after a death in the family, believing we were doing the right thing and trying to build a relationship that never had a real chance to grow.

Along the way, we also talk about a different kind of vulnerability: what it takes to trust your spouse with the parts of you that still feel tender. We get honest about trauma scars, body dysmorphia after domestic violence, and the lingering medical impacts of strangulation injuries. A mammogram and follow-up breast ultrasound adds another layer, reminding us how fast fear can spike and how powerful real support can be in a moment when you feel alone.

Then the story goes darker: an overdose reversed with Narcan, a demand from doctors to take over medication management, escalating manipulation, and pressure to get involved in illegal activity. When suicide enters the conversation, firearms safety becomes immediate and non-negotiable. We talk about what we found, what professionals told us, and the cost of trying to save someone who refuses help, including job loss and financial fallout. If you’re navigating elder care, addiction, caregiver burnout, mental health crisis, or family fraud, this conversation is a blunt reminder to document everything, trust your gut, and set boundaries early.

If this hit home, subscribe, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What boundary do you wish you had set sooner?

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:02

Oh my god, my husband is just dropping the mic. Literally. Hi y'all. Welcome to another episode of a contagious smile unstoppable. You are here with me and my husband, Michael, who obviously dropped the mic because he's the one who always brings us in. And now he's just sitting there.

SPEAKER_04 0:20

So I have to tell you a story. I just came back from the grocery store. Oh Lord. I picked up a few items for dinner tonight that I'll cook because the man. Anyway, the young cashier boy saw my t-shirt that I'm wearing. Is it who I thought it was? And it is. And I'm wearing a contagious smile t-shirt. Oh, yes. Myself and my wife on there in the picture along with Stucco. And the young man said, Oh, you listen to that podcast too. I said, Why, yes, I do. I listen to it also. They come in here all the time. I said, Wow, isn't that something? You have celebrities, a famous podcast that comes in your store, and you take care of them. He was like, Yeah, it's really, it's really cool. And and and I know their daughter. And how do you know them personally? And I said, Well, young man, you see this handsome guy on this t-shirt here. Yeah? I said, That's me. And he said, No, it's not. Realization hit him. He's so fun. Uh he he did a 180. What's that kid's name? Macaulay Coughlin. Where the hands calling the face? You know, and and uh oh shit. I just he doesn't curse. No, he doesn't curse. He's a real sweet kid. But he was so surprised that he said, I'm so sorry, I didn't recognize you. And then our daughter walked up and he said, Oh, hi, Miss Faith. I'm sorry I didn't recognize your dad. Probably is because I recently shaved everything off my face.

SPEAKER_02 1:55

It's starting to grow back.

SPEAKER_04 1:56

Yeah.

Scars, Trust, And Body Dysmorphia

SPEAKER_02 1:57

It's starting to grow back. So we have two big things to talk about today.

SPEAKER_04 2:04

Is this a fat joke?

SPEAKER_02 2:05

No, I'm not talking about myself.

SPEAKER_04 2:07

Whatever.

SPEAKER_02 2:08

We are talking about something you said you were gonna discuss today, and then we're gonna talk about how earlier when we were sitting here working, you made a comment about me being so vulnerable and showing you scars that ended like telling you uh more detail about them.

SPEAKER_04 2:31

Yes. So my wife, my wife opened up, and then and this is not a fat joke, y'all, an enormous door. Broke she broke down a huge wall, whatever you want to say, you know, crossed a gap. You know, just just broke the chains off this one and really opened up to me. And y'all, we've been together for off and on for 20 plus years, but we've been married for five years.

SPEAKER_01 3:03

25 years we've known each other.

SPEAKER_04 3:06

And because of the shit she went through in her first marriage, there was a lot of walls that were put up, a lot of a lot of barriers. And over the years, you know, I I've did my roughest, rawest, non-tactfulest way, redneck way, to try to over help her overcome those. And you know, she she trusts me explicitly around her neck, and that's a major point when you have been choked out and strangled and suffocated. Right.

SPEAKER_00 3:41

I mean, like my blood vessels popped in my eyes. I was that close and went unconscious. So you're seconds away from death at that point.

SPEAKER_02 3:50

And I've even had, and a lot of people don't know this, but when you've been suffocated and strangled like that, it and to that extreme. A lot of people don't know that there are operations that sometimes have to happen. Like after that, I kept having choking episodes, and I had to go to a gastroenterologist and they had to do like surgical procedures where they stretched the inside of my throat because of it being closed up, which I had no idea was something that's common for someone who had been strangled. And I've had to do it off and on numerous times as the muscles continue to grow. And like if I was to get laryngitis, my laryngitis lasts a long longer than most people's because my vocal cords were damaged in it as well. And so it's just something that I've had to do as well. So I've always been very cautious around my neck, I would say most definitely. But I went yesterday, and this is kind of a quick sidebar yesterday to have my mammogram done. And I've had the Brock test done, which I think everybody should have. And I went and I had the sweetest lady who kept telling me she knew who I was but couldn't place me. And then she was telling me her husband is a podcaster. And then she was like, Oh my God, I now know you are on the cover of Podcast Magazine. And we just got ours, and that's why I recognize you. And she was so sweet. She's like, I'm so sorry. I don't know your podcasts, I don't listen to them. I'm so sorry. And I was telling her, and then she was like, You are such a beautiful inspiration. And I said, No, no, no, no, no, don't please don't do that. So we're just chatting and chatting. And and I said, I really hope you're here just for your annual, you know, exam. And she said, I am. And you know, she was telling me that, you know, you go in and you get squeezed like a pancake, blah, blah, blah. And you get your results the same day. But they tell you in the room unless there's bad news, God forbid, and then they take you into a different area. So they did my mammogram and then told me I was getting ultrasound, which kind of started to scare me because they put these indicators on on me. Um, and they were like, We're gonna specifically look in ultrasound in these areas. And so I thought, oh my God, they have found something. And I'm sitting there just scared as hell, get out by myself. And the lady comes back out and I said, Are you all done? And she said, I am. And I said, you know, was it a good waste of your day? You drove up here for no reason, and you, you know, wasted the day, and all you got was fantastic news. And she goes, I did. And she blew me a kiss and she said, You are so inspirational, you're an angel here on earth. And she gave me that immediate need of confidence boost I needed for that moment because I'm getting ready to go into ultrasound and I'm like, I don't have my support system here. I uh, you know, they have put markers on me where they want to examine further. I can't handle cancer right now. Like, I can't. And I know so many people who've had it. I have good friends that have had it and have gone through it, and it's like I know God only puts so much on your back that you can carry, and I know I have some titanium back there, but I, you know, come on now. Like, I just this can't be on my plate right now. So they they took me back, needless to say, knock on wood. It's you know, cancer free. So I was, you know, very relieved. And last night I needed my husband's help because a couple of the places they put markers on were on my surgical incisions. And one of them was on where I had to have a breast reduction. And I'm very open about it because I had to have a shoulder replacement and I was heavy-chested, top-chested, what do you call it? Large chested, yeah, whatever back in the day. And when I got my shoulder replaced, the doctor said, We can't continue with your breasts this large. So you're gonna have to have a reduction. And I was like, Oh, well, there's the silver lining in that cloud. And they said, and we always do a lift. So a lift means that you, you know, don't have to, as long as you don't breastfeed and have more kids or whatever, you don't have to worry about your chest in your draw. Right. The furniture disease where your chest is in your drawers. And I was like, this gets better and better because you know, I'm one of these people that's like, oh, at the end of the day, you come home, you take your bra off, and you're like flop flop, you know, and it's just like I don't like that. That's just not me. That's my that's not my personal preference. So I was like, oh, that's great. So anyway, one of the scars from the surgery for the reduction, they were a little concerned that there could have been something underneath it. And then one of my stabbing scars that's on my side of my breast was a concern. And so they had the markers on there. And I've always been very self-conscious of my scars. And needless to say, I in the light, shockingly, showed my husband two of my stabbing scars in the light, let him feel them. It wasn't in a in a I hate to say it wasn't in an intimate moment because to me it was very intimate, but it wasn't in a sexual moment. It wasn't, it was it was a very intimate moment between me and my husband, but it wasn't in a sexual moment. So yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:11

And I think I did my part well by playing very serious and and not but you got emotional.

SPEAKER_02 9:16

I mean, you did.

SPEAKER_04 9:17

I mean, most guys, you know, you you you whip out a titty and most guys are gonna go crazy and you know want to fondle it, you know.

SPEAKER_02 9:23

But but then I was showing him the stabbing scars. I have over 12 scars from him stabbing me, and I have them on both sides of my body. And I was showing him, you know, the difference and explaining how surgical scars are very, you know, precise and you know, in line and more, I don't know what you want to call it, like they're symmetrical, they're symmetrical and they're also not sloppy, they're uniform, right? And then, like, if you're being stabbed, you're not holding still, right? And so my stabbing scars are all over the place. You can tell I was moving and trying to get away, and you know, just not saying, okay, you know, do it again. And so I explained and showed him, and he actually felt them. And he's the first person who's ever actually felt those scars. So it was a big moment outside of the surgeons, you know, stitching it up afterwards, of course. But I've always been very uncomfortable because before him, I was this corporate person. I I did have my stuff together. I was a martial artist, I was an instructor at the academy, I was, I had my stuff together. And, you know, people always say, Oh, that would never happen to me. That would never happen to me, that would never happen to me. And you don't know until that moment happens. And I'm here to tell you that because I would have sworn up down, left, right, and center that I would never have been a battered wife, right? I mean, I was in corporate America, I had an executive job, I had two black belts, I have two black belts, I was teaching at the academy, I, you know, everything going for me. But this, you know, monster was so calculated and meticulous, he knew when to wait. And he even testified in court that he waited until I was pregnant because he knew I would not jeopardize losing another child. And so that was just so much, and it just literally made me lose myself. So I guess that's kind of like we just shared that moment, and then the reason that we are kind of going all around the mulberry bush for that is because today we're sitting here working, and can you tell them what you said while we were working?

SPEAKER_04 11:30

You know, better is it's it's I hate that word.

SPEAKER_02 11:32

I hate when we when we say we fought to get our way out, you know, to compare to what you went through, right? But I hate when people are like, Oh, I fought, I fought my way out, you know. And it's like there we need to come up with like its own vocabulary because there's so many words. I hate the word victim. We're not a victim. And it's just anyway. Can you tell him what you said while we were sitting here working? That was just so sweet about how you know he just said he's on the other side of the office, and bless his thumping gizzard.

SPEAKER_04 12:03

Just four feet away from my wife.

SPEAKER_02 12:04

We had to flip the office around because now that my eardrum has been removed from the right side, thanks to crap nuts, I have zero hearing in that ear. And I was already pretty deaf in that ear prior, but then they took up my eardrum because it ruptured again, and it had already been rebuilt and it ruptured. And so I only have, you know, I'm way less than 20% left in hearing, and I do wear a hearing aid when it's operational. And the way the office was set up is that he was on my right, so I couldn't hear him very well. So we flipped the whole office around. And like if I have music on, I always have something in the background on to just know so the silence isn't there, and I have to turn it off when he's talking so I can differentiate. And he looked at me and he was like, Thank you. Thank you for trusting me and letting me see what is so hard for you, and you were so vulnerable. You know what? I just realized I'm telling what you said. I'm sorry. So go ahead. I'm sorry. I just totally walked all over that for you. Go ahead, I'll just shut up.

SPEAKER_04 13:11

Like I said, y'all, it was uh it it's really a huge wall that you know she just blasted right through last night, and I'm so proud of her. She's mentioned several times that she has body dysphoria because of the abuse and mega body dysphoria. You know, to this day, she wears baggy clothes.

SPEAKER_02 13:31

You know, some people are like, oh my god, they're like three times bigger than you're supposed to be. Like my friend Brittany's like, I don't even know what size you are because you wear things that are so big on you that you know there's a body in there, and I know you're losing weight, but I can't, for the life of me, see what your shape is because you wear such big clothes.

SPEAKER_04 13:54

And and y'all, I I told y'all I've been married to this beautiful woman for five solid years, and you know, you have to have patience. You can't, this is something you can't rush through. And it's taken her years, you know, to get this far, and and I'm so proud of her. So I just I just wanted to tell her I love you and thank you for you know opening up because I you know it was nothing I did, it was just something that you she said, okay, it's time. And I'm sure you, you know, you give advice like that.

SPEAKER_02 14:27

I do. But you know what? When you have a patient partner who is understanding, and he and I joke all the time with each other. I mean, all the time. We laugh until we fart. Like it's basically that's really true. That's true. That is true. We laugh until we fart. You know, when we dated 25 years ago, he would say to me when he would spend the night in my apartment, Do you ever fart? Do you ever just let one rip? I mean, for the love, could you just fart? And I'm like, I don't do that. That's gross, right? And I would run to the bathroom and I would fart so he wouldn't hear me or whatever, because I was like, you know, trying to be all impressive. And then he was like, You don't go to sleep wearing socks. You don't sleep with socks on a bed. And he's like, One day you're gonna fart in this bed with me, and one day you're gonna go to sleep not wearing socks. And I hated feet back then because like all the martial art training and stuff, they were weapons, right? They were not something of fun, playful, let's play footsee kind of thing, right? And I never wanted my feet touched, and I never, no, no, no, no, no. Now we're always touching feet, and we just rip it in bed. It's just, you know, there's like a farting competition. It's great. You know, if he agitates me and I drink a little apple juice, it's on. It's great.

SPEAKER_04 15:36

And so this is you and the dog.

SPEAKER_02 15:41

It is great. And Faith will run in the room and say, Dad, I want to tell you goodnight, like she did last last night, right? She was like, and I know now that little Trixie Hobbit, when she wants to really like do a thing with her hair because her hair is so cute, she's got this new hair style, if you will, going on. She'll be like, Mom, can I use your shower? And it's not mom dad, can I use your shower, your bathroom? It's mom, because she wants to get into my hair stuff and like she wants to use my products and whatever that you know, my good friend Britney hooks me up with. And and so I knew that I was walking into that. And of course I don't care, but it's not mom dad, it's mom. So last night she came running in, right? And I know when he's in trouble because it's not dad or daddy, it's Michael, and she runs over and her butt blew out a tuba orchestra symphony, and she was like, Look, my butt blew you kisses, and she runs back out of the room. And I'm like, excuse me, hello, why do you do that to me? Like, why do I have to be the heir of breathing in that toxic fumes? And she just thinks it's hilarious because this is what they do to each other, and I have to breathe in that toxicity. Thank you so much. And that's not supposed to be peeping.

SPEAKER_04 16:54

Can you uh hit your I did the sound button right there, top left on your keyboard to shut off the volume of your computer? I already did. Shut up top left. It's done. Hush puppy.

SPEAKER_02 17:06

It's done. Oh no, it's not.

SPEAKER_04 17:08

Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 17:09

Be quiet. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 17:10

Tell the listeners I was right.

SPEAKER_02 17:12

He was wrong. So before we go into what Michael promised on Sunday, when you woke, when we woke up today, we had uh such a nice gift. We have featured, of course, we've been featured in USA Today. We have been featured in USA Today, one of the biggest newspapers in the country. That's like huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, right? That's amazing. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_04 17:46

Congratulations.

SPEAKER_02 17:47

No, it's congratulations to us and to our listeners because they're a part of it. They're part of the family. Whatever. So before my husband says, I have to go take a tin, I have to go take a nap. Let's talk about what you promised our listeners. So let's have let's have some tea. Let's spill the tea.

SPEAKER_04 18:03

Tea time.

SPEAKER_02 18:04

Tea time.

SPEAKER_04 18:06

Now that reminds me of that lady that did the uh podcast. Bubbles. Don't stop, just don't. All right, let's see. Where to begin here?

SPEAKER_02 18:20

In the beginning.

SPEAKER_04 18:21

In the beginning.

SPEAKER_02 18:22

And I'll help whatever you need along the way.

SPEAKER_04 18:24

In the beginning, God.

SPEAKER_02 18:26

And this is this is you purging, and it's so necessary that you do it because it'll help in your healing. Oh no, this is just a story to this is just No, you said you were gonna nitty gritty it.

SPEAKER_04 18:36

So this is just a story to me. That's not true. It is.

SPEAKER_02 18:40

It's not because you were really deeply hurt.

SPEAKER_04 18:43

Wait a minute. We did have a listener write into my wife advising that she is a hypnotherapist.

SPEAKER_02 18:52

It's a man. Or he. I'm sorry. And he's coming on, he's gonna hypnotize my husband. Now stop left fielding.

SPEAKER_04 19:00

Now I you're gonna tell the story because I know you.

SPEAKER_02 19:03

Nope, I'm not. This needs to come from you. As your therapist, I'm telling you for you to heal correctly.

The Call That Started Everything

SPEAKER_04 19:08

Out of left field here. Try to keep her on track. We get a phone call one evening.

SPEAKER_00 19:15

Months ago.

SPEAKER_04 19:16

From okay, we'll we'll start off saying dad.

SPEAKER_00 19:19

Sperm donor two. Sperm donor two.

SPEAKER_04 19:22

Alright. We get a phone call from my dad, my biological father. Two pugs and a push. And he says these words. I said, Dad, what's wrong?

SPEAKER_02 19:34

Because we had not heard from him in a hot minute.

SPEAKER_04 19:37

He said, I finally got rid of her. What? Okay, Dad, you're gonna have to explain a little bit about more. What do you mean? And he said, My wife just passed away about two weeks ago. Okay. So we're on our way down there. Immediately. Right? Like we didn't even hesitate. We're going to console. We're going to suggest moving up here with us. My dad's he was 6'4 at 330-30 pounds. Okay. He's already been over because of a truck that ran over him. Injury. So he's not able to take care of himself very well. We learned that's not true. We get down there and now we've known for years that my dad is a hoarder. Okay? Understatement. He's got barns and barns on two different properties, and it's just 30 years worth of shit in there. Just an enormous amount of stuff. We get down there and we start helping clean up some of his ex-wife's stuff. Because she's been gone for two weeks. He said, I want it out of here, I want it gone. I don't even care about it. Alright, we start packing everything up, getting rid of it. Alright, Dad. How about moving up there with us? Okay, I'll move up there with y'all. But give me give me a little time. So over the course of the next several weeks to months, we go back and forth weekly to move things in and out and to bring stuff up here and to keep encouraging. Hey, let's move up here. Alright, so fast forward a little bit, we get him up here. The first week he was here, we had, I think, no less than three ambulance rides to the ER.

SPEAKER_00 21:30

Which he wants us to be in. He wanted me to go with him in every single one. I think that's really perfect information.

SPEAKER_04 21:36

So my wife rides with him. I I pack up things for my daughter and me, because we don't know how long we're gonna be. We go to ER every freaking time.

SPEAKER_02 21:47

Now, not to stop, just to add to the importance of the story, I am mere days post stop. That's right, you were from massive surgery. So, and we're still taking care. Him moving him, climbing into the ambulance. Like, you know, my surgery post op is not even relevant at this point. We're just trying to, you know, we've gutted our home, turned it inside out. All of our bathrooms are up on the top level, full baths. So he we turned our whole living room into his bedroom and we got rid of our furniture. We had to buy a whole new kitchen table and chairs because he couldn't fit in our kitchen table and chairs. So we had to get all new furniture. We had to get rid of our living room. We had to get rid of our couch and love seats. We had to sell so much of our stuff. And we even started finding contractors and bringing them in because he wanted to make an in-law suite. So that's where we were. Okay, sorry. I just want them to have the whole picture.

SPEAKER_04 22:47

And y'all know my wife puts everyone first before her. So post-off, post-op surgery, it doesn't matter to her. She's putting everybody else before her. She's got a huge heart. That's why we love you, Victoria. Anywho, as my wife stated, we started renovating the house and getting things set up for him to you know have his own room, his own bathroom, and all that, because we had a few flights of stairs for him to walk up every day, and it was very hard for him. Anyway, we noticed that he had three small safes that he carried around, you know.

SPEAKER_02 23:28

Like an old lady with a purse. Like if think about Sophia Patrello on the Golden Girls, how she carried her little bag everywhere when she went, everywhere, right? Like it was her everything. He did the same thing.

SPEAKER_04 23:40

Right. And we we we know he had medication there because his excuse was, oh, I've had someone try to break in here before and take my meds. Okay, well, that's that's understandable. You you keep you know narcotics or whatever locked up, just like you would a firearm. We noticed his daily habits of of just downing multiple pills throughout the day. And you know, of course, you know, we're very observant, we watch them. He said they were vitamins. You know, we question him about them at times, and he did confess, you know, there are some opioids in there.

SPEAKER_00 24:17

Uh well, he said the the other thing, the container that he left unlocked were vitamins.

SPEAKER_04 24:21

Right. So as we get him scheduled for multiple visits to the doctor to get him taken care of.

SPEAKER_02 24:30

From neurology to podiatry, and everyone in between, we had the best of the best doctors in Atlanta scheduled, because I called using like my advocacy relationships and my personal relationships, getting him into appointments that other doctors even said to us, if we called asking for a favor, like they're not gonna see him for you know six months to a year, like pain management. You can't just get in to pain management. And I had him going in in a matter of weeks, like just three weeks.

SPEAKER_04 25:01

So got before one specific doctor, and he said, bring all the meds in. You're skipping a lot. Well, would you like to fill in?

SPEAKER_02 25:09

No, but that was after he OD'd.

SPEAKER_04 25:12

Right. We had to get to that one that was prescribed to him.

SPEAKER_02 25:18

Right, but you're missing all the other appointments where after we saw that doctor. Right, but what I'm saying is all the other appointments. I fill it in. Okay, so we were taking him to three, four appointments a week, whether it's you know, podiatry, neurology, radiology, because he had MRIs, CAT scans, x-rays. We had cardiology, vascular, pain management. Everybody was seeing him. We set him up with a new PCP, you name it, we got him established. And he wanted us to go in for every he had me go into every single appointment with him. So all of the doctors notated on their own accord that, you know, he always was alert, that he never had any bruises on his person, that there was no abrasions or anything like that. He openly stated that he was on morphine and oxy for what was it? It was over 10 years, and that he was even driving on it. And one of his surgeons said, Well, you're not driving anymore, and advised him that that wasn't gonna happen. Multiple doctors notated he was drug seeking as well. And his story was contradicting to every doctor and specialist because he would not let us know what was in the safes. Like they were locked, and we didn't know. And so he was saying, Oh, I haven't been on this medication for months and months, but we found out he was taking it. And then he would tell another doctor that he wasn't on opioids for months, but then he was drug tested and he showed positive for the opioids he stated he wasn't taking. So he was constantly being checked by other doctors. And as this is all going on, we're learning about so many other things about him legally that we didn't know about. Also, my husband had not been in his life consistently, except from like seven and younger. And there was a few times throughout adulthood, you know, here and there, only a couple where there was interaction. And it wasn't an ongoing relationship, and nobody else wanted him. So we were, without question, we jumped and said, We'll take you, we'll take care of you. This is what we're gonna do. And, you know, this was still the last time we had seen him, it was a couple of years before that, and it was in July, and it was like a hundred degrees out, and he called us out of the blue for no reason and said, I don't have air conditioning. And it was like 11 o'clock at night, and we immediately picked up where we were, picked up everything, and immediately went to go get them. Immediately in the middle of the night, we drove all night. Yeah, it was late, and then we drove right back, and there was no hesitation, right? This is what we did, and then there was another time we went down there and got them for something else, and then there was a time he had come up here with who we thought was his wife, and there was a big issue. And anyway, so go back to the medication now because there's so much, there's so much, it's overwhelming. Like, it's overwhelming. This is be a lifetime movie. No, it would be a horror movie, is what it would be, actually. But go ahead.

SPEAKER_04 28:40

Anyway, after the one specific doctor went through all the meds and said, you know, y'all need to take control of the medication.

SPEAKER_02 28:49

That was on the night he overdosed.

Overdose, Narcan, And Medication Control

SPEAKER_04 28:51

Right.

SPEAKER_02 28:52

And they had to do two full rounds of Narcan IV to bring him back to baseline. They told him he couldn't do his meds anymore.

SPEAKER_04 29:03

So this is this is when I specifically saw a big change in, let's say you had dad. His attitude, his demeanor just changed. I mean, he was he used to come down here and and sit with our daughter Faith and watch movies and laugh and talk and cut up and joke around. After this doctor visit, and he realized that we now will dole out his medications, the correct ones, as prescribed. He became distanced, sullen, withdrawn, bitter. He became an ass. Just just angry. I mean, just look at he'd give you such a look like you know, like I'm gonna kill you. That uh that it was that kind of look at times that he gave my wife. And you know, we we started seeing this, and and then like Molly said, we started finding out that that he was into a lot of illegal shit on paper that you know we won't bring up now, I guess. But in the end, I mean in the end it it's gonna get him because we're not gonna have anything to do with it.

SPEAKER_02 30:16

We're not gonna and we told him that, and that when we told him we wouldn't be a part of it, that infuriated him.

SPEAKER_04 30:22

So we're sitting let's say a couple weeks go by with this medication crap, you know, he's still fighting us and throwing tens of tantrums when my wife says, Okay, it's time for your evening meds. You need to eat something with it. No, I'm not eating. And there was one point that he went what a couple days without food.

SPEAKER_02 30:42

Right. When the doctor, when he OD'd, first he almost killed Faith's service dog.

SPEAKER_04 30:47

And then after Yeah, because he could take that medicine.

SPEAKER_02 30:54

Yeah, uh, he was just dropping stuff and he wouldn't pick it up, and he knew it was there. Yeah, we found pills on the floor and drawers, and they were they he the these pills were for things he didn't have, like seizures and ultraphyclitis and rheumatoid arthritis and all of these other things. So the doctor on the OD experience said you are not allowed to manage your polypharmaceutical anymore. That's what it's called because it's multiple, multiple medicines. Normally, I think it's around 13, is when it falls into a polypharmaceutical category, and that you're not allowed to do it anymore. And so he finally agreed. And I went and got those pill dispensers that has morning, afternoon, evening, and bedtime, right? And I spent hours because he had so many pills. And I went and broke it down, and then I took a piece of paper. You looked them up. Well, I knew most of them, but the ones I had never heard of, I looked up. And then I took a piece of paper and I wrote morning, afternoon, evening, and bedtime on them. And I said, This is how these are to be administered, these are how these to be administered, these have to be with water, these have to be with food, you know, blah, blah, blah. And then they were all written out on them. And then I wrote them on the bottles too, and then I put them in the dividers, right? So when it came time to give him his meds, I'm like, You've got to have some water. You can't lay down for 30 minutes. It's a choking episode, right? And he was like, I'm gonna do what I want. Well, we left and went to go get breakfast, and he put on the biggest scene at that restaurant. Like, you remember he he was like, everybody was staring at him. He was like acting like a two-year-old child. I want my pain meds, I want them now. Like he is yelling. And I said, All you have to do is eat a piece of toast. Just I don't know how many, how many times did I ask him, just have a piece of toast? Right. You know, eight to ten times at least. And and he was like, No, I'm not effing eating any effing toast. And I was like, just eat one piece of toast, right? You have to eat with this medicine, it's gonna make you sick. I don't care. Like, we had Zofran to give him in case he got sick and nauseous, and and he was just irate, everybody was staring, you know, and I was like, all you have to do is eat a piece of toast, just have a little something on your stomach and here, no. So he was trying to act like a toddler or sometimes like a teenager, if you will, and he didn't eat for the whole day. And then the next day he took a couple of bites out of a fruit bowl. Now, Michael and I went to extreme, like we went and got him boost, we got him the electrolyte packets that you put in water so that you can keep hydrated because he was not hydrating at all, right? So we did that. And then the next day he wouldn't eat. And the only thing we asked of him was to be a part of the family. I wanted him to mend his relationship with his son, and I wanted him to be the grandfather he promised he would be for faith. That's it. And I said, Would we have dinner every night at our kitchen table or dining room table? And when we do, there's no electronics. And we sit as a family, and I want you at that table every day. And he promised me he would. And I even did something that I never in my life thought I would do. And if my sperm donor is hearing this, I'm telling you right now that he's gonna drop his shit. I had created, long story short, a beautiful painting of my grandparents, who everybody knows was my heart and soul, and my daughter and I. And that was my family before my husband came back in the picture. When my husband and I got married, I gave him, and this was professionally done. This was a professional painter who did this. And when Michael got back in the picture, I had it edited and I did a whole new one with a new background with Michael in the picture. And he cried when he got it, and it meant the world, and we have both up.

SPEAKER_04 34:42

There was a lot of pollen.

SPEAKER_02 34:43

Shut up. So we put that up as well. They're both up. Well, I went a step further because his dad made all these broken promises and everything else, and I added him into that photo thinking that it would really mean something to him because the stories he told, how everybody abandoned him and how hurt he was by everybody else. I wanted him to know he finally had a family, right? And I put him in it, and I'm so angry that I did that now. It's whatever. So he would put throw a 10 for tantrum, and I had to go to the doctor, and the doctor agreed to see him and said, I'm gonna do a Zoom call with him today. Like, this is enough. So I come home and I'm like, Okay, he's gonna you're gonna talk to the doctor today, and he wants all the medication, and you're sitting there when he does it, and he's like, I want you to, and we're on a telehealth call, and he goes, I want to see every pill bottle you're on. And this is the first time that we really got an inside look, what was in the case that we thought the states, right? But there were three, and I only knew of two at this time. At this point, I only knew of two. And I'm looking, and I said in front of the doctor on telehealth, why do you have your wife's prescription bottles? You know, and he said, Well, because I'm taking them. Why are you taking her medication? Because I can. That's that was always his answer, because I can. And so the doctor was like, Nope, nope, mm-mm, nope, not doing this. We're not taking that, we're not doing this. You're coming in. And he was like, When you come in, I want Victoria to bring every bottle in that house that you're taking from, right? And I was like, Oh god. So Michael says to him, Give me all of the bottles. And we think that he did, but he did not. He absolutely did not. So this is when this is ongoing more and more. And we'll step back to the other side of this. We're kind of just giving you the medical side of it right now. So, and what's ironic and just confusing to me is every time he had an appointment, he wanted me in the room with him. Not like, here, I'll take you and I'll sit out in the waiting room. He wanted me physically in the room, even during his, you know, when they're like checking him for everything. And I'm like, no, I'll step out. And he's like, No, no, no, it's fine. You can stay right here. No, it's fine. And I'm like, no, they're gonna, you know, examine you all. No, no, no, stay. I want you in here so you could be a part of this. And I'm like, what did I do to you? I don't want to see you naked. But so we go to that doctor's appointment, and this is, you know, right close to mid-January, and I bring in all of these pills. There are so many pill bottles, right? And this doctor, like, here I am again, another surgery. I had a back, I had a spinal infection when all this was going on. And I bring him in there, and this doctor had said to him, I don't know, at least two or three times, and put it in the medical record, she cannot continue to take care of you. She's also taking care of her daughter and take care of herself. You need to step up and do some of this on your own. And and that was never a question. He wasn't gonna do it. So we were in that appointment. I can't even tell you how long. And what is unheard of from a medical doctor is he went through and I had one of those, what do you call like? I guess if you go to the grocery store and you could buy those plastic, not the plastic bag they put the groceries in, but the reusable ones, full. I mean, it was three-fourths to the top full of bottles. And he sat on the exam table, his dad sat in his chair, and I sat on the other side of the exam table, and they were all there. And on the windowsill of right beside the exam table, he starts going through and saying, Nope, you don't need this, nope, you don't need this, and he starts putting them on the ledge of the windowsill. And he says, Why are you taking why is there like multiple pills bottles for seizure medication when you don't have seizures? And he was like, I don't know. And everything he's saying contradicts every doctor's record and history and doctor's finding. Everything he's saying totally contradicts. Like he said, I'm not on Gabapentin. Gabapentin was found not only in his blood work, but he stated in the OD once he got back to baseline that he did take GABAPent, and that was not even 10 days prior. And at this point, he had now had two additional, was it two more drug tests, I think?

SPEAKER_04 39:12

And no, at least one.

SPEAKER_02 39:14

He had the piss test.

unknown 39:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:16

Oh, and then that day they did the swab test. And both times showed up for opioids. Right. That he said he wasn't on.

SPEAKER_04 39:26

So let me interject here. Y'all, y'all, we're we're still at the point that this is dad, okay? Not for me. All right. But we're we're finding out all these lies, okay? And you know, he's he's 78 years old. Something like that. Uh he's still he's still very smart. He is he went to college up until he was in his 70s, you know, because the government paid him.

SPEAKER_02 39:52

And that's why he went. He stated now that's why he went was to get the government funded.

SPEAKER_04 39:56

Right. So we we try to give him the respect due a parent, you know, but you know, when when all these things started flaring up, the the tantrums, you know, not getting the medication, you know, taking things away from him, you know, all the medications that that didn't belong to him, that that you know were his deceased ex-wife's.

SPEAKER_02 40:18

Well, we were still thinking wife at the wife, right?

SPEAKER_04 40:21

So, spoiler alert They weren't married. They had been divorced like 19 years. So many years. Yeah. But prior to her death. But every piece of paper is my wife, I have my wife.

SPEAKER_02 40:34

Right. And we found the divorce decree. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 40:36

So But in fairness, we didn't treat him like a two-year-old. No. We didn't treat him like a toddler. We didn't do anything abnormal. We treated with the utmost respect until we started finding these lies.

SPEAKER_02 40:48

And even when we did find the lies, we still respected and treated him right. Like we just were not gonna be a party of illegal activity.

SPEAKER_05 40:54

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 40:54

And we made that very clear, which made him more irate. But it was really that day. If somebody asked me what day was it that really took it over the top, was that day that the doctor literally said, I'm taking all these bottles and I'm discarding them here.

SPEAKER_04 41:09

That's that's what I believe.

SPEAKER_02 41:10

And that you will not be taking him home. And at that point, his whole disposition and demeanor changed even worse because he had them and we didn't even have access to them. And then now here's the doctor who physically took them in front of him and took them out of the room and said, I am discarding all of these. Like his hand, his both of his arms were full of bottles, like full. And I if I'm guessing, I would say there was probably 20 to 30 bottles minimum, if I'm guessing, that he picked up on his own and took out of the room. He says, You're not using these, you're not supposed to be taking these, I'm taking them out. And he was irate. And he said, She didn't do this, I did this, talking about the doctor. And he was like, you know, I told her to bring these in. She's doing what she needs to to keep you safe and healthy. I'm the one removing these because you shouldn't be taking these. And it was at that point that everything got 10 times darker with him.

SPEAKER_04 42:07

We see that it is so hard as if you're if you're a pill popper, if you're abusing drugs like that, to realize that Victoria and Michael are just trying to help you.

SPEAKER_02 42:20

He knew, he admitted he knew we were, but he wasn't used to having someone help him. Right. But also he was furious because he kept trying, and right now we're only going over the medical, but he was trying so hard to convince us to do illegal stuff, and we from day one said absolutely not, which kept him from a ton of money. A ton.

SPEAKER_04 42:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:43

So what happened that night?

SPEAKER_04 42:44

Let's see. I don't know. Fast forward a little bit, let's skip this medical stuff.

SPEAKER_02 42:47

So we are having dinner, he refuses to eat night or it was the next night. A few days later. It was the next night.

SPEAKER_04 42:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 42:55

And we're having dinner, and he we asked him, and he and he just absolutely reeks. Yeah. Because he would go seven to ten days at a time, and my husband would beg him, you really need a shower. You really stink. He would sit in the same clothes for seven to ten days. He would not change, he would urinate on himself. We got him those undergarments that you can put on. We got him man pads to put in his underwear.

SPEAKER_04 43:21

Dude wipes.

SPEAKER_02 43:22

Yeah, we got him the dude wipes, so he could just wipe off on the days he didn't want to shower. But A, he's a heavier guy. I even asked why he was impatient one day if they could give him some nystatin to help between the folds. And I'm not trying to be rude or critical, but in the folds, and he's not bathing and it's nasty outside and he's all sweaty, it could help prevent rashes and irritation. And they gave him that. And I picked it up for him at the pharmacy. And I was like, just put this, you know, in the areas and it'll it'll help. But the smell was so god awful that it made you nauseous. And he he was urinating in our furniture.

SPEAKER_04 44:01

But it was his chair he bought.

SPEAKER_02 44:02

No, the chair was the chair I gave you for Father's Day.

SPEAKER_04 44:05

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 44:06

No, no, no, no, no. That was your recliner that I got you. And then the dining room table, that a chair that we had to change because he couldn't sit at our other ones. He done the same in that one. And the bed and everything else we bought. Anyway, so that was the night. He comes to the table and he shocks us by saying.

SPEAKER_04 44:28

Oh, you want me to put that in?

SPEAKER_02 44:29

That's your sperm donor.

SPEAKER_04 44:32

Well, y'all, he's still he's still dead at this point, right? To you. Now, at the dinner table, we talk. We we we're family, we talk. We you know, hey, what's going on? How do you feel? Hey, did you see this? Did you hear about that? Whatever. Casual conversation. During our our conversation, my wife asks some questions. Thank you.

Suicide Talk And A Loaded Gun

SPEAKER_03 44:57

My wife is asking some questions, and he confesses I feel like I'm in a very dark place. We question him further. Dad, have you thought about suicide? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:22

So I get up from the table and I go over to his recliner. Oh and Mary Springer ain't got nothing. In his recliner, in the side pocket, was a loaded 38. Was it was a 38 pistol. Okay. Now my dad, my dad, it's still my dad at this time. Has was a cop for many, many years. And he's had multiple guns. He's won I don't know two or three hundred trophies from shooting. So it's understandable, you know, that we still have guns. Except at his age. Okay. Our firearms that my wife and I have and carry are locked up in the uh the vault, the safe.

SPEAKER_02 46:18

In multiple safes throughout the house.

SPEAKER_04 46:20

Now, when my dad when my dad said these words, I removed that firearm from him. That was the one I knew about.

SPEAKER_00 46:28

That's the only one we knew about, and you had already unloaded it.

SPEAKER_04 46:31

I had unloaded it a few days before.

SPEAKER_02 46:34

And I didn't know about this. And my husband and I don't keep secrets. Why didn't you ever tell me about it when you found it? Because I didn't know about it.

SPEAKER_04 46:42

I think I was looking for the remote.

SPEAKER_02 46:44

Okay, but you never told me you had found that.

SPEAKER_04 46:46

Well, you're right. I didn't.

SPEAKER_02 46:50

And I don't know why you didn't.

SPEAKER_04 46:51

I my wife was upset with me because I didn't.

SPEAKER_02 46:54

No, I wasn't upset with you. I was wondering. I wasn't upset. I was just curious.

SPEAKER_04 46:58

Well, I didn't apologize.

SPEAKER_02 46:59

Yeah. No, because we asked him when he came here with up here, are you bringing firearms? Because we keep ours locked up. You know, we still have our daughter, we have dogs, you know. I want to know. And he said no. He said no. The gun that I knew of, he said he had given to his wife's son. Right? That's what he had stated to me. So go ahead, sorry.

SPEAKER_04 47:31

Yeah, so we took the gun away, and I I was absolutely floored when he when he said those words about suicide. And I made a determination to dial 911 and have the paramedics come out and check him out.

SPEAKER_00 47:48

And the sheriff's department came out.

SPEAKER_04 47:50

Okay, so they did. They came and checked him out a couple of sheriff's deputies, a couple of EMS guys. And they they not my wife and I, but they questioned my dad at this time and made a determination to take him to the hospital to get psychiatric treatment. 1013 or evaluation.

SPEAKER_02 48:16

They 1013 him.

SPEAKER_04 48:18

So that's what happened. And he left with the clothes he had on and I think a gold chain necklace. That was it. You know, when you go on suicide watch, they won't let you take in a doggone thing.

SPEAKER_02 48:31

You can't have shoestrings, nothing.

SPEAKER_04 48:33

I was a sheriff's deputy many years, and when you mention those words suicide in the jail, you get everything taken off of you. You're given a thick turtle blanket and a thick mat to sleep on. That's it. You get a handful of toilet paper, but not much. Not enough to choke on. So yeah, he went.

SPEAKER_02 48:56

I went. He asked me to go with him.

SPEAKER_04 48:59

Wife went, and from there it it goes on to several more weeks.

SPEAKER_02 49:06

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_04 49:09

Oh, am I skipping? You are because oh yeah, yeah. Yeah. This is your part.

SPEAKER_02 49:13

Because I stay there with him, he's infuriated. The police tell him, or the sheriffs tell him, and so do the paramedics, that it was their decision because he told them. I was outside with one of the officers. You were inside with him, the officer, and the paramedics. And he told the paramedics that he wanted to kill himself. And so they 1013 him and they explained to him that it wasn't family choice. They couldn't have done it, that the paramedics and law enforcement did. And so it was middle of the night. I have a serious back infection, a spinal infection at this point. Oh, yeah. I am not supposed to be here at the hospital. And I wait till I'm able to go in there and see him. So I go in there and see him, and he is just infuriated. And I told him that they're watching him because it was a camera, right? He was so mad. What?

SPEAKER_04 50:07

Remember to change out infuriated.

SPEAKER_01 50:10

Why?

SPEAKER_04 50:13

Usually a different answer to the fact.

SPEAKER_01 50:15

Why?

SPEAKER_04 50:16

Because keep going. I'm not changing it.

Safe Codes And Hidden Firearms

SPEAKER_02 50:19

You anyway. So I go in there and he was like, Y'all put me here, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then it was like, squirrel, you know what I mean? Because he was like, there's an ant crawling across the floor and it's dancing. And I'm like, what? And so I told them, and they're like, there is no ant, there's no ant. He's like, oh, it's over here on this side. And they're like, no, nope. And he's like, they're not feeding me. They're not doing this. They're not doing that. And they're like, we did feed him. He refused. And I said, I'm aware of how he is like that. So when I had followed and gone up there with them for this, I had brought all of the meds. So because when you're in the hospital, they have to find a doctor and order all your medication. And then they have to wait for pharmacy to fill them. And I wanted to make sure he still got everything he needed. And I even brought the pieces of paper that said, here's the breakdown of when they get them, when he gets them, and here's what he needs to do when he gets them, blah, blah, blah. So he tells everybody he can't walk without his canes and he can't walk without a chair or walker or whatever. He gets up and tells him he has to go pee. And he walks straight to the bathroom like there is nothing. Like he does not use canes, he doesn't use a walker, nothing. And he just walks to the bathroom like it's no tomorrow, like nothing. And they were like, he said he uses canes. And I was like, well, you know, apparently. So I told him that I needed to go back home. It was in the middle of the night. And I would go and check on him the next day. And so the next day, again, I'm up there seeing him and talking to him. And he is, you know, get me out of here. I want to go home. Get me out of here right now. And I told him, I was like, obviously, they think you need to be here because if not, they would have released you. They would have let you go home. But they don't find that you're in the right state of mind to go home at this point. And he starts blaming Michael and I that we put him there and all this. And I said, look, we're going to go back and clean out stuff and go through stuff. I need the combinations to your safes. And he said, Get me out of here and I'll give them to you. And I said, I can't do that. It's not my decision. Well, you're my medical power of attorney. Do it. And I said, I don't want to be your medical power of attorney anymore. I don't want to be your executor on your will. I don't want to be any of it. I'm revoking myself. I'm recusing myself. Blah, blah, blah. And he gives me the code thinking that this was going to be a way to make me happy. So I come home and my husband and I are going through all of the stuff. And we had given him, we had gotten like I actually gave him one of my dressers to put his stuff in. And we turned the whole downstairs into his area until we could get the construction started. So we're going through the drawers and we're finding all of these loose pills that we're trying to figure out what they are. My Michael is finding pill bottles. Where did you find some of them? They were behind like the baker's racks in the kitchen.

SPEAKER_04 53:18

Right. In weird places there.

SPEAKER_02 53:20

And then he is going through stuff and I open another drawer and there's underwear and stuff in there. And I move like behind it and I look and I look at my husband. I said, I'm going to be right back. And he goes, What? And I said, I'm leaving. And he goes, Where are you going? I said, I'm going back up right now. And he goes, babe, it's like nine o'clock at night. I said, I don't care. And I show him that there is another handgun and it's loaded. So I go back to the hospital. I go in there. And when you go in there, you have to relinquish everything. Like you can't go in there with anything. And I give them my purse, I give them my cell phone. I go in there and he's laying down, which he told us he could never lay on his side. And he's in there laying on his side. He told us he couldn't sleep without a CPAP. And he's been all these nights without one. And they told him he's sleeping fine and blah, blah, blah. So I go in there and I'm like, I asked you if there was any more firearms after my husband found that 38 and you said no. And I just found another loaded gun in your drawer. And he just looked at me like, so what? And I said, All we've ever done is try to take care of you. We have not done anything but take care of you. And he was like, so. And he goes, if you wanted to take care of me, y'all would be doing all this other stuff I asked you to do. But you two are two goody two shoes and don't want to get your name mixed in it. And I said, Well, we're not doing it. And I said, You know, you could have killed Faith Service Dog. And he's like, Okay, so what? And he makes the comment, which is so eerie. And my husband heard it because when I came home, I looked at my husband and I said, I am so glad that I did what I did because I wish you could have heard what he had to say. And he said, What are you talking about? And I said, I need you to hear this. So I pull out of my sweatshirt in my sports bra. I had taken another cell phone and I had taken it in there and I had recorded everything he had to say. And I then asked the nurses what medication he was on that could be alterating his mind or his cognitive ability. And they said, none, you know, nothing. And that this is probably the clearest his mind has been. So I let my husband hear it. What did he say about the wife and the cremation that just made everything change?

SPEAKER_04 55:59

The exact words?

SPEAKER_00 56:00

Not the exact words, but you know the principle of it.

SPEAKER_02 56:08

No, I mean that about you can't prove I did anything to her. I mean, he's basically saying that it's questionable what he did to her because he made sure she was cremated so an autopsy couldn't be done.

SPEAKER_00 56:23

And that was shocking.

SPEAKER_04 56:26

Absolutely. To think that that your own father, you know, could have possibly how do you say this?

SPEAKER_02 56:36

Verbally. You need to purge it. And it wasn't just her.

SPEAKER_04 56:41

Well, uh there again, you don't we don't know.

SPEAKER_02 56:43

But what he said on that, and he said it multiple times.

SPEAKER_04 56:47

Yeah, so I mean to think that your your own father could have killed his his wife. Who wasn't the wife? Well, ex-wife. Sure. Even though they've been together 32 years, 33 years, whatever. It's shocking. And then for him to say, I should have taken out life insurance on our daughter.

SPEAKER_02 57:10

Who passed away in her sleep, just like the ex-wife in her sleep. So and she passed when she was like 30, and he said, I should have taken life insurance out on her, I would have made money.

SPEAKER_04 57:26

Yeah, we we you know y'all know that both my wife and I were cops, and we're sitting here putting this stuff together and looking at all this illegal activity. We're not getting our fingers dirty, we're not getting our hands in it, and we're questioning, you know, now dad has become no longer dad. He's now suspect, he's obviously a drug addict, a fraud, he's a fraud, yeah, yeah, two-faced liar. And now, you know, he's gone to be biological father. And to top it off later on, what he said to me just was dicing on the cake.

SPEAKER_00 58:06

You want to say what that was?

SPEAKER_04 58:08

We haven't got that part yet.

SPEAKER_02 58:10

So he gives me the code, and I say to Michael, there's another case somewhere. So what we thought were two little safes, and they're not little, I mean like carry safes, was a third that we found hidden. And we open it up, and there's another loaded gun in there. And I was like, Are you freaking kidding me? Are you serious right now? Like, no, absolutely not. I am beside myself because I'm gonna drop it. I'm gonna drop it. Sorry, I'm gonna drop it. Not only was I very adamant to know that they were he was not bringing any firearms in the house because of the fact that he was older and you know, one thing led to another, but we also learned that he's a convicted felon and he's been in federal prison. So he's not even allowed to have firearms, he's not allowed to have possession of firearms. And this is all stuff that we're learning that was new to us. So with all of that, my husband finds, you know, we find the third firearm, and immediately my husband says, Nope, we got to check on this. And he said, Let's let me do this. And he calls the sheriff's department, gets an officer to respond, and has them run the number, the serial numbers on the weapons, which is ironic because then we find that one of the weapons has been the numbers have been filed off, which in law enforcement they call that a drop gun. And he has a drop gun. He has one without serial numbers on it. And my husband and I now are like, there is no way in God's green creation we would have had this individual in our home with our child had we known this stuff. Never, because that is not what we would have ever done. So we find out they're moving him to a facility because they are adamant that he is not being released, regardless of what he says. And they move him to a facility and we ask how long he's supposed to stay there, and they said between three and five days is like the average time that they remain in this psychiatric inpatient facility. And I call every day, except one. And he is on the phone and he is just the biggest son of a bitch you've ever met. Just, you know, never asks how Faith is, not asking how Michael is. I don't care. He doesn't ask how I am, but you know, I hope y'all are happy. You got me where you want me. And we tried to explain to him that we're not the ones who did this. He, you know, his actions, disposition, demeanor, and whatever he stated got him there, not us. And so we even, you know, were like, do we need to bring a chair for him? Nope, nope. They said, you know, he's like, they're starving me, they're not letting me eat. Well, immediately we call and talk to the charge nurse, and they're like, he just ate two whole plates. He had two Cokes and he had pudding and he had this and he had that. And I'm like, he's saying he's starving. And they're like, he is not starving. So one of the last nights that he's there, Michael is talking to him, and my heart broke for my husband because my husband wanted so badly to build a relationship with him. And he was trying so hard to build a relationship with him, regardless of the fact that we didn't know most of this because he wasn't in his life. But then, you know, this really isn't mine to say. So this is this is yours, babe. You just said nope, it'll be better coming from you. It's helping in your therapy. You gotta purge it out, you gotta let it go.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:03

You didn't probably let it go. Well, he basically said, I don't have a son.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:12

Oh, he actually said, You're dead to me.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:14

You're dead to me, I don't have a son. And I just saw like when when when he said those words, y'all that it's just it's like it it it's it's like the you know, the bridge broke. You know? The door was slammed into your face, it's just it bolted. So it was real it was real tough to hear, but yeah. It we we don't like drama in our life, and this was the biggest trauma drama we have yet.

Disowned, Fired, And Financial Fallout

SPEAKER_02 1:02:47

And my husband felt horrible because he was like, I brought him into our lives, I brought him into our home, and I'm like changed everything. We did everything to help him.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:56

Forget to mention because I spent so much time, my wife and I, with him at the hospitals and doctor visits, oh, that I lost my job.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:04

But here's the part of it. I was having, you know, I'd had multiple spinal surgery, I had a spinal infection, they wanted to put me in the hospital. I said no. I could not carry him. And I was catching him. Like I was working on him when the ambulances would arrive. You know, I'm getting him to breathe, and I'm when he OD'd and, you know, and I'm doing his vitals and I'm doing this. If he stood up and started to fall, at one point I caught him and it hurt me. It injured me physically because he's 330 pounds and I'm one-armed and I'm trying to catch him. And so when we would go to the doctor, Michael had to go with us because I couldn't carry out the motorized electric chair. I couldn't lift it out of the back, right, and put it down and help him.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:49

That thing is 70 pounds.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:51

Well, and not just that, but you have to lift it up, right? And on my left, I'm not allowed to lift more than 10 pounds on my shoulder, and I don't have an arm in hand. And so I'm trying to do this one-handed, which I did a couple of times and it was excruciating. And trying to like manipulate this chair in and out of the vehicle, which we haven't even talked about the vehicles, but like dealing with all of this, Michael had to go, and he was fired because of this. And so this sperm donor too was dipping and dappling in things he shouldn't have been, and we didn't know about until after all of this. And he was like, Look, I can't spend all the money I make in a month. And what I'll do is I will cover your mortgage as my rent and I will pay for that. And then the money that I bring in personally that I bring in, you know, also helps offset. But he's like, I'll cover that. And then he told my husband, I don't want you to go get another job. I want you here. You can help take care of me, you can help me at my appointments, and we can work on our relationship, right? Because my husband's worked every single day I've ever known him. Even when we weren't speaking in a relationship, we were still friends. He still always worked, always, if not one job, if not two or three. And he was like, I can't ask my wife to handle all this. There's no way she can physically do it. So my husband lost his job. And I don't know how much more. There's so much more we haven't disclosed that we lost out of trying to help him. I had a car I'd had at this point for years, and I loved it, and it was reliable, and it didn't even have any miles on it. Like it was so low mileage. It was so low mileage. It hadn't, I think it just hit 40,000 miles. And he had stated that because he's so big, he couldn't get in and out of it. It was very challenging for him to get in and out of. He couldn't get in out of it anymore. And when he was in it, his knees were like up to his chest. So he wanted to go get another vehicle, and that was the end of that. So we Go to look and I'm like, I like mine. And I mean, eventually years from now, we were looking at getting something else, but we weren't looking at it at the moment. And he we go to the dealership and he was like, This is what I want.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:12

This is just prior to him going into the site.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:15

Right. He says, This is the vehicle I want, but you pick out the model and the color you want, right? As long as it's this one that I can get in and out of, that's what I want. Anything else is yours to pick. And I was like, No, I don't want you, you know, and he's like, Nope, let's do it. So we get it, and in front of everybody, he says, Merry Christmas. This is my Christmas present to you. I'm buying this for you. And everybody's mouth just kind of was like, What? They were just, you know, stunned. Because we would definitely, after my husband losing his job, would absolutely not have gone and bought a vehicle, a new vehicle, yet alone one of this caliber that's this expensive. I mean, this was an insatiably expensive vehicle at that point in time, especially with him not working.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:12

So having not worked, my my truck that I had was repossessed.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:19

Because of all of this with him.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:20

Because I I had no job. So he said, Let's go back to the dealership, and he bought another truck in his name only and said, Here, son, this is your Christmas present. Right. Which was it was after Christmas. But regardless. So Yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:40

And he told you you needed a truck. And he was like, No, you need a truck. And he was like, No, Dad, no. And we did not ask him for these vehicles.

Professionals Warn He Is Dangerous

SPEAKER_04 1:07:47

So one one thing that was mentioned while he was in the psych hospital there, right about I I guess about the two-week mark, we get a phone call from one of the social workers, I believe it was. Yes. And she described him in in her words, he is a very dangerous man. And she said that multiple times. Because of the games that he was playing with the verbiage that he used about everything. Yeah. Say, you know, saying that we were treating him correctly and that we withheld his medication.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:22

And there's all the documents from all the doctors that showed different. And not only that, babe, but you know, he was saying we withheld his medicine, but all of the doctors were constantly doing blood work and they were checking his levels, and it showed that he was getting his medication. So that was a wash. And when they saw those records, they were like, What? Because originally we got the phone call from the social worker, and they were like, Why doesn't he have a driver's license? Why why doesn't he have his wallet? Why doesn't you know? And I'm like, What do you know? And she was she was as nice as she could be, and she was like, Well, I know he had just gotten out of the hospital, and when he was being released from the medical or the mental ward, he was told he couldn't live alone. So he made this BS up that he was going to stay with a friend, but we learned that he wasn't gonna go stay with a friend. His friend was putting him up in a hotel. And so when this lady calls and says, you know, he said that you're withholding his wallet, you're withholding his driver's license, you're withholding all this. My husband and I were on the phone together with her and we're like, ma'am, I don't think you know the story. And she was like, Okay, well, tell me the story. And we went through it. And my husband said, He just got out of a mental institution. And she goes, Well, then that makes sense because you aren't given any of your stuff. You're not allowed to have even a driver's license or a wallet or anything while you're in a mental institution. They don't let you even keep a coat because of you know the drawstrings on it, or you know, you have to wear like flip-flop shoes or whatever. Everything is very specific that you are allowed to have and not have. And she goes, Well, he never said he was in a mental institution. And we give him the names of where he was, and we went through and said all that. And she was like, That totally makes sense because everything he was saying didn't make sense. And she was like, He's an incredibly dangerous individual. And I was like, We haven't hidden any of his stuff. And I said, not only that, but we did I did a letter of abandonment of property and sent it to where we thought he was. And also I immediately, once he was 10, 13, I also sent a certified letter saying that I removed myself as his power of attorney and I removed myself as the executor of everything. And I told her that I did that on my own accord before anything having to do with him because I didn't want any more involvement in this. And she said, Oh, he said that he is in the hospital because he was sick. He didn't say he was in a mental institution because now he's at a totally different place and everything has changed and his stories don't add up. And they she just kept saying he is very, very dangerous. And I said, I'm happy for him to have his his wallet and his IDs. We haven't touched any of his stuff. You know, he has multiple properties, and that's also a question of legality at this point. But all of the payments that have come for those are sitting in envelopes that are sealed. We never even opened any of them. They're all just sitting in a pile. Now here we are with very limited income coming in. My husband's truck was repossessed, and he's left everything behind. And he has the audacity. He won't talk to us. He's going through third person saying, Send my stuff to me. And I was like, Are you crazy? He can have somebody come get it. How are we gonna afford to send anything five hours away? And we already have all of his stuff boxed up, but we gave him over 60 days, and he never ever he sent us numerous times. He didn't want anything, he only wanted his driver's license. Well, we'll send it to him. And the social worker said he doesn't she he doesn't want y'all to know where he is, he doesn't want anybody to know where he is. He wants none of his family, nobody anywhere. But he kept just saying how dangerous he was, how dangerous he was. And it it's every time he made a story up, everything contradicted it. There was just so much contradiction everywhere, and it took such a toll because all we tried to do was do what's right, but we were not gonna partake in a legal activity that there was so much of. And when his what we thought wife, now ex-wife, passed away, he wanted me to probate the will. And when we started, Michael and I started getting like little flags of caution. I never probated it. I wasn't, and I said, I'm gonna uh advise the court that I want to be recused from it because I'm not having anything to do with it. Well, there were two copies of the will, and one of them he lost before he moved, and the other one he told us that he lost, and y'all even made another trip down four and a half hours away to go look for it, and the whole time it was sitting in his notebook, he carried around with him everywhere. And so now we don't know where it is, and he wanted everything to go to him. He his exact words, I don't want those assholes to get anything. Meaning her kids, anybody on her side of the family, and so he wanted it all for him, and he was doing illegal activity in order to make that happen. And when Michael and I wouldn't authenticate it or partake in it, that's another reason that this went over and beyond.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:57

So drawn to a conclusion here in this epic story, yeah, this long episode. I I wish from you know, even though you know he he was family, he was family. I wish we had got a contract or written agreement upon living here.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:15

No, something Georgia recognizes a verbal agreement, like he was he stated he was gonna pay, right.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:21

I wish we could have recorded it, you know.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:23

We do have it recorded, but we have to take him to court, and that's just not what we're doing.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:28

And I don't know if every state is the same, y'all check your state wherever you live it in, if you can record without the other person's knowledge.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:35

In the state of Georgia, only one party has to be in agreement, and since we hit record, we know, and we had started to record him multiple times because of all of the shady lies and games and manipulation that we were seeing. I mean, he was trying to get faith involved in it, and absolutely not. No.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:56

So now I have a biological sperm donor.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:02

He could be SPD S D2, sperm donor tear.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:08

Yep. So once again here at a contagious mile.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:14

We live this crap.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:16

The black sheep, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:15:17

We live this crap, and it's because we wouldn't partake in this crap that this all happened.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:23

No, it's it's it's it's so much. This out of all the properties that he owned, or so much of his own. And you've done a probate for years.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:35

But and that's just not it. When we were at the house and his wife's son was also there helping, all of us looked at each other with puzzlement, going, oh my god, because even the office was in such disarray. Like we were finding legal papers and funion boxes, right? Like that's where legal papers were. They were everywhere. So he was like, Oh, bring that, don't worry about that, don't worry about that, throw that away, throw that away, throw that away. And it took, I don't even know, it was like a full-time job for like a month. We would sit at the table, clean off the island in the kitchen, and separate everything by property, trying to learn and figure out and then reverse it backwards as to the rights and the wrongs of it. And he was furious. Don't worry about all that. Let's just, you know, quit claim. Let's do quick claim deeds. And we're like, no, we're not doing it. We need to know from inception what's right and not. And that infuriated him. And the papers were everywhere. And so that was, you know, another issue. And he just kept pushing and pushing and pushing about let's get everything only, you know, into his name or my husband's name, or you know, whatever the case may be. And and everybody who's dealt with him on the outside, the social workers, the therapist, the psychiatrist, the psychologist, they were all like, he is deceitful, he is deceiving, he's manipulative, he is, I mean, dangerous. Like they said multiple times, he is dangerous.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:08

Social workers said that.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:10

Mm-hmm. And a case worker.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:12

Yeah. So yeah. Well, that's that's our story. That's what we've been living since so he is not here anymore. September. Yeah. Up till what? First.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:25

Well, last week was when we got the case manager to that spoke with us about all of this, too. Right. And they're like, there's Medicaid fraud, there's VA fraud, there's all sorts of other stuff. He's a convicted felon. I mean, seriously. Tax evasion, tax fraud, real estate fraud, properties, like just and you wouldn't have known because you weren't in the picture. And then you could not, I'm telling you, say to me, you know, and I don't care how many doctors, you know, would have said to me, you know, because doctors have said to us we could keep her comfortable and let her go. And I went, bananas. But I never would have, nor have I ever said, let's take out life insurance on Faith. Like, are you crazy? And for him to say, I should have taken out life insurance on her, and then to say that, and his words were when he first called my husband, I finally got rid of her. And then when all this is happening right at the end, he makes the comment, you can't prove what I did to her because I had her cremated. And then we're thinking more and more about the sister, who is Michael's sister or half-sister, who was so nice. I mean, her and I got along beautifully, she was super, super sweet. She at first we saw her, like we went down and saw her in the casket at the viewing. And then the second sperm donor, his former dad, decided to cremate her. And so the casket was already paid for, the burial pot was paid for, all of that. I don't know what they did with any of that, but then he cremates her, and then he makes the statement to us you can't prove anything because there's nobody to do an autopsy on, there's no proof anymore. And then we're both sitting there one night and we're talking, and we're like, they both passed basically in their sleep. Right? I mean, that's a little crazy. And he openly stated, you can't prove it, which who would say that? Number one. And number two, to have his daughter that he adopted, and he was like, Here's the viewing of her. And then he must have gotten nervous because he went from here's the viewing, here's her casket. They were gonna bury her like in two days after the viewing to go and cremate her, which is additional costs. And then all of a sudden, like when we were cleaning the house, we took everything up to him. What do you want to do with this? What do you want to get rid of it? I don't care. Throw it away, throw it away. I don't want it, I don't want it. Like the ashes of his adopted daughter, I don't want him, throw them in the trash. And I'm like, I'm not throwing them in the trash. I can't do that. That's awful. He did not want the he didn't want that, he didn't want the ex-wife. He was like, just get rid of it. I don't care. I don't want any of it. Like he, I was like, Well, here's a bunch of pictures. Do you want any of the pictures? Nope. He wanted none of the memory, none of the nothing. You know, I mean, that's just it's very, very fishy all the way around. And it has been such a nightmare and so much stress. And I feel so bad for my husband because I know he did this with the purest intentions of trying to have a relationship with him that he never had before. And he was walked all over and taken advantage of. He lost his job. And I don't want my husband to feel like he wasn't able to provide for his family here because he was trying to take care of his dad. And it it's just it's dumbfounding how you know, so much you hear about narcissism is like at our age level, right? Like, you know, our exes and everybody else at our age. But to know that like we're talking about parents in the 70s and 80s are also that way. And before we go, because it was such a sweet thing, and see, people can heal, and even men who've gone through this can heal. I want to thank my husband for being so, you know, vulnerable and open and to talk about all this. But you made a comment also about oh, sorry, it was my file cabinet, how your second wife was so, you know, different and manipulative in the games that she played with you, and how we're not that way, we're just so open with each other and trusting with each other and honest. And even though we playfully banter with one another, but this does happen to men. And we are here to help as well. And the fact that this is an older person who has been evading the law since he got out of federal prison. I mean, he he said he owes almost six figures in back, it's probably six figures now in back taxes, and this has been going on forever. I mean, that's insane, that's crazy. That's crazy. And I I love our small little tiny family of, you know, seven. I I do because there is not that many people anymore that you can say you can trust unconditionally and wholeheartedly. And, you know, we never asked him for anything but to be a part of the family, to be front and center. And now he knows he left us high and dry in every way. We gutted our home. You lost your job, your car, your truck was taken, and he's, you know, doesn't even care. His stuff is here. He tells us, you know, we're all dead to him, and he and he and he disowned everybody else in the family. You know, he has another son he disowned, and he hates everybody. And he called his wife, ex-wife's children all, you know, assholes and hates every one of them too, and tried to put them in prison. And it's just why is it my question to leave with everybody today is why is it it's all about money? Because at the end of the day, this is all about money. It was all about money for your sperm donor, and it's all about money for my sperm donor.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:34

Money and drugs.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:35

Okay, well, my sperm donor didn't do drugs, he did women.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:38

But it's an addiction, but still, why to let y'all know Victoria, myself, and Faith and our our two studs and our two new girls. We have four golden retrievers now. We're all fine, we're all safe. We're we're happy, okay? We're broke as a joke, and we're happy. Almost. We'll still have to deal with some of the the legality of it, but yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:10

But it could have gotten so much worse had we ever out of our home.

Red Flags, Boundaries, And How To Help

SPEAKER_04 1:24:13

So we're we're good, y'all. Don't worry about us.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:16

Yeah, but you know, if you ever get that gut feeling to not participate in something in an activity of sort, like we kept saying no, there's something more to this, and get a second pair of eyes. Right. That's what you and I did. It's you know, we looked at each other's stuff over and over again and and edited each other's work because we were breaking it down per property, per everything. And and this individual just kept trying to push us and push us, you know, just do it, just do it. Let's go to the courthouse, let's go to court and get this done. And da-da-da-da. And we're like, no, not until, you know, and you warned him that I was methodical and you were, and we were gonna get it together, and you know, and we kept finding inconsistencies like of a dead person's uh signature on things when he had been deceased for years. Like there's things that just weren't adding up, and we weren't gonna put our names on it. So if you have those feelings, you know, don't be afraid to make somebody mad because here's the thing they shouldn't be asking you to do illegal activity. Don't be afraid to make them mad because if they really loved you, they wouldn't try to bring you into it to begin with. And I'm so sorry that this was an extra long podcast, but you know, it's been a long time coming. He needed to vent and talk about this. I'm so super proud of him for doing it because he really did need to talk about it. And, you know, we're trying to keep a contagious smile up and on afloat because especially now without that extra income, we are pinching pennies to say the least. If you go, you can look at Etsy on a contagious smile store. You can also go to victoriacure.com and look under shop and see that we have these gorgeous keychains that we can personalize your pet on as well. And I will get these bracelets up and rings on there as well so you can see my husband's making phenomenally beautiful jewelry, and that money is gonna help us keep afloat if we hopefully, because we don't want to stop helping people. So please just how about you stop for not have one extra cup of coffee today and go to victoriacuree.com and buy me a coffee or you know, buy a bracelet, buy a ring, buy a keychain, and and help us help others because we're now over 570-ish scholarships. We're still giving scholarships to help other people while we're still trying to help ourselves. So it's all about unconditional love, it's about helping other people, and it's just about being your authentic self. And I just want to again thank my husband so much for his true authentic authentic I can't speak right now ability to come on and and tell what really happened.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:48

And for the young man at the grocery store who met me today. Good job, buddy. I'll see you again. Thank y'all for listening to I can't tell you just smile. Did I just stutter there? You you did? Smile. Unstoppable. Bye y'all. Bye.