You Can Stop Giving Your Happiness Away

He told his wife they’d be homeless and had lost everything. She smiled. That single reaction flips the entire story, and it’s where our conversation with Anil Gupta begins: not with hype about success, but with what it takes to come back from the edge when your own mind keeps repeating “I’m a failure.” Anil walks us through the 2008 stock market collapse that shattered his finances and identity, and the moment love and perspective stopped the spiral long enough for a new life to start. 

We get intensely practical about mindset, resilience, and emotional tools that work under pressure. We talk forgiveness as a real pathway to freedom, how to stop “giving your happiness away” to everyday triggers, and why the goal isn’t chasing happiness but building fulfilment from the inside. Anil shares his “orange squeeze” question, a simple way to check what you’re holding internally, plus a reframing practice that can change how you respond to your kids, your partner, and your own past. 

Anil also breaks down his 3G Happiness Formula (Give, Gratitude, Grow) and proves it with a raw story about a sudden injury that tanked his “happiness score” and how he rebuilt it in minutes. We round out with his three-way test for relationships (integrity, loving behaviour, and overall health), guidance for people leaving violent situations, and a short but powerful story about meeting the Dalai Lama and choosing to be the light instead of fighting darkness. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs a reset, and leave a review with the one tool you’re going to try first.

Transcript

Why Anil’s Story Matters

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Good afternoon and welcome back to another episode of Unstoppable with a contagious smile. I'm here with someone, I just can't even wait to get into this. He's not here because of his success. He's here because he survived something that most people don't even feel comfortable talking about. I'm sitting down with an Al Gupta. He is noble, he's known globally as the love doctor, and I'm still tickled about what I asked and what we can't talk about. And he just almost made me fall out of my chair. In 2008, he reached a point where no life felt livable for him. It came after what was not recovery, but a complete rebuilding of how he understands his happiness, relationships, and purpose. Since then, he has taken that lived experience onto global stages, into rooms with leaders like Richard Branson, and I cannot wait to ask him about the Dalai Lama and into the lives of thousands of people searching for something real. This is not just about motivation, it's about what it actually takes to come back from the edge and build a life that's worth staying for. Thank you so much, Anil, for being here today. I cannot wait to have this conversation with you.

SPEAKER_00 1:11

I'm so happy to be on the call and thank you for inviting me. The listeners and the viewers are going to get magical, magical content, practical content, practical tools, methodologies that will be immediate today in minutes. If they implement it, the results will be in minutes.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

I love that. Now, when we get into your story, they're going to hear your transformation. They won't hear what it was like from inside your mind because that didn't change.

The Thoughts That Wouldn’t Stop

SPEAKER_01 1:41

But what was the loudest thought that you couldn't escape back in 2008?

SPEAKER_00 1:47

Well that I'm a failure. My family would be better off without me.

SPEAKER_01 1:57

All sorts of there was not one, but a plethora of many things banging on my head.

SPEAKER_00 2:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:05

You were just below.

SPEAKER_00 2:06

None of them good, by the way.

SPEAKER_01 2:07

Right, right. So kind of tell us why you were having these thoughts. What happened to make you get to that dark place?

Losing Everything In 2008

SPEAKER_00 2:15

So basically, I was gambling on the stock market. I really didn't know what I was doing. I was leveraging my positions and losing, losing, losing until finally I lost everything. It was November 2008. It was a Friday evening.

SPEAKER_01 2:31

Okay. And then what happened after that? What happened later on that Friday evening?

SPEAKER_00 2:37

So I went up to my bedroom and my wife was there and I said, Honey, something really bad has happened. And she said, What's going on? I said, Honey, I've lost everything. The house, the cars, the uh school funds, everything. We're gonna be homeless. And you know what she did? She smiled at me. I thought, did you hear what I said? She said, Honey, I heard what she said. I thought it was something serious. And I thought, what do you mean? There's nothing more serious than this. She said, Honey, I thought you had cancer. I thought you were dying. You were behaving so strangely. I don't care about the money. What a good I was shocked. Oh my goodness, I was shocked. Then she said this, you made one big mistake, and I thought, here we go, here we go. Said, honey, you still have me, we still have the kids. We'll sleep in the streets as long as we're with you.

SPEAKER_01 3:33

What a good woman.

SPEAKER_00 3:35

Oh my goodness. And everything changed from there.

SPEAKER_01 3:38

Now, did she know you were dabbling with the stock market, or did she have any idea? She did. So it didn't just come out of left field to her.

SPEAKER_00 3:46

No, no. I mean, she saw me trading and you know, have moody moments, blah blah blah, blah, blah, blah.

SPEAKER_01 3:52

Yeah. So then tell me what happened

The Smile That Changed Everything

SPEAKER_01 3:55

after this resilient, amazing light said this to you.

SPEAKER_00 4:00

A huge wave of relief came across me and she said, Honey, just go to sleep. I'll drive home. And then a friend of mine said, Why don't you do an event? I said, Well, I'm not sure. He said, And you know, what are you not sure about? I said, What if no one turns up? And he said, If no one turns up, no one will know. I thought, oh, I can do that because I was so concerned what other people thought of me. And my wife said, What do you love to do? I said, I love to coach. So well, just go coach, do what you love. Yeah. So I started doing events, five people, six people, ten, twenty, fifty, hundred, five hundred, eventually ten thousand people. I wrote a bestseller book, TEDx, Fox News, Sky TV, ABC, NBC, iHeartRadio, you know, Harvard. But this is to impress people on your ability. There's so much greatness inside of you.

SPEAKER_02 4:49

Right.

SPEAKER_00 4:49

You don't have to wait for a big adversity to hit you. Ask yourself, what's the greatness? What is it that I can do so easily that other people find hard to do? And just go do that.

SPEAKER_01 5:01

So tell us about your first event. Were you nervous going out there? Were you butterflies in your stomach, or were you like, there's my light? Like, she'll sleep with me on the street. What validation of your love is that? I mean, that's just that's not something you find much anymore.

SPEAKER_00 5:19

Yeah, really. So, my first event, I didn't know what I was doing. So I paid someone to do it with me.

SPEAKER_02 5:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

And you know, we have five people. He was good with structure. I'm not good with structure. So he he laid everything out. Second event, I asked him to come back. And the night before he said to me, I I want more money. I thought, that's not really a nice thing to do.

SPEAKER_02 5:46

Right.

SPEAKER_00 5:47

And my wife said, Honey, the people who are coming to your event are coming for you, they're not coming from him. Really? Said, yeah, they they don't listen to him, they listen to you. You're the one who does the interventions, you're the one who's got the unique content. I said, Oh. So I thought I just I don't want to mess this up. So I paid him.

Turning Shame Into A First Event

SPEAKER_00 6:10

And that's the last time I saw him on my stage ever again. And from there it just blossomed.

SPEAKER_01 6:17

So tell me about this knowledge that you were

Forgiveness As A Path To Freedom

SPEAKER_01 6:20

giving out to these people on stage. What were you teaching them that they were having such a hard time doing that comes so naturally from you?

SPEAKER_00 6:27

It's it's really overcoming adversity. They didn't have the tools. One of the biggest things I do with people is forgiveness. Forgiveness is the expressed pathway to freedom. The quality of your life is dependent upon the depth and authenticity of the forgiveness you extend to yourself and to others. So I would do interventions with people who would forgive their parents, their mothers, their brothers, their sisters, their business partners, their kids. And it was like a huge weight coming off, and all of a sudden, their lives changed. And it's a beautiful thing to see. It's such a beautiful thing to see.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

And I have to tell you, we have so much in common because, you know, I have this beautiful blessing of working and talking and helping survivors of all types of abuse. And I went through horrific domestic violence myself. And I tell everybody you have one heart. And I'm looking at you in your heart, shirt, and you have one heart, and you can fill that with love and happiness and laughter and joy, or you can fill it with animosity and hate and distaste and belittling and loathing. And it weighs you down, not the other people. It weighs you down. And when I'm speaking on stage, I actually bring like one of those cute little plastic heart things and I fill it up. And I'm like, what do you want to fill it up with? You want happiness because life is too short and laughter and memories, or do you want to fill it up with black hole and negativity and stress and drama and toxicity? And then that causes so many other ailments. It's like a domino effect for us. Like you're gonna start feeling bad physically and mentally and psychologically, and it just affects every aspect of your life. And I love that because I tell everybody the same thing. You are when you forgive, such a weight comes off of you. It's huge. I I and you know what? I've never heard anybody else other than me say that, other than you. So I love that. Okay, I didn't mean to interrupt. Keep going.

SPEAKER_00 8:28

No, no, no. There's no interruption here. So let me ask you a question. So if you if you squeezed an orange, what would come out?

SPEAKER_01 8:35

Juice.

SPEAKER_00 8:36

Okay. What juice? Orange. Orange juice, correct? So I want to ask an audience the same question. If someone squeezed you, what would come out? Is it anger, frustration, hate, or is it love that would come out? Ask yourself.

SPEAKER_02 8:55

That's a good question.

SPEAKER_00 8:56

I want to give them this practical tool that will change their lives.

Never Give Your Happiness Away

SPEAKER_02 9:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 9:00

So if I said to you, rip off your right shoulder, give it to me, knowing you would bleed to death, would you do it? No, you wouldn't. No, you wouldn't. Okay. It's a rule that you have. Keep it. It's a good rule. Alright? What if you had the same rule for your happiness? And in no circumstances would I give my happiness away. But people do.

SPEAKER_02 9:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:24

Every time they drive a car, someone could take their happiness away.

SPEAKER_01 9:29

Yeah. Absolutely. Oh, I love this. Alright, keep going. I'm just I'm so enemied with this. I love your concepts of everything.

SPEAKER_00 9:39

Yeah, and it's so practical. You know, someone cuts in line at the grocery store. You know, once I I left my shoes at on a beach and went walking, and when I got back, they were gone. I thought, oh, someone needs them more than I do.

SPEAKER_01 9:57

Time to go get another pair of shoes.

SPEAKER_00 9:59

There you go. So it's it's you know, it's not reacting, it's responding. And ask yourself, is it worth giving my happiness away? Sometimes it is. And then you can say, you know, I'm gonna give my happiness away, but only for five minutes, only for 10 seconds. It's okay. But don't stay in that. If you stay in that,

Parenting Triggers And New Questions

SPEAKER_00 10:20

you're gonna get ill.

SPEAKER_01 10:21

Yes. And see, I tell so many people, and I would love your perspective of this, Avil, is because like I also deal with people who are abusive, like they are the abuser. And I tell them, you know, you get mad because your child has a bad day. They came home from school and they were bullied. Maybe they just want that affection and attention because they're not getting it from home. Maybe they're having a bad day because they know what they're gonna come home to. So, how come you can have a bad day, but your kids can't? You know, why can't they have a bad day? They're human, they have the right to have that expression of, you know, maybe they studied really hard and they got a B and they wanted an A, you know, and they were just really disappointed. So, what do you say to those people that already are in that mindset that they're just stuck? I I call it stuck and ugly because they're abusive and they're being hurtful. And I know that they're hurting inside, but then they take it out on their kids. So, what are your thoughts about that?

SPEAKER_00 11:17

You know, they just don't have the tools. Once they have the tools, and one of the tools is this this one sentence would change your life. Be so amazing that you cannot be ignored. And if you are ignored, it doesn't matter because how you show up will be this magnificent soul. So, for example, I would get very upset with my son. Okay, he would leave his socks here, his contact lenses in the sink. It was a mess. Then one day I was watching a movie, and in the movie the child got killed. And I said, What if that was my child? What would I give to get that child back? I would give anything. Now, every time I see that mess, I repurpose it. Oh, my son's living with me. How what a blessing. It's the same circumstance, but how we look at it changes.

SPEAKER_02 12:14

Right.

SPEAKER_00 12:15

So once you look at things in a different way and ask yourself better questions, how can I let this one go? How important is it to lose my right shoulder? What is it my son or daughter could be going through? And why did I have children in the first place? And I remember the day they were born. Was it a happy day or a miserable day? Of course it was a happy day. Why don't you focus on that? We just don't have the tools. Once we start using the tools, we realize that life is for us, not against us.

SPEAKER_01 12:50

Right. And I've noticed so much as a mom, my my daughter's special needs because I was pregnant during the abuse, and she is the most resilient thing I've ever met in my life. She's my life and my heart and my and we don't take one thing for granted. And so many people are like, oh, why aren't you depressed and annoyed and frustrated and why aren't you, you know, mourning the loss of what you could have had? And I said, Are you kidding me? I wouldn't trade her for anything. Like we celebrate every laughter, every milestone, every, you know, the doctor says she wouldn't do XYZ and she's done it all. And like, you know, I and the the parents of kids that live in the doctor's office and in the hospital, they do a lot of times they have resentment. And I don't I can't comprehend that it's myself because I never had that. I'm like, I look at her and she's such a fighter and that she's resilient. And I take from that. And I'm like, I want to be a better person because look what she's offering, look what she's doing. And so many people don't have that mindset. How can you help people get to that point? How can you say, especially to men, because a lot of men don't want to be involved with the special needs child? A lot of times they go through a divorce, they leave, they don't even want to have anything to do with the child. How can you resonate to the men to make them turn around and see that that's their kid? What if it was them? What if they got left alone?

SPEAKER_00 14:09

Yeah.

Gratitude That Rebuilds Perspective

SPEAKER_00 14:10

It's really around gratitude. So if you look at your hands, when was the last time you thanked them? What have they done for you?

SPEAKER_02 14:21

Right.

SPEAKER_00 14:22

Everything. So start writing down things you're grateful for. You know, we you were talking about your heart. Do you know your heart has beaten a billion times to date? Did you know that?

SPEAKER_01 14:40

I think it's a crazy number, but I didn't know it was that.

SPEAKER_00 14:44

And one billion, and there's four chambers in your heart, working in perfect thing. How many times has your car gone wrong? Your washing machine, your dishwasher, or something, but these things continue working. How many millions and gallons of blood have gone through your kidneys, through your liver? How many millions of liters of oxygen have gone through your lungs? So what you focus on is what you get. If you focus on there's something missing, there's something missing. But like my wife said, you still have me, still have the kids. Your eyes, how much would you trade your eyes for? You wouldn't never trade your eyes for any amount of money.

SPEAKER_01 15:28

Right.

SPEAKER_00 15:28

They're worth a trillion dollars.

SPEAKER_01 15:30

Yes. Yes. Do you think people can reinvent themselves, or do you think they just finally settle in and say, This is who I am, and I'm just gonna just stay with

Becoming 1% Better Every Day

SPEAKER_01 15:40

it?

SPEAKER_00 15:40

So I I'm not a big fan of reinventing, I'm a big fan of becoming.

SPEAKER_01 15:46

I love that.

SPEAKER_00 15:48

It's compounding. So if I asked you to be 1% happier, you could do that.

unknown 15:53

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 15:54

And if if I said 1% happier, more playful, more joyful, more funny, maybe not so funny, whatever, you could do that. And if you did that every single day, every day you're becoming a better version of you. So it's not reinventing yourself, you're becoming the best version of you. And through that compounding, the benefit of the benefit is enormous. So I'll explain what the benefit of the benefit is. So an alarm clock will wake you up. The benefit of that is it'll give you a rested sleep, you you won't be stressed, you have more time for people in the morning, you have a nice breakfast, you're energized, you get more work done, you make more money, you make a bigger impact, you live a richer, fuller, happier life. So the benefit of the benefit of the benefit of the alarm clock is huge. But when when you work on working on you, the benefit of the benefit of each little thing, each methodology, each system, each muscle that you've exercised will exponentially increase over your lifetime. So make small changes now and

The 3G Happiness Formula

SPEAKER_00 17:00

accept big changes in the future.

SPEAKER_01 17:03

Now, you created a happiness formula. Tell me what that is.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

So I after writing my book, I asked myself, what did I do? There must there may be a formula. I thought I love formulas. So I thought, what what I gave, okay. I I I was grateful what I have, and I grew. What about G plus G plus G? No, that's a bit boring. Oh, GQ. That's brilliant. So the first G is you have to give your time, your energy, your love, your commitment, your joy, your money. Give it away, not wanting anything back. In the moment you give, you feel good, you receive endorphins, the person receiving the gift feels good, the person observing the gift feels good, the person sharing the giving feels good, the person receiving the sharing feels good, the person observing the sharing of the giving feels good. So it goes on. The second G is you have to be grateful for what you have and don't focus on what you don't have. Okay, and the third G is that you have to grow emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally, and financially. Now each G is measured up to 10, 10 being the very best.

unknown 18:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 18:12

So on August the 25th at 8:30 a.m., my happiness score was 729. At 9.05 a.m. My happiness score went to 1. I was playing pickleball, happy as could be, playing my best ever. Then I slipped and fell. Normally that's not a big thing, but I slipped and fell in such a way that I fractured nine bones, dislocated my my wrist, scraped it. You can still see the scrape there. Yeah, and everything collapsed. Ambulance, fire crew, gurney, EKG, I passed out, people waking me up. And my score went to one. One for giving, one for growing, one for gratitude. Previously it was nine forgiving, nine for growth, nine for gratitude. So then I thought to myself, I'm eal, because I I do talk to myself. How can I be grateful right now? And do you know what came up?

SPEAKER_01 19:20

You're alive, you're here.

SPEAKER_00 19:22

It's my left hand. I'm right-handed. Means I could play pickleball. And I thought, okay, what could I be? What could I give? So what you know, I could thank the people around me, you know, acknowledge them, and really, you know, make them feel good. So my give went to five, my gratitude went to five. Then I thought, how can I grow? I thought, you know, I I could use this in my future podcasts, in my new books. I could tell this story to help other people, that it's not what happens, it's who you become. And that went up to five. So it went up to 125 from 729 to 1 to 125.

SPEAKER_02 20:07

That's the way to do it.

SPEAKER_00 20:09

And if you use this formula at home, ask yourself, what are my three G's? And keep on working on the lowest one. Keep on working on the lowest one, and you'll be amazed at the difference

Fulfilment Versus Happiness

SPEAKER_00 20:20

it makes.

SPEAKER_01 20:21

What do you think is the most harmful lie that people believe about happiness?

SPEAKER_00 20:27

That it's something that happens to them. You see, people think we're seeking happiness, but we're not. What we're seeking is fulfillment. See, fulfillment is internal, happiness is external, inspiration is internal, motivation is external. It has to come from within. So nothing makes you happy. You know, a car, a house, money, the lottery, this relationship. That's not what's going to make you happy. It's coming from inside. When it comes from inside, it's deeper.

SPEAKER_01 21:03

So then what

When Love Becomes Transactional

SPEAKER_01 21:05

is something that you think most people would call love, but you really define it as fear?

SPEAKER_00 21:12

Love is is transactional now. You know, when when people first started dating, they would do anything for the partner.

SPEAKER_02 21:20

Right.

SPEAKER_00 21:21

And it was a hundred hundred.

SPEAKER_02 21:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 21:23

You know, whatever you want, I'm here to serve you. Then it becomes 80-20, 70, 30, 50, 50. Oh, she didn't do that for me, I'm not going to do that. Or he didn't do that, I'm not going to do that. And that's when the problem arises. But if you make your partner your number one priority, they will never leave you. So we become very transactional and we get very ego centric. What we have to do is give, focus on other people. When I started to give, all my pain and suffering disappeared because I was focused on other people, I wasn't focusing on me. That's what we need to do, and we have to understand what love is. Love is acceptance. If you can accept the baby as is, and you know, coming back to what you were saying earlier on, if you accept the baby, it may not be perfect, but if you accept the baby as is, your view of the baby will be perfection.

SPEAKER_01 22:19

Right. So, how long have you been married to your beautiful light?

SPEAKER_00 22:24

Uh what's the day today seven? 37 years, seven months, three days.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

Okay, I wasn't expecting that.

SPEAKER_00 22:33

And you know, four hours, 34 minutes.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

Wow. Are you still just head over heels in love with her like you were day one?

SPEAKER_00 22:43

No.

SPEAKER_01 22:44

No.

SPEAKER_00 22:45

No. More so? No, I'm in love with her, but not head over heels. You know, I uh you gotta be practical.

SPEAKER_02 22:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 22:53

Yeah, I I'm in love with her, the way she looks after me, that looks after her grandson, you know, the way she walks, you know, does her hair. But I'm not head over heels. Yeah, I'm just being straight with you. You know, I'm in love with her, but I've got other things to do. I've got people's lives to change.

SPEAKER_01 23:10

Right, right. But is she your best friend?

SPEAKER_00 23:13

She is, yeah. We uh no one ever knows this, but she's my girlfriend. So whenever she calls me, it comes up as my girlfriend. You know who my wife do you know who my wife is?

SPEAKER_01 23:26

Your collar I so your caller ID says girlfriend.

SPEAKER_00 23:31

This is my wife. She never leaves my side. My phone is my wife, she's my girlfriend. Let me see if I can show you. A recent call. Yeah, can you see it's it says my girlfriend at the top?

SPEAKER_01 23:48

Yes, it does. I love it. I love that. That's amazing. Let me ask you something, have you ever worked with someone and realized that the relationship that they were in and that they were trying to save was actually the very thing that was breaking them?

SPEAKER_00 24:04

I'm

The Three-Way Relationship Test

SPEAKER_00 24:05

not sure what that means, but there's a three-way test.

SPEAKER_02 24:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 24:10

Any partnership or relationship you have must pass the three-way test. The first part of it is integrity. Okay, being your word, doing what you say you're gonna say, and doing it. Be on time, not gossip, not complain, be trustworthy, loyal. The second one, they have to be loving, not to them, not just to you, but to waiters, waitresses, hotel staff, everyone. And the third one is they have to be healthy emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally, and financially. Now, do you the reason why relationships fail, people say yes to a relationship until it becomes a no? You would never look at a house and think, oh, I like that, I'll buy it. No, you would do your due diligence, location, mortgage, valuation, terms of the mortgage, the neighbors, the your hospitals, whatever. But if you were selling your house, you would work make it cleaner, more tidy, more appealing. So there's two parts. You have to do your due diligence, so you say no to prospective partners until they pass the three-way test. But also, you've got to work on yourself. So I I help people get clarity. I was just on a call just before you, and this gentleman had broken up with this lady, and he was still thinking, Am I making the right decision? I'm not so sure. But then he he said, Oh, she fails the three-way test. So he knows he made the right decision. So the decisions that we make determine our destiny. If you make the right decisions, I was so blessed to you know pick my wife Mina, everything changes.

SPEAKER_01 26:02

Right. So let me ask you talk to the amazing individuals that listen to us about going through, let's say, let me have you do this in stages. Let's

Self-Worth For Abuse Survivors

SPEAKER_01 26:15

start with the the individual, because it happens to men as well, that is in a violent situation right now, who doesn't believe they're worth fighting for, who doesn't, and I tell them, I said, Do you believe your children are worth fighting for? Because you also have to fight for your children. What would you say to them first to help them realize that they are and that they can get out of this and be the best version of themselves?

SPEAKER_00 26:39

So I I sense that they don't have a self-worth issue. They have a self-worth issue. Okay. So I would do an exercise. So if I said to you, yeah, I might. If you imagine this is a hundred dollar note, okay, how much is it worth?

SPEAKER_01 26:57

$100.

SPEAKER_00 26:58

If I said to her, you're stupid, you're not good enough, you're not worthy, you're just a complete failure. Nobody loves you. How much is it worth?

SPEAKER_01 27:10

Nothing. Well, it's worth nothing in their eyes, but it's still a hundred dollar bill.

SPEAKER_00 27:15

It's still worth a hundred dollars. Right. So no matter what you say to that note, it always retains the value. Then I would say to them, you are the equivalent of that hundred dollar note. No matter what happens to you, your value never changes. Now, what if I told you this hundred dollar note was worth millions of dollars? I can go to Walmart, spend this hundred dollar note, buy a hundred dollars worth of goods. That same hundred dollars can go to another store to buy another hundred dollars worth of goods. That same hundred dollars can go to A, B, C, D, and still bring hundred dollars worth of value. So, this is what I would say to you. Wherever you go, you bring value. You are worthy, you are priceless, you are an infinite source. You you've got trillions of cells inside you. No one could reproduce you. You're a miracle, you're a walking miracle, you're a talking miracle, you're a seeing miracle, you're a feeling miracle. Don't ever let anyone dim your light.

SPEAKER_01 28:33

Now, what about the individuals that have just left but feel because they do on average, and for a woman, they go back seven times on average. To talk to them and say, you have gotten out, you're on the road of healing, you're on the road to bettering yourself. And I tell them that even the smallest flicker of light can start a wildfire, that you are worth this, and that you have succeeded and you know, managed to make through all of your worst days. And that's a heck of a track record that you, you know, that you have successfully managed to make it through all of that. What do you say to someone who just left that's like, I don't know how to do this by myself, I don't know how to function by myself. Maybe I do need to just go back.

SPEAKER_00 29:18

Yeah. So never doubt yourself. Ask yourself, what advice would I give if this was my daughter? And you'll get the right answer. It's not gonna be easy at first, but safety and freedom is paramount.

SPEAKER_02 29:39

Right.

SPEAKER_00 29:40

Just do the right thing and ask for help. There are people out there who will help you because it's not gonna end up well.

unknown 29:48

Right.

SPEAKER_01 29:49

I

Meeting The Dalai Lama

SPEAKER_01 29:50

have to ask you about when you met the Dalai Lama. Can you tell me that story? I'm so intrigued by this.

SPEAKER_00 29:56

When he met me, you mean?

SPEAKER_01 29:58

Oh, sorry, when he met you.

SPEAKER_00 30:02

So it's a long story, but I'll break it down. A friend of mine invited me to meet the Dalai Lama, and he he she gave me the dates. I said, I I can't make those dates, but can my son go in place of me? She said, Yes, yes. So my son went, but the Dalai was ill. So my son said, What do I do? I said, Look, just go there, serve, help them in anything that they want to do. And then a few weeks later, the president of Tibet contacted my son and said, Hey, I heard what you did. Would you like to meet the Dalai another time? And my son said yes. So that's how we got to meet him. And we met him twice. And you know, he's a funny man.

SPEAKER_02 30:53

Really?

SPEAKER_00 30:54

Very funny, very humorous, very alive and vibrant. And you know, he I think he wakes up at four, four, three, three in the morning or something, and uh he's just pure love, pure love.

SPEAKER_01 31:08

That's amazing. And what tips of advice did you give the Dalai Lama?

SPEAKER_00 31:15

We didn't have that long, but it was just love. Be love. You know, don't don't focus on the negative, just focus on love.

SPEAKER_01 31:24

I can't imagine the the love and the just the the feeling and happiness and and spirit you would get just being around him.

SPEAKER_00 31:34

It was electric, you know. There were you know very, very well-known dignitaries there, and we just happened to be there. But he treats everyone the same. There's there's no like, oh, you're the king of so-and-so, you're the queen. No, there's none of that.

SPEAKER_01 31:47

Really? Yeah. Oh, that's amazing. That is amazing. So if you were talking to somebody just starting out, how do you tell

Stop Fighting Darkness Be The Light

SPEAKER_01 31:58

them to begin this? So and not to give up. Don't give up on your frustration.

SPEAKER_00 32:02

So imagine you you came home late at night and the room was completely dark.

SPEAKER_02 32:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 32:09

You you would turn on the light, wouldn't you?

SPEAKER_02 32:12

Of course.

SPEAKER_00 32:12

Okay. Would you go in and try and remove the darkness?

SPEAKER_02 32:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:18

Of course. Show me how that would look.

SPEAKER_01 32:22

I would turn on a light or no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, I'm not doing it right.

SPEAKER_00 32:29

You wouldn't go in, you can't remove the darkness, can you? You can only turn on the light.

SPEAKER_01 32:33

Or I use a flashlight or but that's a light.

SPEAKER_00 32:36

So but most people in life will try and remove the darkness.

SPEAKER_02 32:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 32:43

All they have to do is to be the light. Once you become the light, the darkness, the negativity, the self-doubt, the unworthiness will disappear. And the way to become the light is to give, is to grow, and to be gratitude, and to have gratitude.

SPEAKER_01 33:01

I love that. So you do coaching now.

SPEAKER_00 33:05

I do mentoring. See, everyone seems to be a coach nowadays, but a mentor has been through so much, right? And they will guide you to a bigger purpose, a bigger mission, a bigger impact.

Where To Find Anil’s Work

SPEAKER_00 33:20

So I guide people through where they are to get them to where they want to get to rapidly.

SPEAKER_01 33:27

So tell everybody how they can find you. I want to make sure that I get everybody in touch with you if they want to get a hold of you and your books and everything. Just tell me everything.

SPEAKER_00 33:39

Okay. The best website for me is meetanil.com. And if you want to have a private conversation with me, and I promise you it'll be worthwhile, you'll get some insights. It's chatwithanil.com.

SPEAKER_01 33:53

Okay. And your books are are they on Amazon?

SPEAKER_00 33:57

Yeah, they're all on Amazon. There's three books. There's a fourth book coming up this month, and another book coming up in June.

SPEAKER_01 34:04

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 34:05

May May, sorry.

SPEAKER_01 34:06

No, no. That is amazing. Will you come back on with me again sometime?

SPEAKER_00 34:10

Anytime. This was such a wonderful experience. I hope you enjoyed it and I hope you got great value.

SPEAKER_01 34:15

I loved it. Thank you so much. I'm gonna make sure your notes are on there for everybody. We will be right back. I appreciate everybody so much. Y'all have a great day. And I'm gonna make sure that you go check him out and get his books. He is such a light and he's funny. I don't care what he says, he's funny. All right, thanks, everybody.