What If The Real Boundary Is Love

Some people don’t just accept kindness, they consume it. We’re candid about what it’s like to be the kind of person who will give time, energy, money, and care without keeping score, and how easily that generosity can attract people who take advantage. We also wrestle with the protective side of love: as spouses, how do we shield each other from being used without hardening our hearts or turning into someone we don’t recognise? 

Then the conversation turns to family, estrangement, and the moment our daughter decides she wants to speak directly to the biological relatives who have caused real harm. We walk through what the phone call sounds like when control is the only goal: disrespect, loud distractions, repeated “What do you want?”, paranoia about being recorded, and constant attempts to dictate the terms. If you’ve dealt with narcissistic family dynamics, emotional abuse, or the exhausting loop of chasing closure, you’ll recognise the pattern and the emotional hangover that follows. 

We also zoom out to the bigger themes: generational trauma, the “black sheep” role, and why accountability threatens a family system built on image and denial. Along the way, we talk resilience, protecting your kids, and building boundaries that let you stay compassionate without staying available for manipulation. If this resonates, subscribe, share it with someone who needs stronger boundaries, and leave a review with the one line you wish you’d heard sooner.

Transcript

Hair Change And Couple Banter

SPEAKER_03 0:02

And we're back. Another episode of a contagious smiles unstoppable with Victoria Cure and Michael.

SPEAKER_00 0:11

The redneck.

SPEAKER_03 0:12

And we got two dogs in here.

SPEAKER_00 0:13

No, we can't say the redhead and redneck anymore.

SPEAKER_03 0:16

Oh Lord. Y'all, my wife then changed to a brunette.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

I'm not a brunette. It's not a brunette. I did not do that.

SPEAKER_03 0:22

No. Some debate. Brown, maroon, black.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

It's like a black cherry, right? Almost like a Marlowe black. I don't know. It's I mean, like, go big or go home. And what are your thoughts on it?

SPEAKER_03 0:39

I love it.

SPEAKER_00 0:40

Yeah?

SPEAKER_03 0:41

Yeah. So my red-headed wife is no longer redheaded.

SPEAKER_00 0:46

What a dramatic difference. I was worried it was gonna wash me out.

SPEAKER_03 0:49

I don't know what that means.

SPEAKER_00 0:51

It means it just makes you look like death, you know? Like you're just like a creek keeper. Like Morticia Adams.

SPEAKER_03 0:57

Like she's hot.

SPEAKER_00 0:59

What?

SPEAKER_03 1:00

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:01

Morticia Adams is quiet. Oh yeah. Are you talking about Catherine Zeta Jones in Wednesday? Of course. Yeah, she's beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 1:07

I didn't say Wednesday.

SPEAKER_00 1:09

Katherine Zeta Jones only played Morticia in Wednesday.

SPEAKER_03 1:12

Just Angela, not the girl Wednesday.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

No, Angela Houston played the original Morticia or in one of the other things.

SPEAKER_03 1:20

Who knows that fun little fact?

SPEAKER_00 1:22

I do.

SPEAKER_03 1:23

Good night, son.

SPEAKER_00 1:25

So my husband, I'm getting a little country. It's a little concerning.

SPEAKER_03 1:30

You got a little country in you?

SPEAKER_00 1:32

Shut up. There's nothing little about you.

SPEAKER_03 1:34

Shut up. Oh my god.

Kindness That Gets Exploited

SPEAKER_00 1:38

So for everybody listening, my husband says to me today, I need to tell you something, and I don't want you to be offended. Which automatically, if you know my husband in any shape, form, or fashion, is like, strap in, here we go. Is that a fat joke? No, stop. My husband is losing weight, and he looks phenomenal. And then, you know, he has to go and make those comments. Anyway, so he says to me that he's concerned because I have this really big, huge heart. And that ever since he met me, even 25 years ago, you used to get mad at how people took advantage of me. Like you got pissed back in the day. You'd be like, especially like I'm gonna say one word and you're gonna say, Oh yeah, Renee.

SPEAKER_03 2:26

I don't remember her. I mean, I remember her, I can see her, but at the bar.

SPEAKER_00 2:33

She was the one I always paid everything for, and helped her all the time. And I mean, you even said something to her, and you're like, You work, right? So why is it that she's always paying for everything for you? Like, even back then, other people would, you know, like ask me to do things, and I would just do it. And anyway, so you said that, you know, you're not gonna switch, you're not gonna change because that's not who you are. And I appreciate you saying that because there are times that I feel like I'm working seven days a week, and you'll you know, you'll attest to that, right? Like I'm in here every day, unfortunately, and I am working. Even Mike Magniak texted and said, You do not need to be working seven days a week. What are you doing? Like, even Mike said this to me today, and so you know, I am still I'm only three weeks post-op for major, major, major surgery, and I kid around with my husband about it, and it's like, you know, the saying, God only gives you what you can handle. And then I'm like, is that now why I have a titanium spine in in places? Because I just keep getting more shit. I mean it's a valid question.

SPEAKER_03 3:50

The question the the question y'all I I pose to my wife carefully is oh I'm sorry, rusty. I just keep rusting in the face. Sorry, buddy. Rusty don't tell Peter sweet sweet baby. I love it I was trying to move. My wife has such a big fat heart and she's so caring and giving that she'll literally literally give the shirt off her back, and she devotes hours and hours, countless energy, and just will do anything to help folks, and she gets taken advantage of. Are you about to cut my eyebrows? Yeah, get them scissors away from me, woman. And and I absolutely hate that, y'all. How many of folks do y'all know that do the same thing to you? Right? They take advantage of your kindness. So my question is, how do I prevent that as a husband? How do I protect my wife from this? Okay, it it's to me it it's almost a form of an abuse, right? These folks are taking advantage of my wife's good graces, good heart. Not that's not that she's filthy rich, but she gives so much of herself, and and I absolutely love it. People love it, people recognize her because of her big fat heart. And I always say she's got a big fat heart, and that's not a fat joke. But my wife is not gonna change to please other people in so much as she's not gonna stop caring and stop giving so that other people don't take advantage of her. Does that make sense? Yes, and I don't know that we can change everybody out there yet. We try to help my wife tries to help as many people as she possibly can. And oh shit. Sorry y'all, I just crumbled a cookie for my dog everywhere.

SPEAKER_00 6:10

Look at all this mess.

SPEAKER_03 6:12

I made a huge mess. Yes, he did. This thing went everywhere. But hey, I'm open to suggestions. You know, I d I don't want my wife to change. She's absolutely gorgeous and beautiful, and she's recognized, you know, worldwide.

SPEAKER_00 6:30

That's Rusty's.

SPEAKER_03 6:31

Oh, I'm sorry, as Victoria Cure, you know, the the woman with the golden heart. And she doesn't ask for anything in return that I know of. Do you have asked for anything? Hey, pay it forward. That's probably it. You you know, you see something, say something, help somebody else along, you know, listen to that neighbor, listen to that uh coworker.

Pay It Forward And Small Wins

SPEAKER_00 6:57

But you gotta say what makes my heart so happy is like tell them what happened when we went to the grocery store after I had had the surgery and like I don't recall. It was Friday when we went in there, and like everybody you're like, who goes into the grocery store and people come up to you? Like, you know, and the sweet girl, I don't want to say any names, that was doing the bagging and stuff. And he gets in the car and he's like, Oh my god. And he's like, you know, who goes to the grocery store and has people come up and be like, Hey, thank you for your help with this, or now I, you know, now I'm doing this and I took your advice, and now, you know, I'm now trying to go on a register for the first time, or no, you know, anything like and it's just because that's what makes my heart and life happy is to see people get out of their comfort zone, believe in themselves, and take a step forward because that's why the rear view mirror is so much smaller in a vehicle because the past is behind and all the beautiful, bright future is ahead. And to say something like, hey, you know, you need to believe in yourself and and let's look at the very next step. And even if it's a baby step, it's still a step in the right direction. So let's look at it. Where does it take us? Where can we move that to? And then let's take that forward.

SPEAKER_03 8:06

So, yeah, that was my that was my thinking on the way home from dinner tonight.

SPEAKER_00 8:12

Well, and then I want to carefully mention this. And I, and of course, as y'all all know, we are unfiltered and have this discussion. So what are you doing? Oh my lord, if I can't cut your eyebrows, you're not cutting my cold blanket. Here, take that then. So let's talk about this for just a minute because I want to talk it's fine, O C D. So I want to talk about this for just a second.

Our Daughter Reaches Out

SPEAKER_03 8:40

So our daughter came to limits guys.

SPEAKER_00 8:47

Oh my lord.

SPEAKER_03 8:49

Who she's almost 20? One and she's off limits.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

You don't even know her age. So, anyway, so I was only supposed to.

SPEAKER_03 8:59

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

So, as you know, she has gone through hell in a handbasket, and she says to us, she is she just has the biggest heart, and she says to us, there's some things I need to say to get off my chest, and I need to do them, and I need to speak to the sperm and egg donor. And she vocally went off on your sperm donor, so now I guess she feels like it's time that she goes off on my sperm and egg donor. So she reached out and texted them a couple of times, and they never responded to her. And she was like, they can't even send me a text, and it really hurt her. And the last thing I ever want to see is hurt her, and I always want to shield her and stand in front, as does my husband. So she asked if she could call. So she calls, and I am just dumbfounded. Like, what is your take on that conversation? You know, because I'm that protective tigering bear mom that is like, I don't want her to go through any unnecessary life pain. I mean, of course, she's gonna go through life lessons, and that's how you learn and that's how you appreciate better things in life, but I'm not gonna like sit there and say, I know this is gonna be a horrible experience, and I think you should go. Like, I just that's not how I am, and that's how we both, you and I, have both ended generational trauma and broken the cycle on both of our paths of generational trauma, both you and I.

SPEAKER_03 10:42

I want to see this tigering thing.

SPEAKER_00 10:45

Shut up, you know it's there.

SPEAKER_03 10:47

Tigering. Okay, do you think you've got more words than I have?

SPEAKER_00 10:50

Do you not think if somebody messed with faith, hell have no fury? Because I might have black hair right now, but underneath it's still red. That's all I'm gonna say. That's I don't have to say more. Drop mic. That's it. Like, seriously? No, no, and you know what? The judge said it best. This woman, I gotta judge, besides all of her martial art training, is trained and basically everything's happened in her life to her. Everything stabbing, choking, suffocating, you name it, everything. So if you don't think I'm gonna step in front and make sure that she's safe and okay, no, I'll never hit first, but I'll I'll stop the threat. Period statement and it's finished. Anyway, totally off the subject. Completely, I don't know why you went out and left field.

SPEAKER_03 11:38

But well, I'll add to that because my wife and I are always on the same page. This morning I woke up and uh down there messing with the DTF printer for our t-shirt business, and I I've I I made some mistakes and got ink everywhere, and and I went ahead and had to print out something real quick, and so I I printed a an image of dad, which was my face, not my body, and my daughter, and I'm I'm holding my daughter, I'm protecting her from looks like a gang of thugs in the background. And then on the other side of the picture was my daughter in uh Valkyrie armor.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

What?

SPEAKER_03 12:19

Valkyrie. Valkyrie? What the hell is that? What the hell is a Valkyrie? Yeah. No, what is it? With with fiery wings. Except what is a Valkyrie? Fiery sword.

SPEAKER_01 12:32

A Valkyrie is a female figure in Norse mythology who serves Odin.

SPEAKER_03 12:39

Okay, Alexa, thank you. You didn't finish that the good part. Phenomenal. Anyway, the the capsule said, you know, I will always protect you from the world, but only God can protect the world from you. And my wife and I are always on the same page. We'll we will stand in front, a bullet, anything to you know, protect each other, protect our our loved ones.

unknown 13:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 13:01

So you can finish. Oh, you'll be oh, so what I think about dipshit and the response given to our daughter or the non-response about what she said.

SPEAKER_01 13:17

That's a powerful statement about family commitment. That's what I will think of the dog, but it's clear you value strong family bonds. Alexa stop.

SPEAKER_00 13:27

Thank you, Alexa. Go to sleep.

SPEAKER_03 13:30

So a snake is gonna be a snake. Okay? A dog is gonna be a dog. Right? A narcissist, a controlled manipulating malicious narcissist. Whatever derogatory words you can come up with for him, he's not gonna change.

SPEAKER_00 13:51

So how do you summarize the phone call? Because I know our listeners are like, what happened when she called? What happened when she called? No names, but like, what happened when she called?

SPEAKER_03 14:00

Me, I don't know. I'm I'm I'm more strategic, tactical. You go in Tactiful? Tactical. You said tactical. Tactical. You just don't hear well. I'm deaf, what really?

SPEAKER_00 14:13

Yes, I'm a hundred percent deaf in line.

SPEAKER_03 14:15

You go into a battle prepared, right?

SPEAKER_00 14:17

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 14:18

Uh every day I I strap on, right? I walked in an album didn't. Every day I strap on my my my pistol, right? Your piece, and currently I'm I I carry a judge.

SPEAKER_00 14:33

And if you if you know beforehand That has nothing to do with the listeners asking what happened in the call.

SPEAKER_03 14:44

Well, I'm I'm trying to give uh the scenario, right? So the answer We know the stake is gonna continue to be a stake.

SPEAKER_00 14:51

They need to know what happens during the phone call.

SPEAKER_03 14:55

What as expected.

SPEAKER_00 14:57

Well, okay, you gotta give a little more than that.

SPEAKER_03 14:59

So his words are gonna be venom. Okay, and he's gonna try to hurt.

SPEAKER_00 15:04

Well, let's dissect that for a second.

Breaking Down Narcissist Control Tactics

SPEAKER_00 15:06

So the the phone is answered, and uh it is so loud on the other end, and when you want to talk, I don't care who it is, even when you get a like an unknown number that you you answer, you either mute the television, lower the volume, or if you're watching something, there's a thing called a pause button, right? And none of that was done. It was so loud on the call on the other end, number one, number two. Faith has changed her name, and they are aware of the name change, very aware of the name change, and she even identified herself by her new name, and the next two words were the old name, and that's just disrespectful. I I mean really, I I believe it's completely disrespectful, right? Because, and you know, our daughter who is a lot like me is like, well, maybe they don't remember or they just forgot. Okay, it was two words ago, and if that's the case, don't call somebody by any name at all. Just say, yeah, whatever. How many times was the question imposed, why are you calling me? At least three or four, right?

SPEAKER_03 16:34

First of all, this is a well that shows his mindset of hey, every time I call somebody, I want something, right?

SPEAKER_00 16:44

And then to be like, Why are you calling me? Why are you calling me? Why are you calling me? What do you want? And her answer was, I just want to talk to you. Well, I'm sure your mom would not like you talking to me. And she said, No, my mom is very well aware of it and supports me. And then again, trying to carry control, you know, she was like, I'd like to meet face to face to have some words with you. And he was like, Are you driving yet? Well, he knows she can't drive, he knows she can't drive. And to to ask that, that's like asking me, you know, if I want to shake hands with my left hand.

SPEAKER_03 17:23

Can you clap?

SPEAKER_00 17:24

Or can I clap? Or, you know, can I ride a bike, you know, or or like can I shoot at the range with my left hand anymore? Or better yet, because I used to play pool, you know, can you still hold a cue stick? I mean, just these are things you don't you don't ask, right? It's not like I mean, it's a very painful thing to hear at that point, you know. And she was right on and said, No, you know, I choose not to drive, and the doctors agree it's not smart for me. And it was just one after another after another. And it was, how are you gonna get to where we're gonna meet? And well, she's like, my mom will take me. And immediate control was no, that doesn't work for me. No, I mean, that alone is I'm trying to try to take control of the situation, yada yada yada, right? And then there's some paranoia in there because the question was imposed again to our daughter, are you recording this conversation? And she answered honestly, she was not recording the conversation, right?

Medical Battles And Family Silence

SPEAKER_00 18:39

So here you have your biological granddaughter who has overcome over 50 surgeries, who has beaten every odd that has been put in front of her. She was told she wasn't gonna eat by mouth, that she would have a trach through high school or at least all the way through middle school, that she would have a feeding tube her whole life, that you know, this, that, and the other, every obstacle they put in front of her, she absolutely came through it on the other side. And even to the point where a national news story was done on her and she got an Emmy for it. So, I mean, you talk about the heart and soul of an amazing person that really does not get enough credit from where it is due outside of this home. And then a couple of years ago, right before Christmas, like days before Christmas, she just said, I need to go to the hospital. And hours later, I'm being told you need to call a priest first, and you need to call your husband because she's gonna die and she won't make it through the night. And as a parent, I can't even fathom imagining a day in the life without her in my in my world. I can't imagine it. I just can't. And I just can't. And so I said, no, she's gonna pull through, she's gonna pull through. And for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks. I'm not talking one, two, three, four weeks. We were at her bedside in the ICU when she was too fragile to even make it down to the OR, where they did at least 20 plus surgeries at bedside. And she was on life support, she was in full organ failure when you know she was gonna need a kidney transplant. We started that role of going down, getting ready to let me be a donor. We went through exactly that's Rusty putting in his two cents. We went through everything to, you know, get her into whatever necessary means she needed. You know, she coded multiple times, and then it wasn't a very short time later when by the grace of God she got better. Then we ended up going back to another hospital where they had to fix what the host the other hospital did wrong. And she required it was like an eight-hour plus surgery, and then she gets into her room and she codes, and it's an 11, sorry, 11-second event. She ends up being rushed down to ICU. The next day, she's back, she's off the ventilator, and they promised her she wouldn't go back on it again. And then next thing I know, we're coding again, and they rushed her down for another surgery, and she's back on the vent and life support again. And this just goes on and on, but she never gave up, she never stopped fighting, and we stayed there weeks and weeks and weeks again, never you know, leaving her side. And to go through all this and to find out that you're both sides of our family, both sides of our donors, we could say that better, knew what was transpiring. I mean, both of them knew, both sides of our families knew what was going on, and not even so much as a phone call on either side, right?

SPEAKER_02 21:58

Right.

SPEAKER_00 21:59

And Like when your brother got in his ATV accident, we did everything. We were sending Amazon stuff down every day. We were doing, you know what I'm saying? I mean, we didn't ask for anything. Not one person on either side reached out to say, What do you need? How can we help? Can we just sit with you? Can we bring you something to eat? Can we do whatever? I mean, anything. I stayed, my husband would go home. It was a multi-hour drive to take care of the dogs and stay there for the nights and then come back. And it was so much on the both of us. And then here we are, you know, literally possibly losing our home and everything else because we're up there and you don't get free meals for parents or family, and it's $30 a day, and we're sharing a sandwich, which is not even relevant. We're just trying to keep going barely, and everybody knows, right?

SPEAKER_03 22:57

Yes. What what my long-winded wife is trying to say is during this whole time, they neither side the egg and sperm donor on either side advised us. Oh, I thought I sent a text.

SPEAKER_00 23:13

Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_03 23:14

Right to inquire about our daughter. Well, our daughter now has reached out to them and your their granddaughter.

SPEAKER_00 23:23

You sent our daughter.

SPEAKER_03 23:25

Our daughter.

SPEAKER_00 23:25

Right, it just could come out differently.

SPEAKER_03 23:27

Reached out to them and asked for a little bit of time to talk to them face to face. And the narcissistic person is trying to maintain control and and demand why. Why?

SPEAKER_00 23:48

And even said it is, you know, your fault. That's how some things end up happening. And then said, here's the thing. Now she hasn't talked to him in well over a year because we've got no contact. And she he says to her, Call me next week. That's like something you would say to a salesperson, you know, call me next week and I'll think about whether or not I want to move forward in sitting down with you. And he said, Will your mom drop you off? She's like, No, no, my mom is never gonna just drop me off. And so, and here's the reason why. Number one is that she has to be watched when she eats and drinks, and they are he is not trained on her in that aspect.

SPEAKER_03 24:34

I wouldn't trust him if he was.

SPEAKER_00 24:36

Right, but I'm still not going to. I'm just saying. And he's like, Well, I'm not having a conversation with her. It's always having to have that control. That narcissists have to have that control where they're like, okay, here's the control. I'm calling the shots. It's gonna be where who help me with this, who, what, when, how, and why, and it's all my decision. Like, it'll be at my choice of establishments, when I say I'll do it, how I say I do it, like, you know, all the shots. And that's not how it is. That's not how it is. And to go through and listen to this, and then she's like, I just want to have a conversation with you face to face. And she goes, you know, we never know how much time anybody has left. And then immediate on guard, what is that supposed to be? What are you trying to say?

SPEAKER_03 25:23

Well, is that a threat?

SPEAKER_00 25:24

Right. And they're in their eight, you know, they're older. I mean, come on now, you know, not to mention that she we almost lost her. And for you to say that, I mean, you know, if somebody called us up, you know, and this has happened when we've had family on either side, even six, seven, eight hours away, call us up and say, in the middle of the hottest time of the year, we don't have air conditioning in the middle of the night, we've gotten up without question or hesitation and driven all the way down there to go get them. No questions asked, right? And then to not hear from somebody and then be like, oh, call me next week and we'll talk about it. We'll decide if I want to do this, if I do decide to do this, when and where, and I'll tell you all those information, but you can call me next week. And knowing how faith is, she needs direct answers. And and everybody who knows her knows this. So it was like, when next week? Oh, I don't care. But I mean, even if it's a like an associate or someone you have respect for, you A, don't keep questioning the morals or the reasons, you don't show, you know, like, are you recording me? Is this a threat? Is it, you know, I'm not sitting here across from your mom or whatever? And it's like she just wants to have a conversation with you, and I'm supporting her. But if this is how the phone call is gonna go, how do you think it's gonna go in person? The minute she opens her mouth and starts trying to talk about her feelings, he's gonna get up and walk away. He's not gonna be told or talked to and said he's ever done anything wrong because you know from your side, my side, everybody who you know is this way, if it's not advantageous for them, then they don't care.

SPEAKER_03 27:07

So the whole theme of this podcast tonight is it goes back to um what I was thinking in the car ride after dinner. We know he's a snake, we know how he is. We are not our daughter's not gonna change him.

SPEAKER_00 27:23

Nobody can change him, right?

SPEAKER_03 27:25

He can't change like way too old, way too set in his ways, and that that's just the way he is now.

SPEAKER_00 27:31

Okay, but what about your family? You think anybody's gonna change them?

SPEAKER_03 27:33

Well, we're talking about our daughter in this conversation, right?

SPEAKER_00 27:36

But I'm talking about not singling out one malicious narcissist, I'm talking about in generality.

SPEAKER_03 27:41

Any of them. But she's trying to do something good. We don't want her to change.

SPEAKER_00 27:47

No, we don't want her to because then idiots win, and right that's not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_03 27:54

So what do you do? You prepare, you prepare her. Just just beforehand, put on your armor because the state's gonna try to bite. Right? The snake is gonna be a snake.

SPEAKER_00 28:11

Are you okay with her actually going to this?

SPEAKER_03 28:13

His words are venom?

SPEAKER_00 28:15

If you know that, are you okay with her actually going to this?

SPEAKER_03 28:18

I've said I would be right there.

SPEAKER_00 28:20

Well, I'm just saying, how do you feel about her wanting to go to this?

SPEAKER_03 28:23

Well, I I'll be right there beside her.

SPEAKER_00 28:26

He won't let either one of us be right there. We're gonna have to be like he doesn't want us to hear whatever he says to her. That's what it is. He is not gonna want her to tell us. He's gonna tell her not to tell us, he's gonna tell her he doesn't want us to hear it. He's gonna say, if I'm gonna do this, I don't want them within distance, or I don't even want to see them. That'll be part of it.

SPEAKER_03 28:53

We'll see about that.

SPEAKER_00 28:55

What if one of your family called and said they want to have a sit-down with you? What would you say?

SPEAKER_03 28:58

Same thing, y'all are gonna be right there beside me. But you would do it. We are a family.

SPEAKER_00 29:03

No, no, no, right, right, right. But let's say your sperm donor called and said he wanted to have a conversation with you. Would you have one with them?

SPEAKER_02 29:09

Oh no, not at this point. What about your egg donor?

SPEAKER_03 29:23

Maybe. Maybe. It's a big maybe.

SPEAKER_00 29:27

Okay, and why?

SPEAKER_03 29:29

I don't know. Just a big maybe.

SPEAKER_00 29:32

Even after what she did to her?

SPEAKER_03 29:33

That's what I'm that's what I'm getting at.

SPEAKER_00 29:35

I don't care what she did to me.

SPEAKER_03 29:37

There's apologies coming.

SPEAKER_00 29:38

You know there ain't gonna be no apology coming.

SPEAKER_03 29:40

That's why I said maybe.

SPEAKER_00 29:43

She didn't reach out when she was in the hospital, she didn't say a word. She never reached out, and to me that's absolutely unexcusable. It's not there's no excuse. When you're on the shitter, people tick tock, they Instagram, they whatever. You can send a bloody text message while you're on the damn toilet. Yeah, you know, but here's the thing people can share. Oh, my granddaughter's in the hospital, which your sperm donor and egg donor, not sperm donor, your egg donor did. But then, you know, let's put on that narcissistic mask where everybody on the outside world pities them and feels bad for them, and they play the victim card while they're doing their thing, while we're the quiet ones in the hospital praying for another day with our kid, right? And that's the difference.

Black Sheep Roles And Accountability

SPEAKER_00 30:32

And I'm here to tell you the black sheep, that is why the black sheep is the most dangerous person in a narcissistic family because we're the ones who refuse to wear the mask, we're the ones who refuse to buy into the lies and the manipulation, and we carry all the secrets. I mean, like you knew all the secrets about the infidelity on both sides of your donors. Now I am pretty damn sure my egg donor never cheated, like, never, ever, ever could I see her cheating on him, ever. But we all know about the extracurricular activities he did, and he used to use my daughter and I as his excuse scapegoat. And we knew all this. And it's like we are the most dangerous, and that's why they try to keep us all away from siblings. That's why we have no relationship with our siblings. Me or you have relationship with you, don't have them with your siblings, I don't have them with mine. And they try to keep everybody spread apart, they try to, you know, manipulate by saying all the harsh things, and then the siblings only get their side, but they're so brainwashed, and that's not a statement against them. That is not a statement against either side of siblings, but they don't know any different because it's like our norm, and I hate that term, normalcy, is to see like you made such a strong statement like a week ago, and it really resonated so much with me when you said I lived in a household of infidelity. All I knew growing up was all the extra men my egg donor had, all the extra women that my sperm donor was going through. And growing up, I knew no different. And so that's why you had extramarital affairs back in the day, right? Because you knew no different. And that's not a derogatory comment to you. But I mean, when you grow up and that's the norm, that's what you see, that's what you believe is acceptable behavior because that's what you are taught by the people who are put here to protect you. You know, people keep saying, right, people keep saying, you know, your parents are older, you're supposed to, you know, be there for them, you're supposed to support them, and we hear it all the damn time. But what about the fact at the end of the day, yes, we're still parents ourselves, but we're still kids to someone else? And how about why we made the choice to live life and not be consumed with narcissistic behavior, not be consumed with control and manipulation, not be consumed in a web of lies because we have morals and values and and and beliefs. And because of that, we're the bad ones because we're being projected as wait till you hear all they did. You know, like I know for a fact that it was, oh my god, this bitch wrote a book and it's all bull crap about all these lies about me and my wife and my son. But yet you read the book, and the book is 1,000% evidence. And the thing is, is Nargnark who's there, I probably had another four or five hundred debilitating pieces of evidence, and I did not put them in because I never wanted to hurt my brother. And even though he thinks that I hate him and we had this horrific relationship or whatever, because he's only hearing it from one side of the family about I'm this horrible person and I've done all these horrible things, and you know, X, Y, Z. And he there, he again, he's only hearing one side of it. I did not want, there was so much in that book that I could not have known had they not told me certain things, right? And all of it I have proof of. And what hurts me is that if he has read the book, which I know for a fact he has, what hurts me is that my donors have him so set in his way of thinking because they have him thinking that, oh, you know, I don't know how she manipulated that. I don't know how she got that. She must have, you know, they can't say, okay, maybe yes, I did say that, or maybe yes, I did do that, or you know, yes, I did ask her to do in a complete netter background check on the person you were seeing at the time. And I lied to you and said it was an officer who did it because whatever. And the thing is, is that the words that like my sperm donor would say about him, you know, I I absolutely did not want to put those in there to to humiliate him anymore. I wanted him just to see enough. And if he's listening to this, this isn't a derogatory comment to him either. It's not, you know, it the point is is the minute like a year ago when we talked to the biologicals again for a short period of time. Again, here goes the sperm that we're just talking. I had to get him another job because he quit where he was and he can't do it on his own and he can't even wipe his own ass or make his own bank statement. And it's like, you know, do you not take responsibility for any of that? Because I have said from the jump, and you know, my husband can can testify to it, is that at the end of the day, my brother's very smart. He got his masters, he was, you know, incredibly smart, but from the jump, he was not given opportunities that he should have been allowed to have and offered, you know. And so because of the degrading and things of that nature, it's debilitated him in fashions that should not have been there. And it's heartbreaking, it really, really is. And, you know, I just I feel bad because there are things that are not true that he believes, and I am not going to try to change any of that because he's happy and he deserves to be happy. And you have heard me say for years, not only to you, but to my donors, that he deserves to be happy. I mean, have I not said that?

SPEAKER_03 36:47

You have.

SPEAKER_00 36:48

I mean, he does. He's happy, he's married, he's happy where he is in his work, and you know what? I've wished him nothing but the best from the junk. And he doesn't hear that because he hears what they say, right? But then how would I have known all the things had his his parents not shared it, right? But then they don't admit to it, it's all one-sided and it's always against the black sheep, and that's what's so screwed up in this world today. Is take accountability, you know. I take accountability. Have I done things wrong? Absolutely. Have you? Absolutely. Did I do background checks? Absolutely. Did I do it at my own free will? Not exactly. I was asked and then I was demanded on to continue and keep going and going and going, and you know, and it was just like stupid at the end of the day. But I mean, it's like you really don't know how much manipulation a narcissist throws out until you really get it inside look, right? And then when you go back and look, it's like, wow, what I learned from this conversation is there's paranoia. There is, you know, still a massive amount of I have to control everything, it's my way or the highway. Not once in the conversation was, how are you? I don't give two rats' asses, and I don't mean to be offensive to you, babe. I don't care that he didn't ask about you. I don't care that he didn't ask about me. This wasn't about us, it was about her, right? And not how are you? How's your health? How are you feeling? What are you up to? You know, have you written any more books? Have you, you know, done this, that, and the other? You know, not one thing was let me hear what you're up to. You know, how have you been? How is your health? You know, nothing to support or promote anything that she does on a daily basis. And she's a freaking rock star. She is amazing. She is my inspiration. And not one comment about, I'm so glad that you're doing well, or whatever. I mean, the call was even hung up on. And it's just like at the end of the day, I hope your Ben Franklin's wrapped together in a blanket keep you comfortable and happy, you know, and that's just it. And at the end of the day, I I love our home and our life and our family. And the toxicity, you know, is just that it's toxic on both sides. And it's like now it just seems so much more where everybody cares more about what people they'll never speak to again, or you know, what social media thinks, or you know, like they care more about what the mistress of the hour, the ball, the Baskin Robbins 31 Flavors of the Day is, or anything like that, than what the people behind those four walls feel. And that's really sad. That's really, really sad. You look like you're ready for your next nap.

SPEAKER_03 39:46

I haven't had my first nap.

SPEAKER_00 39:48

Well, you you took two or three yesterday. Well, I'm you know, I guess it's just because so many people are just like, but when you come after my kid, our kid, I'm still red, you know. I might have black hair now, but it's still red underneath, right? And it's like I've always there's no one has ever, ever said that woman is not a protective mom, right? Because it's you can't, and it's just like perfect

Protective Parenting And Range Ricochets

SPEAKER_00 40:25

thing. So our daughter a couple years ago, and my husband is gonna say, Oh, no, no, no, don't say this story. My my daughter, a couple years ago, we were getting out of the car to go to her autolyndologist, and she tripped on her shoe and got out of the car and hit the concrete on her knee and got a little tiny boo-boo scratch, like boo-boo scratch. And I mean, I'm a medical mom, and this was not a big deal. It was a little scratch.

SPEAKER_03 40:53

Well, I like my gunshot one.

SPEAKER_00 40:55

Oh, geez.

SPEAKER_03 40:56

So no, threatened me.

SPEAKER_00 40:59

So we she calls him and says, Okay, we're here at the doctor. By the way, I fell 1.6 inches out of the car and got a little concrete, you know, scrape on my knee. My husband, this had to be, yes, at least two years ago, leaves work and drives to the doctor's office. And the girls at the front desk to this day laugh hysterically about it. And you show up, oh my god, my baby, let me see your knee. And her and I, and even the ladies behind the desk, are all like mouth to the ground. What the hell? So don't you dare tell me that you're not Mr. Protective either.

SPEAKER_03 41:44

So, uh about my second gunshot wound.

SPEAKER_00 41:49

Okay, go ahead and tell you that one's smaller than the first one.

SPEAKER_03 41:53

It's still a gunshot wound.

SPEAKER_00 41:54

No.

SPEAKER_03 41:55

Back at the range again. No. Right? No, I got shot again this week.

SPEAKER_00 42:01

This one is smaller than the other one. This one's even smaller. This one looks like a a dot from a pencil like dink, like a dink dink.

SPEAKER_03 42:13

Here's the coincidence.

SPEAKER_00 42:14

Oh lord.

SPEAKER_03 42:14

The guy who shot me yesterday said I was there for the first time you got shot. I remember that.

SPEAKER_00 42:20

You didn't tell me that part.

SPEAKER_03 42:21

Yeah. He said, I'm sorry I had to meet you this way by shooting you. So yeah, at the gun range, I got another ricochet, a shrapnel, came back and hit me. It's the size of a no in my other leg.

SPEAKER_00 42:35

Oh my god. This thing doesn't even like it.

SPEAKER_03 42:37

But look, that one actually made a scar. The first the first one.

SPEAKER_00 42:40

Do you want to compare scars?

SPEAKER_03 42:42

Do you have a gunshot wound?

SPEAKER_00 42:44

That's the only one I don't have is a gunshot wound.

SPEAKER_03 42:46

Well, that's the only one I have. Do you want to compare scars?

SPEAKER_00 42:49

12 stabbings.

SPEAKER_03 42:50

I don't have any. So you can compare.

SPEAKER_00 42:52

That thing isn't even an exclamation point.

SPEAKER_03 42:55

That's that's catastrophic.

SPEAKER_00 42:56

Then what am I? What's all my injuries?

SPEAKER_03 42:59

Global.

SPEAKER_00 43:00

If that's catastrophic, what are my injuries and scars? You're you're just yeah, foot in your mouth, big size 15 shoe. That little tiny thing over there is covered by hair, and unless he moves the hair out of the way, you can't even see it. Pogo stick.

SPEAKER_03 43:17

You get okay, uh that's our show. I'm gonna wrap this bitch up.

SPEAKER_00 43:25

Seriously, you can't even see. I have to cut your eyebrows. Like they're not cut my eyebrows. You told me I could.

SPEAKER_03 43:33

No, I have a little lady at the the I'm gonna take you there tomorrow, then.

SPEAKER_00 43:40

Okay, can I get your eyebrows cut or off?

SPEAKER_03 43:42

No, she plucked them bitches last night.

SPEAKER_00 43:43

Then I'll cut them with scissors.

SPEAKER_03 43:45

I'll cut them.

SPEAKER_00 43:45

Uh uh, you don't cut them, you don't use scissors, you don't use anything. Those things look like cat fillers screwing.

SPEAKER_03 43:51

I use a electric razor.

SPEAKER_00 43:52

Is it turned on? Are you turned on? So good when I do them. They look so good when I do them. I'm grooming you.

SPEAKER_03 44:00

For what?

SPEAKER_00 44:01

For me.

SPEAKER_03 44:04

Okay, let's not Okay.

SPEAKER_00 44:06

Can I just cut them?

SPEAKER_03 44:08

Tomorrow.

SPEAKER_00 44:10

No, because what are you gonna do the rest of the evening?

SPEAKER_03 44:13

We spoke about a nap.

SPEAKER_00 44:14

No. There's something else you shook on eight o'clock at night.

SPEAKER_03 44:18

You shook on something. I'm gonna do it. Uh-huh.

Closing Thoughts And Book Mention

SPEAKER_03 44:22

So thank y'all for listening to Contagious Smile Unstoppable with Victoria Cure. Y'all be sure to check out her book. Oh, here we go. Nart and Ark. Who's there? On Amazon. Bye y'all. Good night. Good night.