In this episode Nadir and Yadira recount their time in the hospital and the unimaginable hardships the hospital staff put them through after their first son was born.
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In this episode Nadir and Yadira recount their time in the hospital and the unimaginable hardships the hospital staff put them through after their first son was born.
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islambytouch.com
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@islambytouch
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Assalamu Alaikum and welcome to behind the Blind. This is Nadir. This is Yadira. And that's Yadira. And we are back. Yeah. Even though you heard the last episode, we didn't really go anywhere. We have to do a bunch of home school stuff today. We got a whole bunch of a lot of stuff to do over the last couple of months. Yeah, but we're cramming this in. We're doing these podcasts. We're going to find a way to do it. I'm saying, like, today. Hey. We're literally cramming this in right before we're heading out to Pot. To co op. To co op. Yes. All right, so let's pick up from where we left off last. We were talking about after Abdallah was born, how you were trying to how he wasn't breathing right and they took him away. Doctor was very cold to you. They had to put him in the ICU. They said that the NICU they had him in the NICU. And that was it. That's where we left off. So wife? Yes. Husband. Do you, Ella, pick up as I figure out get my wires under control over here. Once they took the baby I'm sorry, I kind of yawned. Once they took the baby. It's early. It is super early over here. Anyway, I know it's not really that early, but anyway, listen. Yes. Once they took the baby, I was still in the maternity area, like, where I gave birth because I had to get an epidural for him. And so apparently okay, real quick, just a quick recap. I got an epidural because initially I had this whole plan I wasn't going to get any of that stuff and all this whatever you plan on, love plants and he's great school. You told the epidural thing that you. Couldn'T feel your legs, but the reason they gave me that is because I couldn't feel the contractions, and so they have to augment my labor in order for me to feel the contractions. And then the Pitosin did a whole number on me. So this is the thing, right? Like, if they didn't give her pitosis. I don't think I would have she. Would have not needed an epidural. That's not a knock on anybody who needs it or whatever, because I got an epidural. But yeah, whatever. It doesn't matter. But anyway, in all honesty, you really wanted to do home birth. I did, but I didn't qualify. But anyway, I'll try to fix my. Camera while we're recording this. Look, my camera is all to the side. So my legs are still really numb hours after I had given birth. So they couldn't transfer me over to mother and baby. No, wait, that's the other way. The other hospital baby and mother. No, this hospital didn't call that the maternal ward. Yeah, the maternity ward at the other hospital where I had the other three kids. Oh, wait, I always forget to turn off the lights. Alexa, turn off the garage lights. We're hot. Mess. Anyway, let's see if this actually gets recorded so people can see this, right? So what ended up happening finally? They moved me over. By the time they moved me over, I could feel my legs, but it was still pretty weak. I was just wondering where my baby was. And so I'm hearing them, like I said in the last one, discussing amongst themselves, thinking they're being quiet, but very loudly, that how are they going to handle this? They can't give me the baby because I'm blind and all the other stuff. And they kind of went over that. So then they finally come. This rude doctor, very cold, tells me the baby has fluid in his lungs and that's why he's having trouble breathing. And then he just walks out, no bedside manner, nothing. Doesn't give me any further detail. I'm trying to ask him, but wait, how dangerous is this? How common is it? Like, what's going to happen? What are the next steps? But nothing. He literally left him while I'm in mid sentence. Horrible, horrible. Baby got fluid. Peace out. Yeah, baby had fluid. Really bad. Just left. Absolutely no good character on this person at all. Just like if I was a human being and that's how I treated others, I'd be so disgusted with myself, you know what I mean? Yeah. And obviously, obviously if I was a human being that behaved that way, but being a human being, that I'm not behaving that way. If I was a human being. Again, early. I'm not human. This is fun. I'm going to do more podcasts. Early morning person and I'm not gathered. And it's not even like this guy was trying to be understanding it. You know what it is? I could kind of see the point of these doctors that see this over and over and over again, right? But at the same time, it's like, bro, if you don't know what these people are going through, why do you even have your job? Well, I get where you're coming from. They're desensitized. But part of your medical training is to be able to answer my questions even if you're not emotionally attached. No, of course. Provide me the actual medical, scientific stuff that's going on, you know what I mean? Give me the facts and you could be cold all you want, but just at least give me the facts. But he wouldn't even do that. Again, if I was someone who treated others like that, I'd be very disgusted with myself. But anyway, I mean, whatever. He has to live with himself, so I guess it's misery enough. Maybe he does it's misery enough for him to be him anyway, so maybe. He'S not alive anymore, whatever. So this this awful doctor, he leaves and then it's literally just hours are going by and no one's given me any word on what's going on with the baby at all. I'm barely getting attended. Every time my husband would go to the nurse's station to ask, he was dismissed or ignored or it was bad. Eventually, after hours of dealing with that, I think a lot of it's a blur, honestly. So eventually, I remember we get to. Go see him the first day. I think we did. We did. But it was, like, hours later, and. It was because it's just because we badgered them. We badgered them. And then my grandma and my aunt showed up, and then they went and yelled at the nurses, like, what is going on? And so when they got yelled at, they finally let me go and see the baby. And we're talking hours and later, and this stupid nurse. I'm sorry. I still get really angry about all this stuff. Joan. I hate her. Everybody make die against Joan. Joan, she had no business working with people. Horrible person. She was heartless. So I remember your baby isn't a little isolate thingy. He had all the wires because he couldn't breathe. So he had all the wires connected, and he had a little oxygen mask and all that stuff. And has the little cutouts for you to put your hands in so you can feel the baby. Because you should provide the babies with touch and things like that. There goes the car alarm in the Vic. That's what distracted me. So I would put my hands in, and she would yell at me to stop touching the baby because he was sleeping and don't touch him. And I'm like, but he's my son. If I want to, I'm going to hold his hand. She was such a capital B word. Don't touch him. She was yelling at me, and she was the ringleader, all of all of them. But there was only one nurse that stood out, and she was never there during the day shift. She was only there at night. So I remember that when she would have her shift, she would have minors come get me. And then I would go sit with the baby for hours. So that uninterrupted. And she would let me whenever we could take him out, she would take him out, and I would be able to hold him and stuff like that. But it was also another doctor that was really nice as well. She was also the alternating doctor. So she was there, like, every other day. And so whenever she would come, she'd be like, okay, the baby is ready to go home the next day. No, he's not. And then she would come back and be like, I don't understand why this baby is still here. It was such a backup. And quickly we started to understand the baby was still there. The baby was still there because we were blind. And they kept all of a sudden, social workers started coming in multiple a day. Let's see. Let me tell you how awful this lady Joan was, okay? She was just an awful person. In the Nicarus, there was a couple of babies, but I remember when you first came in, the baby closest to the door, she had something wrong with her blood, and so they had to do, like, transfusions on her and things like that. And I remember it was a young couple that came in, and I remember they were like they were Southeast Asian. Yeah, okay, we don't want to pinpoint. But they were right Southeast Asian. And she was a vegetarian, the mom, okay. And I remember wanting to I didn't even know this one, but I remember when I heard what Joan told her I wanted oh, my God. And more than likely, like, let's say they were Indian. They were probably Hindu, because she was right. They didn't eat meat and things like that or something. I don't know. But I know she was a vegetarian. She was a vegetarian. The lady was like, what's your diet like? But real nasty. And the mom was really vividly upset, obviously. Like, visibly, visibly upset. I mean, come on, bro. Like, you just went through this massive physical thing, right? And your baby is in the NICU. So you go through this massive physical thing, thinking that your baby is going to come, and you're going to hold it, and everything's going to be fine, right? So you're already physically exhausted right? Now they're saying your baby is not fine, and it has to go into the special unit because there's something really wrong, and she needed blood, and she needs blood transfusions. This baby that's days old needs new blood, and now you're emotionally exhausted, mentally exhausted. They would come in, and they would do them a couple of times a day. I remember being there once or twice when they did them, so she got more than one. But this lady, she's like, well, what's your diet like? And the husband was like, Excuse me? And she was like, I'm talking to her, not you. First of all, that was nasty, because he's the father. And she was like, well, we're vegetarian, and this woman is almost in tears. And she was like, oh, no wonder. It's your fault the baby needs the blood transfusions. If you would just eat like a normal person, this wouldn't be happening. Just listen to this, and I can hear it. Yes, she was a horrible, horrible, human, horrible person. And I remember being so disgusted and just like and no one said anything. No one corrected her. No other nurse came to be like, what is wrong with you? Or reported her, because I think she. Was, like, the head nurse. Yeah, she was the head nurse. And so this woman is now in tears because this nurse is telling her this. And her response to the woman crying was, I don't have time for this. And she just walked out. Just absolutely disgusting. Her name was Joan. Anyway. May I love destroy her enemy. Sorry. Listen, I don't care what anybody thinks. I'm going to make diet against this person. It's perfectly fine to make diet against your enemies, guys. So, yeah, may I love destroy that person and not give her anything good in this life or the hereafter. I mean, there you go. I'll say it. I don't care. So this went on for days. I was sent home because there was nothing wrong with me. I was told that he was jaundice. Come to find out later. I'm just kind of making this a little quicker. Come to find out for my pediatrician. When I finally got the baby, we'll get there in a second. His numbers, he looked at the record and stuff, and his numbers were nowhere near requiring the lights. We literally could have just sat by a window and it would have resolved. By he should have gone home. He should have gone home with me. Because the fluid cleared. The fluid cleared. You didn't mention did you mention that? I totally ignore that. No, not yet. No. What happened was hold on, before they even said he was jaundice, the fluid had cleared. The fluid had cleared, yes. I think you should have so that. Monday, which is when I had the baby on a Saturday, and that Monday. We were supposed to come home anyway, right? And so that Monday morning, his fluid was cleared. There was nothing wrong, so we thought and the doctor that was kind to us, she had cleared him and said, he can go home. And then think by, like, Sunday night or something like that, or she finished her shift in the very early until she cleared him before she left. And then that other doctor came in and he was like, no, he's jaundice. He can't go home. I had to go home without my son. That was Monday. Tuesday, I'm back at the hospital, and mind you, I just gave birth, so there's bleeding going on and things like that, exhaustion. So Tuesday, I'm back at the hospital, and it's nowhere near us. So this is a cab ride, this is a lot of work. So I'm back at the hospital on Tuesday. They're telling me that, no he's jaundiced. And then all of a sudden, that's when they really start coming in with all the extra social workers and they start coming in with a bunch of Wednesday. They can help you take care of the child, right? And who's going to do this for you? And it's like what? Wednesday comes, the other doctor says, I don't know why this baby is still here. He needs to be released. I do not understand why he's still here. But the nurses won't like, they just didn't do it. Thursday comes, the other doctor is like, he can't go home. Meanwhile, while all of this is happening, I'm having to pump because I nursed. So they're bottle feeding him, which is making my job harder. I'm having to pump. When you're under stress, your body won't produce the way it's supposed to. So I'm struggling to get my milk to start coming in. I'm having a pump. I'm losing way more blood than I should be because I'm not resting. And I'm back and forth. And so at one point, it might have been Wednesday or Thursday, we're getting ready to go to the hospital to see him. And I almost passed out because I was bleeding so heavily. So Ned, he was like, you need to get some rust and some nutrients because I wasn't eating either. We were late to bring in the baby's milk because I almost passed out and I was bleeding way too much and whatnot. And rather than going to get myself checked out to make sure that I wasn't like hemorrhaging or anything like that, I just went to the hospital to go see him. And the nurse, Jones starts yelling at me that I was late and the baby was crying and they couldn't get him to be quiet, so they had to end up feeding him. And now the milk is going to be wasted and I'm irresponsible and I should have been there on time. And this is literally she's just berating me with all this stuff. And I just had given birth to my first kid. You kind of get sideswiped, you know what I mean? Like, they just come at you and you're just like it's overwhelming. And the thing is, we're already disadvantaged. We're not in the position of power. No. Right? Because we're blind. Because we're blind. So any misstep, like, I can't be like, b, what the f is your problem? Because that's what I want to do. But you can't. But I'm holding back and Dita's holding me back, right? Because I can't lose my kid. I'm ready to go to war, right? I've been ready to go to war a hundred times at this point. But no, you can't come at him like that. They won't let me nurse the baby at one point. Finally, I get to nurse him. But this experience and it's going to get if anybody's uncomfortable with whatever, just disclaimer. I mean, I don't think what you're going to say, breast. Some people are really listen, guys, it doesn't matter. Listen, Islam, we talk about all these things. Nursing is a part of Islam, right? Nursing is literally a part of Islam. So if you're uncomfortable with it, there's something you really need to do about your inner self and understand that if Allah subhana with the allah talks about it, if the Prophet saw asalam talked about it, it's not taboo, right? Go ahead, wife. So I go to nurse the baby, and I'm finally feeling like, oh, my God, I'm going to get to actually really hold him and nurse him. And so this group of five nurses led by Joan comes around. I have one on each side of. Me in front and keep in mind, they're like, talking to her like she's. A baby the whole time. They're like, okay, are you ready, honey? We're going to nurse the baby. Literally, just very infantilizing. It was disgusting. Oh, man. Should we talk about this before we go to home school? Because I'm really getting back. No, because the people at co op are great. You know what I mean? They were also really nice. They've been really accomplished. Anyway, this is really me in the mood. So I have two nurses in front of me on either side, and then I have one directly behind me and one to my left and right sort of behind. So, like, a little bit diagonally behind, not not directly across. And so I go to grab the baby, and nope. One nurse comes in from my left. This is how you know that this was traumatic because I can still and the nurse on my right in front literally takes my arms physically and puts them in a cradle position because apparently I couldn't do that on my own. The other nurse places the baby in my arms. The nurses on the side literally immediately come and put their hands behind my arms that were placed into cradle position to support you. To support me. Wow. And then the nurse behind me, which is Joan, grabs my bare breast with one hand and holds the baby's head with the other. And that's how I had to nurse my son, with this strange woman holding my breast, my body exposed, and this woman holding my son to my breast. And obviously this is very intimate because she's holding my breast until she's over my shoulder the whole time, like, on me. That's how I had to nurse my son. And it was humiliating. And then it's not like the other nurses let go of my arms either. It was humiliating. No one should ever be treated that way. No one should ever be stripped of their dignity to that, ever. And then the thing is, you couldn't cry. You couldn't do anything that would be. Perceived as negative because they would straight up put you postpartum. Right. They would do everything. Hold on. And before this, we took their stupid nursing classes. Yeah. Like Yadira. Literally, we would go and take our transportation, whether it's whether it was a taxi or access link, which is a whole different thing. Access link is accessible paratransportation in New Jersey, disabled people in New Jersey. And it's like you have to have a 40 minutes window so they could show up anywhere within this 40 minutes, and they can drop off other people. Before they drop rideshare thing right, as well. And it's just a disaster. Right. So you're talking about hours and hours of planning and adjusting and doing all these things to go do all these stupid classes from the hospital. Right. And the reason why we did it is like, let's do this. They won't give us a hard time because they see we did this right. But there's still no absolute waste. You have to also remember which I'm going to insert here, okay, which I discussed in my conversion story. There is trauma, there's physical trauma. There are things that I went through that no child or woman or anyone or man should ever go through. So when someone is holding your bare breasts and someone is standing over you in this position of power, there is a lot of go through your mind. And at that point, all those memories hadn't really resurfaced, but my body remembered, okay? And so there was this crazy tension on top of everything else that made me feel like what I needed to get away, and I couldn't understand why. I mean, obviously that situation, but why would you want to get away from, like, you have your son with you. So there was a lot of mental stuff going on there. I'm being literally treated like an object. You're being treated like cattle. Like cattle, yeah. Okay. I got to nurse my son, but they were treating it like they were milking me. It was horrible. Then they took him off when he finally stopped nursing, which he gave a hard time to latch on because they were bottle feeding him, even though I really didn't want to. You specifically said no, but what did they do? They used the whole NICU situation to manipulate them. Right? And then they also gave him a pacifier, which I was vehemently vehemently against our kids. Never. Yeah, we got like I said, you guys do that, do you? That's fine. That's fine. But those choices shouldn't be imposed on somebody who doesn't want them. Absolutely. And that was the problem. Then they took him and they weighed him, and they were like, oh, well, he didn't drink enough. And the thing is, a lot of these hospitals, at least then, their measure of what a baby eats is on formula. It's not the same thing. Not only is it on formula, but bro, like, we've done research on this. Like, hospitals are given formula. Right, but listen, but you're missing my point, okay? They're measured on formula. I'll talk about that. What a baby you can see what they're eating in the bottle is not the same from the breast. And the density of nutrients and fat that are in breast milk is not the same as formula. So in general, a baby will have more formula than they will breast milk. Because think about it. It's like, okay, if I'm eating something that is specifically made for me, right, to give me nutrients to sustain me, I'm going to need specifically you specifically tailored. Exactly. This is Allah spanoatala. It's an amazing thing, right? Like this the fact that Allah pinotala enabled the mother to feed their child in this way. You know what I'm saying? So, again, if you're using formula, you can't and fine, whatever. I'm not interested in what somebody else is. Our preferences, right? This is what I do. However, if you can't measure what I'm doing, you can't use that someone else's measuring stick against what I'm doing. Breast milk and formula are not the same. And so when I'm breastfeeding, my child will stop eating when they feel full, because that's it. Formula. Usually there's a lot of filler. There's a lot of filler. And then babies, sometimes they get overfed and there's a whole bunch of other things. Whatever. And then, like I said, not to mention the fact that they have this mandate to push this formula. Furthermore, a baby's tummy is so tiny, how much do you want this baby to drink? It's so ridiculous. I mean, that is true, right? They do have that mandate to sell that formula. They get incentives and things like that. That's why hospitals always have samples. Not so much anymore. I don't know how it is now. But we have another kid in five years. But I can tell you that where I had the other three kids, that wasn't a thing. Well, that's a whole other discussion. Right? But let's go back to this. This was literally 13 years ago. Yeah, that was really disgusting. And that happened, and they kept weighing the baby, and he was gaining he was gaining weight, and he was doing. Great to the point to where it's our doctor, because did we have Dr. Davis at that point? No, we didn't have Dr. Davis. So anyway, let me continue, because I think I don't know how much time we have left. We're good, we're good. So what happened was he was gaining weight appropriately. He's super unprofessional. And check my watch. He was us gaining weight appropriately, but this is still going on. And so now we've reached this was Wednesday that this happened. And again, I couldn't take my son home dealing with social workers. At one point, they laid the baby on that little portable crib looking thing. I don't know if they still use those, but where they strolled like they pushed a baby around or whatever, and then they were like, okay, let's see you change a diaper. Mommy literally was so freaking disgusting. So I had several nurses watch me change a baby diaper. I'm just baby praise, right? I don't think I was there for that. Maybe I was. One tapped me on the shoulder and, like, two of them clapped for me. It was so disgusting because I changed the diaper. It was, oh, my God, I have nothing good for you. And the thing is, you guys may not understand this point of view, but just say, how did it you've never been so dehumanized. Right? Here's the thing, right? You could ask, have you ever changed a child's baby diaper? And I would have said yes, because I have a billion cousins that I helped change. I've been changing diapers since I was like, seven, because I was very involved in whatever, and so I was very helpful. So I know how to take care of your baby. I've babysat, I've done all this. But if you didn't know this, you could ask and I could have said I took classes or no, can you assist me? And then there's an appropriate way to do so. When I told you, I know how to change a diaper, you should have left it at that. That's it. Because a sighted person no one would be like, okay, we'll prove it. No one would be, well, okay, you said this, but prove it. Let's all see. Come on. All nurses take notes, right? No one would do that to a fully able bodied person. But because when you're disabled, all of a sudden, everyone has a right over your body, over your autonomy, your agency and your dignity, and you have no choice but to be happy with that. You put on a smile and say, oh, thank you so much for you being ever so kind and caring, for. Allowing me to live the meager life. That is acceptable to you, right? Because that's how it's acceptable to you. It's acceptable to you as long as I know my lower status. When you have a group of nurses and you have a group of people treating you that way, that's what that's saying. And what's sad is this is the prevalent thought within the Muslim uma this. Is the prevalence, mind you, these weren't Muslims. No, these were not Muslims at all. But we'll talk about the no help that we got from the Muslim community after Dita is done with this, because. We'Ll go back a little bit. Yeah. So then we did this. Thursday comes and I am home and I'm getting ready to go to the hospital. My cousin was over and my family lived upstairs from us, so my cousin was over, and I think she called me early because she had just had a baby, like a couple of weeks before. And we went to this hospital based. Off of their recommendation because she had an excellent experience. So it wasn't like she sent me. No, the management had changed and apparently it had just gone downhill. Her baby that she had had there, by the way, wasn't the one she had a few weeks prior. That baby was about four years old, so there was years in between, and a lot can happen in four years. So she called me to see how the baby is doing and what the progress is looking like, and I think that was just the last straw, because I remember my cousin was over and I remember she's watching me and my aunt calls me and I start telling her, and then I just lose it. And I'm not someone who cries a lot. I don't and I just start hysterically crying, like the crying that comes from the depths of your soul. And your whole body is just shaking. So I start crying. And the only words that I could utter were, I just want my son. I just want my son. Which got my cousin all shook up because, I mean, imagine watching somebody going through that. My aunt was like, that's it. I'm done. And she hung up the phone, and the next thing I knew, she was downstairs with her car keys in hand. My grandmother was going to watch the baby. She was like, we're going to the hospital. We're taking care of this right now. We're done with this. And I think family really hadn't stepped in because we were raised to be just like everyone else, independent. And you know what I mean? But when someone tells you that, there is a point when family is going to say, I understand that you're independent, but it's our turn, you know what I mean? To help out. Just as a quick example. One time when we went to that Chinese buffet and we came with a guide dog and they were giving you a hard time. We were saying stuff, but they weren't listening. Then my dad got at Chick's Face, right? Because after a while, there's a point where family is like, we're done. We're done with you attacking my family member. Exactly. We're done with them being they tried to be cordial and tried to explain it to you right now. You know what I mean? So my aunt comes in, and we get to the NICU, and the nurse opens the door. This nurse was not expecting it. She really watches. We've never seen this nurse. No, but she opened the door and be like, oh, she won't say, how can I help you? Or whatever. What baby? You see? But she got, like, half a word out, and my aunt literally pushed the door open and was like, I'm here to see the doctor. Where is he? But she pushed it so hard, she almost knocked the nurse over. And the nurse was like, what's going on? And my aunt loudly was like, I need to see the doctor who's keeping my nephew from his mother and his father right now. So that specific doctor obviously knew who he was being talked about because he came out. So they get into a discussion, and she's asking questions, and he was like, at some point in the middle of her asking questions, he was like, I already said what I had to say. And he gets up and turns around and walks away from her, except that my aunt starts following him. And she's like, I'm sorry, but I'm not done talking to you, and you have a lot of questions to answer. And she literally chased him down to his office and got into his office. She cornered him. There was no way that he was going to get away from it. It seemed like, though, which is the sad truth, is that it had to be said that they were living upstairs from us. Yeah. No, okay, let me get to that. Yeah. So she cornered him, and she's getting in the nurse's faces, but by this point because she came so, like, by the way, she wasn't being she wasn't being all very professional, but extremely assertive. Assertive. And they were not expecting any of that. So you can tell that she frazzled them, and so they're scrambling, and then all of a sudden, they took the baby out of the NICU, and they put us in a separate room, and they gave me the baby. No nurses, no anything. So I'm sitting there, but then a couple of social workers came in and kept trying to weigh the baby, because they were like, well, every time he ate. And my uncle was like, this is ridiculous, because you know what? We're not going to keep doing that. We're done weighing him, okay? We're done. So at some point, the baby goes, not for an app. We go for lunch, and we formulate a plan where we go downstairs, and she was like, Listen, we're going to have to tell them that we live upstairs. I remember because you agreed with her, and I was the only one who was, like, on edge about it. Like, I don't want they were like, Listen, you want them out, you got to go with it. Tell them we live upstairs. Tell them we're going to be hands on, and they'll give you the baby. Well, I'm literally having, like, an anxiety attack reliving this right now. That's me, right? Like, I don't even know. I'm not okay. But there was a point where I wouldn't even talk about this story, and then when I finally did, I couldn't get through it without crying. I've gotten to a point where I can discuss it, but I'm not okay. I'm angry, and I'm not okay. We ended up coming up with the spine. We go upstairs, and of course there's another social worker. I swear I think we saw no less than between six to eight social. Workers in the hospital altogether. Maybe 15 from whenever the first when I was pregnant. Maybe 15 different social workers, because everyone has a different approach, and they all try to sell you on the idea that this is perfectly fine. Nah, bro, get upstairs again. Then they're trying to make me feed the baby, and they were like, we'll try feeding him the rest of the because he nursed, and he didn't want to nurse anymore. And they were like, Try feeding the rest of the breast milk from the bottle. And poor baby was like, gagging and stuff. And my aunt was like, we're done. So she takes it, and she spills it down the sink, and they come back, and the nurse was like, oh, he finished. And my aunt was like, he sure did. He finished it. It was ridiculous. The baby didn't want anymore, like, you were going to make him throw up. He was full. I don't know. Hours pass, social workers come, and then a nurse comes in, and she starts saying all these things about whatever, and then we were like, we don't understand why the baby's still here. He's been cleared. He doesn't have jaundice. He doesn't have fluid. Like, there's no reason. And then at one point, she's like, well, see, the thing is, we need him to get back to his birth weight, because when babies are born, they have a weight. And then I've got inflammation and water retention and stuff, and they lose a little a couple of ounces here and there. Not a lot, but a tiny bit within the next few days, they gain it back because they're eating and things like that. My son, she said, we need to get him back to his birth weight. The thing is that he had gained weight more than when he was born. He was higher than his birth weight. She was like, So we need to get him back to his birth weight. I was like, So you want the baby to lose weight because he's gained weight? And she's like she starts flipping through the papers, and then she sees that I am correct, and she's like, well, and that's what NAD that is like, see, here's the thing. We need to make sure that you're not keeping our son because we're blind, because his parents are blind, because if that's the case, then you'll be speaking to our attorney and then my uncle's like, yeah, so let us know, because the next people you're going to be talking to is our is an attorney. So what's? She's like, no, that's not it. Okay. And she was like, I'll be right back. And she left. And then nobody came to bother us for the next couple of hours, and then we brought the baby back to. The NICU, which he shouldn't be in anymore, right? Like, he shouldn't have been in that NICU after Monday. No, he should have been home. He was cleared to go home. Yeah, but I'm saying that was their game, right? Keep him in the NICU, because that's going to convince them to keep him here. But if he was fine, right? The fluid cleared on Sunday. The fluid cleared Sunday. The john des. Didn't need the light. Yeah. If anything, he should have been in the normal nursery, but they had to figure out a way to show that, oh, he has to be here, right? Friday morning, early in the morning, I get a call, and they're like, which is the what? Neonatal intensive care unit. They were like, Friday, very early in the morning, I get a phone call, and they're like, you can come pick up the baby. We have his papers ready, or they had to do his decision. Yeah, because they still didn't do that. Right? They still didn't do that. And then I know that people have their views on that, but we're Muslim, so that's what we do. Yeah, exactly. So they were like, he has to get that done. And as soon as that's done and he's cleared from that surgery, you can take him home. And we were expecting nothing, right? We were seriously expecting absolutely nothing. We were not expecting. I didn't take anything because here's the sad part about this, okay? Every day, I would go expecting to be able to bring my baby home. So every day, I would go with the car seat with his little clothes to dress him in. Every day, I would have to come home with an empty car seat. Now I'm getting emotional. And his little pajamas that I had, and they had little sheep on them. Sheep. They were like a Carter's Brand, and they were fleece because he was a winter baby. And they had little ears on the feet. I remember all of that. And a little white onesie that was supposed to go underneath it. So every day, I would have all this packed, and every day, I would have to bring it back home. Every day we go to bring the baby, but my cousin, she's like, I'll take you guys. And so we end up going he ends up getting his surgery done. At that point, when we show up on Friday, I kid you not. They were avoiding us. No one would talk to us. They wheeled in the baby and left. They gave me instructions for the Circumcision, like, how to take care of it. Only because my husband was like, I'm sorry. This is our first kid. So what's the procedure? They barely spoke to us. No Joan. No Joan anywhere. No jerk doctor. Yeah. Nowhere to be seen. Nothing. Nowhere. These stupid people. Got to hate these people. So no one's there. I get the baby dressed. A nurse literally comes in and throws the papers. The discharge papers literally just kind of throws them towards me and walks out. They are so mad that blind people are taking, like, this is the thing, right? This is the thing. How many times have we heard of horrible stories of parents that have neglected their kids and have done horrible things to their kids? And guess what? They went home. Nobody batted an eye. No. Right? Nothing. Because we're blind. Because we're blind. They gave us so much crap and hated the fact that we were going to take our child home. Nobody talked to us. I got the baby dressed in the little outfit. We took some pictures. My cousin took some pictures of him, and I put him in the car seat, and Ned grabs the car seat, and we're walking out, and we're passing. The nurse's station, and we're waiting. I'm still waiting for someone to stop me. No. Yeah. We're still in fear. We did this very quickly, by the way, because we're like, let's hurry up and get this baby out of here. Before they do that. Before they change their mind. Yeah. So on the way out, we say bye to the nurses and we're like, yeah, look who gets to get home. I kid you not. They didn't even look at us. They just completely ignored us. And my cousin was like, wow, they're rude because they didn't even look at us. They were just like, whatever. So we left. I was still terrified. I'm walking through the hospital, we take the elevator. I'm still terrified. I finally leave the doors, and I'm still feeling like I didn't breathe a sigh of relief until we left the door. And I knew they couldn't follow me. And I knew he was finally mine. He was coming home with me. And I remember we stopped at Waltmart because we had to pick up a couple of things and I waited in the car with him while you and my cousin went out. And I just kept had the little blanket over the car seat and I just kept lifting. We could say, Jen sub. Jen. How you doing, Jen? Jen is awesome. You're going to listen to his podcast eventually. Jen I just kept lifting up the little blanket and just feeling his hands and his little face, and he was mine. And I had him. And I remember because I looked at him and I was like, I will do everything in my power and I will make my due every day that no one takes you from me or any children that I have until this day. It's still something really traumatic for me anytime that you know what I mean? It happens. And in reference, by the way, circling. Back to what you said, hold on, we don't got time. We got to stop. We have to stop right now. Why? We have 40 minutes. All right, well, this is going to. Take like five minutes. It's ten, seven. We got to go. No, you said we're going to circle back. We'll do that. We'll mention that in the next episode. We'll talk about the Muslim community, we'll talk about the blind organizations, we'll talk about all that and we'll start talking about Newham. Yeah. All right. That was exciting. So we will what that? Pregnancy. That what that pregnancy? Noah's pregnancy. Oh, yeah. There you go. Yeah. You thought this was exciting? Wait, just wait. All right, so on that note, make sure you guys follow and subscribe to all of the stuff. Islam by touch stuff, right? Social media is social medias and all that. Instagram. Twitter, YouTube. We're going to start posting on more videos on YouTube. I know I said that like three times, but I promise eventually it'll happen at some point. Yadira. How could people follow you at Always Yadira? And I'm not going to say anything about that on everything, right? YouTube and all that? No. Simpsons quote is pretty serious, right? I don't know what to say. I have no idea. It's fine. You have one. No, it's you know, we thought that everything, you know, would not possibly go wrong. Possibly? Possibly go wrong. That's the first thing that's ever gone wrong. And there you go. So anyway, guys and In Sha Allah, you guys enjoy. And make sure you join us next time when we take you behind the blind. Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh