Being Blind Parents Part 3

In this episode Yadira and Nadir talk about the lack of support they had while going through their issues during Yadira's pregnancy with Abdallah. They also discuss how they avoided future discrimination based on their disability and Yadira's  roller coaster pregnancy with Noah.

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Transcript

0:12

Assalamu Alaikum. Welcome to another episode of behind the Blind. This is Nadir and this is Yadira. What up, wife? Not much. What's going on? Every bus, co op and whole bunch of stuff. Yeah, let's get right into it. Yeah, let's get right into business. So we left off with we finished. All those hold on. Let's talk about why. So we're not doing a video this week. Oh, yeah, we're not doing a video. Usually we record these, but I don't know, man. Things are just, like, piling up on each other. Listen, some of them may be video, some of them may not be. It just depends on where we are in life, pretty much, and how busy we are because the camera takes a lot. Diet has got to go get dressed. Properly with all the COVID and all the accoutrement. Accoutrement. So some of them might be video, some of them might not be. This one is not. Yeah, this ain't going to be a video because I was like, yo, we need to record a podcast. Let's do this. Yeah. All right. So we left off at Coming home with Abdullah. Yes. That was the last day we were. Finally able to bring home our baby. Yes. But we're going to backtrack a little bit because once I had been given those antibiotics that were like, trying to kill me, we had those killer antibiotics. That nobody knows what they are. They are anyway, because you don't want. Your enemies to know your weaknesses. So we had an appointment. By this point, we already knew we were having a baby boy, and we already discussed, like, how we went. And the doctor blindsided us with who's going to say, here your baby? You obviously can't because you're blind. And then that's when the whole barrage of social workers started coming in. And so we were dealing with all that and a misdiagnosis of gestational diabetes. So I had not met the numbers properly with my first. When you're pregnant, you get a sugar test and the numbers didn't come up right. And then apparently when I took the second sugar test, they said, yeah, it's fine. Fast forwarding just a little bit. When I went to my next doctor and we got my records from the other hospital. We'll get to that in a minute. I will just allude to this real quick. Those doctors were like, I have no idea how they said those numbers were fine because these are diabetic numbers and you should have been monitored and given treatment for gestational diabetes and you were a high risk pregnancy. And so that was just not treated or addressed or acknowledged or anything that kind of just let that all go. So Allahu Alam. If Della having the fluid in his lungs was due to any complications with the untreated diabetes or anything to this, they don't know if it's unrelated or whatever the case may be. I just wasn't treated for gestational diabetes when I should have been at that hospital. On top of everything else, they're more concerned about taking my son from me than actually giving me medical treatment that I needed and that he needed in order. I needed the treatment so I could be healthy for him to be healthy. All that was going on was the fluid in his lungs. But still, there was a lot of risks there that they just didn't bother addressing because they were much more concerned about me being blind and being told, well, you're going to get genetic testing, and if your son is going to be blind, you do have options. Which is insane to be told that. But anyway, all right, we move on. We're going to go back a bit, aren't we? Yes. So again, going to these doctors and being told that we knew we needed some help, being told, like, who's going to take care of your baby because you can't because you're blind, we knew we were going to need some help. So we reached out to the NFP, which is the National Federation for the. Blind of the Blind. Of the blind. You got of. Yeah. Okay, well, this is of blind. And the other people that we reached out to was the Muslim community. So on both fronts, we received absolutely not a single bit of help before we went. There was a convention going on in New Jersey in November. I had the baby in January, so it was much closer to giving birth. So before that happened, it was literally just a couple of weeks after the encounter with the doctor and all that stuff, but was being really discriminatory and things like that. There was an office that I don't know if it was a lawyer's office. I think it was a lawyer's office. It was on our block, but it was a lawyer's office. It was a Muslims lawyer's office. And it was affiliated with the community. And so I figured if they can't help me, they should be able to direct me to someone who can because, well, it's a lawyer's office, and I'm sure people know each other and it's part of the community and someone has to be able to help. So while El Ned Did was at work, I went to the office with my previous guy dog, Andrea, just around the corner from us. So it was a really easy walk or whatever. So we went and I explained what happened. And they were like, well, I'm sorry to hear that, but we can't help you. There's nothing we can do for you. And I just remember standing there thinking, this is just another which is insane, right? Like, just straight out, we can't help you. And I'm like, I mean, at all, there's no one that you can contact? And they're like, well, no, we don't know anybody who can help you. There's just no one that we can help you. I got the very keeping our dot. And that was like it's super. That was it. Generic and not cool, man. Yeah, that was it. And so I walked out from there and I remember I just walked up a couple and I kind of just stood there really letting that sink in. Like, the Muslim community again is not here for me. And this time my parenthood is on the line. I don't have a community. There's no one here for me. And Ned that had been in contact kind of here and there with whoever was in charge of the New Jersey. We were told, we'll come to the convention and then you can meet this person and then we can discuss how we can help you. So they were giving us a sort of false hope and so we went to this convention literally only and for the sole purpose of meeting with people and under the assumption that we were going to get assistance. The whole convention passes. We never meet with the person because it was always the reason why they couldn't meet. We couldn't even contact them through any means. And we left there again with no support because no matter how much we tried to reach out, we kind of got run around. And at the end of the day, no one ended up helping us out. So we went to this hospital with really no community and no support, no legal anything. Just us too. First time parents and I had been reading up on all these different terrifying cases of parents who were blind in different states, who had their children taken from them and placed into the foster system just solely based on their blindness. Some of them had gotten them back, but with like supervised there was one couple who did get their daughter back, but someone had to go and move in with them and that was the only conditions they were able to get. There, which is insane, right? Others just never got their kids back and they didn't necessarily remain in the foster system, but they were handed over to other family members and under no. Circumstances could the actual parents raised the child by themselves. Yeah. So you have all of this terrifying information and no support from any community and you're going in and you know you're being attacked. And the doctor who's checking me to see how dilated I am and what's going on is that while she's checking me, she's asking me all these questions about how am I going to take care of a kid and what am I going to do with the baby when the baby gets soiled. And what am I? All these questions. I'm in the middle of labor again with fellow's labor. I had to have it augmented. So for a lot of this chunk, I was also under patilson. So patilsin is no joke. In excruciating pain and still being asked these questions and not being able to answer probably because labor trying to give birth. Want to be asked questions. Whenever she first wakes up, she's trying to push out a watermelon, right? So that's what was going on. But again, there was no support from the community. And I think that was just from either side, just an affirmation of you're going to have to take this on, just you and your husband by yourselves. And in the end my aunt came through and that was a huge help and things like that. But I mean, in terms of community, we had none for any parent, but especially first time parents who are blind, that's a terrifying no one should have to face things like that alone. You shouldn't. And as much as community is touted, it just wasn't there. You know what I mean? It's very superficial when I talk about it, the idea of community and we're supposed to be there for each other and all that, it's super superficial. We have now a lot more positive, I guess, reception from people, but it's a mountain. It's not just an uphill battle or climb, it's a mountain. Okay. And that we're trying to traverse here. And what ended up happening is being afraid and realizing that there was no community. We decided that we would actually that's that's windella was about a year old. Okay. So another thing I want to share that's kind of vulnerable, I guess. And he was the only child that I dealt with it, but I guess due to all the trauma that I had endured, I had postpartum depression for him and I have three more kids and never had it again. So I had postpartum depression for him and it was really, really bad. I remember when I started coming out of it and it was around November and he turned to that January, so I should have gotten treatment for that. But the fear of somebody questioning your parenting because of that and then on. Top of that, I'm blind or whatever, there was no way that I was going to reach out to any doctors, to any more community members, either from the blind community or from the Muslim community. I had to do it alone. I relied on my grandmother a lot during that time, and she really was there for me during that time. I was able to get through it. But when Della was about a year old, you know, these fears are still very real and I'm like, there I don't want to be questioned on things like that because I was sitting like, when he goes to school, this is going to happen all over again. So one of the reasons we chose to home school was because I really don't feel like being questioned on my parenting just because of my disability. And they will do it, and they have done it. And I know a friend of mine who is blind. I think I mentioned it briefly before, and some other. You mentioned, like, the incident in passing. That's what you mentioned. You didn't actually mention who and what. Yeah, but I'm not going to give her name or anything. No, of course, but she has two. You'Re not me, no, I give everybody name. She has two children, and both of her kids are disabled. And one of the boys, just two boys had a peanut butter stain on his shirt. Now, that can happen to anybody, any parent. Your kids are going to get dirty. It happens. They're kids. They're kids. And so either she didn't realize it or it happened during lunch, which most likely it happened during lunch. She didn't send her kid to school dirty, but it happened during lunchtime. And so someone called CPS on her. She didn't lose her children, but she had to endure months of proving that she's a good mom and that her, you know, that they're both good parents based on her kid having peanut butter. On his shirt, like and for those who don't know CPS's, child Protective Services. Yeah, peanut butter on his shirt, a peanut butter stain. It's so stupid and ridiculous and just unfair and to be told, like, well, people are just concerned, or maybe they're not acting out of ill will or it's not really discrimination because the intentions and it is discrimination. No one else gets to rewrite that narrative unless you're living it. You don't really get to write the narrative. And it is discrimination. And there's no reason why she, a perfectly good mother, an excellent mother, had to endure that. And eventually everything was cleared and dismissed, but that still left those scars, and a parent's worst nightmare came to fruition, so to speak, because an ignorant person decided, well, there's peanut butter on this kid shirt. Obviously it was someone from the school, is the assumption, because it was done anonymously. But so they know the parent is blind, so it's discriminatory, period. There's no way around that. And so when you have those things, a lot of times you don't really want to reach out or whatever. And so I didn't I didn't reach out and get the help I needed. I read a lot and learned a lot of coping mechanisms and relied heavily on faith and my grandmother, and we made it through. And I nursed that whole time because I nursed each one of my kids for a little bit over two years when they decided that they were done. So we decided we were going to home school, like when that was a year old. And then we also decided that we were going to space the kids apart a little bit more, and we waited a little while before we decided that we would try to have another baby. And when we decided we're going to try to have another baby, it happened. Immediately because that's how we work. And I know that's a struggle for a lot of people but Alhamdula, for us, that just was not an issue. I'm telling you, bro, I can't look too long in your direction. You're just going to be pregnant. It's weird. And I feel for people who have struggled and women who have struggled with getting pregnant and conceiving. I can only imagine that that's a very large test and a very difficult struggle. So my boys are not quite three years apart. Noah was born in December and abnormala turned three in January. His pregnancy, I was tired, really fatigued, unusually fatigued. And so by this point, Ned Did and I, we're not going to go through that again. So we switched hospitals. We did a lot of research. We did so much research. So we switched doctors. And when we showed up at the. First appointment because we interviewed hospitals. Yes. We didn't just go, no, we interviewed. Hospitals, we interviewed doctors. It was a huge process. Mind you, we were never going through that again. Right? We were doing this before we even got pregnant with Noah. We just started talking about it. So when we finally felt that we had enough information on the rebels, then that's when we started having a baby. And did it happen right away? But the first appointment that we showed. Up to one more thing. We also had an amazing pediatrician at this point. Oh, yes. I have to acknowledge that he's retired now, but he was incredible. And he was the one that was like, your baby didn't need to go under the lights. His numbers first for John, this were not even close to that. You could have just sat by the window. This was afterwards. Yeah, of course. And as soon as we brought him in, they were trying to give him some really expensive formula. And I was like, I really just want to breastfeed. He was like, So don't do the formula because your kid doesn't need that. That's it. Don't do that. He was amazing. He was amazing. And it wasn't like one of those doctors just kind of you go in and go out. Like, he knew all my kids and what they liked, and he knew us, and he was an excellent doctor. Could not ask for a better one. I still don't have a pediatrician like that again. No, but he was incredible, and so was the staff there too. It was the whole staff, the nurses, even the secretaries. They were just so being armed with all this knowledge. When we started coming with a pediatrician, like, we came in guns blazing. So when we came into the first appointment, we literally had a stack in a folder and just laid it out on the desk. Like, this is on the little table where you're supposed to sit before I even sat down. We got all this information about parents with disabilities, our rights, all of it. And so the doctor was like, okay. And then at one point, she was like, well, the hospital here is not going to be an issue, but the hospital may want to have a social worker visit your home. Was that for newham? Yes, that was for new. Okay. May want to visit your home to kind of make sure I said, is that standard protocol for every mother when they give birth as a social worker, go to their home and examine every mother? Is the standard. She was like, well, no. I said, well, then that's not going to happen. We're not doing that. And because if that's the case, then you can just go ahead and speak to our attorneys from now and then we can take it from there. That was the last time we heard of anything. And then a few months in, I got diagnosed with gestational diabetes, and that's when they found out that I had been untreated for Abdullah. And so then by that again, that's another high risk pregnancy. So then I had to end up going to that hospital where I was going to deliver all the time, especially when you're diabetic, especially towards the end, you're going like twice a week, once to the hospital, once to your regular doctor. It's not like the normal procedures. And before even you get to that, you're going every week either. You're alternating between the hospital and your regular doctor. So it's a lot. It's a whole lot. There's a lot of monitoring that I did not receive for Della, but because I had been going there and I was being treated at the high risk center or whatever, they were very familiar with me. And we also made it a point to contact the head of the labor and delivery department and all that stuff, and we were like, ned had said you weren't going to trample all over. We came prepared. Like, we came heavily prepared. So a couple of months in to the pregnancy, you got diagnosed with diabetes. So we got sent to go to a nutritionist, right? Yeah, dietitian. Dietitian, diet. Sent to a dietitian so that they can help formulate your diabetic meal plan. And how did it on my numbers, I was able to control them with diet, so I didn't need insulin. I tended to have an issue with low blood sugar, more than high, so my sugar would randomly drop really, really dangerously low, pretty frequently. So I was at my dietitian's appointment, and that morning, I had left Abdullah with my grandmother, and it was just supposed to be a regular appointment. I should not have taken that long. But we go to the dietitian, and we take the train. We take the train. We had done all this on the train? Yeah, because at that point, it was either taxi, bus, bus, or train or train. Like, there was no Uber, or we could have taken the access link. Access link. But, you know, I might have missed my point, explained all of the issues with access link before. So we took a train because we did a lot of trains. And living in the East Coast where we were living, that was just easy. I mean, everybody took rather than being on a bus. Yeah, especially the hood buses. Right. And so tell stories about the hood buses. The 24. 24. Oh my God. Anyway, so we took the train back from the hospital home. For whatever reason, this train did not announce the stop and the conductor didn't come by. So we missed our stop and we. Ended up ended up in Jersey City. I think we ended up at some point in Jersey City, and then from. There we had to take no, we ended up in New York, I think, because I know at some point either we ended up in Jersey and took the train to New York. Yeah, I think we ended up in Jersey City and then took the train to New York. And then we get to so that. We could take the train back. Because there was no direct train. We're trying to figure out the easiest way to get back. So we end up in New York, which is not bad. It's annoying, but it was like a 30 minutes under 30 minutes train ride back home. So it was fine, we thought. Anyway. So we get to New York, and I don't know what happened, but apparently all the signals were down. So all the trains were shut down. There was no trains leaving New York. So into Jersey. What do we do now? So we figured out and we took the path back into Newark. Newark. And then we make it into Newark. And at this point, it's like a stop away from New York. No, we make it into Newark and then we get into the train. No, no, no. This is what I'm saying. Newark is a stop away. Yeah. Super close. Yeah. So it's just at this point, it's a long, long day. I hadn't seen my son. I was missing my son. And my grandmother was like, wondering because I've never ever if I tell you I'm going to leave my kids for this amount of hours, I'm going to leave. That's it. So it's not like me to just take longer than I should. So we get into Newark, and again, there are the problems with the signals. It wasn't just in New York. So we're just standing in that train full. And there was this one lady with a Caribbean accent, and she got so mad, and she was like, you she was yelling up. There was a group of men sitting down. And she just starts yelling at them because I'm hugely pregnant. And they're just watching me stand there, not, not not getting up for me. She she makes one of the guys get up, the guy who was sitting next to her. And she gives me the seat. And so I'm sitting there now that I'm standing. We're just waiting and waiting, and it had been like half an hour by this point, and I was exhausted, and it was cold, and we were like, you know what? Let's just take a cab home. We're in Penn Station, so let's just take a cab home. So we get up to go take a cab, and welli, I still don't know how it happened. I take one step and I slipped. I stepped out in front of you. Yeah. And I slipped, and I did not have my dog with me at this point. I think she was sick or something because I didn't bring her with me. And she was already starting to show a lot of health issues. Yeah. Because it was around after Suhaila was born that you got the new dog. Well, yes, and I put her down when I was pregnant with but anyway, I didn't have my dog with me, and I slipped, and I felt between the train and the tracks all the way down, and I slammed my stomach right onto the tracks. Onto the platform? Yeah. Right. Like, the tracks, the platform. Your feet didn't hit the tracks? No, because it's still pretty high up. Yeah. But I was literally wedged between the train and the platform. Yeah. And you could completely through. And so, Nadine, very quickly, he grabbed me from one of my shoulders is all he was able to grab from under my shoulders, and he's screaming for help. If he wouldn't have grabbed me, I would have slipped down to the bottom in the tracks. And I'm trying to hold on to this platform, but there's really nothing to hold on to. Nanda is screaming for help and holding my shoulder, and all these security guards rush over, and they lift me out, and I'm just the whole time like, oh, my God, my baby, the baby, the baby. And then a few minutes in, I realized I don't feel him moving. And this was a really active baby, and he's not moving the baby. He's not moving the baby, you know, nor he right. He's still like that. He's been like that since I was pregnant with him. He would not stay still. And I'm freaking out because I don't feel the baby. And then all of a sudden, I start contracting really bad. It sent me into early labor because when I hit the platform, it was my whole body weight full force. It was a really hard hit. So this is whole freaking, freaking out. Everybody's kind of panicking. They lay me down on the platform, and they're like, do not move. You can't move until the ambulance comes. Like 45 minutes later, they come. But in the meantime, ned goes into this, like, state of shock, and he's just sitting there, not I'm trying to talk to him, and he's just not responding. He's, like, looking into space, and he's just not responding. I think it was the sheer shock of watching his wife fall down a train. I think I was just because you. Were just in so you just wouldn't react. I was in, like, super alert mode. You know what I mean? Yeah. Just trying to be protective over you. Right. Because I can tell you, that's pretty shocking. So I'm laying there, and I'm like, I got to call my grandma because I'm in labor. There's no way around this. And I fell off a train. So I called my grandma, and she's like, oh, my God, where are you? Dela has been asking for you. And I'm like, okay, mom, are you sitting down? And she's like, Why? I'm going to tell you something. I'm telling her all this in Spanish. I'm going to tell you something, but you can't freak out, okay? And she's like, oh, my God. She's always freaking out. And she throws the phone, and I'm like, oh. And I can hear her running around the house screaming. She didn't even know what happened yet, by the way. So then my aunt comes to the phone, and she's like, what is happening? Because mom is literally running around with her hands on her head, screaming and freaking out, and no one knows why. And I'm like, I didn't even tell her why. She's like, what's going on? And I'm like, typical mama reaction, right? Totally mom reaction. And I told her. I was like, I fell off a train. I fell off the train trying to get off, and I slammed into the platform, and I'm being taken to the hospital because I'm in labor. So of course everybody's worried. They take me, and finally, 45 minutes later, the ambulance finally arrives. It's the hood. So they don't respond quickly. This is Newark. Yeah. So it's like, 45 minutes. Almost an hour later, they finally what's. The name of the hospital? I can't remember where they university. It was university. Yeah. So that's where we go. We go to University Hospital. So they take me there, and they start giving me stuff to try to stop the labor. And it is they put you in. The they put them in the labor and delivery because they had me prep to give birth. Okay, wait. Now we got to tell a story. I know. Hold on. So they give me a bunch of different things in the IV to stop the labor. It's not working. So they're like, we have to give you steroids. Steroids. Because if you're giving labor, his lungs. His lungs. Yeah. He's not ready. So we have to mature his lungs very quickly. And steroids would do that, but they didn't tell me that steroids will also throw your sugars through the roof, and I mean sky high. That complicates things. They give me the steroids, and then my sugars go crazy.

This is around 09: 24:48

00 at night, I think, when we got to admit it, and I got to admit it. And now we're here. At midnight. And honestly, the only thing that I was like, I wasn't dilating, but I was contracting really bad. And they were like, and if you start to dilate, there's no stopping the labor. So they were giving me stuff to keep me from dilating. Around midnight. We're still there. Labor is still going strong. And Ned, it goes he's been talking to his best friend, and I was talking to my close friend at the time. I'm talking to Mark. We got to drop. His name is Mark. This is my good friend Mark. He's one of my closest friends, like a brother to me. So they're talking, and he's like I'm like, Go get my friend. And Ned is like, okay, Mark, we're going to go get her friend. So he drives from Far because he's living up in North Jersey. He goes and they pick her up. Which is like, wait, mark comes to picks me up? Yeah, to the hospital. Then they go, like, another half hour or so, 40 minutes out, and pick up my friend and come back. And then now, oh, my God, I. Got to tell this story. Okay, so let me set the scene. So we're coming back to the hospital, trying to find Yadira's room. Now, I'm wearing okay, I'm wearing a black hoodie. I'm wearing a black tap out hoodie. I can remember it right now. I'm wearing a black tap out hoodie. And I used to have a black leather trench coat. Man, I love this trench coat. God, did I got to get another trench coat. Black leather one. Need another one. I think you bought me that trench coat. Yeah. So I love you for buying me that trench coat. Awesome trench coat. So I'm wearing all black. If anyone knows me, they know I am generally in black, dark gray. This is my dark colors. That's it. Dark colors. Dark neutral color, right? Very plain, nothing fancy. So I'm wearing a black hood. I'm wearing the hood over my head because it's cold. It's very cold. October. Yeah, it's October. Like, this is like, two months before the baby's supposed to be born. I'm wearing my black hoodie with my black trench coat. And we're going into the thing. We're going into the labor and delivery delivery area. So I go into a room, and I think, this is the room, right? I got Mark there with me. And I'm like, you know how usually the labor and delivery rooms, they have a chair for the dad to sit in, and the chair is like a recliner. Yeah. So I go to the chair, and it's reclined, and it's reclined. I'm like, what the hell is going on here? First of all, I sit down. I lean over the belt like, hey, Dieta, I'm back. No, before that, you kicked the chair. No, I didn't do that before that. Dita. Why would I kick the chair first and then say, Dita, I'm back. No, I went up to I tell the story, not you. Okay, good. So I lean over. I'm like, hey, Dia, I'm back. And then I'm like and then I go to sit down in the chair, and the chair is like, is reclined. I'm like, what the hell is going on? So I kick the you know, like the recliner part that's out. I kick it down. Like, I step on it to come down, and some dude pops up. He sees me all black, you know what I mean? Like, I'm dressed by the way, I'm sure you terrified. That woman leaning over her all in black, like I'm back. She's like she's like asleep, like half asleep, and the dude is asleep on a chair. And I'm like, what the hell? I'm like, oh, my God, it's not my room. And I turn around, mark is gone. Mark and my friend, they got to the room, they left him, and they burst into my room hysterically. What is happening? I'm apologizing profusely. I'm like I'm blind. I'm so sorry. I did not my wife is in like the next room over. Oh, God. And I just leave. But they had left you behind and they couldn't even tell me what happened. I'm like, they are dying. Like hysterically dying. Dying of laughter because of that. And I'm like, what did you do? Until he tells me. And I'm like, oh, my God. And he's like, I know, I'm mortified. He's like, oh, my God, I can't believe I just did that. Oh, man. So that was an interesting thing. And then we're kicking it all night, right? And I think, honestly, all the laughing and things like that relax me. And I have to around three in the morning, the labor finally stops. So you're still there? Yeah, you're still in labor. Delivery until the morning. Your friend stays with you. And me and Mark go to the chapel, like a little prayer area, and they have chairs there. So, man, we try to sleep. That didn't work. That didn't work. We slept. We got maybe half hour, hour in something like that, right? Then you go to Duncan. We go to Duncan. We go to Dunkin Donuts? Like. I'm hungry. You're hungry? There's good bagels or something. So we go to Dunkin Donuts and there's a dude in front of us. I don't know what this dude is. And is an Indian guy behind the counter. South Asian guy, right? And the guy buys something. He buys like a bagel or something. And the store guy gives him the bagel, gives him one napkin. He's like, Can I get another napkin? Can I get more? The guy gives him another napkin. Then the the dude that's that's buying the bagel reaches over the counter this is the hood, right? Reaches over the counter and just like takes like 20 napkins one at a time, like and then he's walking away. And then the the South Asian guys like, hey, buddy. And and the other dude was like, a mother effort. This is my hood. I was like, what the hell is right here? Like, it was, yeah, this is my hood over here. And the other guy is like, yeah, right. Yeah, that's right. And then the other guy's like, man, come try me. I dare you. Come say something. Trust a napkin over napkins, bro. And me and Mark are just staring at each other like, what is happening on right now? Oh, my God. They come back with the food, and they're like, that story, right? So then I have to stay because my sugars are out of they can't control them. So then they put me on some medication, which I got off immediately after I left because my dietitian and my whole diabetic team was like, you need to get off that right now. You don't need it. That happened, and then I stood another night, but they brought me by the way, the hospital food you get is just not even diabetic friendly at all. I got a bunch of carbs and a bunch of stuff that I shouldn't have been eating. It's all I had. And because you're diabetic, they're not going to give you anything else. So I go to the bathroom and I come back. Okay? Just like you said. You were like, yeah, I can't eat this. I can't eat this, but I have to eat it. No, you just say I can't eat. This, but I have to eat it. You're not going to make yourself look good here, sir. And I'm like, I use the bathroom. I go to the bathroom. I'm just trying to not even two minutes, okay? I come back out, and this lovely husband of mine had given my food to Mark, and he's just sitting there eating my food. And I was like, you ate my dinner? Because she goes to the bathroom. Mark is like, I'm starving. I was like, Well, Deeta said she doesn't want to eat this. I said, I can't eat this. So you eat it. He's like you shirt. I'm like, yeah, bro, she's diabetic. She can't eat bread and all this. He was like, all right. I'm like, you're eating my dinner. And he was like, oh, sorry. But he had a full mouth of, like, mashed potatoes. Do you want it? I'm like, no, I don't want it, as your germs all over it. So my husband gave my food away, and then I couldn't eat anything else. Yeah, so I didn't eat dinner that day. Thanks a lot. No problem, boy, come back. Your spaghetti and mobiles are getting cold. Quiet, you fool. And they can be hours, right? Run, boy. Run for your life. You gave my dinner away, boy. You got your Simpsons references. Him. I needed to give away the spaghetti and mobiles. I said another night. The next morning, they wanted me to stay again. I'm like, no, I'm done. And I had already been in contact with my diabetic team, and I haven't. Called them until we signed out against their board. Like they didn't want us to leave because they're there. They know that NJ Transit is paying for it. Right. You know what I mean? I got out. I went home against medical advice. And I'm dealing with a whole bunch of crap from my job because I'm missing work like crazy. Right? So that's fine. And then like, two weeks later, Sandy hits. Oh, my god. That's right. Oh, my God. Sandy happened when you were pregnant with new heat, too. Yes. And so Sandy was a Hurricane Sandy. For those that aren't familiar with Hurricane Sandy, it's a hurricane that hit New Jersey in the East Coast. New York. Hit the East Coast, but hit New Jersey. And it hit hard. So the state was out of power, a big chunk of the state lines. The whole state at one point was out of power. And then it's lines crazy getting gas. Like the gas stations were running out of gas. Yeah. Right? So when Hurricane Sandy hits, the power goes out in the house. It's freezing. Remember freezing. And so freezing cold, I decide that I'm going to start just making oh, my god. And we had just gone to Sam's club and got a bunch of food and meat because we kind of just usually rack up. And then we don't buy it as often. At least we used to. Yeah. So we just racked up on a whole bunch of frozen stuff. Yeah. And it's all going to go bad. And it's all going to go bad. I start cooking. Just cook to keep warm. I was in a coat, and I put Dela in this super warm outfit. And then I put a coat on him. And he had little gloves on and everything. And it's just all dark. And I'm just cooking just to keep the house warm. I'm talking to Mark. We're talking about this whole thing. He's like, yeah, I got power. I got my power back. This was after no, because this was not immediate. This was like three, four days of this. Yeah. Of doing that and just being cold. And he got his power before us. Yeah. So he comes to pick us up. No, no, wait. Let me tell you the story of that. So so Mark is like, yeah, I got power. I was like, bro. He was like, listen, you guys come stay with me. Because even my parents didn't have power, right? He said, you guys come stay at my place. And he was like, listen. He was like, I don't know if I can get gas. I barely got any gas. He's like, listen, if the gas station has gas, I'm coming to scoop you up. Said, all right. He gives me a call back. He's like, bro. So I barely waited online. I filled up my gas and I'm on my way. I said let's do it. How did it last? Right? Picks us up, mind you, before that, he's, like, kind of looking at me like I'm crazy because he's kind of stumbling around because it's all pitched pitch black, and I'm over here gathering things and moving normally, and he's like, this is insanity. You're crazy. So we finally go halfway to his house. I told you guys, like, my sugar always dropped. Halfway to his house, my sugar drops, like, to the point where I can barely get word. Plunges. Just plunges. Out of nowhere, plunges, drops, plunges. I was able to kind of mutter, like, I need sugar. I need sugar. And Mark looks back, and I'm completely pale, like, there's just no color. And so he's like, Holy crap. And he pulls over like a maniac to this gas station, runs in, and there's, like, a lion, and he's, like, grabbing a Snickers bar and a Coke, and he's like, I need to get this. I need to get this. My friend, she's diabetic, and her sugar just plunged, and the person in front of him was like, oh, my God, just go. I'll pay for it. So the person in front of it paid for it, and he ran out. And basically, by the time he got to the car, the candy was unwrapped. He just crammed the candy right into my mouth. Because you kind of have to your muscles start cramping and stuff when that happens. On the way to his house, we finally get there. We stay there two nights. Dela pees on his bed. Dela peas on his bed. Meet me and Mark Stamp all night playing WWE he gave me and Della. His room, and they said because it was a one bedroom apartment. Yeah. And they sit in the sala. Della pee's on his bed because he was two. We buy a whole bunch of stuff, right, so that DA can eat, because they're a diabetic diet. And then me and Mark go eat wings when you guys were asleep. Yes. And then the next day, they take Della to a playground so I can get some rest, because it was a playground nearby. And they bundled him up in his coat and stuff, and they take him, and he's playing and stuff. We set at his house for, like, two days. And then your parents got power, and then we went and stood there for, like, another three days. It was like, ten days without power over by where we were living. And finally, after, like, three or four days at your parents house, the power came on, and we were able to go back home. But that was all in October. That was a crazy, crazy month. Yeah. And we're hitting our limit. Wife. Awesome. Yeah, but stop here. Okay. I was just quickly going to nothing really happens after that. After that, it kind of happened to us. No, we got to tell the story of whenever you got you're ready to give birth. Is that what you're jumping to? Yeah. All right, let's do it. Matt always complains to me, why is your episode so short? Why are your episodes so short? Let's just keep going a little longer. So I get everything is cool. Everything's cool. The doctors are great. When you're diabetic stuff, everything is great. I get to the hospital because I have to be induced because it was the day before his due date. And when you're diabetic, you can't go past your due date due date. They won't let you because there's a lot of high risk stuff. So I get induced. What didn't put your blood sugar up? Chinese food. Yeah, I ate a lot of Chinese food. Chinese food did not put a pizza. Forget about it. I couldn't even look at pizza and anything in a wrap. It even could have been a spinach wrap. It was dumb. But Chinese food, no problem. I could eat all the Lomaine I wanted, and it wouldn't do anything. So I ate a lot of Chinese food. And we are at the hospital. And unlike Della's labor, that was, like 20 hours. Noah's was only 4 hours. Hold on. So I'm preparing for like he brought his laptop. I bought a laptop. I downloaded a bunch of Simpsons episodes. He's ready. And then he also gets something. I got a sandwich. And he sets himself up on this station. I'm ready to go. Like, I'm ready for the long haul. I got snacks. Yeah. And I'm just like I ring for the doctor because I'm like, feel like I have to she had just checked me, like, ten minutes before, and I'm like, I have to push. And she's like, but I just checked you. And I'm like, but I have to push. And she's like, you know what? If you say you have to push, I'm going to check. She checks, and she's like, oh, wow. It's showtime. This baby is ready to go. And my fool of a husband over here, he was like, but I just set up, and I just got myself a sandwich. I wanted to kill him. And the doctor looks over, and she was like, well, too bad. Put your sandwich away. It's time to go. She was like, this is ridiculous. I was so upset. If I was not giving birth, I would kill you right now. Not his finest moment, I got to tell you. He had a couple of those this time. Listen, this is my sandwich, all right? Like some kind of Italian chicken sandwich. And I was excited anyway with roasted red peppers in it. Sandwich. No, it didn't take long. Like five minutes or something like that. And the baby was out, and he was all tiny. And I remember because he's the only one of my kids that's blonde. And now the doctor was like, oh, my God, he's blonde. Because it doesn't make sense. And him to that everything was fine. The doctors were really supportive. The hospital was great, and that went a lot smoother than dullas. So that was how Mr. Noah came into this world, with that craziness Sandy, the train, the diabetes. You needing to eat a sandwich. I had to have that sandwich. You giving my food away, me kicking. You kicking strangers, going into strangers. You went for a delivery room. I guarantee you, you scared the crap out of that lady, and then you kick that man's Jeep. Oh, my God. And me and Mark were driving the nurses crazy in the postpartum thing. Oh, my God. Man, we were loud. Yeah, they were the annoying god, we had fun, though. They were the annoying guys. Hold on. Last story before we go. They're showing you all little baby things. And the nurse comes in to explain how to take care of the baby after he's circumcised. Mind you, I did tell her I have a son at home who's been circumcised. I know how to do this. But it seemed like this was like a routine thing. It didn't seem like this was yeah, because you're blind or anything, right? No, but I kept telling her, I know how to do this. So me and Mark are just sitting there, right? Tita is there with the baby. No, the baby wasn't even there. I think the baby was something. I don't know where the baby was. They were bringing him back from surgery. Okay, so he was finishing like, he's recovering. So me and Mark are sitting there. I'm on my phone, he's on his phone. And then the nurse is like, okay, so I want you to grab my finger. And I was like, I really don't need to. No. She's like, no, grab my finger. Right? But I'm saying it sets that story because the whole time, I don't know. This is what she's saying. I know. And it's awkward because I'm like, no, I really don't want to. No, thank you. She puts her this is what he misses. She puts her hand in mind whether I like it or not. And I'm like, I really no, thank you. Now she's like, So hold my finger. Now pretend it's the baby's penis. And I was like, you know what? No, I know how to do this. I had a son that will serve. I thank you. Thank me. And Mark is like, don't look at me. Don't look at me. Don't look at me. So I just start laughing, and he just starts dying. And we are literally, to this day. I still get mad. These idiots. We literally slid off the chair and. Fell on the photo on the floor, laughing. And he was like, Get out. I got so angry, I was like, Get out. Get out, get out. And me and Mark are crawling out of the room because we can't stand because of how funny it was it. Was already really awkward for me because I was already telling her no. Oh, my God. And instead of being supportive, these two I have nothing nice to say. Oh, my God. They literally crawled out of the room. I was so mad. It was one of the best moments. I kicked them out. I've ever lived through. I kicked them out. It was amazing. I kicked them out because at that point, I was just done with them. Oh, my God. Get out. And on that note, we'll end the episode. And she was like, well, I mean, you have a son. I was like, I've been saying this. I've been saying this. I've been telling you that I know how to do this. Thank you. And the nurses, like, in all reality, we kind of saved you there with that interruption. We saved you, so you should be thankful. You think so. No, you didn't. Yes, you did. No, you didn't. We saved you. Nay did. All right, guys. You fell on the floor laughing like two children. Oh, my God. I was like, Get out. That was one of the best things ever. And then I was super angry because you're all hormonal after you give birth. So I probably was over the top yelling at them to get out. You really were. Get out. And I kicked them out. You know what? The thing is, the nurse the whole time was unfazed. I'm sure she's seen craziness and angry moms who had just given birth. I couldn't deal with them. Get out. That was the best that was so funny. They brought the baby back, and I got them dressed, and I didn't let them back in the room until they were ready. Like, if you can't come here unless you're going to behave and be quiet. And we broke it, like, five times, right? We just couldn't. Oh, God. It's like somebody gave us laughing at. I was so mad at them. Yes, that was Noah. So next time we'll share Suhaya. Suhaylas and possibly sumeas depending. Yeah, well, anyway, guys, we'll get to Sumayas. Is just will it be in the same episode? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Well, anyway, guys, thank you guys so much for listening. And of course, please make sure you subscribe and follow please subscribe and follow the podcast. You could check us out on Apple podcasts on Google, podcasts on Amazon. You're trying to ignore me and all that. Spotify is being jerks, so don't check us out on Spotify. They're jerks. You should ignore me. Make sure you subscribe to the YouTube channel. at Islam by touch. And of course, podcast is behind the blind. Please share it. Guys, we really want to be able to get more listens and more views on the YouTube and all that. So please share this around. Share this on your socials. Share this with people that you know. Let them know that there are two blind Muslims telling their story here. And it's an interesting story. It's an interesting story. Yes, it is. And Yadira. How can people follow you at Always Yadira? Yes, you can follow her at Always Yadira. You can always follow Yadira at always Yadira because she's always Yadira. We're done. And you could follow on all the social. Same thing with the Islam by touch, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, all that stuff. 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