Ed 0:00

So yeah, just remember five minutes of fame. Uh your social standing depends on it. So yeah, let's do it. Hey all, this is Ed.

SPEAKER_05 0:16

And this is Laura.

Ed 0:17

And this is your day's dumpster fire. Oh boy. I don't know if that worked right. What do you mean? Um I I I'm looking on our our tracks here and like our little like intro theme is like pegged out to the top. Like it is like blown out. So um it's like all just like uh yeah, it's like okay, well, um I guess we'll uh I'll just turn that down and see what happens. So yeah, uh welcome everybody. Uh you probably noticed that our intro sounded really, really weird. It didn't sound weird to me. What's going on is both Deja and Kara are adulting. So they have like birthday parties to go to and house-sitting stuff. I think Deja is house-sitting a dog. So she may steal the dog. I don't know. Uh, we may have a dog in the pod lab now from here on out. I who knows? We'll find out next week when uh Deja's back. And then, of course, uh Kara has a weird sense of priorities. Apparently, it's her husband's birthday, so it's like she would rather spend time with her husband for his birthday than record. Yeah, that's just I don't know. Uh, we'll we'll talk to her. We'll have maybe maybe we'll have like an intervention. Like, yeah, Laura and I will sit down and and talk to uh Kara and be like, hey, where are your priorities in life?

SPEAKER_05 2:17

It's just like a one-on-one.

Ed 2:18

Yeah, just a one-on-one, just like, hey, like this, this, this isn't gonna work. So in the meantime, we have a special guest on here. Hopefully, our little special guest. Uh I would say hardly little anymore. She's like dang near the same height as me. We have my oldest daughter on here, Ilara. I've known her her entire life. I I remember when she was born, she was the one that farted the loudest in the little incubator room, like she was in the little tub, and she just ripped one right in the middle there, and then like all the nurses were just looking at me, like you sick, sick man. Why would you do that? I'm like, uh-uh. No, I'm pointing at I'm I'm pointing at you, OLAR, like you're a little burrito with a head poking out. Uh like, uh-uh, that that's right. I know that's my daughter. Like that, that's all me right there. So we have our our my daughter on here, and uh she um she's got a really interesting topic. I feel like you've been through it, I feel like you've you're seeing this day-to-day in your personal life. I feel like you are you know you experienced it yourself, and now you're a little bit of an expert on this. So what is it that what is it that you are getting into? Oh, and and for the trash can fire, um I I forgot to tell you, Lara, every episode we do a trash can fire. You but you well, you've heard the show before. Uh every uh you've you did hear the show. Uh you Yeah. Oh.

SPEAKER_05 3:56

Yeah.

Ed 3:57

Cool. Yeah. That's awesome. Um so uh every episode we have a trash can fire, which is like not a dumpster fire, but it's a smaller fire in our personal lives.

SPEAKER_01 4:12

All right.

Ed 4:13

And the one that I have uh is we have recorded Deja's episode like two to three times now, and every single time I've messed it up. Um so what we've decided to do as a podcasting team is I went and bought myself a fancy mixer, and it's got all these weird uh, yeah, it's got all these like super features on here, it's got all these settings, it's got just a whole myriad of settings, and I cannot convey enough just how much I have no idea what I am doing. And I have been watching YouTube videos, I have been watching or reading instruction manuals, I have been, I've had my youngest daughter in here tinkering around with this thing, and um, I think I finally got it working. So Ilara and I are actually in our recording studio. So I'm hoping I got the settings right, but it seems like every single time I've tried recording on this thing, the past few episodes, it it comes in like where Kara is non-existent. Uh, it comes in where I'm just loud, on top of me already being obnoxiously loud as it is, and then like Deja is only coming up on my microphone, and I'm only coming up on her microphone, and I so yes, this trash can fire is borderline dumpster fire. I would I would even venture to say that it's gotten into like a landfill fire, so it's uh or a tire fire. So it's uh uh yeah, before we just recorded everything online, we used apps that were like uh the the equivalency or the equivalent of like think of like a zoom meeting but on steroids where it does a very high-end recording of all of our voices, but we're not in the same room, we can't see each other, we can't read each other's cues, and we're recording like a 10 o'clock at night, and I'm like doing everything in my power to keep Deja and Kara awake, and then when they're going, and then like the other host is like trying to keep me awake, and this way we can all be in the same room, and I can screw everything up at once. So that's my trash can fire. It I I am I'm hoping it doesn't bleed into another botched up episode. But if you haven't seen any episodes come out like in all of July, that's why. Uh, and then you know, it's a bug flying around. I had to die for a while, and then Deja had to die for a while, and yeah, it's it's it's been yeah, July was fun. So here we are, we're back in it. I think I got the mixer working again, and or working going forward, and um, and so yeah, let's get into your topic, Alar.

SPEAKER_05 7:18

Alright. Um, so I wanted to talk about something that I have unfortunately, like you said, became familiar with. Um and it's affected, you know, a lot of my life, and I've seen it in other people too.

Ed 7:37

And it is the big the the big like the fad diet.

SPEAKER_05 7:44

Yeah, just like the the perfect diet. There we go. The big everything that the thing that everybody wants, the thing that people try and accomplish, and it's been it's been so ingraded into our culture. And I don't think people talk about how it can actually affect somebody in a very, very negative way.

Ed 8:11

Well, and I and I I think a lot of this has started because of social media. Yeah. So like well, back 20 some odd years ago, when I was in high school, like, yes, girls were always self-conscious about self-image. Um, and I noticed that like the fad diet thing really affects girls a lot more than boys. Yeah, it is like it, it is it's pretty bad. And but when I was in high school, there was no social media. There was nobody posting pictures of their like, you know, oh hey, I weigh 110 pounds and I'm blonde haired, blue-eyed, I I'm I'm so skinny, I'm two-dimensional, like I turn sideways and disappear, um, living my best life, and all that kind of stuff. Like, when I was in high school, there was none of that. And so, like, finding a teenage girl that had a uh a recognizable eating disorder was pretty rare. And if somebody did have an eating disorder, like the whole school knew about it. Everybody, everybody knew, like, oh, it's that that girl, she she's going through it. Thankfully, uh, the the groups of people that I hung around, they weren't too like we didn't make fun of it, we didn't target them. We could tell when somebody was going through uh an eating issue, and like, but that's not to say that girl wasn't experiencing stuff. Now, nowadays, when we look at it, like it's everywhere, it's all over social media, it's it's everything, everywhere, all at once. I was listening to a podcast where it was really diving into is it uh is social media really negatively affecting teenagers? And I would say it is. Yeah, it it's it's really building a false expectation in terms of like what is reality and how these girls are supposed to look. And and I don't know, I mean you don't really spend a lot of time posting on social media, but are you on social media a lot or your friends are?

SPEAKER_05 10:22

And I could even argue too, like I think it boils down to a beauty standard, but I think that social media just let that beauty standard be like presented more often and easier because ever since like the dawn of time, there's been a beauty standard, like you know, in like ancient Rome and all that stuff, there was this like figure that people would look up to, and that's what like you know, you can't be happy unless you look a certain way. And then I think that when social media became big that those ideas were able to be presented way easier. I think that's why it's more common today, but it's like disgusting to me um how popular it's gotten and how normalized it's gotten.

Ed 11:11

Well, yeah, especially I mean I mean, you've studied world history, you you go back in time and uh and you look at the earliest statues that were made. We're talking thousands of years before the Greek statues and stuff like that. And a lot of these cultures would would make these statues of women and what they considered beautiful, and they were thicker, they were heavier, they were uh, you know, back then there was a time period where the heavier set the woman, the better. Yeah, because that that man thought that, like, hey, they they have the resources, they have the physical resources to make healthy babies. And it's just so interesting that over the course of the thousands of years, how it shifted to skinnier and skinnier and skinnier, uh, to the point where even like supermodels, uh, I think there's laws put in place where supermodels have to uh they actually have to adhere to a specific diet plan because in the 90s a lot of them were malnourished and they were eating like a piece of cabbage and half a skittle for for lunch. And um but no, I mean back then that was what you saw on TV. Now these teenage girls are opening up their phone and they're doom scrolling, and it's just one after another.

SPEAKER_05 12:41

And it's like a it's like a domino effect almost too, because you see these girls getting to these weights that are super unhealthy and like skin and bones, and you go to school and you see these girls, and you're like, oh, she can do it, then I can do it. And it gets so normalized to be so thin and unfortunately the ways you get that thin can ruin you. But you know, but to these people, it's almost it's it's healthy to be that weight. It's you know, they will never acknowledge that they're unhealthy. They will look at you who maybe be like overweight in their eyes and be like, oh, you're unhealthy, you're greedy, you know, they so they associate you with gluttony and things like that. And they're here, like, you know, you can you can tell they're like suffering, but they're like projecting it on you, and you feel like you have to fit into that standard. And I me personally, I've experienced it ever since I was in second grade. You know, I'll just look in the mirror and things like that, and I'd be like, oh, I'm not normal. I'd get made fun of a lot because of these girls, even though these girls were not eating enough at all. And they're being told that they're healthy because of it by doctors, their parents, everything. And you know, this idea of being healthy is such a priority that people have. And I think that because it's such a priority, I think it's been misshapen. And I think that it's not even, you know, our standard of healthy isn't how it's supposed to be.

Ed 14:37

Yeah, well, and what I what I find so interesting is that you were experiencing this in the second grade. Yep. And I remember you in the second grade. You were by no means what I would consider unhealthy. I would you you were nowhere even could be comprehended as or fathomable as overweight. When I think of uh overweight second grader are those kids that already weigh like 200 pounds.

SPEAKER_05 15:09

Yeah.

Ed 15:10

In and where they can barely walk, kind of a thing. That to me is overweight. And that that's usually tied to like a uh thyroid issue or genetic thing.

SPEAKER_01 15:21

Yeah.

Ed 15:22

So it's as strange, or I don't want to say strange, it's just it's as crazy how that's already been ingrained at the age of uh being a second grader, because when I was a second grader, none of this would come up, none of this would be a thing, none of this would have ever uh like I I I don't recall any second grader ever being picked on for being overweight, and I think a lot of that ties into uh with the idea that a um they second graders have access to social media.

SPEAKER_05 15:59

Yeah. I mean I had I had access to social media, I mean my friends did, and um the more prevalent it got, then the worse it got for me and other people. Um I mean when I got into third grade, I started to get some friends that would compare their body to mine. And I remember having these sleepovers with all these girls, and they would literally be like, Oh, let's go in the bathroom and just like compare our bodies in front of this big mirror. And that was just normal. That was just a normal thing when it shouldn't be.

Ed 16:34

I think a lot of what is going on as well, uh what you know, especially when you see in social media, because I'm you know, I'm in my 40s, I'm an old, I'm an old fart now. And like I'll I'll go onto social media, and I kind of fall victim to this a little bit too. Uh, you know, I see people that are in their 20s and they're like, oh, today I'm in I'm in Beijing surfing, and then like next week, oh I'm in the the you know, the the Cayman Islands, and then oh I'm in Hawaii, or and it's just like how is it that you're 20-something and you've already had a more interesting life than me? And and so like even me being an adult, now I didn't get into social media until I was you know like 30. So by then my brain had already had already been developed, it's solidified. Uh a lot of teenagers, when they're getting into social media, their brains aren't solidified yet, and they're you know, they're they're being heavily influenced by this and they're being hardwired, and then when they do reach that point where their brains aren't really developing anymore, so like 18, 19, 20 years old, they've had these negative self-image things burned into their brains, and now we're seeing a trend of you know, Gen Zers and even Gen Alphas are they're they're struggling with the whole self-image thing, and uh you know, go going back to for me, like yeah, I I gotta be careful of this myself, of what I follow, and that we're all human, okay, and we're all looking for the easiest solution to uh how do I want to word this? An easiest solution to the most complex problems, right? We just default to it. We just we're like uh look at Ozempic, right? Yeah, people are hey, this is a diabetic medication. This is for people that uh can't process sugar, but they're discovering that people are taking it because it is helping them lose weight, and it's one of those things, it's like, cool, I can just take this medication and I will lose weight.

SPEAKER_01 18:51

Yeah.

Ed 18:52

Or, you know, with these fad diets, like uh I I've seen it in my previous job where like everybody lives off of protein shakes, and you know, they they eat super healthy, and oh, let me tell you, after lunch, that bathroom with all the protein farts and just you know, the they'll they're eating like microwave salmon, and the whole office is smells like asparagus, and it's oh oh, it's awful. But they're trying to like find this easy, quick diet to fix everything.

SPEAKER_05 19:28

I mean, I and that's something I want to touch on. So there's something called orthorexia, and a lot of people, it's not uncommon it's literally like if you have a diet, you have this mindset. So orthorexia is not something you are diagnosed with, it is something that is a kind of like a sub like thing that you have. And it's basically where you associate food with being clean and dirty.

Ed 19:54

Oh, interesting.

SPEAKER_05 19:56

So like people will, you know, like, oh, I can't eat this. This is too greasy. This is not this is not good food. This is not good for my body. This is not that's why when I was like in like treatment for this stuff, they're like, this is why you do not associate food with being good or bad. Because that's not a mindset you should be having, because it you can take it so far. And like I see it in people all the time. They're like, I'm starting a diet, I don't eat, I only eat clean foods, I only eat vegetables and fruit, and I'm trying to like cut out carbs and fats and stuff like that. In reality, you still need those carbs and fats, you cannot just cut those out.

Ed 20:38

Yeah, and I think a lot of people too, like you you know when you're going to McDonald's and you're getting that double quarter pounder with the uh large coke and the extra large fries. You could go into any McDonald's, and I don't think anybody would in there would say, like, oh yeah, this is exactly what my body needs, this is healthy for me. You know, uh anybody who's in a McDonald's understands that, like, okay, this isn't this is not good for me. Uh, but then we're also really, really good at rationalizing in our head, like, well, how often do we have it? And I so I think everybody to a certain degree has an idea of what they're supposed to be eating. And you could go ask, you know, 5,000 morbidly obese people, like, hey, how do you how do you live longer? How do you lose weight? And they're all gonna be like, eat more fruits and vegetables, you know, protein, avoiding fat, cholesterol, or reducing it. And I and I think it's one of those things that's so fascinating how human beings understand. Like, every human being knows that what we're supposed to do, and but we rationalize it away in our head that oh, it's no big deal. I mean, I'm just having it like, you know, once a week or Or whatever. Yeah. But then you've got the issue where you can take it too far.

SPEAKER_05 22:06

Yeah.

Ed 22:07

And I think that's where I I think that's where people are looking at these fad diets and they're like, okay, here's a fad diet, right? Keto, or you know, whatever. Like, all I'm gonna do is just eat protein. And I'm cutting out sugars and carbs and all that stuff. And so they're just living off of meat. And they think that is like the end all be all. It is, you know, the keto diet may work is if it's like 75% of your diet is more protein, and then 25% could be something else. I'm not a dietitian, I'm not, yeah, I'm not sure it works, but uh, you know, like the intent of the, and this is kind of where the dumpster fire comes in, the intent of the original diet is supposed to be like a long-term thing, moderation, uh, being careful. But then the human in us is like, okay, I know I'm supposed to have some carbs in my diet, I'm supposed to have some sugars in there, uh, I'm just gonna go gangbusters, and it's 100% me until I'm down to the weight that I want to be. And I feel like that that that's where things go sideways.

SPEAKER_05 23:16

Yeah, and it's been proven too that most people who start a diet they don't keep it up. They usually go back to their old eating habits. And I take that as a sign of like because those diets are not good for us, our body knows it. Like, it's not to the point you're like, you don't really care if you're not skinny and unhealthy, because your definition of unhealthy is eating too much. But you know, if your body is telling you, like, hey, like, I need these carbs, I need this, like please, I I I need these sugars, because we do need sugars, and we need these fats, like I think that's just almost like a sign that like you know, we need to start the this change, this change the definition of this healthy standard that you know just because you're skinny does not mean you're healthy.

SPEAKER_02 24:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 24:08

And like it doesn't mean that you're if you're skinny, it doesn't mean you're unhealthy. If you're overweight, it doesn't mean you're unhealthy. You know, it it depends on your body, but I think that society, we just make it that, oh, skinny means healthy, that's it. There's no exceptions, no nothing.

Ed 24:24

Yeah, and I and I and I think it kind of goes back to that idea that we want to simplify our problems, right? We'd it for we want to I well, I mean, look at like I was talking about my trash can fire. I I mean I've got a laptop, I've got this crazy mixer doohickey with all these knobs and sliders, and I have no idea what idea what I'm doing. And a part of me just wishes like, is there just a button I can push that will set everything up automatically, that will do everything for me, that will prevent microphone bleed, uh, that will auto-adjust everything. You know, uh there's a part of me that wishes it just, oh, okay, cool. I don't have to worry about it. So there's a part of me that wishes there was something like that. And and there are devices like that. In fact, I think there is a setting on here somewhere that's that's like that. But the problem is is that it's not 100%, it is not I it's gonna clip voices, it it's it it it's gonna pick up my voice differently than yours. So, like, yes, there are ways that you can look at a diet and think like, okay, I am just going to live off of bananas for the next six months. And yes, you will you will lose weight because you're just living off of bananas, but then it's not gonna check all the boxes, it's not going, it's not, it's not going to account for all the micronutrients, the macronutrients, it's not gonna account for all the minerals that you need, it's not gonna account for uh all the stuff that the human body needs, and it and there is no simple pill. There is no simple thing that a human being can do that like okay, if I just take this one pill, all my problems go away. It doesn't work like that.

SPEAKER_05 26:16

And I feel like that's just like a representation of just like life, you know? Like even if you just got like that that button that just does it for you and everything, it's just it boils down to like, do you want that? Do you want the easy way out of everything? Yeah, and I feel like at first, like everybody's like, yeah, like I don't want to, you know, do hard things. Like if I had the choice, I would just do the easy way out. But I think there's something about taking the hard way and learning it, yeah, and then you know, being like, okay, now I know more, now I can do so much more.

SPEAKER_02 26:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 26:54

And you know, that's why like people will take these pills or they will just not eat and things like that. And they try to take the easy way out of it. But in the end, you get these i you can you can die from it from this easy way out. There's people who will uh like these unhealthy coping skills of like starving yourself and then binging and then taking pills, or like you said, the Ozempic thing has been really big, uh cutting out all carbs, all fats, uh throwing up the food after you eat it. And what happens is you because you did that easy way out, now you are yes, you may be skinny, you may have gotten to the point you wanted to be, yeah. But you're gonna end up hospitalized, dizzy, you're gonna end up nauseous, collapsing.

SPEAKER_02 27:54

Yep.

SPEAKER_05 27:55

Like you get a feeding tube, and your mental health just crashes.

Ed 28:00

It's I think that's probably the first thing that would be a red flag is you seeing your mental health decline as well as energy levels. Actually, I think energy levels are probably the first thing that oh yeah that that go way down. And um and and and kind of going back to what you're saying before, like, yeah, we can take the easy way, but I don't think you really learn anything from that. No, I feel like, you know, for me, like, yes, I can I can find an application, I can find a device, I can find something that will make my job as a podcaster infinitely easier. But boy, let me tell you, this journey that I've gone on of everything from using like a $20 USB microphone all the way up to like this crazy setup that I have now. Yes, it's cost a lot of money, but have I learned so much taking this hard way it to the point now where like I can go up to somebody or somebody can come up to me and like, hey, I want to start a podcast. How do I get started? I know exactly what to say, I know exactly what direction to point them, I know all the budgets, all the price points that you know I I can get anybody now into a podcast because I've gone through that harder experience experience.

SPEAKER_05 29:19

You know the experience, you have the human experience to tell somebody that you're like, okay, well, when I tried this, this is what didn't work, and this is what worked, and this is like you know, it's a trial and error uh thing.

Ed 29:32

And for me, um, I tried to take the easy way out of losing weight, and I asked a lot of people what my behavior was like in that moment and how it affected people, and they would tell me like you looked miserable, you were always tired, you're always angry, you were going through all this stuff, and I think you saw too, like my mental health just well, me being a school teacher, I've been trained, like when you go to college to become a school teacher, you take courses on how to identify students that may be not eating healthy or you know that they may be homeless, it's not like something kids advertise a lot. Um, like we are trained to be able to look at kids and be able to tell, like, okay, there's something not right here. But they don't necessarily train you on how to approach your own child. So I remember you were like you you would be in your room for days at a time, and I'm just thinking, like, ah, it's just teenager stuff. Like, they really do, like teenagers do like to be on like separated, they want to be, they they need privacy, they need their own time. And but I was not seeing firsthand what was actually going on.

SPEAKER_00 30:59

Yeah.

Ed 31:00

And I think anybody who falls into this diet uh or a uh a a self-image issue, they do a great job concealing everything that is going wrong. I feel like that's that's a huge part of it. Uh, because you're probably you're you're probably telling yourself in your own head, like, oh, this is how it's supposed to be.

SPEAKER_01 31:25

Yeah.

Ed 31:26

Like, oh, okay, I'm losing weight. I'm dizzy every time I stand up, or I haven't peed in three days, or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 31:36

Yeah.

Ed 31:36

And uh, but you're again, the human brain does such a great job rationalizing everything.

SPEAKER_00 31:43

Yeah.

Ed 31:45

And it's like its own worst enemy. And then the other thing, too, I've discovered the human body is really good at covering things up. So, like, you could you could uh I'm not saying this you, but anybody could be like, okay, I haven't eaten in three days. Oh, oh, look, I've lost five pounds. That justifies me feeling like crap. And that rationalizes it. And then your brain kind of goes down this path of a like a self-fulfilling prophecy where it's like, okay, I'm going in this direction. I feel like crap, but I feel better knowing that I'm losing weight.

SPEAKER_05 32:32

It's like it's really about like what do you prioritize? Do you prioritize how you feel physically or mentally? Um, and a lot of the time I like for me, I picked how I feel mentally because you know, you you don't see the immediate effects of the physical stuff. You're like, oh well, I'm dizzy, but you know, at least I I feel better about myself, especially if ha if you haven't felt good about yourself in years, and you take that fast away of losing weight, and you're like, oh, this is easy, I can just do this. And in reality, the amount of happiness that you get out of it is so empty, and the amount of like joy you get or relief is so empty, and it does not last, it does not help you, and you're getting joy out of things that could kill you, but you know, it's fine, right? Because I can I at least at least I'm losing weight, at least I'm not getting bullied, at least I can look in the mirror and not feel horrible about myself.

Ed 33:44

Well, yeah, and I think for teenagers it it's it's trickier because as a teenager, your brain is going through the stage where yes, it knows that the things that you do now, like you know there's 15, 20 years in the future ahead of you. Like, you know, there is careers out there, there's you and this is all stuff that you have to prepare for. Like you you're aware that that's all down there, but the problem is is like a a self-image issue is here and now, and it's really, really hard to look past tomorrow. Yeah, and uh it's it's like the same principle, like um, you know, uh, and you've you've probably seen this before, like, boyfriend and girlfriend break up, and the the the boy and the girl are like they're treating it like a divorce, uh at like there's no future ahead of them, there's nothing good that will ever come to them ever again. And me as an adult and a parent, my instinct is to go in and say, hey, it's not that big of a deal. You guys were like in the eighth grade, all you weren't really even dating to begin with. All you could do is go have a play date at the mall. Your parents had to drop you off. Like, it's it's okay, it's not that big of a deal. But to that eighth grader, that is the end of the world. Yeah, and that is something that all teenagers go through. I went through it, and you know, of course, now that I'm in my 40s, and yeah, I weigh like 250 pounds, I'm I'm fat. I'm I I have the dad bod, you know, the dad barbecue bod.

SPEAKER_01 35:26

Yeah.

Ed 35:27

And I I honestly don't care what people think of me. But uh when I was, you know, 15, 16, that that was a slightly different story. And I think it really, really, really hits teenagers hard uh whenever there's an issue involving image. It's like, how do you look past that? How do you move past like tomorrow? And so I I think that's why I think that's one of the reasons why uh we're seeing a huge increase in teenage girls with eating issues, body dysmorphia, um because they can't tell in 20 years from now they're gonna be okay.

SPEAKER_05 36:14

Yeah. And I feel like too, like human beings love to predict the future and they like to shape the future. Um so like I I was like, oh, well, if I eat this way, then that means I'll be skinny and happy in a few months. Or, you know, if this happens to me, it's the end of the world. I will never want to live again, I don't want to do anything ever again. Like, we want that justification from the future. We want to know 24-7 what's going on.

Ed 36:46

Yeah, uncertainty is a nightmare.

SPEAKER_05 36:48

Oh, it it sucks. And I feel like that's why uh that too is like we just want to know. We want to know what's going on. And it gets really obsessive. Like, yeah, it can get it can harm you really bad. Like you're you'll be sitting there, and like with the example you gave, like of these kids like breaking up in the eighth grade, they're like, Oh, well, I'm never gonna find love again. I'm never gonna be happy again, you know. I just know my life for the rest, like I'm just gonna be miserable and lonely. And sometimes they just pursue it. They're like, Well, there's not there's no point in trying, I'm not gonna do anymore. You know, I went through it, it sucked, not doing it again.

Ed 37:28

Yeah, like like they they're so defeated that there's a point in any fight, when you lose a fight, there's a point where you you you have to surrender. You you've got to come to the realization that, okay, I'm not winning this. And I feel like nowadays, because it's on your phone, it's on the computers, it's it's everywhere, you look at everything that is going on like in social media, and you can't escape it. Yeah, I feel like there's a a problem where people are just getting to the point where like I I can never be like this, therefore, there's something wrong with me. But in reality, my my doctor explained it to me uh one time. Uh, this is in my 20s, and he's like, hey, look, you're not the tallest guy in the world, um, you're not the skinniest guy in the world, you will never ever weigh 150 pounds, right? You you're never like you're genetically, your body will never ever ever become this super thin, ultra buff figure, unless, unless you push it beyond what it's intended to be. But then on the flip side, he's like, but genetically, your heart will account for it, your lungs are gonna account for it, your bone structures are gonna account for it. Like, now obviously if I weigh like 600 pounds, that's as obvious, but that's pushing my body way beyond what it's intended to. But then again, though, I would have to do the same thing, I would have to push my body way past what it's intended to to lose, to go from 250 down to like 135 pounds. Yeah, it's not designed for that. So realistically, just you know, eat clean, but you don't have to like starve yourself, right? You know, eat predominantly fruits and vegetables, eat meat, like get the protein in you, get the sugars in you. And and a lot of it too, I think it it's it's really psychological.

SPEAKER_01 39:31

Oh yeah.

Ed 39:32

I I feel like if you if anybody has an eating issue or eating disorder, the first thing I think would be like therapy, right? Because it's the same or or even addiction. It's the same same thing. So what are uh what are some of these fad diets that you've you've seen people go through? Like what is it, what is it that you're seeing now? What have you seen in the past? Like, what is it that that people are doing to uh lose weight or become what they think is the ideal weight?

SPEAKER_05 40:02

So after being in treatment for the past like six, seven months, like or something like that.

Ed 40:11

I think it's like four months because you started in before school ended. I started like it like May, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_05 40:20

Yeah. So I was first admitted to a residential uh with five other people, and I got to experience a lot of different points of views.

Ed 40:34

Yeah, yeah, because the guy in me is just like, okay, you're just not eating.

SPEAKER_05 40:38

Yeah.

Ed 40:38

But there's a lot more.

SPEAKER_05 40:40

So much.

Ed 40:41

And you probably saw that too. You probably saw a lot of like, whoa, first things first, there's people out there that are worse off than I am, right? And then you're probably like, I had never thought that this could even be a thing.

SPEAKER_05 40:54

Oh yeah, it's it's so odd. Uh and there's so many different types of eating disorders, and there's like a lot that isn't widely known. But yeah, when I was in treatment, uh I saw like my roommate, she would uh she was bulimic, uh meaning that she would purge her food every time she ate it. So she would do that, and she told me that was the only way she was able to lose weight. And I feel like to a normal person, if you were to tell someone that, like, oh, I'm throwing up all my food, you know, to like the older generation, they'd be like, why? Like that's so weird. Like, why are you throwing up all your food? Like, you need to eat your food. But for her, she wanted to be skinny, and she that's what she did.

Ed 41:46

What it gets to the point where like she would eat something and then she would physically just feel sick? Or would she be okay, but she's like, oh no, I've got it, get this out of me.

SPEAKER_05 41:57

It's uh it's from personal experience and it's when you have an eating disorder, you experience both of those at once.

Ed 42:05

Oh.

SPEAKER_05 42:06

You experienced the after you eat something, you experience feeling so sick. Your stomach hurts, you feel full. When again, or residential, there's people who had to eat these big diets to gain weight back, and they would accidentally just throw it up because it was so difficult.

Ed 42:26

I like because they're because they probably their stomachs weren't used to actually having food in there. Like their stomachs actually shrank.

SPEAKER_05 42:34

On my first uh week there, I almost threw up at the dinner table because they would make me eat so much food. Oh, in my eyes it was so much food, but it was actually just the normal diet. Um I eat these foods, and you know, it was so difficult. And so that's where that can come from. But then you also have this mentality of where you're like, okay, well, I ate something, now I need to throw it up because I cannot let this go through my system. I need to feel empty again. I cannot have my body absorb these fats and stuff. But what you're also doing is not letting your body absorb these nutrients or the things you need. And you also need those fats.

Ed 43:18

Well, yeah, it's tough. So I I imagine somebody with an eating disorder, it's really tough to understand that fats are nutrients too.

SPEAKER_05 43:26

Yeah. And you need you need these uh macronutrients because I feel like a lot of the time um with eating disorder and just diet culture, you usually focus on like the vitamins and minerals, like, oh, this vegetable has so much vitamins and stuff like that. And like, yeah, you do need those, but guess what? You also need your macronutrients, which are fats or people in active as a treatment, they like to have lipids more. Yeah. Uh lipids, carbs, and proteins. Um and I feel like a lot of them have a bad rep uh in a way, like protein, maybe not, but like carbs, cut out your carbs. Yeah. You know, you don't want sugars, you don't want fats, but it's in the name macronutrients.

Ed 44:06

Yep. You you need those. And your body is designed to process those. Now, obviously, within reason, like if you live off of Twinkies, yeah. It has those fats and it has the sugars that you need to survive, but it's also just like way too much. But I well, my and my doctor explained it to me. He's like, bro, if once a month or whatever you have a double quarter pounder of cheese with the large fries and the soda, your body is designed to handle that. What it's not designed to do is to handle that for like every day of the week. And that that's obviously taking things too far, the same way as eliminating all sugars, eliminating all carbs, that's going too far in the other direction.

SPEAKER_05 44:54

Yeah, yeah. If you only eat fruits and vegetables, these quote unquote clean foods, your body doesn't know how to it some point doesn't know how to handle that either. And your body tries to figure it out. It will try and figure out how to like live off of the littlest amount, you know.

Ed 45:12

Yeah. A piece of cabbage and half a skittle.

SPEAKER_05 45:14

Yeah, you will literally like uh it's called um malabsorption. And what your body does is because your body's freaking out, it's like we don't have no food to work off of, we have no calories, we have no these no macronutrients in our system. And what it's gonna do is when you eat something and you digest it, you will have that in you for so long. Your body's gonna try and soak up as much as it can.

Ed 45:46

Yeah, it's like starvation mode.

SPEAKER_05 45:48

Yeah.

Ed 45:48

It's like, hey, whatever, whatever you take in, we gotta store it because we don't know when we're getting our next meal.

SPEAKER_05 45:54

Yeah, and it will try and get as much out of it as possible. And when your body's not designed to do that, you know, I met this one girl on treatment who was constipated for two months, and she was 12 years old when I met her. Oh and when she was in her eating disorder, she was 11. This 11-year-old girl being hospitalized, you know, because her body was just not used to it. She like, because she wasn't eating, her body just needed to soak up as much as possible. So your body does try to adjust.

Ed 46:26

Well, especially at that age where, yeah, like you you can have 2,500 calories a day and and still be burning that off. Like when you're at that age, like you are burning just sitting there because your body's growing so much. Yeah, that that that's that's rough.

SPEAKER_05 46:45

And the in a treatment like these uh professionals and stuff, they get really concerned when it comes to teenagers and children having eating disorders because their bodies are still developing. And if you don't have the proper, you know, nutrients to like, you know, grow up and function, that's why they get so concerned because it can be so detrimental to you know the rest of your life.

Ed 47:13

Well, and I imagine it can come on pretty fast.

SPEAKER_05 47:15

Oh, it the the eating disorders, you get the effects of it within like three days. Yeah. And it will last.

Ed 47:23

Whereas like with me, because my my metabolism has slowed way down. Like, golly, when I was 16, I could eat an entire pizza and not bat an eye at it. Now I eat two slices and I'm like, ugh, like, but that's just because my metabolism has slowed way down. Uh and so, like an adult, like um, I have adult ADHD, and one of the symptoms of that is like in my previous job, I would log on at five in the morning and I would work through breakfast, I would work through lunch, I wouldn't take a break, not even a bathroom break. I am just hyper focused on my my work. And next thing I know, it's like five o'clock in the afternoon or the evening or whatever, and I haven't eaten anything. And for the most part, I could do that for a couple of days and be okay. After about a week or so, I'd be kind of weak, I'd be tired, not thinking straight. But for a teenager, it that I feel like that comes on a lot quicker just because you're just burning through everything so fast.

SPEAKER_05 48:26

And a lot of the time teenagers are moving around more. Yeah, they're, you know, it obviously depends, but like you're still having to go to school, you have homework, you still have responsibility. And that can slow down so much your worth ethic, everything. So, you know, it's it's like you you have to ask yourself, is it really worth it? You know, I I remember I was deep into my ED. I would never go to school.

Ed 48:56

Yep.

SPEAKER_05 48:57

I could never handle it.

Ed 48:58

Oh god, it was so tough getting you to school. It was like pulling teeth.

SPEAKER_05 49:02

Oh, I was just I I would always just I would wake up and I would just sit there and I couldn't move. Yeah, and I'd be dizzy.

Ed 49:11

Well, and I remember because like the year before honors everything. You love going to school. Oh yeah. Like if if you weren't in all these weighted courses, you would be bored to death. And then like literally in the course of you know, this past year, like literally in the course of like a semester, the decline was just so fast.

SPEAKER_05 49:32

It was so it's so fast, it it it hits you so fast. I was in um the Amazon Residential. There's this one girl who only ate an apple for a week, and after that, she was hospitalized. You're you have to get your blood drawn every day. You have to because you're hospitalized, they have to be so careful with you. And it's the issue too is it's also a mentality. Like this is not just a disease. You're you're not just diagnosed with this, you go, you go to the hospital and you're fine, you know, you get medication, you go home. Yeah, you know, like this is like yeah, you can be hospitalized, but then after you're hospitalized, you have to go through so much treatment to fix your mentality.

Ed 50:17

Yeah, because it's not a it it's it's not a physiological thing. Like your body itself is okay. It it's what's going on in your head that's messing up everything. Yeah, and it wouldn't surprise me if the the part of the brain that develops an eating disorder, and I'm not saying it's one part of the brain, I'm just again, I'm just finding let's just simplify it, right? Let's just say the part of my brain that controls eating disorders is like right here, right above my left eye, right? I feel like if that's where it is, and I'm not saying that it is where it is, I'm just using an example. If that's where it is, it's probably the same part of the brain that deals with addiction, like alcoholism or cigarette use or drug use or anything like that. So it's one of those things like, okay, if I'm going down this path, yeah, it's one thing. My body's doing one thing, but my brain is doing another.

SPEAKER_00 51:12

Yeah.

Ed 51:13

So I I I almost kind of wonder if uh, you know, the the treatment path for something like that would actually be a treatment path associated more like with uh an addiction.

SPEAKER_05 51:25

Yeah, and um addiction, uh it it's the part of your brain that deals with uh your dopamine. Okay. So like, you know, that relief you get out of something, um, that's where it comes from. So it's that pathway.

Ed 51:42

Uh that's the yeah, the uh the pleasure receptors basically.

SPEAKER_05 51:46

Yeah. Like as somebody with ADHD, uh ADHD is a dopamine deficiency. When I finally got that dopamine, and this is what I was talking about earlier of like that false sense of happiness, that's what happens, is you get that false sense of happiness out of something that's not good for you. It's the same way with alcohol, nicotine, weed, all that stuff. Is it follows that pathway, and then you know, you have these receptors that release dopamine out of something that's not truly good for you.

Ed 52:15

Well, and that and that and and to kind of I don't want to complexify the podcast or like inundate it with social media, but they're discovering that that's what social media does. It gives you that instant little hit of dopamine. Yeah. Like every every little video that you you scroll through, it you know, it triggers the brain just to release a little bit of that dopamine. But what are the circumstances going on for that dopamine? So, like, for example, uh, you know, like getting married, right? Uh you're that whole day, you're getting married. Your your brain is producing that dopamine because you're excited, you're getting married, you're gonna spend the rest of your life with this person, and there's a lot of anxiety involved. But again, like the brain, like there's a there's a lot going on that the brain is processing it and it knows like, okay, you know, release dopamine because this is you know, this is there's you know, 50 different things all going on at once that you know the brain should feel good about. Whereas whenever you are on social media, you just get it like it's a shallow thing, it's a very hollow, it's almost like an empty calorie. Yeah. It's like the people that go onto social media that post all about their mental health or like their depression issues, and the only reason why they post this stuff is because then they've got like 5,000 people that you know send them little hearts or send them a little message like, oh, I'm rooting for you, and this and that. Well, okay, why did you send that out? Right? You got 5,000 people that are all hoping the best for you, but they've never met you, they don't know you, they don't know anything about you, they're they uh they probably don't even care because they've got their own lives that they're working on. Whereas if you go to a family member, you go to a spouse, and you bring up these depression issues or an addiction issue or something like that, and that spouse then replies back positively, that means a heck of a lot more than this some like on Instagram.

SPEAKER_05 54:25

Oh, yeah. Uh, because there's that point of being vulnerable and that risk of that person, you know, leaving and or not taking you seriously, or like tons of things that could happen. Like you're like thinking of the worst.

Ed 54:40

You're like, oh, what if I tell them, then this is gonna be Well, audience, if you hear a meowing or a creaking door, that's our cat. That's our cat. Yeah, uh Raven just kind of teleports everywhere.

SPEAKER_05 54:51

She used her, she's like a black cat. She's like her black magic to like open the door.

Ed 54:55

Just just okay. She's just checking up on us now. She's out.

SPEAKER_05 54:58

Yeah, she's gone.

Ed 55:00

Keep talking. I'm gonna go shut that door.

SPEAKER_05 55:02

Okay. Uh so you know, I think that what I don't even remember what I was talking about.

Ed 55:09

Uh like empty likes.

SPEAKER_05 55:11

Oh yeah, yeah. Uh so you know, people not being, you know, they're not being happy, and they go to these other people and they express their problems that to them feel very, you know, individualized. Like I experience these emotions, I experience this waves of like, you know, not feeling great, or I've developed unhealthy coping skills, and I don't believe in myself to do anything.

Ed 55:44

It can go on, you know, mental illness is so diverse and you know well, and it's the epitome, like when I was taking uh childhood psychology and education, uh, there's the whole nature versus nurture. You know, how much of this is how much of this is being associated with your environment, how much of this is being associated with the uh the the actual stuff going on around you, your, you know, like the things that you're eating and all that, and then how much of it is tied to how are you being raised, how are your parents raising you or a parental figure. And I think there's when we look at mental illness, right? Depression, anxiety, uh, it there's no easy, there's no one thing that's causing it. It is a mix between both like nature and nurture. And a lot of times you have to address both when you're trying to work through uh a lot of these these issues, especially like with an eating disorder, because that is the epitome of nature versus nurture, because uh the nature part of you is like, hey, I I've I've got to get food in my system, but then the nurture part of you is like, I'm ugly, I'm fat, I I can't, I shouldn't be eating this, I feel guilty for eating this, and the two together is just well, it's a dumpster fire. Yeah, it is a biological dumpster fire. You it's not what the body intended, it's what you intended in your head, but it's not what your body is telling you.

SPEAKER_05 57:30

Yeah, and I mean like I again, like I thought that when I was on this so-called just diet or whatever, yeah. I thought that I was truly at my best. I thought I was my healthiest. I thought that you're rationalizing it. Yeah, I was like, you know, this is it can only get better from here. Uh spoiler, it didn't.

SPEAKER_03 57:56

Yep.

SPEAKER_05 57:56

So I, you know, you just you're dealing with and then I look back on it and I'm like, that was definitely not the healthiest I've ever been. Okay. I was better off, you know, eating the way I was before than going through all of that because you're currently battling, your body's battling, you know, your body's freaking out.

SPEAKER_02 58:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 58:19

Your brain is freaking out, you're freaking out, all this stuff. You know, you just don't I just never realized how bad it was. And, you know, you go to treatment and you're like, oh, well, at least it wasn't that bad, but at the end, it was still bad.

SPEAKER_02 58:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 58:36

It was still bad. Like I I can't say that enough. Like, you know, I don't need to rationalize it, you know. I can sit here now and be like, that was tough. Yeah. That was a part of my life that I would never want to wish on anybody else. I'm glad that I got to go through the treatment and I got to learn from it.

SPEAKER_02 58:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 58:58

You know, it's not like I'm not getting anything out of it, but I just wish that, you know, I didn't have to go through it at all. And, you know, it's just kind of going back to like the wanting the easy way out of things.

Ed 59:12

As you get older, you're gonna you're gonna look back at your life and you're gonna be like, short term, you're like, wow, I really wish I have could have gotten this lesson without having to go through all this. A lot of examples, a lot of famous people we talk about in this podcast. I'm pretty sure at the end of it, assuming they didn't die from it, like you know, Custer. Um, you know, I I bet a lot of these folks, when they come out to the other side of this, like a week after this event, they're like, could I have could I have just gotten this lesson in a memo? Right. Could this be could it could I have just gotten this lesson from an email, kind of like going to a stupid meeting where the whole thing could have just been in an email and been fine. Um, but then when I I've noticed a trend though when you look back at some of these folks that you know, a week after all this, like Winston Churchill sinking half the British fleet in Gallipoli, I bet after that, like a week after that, he was probably like, okay, that was that that was a bad idea. I wish I could have just gotten a memo from somebody saying, Don't do this, it's a bad idea. But then again, no, when he looked back at it like 30 years later, he's like, I had to go through that. I I had to. I uh there would be no memo, and people told me this wasn't gonna work, and I ignored it anyways. And now, as he's like you know, a prime minister of of England, one of the most one of the most powerful countries in World War II, uh, and here he is leading it, he's looking back at it, and he's like, I I had I had to go through that.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:54

Yeah, I mean, like you can look back on like experiences where you see like an inspirational quote just on like Instagram or whatever, you read it, you're like, okay, and then you just like move on. And it's not until you actually experience through it, yeah, where you actually learn it and accept it. You actually like, yeah, I could have been told, like, oh well, this is gonna suck, like, you know, just don't do it.

Ed 1:01:20

Yeah, but like anybody could tell you, like, hey, this isn't sustainable, this isn't gonna work, but then sometimes you have to learn that fire is hot by getting burned.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:28

Mm-hmm. And you're like, you go through it and you're like, okay, yeah, maybe they're right, but like at least now I know the side effects of this, I know what could happen if I do this again. And it's kind of just like inst instinct to like just not go back there theoretically. Um I would say theoretically because it's an addiction. And you know, you can look at like the the stuff that you've done that has affected other people, and you're like, oh yeah, that was bad. But you're also kind of like, oh, but I but like I got so much out of it too, you know. It's like yeah, I don't want to go through it again.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:06

Uh for again, not the right reasons. And you know, my brain is still trying to have my morals back on track and what my priorities are, and I am still like, you know, treatment for eating disorder, there's a reason why it takes so long. And they always have to be so careful, they have to be so careful, especially with these children, um because their uh chances of relapsing is so high.

Ed 1:02:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:39

It's so high, it's an addiction, it's so difficult to get out of.

Ed 1:02:44

Well, and you're telling me like uh just to use the bathroom, you know. Like you have to have an adult in the bathroom with you. You have to be like you have to be counting out loud while you're using the bathroom, and there's all these safety precautions that has to go into making sure that you know somebody's not purging or or anything of that nature, which is which it is fascinating that that's what has to happen at first. But I think though, if you're receptive to treatment and you actively want to get better, I'm sure over a period of time they kind of back off of that, especially when they see that you are coming around. But I I think even to this day though, like, yeah, you've been I you've been out of the center and the PHP and all that stuff. But I'm pretty sure there were times where you have to consciously think, like, okay, wait a second, I haven't eaten anything in a while. You know, why haven't I eaten something in a while? And I think a lot of it too is like like you're because you're you're back into the weighted courses, you're back in like AP everything, yeah. And you probably get super, super busy and then you forget. Yeah. But then you you're like, okay, wait a second. I'm like, you're conscious of of this. And whereas like me, you know, my previous job, I'm not conscious of. I I I still go through this. I will go through an entire day of teaching and be like, oh man, I never ate lunch. And then when I come home, I'll eat everything in sight because I'm starving, and then my body puts that on this fat because, well, I'm in starvation mode.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:28

It's called the it's called the restrict binge cycle.

Ed 1:04:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:32

Binging, uh, it's called BED, uh, binge binge eating disorder, is the most common eating disorder, uh, and is most prevalent in men.

Ed 1:04:43

Oh, interesting.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:44

Yeah. Uh that one and like over-exercising disorder.

Ed 1:04:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:48

Uh, I don't know the exact name, but you know, it's kind of just like over-exercising, obviously.

Ed 1:04:52

But so is so like with men, because men kind of have like a one-track mind. So like they will focus on the task at hand for too long, right? And then they forget about everything else.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:06

Yeah, and even then it's just kind of like the beauty standards for men are so much different too. Uh oh, yeah. Oh, so much different.

Ed 1:05:15

And for like men, it's like bulking, you know, getting bigger and uh it's almost like it's socially for men, because it is about being everything has to be bigger with men. And uh, and you and when I say everything, everything has to be bigger for men. Yeah. So like in a way, I think socially it is more acceptable to be for a man to be overweight because he's bigger. Like, okay, I've I'm I'm rocking the dad bot right now, and everywhere I go, like, no one looks at me strange, nobody says I'm fat, nobody said nobody's critical of that. Or I could be super trim. But just absolutely jacked. I I I feel like I would be treated the same way. Yeah. Whereas especially on social media, women not so much.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:09

Yeah. And I I know I've seen it personally too of people being shamed, like especially guys being shamed for being like really skinny and thin and short and all that stuff.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:22

And I know I I just know that like that's gotta be difficult. And I think too, it's like it's also harder most of the time for them to speak up about it.

Ed 1:06:33

Yep. Which is part of the reason why you see a lot more girls in in uh these hospitals than you do boys.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:40

Yeah, and the other thing too, um binge eating disorder is heavily underdiagnosed. Um it's like so normalized. So yeah, what happens is like you will restrict all day. And you know, sometimes like you said, it's not even intentional sometimes.

Ed 1:07:01

You just forget subconscious or consciously for whatever reason you're not eating through.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:07

Your priorities aren't like eating right now, your priority is getting your work done.

Ed 1:07:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:11

Because you're that's what you think. It's like, oh, I came to work, I gotta work, I don't have time to eat, I don't have time to do stuff, I have to just work.

Ed 1:07:17

Yeah, or like I'm I'm too afraid to step away. Because if I do, then everything falls apart.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:23

Yeah, you you have to be hyper-aware.

Ed 1:07:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:26

And you know, sometimes your needs, you know, can get forgotten.

Ed 1:07:32

Well, it goes back to that idea. The body's really good at masking things. And I think a man's body is even better at masking things, which is the reason why guys don't go in for prostate exams. There's a guy guys that don't go in for colonoscopies, there's guys that don't go in for a PSA test for prostate control. Yeah, they guys don't do that because they don't, you know, the body, there's it could be something legitimately wrong, and the body does a great job masking it.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:01

Yeah.

Ed 1:08:02

And and and women's bodies do the same thing, but I think women are a little bit more in tune with what's going on. Uh, whereas like a guy, you know, like I I I I I need to look at the stats. I I don't know what the stats would be, but I have a funny feeling that if you were to look at prostate cancer versus breast cancer, I would be really curious to see how many men die from prostate cancer going undiagnosed versus women dying of breast cancer going undiagnosed.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:32

Yeah.

Ed 1:08:33

Um so yeah, yeah, for for men, I can totally see how that that that that eating disorder can be a thing. What what do you typically see with girls?

SPEAKER_05 1:08:43

Girls, it's a lot of um like restriction. Uh but it's like, I don't know, I it's a lot more restriction-based and it's more shamed for binging. But the thing with binging is, you know, we still see a binging is just eating a lot of food. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:06

But what's interesting about binging is it's secretive. People will restrict all day and they'll go home, go to their room, and just eat everything in sight. But they will not acknowledge it, they will not say anything, they will not go to somebody, they will not do it in front of somebody.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:24

Because it's like there's definitely there's definitely different reasons. I'm not talking for other people here, okay? Like uh, but you know what I've seen is like they'll do it because it's embarrassing. They cannot be seen eating.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:38

And it's a sec it's a secretive thing, but you you do it because your body's like, we need to eat. Like, I haven't eaten in like three days. I'm so hungry. And it's a cycle because then you binge, and then the next day, you know, you're not hungry. You're not, you know, I don't I can't eat again, you know, just not, you know, your hunger cues are messed up. Yeah. So that's another thing with a binge eating disorder, is like it's very secretive, and binging isn't really about eating so much food. There's not a set amount of calories you have to eat for it to be called a binge. A binge is where you yourself feel like you ate too much.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:19

Got it.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:20

And there's a lot of guilt that comes with that. So that's what a binge is. Your binge, like for me, like a binge bag would be just eating a normal meal. I'd be like, I think I just binged, I ate a a burger and fries. In reality, that's not a binge. That's a normal meal. That's not that's less than I'm supposed to be eating in an a normal day. And like not saying that, you know, a binge could be more than that, too. It's just really of how you feel about it. If you feel guilty afterwards and you feel like you ate too much, that's what you would classify as a binge.

Ed 1:10:53

Interesting. Um so it doesn't have to be that you ate everything inside, it just it it can just be it's something as simple as eating a hamburger and then feeling guilty about it.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:02

And you feel like, oh, I just ate so much food.

Ed 1:11:05

Interesting.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:06

So it's really up to you on if you count as a binge or not. So like I said, there's not a setup, there's not a requirement there. Uh in the same way, it can actually go with like restriction too. If I'm scared if I if I'm eating a normal meal, but I'm scared to eat it, I feel guilty after eating it. Okay. I don't want to eat it. That is still restriction. There's still the I like idea of restricting this food. There's still, and that's why it's a mentality, eating disorders are such a it's so mentally based. It it goes both ways. Uh, and that's why disordered eating is so diverse in that way. So that's the thing with binging is like in girls, like it's not really actually in everybody, you just don't know about it, and that's why it's underdiagnosed. You're like, oh, I just ate a lot of food when I got home, but it's okay, that's normal.

Ed 1:12:00

What what is your recommendation? Like, how do somebody who may have an undiagnosed eating disorder or something like that? How would you go about somebody like maybe a listener or something like that who may be questioning, like, you know, maybe they don't fully understand that they have an eating disorder? What are some things that you would tell somebody that they could kind of help? I don't want to do this, I I don't want to say self-diagnose, that that's dangerous, but maybe what would you tell somebody who's kind of wondering if they are not eating right? Like, what would you tell them to be like, oh crap, maybe I need to go see a doctor or something like that?

SPEAKER_05 1:12:39

Yeah. Uh if you are sitting there questioning if you have an eating disorder right now, the fact that you have to question it is a sign.

Ed 1:12:49

Okay. It's the same thing with alcoholics. Like, if if if you go up to somebody who's drinking alcohol and they're wondering if they're an alcoholic or not, yeah, that's usually like the first red flag.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:58

That is literally the red flag. If you were sitting there, if you're like, huh, you know, I'm not eating enough. I think I'm like, I have an eating disorder. Chances are, you probably do. Uh eating disorders you don't really have to be diagnosed with for it to be um a problem kind of deal. Like, you don't have to be diagnosed with an eating disorder to get treatment. Uh, I have a I have a friend who has not been diagnosed with eating disorder, who has an eating disorder basically, uh, who's working with a dietitian right now, and um things like that. The biggest thing I can recommend is like you really need to self-reflect. You need to look at yourself and you need to really just it's almost like a pros and cons list. You know, like you're like, okay, well, this is happening, but this is also happening, and if there's a but statement to that, that's a sign. Okay, that that is not something that is good for you. If something that makes you happy, but there is a part of you that's like, but this could happen, or this is happening right now, is it really making you happy? Is it really making you happy, or is it canceling out?

Ed 1:14:06

Or like, hey, I I feel fantastic, fantastic, but I'm only eating, you know, 50 calories a day. Yeah, or like I'm losing weight, but you know, I'm I'm doing via you know, hydroxychloroquine or whatever, yeah, you know, whatever, or or yeah, so so one if you ever have to question whether or not you have this issue, and I imagine it's probably the same for any addiction or eating disorder. And then the other one is okay, how am I feeling? Like, try to focus on the positive feelings that you have, and then if you find out there's a but and then there's a negative thing associated with it, so like, oh, I feel great, but I'm also drinking a fifth a bottle every day, or I'm I'm losing weight, but I'm only eating 50 calories a day. Uh, that that would probably be another red flag.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:05

Yeah. Uh, and honestly, eating disorders have such a high death rate. It is the second most deadliest mental disorder you can have, especially if you are still like growing. You and like you're not gonna want to do it. I didn't want to do it. You know, I was I was a kid, you know, I was a teenager, I did not want treatment. I had to leave my family for weeks, I had to leave everything that I felt comfortable in behind.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:42

And it's a hard choice, it's so difficult.

Ed 1:15:46

Well, and I remember you you actively made the choice.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:49

Oh, yeah.

Ed 1:15:50

Like, because we had the option of getting you there like later in the summer, but you're like, no, if there's an opening tomorrow, I'm going tomorrow. Which to me that's huge.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:03

Yeah.

Ed 1:16:03

That means you were so in tune with how bad you were feeling, and you were like, no, it I this needs to happen sooner than later.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:17

And even then after that, like choosing to go to residential and um the waiting list, you know, I could have gone in way later, but there was an opening for me to go into one in a different state. And I was like, I'm going to that one. I need to go as soon as possible because I cannot keep living like this.

Ed 1:16:36

Yeah, you you you you you had the wherewithal to know like this is not sustainable.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:40

This is not, yeah. I I just knew that if I can barely stand up, if I can barely get out of bed, I I just know that's not good for me. And I didn't want that. I wanted to keep up with these bad habits. I wanted to stay, you know, losing weight and feeling good about myself and getting that relief.

Ed 1:17:00

But now, what would you say like the role of friends can play in all this? Uh you you have a core group of friends that you hang out and well, I mean, they live here just as much as they live in their own house. So but I feel like you're you and and they're good friends. I I feel like they're really, really good friends. What what role can a friend play in in somebody who's you know dealing with an eating disorder?

SPEAKER_05 1:17:28

Having friends or eating disorder can be so tricky. So tricky, you know, especially if you are really close to somebody, or like, you know, if you're dating somebody, if you're married and you have an eating disorder, you know, keeping up relationships is really hard. And I in my eating disorder, I have hurt a lot of people when I did not mean to. And um like one of my closest friends, she was telling me how I was so mean to her all the time. And I like look back on that now and I'm like, oh god.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:18:08

I was so focused on how much I was eating that I left behind my relationships.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:18:16

And I prioritized things I should not be prioritizing. And I mean, you know, friends, it obviously having a friend's help.

Ed 1:18:28

I I think it really fun it will really determine or it'll really show who your true friends are. Because I I mean, because a good friend or a good spouse, uh, something like this won't push them away. It in fact, they'll stick around more.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:43

Yeah.

Ed 1:18:44

And they'll drive you up the wall because you're actively trying to push them away. But then when you get on the other side of you, like, oh, I glad that person stuck around.

SPEAKER_05 1:18:54

Yeah. And there's a lot of you know, guilt that comes from it too. You're like, Oh yeah. Oh god, I can't believe I did that to you. But they'll sit there and be like, it's okay, it's over now.

Ed 1:19:07

Like, yeah, because they know you're a sorting person.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:10

They know who you truly are, and they know what you were in your eating disorder was not you. And they know that you know they just know that they know who you are. And I think that's like the biggest part of it. And you will feel lonely in your eating disorder. You will feel so lonely, and you will get so angry about how you don't have any friends when you're the one who's pushing them away. You're the one who's sitting there not going to school, you're not or going to work, you had people you used to interact with, but now you're distancing yourself, you're isolating. You you're like, well, there's no point, everybody doesn't like me anyway. Yeah. I might as well just focus on myself and get skinny so people will like me anymore. Or, you know, get bigger or whatever. You try to just shape your body for other people, but in the process of doing that, you don't interact with anybody, or you have really bad issues of clinging on to somebody, yeah, and then not letting them go.

Ed 1:20:09

Yeah, I I imagine it's it's very similar to uh to folks that really want to fit in, right? They suffer from FOMO, uh fear of missing out, yeah, super, super bad. And they will become something that they're not to fit in, right? Because that's one of the things human beings like socially that that is a huge component with us, is we've gotta fit in somewhere. And if you don't fit in, nobody wants to be left alone. So like I imagine people who try to change their personalities to fit in is very similar to somebody who is, you know, hey, if I lose 50 pounds, right, then I I will fit in here. When in reality, that's it, it's it's the same exact thing as like going on to social media and trying to get those likes.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:04

Yeah.

Ed 1:21:04

Like, are you really gonna post stuff about yourself that may or may not be true on social media just to get the like so you get that tiny little dopamine hit? Right. And I imagine when you're in the middle of an eating disorder, yeah, you you can't like your your brain's physically lacking the nutrients to work through through all that.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:24

Oh yeah. It's so it's so difficult to think.

Ed 1:21:30

Yeah. Uh so rotary chain reaction where uh you don't have the nutrients to think, therefore, this problem you can't sort through it, you can't get over it, and because you can't get over it, it makes the eating disorder worse, and then it it feeds the disorder, not the brain, and then it just you know goes out of control.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:50

If you're sitting there, you know, questioning yourself about this stuff, and you're like, well, you know, it hasn't gotten bad enough yet. I can fix myself, I can do something about it by myself. I am telling you right now, it you cannot.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:09

I I thought that I could just get through it, you know, move on. In reality, I was not I'm not in the mental. I I had a dietitian, she told me that I am not in the place right now, my mental space to figure out how to fix myself and what to do. Your brain, you can I was told I cannot trust my brain.

Ed 1:22:29

Oh, interesting.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:31

I I cannot trust what it's telling me.

Ed 1:22:33

Because it's been compromised.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:36

You just and you know, it's such a odd thing to hear. Yeah. Is you cannot trust what your brain is saying to you because but like that's what you trust in the most. Yeah. Was your brain. You're like, oh well, I can't believe I came up with this.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:50

Huh.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:52

So you know, being told that was kind of like a like, oh wow, okay.

Ed 1:22:57

That is interesting.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:58

And I was like, you know, and now I'm glad I can trust myself more, uh, but you know, you you really do just need to reach out. I and it's probably been told so many times, like, you know, if you have something going on, don't internalize it. But I literally cannot say that enough. You have to. And if you don't the fact that you don't want to get help is a sign you need to get help.

Ed 1:23:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:26

If you don't want it, that means you need it.

Ed 1:23:28

So what would be the uh what would be the first step then? Like what would you recommend for somebody who is aware that they've got a problem? Uh especially a teenager. Uh adults, there's not a whole lot you can really do because it's totally up to them.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:45

Yeah.

Ed 1:23:46

Whereas like a parent, like a teenager, they have parents that are legally responsible for them, you know, that like, hey, you're going whether you like it or not, kind of a thing. What would what advice would you give to teenagers who are struggling with the the self-image and and all that? For me, I feel like the first step would be get off social media.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:08

Yeah.

Ed 1:24:09

Like kill that right there and just stay off of it. And I'd be really curious to see if that like how how much that would improve. But again, I'm not a counselor, I'm not a therapist, I've never been through this before. So, like, what what would you recommend for somebody who needs treatment?

SPEAKER_05 1:24:32

So, you know, if getting off of social media was the easiest way, uh, that'd be true. But the issue is you're still going out in public where these people are basing what they know off of social media. So even if you take off social media, you're gonna go to school and you're gonna see still have that social media beauty standard applied to you.

Ed 1:24:55

Oh, I see. Um, so just because you're not seeing it on the toilet, it doesn't mean that it you're not gonna be exposed to it through secondary means, like secondhand smoke.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:06

Yeah. And, you know, for me, it's just like and not everybody can reach out to like their parent and be like, hey, like, this is what I'm going through right now. Like I am, you know, really I'm not eating. I am, you know, I feel like I am dying. Um that is not an easy thing to do, obviously. And I, you know, if you're sitting there and you're like, hey, I think there's something wrong. I think that I need to get medical help. And honestly, if you don't reach out verbally, people will see it physically. Yeah, you will see it.

Ed 1:25:48

Like your teachers will see it.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:49

Your parents will see it. Yeah, you cannot hide it.

Ed 1:25:52

What do you do about what do you what would you recommend if if like because I've when I taught high school, um, you know, I I've come across some issues where I could see like, hey, this girl is not eating, and then I later find out that like the parents are the ones who are actively not letting her eat because they thought that she was possessed by some devil, and some religious figure told them that the only way you can exercise this demon is to starve, starve it out. Uh now, me as a teacher, I'm a mandatory reporter. Like I have to call CAPS on you. Like that, that, yeah, there's no way around it. But that girl probably had no idea what to do. Um, in that case, what would you recommend? Like maybe talking to a teacher or a school counselor or a nurse or um yeah, or just like a trusted adult or anything or something like that.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:50

And if they have friends, tell your friend. Okay. And if your friend is telling you what they're going through, and it is something that is life-threatening, you have to tell your parents. You have to tell somebody, and you know, again, if you don't, they will find out no matter what. You know, yeah. I mean, the way that like you guys I would say like one like warning sign was I would get up and I would fall to the floor. I remember one time I was just getting out of bed and I tried to go eat something because I haven't eaten, and my level my legs gave out and I fell in the middle of the hallway. And I had to crawl to the kitchen to get a granola bar, and I was sobbing my eyes out, and I was trying to call my mom and everything. And you know, that is such and there's other symptoms too that people realize if you're fainting, if you're getting dizzy, if you are skin and bones, yeah, they will find out. But the issue is they don't find out until it's bad.

Ed 1:27:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:00

They don't find out until it gets worse.

Ed 1:28:02

Or or it's like really dangerous.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:04

I would say that's why you really need to reach out as soon as possible. And even if you're scared that you're ruining your relationship with that person by reaching out, just realize it's better than them being dead.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:15

It's so much better. You know, they may hate it, they may hate you, but you care enough to reach out and to be like, hey, this could ruin your life.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:25

And if they're like, oh, I can just solve it on my own, you can't. You cannot solve it on your own.

Ed 1:28:30

Well, and I've no, there's a lot of criticism of your generation and the up-and-coming generation, where you know, old people are saying, like, oh, you guys are apathetic, you don't care about anything, you just want to stare at your phones all day, and and and I there's some truth to that, but I also think though that your guys' generation, I'm uh what I'm seeing is that apathy. Sure, you're apathetic, but you were more apathetic towards our political system because just like it's a hot mess. Um, but what I've also seen though, on the other hand, that apathy also I'm seeing an increase in tolerance.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:19

Yeah.

Ed 1:29:19

I'm seeing an increase in acceptance. Um, yeah, even even still even when I was in high school, you know, racially, uh, I want to say there was segregation. I mean, I'm not that old, but yeah, but Mexicans hanged out with Mexicans and African Americans hanged out with or hung out with African Americans. You had your white people would hang out. And it wasn't that they had anything against each other, it's just that, you know, like liked to be around like, you know. Uh, but today I'm seeing that completely change. I'm seeing your guys' generation, and there could be like two white, white kids, a black kid, Chinese kid, and a Mexican, right? It going down the street talking, yeah, having a good time and and whatnot. And I'm even just talking to my middle schoolers, I'm I'm noticing that they are really focusing on things that are detrimental, like eating or self-image or it yeah, like the whole idea of racism doesn't exist with them. Uh homophobia doesn't that's not a thing with them. So I I think in a lot of respects, especially teenagers today, uh, I think I think we live in a society where if you speak up about these problems that you're having, I feel like you're going to find a community of people willing to help out a lot more than any other generation.

SPEAKER_05 1:30:53

Yeah. And it's it's interesting too, because in high school, um people aren't like they their group of friends aren't based on how they look anymore. Yeah, it's based on how they act, and that's how it should be.

Ed 1:31:07

Yeah. It's how not the color of their skin, but the content of their character.

SPEAKER_05 1:31:11

Yeah. And I'm glad that's what we're seeing. But the other issue is you hang out with these people with the same mentality as you, and you start to pick up what they do. So I was about to go to a residential where they would not let you bring certain things because you are at risk picking up what other people did.

Ed 1:31:38

Oh, I see.

SPEAKER_05 1:31:39

Uh, because you guys are all in the same boat. You guys are all like, you guys all have eating disorders.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:31:44

You guys all have like a similar mentality, and you're gonna pick up that, and you're gonna start to be like, oh, if this works for them, they'll probably work for me too.

Ed 1:31:51

Got it. So uh so not only are you trying to pick up the good, that you can also pick up the bad.

SPEAKER_05 1:31:58

And you don't even realize it because you're like, well, my friends do it, I can do it.

Ed 1:32:00

Folly I do.

SPEAKER_05 1:32:02

Yeah.

Ed 1:32:03

Yeah, right. They're they're they're crazy is helping my crazy.

SPEAKER_05 1:32:07

Yeah. There's like that one like proverb where it's like, don't tell me, like, tell me who your friends are and I know who you are. Yeah. You know, I I know that, you know, some of my friends are starting to pick up my habits.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:32:22

I just at that point just like worried. I because I feel like it's like my fault. And that's when I feel like if you see your friend picking up your bad habits, that should be a red flag to you. You have to also report for them. And you need to look at yourself. And if you are like, you know, if you have disordered eating and you start to see how your friends are kind of picking up the same thing, you guys need to get help. And obviously that is easier said than done, but I am saying like it is up, it's literally up to your health, your your life on just reaching out. And um I understand too not everybody has the resources for that.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:33:04

And that's where I cannot really speak because I am not aware of that kind of stuff, but I do believe that opening up to at least somebody will help. And I think too, how when you open up how life goes from there, it will flow, it will work, and it will work itself out. The only thing is you have to be able to live to work itself out.

Ed 1:33:28

So, what you what you were talking about there of um like your bad habits and people picking up on it reminds me of that the Heavenly Creatures murder with uh what was it? It was Juliet Hume and what was the other one's name was Parker. Um oh, I can't remember her name, but there's these two girls, like uh oh, Pauline Parker and Juliet Hume. So uh it's about this one girl that moves to New Zealand and from England, and you know, she just didn't fit in. She just kept to herself and whatnot. But then she met Pauline Parker, and these two hit it off. And they became absolutely inseparable, and they got to the point where like one person's crazy was affecting the other person's crazy, and it was like magnifying it, and it it got to the point where they were only focusing on absorbing each other's bad habits, yeah. And it ultimately resulted in Pauline Parker killing her mother with a brick.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:36

Yeah.

Ed 1:34:37

Like it that that how how extreme that went. So yeah, I I thought that was a perfect example of um, you know, like your bad habits will bleed into other people, and then then they'll start absorbing it, and then you guys can actually have this runaway chain reaction.

SPEAKER_05 1:34:57

And I remember too when I was in residential, people would give advice on how to still lose weight while in treatment.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:05

Ooh.

SPEAKER_05 1:35:05

Like I my roommate would be like, you know, she'll be like, you know, you can just do like sit-ups in your bed while they're not looking, or you can go into the bathroom and you can just work out there. She found out that the drain cover was could be removed and you could purge your last snack. And they would give these advice, or there'd be some people who are approved to prepare their own meals, and they will tell others the calorie count are little than the labels.

Ed 1:35:34

Yeah, because that's like that's one of the first things they tell you to stop doing, right? Is stop looking at the nutrition facts.

SPEAKER_05 1:35:39

If you are constantly reading the labels and you're anxious about, you know, eating food, or if you can I used to be this is how I used to do it. I would eat food and I could literally tell how many calories was in that food.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:35:50

I could count if you're calorie counting, that is not diet culture will tell you that that's what you need to start doing is cutting your calories and you need to start counting your calories.

Ed 1:35:58

Mm-hmm. Start tracking them.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:00

That is the worst mindset you could get yourself into, and that's like, you know, really not good for you. Um but anyway, uh they would tell others like the calories of what they saw, or they would see like their weight, they would like all this stuff. And um they knew it wasn't good for them. I mean, it's kind of bound to happen to have those bad mentalities because that's when you're in residential.

Ed 1:36:31

Yeah. Well, that tells me like they're not getting anything out of it. They're treating it as like a prison sentence where you serve your time, you get out, and you just go back to what you were doing before.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:41

Yeah, but thankfully residential facilities can acknowledge that and they know how to deal with it. And like I remember one time um I was I was like just drawing inside, and then like there's like everybody else's outside, um, and they were talking about numbers and like you know, how much these to weigh, how many calories is in something, and then this and this one girl, she was like, uh no, I don't want to like talk about this, but she didn't tell them that she didn't want to talk about it, she told somebody she told an adult. And instead of the adult getting angry at them for talking about it, they were more like, okay, we need to like solve this problem. If you guys are all talking about calories and numbers, that is something you need to work on, and we need to like help you work on.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:33

And it's so it's so normalized in our culture for that to be happening, and it sounds so weird too. I remember being so weird for me to be in residential and being told what what is not right. I was just kind of like, that's interesting. Like, for example, we read this one article saying how like just because you're overweight doesn't necessarily necess doesn't necessarily mean you're gonna die sooner.

Ed 1:37:52

No, and and and you know, you've got to try to figure out like, okay, how how overweight is to overweight. And I think if you're overweight to the point where you can't move around, if you physically can't do the basics of life, that that that's probably the same thing with like an eating disorder, right? A body dysmorphia thing. If you're getting to the point where you can't function day to day, you probably have a problem. The same way that if you are overweight and you can't function in day-to-day life, then you probably need to see um a doctor very much the same way you need to see a doctor if you're not eating enough, you probably need to see something or somebody if you're eating too much. I'm assuming it's probably it's that part of the brain that just goes to too far or extreme one way or too far and extreme in the other way.

SPEAKER_05 1:38:50

Yeah. And like, you know, you have to that's why again, like you have to really self-reflect. And um, you like it's just a very common thing, is like you'll sit in the mirror, it's called body checking. Uh, and a lot of people who, you know, you'll like look at your body constantly and you will look at your skin and all that stuff, and you're like, wow, I'm like the biggest one at the school. Yeah, I am the biggest one out of my friend group, I am, you know, all that stuff. And regardless if that's true or not, it's really down to like, okay, well, can you still walk?

SPEAKER_02 1:39:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:39:30

And if you can if you say yes, Casey, yes. Can you, you know, do you have hands that function? Do you, you know, you have all your limbs? Are you like you know, or abled body, right?

Ed 1:39:45

You're not paralyzed from the forehead down.

SPEAKER_05 1:39:47

That means that you are normal.

Ed 1:39:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:39:51

And I hate using the word normal, but that is the true definition of healthy. People associate associate healthy way too much with weight, is they forget and they start to forget that like what actually is healthy. Like being healthy isn't you losing the fat on your body. Being healthy is being able to go outside and go on a walk. Being healthy is being able to see. Being healthy, you know, stuff like that, being able to think is healthy.

Ed 1:40:19

Yep. What isn't being able to go to school or do your job or you know, just do day-to-day functioning things, regardless if you're 50 pounds overweight or whatever, you you can still function in society. Uh what would and we're gonna kind of wrap it up here, what would you recommend? Say somebody like me, right? I could probably stand to lose 50, 60 pounds. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:49

Right.

Ed 1:40:49

I went I'm 250 now. I could probably my doctor always said, hey, if you get down to 190, you're you're gonna be you're gonna be golden.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:56

Okay.

Ed 1:40:57

Right? What what then should I do? Should I go on to Instagram and find the latest fab diet to try to lose that 50 pounds or 60 pounds as fast as possible? Like, what what would you recommend I do so that I can lose some weight without starving myself and all that kind of stuff?

SPEAKER_05 1:41:21

I would say take advantage of your humanity. I would say that you as a person, you can walk, you can eat, you can like, you can do so much. And honestly, as long as you are living as a person and you can have that ability, abuse it almost.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:41:43

So don't, you know, don't focus on what you're eating or how much exercise you're doing. Just be like, oh, you know, I'm kind of hungry, I'm gonna go eat something. I noticed that I'm actually losing more weight, and again, it's not a good or bad thing if you're losing weight, okay?

SPEAKER_02 1:41:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:41:59

Um but I actually found that I am losing weight by more of a natural means. Yeah. I am eating a few meals a day. I am properly medicated, I am at a point in my life where I can actually go to school, and you know, you know, losing weight is just something that came with it. And for me to be here and be like, okay, well, I'm losing weight, but that's okay, like whatever, and not like being obsessive over it. That's the part that is like you know, good and healthy. So if you think that you need to lose weight, I don't recommend going on a diet, or I don't recommend you know, doing things like that. I honestly recommend trying to just live and and function, and honestly, you need to change your priorities. If you think that you need to lose weight to be happy, that's not true. And I can tell that right now, you don't have to lose weight to be happy. And a lot of the time, too, it's the process of being happy, you end up getting what you want at the end. And I think that like if you're just able to function as a human being and you can do tasks that you're meant to do, you're fine. Yeah. You don't need to lose weight unless if a doctor's like, hey, like you may want to cut down on those calories and your carbs, like that. Just do what your body's telling you. Don't always do what your brain is telling you. If your brain is telling you, like, hey, like you, you need to start losing weight because you don't look great. But your body's here like starving. You're like, Yeah, well, actually, I need to eat something.

Ed 1:43:46

Well, yeah, and uh I'm I'm assuming too that you've really gotta like hone in on the reasons for why you want to lose the weight. So, like for me, I would I would like to lose the weight so I don't have a heart attack in the next 10 years. Right. Right? I wouldn't mind losing the weight so that my blood pressure comes down. Or like I don't have as much back pain because I'm not looking around, you know, the barbecue belly and stuff like that. Um, you know, I I I maybe to a certain degree, like that's probably okay to lose some weight, but you gotta be careful about it, right? You can't starve yourself in the process. Maybe I maybe like in moderation. Hey, let's cut back on the barbecue a little bit. Yeah. Let's cut back on the McDonald's a little bit, let's cut back on the sodas a little bit, uh, versus like, oh my God, I gotta go on a diet and next and you're just living off of broccoli for the next six months. Yeah. I feel like that would be an extreme. Whereas if you sit back and you think about like, okay, why do I need to lose this weight? Well, I don't want to have a stroke. I I want my blood pressure to come down, I don't want to have a heart attack when I'm 50. Um, you know, I feel like that's probably one thing versus hey, if I lose this 60 pounds, my wife will think I'm more attractive.

SPEAKER_05 1:45:07

Yeah. And like, you know, being healthy or whatever, you know, that obsession is so normalized. And I feel like too, like, definition of healthy, like I said, is you're stable to function. And your body's still a defunction, and your body can handle a lot. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:26

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:45:26

Like people will be like, oh, well, you're gonna like your body can't handle this much and all that. But I'm like, look at yourself. What can you handle? What can you sit there and be like, okay, I can, you know, you're made in a certain way that you know you shouldn't have to be worrying about things that you are worrying about, like detoxing your body or you know, like just let your body be. Okay. Your body can figure it out. You're not gonna, after you eat like a fatty food, you're not gonna gain that fat.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:46:02

Your body doesn't care what you eat. Your body's just like, oh, okay, we got this nutrient, this nutrient, you know, it's just breaking it up. It is not, it doesn't care that there's oil, it doesn't care if there's grease, it doesn't care if there's salt, it will make use of it. Yeah, it will make use of everything you eat. And that's all that really matters is your body's able to do that. If your body is able to function like that, and you're you're not constantly 24-7 because you're not eating, but you're also not like, you know, having diarrhea every night because uh being de like, you know, you get dehydrated and stuff like that. Like what is healthy isn't determined by your weight, isn't it?

Ed 1:46:41

It's that's some metric. You you can't you you can't put a metric on on healthiness.

SPEAKER_05 1:46:47

No, there's no numbers in being healthy. Yeah, there shouldn't be. There everybody is a different human being, you know. We're not all just like a code, we're all not we're all not just like a number, you know, associated with us. It's like we have a lot to us, you know, and I think that depending, like just because one thing is healthy for another person doesn't mean it's healthy for you. Just because a doctor says that something is healthy doesn't mean you should agree with it. And I've been told by there's so many, like the med like a lot of people in the medical industry like debate 24-7 and like flash so much. I've gone through so many doctors, so many dentists, so many therapists, and I've gotten a different input by all of them because they are all human beings and they all have different opinions and a different value that they prioritize. Yeah. And it's for you to sit there and be like, okay, what is the healthiest value and what is best for me? And you can have the external resource and stuff like that, but that external resource is only trying to like kind of boost you. It's not trying to, you know, manipulate you. And that's like the other part too, is like people like there's so many like misconceptions about you know the med like what treatment is. You're not getting brainwashed, that's not what's happening. And they are aware, and eventually you will get like that where you can be aware of yourself and you can be like, okay, I know this is not a good thing, and I can trust myself enough to go fix what is wrong.

Ed 1:48:20

Yeah, and I I I really think, you know, to kind of put a capstone here, um, I saw a TED talk just the other day. Uh it was a guy, he he was born really disfigured, like his legs were disfigured, arm disfigured, he's wheelchair bound and all that stuff. And he's actually a therapist that works with prisoners. Yeah. And um, and one of the things that he one of the pieces of advice that he gave, or one of the the rules or laws that he he's learned over the years, is don't follow any advice that doesn't empower you. And that includes what you tell yourself. If somebody is telling you, giving you advice that makes you feel horrible about yourself, ignore it.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:09

Yeah.

Ed 1:49:09

That's that's that that's not that's not doing any good for you. And if you're telling yourself something that you need to be or say or do and you feel horrible about it, then don't follow it. And I and that's probably uh for anybody who's going through a uh um an issue like this, I I think probably the best thing to do is to is to speak up. It is, I feel like it it's crucial to make sure that the ones that love you are aware that you are talking to your doctor. Uh be careful about you know all the things that like be careful about what you're seeing on social media and embrace the fact that, hey, I can still function. I am just because of my weight, I am still able to do my day to day things. things and me losing a bunch of weight isn't getting isn't going to make me do those things uh any differently.

SPEAKER_05 1:50:10

And I'm thinking from experience, losing the weight does not make you feel any better about yourself. You do not gain anything is not worth it.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:50:21

Not worth it. It is and you know I am I had to go through the hard way of learning that and I can really stand here and just say that it is not worth it.

Ed 1:50:33

So well cool deal. That that was fascinating. Uh it it's so cool to be able to talk to my 15 year old daughter and um be like wow uh she's got some stuff figured out yeah proud of you for that that's pretty cool and and and now that you're wiser for it you're gonna be better off for it. Yeah you're gonna see people around you that are going through it now you're a resource. Like now you were able to help them through it or empower them. And um and so yeah like this is this is a very very different episode compared to what we normally do. Usually our episodes tend to be funnier. They tend to they tend to focus on you know the those moments in history where even though you're reading in the textbook and you just want to do a face palm you're like oh my god what is going on here kind of a thing that's that's what we really focus on. And but I I'm glad you came on. I feel like there's a lot of people that can benefit from what you you had to say. And um and so yeah no thanks for coming on it I it and I chewed up most of your afternoon. That's all right. But yeah it's just it's like I said it's just your future yeah no big deal. Um so yeah uh our lovely listeners be sure to check us out on the old uh on the old Instagrams uh do us a favor and start if you haven't done so already tell people about the podcast I found the easiest thing to do is to physically grab somebody's phone go on to wherever they get their podcast or music from because we're on everything like find it for them the days dumpster fire we will come up on Spotify we come up on Amazon we come up on Google um we've come we come up on some of these even these weird podcatchers that maybe three people in the world still use and so like the easiest thing to do is to just grab their phone or tell them about the podcast and then grab their phone and and take them right to it uh there was one lady I uh I grabbed her phone because she's like oh I don't know anything about podcasting how do I find it so I I I went on to Amazon found it on there uh set it up for automatic downloads I went on to her Spotify uh got her signed up for that automatic downloads I went onto her Google account found it set her up for automatic downloads and um yeah I have a funny feeling her phone public ran out of space because each episode is being downloaded like in triplicate but hey she's getting those podcast episodes yeah she now has awareness to something she wants you to know of yeah right yeah it's like oh man I got like Kara Ed Deja are putting out three episodes a week no no it's the same episode you're just downloading it three separate times um so yeah like whenever uh uh you're spreading the word on this like ask for their phone you're like hey let me see your phone I'll I I can get you signed up for it and the more people that sign up the more people that uh the more followers we have and all that kind of stuff the higher up we go on those algorithms on iTunes and Amazon and Google and and Spotify and we come up quicker and all that kind of stuff so uh I'm still working on the whole um um Patreon account so for those of you who want to uh give us donations and um so yeah that's uh that's what we've got going on media wise obviously the the best ones the best form of social media are you guys going out there and telling everybody about it uh try to get your oldest daughter to listen to the podcast would be a great start I think your friends listen to it more than more than you do. Yeah I'm honestly like scared so so yeah I I know uh uh in the next couple of weeks we've got some interesting episodes coming up everything from a guy who armor plated a bulldozer and tried to destroy a town to uh the transatlantic uh telegraph wire uh lo and behold that was a hot mess uh we've got some more historical stuff coming up French Revolution stuff uh you know King Louis the 16th we've got an ep we're working on recording for like I don't know the 15th time now the triangle shirt waist fire uh that's that one that one's tough that what like we've recorded it a couple of times now but I don't know how to use my mixer and that was like the second time it was brutal like oh boy how these ultra wealthy guys did everything in their power to just cover up everything and well you studied that you you read a book on it I read a book it's called um I don't know what it's called but it's a book and it's really interesting to me and it's not talked about enough I feel like yeah so I remember you hated it because there was like a like a love story.

SPEAKER_05 1:55:43

Yeah the book sucked but learning about it was great. Okay. So I'm not gonna probably I'm not gonna promote the book.

Ed 1:55:49

I'm not gonna promote the book but you're gonna promote the event. Yeah the event is uh it is that yeah the event is really really dicey yeah so so yeah we've got a lot of stuff coming up here pretty soon so yeah thanks for listening uh please stick around for uh future episodes and um yeah let's uh keep it a hot mess.

SPEAKER_05 1:56:11

Bye this is where you say bye to oh bye