Joy Beck: Healing Generations Through Teaching and Truth

On this episode of the We Share podcast, Alex and Julie sit down with Joy, a deeply intentional educator, healer, and single mom, whose life journey has shaped the way she teaches, supports families, and helps others heal. They dive into her story—how a childhood friend inspired her to become a teacher, how parenting through divorce shaped her perspective, and how her own healing from trauma led her to guide others in emotional regulation, energetic hygiene, and self-worth.

Joy opens up about her experiences teaching young children, recognizing their needs not just academically but emotionally and physically—like providing snacks to support their ability to learn, or teaching them to manage their emotions in healthier ways. She speaks candidly about divorce, parenting mistakes, childhood trauma, and how generational patterns can silently influence adult relationships and self-perception.

Throughout the episode, Joy emphasizes the power of owning your story, recognizing your worth, and learning to release emotional “sludge.” She shares her belief that people—especially parents—are doing the best they can with what they know, and that real healing comes when we face our truths with vulnerability, not shame. Whether it’s working with kids, clients, or her own children, she continues to lead with empathy, intentionality, and a desire to lighten others’ burdens.

The episode closes with a powerful reminder from Joy: you are enough.

Transcript

Part. Okay. Three. Two. One. And we're back on the We Share podcast. I'm Julie and I'm Alex. And I have a great friend in the studio today. She was a friend first guest second. Yes. But why don't you go ahead and introduce Joy to all of our listeners? I'm so happy to introduce. We said her name already?

Yeah. Okay. You can say it again. Okay. Because it's a great name. It's joy. Yes. It's, she's full of joy. She's a trusted holy. Okay. You're going to edit this? She's a trusted, holistic, healing expert, certified body code and emotion code practitioner, owner. She supports men and women, children and families with emotional and, physical challenges and trauma.

She's also a mother. Twice divorced. Say all things good. What the heck, Joe joy back. Welcome. Say that again. What the heck. Joy back. Welcome to We Share for so glad to have you. Thank you. We're so glad you're here. I know Joy on a completely different level. She's been a client of mine. I've done her eyelashes for many years before.

Done her eyebrows, done her lips. I like my fingerprints are all over her face. Thank. And during those I can see them I love that. Yeah. And during those times, I got to know her so well. But I'm going to try to just let the listeners learn about her here and not step on her and and let her really explain herself.

So, Joy, tell us from the beginning, I know you're a small town girl. Let everyone know how you how you came about to be this person. So I grew up on a farm and we raised beef cattle. And the work ethic was from the beginning, wasn't really a choice, but man, I'm grateful for that. And I'm really grateful because my kids picked that up, too.

So which where where are we in Aberdeen and Aberdeen, Idaho. So did you know Neil Larson? She was a freshman when I was a senior. To be honest, I are you kind of a cougar? He remembers me right, Neil, remember the place we're going to? I'm going to tease him. I don't remember him well, but I was involved in anything humanly possible in high school.

Were you a cheerleader? No. Junior student body? Yeah. From or from sports and, Spanish club. Like anything that you could physically be. I was in it. I mean, we've got basically Reese Witherspoon here, so I know that he for sure knew you. Yeah, he knew he, you know, he small town girl. And he was he was my cousin's age.

We have a very large family base. And so he was he was my cousin's age, so it was fun. But, grew up on a farm, lots of good work ethic. And then from the age, well, from fourth grade I, because of my fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Pearce, who I have had the opportunity to since, thank her many times.

That's why I became a teacher. And so all things education. I was that studious person who didn't do anything really. Probably fun, comparative to what some people in high school do. Because I was studious, I knew, I knew, I thought scripture chases were fun. What are you talking about? I was a nerd. Yeah. No, not. I'm right there with you.

And so, but I so I became a teacher, and I've been able to. I met her in Pocatello the day that we were coming back from my graduation and saw her like an Arctic Circle. Random and or not, or no divine intervention. Intervention, and was able to thank her and said, guess what? I just did and explained that she was the reason I became a teacher and then later speed dial I when I was, I think I was on my second marriage when I was teaching some classes through Utah State, and she was in came walking through the doors.

And so I had the chance to then explain to a classroom of teachers because it was like a make and take class. That the positive impact that teachers have or can have. And it was able to thank her again. And just that reminder to teachers that how they treat kids is huge for the good or for the bad.

And to really be intentional. So that was the reason I went to, to became a teacher and I've taught for, I just retired last year and I've taught for 29 years, mostly littles. 15 of those was kindergarten. So a little wild and crazy. She's an angel. I have literally like some of the best memories from kindergarten.

I love I love guys, really, most of my teachers. I can't say, well, good, I'm sorry I repressed it. If there's a bad one along the way. We have some that are just tired, more than or frustrated and don't know, you know. Oh, I've experienced bad teachers with my children. Yeah, but the good thing about kids is they're so resilient and forgiving.

And so. And that's the great thing for teachers. One thing I want to point out with what you just said, Joy, and I know you've done this repeatedly throughout your life. She doesn't just educate littles, though. She said she loves the littles, right? But she always educates the teachers around her. And when you had that second opportunity to tell your mentor or the person who inspired you, right.

Thank you. You were you were teaching other teachers. Yes. Yes. Because I think it's it's important, I think, for lifelong learners or we should be. Now, some of us hate school, I mean, right there for them and want to be done. But it matters that we are continuously growing. And for teachers, I've watched, luckily I've not had any that were too adverse to me, but I watched teachers just annihilate kids whether they were in high school, which that's a whole nother breed, right?

I chose not to teach that age, but people thought just as crazy of the littles. But to be able to help one person inspire or uplift someone else, that's why we're here. And you. It is such an important calling, because I don't think that everyone takes that mantle on themselves. No. And and that doesn't diminish them. They can be fantastic teachers, but there's a need for people like you as well who will teach the littles and the peers and the parents.

And yeah, there is a there's a level of helping parents navigate all of that because because it wasn't smooth when I was a young mom. And it's it's just getting trickier. Absolutely. Yeah. They have devices and all these things distracting them. It is it is it's it's easy to be a squirrel, but now it's like a squirrel on crack.

So is that compare that you said 29 years of teaching. Yes. Many of those as kindergarten. Yes. What's the difference between kindergarten kids from your first year and kindergarten kids from last year? So one of the things that I noticed is and there's really not it's more societal than it was location of where the schools were. I truly believe that parents are doing the best they can with what they know.

Yeah, I think all three of us are special young parents. Right. We have got a clear we're doing the best we can. There's no manual. If there was a manual we would have lost it or at least I would have. You would have filed it away I wouldn't have, I would have lost it and had to reorder it.

And so and so I buried it. So it's, it's something that I really do think parents are trying the best they can, but as a person that had to have 2 to 3 jobs, I think when we get busy trying to meet those obligations, parents get overwhelmed. And there was a ton more support when I first started teaching because at one school I taught for 11 years in Kinder double sessions.

It's a lot of kids, and it was a smaller community and lots of good support, lots of great humans, all wanting the same thing for their teacher to love their kid, hopefully, is, you know, close to what they are and to teach them. And for me, it was more of teach them that learning was fun and that it could be.

And that, yeah, there was hard things and we all have things. Who will likes to clean a toilet, but we have to because otherwise that's gross. Same with teaching. With teaching, not always is a fun, but there's a way to make it fun. And and that's one of my superpowers. But speed dial that you get that frustration and then devices does I truly do believe devices has affected the attention span right.

And I'm highly entertaining. But there's a there's only so much I'm not comparable to Minecraft or to whatever game is the latest and greatest. So that had a factor to it. And then that accountability, I could, I could say, hey, work with your child. And oftentimes it was because parents were working two jobs. I get it, I lived it, I'm living it, I get it.

But, having that ability to hold your own kids accountable, my kids knew if they got in trouble, they came home and and they knew. And they joke about it now as teenagers and young adults are like, yeah, the first thing out of your mouth was what was your part? Because that's what I expected. Because they oh, we always have a part in it.

And that part is miss is is not as strong. Yeah I, I think that we had some pretty aggressive, parenting patterns and that was on one side of the pendulum. And we have now swung to the other side of the pendulum with an absence of parenting patterns, because you don't want to repeat the aggressive right parenting patterns.

Well, and the one thing I've noticed is and and I am friends with my kids now. But that wasn't my key goal growing up. And as a single mom, I, Alex and yeah, I've been married and divorced twice, and the first time I had a three and a half year old and a newborn, that was not a fun ride.

My my son's contributing amazing adults. You back by the grace of God and all that is holy. Yes, and a whole lot of terrible help. But it is something that, expecting your kids to be nice humans. And that is a phrase that I've used sprinkled throughout my entire time. I'm like, oh, are you the nicest human?

So within the last ten years, I taught a lot of those social skills that kids weren't coming with for whatever reason. It doesn't matter what they I think it just falls through the cracks will be at the end of the day if it's not a safe environment, they can't learn. And so you teach them to be nice humans.

You teach them how to interact and how to solve without their fists and without bad words. And they can, because if five year olds can do it, the rest of us can. I. I frequently mention on air when talking politics, when we tell a story, say we learned this in kindergarten, how do we forget it? Yeah. How did we forget these behavior patterns?

Right. There's five year olds that are acting better than what we're currently acting like. Yes. And it's the person. Yeah. It's so true. It's it is interesting how that is. But and I tell them all the time, I would tell them, you know, your parents can do this, you can do this. And, and they love learning that they can have control, you know, and they can make good choices.

And then the other flip side of that coin is I help them to recognize how does that make you feel? How how do you feel when you're on the lookout for greatness? How do you feel when you're helping someone who's struggling instead of laughing at them? Because we have all lived the other side. Yeah. Like be the friend to the new kid.

Yeah. The one that comes in that's lonely and, and they can, we can even as grownups sometimes we have to be gently reminded and, and I can of course correct that too. I have a question to ask you about that also is just because this has been heavy on my mind, like diet and where food is at now, do you see a difference there with like the snacks and the high sugar content?

Did you see a shift as that increased? And it is when you have kiddos that come with a full can of soda and they have ten minutes to eat, and so they suck down the soda and then they don't have the brain power to make it through so. Or the decision making. Right? Right. It just it is. And so those are those are things that.

And I get it. It's it's cheaper to eat poorly. Holy crap. Yeah. Sorry. Can I say that. Yeah. Properly. We've sworn I here before. You guys. I'm trying I you can say that I, I have replacement words for those. Yeah. But, it and so I as we went through I would we had snack and often times I provided it just because I knew their brains needed food to fuel.

And so I taught them about that and expected them to have and, and, and I had fabulous parents that would donate and we, you know, snacks and we would we would have that because if I'm hungry as a grown up, because we're all just overgrown kids. Really? Yeah. Some of us think we're not, but really we are.

But food does matter. Well, and do they do naps anymore? I remember taking naps in. We don't now, when I taught, in McCammon, probably. Oh, goodness. Maybe ten years ago, we did full day, and when we did full day, we would take a rest time. And I, I always provided some time of downtime, and I would read to them because their, their body just needs that reset.

So I was very intentional about teaching them to learn how to regulate and different ways to do that so that they could readjust instead of thinking, oh, I have to flip out because there are many times kids get programed, they get they get, they learn the behaviors, they learn. They can go, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom.

And as parents, we oftentimes let them until we want to shake them, which we don't. Oh, we're just like, and really, if we would say, just a minute, I'm finishing up and then go back and okay, now, now I can listen. What do you need? It's simple things, but we let it escalate and then we get frustrated and it teaches them.

I oftentimes would say, oh, does that work at home? Because that's not going to work here. Let's try it this way. And they looked at me crazy for a while. Not okay. And then pretty soon they're like, oh, we we can't do that with Miss Beck. They look at her and say, what the heck, miss back? Yeah. And she's like, I trained you go home and tell your mom they aren't.

And timers would go home and say, say things. And and I say weird things because it's fun. And I, I taught them often that the weird is the new call and that it is okay to not fit the mold. I bet the other side of this coin for you, I'm just going to go out there and assume that you had kids, that when you sat down at parent teacher conference for your kids, kids like your actual children, right?

You would hear great things back about them and their behavior because they had learned from you. They might have been tough for you at times, but then you're I'm guessing they were having words. Some of them had some struggles which were human. Right? Yeah. However, I was grateful that they behaved better for others than for me. Yes.

Because at times I was that mama that, if they needed a slot, they got one because I got one. Yeah. And and but I expected them. I taught them how to be good humans. Yeah. I just have to tell this story because it involves all three of us. We have John Bell, Jeanie, who works here at the stations where we record.

We share his wife. She worked at a school that Joy worked at. Oh, yeah? Was it Mrs. Bell? Jeanie. So camera is her first name. I remember going to both of my girls had camera and loved her. It was a great fifth grade year. It was one tastic. And, but at parent teacher opening day, like the orientation, she would set in both orientations was this was her face.

I'll believe about half of what your kids says about you. If you'll believe about half of what your kids says about me and will have a great relationship. And I said that for 29 years. And the things that you hear from kids, I'm like, oh, thank you. Yeah. You hear it all. And as a mom, you think, oh, or as a teacher, I would be like, oh, I am not sure your mom wants the rest of us to know that.

Now I know I'm sure. Private. Yeah. And you just tuck. I call it tuck and roll because kids are hilarious, and they're supposed to be their kids. And, it is true. Their lack of, like, their lack of it. Yeah. It's actually really refreshing sometimes. Yeah. That whole, the that show the kids say the darndest things.

It's so funny. I mean, there is a whole. Yeah. Yeah. It's all. So you had this, this like moment where you began feeling like there was a bigger calling for you teaching. You were awesome at it had fulfilled a portion of your life. But there was more that was out there. So explain to the listeners how that happened.

So I grew up really holistically. I'm used oils. I was the honey and and and wheat generation. No white bread, no wonder bread for me. White wonder wonderful white wonder bread, that's for sure. And with that, though, I learned we didn't go to the hospital very often and I learned holistic ways. And when I had a chance, I found out about fit zoning.

That was probably the first, first, modality. And I knew that I could learn how to do it, because when your kids need you or need that, I didn't usually it's at late at night, right? And no one's going to answer your phone call. And I already knew about oils. I already knew a lot of that kind of care.

And so I learned how to zone feet in Utah. When I lived there, I finished up at Utah State and lived in Cache Valley and was able to learn that process because I knew I could. I couldn't do it on myself, but I could I could help my kids. And then pretty soon they were telling their friends and people found out, and you have to practice on people, right?

And so that was the beginnings. And then I had learned different ways to energetically reset my areas. And the reason I say that I one of the years in teaching, there was a lot of transition, a lot of a lot of chaos and a lot of conflict and I would, set my classroom. I took diffused oils, and I, I would set my classroom.

So it was a safe place to learn. And people would come in and we had fantastic support staff and I had many that would come in and go, oh, can I have, can I eat lunch in here? Because it was a lovely big room and I'm like yeah you bet. And they'd come in and go do you have anything for me to do.

Because I just, I just like this room and I'm like, it's it, it's on purpose. There's a reason you like this room. And they look at me like I was cracked and crazy, and I just kind of giggled and went on with it. And I started to learn about energy work and shifting that. So that it could be the best area for, for kids to learn.

And wasn't perfect. No, but man, it made a difference. And I did that throughout my journey. So I, I knew that I wanted to learn ways to be able to help me and mine first, right? And then to benefit those that I had any kind of contact with. Yeah, I know this about her. Like I said, I want her to explore this in front of them, but it there is times that I have had clients come and I work on them and I am absorbing this, just this and this and this negative and it even though there were times that that joy would come in very like share some sad concepts that were happening

to her. It was I never left the appointment going, oh, I feel so heavy and drained because you, you have that capability of, of, recognizing what's going on around you and not inflicting pain on people. Even though you're talking about difficult subjects. It's not a transfer of like a dump, right? It's a we're sharing together. Right. And that's a that is a gift.

Definitely it. I have been really grateful for that ability and even that the idea of absorbing that's actually a thing is to absorb someone's energy. And some people are like, here, it's almost like they're gifting it like, oh, here, you take it because I know you can take you can deal with it. So you take it. And learning how to protect our energy and with and and being that friend and being that person for someone else without picking it all up.

And as mamas and parents, we often times do we want to take that burden from our kids. And yet that's not the best for them, but being that person. And so I teach people how to do that. I love to teach people how to set those boundaries and how to do that energetic hygiene. So is that what is called that emotion code training that you do?

It's it's close, but not the emotion code and body code. Ours is a practice that, Doctor Bradley Nelson had created. And what that does is it helps tap into, either known or unknown emotions, and it can be emotions or physical, because oftentimes physical ailments have an emotional underbelly. Right. And identifying where those are and if there's any hidden reasons or I call them treasures because if it's going to, we're going to clear some junk, we might as well call it happy junk.

And so and and then to is simple process to release those. So that is just one of the ways that, that I, that I help clients and in the whole idea is to feel less stress and tend to be able to recognize our worth, because we start to believe the lies that we're self-taught or that we tell ourselves, right.

Sometimes we're our own worst bully. Oh by far, if we we, we would never. Typically. I know there might be some people out there, but even myself I'm guilty of I would never speak to one of my friends, even a stranger, or as harsh as sometimes I have in the past and I watch words matter. You guys know that?

Yeah. And so I really am careful about even about talking about the past of, oh, that's how I used to think as compared to owning it. Now, because it makes a difference, right? Because, well, we're not defined by our past. No. We learn from our past. Yes. Hopefully we choose to learn from our past. Sometimes it takes us a couple of times to to get it, to get it right.

But but all along the way there's always the good along the way. And then there's a lot of like you'll learn, you'll learn great things, and sometimes you'll learn what not to do. And that's okay. To, to process. So you've turned this gift that you have into some business opportunities into, in some, some employment. So tell us about that.

Yes. So I have a business joyful options. Why not play on my name. Right. It's a fun one. What the heck. Joy that right. You should have gone with that, Alex. Options doesn't sound as good as joyful. I won't steal it. Okay, we will work on. But what what I help people with is I help them to be able to find, find the junk, whether you know and help them to be able to identify it in really simple ways and, and then release it.

And that goes back to Chinese medicine. So it's very doable. It's very teachable. Like, of course, can't teach you how to be a practitioner. That's not my role. But I can teach you how to do some self-care and to be able to do some of that on your own. So you aren't reliant on me, right? Yeah. I personally don't want to be reliant on someone else for the rest of my life, so why would I want anyone else to be reliant on me?

And I think we have that capacity to learn. And so I continue to learn things that will help, my clients and I love it when they're less stressed and it's just like, oh, I'm not as heavy. And even just sometimes their whole physical appearance will just be, oh, like, I'm more relaxed and they sleep better and they're a nicer mom or a wife.

Well, hallelujah. Right. Everybody appreciates that. Do you think it's partly just that they have someone that is unbiased, you know, that they can talk to and then you're not. There's no judgment, right? Then you're you're just giving them permission to let go or not carry that anymore. You know what I think we all need that I have I have my people too.

Right. And it is nice to not be emotionally attached. Right? Right. Even when, when things are, when I'm energetically hijacked, I sometimes I can't fix, like, I can't let it go. I'm too close to it. So I have my people as well. And it is nice to know that if I call Julie, I know she's not going to go.

Oh, but Joy, remember this and remember this and remember this and oh my laws. Did you forget about this? No, I never hear that from you. Because I know you're a safe person and we all need to. And truthfully, I teach. We need to have a handful. Yeah, we need to have about 3 to 5. Because if I'm in crisis and I call you Julie and you are busy with a client and you're my only person, I could spiral in a heartbeat.

But if I have you and Alex and Debbie and Melissa, I can go down that list, right? Because we all have life that happens to us. We do. I love that you called it junk, because I've said before, it's really not that different from your house. Some of us has junk drawers. Yeah, some of us have junk closets or some precious or junk bedroom.

Yes, yes. And we do that with our soul. Yes. Also. And the goal is to get it from a garage and a bedroom down to maybe just a drawer. Right. You know, something that's much more manageable, right? I it takes days to unpack a garage. Oh, my lawn. But a drawer you can fix in at a shorter amount of time with less strain, less less outside help.

So if we can diminish that down to less junk, it's just healthy living. Well, then the part there's two things with that. One is and I've compared this a couple of times and it makes sense in my head. Let's see if it makes sense in yours. We all take a shower a bath hopefully at least once a week, right?

At least at least every one today. Sometimes twice a day. And we brush our teeth because we'd like to have friends and we'd like to be able to chew food. So we need our teeth, right? We take we we take our car in, hopefully, like we, we maintain things all of the time. So it would make sense that we need to do those check ins with our soul or with our, our head and our heart.

And just like sometimes when our bodies are ailing, we have to go to a doctor. We have to go to someone else to get some help. Or when your car is making that weird sound right and you take it into mechanic, we have to. We go, we seek help. Sometimes we have to seek help to be able to get through and to move past where we're at now.

I've done it as a single mama on a myriad of of levels, more than just energetic, and holistic means. Right? So I it makes sense that it's okay to ask for help. And there used to be a huge stigma against that. And now why not? It's almost like you are a stronger person if you can recognize my life, not you, but my life's a little out of control.

And then to look at what can I control and what can can I ask for help? Right. Just being aware. Yeah, right. Just aware because we're we're human and it's okay because one of the things I found is as I started my healing journey, because I didn't want I didn't want to, I felt cracked and crazy. And being a single mom, it wasn't easy.

Now, but I wanted to get healed enough that I wasn't a hack author all the time because that's what I felt like. And so I wanted to heal. But what I found out about and I was, I was like, I got to do something right, or there might be some dead body. So not literally, but I felt that way.

But the part that's great is I didn't realize I was setting an example for my kids. Yeah, they needed to see you learn to heal. Right. And then it wasn't I it because I tend to be the happy person. That's my nature. Truly. It is. But it gave them permission to not be okay all the time because we're not going to be okay.

I'm right. Certainly I wasn't that picture perfect, but it gave them a chance to know that they could have those tough days. And it didn't. It didn't define them, if that makes sense now. Oh, well, it makes a lot of sense to me because I went through two divorces as well. Yeah. I would say one of the things that I've learned through divorce is to take my ownership and my role in it.

You know, we all have because I definitely, you know, struggled to get over some things which created walls, you know, and and if you're not working on it, then you're working against it and it doesn't go away. It just gets piled upon. Right. And I just created one set of problems and for a different set of problems, and it goes from a job.

Yeah, yeah. It goes from a junk drawer to a junk room. Yeah. You know, and then you hope that you don't get to the junkyard. Yeah, yeah. Hey. Well, shameless plug for my client this week. This weekend I had Big Dave pick and pull free tacos Friday and Saturday I love it. Yeah, I like I just put that out there for I love it.

Anyway, total sidebar, but no, back to serious. Like it really? For me, I can own it. And then the hope is that I don't repeat that, right? Right. Like. Oh, yeah, well, that's what you're learning. The healing portion of it. Yes. Because I think for a lot of people, therapy means just throwing it up. Right. But we've got to learn skills because the crap's going to keep happening.

That's life. Right. And we're going to have those ups and downs. And when I started my healing journey, for me personally, I started with therapy and it was the talk therapy. And they were were fantastic at bringing it all up like super fantastic. But it was like energetic sludge and I didn't know what to do with it. And they gave me 1 or 2 clues to like I wrote in a journal.

And that helps, and it really can. But there was nothing to truly help me let it go. And so you might like how deep could you get into, like part of why? Like maybe you got divorced the first time. What was like a big thing. Yeah. What did you need to let go? If you're comfortable sharing, know. Yeah.

That's fine. I, for me, I had one of the things that hijacked on my part of the marriage not going well, was, I had some childhood trauma that I didn't even know about because our brains are so powerful about suppressing them until we're cognitively able to process or something else will trigger it, or something else will trigger it.

And that would be me getting married for me personally. And so when that came up, I had a lot of issues that I started to learn how to work through. And then there was some there was some disconnect. I was raised on a farm, lots of work ethic, you know, keeping your word, all of those things.

And and if people if two aren't.

For lack of a better word, equally yoked in that and then that being a priority and not like he's a good man and, so but you were like, maybe over here doing all the work. It was, was like, oh, this is nice. It was just it was just not enough. And there were some key values that I wanted more for my for my sons.

Yes. And so that was the choice that I made. And it was very much against about everybody in there. Dog thought I was cracked and crazy and, I knew it in my soul and stayed true to it. And my boys, they have a relationship with their dad. He's a good human. They're really close with me. And they have learned, through it all.

They've learned what not to do, right. And what to do and have recognized that. And I'm certain there's things in my life that they learned not to do. Right. However, that was that was something, that was important. A partnership was important to you. Yes, it was. And that was even with with my second marriage. Good enough human.

But the values of what's really important at the end of the day, need to be on the same plane. And when they're not, you can make it work for a while. But I finally, I wanted I wanted that soul connection. Longevity was not in the end and it just wasn't. And and that was really that was a hard blow as you.

Yes. You know, do you feel like your kids know that going into, like, are any of your kids married? My sons are. Yeah, my sons are in and I've got grandkids and they are very much more aware and intentional because of the life that they've lived and watched. Right. And so they know the hard road. Yeah. And they and they know what it is to be committed and they know to communicate and to be able to have not do the blame game and not, just be one sided.

They, they have they learned that which I'm so grateful for you and I that never is going to erase the pain that either of you have gone through, but at least it makes some of the pain have a value, right? That that there could be good that came out of it. Right? I know my oldest son initially, you know, he probably verbalized the most anger because he was seven.

Yeah. You know, and down to Libby, it's tears. She can't remember. Right. Because I broke up his family just because the second marriage was so hard on him, like, verbally, mentally, physically. Right. Abuse. And and so he obviously just was like, oh, my dad was better than that. So I ruined I, I did all this damage to him.

But now there's so many. Seven. Yeah. So he thought that was how that was how he internalized. Yeah. But then growth time, he can see how I did what I could to get out of that, to then show them a healthier relationship or no relationship at all, which, which is healthier than not. The one thing that I, any time I can share, especially with, with single parents, whether I know dads that have been single dads and and have done a fantastic job just because you're one gender, the other does not make you dipped in gold.

And is to be kind about the other parent. Yes. And that's hard. And I know I tried I think they ended up being like, I have to take my first husband. Once he got things figured out, he ended up being a better dad. Right? Because I am an enabler. So I would be that run around, do everything you want to know that I even needed him at times because I didn't ask, right?

So I mean, I feel like definitely need to own my role in some of the things you all do. We all have those choices. Even with even in a marriage, there are there's good, bad and ugly because you're you're with another human, right? Yeah. I've, I've always said some of the things that bother me now 31 years in, I actually trained him up to do.

Yeah. It was kind of my fault. You're like, wait, I, I want to change this now. You're like, oh, can you, can we redo that? But it is, it is really 2.0 just really just released hot on the market. Yeah. But one of the things that I recognized and then I saw it as a mom and I tried as best I could, I'm sure I screwed up along the way.

However, I saw it as a teacher. Huge is you have to remember as a parent, if you're split, there's reasons that you're split. Your kids do not need to know the reasons that there's they'll eventually grow up and they'll figure it out. And then I was very I tried very, very hard to keep that. I, I have firm belief about that.

You don't do that. And the other is is to not bad mouth the other parent. And the reason is, is because those kids are part of that parent and they still it's half of them. And they and you think as, as the person you might think, oh, well, I'm just letting you know how that is. However they internalize it, whether they can articulate it usually not, but they internalize those feelings and it comes in every aspect of their lives.

And so that was another piece with teaching is teaching those kids how to help navigate the trade offs. I called it Trade Day when they went to the other parent house and navigating the fact that they were going to be extra naughty for the first couple of days prior to it, because they were geared up for that changing of the guards and the rules were different.

I feel like if had even that's just even with like when the ex was my spouse, but when he wasn't there and then when he was there, we had like two ways we interacted as a family. And then it's almost like teaching them to be like, hey, you're going to be like this with me, this with your dad.

They're like, what today? What? And they really are on eggshells. And so teaching them how how to stay true and and to and hopefully be able to communicate in nice ways when they're teenagers. All bets are off. Right. Door slam. However however, it just helps them to realize that if both parents can remember, oh, we're we're here for the kid.

I call it play nice in the sandbox. Yeah, yeah. It's unfortunate that not both can all the time. No. So as long as you do your part and then just be kind, like you said. And the and I've had those moments, but usually it's because they're, they're energetically hijacked like there's, there's baggage, there's junk in the trunk and, and it bleeds on to everything.

Okay. So I have never really thought about this till this moment because I know about joyful options and I know about your wonderful teaching and the modalities that you use. But can you do those with children too. Can people get a hold of you. Oh yes. Yeah I can because the easiest why not help them now before they carry it all the way through life.

Right. Well. And to learn different strategies as much as I could without crossing those lines. I taught my students those self-regulating skills because they can. And when they're feeling like they're out of control, they can breathe these. There's there's so many different things. And I do sessions with kids, I can do them in person. I can do we do I have a sweet little family in Boise that, I have the five year old and the.

And I think she's now ten. And then the mom and the dad. So what? Great gift this family is giving their kids because they're learning how to have those better coping skills, and they're learning how to work as a family unit. That's my favorite is to be able to teach those skills. Kids are the easiest. They have the least junk right?

Even if they've gone through traumatic, they still have less than the rest of us that are well. And like I said, they are willing to forgive. They are right. We get kind of hardened. We can as we get older and they're just not like that. Littles are not like that now. So it it is it's something that is I think my oldest client, well that would be my dad.

So almost 88. And, and I've, helped even just babies that are like three months old that had, more of that was like with proxy. So, like, helping them, had a skin condition and there was a lot of underlying energetic reasons and was able to help. So, so do you believe, like trauma passes from the mother to the not to maybe very through.

Yes. Hands down is generational. Yep. I was listening to a podcast the other day and I was walking. I might have mentioned the sun we share already, but I was walking and I'm weeping while I'm walking because when I get out the sunglasses. Yeah. Because they were talking about the connection between mother and child. And my youngest was two and a half pounds, and I didn't hold her until she was four weeks old.

And they don't do that anymore. But that was the the practice back then. And I am crying because I'm like, she missed so many key things and I didn't even know it. And I was trusting that they and I would have loved to have had somebody help her recenter that energy. Even as a three month old. Because can you imagine starting your life in a bright room under lights and and tubes hanging out of your mouth and one in your belly, and they're poking your feet?

She saw scars on her feet from them taking the blood. Yeah, like that's trauma moms. It is. And what's what's interesting if I can say this without crying, my second son.

I knew that the marriage was over, and this. My. If my boys hear this, it might be hard for them. However, I knew that it was over, but I was. I was growing my second son when I left. Their dad and there was a time I wouldn't trade him for the world, but I knew it was going to be hard.

I thought, let's get this right. I thought I knew it was going to be hard. Let's just put it that way. It was way harder than you thought. I know, but I but I, I thought I knew it was going to be hard and I just, I was like, how can I do this with two kids? So there was parts of me I didn't want another baby because I knew I was that the marriage wasn't going to last and I didn't have the skills or the belief in myself to know that I could make it through it.

So all of those emotions there is, those emotions pass to the to the baby. And they passed generational. And so when I came across emotion code and body code. And knew that there was generational, and learned about heart wall, which is that protector of your heart, which is a whole different thing as well. I went to each of my kids and said, can and they, they always are like, oh, mom's doing her thing again, right?

And they used to call me the voodoo checks. Worn as a badge of honor. Badge of honor. But then the first to go, oh, can you do my seat next year? Oh, will you, will you? I've got junk. You know, I backed her team. We clear whatever junk in it because they now know and they've had the results.

But I went to each of my kids and said, can I. Can I just clear whatever I gifted you or whatever? You have that I, that I had any part of as a, as the mama growing up because they all went with that and I was able to and I had at least at least once I cleared all of their heart walls.

And then I had a lot. I had passed a lot to my second son, and he had a lot of anger, rightfully so. Lot of anger. And and was able to at least clear and declutter that so that they didn't have to wait till they were 45, because I was 45 when I came across that modality and experienced the lightness of my heart and, and just my hold over, you know, I my body thinks it should store right through my neck and shoulders and that, you know, the weight of the world.

And so I that lessened and I went, I have to at least if they're willing. And they were and I was so grateful and I have they all know like you don't have to wait till you're 45. Why not declutter that now? Because all of our experiences, it's like wearing those shaded glasses, right? Our our view we view and we live through our life's experiences.

Call it trauma, call it whatever you want. It doesn't matter. And so why not clear that all out. And it's simple and it doesn't have to be hard. And I think that's one of the things I see a lot of people that are like, oh, like like they're afraid. Like, oh, if you really knew what my junk was, you'd hate me.

Well, number one, I don't remember it. And number two, I was that person. I was that person growing up. And I didn't even know why, but felt like if people really knew me, they would hate me. And yet I was very outgoing and, you know, and most people knew exactly. No, I was involved in everyone's and everything.

So everyone knew who Joy back was because I was involved in everything. You had a good game face? Yeah, I had a really good game face. But most people did not know that. I really didn't like myself back then. Yeah, at all. I I'll just be brutally vulnerable right here. Yeah, I've thought that before that if I, if I do therapy or if I open up like that, there all of a sudden I'm not going to be a likable person or I will have failed or I it makes me less of a person.

And we've got to get past that. Yeah. Oh, I've been in therapy since I was five. Or maybe. Yeah, I think five. So. Good. All right. Well I don't know what's good. And there's different ways or you have to find just definitely there was some trauma there. Right. But right. Like to speak to like the story you shared.

I don't think I would say there's more women that have had the feeling been pregnant with that baby, not wanting to be married than not like it. For me, it was I got pregnant with, my second son and I. Still we were working through our issues and I knew once he came I was definitely done. But I'm like, strategizing.

And I think females do that. They'll disconnect and they the the spouse doesn't even really know that you're you're on your exit. And I end up pregnant with Libby while I'm trying to strategize. And I'm like, how does this happen? Well, we know how this happens, but I did not plan that. So then what I do, I stay.

You can't be a single mom with three kids. How are you going to do that? Until I couldn't do it anymore, you know, you you just do it until you can't, but. Well, and it's interesting because I think sometimes for the longest time, I used to think that women had more trauma than men. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's the programing.

Who knows? However, I've come to learn that maybe it's because oftentimes men are a little more. I call it allergic to healing. I like, but but really, if you think about it, men societally and and for for eons of time weren't really allowed to express themselves. If anger. Yep. Anger. Frustration, violence. Sure. But it's competition. Dominance, right?

Dominance. But not any of those like oh, we can't have heartfelt we can't get hurt. We can't because I don't want to cry shallow emotion. Right. And, and and there's good and bad in both. And I've probably taken on more of that male role, my role because I had to, however, feel like she's me. I care like for you, but you speak the same language.

But man, men have just as much healing and I I've watched the my clients, some of them are hesitant because it's that vulnerability of like, oh, am I going to become less of a person? And yet, no, I've watched some who I've been able to help assist. Right. Because it's not me. I'm just that either block or that that conduit.

Right. But to be able to help them and then watch them just step more into their power, was their power there all the time? You bet. But it got buried. Yeah. I was told by one counselor once, like therapist, that men are just better by their sister, not at compartmentalizing. They are. So they just have boxes and they just go open that box in it.

And like, women were like, it's soup. It's like open all over. So it's but it is interesting how how we navigate and how that pendulum has swung for parenting for, relationships. Yeah. Relationships and, and and where that value as a society of. Oh, well, if you're not married. Well, what's wrong with you? Or if you are, oh, you're divorced.

Well. Oh. And then they want to know all the nitty gritty. Oh yeah. Then they're like oh you're single. Yep. That that's in the past and I'm I'm continuing to heal. Am I ever hopeful that there's that that there's someone amazing? You betcha. And in the meantime, I'm not going to sit and just do nothing. I'm going to keep moving forward and helping people and and improving and improving me.

Like investing in yourself. Yeah. If she wasn't going to say helping people, I was going to say that part. Okay. So, we're really long here, so tell me, how do we how do we know how to make this in two part. Yeah. Maybe. Maybe. Yeah. How do they get Ahold of you? So probably the best is better call joy.com.

And, which I have know I have that better called joycons because I had to have something I could remember. Yeah. And I love to do, 20, 30 minute, free consultation. Explain what I do if it's a good fit because I might not be your person and that's okay too, but that is one. I have a Facebook, place as well.

It's joyful. Joy back. But is it? It's now. What the heck. Joy back now. What the heck. Joy back. Begin your personal healing journey. No joy back healing. Healing. Oh, my. Lost here. There you go. Look. That will look it up. Really? Just swirled it, but, And my number. It's my number for joy. Better call joy.com.

Okay. And I'm happy to better call Joycon. So remember pull. So that's a that's a very easy one. That is a very easy one. But I'm on socials. So it just, it says joy back joy dash dash joy back heeler dash. Joyful. Yep. Okay. Joy back heeler dash joyful. Do you want to leave our audience with just some words of wisdom?

We always ask people to leave, like a little nugget or their life. But you've given us so much. So I know I. Well, I still want to know. Like, so free consult. And then how long after does this take this process? So as far as before, you can feel the results. Everything like so if somebody comes to you they want to release stuff.

They want to heal their body, their family. Like what is a typical is there typical? Is it a like, well, is it all over the gamut? What I, what I love to see and I've seen the best results with, if you're older than a minute, you're a one and done is not going to be enough. Right?

Right. And so. So I'm older than a minute. Yep. You just barely. Okay. Yes. Just barely 51 minutes, I got you. I'm 55. Yeah. So I, I recommend I like I like a deal. So I offer like a, two pack and a four pack just to kind of see. And, kids, I can do shorter sessions because their attention span is that of a squirrel.

And so 30 minute typically a session is an hour. And, you can come in with an intention of what you'd like. Some people will come in with, with a physical ailment or an emotional ailment, you know, that is is struggling with, they're struggling with. And then we work through the process and I, I can't help it.

I'm a that teacher by nature. So I teach you different ways so you can do some maintenance on your own, and then you have free access. You know, you can text me and say, oh, I'm really struggling with this. And we can line it up. The most often of sessions I've done is three sessions in a week.

However, I typically it's one, sometimes two sessions. It really depends on if you're ready to let go of stuff and you've got the time. Yeah. So, but it's it's amazing how even after one, session, how you can feel. I had that sweet family in Boise. I don't hear from people for a while. And then I, they reached out and there one other younger one was was struggling and and I had asked, so we lined up a session.

We couldn't do it. I did a proxy session for them. For their child. And then the next one we did via zoom. Right. And and I asked, I'm like, why? You know what is this? And they it had been long enough that they were struggling and, and the child was able to regulate and calm and not be as angry and, and be able to just move through their days better.

And it had built up and built up and built up and we think, oh, it doesn't matter. Well, why not get ahead of that curve, right? Instead of having it be where you're always almost blowing your top. So it's like waiting five weeks to shovel the snow, like shovel this and then it's ice. Yeah, it's permanent five weeks to mow your lawn because yes, leading to that, that was compared to or waiting five weeks to clean your house.

I am guilty of that. Sometimes. And then and then it waits and then it becomes this monster where really, it doesn't need to be. Yeah. Have you heard? I heard this recently that, like, with pain, because you're identifying that clearly it's a trauma or a mental anguish that can show up in your body. So I have heard that if you have knee pain or foot pain, it's because you might be struggling to move forward in something.

I've, I which is if you had an injury. I'm not talking to you. Go see that. Seek medical attention. Right. But give us pause. There are there are different, body parts and different areas, and organs and glands that generate different emotions, at least with the modalities that I've learned. So grief is one that gets generated in your lungs.

It can be your lungs or your colon. And so that grief can settle there. Sadness, grief. Lots of there's there's about eight different emotions. And so there are, there are emotions that when you look a little deeper it correlates. And it's just it's intriguing because it might be the reason, it might not. But it does make you wonder.

Yeah. And and I've heard got a lot like oh gosh. Yeah. That's that's a huge one for self-esteem and anxiety and worry and Yes. Okay. It's. Yeah. And depression like anxiety. Depression. So like if you suffer from those. Yeah. Get your diet right, get your energy. Make sure you're sleeping, your breathing. Move your body. My heart.

What is that? What am I holding there. Let me pull this out so I can not always do. I have the memories, but I will. I'll read just that heart when so. And it's because they're related to like, yoga, like heart chakra. Is there a correlation there as well? There is. There can be and there chakras are as well.

So your heart, it's your heart or small intestines as far as with this process, is, abandonment, betrayal, love, unresolved insecurities, heartache, vulnerability in a, you know, several others. That's what I think when you're an if and you feel abandoned. Yes. And it can be the abandonment can be emotional or or even kids leaving the nest. Right?

Yeah. Because it's a really empty time of life. There's no parents, there's no kids. They live in other states. And your roles are redefining. Yeah. So it's always good to do a check in. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So much to think about. So much to think about. Okay. Did you want to leave us with a little. Yeah, a little nugget of joyful, joyful and joyful options.

One of the things I like to just let people remember is that you're enough. And the reason I say that is because I hid behind that. Not truly to my soul, not thinking I was for so many years. And you're enough. You're more than enough. But you've forgotten. And it might just be. You might just go out with a girlfriend or a buddy and and you know, and just.

You can be more authentic and it could be just that much. But to truly be okay in your own skin, you have to realize that you're enough. Or remember that you're enough, and then give yourself some grace. It's perfect. It's perfect. It's true. Okay. Joyful options. Better call joy. Yep. Dot com. Yes. Okay. Coming soon. Okay. Actually, if I might have to make that.

Is that something? Your merch, your merch line is getting joy back. Perfect. Thank you. You'll be okay. Yes, yes, I will don the shirt, but yes, the bookmark. Yeah. The mug. Whatever might be I love it. All right. Thank you Joy. Thank you. Appreciate it.