Book Club: The Life List by Lori Nelson Spielman

Alex and Julie dive into Lori Nelson Spielman's The Life List, a novel that deeply resonates with themes of self-discovery, healing, friendship, and love. The story follows Brett, a woman who is required to complete a list of life goals she wrote as a teenager in order to inherit her late mother's fortune. Through this emotional journey, Brett reconnects with old friends, learns the truth about her biological father, rediscovers her passion for teaching, and gains clarity about real love and healthy relationships.

They explore pivotal themes such as:

• Grief and Closure: Brett’s journey helps her make peace with her mother’s secrets and complicated past.
• Rebuilding Relationships: Brett heals her bond with her half-sister and an estranged best friend, Carrie.
• Self-Worth and Strength: She confronts betrayal by her boyfriend and so-called best friend, Megan, ultimately taking back her power by reclaiming her possessions and donating them to help others.
• Dreams vs. Reality: She revisits her failed dream of becoming a teacher and redefines it in an unconventional and fulfilling way.
• Lifelong Friendship: Alex and Julie reflect on how meaningful friendships—especially those formed in youth—remain deep and lasting.

They wrap up the episode with personal reflections on their own “life lists,” the evolving nature of dreams, and how meaningful it is to be present for children and grandchildren. They also share excitement for the next book: Too Late by Colleen Hoover and recommend Say You’ll Remember Me by Abby Jiménez as another emotional, character-driven read.

Transcript

Today, in the first entry to the We Share Book Club, Alex and I dive into the bestselling novel The Life List, written by Laurie Nelson Spillman. In the book, Brett Bollinger sets out to complete her old list of childhood goals, spurred on by the memory of her mother, who passed from cancer. Brett goes on to find out that her lifelong dreams lead her down a path she never expected for her future self.

Welcome to the We Share podcast. I'm Julie. I'm Alex. We share ourselves and we provide a platform for others to share. We believe everyone has a purpose and a story to tell. And we're back on the We Share podcast. I'm Julie and I'm Alex, and it's our maiden voyage of our book club, club, summer book clubs and full sizzle.

Here it is. Yes. Yeah. We were just chatting one day about books that we thought we would love to have on the book club, and I mentioned this book and, you were like, I've seen that that book has been made into a movie because it's a book. It was written in 2013 or published in 2013. I should say.

It's her first, bestseller. And it is so good. I happened upon the book accidentally. I had listened to it probably three four months ago, and I remember crying, I remember laughing, I remember reflecting into my own life what was happening in her life. And I like this is the perfect kind of book for the book club. Yeah.

And, well, parallel lines to write for. I mean, there's a lot of things that I want to dive into with you today about this book that I've felt like it was actually the book we were supposed to talk about. And I hope that our we share tribe and family out there, that if you haven't read it, read it.

It's worth reading. If you take time to watch the Netflix movie or the movie on Netflix, it's different. It is different. There's some key plotlines that are different. And I haven't watched the Netflix movie yet, but as I read about the Netflix movie, I felt like I didn't love that it wasn't genuine to how good the book was.

Right? And I didn't like the things that she changed. Even down to like, the names. I'm like, why did you change that name? Right. So it was interesting to me why she would change names. But yeah, I definitely like the book. Let's why don't you, Julie? For those that may be listening, that have it, I have no idea what the life list is about.

Why don't you give that read that. Okay, so this is from Book Key. I had looked at a couple of different ones just to see which one would be the best for us to do. I'll just start here. At its core, the life List explores the theme of personal growth and the importance of pursuing one's dreams. The protagonist, Brett Bullinger, is a young woman who seemingly has it all a successful career, a loving family and a promising future.

I'll add right there, because it's not. I mean, there is no spoiler alert here. Her mother owns a cosmetics company, and she's been working at the cosmetics company. Not in a very challenging position. Hey. Yeah. Marketing. Goodness. Just kidding. That wasn't her. No smear? No. Yeah, it was not her. Her heart was speaking to her, but she was good at it.

Yeah, and she was doing it. And she got to be with her mother, which was so important to her. But, her mother gets cancer, and she she works with her mother through the cancer, but then her mother dies. And when they go to the will reading, that's when the whole life plan changes for her. Because she is told she cannot have any of her inheritance until she completes her life list.

Right. And it's the life list she penned as a teenager. It's not one her mom made up when she was 14. Yeah, so here she is, a 14 year old. She pens a life list. Her mom kept it. Yeah. And with each item on the life list, her mother has written her a letter so that once she completes the item, she will get the letter.

And if she completes all of the items within a year, then she will receive her inheritance, right? And doesn't she get like, some bit of money too? Or little things along the way with the letters I was thinking she got? She never really gets money, but she gets benefits by being who she is in this world, right? Like she lives in her mother's house for a while.

She there's, like, connections to people that help her carry on and do the things that she's, she's doing. But her sister in law. So her brother's wife also works at the cosmetics company. And the sister in law fires her as soon as the wills read hers. But that was because the mother told her she had to. Yes, it was predestined.

You're not supposed to work where you need to go. Do those things. Like from the grave, the mom inspiring her daughter and orchestrating really, essentially the next year of her life. So there's so much to unpack in what, like we could go a million places, I don't know. Yeah. Since we're right there, I want to bring up something because I thought about this.

Family relationships are really hard. And Brett although her natural instinct is to hold a grudge against her siblings, she chooses to not. Oh yeah. She could have been so like bratty and just like went from multi-million you know this huge company stomp your feet cry. And she did not. Yeah. And there were gut reactions at the beginning.

Like she was mad at the beginning, but she stifles that pretty quickly. There's times when her, one brothers kind of an asshole to her. He's not very nice. He he looks at her and says, fine, if you think you need to live in the house, whatever. But I don't think you're being true to the way the will was written, right?

And technically, she was obeying the rules because she was stepping out for that night that she spent volunteering. But why does he care? Like, yeah, for me, I was like, what don't you have that you need? There was a some similarities with me and. Right. It's like things I've shared with you and I'm like, oh, wow. Yeah. I felt like there were similarities between the life experiences that Brett in the novelist's having, that you have had with some of your siblings, and those are hard things to keep a level not emotional response to.

And Brett does a pretty good job of that. She's not perfect at it. No, but she does a pretty good job at it. And the big one for me was him saying, well, you should probably leave the house because that meant she had to go live and not the safest neighborhood. She went and got an apartment, but that was that strong.

Like, I'll do this. I'll show you. Yeah. And I think she had from the time she moved out, you know, she had grown so much from those, things on the way she completed that. She was more comfortable in her own skin. And this new identity, which was really probably just rediscovering who she really was. Yeah. And about that same time, she sold her nice BMW because she knew.

Look at her watch. Yeah. This is my new life. And I don't need a watch. And I don't need this BMW. I need a more sensible car. And so she made a lot of changes to what was really foundational for her. She had lived with money for a long time, and she's in her 30s and now it's not there.

Right. And and then the boyfriend, they break up and then she's thinking, now I have to. You know, one of the things on the list is find the love of her life. She has to fall in love and have a baby and hours and a dog. Like, all in a year. All in a year. I mean, it's been done in Utah and Idaho, guys, I know it, but it's not.

It's, you know, I'm that timeline and not when you're in your mid 30s. Yeah. Especially when you haven't had to be gritty. Yeah. Up until that point. That's a hard time to learn to be gritty. Yeah. And yeah, the author does such a great job. It because I know I found myself cheering on certain characters like, oh, it's happening.

They're it falling in love like I did really think she took me right, right there with their attorney. I'm like, it's gonna be the attorney. He broke up with his girl, but it ends up not being him. Yeah. And then the the Burberry man, just the way they said she called them. The Burberry man is like, who is mysterious and has good taste in trench coats.

Yeah. Like I love him for Burberry is like one of my all time favorite, brand designers and fragrances. I wear her and goddess. I love them both. Yeah. So I like had an affinity for him. Just based on the fact that he was the Burberry man. Yeah, and I could picture him in the connection thing. Yeah. Just,

So happy. And spoiler alert, this is a book club we're going to talk about ending. She does end up with a Burberry. She does. And I thought it was super interesting in the the novel, how the author presents it as we have whatever you want to call it, relationship with God, destiny. However you refer to it, the Burberry man keeps reentering her life.

But we didn't even know he was. We knew he was the Burberry man, but she had talked to him because he was the counselor like that was helping her with her job? Yeah, with her job with the students. And she had in her mind that this was an older gentleman because of his job and and so the Burberry man is someone that she had, crossed paths with felt energy, felt probably a chemistry, or at least the book alluded to.

So she had, physical chemistry with Burberry, man. And then this therapist, man, she had an intellectual kind of mysterious emotional connection to action. So in Those Married, it was like she found the perfect man. She did. Okay. So on the list, let's just go this this direction. What were you give me one of the things that spoke to you the most that she had to complete on the list.

Well first I, I went back to like because I was a list maker. I don't know if you were a list maker, I was not. I wrote a list all the time. And I've actually, had someone ask me, this is probably eight years, maybe even ten years ago. Like, well, what what's next on your list? Like what?

Like. And I've accomplished a lot of things that were on my list. So then your list evolves, right? You add new things like, you know, like, I've had my dream car. It was like, then I got a new dream car, and now I don't know, I don't really care. Yeah. It's like you realize you change the older you get, what, like, really matters.

And so I felt the alignment with Brett, the character, in that respect of her life list, I think the one that was the hardest for me, was her having a baby. Because I remember struggling to get pregnant and having kids initially, and, like, who's to say she can have a baby? And you don't want to have a baby when you're not married or out of wedlock.

You like. I was like, seriously? Sidebar. Elizabeth, what are we doing here? Right. Like with your daughter? And I get you wanting her to have children, to experience the joys of motherhood. Because I want that for everyone. If they want it, too. Because as much, or as difficult as it can be, and it stretches you so much, it is the most rewarding thing is to be a mother.

And it's a different kind of love that I really don't think you can explain or feel from any other thing, because I just do. Well, she gets the letter from her mother about having a baby, even though by the end of the book she doesn't have a baby right? But I almost said she almost did. And she she helped a young woman who had a baby, at age 16.

And she ends up dying. Yeah, the young woman dies. It was a one of her students, and she helps her and her. And the lawyer decides she completed it because of the journey she took. Waseda is the woman's name. And the baby was going to be a brat. She was going to adopt the baby. But, the druggie mom came in from Detroit.

Yeah, or the grandma? The actual mom of the girl that had a teen mom and was going to get money and and whatnot. So this poor baby is going to go back to the system that the teen mom was trying to get her baby out of, like that life. That part was hard to read, for sure. And just also, I mean, I found myself like, well, what if she can't get pregnant?

And then finding one cicada had the baby knowing I knew, like, right when that part entered the story, I'm like. And they said that she could die if she had this baby. I knew that moment that she was going to die and that that I already knew I had chapters to read, but that it played out just like I thought.

The only plot twist is I didn't anticipate the mother, the grandmother from Detroit, coming in to get the baby. So I'm like, oh, she's going to have a baby, and it's adopted. And she did it. She check the box next. Like I was already moving on and that didn't actually account. But I was glad that Brad, the attorney, did make it count.

Yes. And the letter that she read that Brad reads to her from her mother because she always has Brad, the attorney, reads the letters, and the letter that Brad reads from the mother to Brad tells her that motherhood will be the hardest yet, the most rewarding. I don't remember the quote exactly, but that you will be devastated, fulfilled.

Like she lists all of these different emotions that come from being a mother. And that really hit home because you and I now have adult kids. We've gone through all those emotions well, and we've both lost our mothers. So we don't have like. You I mean I don't know, I always forget the details of your mom's death versus I remember your dad's more for some reason it was just more tragic.

Both were tragic but yeah. But like with my mom being like sick and in the end like just knowing it was going to happen, there was a will. Things didn't go as planned with our family separating things either. And but so different. My mom did not leave me a list, thank goodness, because it would have been too much for me at the time.

I don't know where else I'm going with this. It's just that the mother to give her that advice is so, it would be, it would be nice to hear from our mothers right now about raising kids, those words of advice that her mother gave to her. That would be very comforting. Let it would be.

And she did get them for, like, a whole year. She got those spread out messages, that also, let's talk about the complexity of, her dad. Oh, you're estranged father. And then finding out that she has a different father from her brothers. And the brother found out first because he grabbed that book, that journal that she was waiting to read.

And what that would have felt like, I can't even imagine, because it actually assuaged part of her guilt. Because she felt guilty that she didn't have a relationship with her father, that her like. So it validated her, right? Like, oh, he was really struggling with me. He really didn't. It was hard for him to love me because he knew I wasn't his child.

And his mother, I heard Brett's mother had had an affair with a musician. And so Brett, as part of this journey throughout the year has to find who this is. She uses a private investigator. She has to figure out who her real father is. And when she does reconnect with her, her real father, it's not seamless. There were bumps at the beginning, but eventually they they form a wonderful bond as father daughter.

Yes. And she gets to mark that off her amber list. Half sister. Yeah, she gets a half sister. She also experiences some anger at her mom through that. And I think that that was a very natural emotion that the author brought out, because you would kind of be you would want to know, like, why didn't, why didn't, but it was I mean, I'm assuming back then they were just we're not going to, we're going to dust this under the rug.

We're gonna stay married, keep our family intact. And the musician left town, you know, and it was so interesting how it was kind of like, a domino effect. Because once she would complete something on the list, there were items on the list that almost opened up other items on the list, which is what led to her finding out about her dad was reconnecting with Carrie, her high school friend that she had a falling out of.

But initially she thought the relationship with her dad was with the dad that rejected her. Which it until she found out she had a different dad. It didn't really make sense to her, right? And he was dad. So how was she going to fix that? Like it was it was like, I don't list that I can't do because she went to the grave, right?

She went to make peace at the grave. I'm like, this is really weird. But then they discovered that through the book that her mother, the journal that her mother had written, that there was another man. And then when she reconnected with Carrie, which was very sweet by the way, that, that they were able to reconnect as friends, she learned through Carrie's parents that, oh, no, there was this musician and his name was this.

And she started putting two plus two equals four. And that's my dad. And I believe she mentioned his eyes when she saw the picture of him. Yeah. And you've heard stories like that from people, and they have it. They've met long lost family or like Debbie Olson when we had her hair. When you reconnect with members of your family, that maybe you've been estranged or, gone through adoption or fostering, you see them and you, you have that bond or that tether.

That never went away. So that was I think Lori, the author did a really good job of writing in these details. And I was emotional like not bawling or anything because most Hannah was like active either walking the river or. Yeah. Or sitting but I yeah I loved the book. Yeah. I thought it was fantastic.

Yeah. Let's talk about a really light one that she did. Okay. So she had written on her life list as a teenager that she wanted to perform on a big stage. So I was like, I thought, you're going to say kiss the. Oh, good boy. She didn't kiss that. Yeah, she didn't kiss that boy. It was performed on a big stage.

And, did you just ache for her when she bombed on the. She did a comedy routine on a stage. Were you? Just, like. But I thought of it, too. Was like, I would probably try that route, too, versus, like, going to see do a play that you're going to have to do repeatedly at night, like comedy. I would do that.

Check the box off. And she did have friends with her there. Yeah, but the heckler oh my goodness. You just kind of like like your second hand embarrassment for her. But one of the things that was really sweet about her choosing comedy is her mom had told her how funny she was repeatedly throughout her life. And since this list was connected to her mom.

Yeah, she she did the comedy routine. Yeah, it was kill. That was a nice a nice lighter version of you know, because she would do silly things like that on your list. If you were a teenager you would write things like that. What were I know things that were on my list in high school, like, I mean, honestly, Mary return time missionary.

Yeah. Check, check that box. But travel. I love to travel, so I. I always want to travel to Europe. I did get to do that in college. Married the travel. Checked that box. I wanted eight kids. Oh, yeah? Yeah, half a the university I got out free. Yes. Oh, man. I did not know what I did not know.

Right. Well, it it's it's a very interesting, discovery of love in this book. Love on all levels. Loving her for her father. Loving her mother, loving her siblings, but also realizing what you thought was real love, which was who she was dating when her mother died. And then realizing how much more depth she needed in a relationship.

Oh, yeah. If she was going to do that, turn it. But didn't want to like come out and say it and it was, it was nice to see the evolution of Brett get to that on her own. And then oh okay. We have to tell this part because I could just hear the moving vans. It was so awesome where she realized everything in their apartment that they got together.

It was all in his name not her name. She was making the payments. She had the money. He was an attorney. But she had a lot more money. And most of the items in the apartment were hers. Down to the dishes. Everything. With the exception of this one leather chair. And she realizes she's going to just it's fine.

She, she's breaking up with him. She's moving on. She's just wearing got her clothes and a few things and left. Was going to leave him everything else. And he gets home while she's still there. She's there. And so you can just imagine you're like okay hide like I. And she can hear the drunkard tone, you know, practically probably smell the whiskey around the corner on his breath, and she hears a girl with him and immediately recognizes that as her friend Megan, who wasn't in a happy relationship.

My heart sunk because that feeling of betrayal by both. Your boyfriend? Yes. You may have just broken up a week before, but you know, is there. No. You know, some people, it's just like the minute it's over, it's over. Just moving on. People need time. I'm. I'm someone that needs time. But to then have your friend. I mean, I've had friends get together later and I'm happy about it.

It's just it was really fast. But then for her to the next day show up with moving vans when he was at work and take every single thing out of there. And because it was hers and then donate it. Yeah. To the home that she was helping out and not keep it for herself because she didn't have anywhere to put it.

I just loved that it was one of my favorite parts. Yeah. It was a level of strength about her because she was very much like, the Julia Roberts movie. Where. Yeah, she, Julia Roberts changes herself for whomever she is dating. That's what Brett was doing here. She had kind of just changed herself to be with this lawyer guy, and she was using it, like, the relationship was like he she was supposed to be with.

Yes. You should be with an attorney. Yeah, you should be. This is a ways decision. It was checking the box, so to speak, but not the right box. Yeah, it was the wrong emotions. And when she realized that. And then she became so strong and said no, no book in the moving van, taking the furniture and giving it to somebody who deserves it.

And she gave it to a, like a halfway house for teen mothers. Yeah. It's like such a good kid. Where she met Kira. Yeah, it was so. Oh, I just loved that part. And it wasn't predictable because that wasn't her character. But then she's like, when pushed into a corner, all of a sudden, this strong woman came out.

And then I just would love to have been there. Like, again, this is not real. I know. It's like, yeah, but I've written everything. So to have been there when he walked in to see The Empty Place. Yeah, yeah, it would have been so like. And then we learned later in the book that he told Megan that she robbed him and, he was going to, like, he was considering pressing charges and getting his stuff back, and Megan's like, why would you take all his stuff?

And. And Brett's like, it was all my stuff, like. So clearly that girl was not ever really a good friend. She was more of just. Yeah, like a placeholder. No way. Yeah. And I think we have friends like that in our lives. Friends that we have a good time in. Yeah, she would have a good time with Megan.

But those diehard true friends she learned, was Carrie, right? The friend that she wronged in high school and that so quickly forgave her. Flew out on a airplane. Yeah. And just started, like, helping her and brought her into her family and there was just no no hard feelings. And I think we all know when we have real friends who will do anything for you, let you let you have mistakes, let you fail, and then also celebrate when you succeed.

That's who Carrie was. Clearly, Megan was not going to be a person I know you would agree with this, because you just got back from a trip to Nashville with your girlfriend. Some of the best friends you make are in high school. Yeah. And then I would say college, and then we have our careers, and. But I still have dear high school friends and so on that I might not have seen for a long time.

But any time we hop back on the phone or run into each other, it's like an instant connection and yeah, and love for each other. Yeah. We'll go weeks without speaking. This group of girls that I go with, we have an ongoing text thread, obviously, but we'll go weeks without speaking. But when we get together, it doesn't. There is no judgment.

It doesn't matter who has what job. It's not about social status. It's about we love each other endlessly. And to make that point, if I was writing a book, we had one of those moments on my my trip. We happened into these tickets at the Grand Ole Opry, and we got to see a once in a lifetime performance.

It was a tribute night for Johnny Cash. They only did it one time. That was it. It was a group of entertainers that were together that will never perform together again. Closed out by Lainey Wilson. When that show ended, I turned around and looked at my five friends and I touched my one friend, Shirlene, who it was her bachelorette party, and I said, was this really good?

And she was tearing up and she said, this was the best night ever. And we just circled each other and gave each other this big, huge five person hug, group hug, and we all had tears in her eyes because that's what you do with people who are forever stamped on your heart, right? And Megan wasn't going to be somebody that was forever stamped, not stamped on Bret's heart.

And, you know, we know the people that are in the people that aren't. Yeah. So just be grateful for the ones that are. Yeah. When you have those lifelong friends just hold them tight. Yeah. And take care of their hearts. Yeah. Any other of the ones that you want to go through. Like I'm trying to think looking at my list I'm looking here I, so maybe the one that we should talk about because she has some cute little ones, like get a dog, get a horse like those all have cute tie ins to them, but she had always thought she would be a teacher.

Yes. And she had actually failed at it. And her mom knew she needed to revisit that in her life. Yep. And she did it in a very unconventional way. She worked with the social services system, and she would visit kids at their homes. And she was like a homebound. It's called the number one teacher. But at first she had what she got in so much trouble that day at school, at her job, like the kids just knew.

And I know we I think everyone listening and Julie can agree. Probably there's been a class where you had a substitute teacher where someone gave her health or him health. Subs are notorious. Known for getting it. Yeah. The person the class clown whatever. It's going to just be difficult for that sub. It's just a thing right. So it was no shock that that happened to her.

Yeah. And then she got in trouble and basically got to don't got back. Yeah. Like you're this isn't for you and then she's like well I have to be a teacher. It's on my list a roadblock if I'm not a teacher. Then she ended up getting to be a teacher. Yeah. In a very non-conventional way. And I think that's a life lesson.

This is called the life list. But I think it's a life lesson for all of us that dreaming is important. I, in fact, I looked up some of the quotes from the book to remind myself. And one of the quotes in the book is that dream is not a noun, like something that that's a verb, it's a verb.

It's what you do. It's not something that happens. It's not a place like we we sometimes use it. It's an action. It. And, she figured out that her dream, although written on the list like it was a check and something she was going to accomplish, it was actually an action. And that meant that it could change and be molded and altered, and she could find great joy after she had molded it.

Yeah. And what a life lesson for us all. And the gift of she had the gift of being a teacher that her mom could see. And then it like speaking back to that domino effect you spoke of had she not gone to the homebound teaching, she wouldn't have been connected to that therapist or to Siqueira like a is what.

It's so much like life right. We plant that seed and it grows and all these different legs take off and it it's wherever you go. And nourish it and follow that. But I do believe like wholeheartedly what's meant for you will find you. Sometimes it takes the Burberry man. Yeah. Then what you think it's going to be.

But like if you surrender to your divine timing and you know we can will certain things to happen, but if you don't take that step or put yourself out there or try new things, you're never gonna, you know, you gotta open the door. You gotta take such a lesson to learn from the book, because I think all of us could, could say, well, I thought I was going to be this or I thought I would accomplish this, and your life actually turned out different than that, but you ended up accomplishing it just in a different way.

Right? You still got the lessons you needed to, I think. And the ones that you haven't are definitely waiting. So one of the questions I came across for to ask for a book club, I was like and so I'm going to ask you okay what if you were to write a life loss. Now what would your life look like now.

So not like from this point forward. Like you've already accomplished some things, but what were your life list look like? So I have one that's very set that has come to my mind immediately, which is I lived a very busy life when my children were young. I did work, we ran to lots of activities. I was very engaged in my religion, so lots of time spent doing that.

And, I feel like I compromised some of the things I could have done with my kids because of those other things, although good got in the way. And my goal is that as I get more grandchildren, I've got a third one coming in November that I. Yeah, I have lived a life and I'm working very hard at it.

I work three jobs, one of my jobs, all of the money goes into retirement savings. 100% of the income from it goes into retirement savings. And it's significant. And that's on purpose, because I'm not going to do this forever, right? I'm going to hang out with my grandkids and I it's a goal between me, my husband and my kids.

That is what I want to do, and I'm getting much closer to it. And that's part of the list, is that I just want to do it differently than I did it when I had kids, right? Well, and a gift too, is things slow down. We get a little bit older, although we don't look older. I know, I know, but, you can enjoy those grandkids and it can give your adult children the break so that they can still enjoy their relationship with their spouse, you know, get away, have vacations, things like that.

Because honestly, I think that's important in the whole for the healthy dynamic, for the health of their couple relationship. And it's a joy for you. Now, if it was here, here, I'm done with the kids on you for a for a year. That's not fun, right? But to have nuggets of time here and there where you get to give them some free time because it's something I never got and I always, I've been so happy for my friends and jealous, like when they can just leave.

Oh, their grandma, grandma picked them up or like and I'm like, I never had that. Yeah. Never had that. And I want to view that. So I will make I will do I, I'm not set up quite like you are yet, but I will make a point of like you need me that will end up being my vacation.

I'll make it happen. And that will be, well worth it. Yeah. Just because time is the most valuable thing. Absolutely. Well, what would you change on your list? Or like or add or add for my new list, I, I still just, I love to travel, so I, I mean. Fall in love and get married and all those things.

Yes. I still want all that. I want the happy ending. But I want to just keep traveling, like to new places, see new places, new experience experiences, meet new people, hike new mountains. Maybe both figuratively and realistically. I like new mountains. I can do mountains. And I don't know the back of my mind. I'm like, could I still be a professional golfer?

Tennis player? I don't know, I play in the senior league. Oh, yeah. See, I would definitely be senior league. I had a tennis match the other night and I ended up winning. It was hard fought. And then my knee was so also. And yesterday. And I'm like, what am I doing? But in those moments when I'm gritty and I'm hitting these winners or aces and I'm having so much fun, I'm like, my mom saw this in me, but I was just too distracted trying to do everything that the fact that I'm still playing the way I play at 51 and whatever almost have to do.

Like I'm just thankful because it really has been a source of, for me, like an outlet to get rid of frustration, mental. Like I well, there's an attribute that you and I both share. We like being good at things. Yeah. It is. People ask me all the time, why have you done so many different things in your life?

Because I like to get good at stuff. It. It's just part of my personality. And it's okay if you're not built that way. But you and I are built that way, and it, Yeah. I have no judgment to anyone that does it. Yeah. I don't know why I pushed myself so hard. Yeah, it's probably something from a child.

We would probably have way less stress if we weren't these personalities. But that's just how we're built. Yeah. I mean, I already got a text today from my captain asking, would I be willing to play singles again next Monday night? And she knows because she knows I lay it all on the line and the court. But I also said I can't just be the singles there because it's so much harder on your body.

So much. Yeah, way more territory. And I'm, I'm like struggling with my body at the age it's, thinking that I'm still in a high school, you know, state tennis player, like thinking that I can do that and I'm not. So yeah, the reality is I move slower. I'm not as strong. But but the book teaches us that.

Right. Like we were talking about her becoming a teacher. It's a different version of it, right? Like maybe you start playing pickleball instead of tennis, and I have started that. But it's just different. It's very different. I pickleball is fun, is more social. The competitive side still comes out in me, but I just love to hit it hard.

Oh yeah, and that's nice. And I can hit it really hard. And in pickleball you hit it hard and it's the same as if you hit it soft. I mean, I never know, but yeah, well, in the very soft dink is what it's called the dinky. Yeah. Is the way different than tennis? I would say something like, I mean, I know Wimbledon's going on and Albert Hall tennis Segway.

It's such a good life sport. So like this life list. Golf is a great life sport too. But what tennis has taught me more than any other sport I've done is, like patience and letting go of that point, because there's so many points in a game, and then it's a new game and then there's sets. And so it's not over like you could be down five one and still come back and win that set and win the match.

So if you get in your own head then you can ruin it. But if you just figure out what they're doing and figure out the patterns and what's working and then keep repeating that. So it is a mental it's like chess, like running, like so there's so much that goes into it. The people I tend to be are not just because I'm stronger, it's because I outsmarted them.

And that comes from experience, which is just more time on the court, which is also relative to this book, because that's what she did. There were times when she was really down and out. Yeah. And you would think it was over for her. And she figured the long game out and kept kept playing. Yeah. And so true. So I guess just travel and and hopefully have a travel adventure body that can travel with me.

Your Burberry man. My Burberry man. Yeah. Yeah. Anything else you think we need to cover on the book?

I did think it was interesting. Their name choice did that. That her name was Brett. Did you think it was interesting that her name was Brett? Yeah. Well, it was a boy name. It was so important to the book. And it's part of her comedy show was part of our show. It was part of the fact that when she actually the man that she met as the counselor that ends up being her love at the end of the book, he thought she was a man to begin with.

Like it is. It's integrated throughout the book. I also think that it, if you were if you're going to get really deep into the writing, she found that, like that wasn't it related to a novel from. Yes. Yeah. But she embraced it and found that strong energy that came from it. I mean, if she had had a name like Lily, right.

It would like that is so soft and broken and and and easily damaged. Right. And I feel like the name was designed that, you know, she was going to have hard times. But Brett is such a strong name, and she was going to hold true on that character that she was so-called named after from the book. Like, yeah, I think that, yeah.

I mean, that's the beauty of this book is there's little intricate things like that all over in the book. It's not just this basic story. There's all these little nuggets all the way through. Well, I'll just give you another one of the little nuggets. As she's living in her mother's house, she is looking at items in the house, and she's realizing how they shaped her life and the way that they gave her peace and the way that they gave her commitment and the like, all of these things.

That's how detailed the writing is in this book. I love writing like that. The I love the writing to the detail. I mean, it's a good story all on its own, but the writing behind the story is very good, very easy to read and digest and, I mean, it's been a few weeks since I finished it. It's been several months.

Yeah. So I yeah, the fact that I am retaining as much as I am means it did imprint on. Yeah, definitely had some emotional connection to this book. And I'm excited to explore this author and read. Yeah, we're you and I were discussing before we went on today that we were probably going to do a second one from her.

Yes. Yeah. Which I'm excited to because I thought this was an amazing book, very well written off. Our, I think for done with that one, I can't remember. It's the Colleen Hoover. Is it calling one is this is the next one which this is a book I haven't read. And so as I read it, it will be much, have I?

It'll be much fresher in my mind. It's too late, too late. And people love her. As an author, I have not read any of her books, so I'm kind of excited to see if I fall in love with her like other people have seen the movie. I haven't seen any of them. Okay, so good. So I have read the two popular ones of hers, the the prequel and the sequel or whatever, but I'm excited to read to wait.

Another reason I'm excited for this, and for those who are in the same part of life that we are, one of the ways that I still connect with my adult children is I engage in things that they're doing. My daughter's read Colleen Hoover, so this will be a fun way for me to engage with my children. I would give that as a recommendation to people, adult mothers who are like, I don't know how to be in their life anymore.

This is one way to do it, because yeah, you can connect over the story and talk about the story now. Have you asked them if they've already read this? No. So I'm going to if they haven't I'm going to have them read it with me. I also want to bring up another book because I always love it when people share books they love, I, so after I finished the life list, I was I was pleasantly surprised how much, I like taking a break from self-help.

And so then I went back to my library and I was like, hey, why don't I listen to you now? And I started one self-help book that was, you know, on deck, and I'm like five minutes into my like, you know, I'm not feeling I need another. And then I went to turn it through another one and then I'm like, no, I need to go find something.

But I didn't want to download too late because I bought that to read. And I really want to try to just do that one. Like pay for one. Yeah. And, but I found this book and I listened to it and it had some it pulled up my heartstrings a lot like The Life Dead. And so this is an author that I had never heard of before, but it was recommended because of the life list, and it's called, say You'll Remember me, by Abby Jiménez.

Oh, I've read Abby. She's so. She's so good. She is so good. I highly recommend definitely want to read more of her books, but. So if you've read this one, I don't know, but say you'll remember me. It is a story of a daughter and the mother has dementia. The grandma is taking care of him. The other sister has is divorced, has two little boys and they have a gay brother.

And then the dad is like. So they're kind of like living together as a family. But, but, but the main character, before she moves back, I don't know why I'm blanking on her name. Like, I feel like she's my new best friend because I just powered through that, like one week. But, she's she meets a veterinarian because she tries to rescue a kitty.

Did you read this? I read this book. It's so cute. And the dog was like, this hot veterinarian, and you could just feel it. And they do the long distance relationship for, like, a year, and there's just so much romance. And, yeah, it's not every very easy. Everyone is. And Xavier. Yeah. But he is pretty awesome. They get locked in escape room.

But it was really intimate with like what the family was struggling with and they didn't. It was all on display. I mean, like the dad, realizing the mom wasn't there and skipping out on her at night to go hook up with someone, I would say this book was very an evidence of how messy life is. It's a messy, messy life and not by choices that we make.

Know she's she's great at her job. She works for a mustard company. Yeah. Marketing again. So girl and marketing and like, this is interesting. What a theme. And life is just messy. And I guess it and I loved how Doctor Hank that old man the ways that they brought that around and then he, he basically tells Xavier like this is a job.

You can go have a job in California. What are you waiting for. Like she's a giant. Yeah. Go be with her. You you need to make those memories right away. And it just hit me, like, a lot. I'm like, that is so brilliant. That is truly why it's a great read. And so, Abby Jiménez, if you messaged me, but I, I can clearly see there's other books of hers that I want to read now too.

So I'm like, going to have this big summer filled with all the non self-help things. I'm sure all we've run our two self-help, but it's been a nice break. Yeah, yeah, it's a cute book. Totally recommend it. Oh yeah. All right. You guys so excited for joining us. So make sure you're reading that book Too Late by Colleen Hoover.

And we'll do it towards probably like the last week of July. Most likely it will just be the last Wednesday of the month. Yeah. And we are absolutely hoping that, as we do more books, you want to join us in studio? You can be with us here in studio. We can also send you a zoom link.

Yeah. There's lots of ways, lots of ways we can do this. So. Yeah. Give us a message if you like. Just send it to us if you're interested in being part of the book club and it's been awesome. Thank you. Thanks, Julie. Thanks for joining us today on the We Share podcast. If you've loved what you've heard, please give us a five star rating.

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