17: Coach Joel Haasenritter - Oola Accelerator Wisdom

Episode 17

Date Recorded: August 4, 2023

Title: Coach Joel Haasenritter – Oola Accelerator: Wisdom

Description: I'm Joel. I help driven, soul-centered people like you regain confidence, energy and live a vibrant life.

I didn't arrive here easily, though.

After my incredible wife's health took a turn for the worse, I struggled to keep up as a business owner/operator, being a caretaker, and providing for the needs of three incredible children.  

For years, I felt helpless, not knowing how to take the next step. Depression and anxiety were my norm, even though I wouldn't let it show. I knew change had to happen. And time was ticking down.

So, we took a leap of faith in search for greater health and a better way to do life, leaving my thriving business, our support and family, and moved across the country. 

Transitions are hard. But they are necessary for change. And along the way, we found healthier options for life, and a system and a framework for how to balance and grow the areas we all juggle.

As we continue to grow in our purpose, I have made it my life's passion to help others struggling to take that next step. But not just for you . . . for the legacy you leave behind. 

We all leave a legacy. I want yours to be impactful. And that starts with you!

If you are at that point in life where you know you need change, but aren't sure how or what to do, let's work together to make transformation a way of life. For you, and for those you care for.

Let's leave a legacy that matters!

 How to connect with Joel:

Website: www.wayfindersforlife.com 

IG: @joelhaasenritter

FB: @joel.haasenritter

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@wayfindersforlife

LinkedIn: @joel-haasenritter

New episodes of Life Coaches in Cahoots drop every other Wednesday.

Listen and subscribe today.

 https://lifecoachesincahoots.buzzsprout.com/share

Transcript

Stephanie 1:10

Hello and welcome everyone. Today we are going to discuss the last of the Oola Accelerator's wisdom. Last, but certainly not least, and as a reminder, Oola accelerators are those traits and characteristics that will help to propel you into having an Oola life even faster. And today we have Coach Joel Hassen Ritter here with us to talk more about why wisdom is so important. Joel helps driven soul-centered people, regain confidence, energy, and live a vibrant life. He didn't arrive here easily though after his wife's health took a turn for the worst. He struggled to keep up as a business owner and operator, a caretaker and provider for his family. For years, he felt helpless, not knowing how to take the next step. Depression and anxiety were his norm, even though he never let it show. He knew change had to happen soon. So he and his family took a leap of faith in search for greater health and a better way to do life, leaving behind his thriving business and support of family and friends. They moved across the country. I. Transitions are hard, but they're necessary for change. Along the way, Joel and his family found healthier options for life and a system and a framework to help balance and grow in the areas we all juggle as they continue to grow in their purpose. Joel has made it his life's passion to help others struggling to take that next step and show them the way to leaving an impactful legacy. I am coach Stephanie, and I'm here today with Coach Melinda, my co-host, and a coach who wants to help you find your way, coach Joel Hassen Ritter. Hi Melinda. Hello

Melinda 2:39

everyone. You all know by now Stephanie and I are on a mission to showcase some of our fabulous Oola life coaches and share their stories. We are very excited to introduce Joel Ritter to our listeners today as he shares about himself and the Oola Accelerator Wisdom. Welcome, Joel, and thanks for

Stephanie 2:58

joining

Joel 2:59

us today. Thanks for having me. It's an honor to be on your show. Hey Joel. So

Stephanie 3:06

in your intro it said you moved across the country and you are living in Arizona now, right? That's correct.

Joel 3:13

Yep. Hot Arizona. Yeah,

Stephanie 3:14

and I only lived there for three years and it was an eye-opening experience to live there all year round. So you say Arizona and people immediately think desert cactus, dry heat. how about you share with listeners something about Arizona? They may not know if they only vacation there.

Joel 3:32

Yeah, it's great because that was actually my perspective when we decided on Arizona and we were narrowing it down to a few different cities, but we decided on Arizona and I thought I was gonna be in the Sahara like 24 7, just dirt and dust and there is dirt and dust and cactus and all those things. But I really fell in love with the beauty of. The desert landscape and some of the things that it offers, the hiking trails and some of the scenery of nature that it has. I really fell in love with that. But, a couple of fun facts from Arizona. It is the fifth largest city in the us. That's something I had no idea. So we have a large population here spread out over a wide area. But one of the fun facts, actually, Stephanie and I were just talking about this the other day, is that Arizona does not follow daylight savings time. What that means is I really actually never know what time. It's because we jump back and forth from Pacific Time to mountain time and it's extremely confusing. Even companies like Facebook and Eventbrite don't actually know what time it is here in Arizona'cause they're constantly posting the wrong time. So Yeah. And it's super

Stephanie 4:43

important to know your time zone when you're connecting with. People in Oola, especially all over the country, like Melinda, it's Eastern time. I'm now central. So yeah, I was like, Joel, what are you even in, I dunno.

Joel 4:56

I

Stephanie 4:57

was surprised when I lived there about all the rain. So I had no idea that it was gonna rain that much there.

Joel 5:04

And it was, you know. Yeah. It's crazy. It was weird. We, we moved out here July, five years ago and it was one of the biggest monsoon seasons that they had. And one of the reasons why we moved out here was the stability of the climate.'cause that was one of the things that was impacting my wife's health back in Georgia. We moved out here and it was constant rain and these downpours that were coming in hail and moved to Arizona, they said it'll be dry. We're looking at each other going, what? Right.

Stephanie 5:34

Yep. Okay, so you said you enjoy the desert landscape and the hiking and all that. Is there anything else that's a favorite thing about why you chose

Joel 5:42

Arizona? we chose Arizona for health purposes, but one other thing that I fell in love with was honestly the winters. The winters here are divine, and so you kind of suffer through the summers to get to the winters because it is just beautiful all winter long. I would agree.

Melinda 6:04

I spent Christmas there last year and in Pennsylvania where I'm at, we hardly got any snow. But while I was away, it was the coldest, it was the whole winter and it was like 70 in Arizona. So the bio that's Stephanie Read was pretty descriptive and pretty honest. I could almost feel the pain you were in, as Stephanie was reading it. It is so important for people to hear our stories, know that they're not alone. So tell us a little bit more about how you first discovered Oola and the Aha moment, maybe that you knew this was for you.

Joel 6:38

Yeah, absolutely. So it was probably, I. Two and a half years or so after we moved. And, moving alone is a transition, right? And it takes a lot of patience and energy and grace and all the things that go into it. And there's a, a whole story behind that, leap of faith as I put in there, because a week before we moved out here, the job I thought I had nailed, sent me the slip that said we decided to go with someone else. And two weeks before we moved out here, the people that were lined up to buy our home decided, or their financing actually fell through. So we moved out here with a lot of question marks and not a lot of answers. And so that transition of a couple of years was, you know, trying to figure that out. And in some ways we still are. That's the process of life, right. But, it was December, I guess, of 2020. And I was doing kind of a retrospective on my own life and looking back over the wins and the losses and, failures and successes and things I can improve, things I can eliminate, things I can build on. And I had already read the Oola book, the first Oola book, finding Balance in an Unbalanced World, probably six months prior to that. And like a lot of us do, I read it, thought it was great, and set it down. To be put away instead of applying it to my life. And something just kind of tugged on me and, and said, you know, you should read that book again. And so I picked it up again. Of course, you get more out of it the second time than the first time. And I don't know if I just completely had blinders on the first time I read it, but the second time I read it, I realized that in the back of the book, there's actually the system laid out for how to implement it into your life that for some reason I just totally skipped the first time I read it. And so, Looking at that, I thought, you know, this is really good. I've done personal development at, at some level most of my life, and it was the first time that it kind of brought everything together in one place to work on your whole life, not just one area of life. So I downloaded the calendar that they had. I started joining the Facebook groups and listening to the lives that, that the Oola guys do. And it really, really just kind of, It tugged in my heart to go deeper and that was the first time I had looked at it through the lens of how can I use this as a system as opposed to just kind of a book that I read. That was really cool, you know?

Melinda 9:21

At what point did you think you wanted to start

Joel 9:23

coaching? Well, actually I had no desire to, not at all. I actually. Decided to become a coach so I could learn Oola at a deeper level than just a consumer. And they say, if you wanna learn at a deep level, learn how to teach it, because that's where you have to kind of go through all the questions that someone would have as they're walking through it, be able to to implement the system at a deeper level. And so, I decided to do it really for that reason. I loved the system. I loved the message and the whole community that Oola is wrapped in. I really fell in love with and I thought that, if I'm gonna really implement this in my life at a way that's impactful for the rest of my life, I should learn it at the level that I can teach it. So I became a coach and. Really saw Oola from the inside out at that point, if I can put it that way, instead of just the outside in as a consumer. And it was also around the same time that there was this little hashtag going around called one B seven. And so I was going through the coaching course and becoming certified and talking with Danielle who was my advisor coach at that point. You know, Danielle, what is this one B seven thing? What is everybody talking about? I don't know what it is. I'm not certified yet. I realize she made me sign an n d a, which is the other thing that was happening around that point, and, kind of pulled back the curtain on ULAs next. Mission. The first mission was impacting a million lives, and this mission was impacting a billion lives. And so when I saw how incredible the system was for my own life and for those around me, my family and friends and so forth, when I heard that mission, it it got me in all the fields and it's a mission that I can absolutely attach to. So that's when I decided this is too good of something to not share. That's when I decided to become a coach and outwardly build a coaching practice. You wanna share with

Melinda 11:29

us how you came up with the name wayfinders for Life and what exactly

Joel 11:33

you coached? Yeah, absolutely. So, when we were deciding where to move, there was a lot of conversations back in Georgia. are. Older kids had moved out here at that point in time already, so they were in Phoenix. We noticed that when Stephanie would come to visit, she felt better in this climate. And I started researching all the reasons why, and so we narrowed it down. To Phoenix, but right, as we were making that decision, I'm a Christian, I'm a man of faith, and so we were doing a lot of prayer and asking, as somebody who was the, the main caretaker and income provider at that point,'cause Stephanie was not able to work at that time. I really wanted to make sure this was the right thing to do and so I kind of laid it out there so I'm a piano technician by trade and that was my business in Georgia. And I called an old technician friend that I'd known for about 15, 20 years or so at that point, and, asked him for some advice. I knew he was looking for different things to do as well, and he happened to be passing through the Atlanta airport on his way to go visit his mom. I don't know, two or three weeks after that conversation. So, He got off of the plane. I met him at the airport, at a restaurant. During his delay for his next flight, he got off the plane. Literally, I haven't told this story much. not on record. Anyway, so he got off the plane and he said, Hey, how are you? I said, great, how are you? He said, before we get started, I have a message for you. And I'm like, you just got off a plane. Who, what message are you talking? Who? Who from? And he said, from God. And I was like, I'm gonna sit down for this, you know. So, he talked about the scripture in the Old Testament where the children of Israel were mumbling and complaining and doing all these things because there was nothing to eat or drink. And they went to a brook, and the brook was too bitter to drink. There was a tree there and they, they dipped part of the tree in the, in the water, and it turned the water sweet and they were able to drink. The message was, and this was a confirmation because there were other things that were leading up to this. The message was before you decided to make this transition, whatever it was,'cause I hadn't fully shared it with him, whatever it is. Before you decided to do that and before they decided or they were gonna be at that brook, God made sure that there was a seed that was planted years prior so that when they got there, a tree would be by that brook to have that miracle happen when you are going forward, he's already making a way, and so that's where Wayfinders came from. That's the story behind that, and so my desire to be a finder of the way. For life is how that title, where that title came from. I don't think I've ever shared that.

Melinda 14:44

That's beautiful.

Stephanie 14:45

I think that's gotta be one of the best stories that I've heard for the name of a coaching practice. That was really good.

Joel 14:52

So to the second part of your question, what is our focus? Our focus is triumph through transitions. Like this whole, lemme get teary here. Sorry. This whole process has been a transition of life and of reinvention and of grounding in who we are as, as humans and who we are to each other, and our relationship with my wife and our kids, and our faith, and all of these things. And it has been one massive grouping of a million different transitions. And so, From someone who's had to walk that path. I understand what it takes to move through that and the trials and the failures and the successes. And so that's my focus in coaching is triumph through transitions. Okay. And so

Stephanie 15:50

when we're coaching all that, the Oola accelerators definitely help our clients to get to that. Transition and that Oola life even faster. And we're talking today about wisdom. It's our last Oola accelerator. And so I am just gonna ask you, Joel, what does the word wisdom mean to you?

Joel 16:10

Yeah, wisdom. I don't know that it's the most important. If you had to rate them. They're all incredible, right? They all stand on their own, but it's certainly one of the most important. Accelerators and philosophies in general to apply to your life. wisdom. It's less about what you know and more about how you see it and choose to apply it. There was an Indian proverb, a Native American proverb said, seek wisdom, not knowledge. Knowledge is the past, wisdom is the future. A lot of people think wisdom is observation. It's learning through observation. And I really wanna go a little bit deeper than that because it's not just understanding through observation. the ability to have wisdom really comes down to humility, which is another accelerator.'cause you have to be humble enough to learn. You have to have that ability. To do that and be humble enough to accept learning from anyone in anywhere, in any situation, even from those who might not know as much as you. And that takes a lot of humility. You know, if someone comes up to you and says, Hey, guess what? I learned this and this and this, and you're like, yeah, I've been living that my whole life. Well, that's, that's not under, that's not gaining wisdom. Like there's always something to learn from anyone, anywhere, in any situation. But it also takes a level of curiosity. Because if you don't care enough to learn and to apply and to understand and to be humble enough, you really won't gain wisdom. But curiosity is a key piece, and I think that vulnerability is also a huge part of wisdom because you really have to accept the mantra of. Having the ability to be wrong, if you don't come from that perspective, you won't be curious enough to learn. You certainly won't be humble enough to learn, and if you don't have the vulnerability that says, I think this is correct, let me learn from others, from the environment, from all the things around us to be able to see if I'm right or see if I'm wrong. It really won't matter. And then also having the ability to course correct, because I think sometimes we think that, I know this, I know X and I'm going to apply it, but wisdom says, you know what? Your application is in the wrong direction. So I think wisdom goes deeper than just the observation of history, if that makes sense. That was

Stephanie 19:11

a very in-depth answer to my question. It was good. I have not put that many layers into the word wisdom, and I even made that my word of the year last year. you can gain wisdom from your own personal experiences or the experiences of others. Tell us a time when you've gained wisdom from your own personal experience, and that could be a good or bad

Joel 19:35

experience. Yeah, so I never finished college and For a long time. From my perspective, that was a bad thing. Like it was just a goal. I'm gonna go back and finish college. The reality is when I went to college, I changed my major probably five times in one year, and at the end of that year, year and a half, I had$18 in my bank account. And so, That's not gonna work. And I said, okay, I need to go back to work. That's, that was the start of my, career which has been an amazing career by the way. and I've enjoyed every bit of it. But the society says typically you have two choices. You can do college or you can do nothing. And I think there's a fallacy in, The way that modern society sees that, and we see that all the time. People go to college, then they drop out. Maybe they get a little part-time job or a full-time job. They start making more money than they probably ever have been, regardless of what it is. And so they say, Hey, I'm doing okay. I don't have to apply myself to deeper learning. And I think that's the fallacy., the lesson of wisdom, I feel is never, never stop learning. It doesn't matter if it's college, it doesn't matter if it's a technical school. It doesn't matter if it's reading books or podcasts or going out into the woods and observing nature. It doesn't matter what it is. You have to adopt. the mantra that you never stop learning, because here's what happens. The whole point of going to college is for knowledge. It's for learning and for making yourself more valuable. That making yourself more valuable has nothing to do with college. That's one track. That's one way, and it's a beautiful way, by the way, but really it comes down to if you can learn. To recognize patterns. If you can learn to be creative and use those two things to solve problems, you can be valuable no matter where you are or what situation you're in. And so how do you get there? You get there by continuing to learn, learn and observe, and course correct. And be wrong and try and fail and observe why it failed and do it again differently the next time. So the lesson from my experience with that is that the typical societal answer of go to college, get your degree, it was not my path. And if it's someone else's path, I love that. My mom finished her master's degree at 45 years old when went to be a teacher. I love that. and if I had to do it all over again, I would've gone to college, by the way, but I didn't. And so my path took me in this direction. And so how do you continue in a way that's productive? Never, ever stop learning. That was the lesson from that.

Melinda 22:42

I agree with that. If we ask you, who is the wisest person? You know, and why do you believe that What is your answer gonna be?

Joel 22:53

Well, I don't know this person, so I have no idea who they are or how they are as a human, and I have not researched that. But one of the things that I love is Thomas Edison's track of his ability to see failure as a learning experience, which again goes back to a core principle of wisdom. when he was trying to invent the light bulb, The story goes, there's a reporter that asked him, you've failed a thousand times at inventing the light bulb. And he said, no, I haven't failed a thousand times. I've found a thousand ways that it won't work. And so it's a total reframe of failure, and I love that because a lot of times in my coaching, I actually remove the word failure and I insert the word results. it's just a result. it doesn't actually define who you are as a person. It doesn't define who you are at your core. It doesn't define how you love or how you show up to others. It's just a result. He did something a thousand times and didn't get the result that he wanted, so he did it again. And he did. And I love his reframe perspective in how to look at. Failure and how to move through that experience to make it a learning experience and to provide a different result. That was something that we all enjoy.

Melinda 24:22

We can all benefit from having and being a mentor. Do you have any other mentors who impart their wisdom and if so,

Stephanie 24:29

in what capacity?

Joel 24:32

I have several mentors. In different areas of my life. So back in Georgia when I had my, piano service business, I wound up connecting with a gentleman by the name of Harry Cardwell, who became my mentor in that industry. He was one of the top technicians in the country. He's retired now, but at the time, he was well regarded with all of the manufacturers, and so much of my learning and understanding came through him. For that industry and also for life. He was a mentor of mine for life and several things I was going through at that time. Another one that's really impacted me is my father. And this is really interesting because growing up we didn't have a lot of one-on-one time. But he was a hotel renovator, so the company he worked for would do hotel renovations and he was kind of running the southeast and occasionally I'd go on a job with him and I was the snot-nosed kid that was, coming along for the ride type thing. But what I saw was a man of compassion and standards. That's an interesting dichotomy sometimes where it can be. But it was the first time that I really understood the value of human connection because people would come to him and look to him for how to do things, how this project should go, but really they were coming to him for human connection and at one point in time for several years, people would call and ask for Bob his name. The last name of the owner of the company because they actually thought he owned the company. Not'cause he ever put himself out there like that, but because people were so connected to him, it was just an assumption. This has to be your company. No one would be this invested in the results, not just of the projects, but of the people. It's obviously your company. So they would call up and say, can I speak to Bob Frazee? And well, this is Bob Hassen Ritter. Well, I need to speak to Bob Frazee. I know who you are. this is the Bob you're speaking of. But it was the first time, honestly that I understood the value of human connection.

Melinda 26:48

a lot of times when you're reading about spirituality, the end answer is to be happy just in life in general. And the way to get there is through compassion and kindness in your world and sharing it. And yeah, the connection is huge.

Joel 27:03

I agree. Love that.

Stephanie 27:04

Melinda was talking about how she likes to gain a lot of wisdom through books earlier, and books are an excellent way to get more knowledge and wisdom. So I was just curious if you've been reading any good books about that and if you would like to share any of those titles.

Joel 27:19

Yeah, absolutely. the Oola books for sure. I think there's a lot of wisdom in there through the lens of people's perspective. Their life experience and their perspective. And I love how they've put that in the first doula book about their lives. And then Oola for Women and Oola for Christians. I think those are powerful books. the Greatest Salesman in the World by OG Menino, I think is a really good book. it's kind of done in this caricature format, right? but through the book there is such wisdom that's interwoven of really just. Good life lessons, like just, how to be a better human life lessons. And, I love that one. a more, tactile philosophical book would be A Man's Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl. That's a very psychological approach to the understanding of how and why humans do things. he was in the concentration camps and, came out of that, with a totally different perspective on life, which is difficult to do when anyone's put under that amount of duress. the book that I was reading the first time I read the first doula book, when I laid it down. Was Resilience by Eric Greitens. That is a book, it's a grouping of letters from the head of, I believe it was Navy Seals, but the leader of that group to one of his comrades who after they got out of the military, found himself suicidal. And so these are his letters going back to forth, back and forth in book form. How he helped to walk him out of that place and into a place of resilience. it's a fantastic book. it's military, so it's a little bit dry. There's some language, you know, expect that going into it. but it's a great book. And then, the more recent one that I've read, which I absolutely fell in love with, is The Power of One More by Ed Millet. That is, a really impactful book that, um, It talks about his experience with his alcoholic father as a child growing up and how, how he invoked the power of one more, and his story through that. I'll let you read it, but his story through that, when his father kind of hit rock bottom and said, okay, I'm done with alcohol. I'm gonna turn my life around, which he had said a million times before that, and Ed as a kid said, dad, do you really think you can do that? He said, I don't know Ed, but I can do it for one more day. And so the whole book is about that philosophy of one more day, one more step. Take one more chance. Do one more pushup. You know, what can our lives be if we, if we just, if one more. I think it's a, it's a powerful book.

Stephanie 30:18

I think you just

Melinda 30:18

added to my titles for reading. I'm sure my brother gonna, the military listens to all of these as well.

Joel 30:29

That's.

Melinda 30:30

So the Bible describes King Solomon as the wisest man in the world, yet he can also be described as foolish. Why? Because God had gifted him with unsurpassed wisdom and he squandered it by disobeying God's commandments. What are your thoughts on being wise, but yet not so wise? You're

Joel 30:50

even foolish. I actually struggled with this one. For a couple of years I struggled with this one because the wisest man on earth and wisdom wasn't enough. And so ever since I was a teenager, I actually have searched and tried to seek wisdom in my own life, spiritually and just in life in general. And so I struggled with that because. How can it be that someone that was so wise fell so hard? And it really comes down to, common knowledge isn't always common practice. we have experiences through our life that we know what's gonna happen if we do something, and yet, We choose in that moment that it's not worth doing the thing that we know is gonna lead to a better result. That is, that is the struggle of humanity in my opinion. You know, it's, do I get off the couch and stop binging Netflix or do I go walk around the block? We know the right answer to that. And not that there's anything wrong with Netflix. There's a time to veg your brain and I'm totally fine with that, but there is a time and a place for it. Sometimes when you're having that struggle of do I or do I not? sometimes the struggle should be the trigger that says, why am I struggling with this? It's'cause I know better. I should probably do better. But that is the struggle of humanity. I think, wisdom is really the precursor to intentional action. It's not always the action. So he was wise beyond his years and beyond humanity at that point, but it's only the precursor to intentional action. So he chose to take action that was outside of the wisdom that he understood. That's a great answer.

Melinda 32:55

I agree with that. I struggled with that too, and I think. For me, I put it in perspective and I say it's when the ego gets in the way. It's when you're led further away from God and that ego takes over and yeah, then I tend to not be so wise.

Joel 33:11

That is absolutely true. That's the other struggle of humanity is ego. Right? Yeah. Yeah.

Melinda 33:16

All right. We are asking all of our coaches on our show some questions similar to the Pist questionnaire, which has its origins in a parlor game, popularized by Marcel Proust, a French essayist, a novelist who believed that in answering those 35 questions, an individual reveals his or her true nature. we're not gonna ask you 35 questions, we're gonna ask five. So the first one is, tell us something in your life that has grown out of a personal disaster.

Joel 33:49

Identity is the answer to that question. I wouldn't qualify it as as disaster, but certainly the move from Georgia to Arizona, which was a whole process, and again, we're still walking through much of that transition five years later. Five years later, last month in fact. But identity, and it's something that. When we moved out here, trying to reinvent myself in a lot of different ways, which I started before we moved out to Arizona, just getting certifications and so forth in different industries and in industries outside of my trade. that was the question, really, who am I and how am I gonna show up for who I am? And it was in Finding Oola, honestly, and in finding that purpose and the passion to share a message of hope with others, that I found what I would consider my true identity, my lifelong identity. And we go through seasons. In all different times of our life, right? And they show up in different times and different waves and different intensities And, sometimes we have that overarching vision for our life. And sometimes when I'm talking with my coaching clients, it really comes down to who do you need to be in this season? you may have a grand vision to do all these things, and that's fantastic and you should, and let's work on that. Let's grow that. But you get that call from your friend that's in the hospital saying, I'm gonna be here for three weeks and I need you. All of a sudden, your identity, if I can put it that way, your purpose changes in that moment and for that season. So don't ever lose track of what your life's purpose is, but also don't be afraid to be in the moment and have a purpose for that season. So both of those, I've had to live as we've gone through this transition and finding that over, the big purpose for my life, but also realizing that in this moment I need to be this for this person. And that's going back to that identity piece.

Stephanie 36:04

When and where were you the happiest you've ever been?

Joel 36:09

This was a tough question. It's a really tough question. partly because, and this is just my own personal, philosophy, but happy is fleeting a little bit. I. Joy is what? And we're dealing with semantics, right? I can be happy'cause you know, I found a fantastic meal at a restaurant, but where was I the happiest? That goes back to kind of a deeper level of joy and fulfillment, if I can put it that way. So I kind of put it that, you know, happiest, fleeting joy is lasting, impact is generational. And so where I was the most joy filled is when I could see that I had the most impact on someone that actually would change the course of their life or the perspective they had in their life. that's one of the most meaningful things that, I've ever done.

Stephanie 37:10

You are definitely giving the most interesting answers to these questions. I love it. what relationship defines love for you? And this can be real

Joel 37:19

or fictional? Love is is very real for me. I think it starts with that integrity of self. Because, they always say you can't love someone to your fullest unless you love yourself. And I believe that to be true. but also it's that integrity with yourself because I think there's a difference between love and acceptance. I can love myself and be in integrity with myself, but also not accept the things that I have to work on. And I think Contemporary society says if you love yourself, you should accept yourself with no challenge to become better. And if you're not growing in some area of your life, life is gonna pass you up, I believe. And so, You have to be growing in something. If you're not growing in something, you're dying in other areas, right? So I think it starts with that integrity of yourself and really asking yourself, who are you at your core? And does that align with why you're here on this earth and what your purpose is in your relationship with others? And that impact, on a more tangible level, it's my family. I have a deep love for my family and, as we talked about already, just having an impact on people's lives.

Melinda 38:41

What person, place, or experience has shaped you the most

Joel 38:46

by far having to move, without a doubt, but. End of discussion. No. it has shaped our life. And I say our, because it's not just mine. It's shaped our relationship. The relationship that my wife and I have has changed since moving out here. And we had our struggles and we went through, some pretty tough times in our marriage. And when you have to go through something tough, I. And you are willing to do it together. That changes who you are to each other. It also changes how you choose to show up for each other. And along this journey, as I've said already, finding that purpose. there's nothing else that can ever shape our experience, but finding a passion for why we're here on this planet. So by far, Having to move, deciding to move, taking that risk and stumbling along the way has absolutely shaped me the most. Do you too

Melinda 39:52

now say the move was the right thing for you guys?

Joel 39:55

A thousand percent. It was not only the right thing to do, it was the necessary thing to do. And the question that we asked ourself,'cause it was 10 years of her health declining, and she went from. High, type a personality. Go, go, go. She worked for several high profile attorneys in Atlanta. She was in the medical field working for the chief pediatric cardiologist at Emory Hospital. And so, lazy is not really how anyone's ever described my wife. So going from that, 10 years later to her really being bedridden for the two to three years before we moved was really hard. it's hard on her. And so, the question that we asked was, if the last 10 years is a prediction of what the next 10 years is going to be. That's not an option. So again, it goes back down to what Troy calls that healthy level discussed, that place where we find ourselves at different times in our life and says, I'm not okay with where I'm at. I do accept where I'm at. This is where I'm at, but I'm not okay that I'm gonna stay here. And so we decided to move on and that is absolutely changed everything. she's probably. 50% better than what she was. She has been able to work again for the first time in eight, nine years. having family dinners, going to church, being able to cook again, like it has absolutely changed our life for the better. It was what we needed to do. It was when we needed to do it, and in spite of struggles and all the stuff that we're still working through, I wouldn't change it at all. I'm so glad to hear that.

Melinda 41:53

Well, this is the last of the Prost questions. What advice would you give to your younger self?

Joel 42:02

save more can never go wrong with that. Save more sooner. Invest sooner. Those are the tactile things. The philosophical part that I don't think I fully understood, and I would probably sit myself down and say that life is shorter than you think. You get one shot, make it count.

Stephanie 42:39

We're gonna take it to a different direction now. We are also asking all the coaches on our show if they have taken an Enneagram test. And for anyone out there unfamiliar, the Enneagram is a system of personality typing that describes patterns and how people interpret the world and manage their emotions. And I know you took the Enneagram test for our show. Was this your first time or had you taken it before?

Joel 43:00

No, first time it's always something I've wanted to do. I just haven't, for whatever reason. And so, yeah, I was delighted when you sent me that test. Like, oh, yay, I can actually do this now.

Stephanie 43:09

It was mine too. We were guessing what our numbers were and we were both way wrong. So what was your results

Joel 43:16

number two 85% match on number two. So two is the

Stephanie 43:19

helper and that's, I ended up being, which like blew me away. But after I dug into it, I was like, oh, okay, that makes sense. Okay. So do you wanna share, what a two is or would you like me to talk more about

Joel 43:32

it? I prefer YouTube because I'm still kind of grasping my understanding around it. So,

Stephanie 43:37

okay, so I dug a little deeper since I've talked about a two just recently. So, hopefully this is a little bit more new information. Twos are warm and I affectionate people with a lot of energy, which they invest into the people they love. For twos, everything is relational. They view the world through the needs and desires of other people having super fine antennas to pick up other people's needs and what they can do to meet them. It's not hard for twos to be popular with many people because they make them feel cared for at accepted. What most people don't know is that the twos in their lives are often giving much more than they should be while pretending to be akay. Twos take pride in being there for others, but they have a hard time acknowledging that someone needs to be there for them too. We don't normally go into any negative stuff. we're trying to keep it a little more positive. But I thought that was a nice balance.

Joel 44:32

So what did you think? It's, it's a thousand percent true. Yeah, it's a thousand percent true. self-care was a four letter word for me until recently. Like I just didn't do it. And what I told myself is, I can't prioritize myself'cause too many other people need too much. And so I can put myself on hold and go fill that void. The problem is I'd never took myself off hold. And that became a lifestyle and a mentality that really is not healthy. that's another thing that I really turned around in my mentality and way of thinking after moving out here and, hiking more and getting outta nature more, which is something I really, really enjoy. Connecting with myself through that and really allowing myself to just kind of let go and be was not something I was good at at all. So, yeah, your description there is pretty good. Yeah,

Stephanie 45:33

I related to that as well.

Melinda 45:38

I will say there was something about coming to Arizona, the last trip I was there, we went to Sedona. I just could feel it there like everything about it. Yeah. It's

Joel 45:50

beautiful there. Yeah. I

Melinda 45:51

could have sat and meditated on a rock and just been happy and it's not for me. There's like a space between unhappy and happy and it's peace and it was there and I was like, it was, oh, I love that. Yeah. So, How about one of our favorite questions to ask our coaches on the show, and we're always curious to hear what everyone says. What quote or motto do you value and live by?

Joel 46:17

I try to live by it. I succeed sometimes and I fail sometimes, but this is one that's always on the forefront of my mind, and that is a quote by Mark Twain. The two most important days of your life or the day you're born and the day you find out why. And so I would challenge anyone listening to this. If you haven't, found out why seek that? Because there is a reason you're here at this time in human history, not 1800 years ago, not a thousand years. In the future, you're here for a purpose. And at this time in human history, go find out. Why. Do I know my why? yes. I haven't really shared this much either. It goes back to really the whole conversation. I want to create a legacy of legacy builders. In other words, that my time here, Has been spent by being impactful enough to those around me that they choose to change their life and impact others. It's not enough for me that they change their life. It has to go a layer deeper. And so I believe I'm here to create a legacy of legacy builders. That's a great

Melinda 47:32

answer.

Stephanie 47:33

Well, I think that was a great answer too. I think I got a little bit out of your bio that that was what your why is the legacy building, and so is there anything else that we didn't ask you that you wanted

Joel 47:46

to add? Not really like we covered a ton. I think I would just really challenge anyone that's listening to this just go all in on you. I think we play small sometimes. I have certainly been guilty of that more times in my life than I care to admit. but you'll never regret going all in on you. And, I love that other quote. I don't even know who said it, but if you think the price for and insert whatever you want there for greatness, for success, for freedom, for whatever it is. If you think the price for that is too great, wait till you get the bill for regret. Life's too short. Just go all in. You'll never regret going all in to who you're supposed to be. That's

Stephanie 48:42

really good wisdom there and this has been fantastic and we can't thank you enough for joining us today, Joel.

Joel 48:51

this has been my pleasure. Thank you.

Stephanie 48:54

And before we part ways, we want to let you know that our next episode will showcase coach Dar Pendergrass and the first Oola blocker of fear. We want to remind you that we are all designed for greatness and purpose. Stressless. Feel better and enjoy life a little more. And thanks again for being with us today, Joel, and

Joel 49:12

goodbye everyone. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me.