19: Coach Debbie Longoria - Oola Blocker Guilt

Episode 19

Date Recorded: August 11, 2023

Title: Coach Debbie Longoria – Oola Blocker: Guilt

Description: Debbie has had many accidental careers during her lifetime, but it wasn’t until she became an Oola Life Coach that she found her essential purpose. She is passionate about helping those who are in the sunset season of their lives discover that it’s not too late to start living differently. She also serves those who are feeling lost, alone, and hopeless by being a source of comfort and connecting with them through community. Above all, Debbie has a heart for mentoring the younger generation and sharing the important message with them not to settle for a life based on the expectations of others. She wants her life to be their lesson: Don’t wait until you’re 60 to start living intentionally! Through Oola, Debbie discovered that she is the ticket to her own life adventures, that it is up to her to be the change in her own life, and she is honored to help others do the same.

How to connect with Debbie:

Website: https://myoolalifeadventures.com

Email: debbie@myoolalifeadventures.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/debbie.longoria.5

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamtheticket_oola

LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/debbielongoria

New episodes of Life Coaches in Cahoots drop every other Wednesday.

Listen and subscribe today.

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Transcript

Stephanie 1:14

Hello and welcome everyone. Today we are going to discuss the second Oola blocker guilt. As a reminder, Oola blockers are those things that hold you back from living your Oola life. And today we have coach Debbie Longoria here with us to talk more about why it is so important that we let go of guilt. Debbie has had many accidental careers during her lifetime, but it wasn't until she became an Oola life coach that she found her essential purpose. She's passionate about helping those who are in the sunset season of their lives discover that it's not too late to start living differently. She also serves those who are feeling lost, alone and hopeless by being a source of comfort and connecting with them through community. Above all, Debbie has a heart for mentoring the younger generation and sharing the important message with them not to settle for a life based on the expectations of others. She wants her life to be their lesson. Don't wait until you're 60 to start living intentionally. Through Oola, Debbie discovered that she is the ticket to her own life adventures, that it is up to her to be the change in her own life, and she's honored to help others do the same. I am coach Stephanie, and I'm here today with Coach Melinda, my co-host, and a coach who is not letting the sun set on her season coach Debbie Longoria. Hi Melinda.

Melinda 2:24

Hello everyone. As many of you know, Stephanie and I are on a mission to showcase some of our fabulous Oola life coaches and share their stories, and we are super excited to introduce Debbie Longoria to our listeners today as she shares about herself and the Oola blocker guilt. Welcome Debbie, and thanks for joining us

Debbie 2:44

today. Hello. Thank you for asking me. Hey, Debbie. So

Stephanie 2:49

guilt is a pretty heavy topic and so I just wanted to start out with maybe a lighter question. maybe share with our listeners some of your favorite things to do when you're not mentoring or

Debbie 2:59

coaching. Ah, well, when I'm not mentoring or coaching, I think one of my favorite things to do, Just hang out with my grandkids. It really is. because we all know we're parents or grandparents. That's just a blip in our life and as long as they wanna hang out with grandma and we go do, I mean, we have lunches, we hang out, we have game night together and I am so grateful. They live so close. Most of my grandkids live right here in the same town that I live in. So, I am so grateful and I would say, That's my most fun stuff that I do is with them because they just, they just bring so much light to my life. Yeah. I was on a

Stephanie 3:37

call with you the other day and I got to meet your grandson. so we know you were just in Salt Lake City for the Oola Convention in June and that you're planning on attending Oola Pza in Nashville. We just talked about that. before this call, do you have any other fun trips planned

Debbie 3:52

this year? I always try to make a few trips down to Kansas. My mom lives in Kansas, so going down there, that's home. and so going down there and hanging out with family and people that you've known a good chunk of your life. But I do have a great trip coming up here pretty soon to San Diego with A group of leaders in Oola it was a trip that we earned. I'm really, really excited about that. I've never been to San Diego. Um, and generally my husband and I like to plan one trip. That's just us. We were just talking about that. That's just us. That's where we go and We relax and we truly are not agenda people. The only agenda is the flight to get there. Once we get there, we just wing it and that's truly how I relax, So we'll plan a trip. I think our trip other than the one in September. We'll be another trip next year for our 25th anniversary to Vegas, and that's where we got married. So we'll go back and have a very elaborate, spoiled trip again to celebrate that 25 year anniversary. Well, congratulations on that. Yeah, yeah. Thanks.

Melinda 4:55

And we are always curious to know how our guests first discovered Oola. You wanna tell us your Oola

Debbie 5:01

background? Oh, yes. And I think it's, I'm not alone in this social media. I saw them pop up and I thought, who are these guys? Because I just happened to catch up. Facebook Live or something. the word was actually what attracted me though. You know, I saw Oola, I thought, I think most people say, what is Zula? So I started following the guys on social media, but the first Facebook Live, I saw that they were both together was hilarious and engaging. And I think the funniest part is when, I started realizing they're not really that much older than my son. So it kind of cracks me up. I'm like, look at these two guys and they're such great friends and they're doing this wonderful thing and then. It just kind of started growing organically in my life. It was fun to watch them. it was really fun to watch'em, and for some reason, they really, resonated with me and so I continued to grow. But it was social media. Yeah, Facebook specifically. They were

Melinda 5:55

definitely a source of entertainment for me while I was making dinner for quite some time. Yes. How about, was there an aha moment or anything that resonated that you knew this was gonna be your lifestyle, that you needed to follow the path?

Debbie 6:12

Well, back in the day This was 2017 when I started following them and I I got the book. I didn't really read the book or anything, but the aha moment came when they had just started a tea company. they were doing this Oola T detox, and so I did it. I did it for 14 days, dropped 10 pounds, which was great, which we all know is not that and stuff, but I mean, we won't go into all the technicalities of everything, but I remember sending an email to Dave and telling him it. It was so impactful to me because it was the first time in here. I was still 60 that year before I turned 61, and I thought, wow, if they keep saying if you set a goal and you take action steps that these things will be met. But this was the first time I'd really said, I'm doing something. I followed through every single day on every single thing I needed to do and it worked, and I went, oh wow, this. This works. That was truly an aha moment on so many levels. And then it started the snowball effect to, where I got to now. So I was, yeah, that would be my huge aha moment. Very good. Let's

Melinda 7:22

talk a little bit about your mentoring and coaching. And I know that you have an Instagram handle that is, I am the ticket. Oola. Do you wanna tell us a little bit about those things?

Debbie 7:35

That. Yes. Yes. And that's part of that same email that I sent to Dave. I have to share a little bit about this email because I sent it to Dave'cause he wanted people who were getting results and he wanted information. And I sent some very personal information, which Dave volunteered to the world on a Facebook Live on a transformation Tuesday. Unbeknownst to me, I didn't know he was gonna read this. And so In that email, I talked about the struggles I was going through, you know, with my spouse, I was feeling alone. I didn't know who I was and I've lost my passion and my purpose. I just looked in the mirror. I didn't know who I was. And going through that process, my aha process, my 14 day detox, aha process, I call it, I kept thinking, if I meet the guys, if I just meet them in person, That would be the ticket all I have to do is meet the guys. But through the process, I realized that I'm the ticket. I'm the ticket to my rule of life. They're not the ticket. They were my inspiration. They were the god wink. I call'em a God wink. They were, whatever you wanna call'em, They hooked me into this world of understanding that I am here. For more than I'm giving myself credit for. So I am the ticket to my will of life. And I love sharing that because people are waiting, they're waiting for somebody to give'em that magic thing or hand them something and say, here it is. This is like the golden ticket and, Willy Wonka. But you don't have to wait for anybody to hold it or hand it to you. You have every single thing you need inside of it. You just need to recognize it and say, it's me. It's me and I'm proud of me and I love me and I'm gonna keep working on me because I am the reason that I'm moving forward. And so I am the ticket. As soon as I got, I knew that that was gonna be my Instagram thing. I said, I am the ticket.'cause people ask me, why? Why? And that's why, because we all need to understand that we are destined for great things and all we have to do is do the work. I know you

Melinda 9:43

like to mentor and you lead and you're big in the community, but do you have an a niche down for your coaching? There's this specific group that you work with

Debbie 9:52

mostly. We've been going back and forth with this, and Stephanie and I talked about this, and, Becca, our chief growth Officer and I have talked about this and I went back and watched an older interview that Dave had done with me where I said, I don't want a niche. But the reality is, as we start talking more and more and more, the thing that Stephanie said in the introduction is, I don't want anyone to wait. Now, that's not a specific niche. But at the same time, that is where I was when I found Oola. And I have since met so many people at different events and stuff and go, why would you start life coaching in your sixties? And my answer to them is,'cause I'm not done yet. I'm starting my next great chapter of my life. and so I'm changing the sunset season to my next great chapter. It's not the end. it's not the end. And based on statistics, I probably still have another 20 years. So I have to make sure that I'm valuing and respecting those years by, um, helping people, you know,'cause we're all trained in my generation, we're all trained. You work, you retire at 65, and then you live your life, right? So what are you living? They end their career or this 40 year blur that they've been doing for their life. You know, they've done all the right things. They got married, they had kids, they had a great job, they have an awesome house, white picket fence, vacations. But then they end up being my age and going, was that it? And it's not, it just start thinking differently. My oldest client was 70. She, I not was as in, she's passed, but was because at that time she was 70 getting ready to leave her dream job, and through this Oola process, discovered this talents that she's gonna embrace more and have more time to do when she's not doing her nine to five job. So I hope that answers your question.

Melinda 11:50

I know that I've seen you doing stuff and that your granddaughter's a part of Oola now. Yes. And so I do see there's a wide gap for you'cause you wanna cover. Yes. And I think that's great because what we were taught, you and I growing up is not the same for their generation. And so you do need to address both ends of it. So yeah, I think it's great to know who you are and who you serve. I don't think you have to label everything, and there's people that. Would want me to coach them, and they are not necessarily my niche. So I did work through a story branding thing and come down to my niche, which was super close to where I thought it was, but it proved it out on paper. So I was actually shocked that that worked. But um, yeah, I coached beyond my niche as well. So well think

Debbie 12:35

about this. It would be doing a disservice to the younger generation. To have them get to be 60 years old and go, Ugh, I wish somebody would've told me I could've done this. Yes. And I mean, it becomes very personal when they're your kids, your grandkids and letting'em know that, I'm gonna love you Right where you're at. What is your dream? And not having someone in the world, friends, family, people in Your job community.'cause when you're young, you're impressionable. And people, that's where people lose their dreams. They'll lose their dreams. You need to go to college, you have to do this. You aren't gonna be able to do that. You're never gonna be talented enough. And to let them know that, if this is your passion, I would feel like I'm doing a disservice to my granddaughter if I wasn't showing her that. Her actual clear vision of what she wants for her life, she should work toward that. And I think that was the advantage of taking her. To a convention. She is part of the Lula community. Taking her to a convention in June, that was very beneficial for her because it solidified that what I wanna do is what I wanna do and nobody else gets to tell me differently.

Melinda 13:44

I think that's awesome. That's the whole reason behind our podcast. Coaches are so different. Mm-hmm. Once you start labeling life coaching, you miss out on the authenticity of what everybody has to offer from within. So I'm just loving all of this. That was a great answer.

Debbie 14:03

We're gonna get

Stephanie 14:04

into the

Debbie 14:04

topic of guilt now. So, oh, fun. Hold on. So

Stephanie 14:09

no one is immune to guilt. We all make mistakes and we have all said and done things that make us feel guilty. The weight of persistent guilt, however, will weigh you down and hinder you from the life you want. So, Debbie, as a grandmother and mentor, and you talked about how your. granddaughter is involved in Oola. How are you helping the younger generation or even any of your clients understand the concept

Debbie 14:33

of guilt? Well, I did not know that guilt was the blocker that I needed to breakthrough until I went to Bula Palooza in 2018, and we got. To the blockers. and I highly recommend everybody go to Alza at least once, because I went there, I was prepared, I was like, I broke through everything. I was prepared. I came with a warning label. But the reality is you don't know what's gonna impact you until you really start working on you. And guilt was huge. short version. My daughter was struck by a car when she was nine and. That was in 1987. She's still here. She's living at home with me. This is what I do full time, even when I had careers. She is my purpose. She is my miracle every day. And I can say that. That's great. That's awesome. People say, you do a wonderful job. Great. That's awesome. But the reality is guilt was being buried and disguised as a happy mom that's just blessed to have her daughter, which I am. I did not need to use that as a mask. And that's the thing I don't want my granddaughter to do either because guilt, The definition of guilt is feeling responsible or regretful for something that you think you've done wrong, real or imaginary. And it's also part of the grieving process. they have movie clips at Little Palooza and it was, Angelina Jolie and the movie Maleficent, And her quote was, when she's looking at sleeping beauty, she goes, I swear, no harm will come to you as long as I live and not a day shall pass that I don't miss your smile. And for me, I miss my daughter's voice. I'm gonna get emotional. And that is where it hit, that's where it hit all these years. She got hurt on my watch. Excuse me. I didn't need to, I didn't know I was gonna do this. Sorry. guilt is such an ugly, an ugly thing, and it serves no one because all the actions and All the life journeys that we've had have all been wonderful. The only person carrying guilt was me because she got hurt on my watch. That's something that every parent feels, that every parent goes through, that every human being does, whether you're taking care of a parent or you're just simply just trying to make ends meet. So it hits every one of the seven Fs of hula. You can feel guilty for not having enough money or not spending enough time with your kids, or not going to church as often as you want, or. Simply not taking a walk when you should. Guilt will hit a lot of those, but it serves no purpose because 90% of the time guilt is made up in our head for something that's totally and completely out of our control, oftentimes. And if it is a true function that you think guilt is keeping you from, it's probably more of a lack of discipline or a lack of Feeling like you're enough, and that's a whole different topic. But that guilt thing broke me down at Oola Palooza and I thought, here I am 60 years old and I never knew I felt guilty for this, ever, ever. And that is the beauty of Oola. It gets to the core of who are you? Where do you wanna go in your life? How are we gonna get you there? And that was huge. The emotions of this will never go away. The impact of this accident, this impact of how it affects the grandchildren, because they've never known her before. They've only known her as she is now. will never go away. So the emotions never go away. you try to control it what you don't wanna do and will let it go. Feel everything. Feel everything and know that you can break through this by, like we say, using the ready, set, go process. What am I feeling right now? I'm feeling guilty. What does my life look like? If I just keep living like this? I'm still gonna be sick. I'm gonna end up with stress induced bowels palsy. Again. I'm not gonna be happy. It's all hidden, but what if it looks like if I do acknowledge it and just know this is just pain. It's a grief process. That I'm going through, that I don't have the same daughter I had before she got hit. And then just taking those action steps, let's go take the action steps. 20 seconds of purging going, yeah, this sucks and it's gonna suck for the rest of my life, but what are we gonna do with it? Every day I wake up and I see a miracle. I see a blessing, I see something good. I look for the good, and that's how I start my day every day. Because of her, because of her. Did that answer your question? Yeah, it did.

Stephanie 19:23

Thank you for sharing that story with us.

Melinda 19:26

Persistent guilt can become a real Oola blocker over a time. It can hide behind a disguise itself as other emotions and behaviors. Can you think of a time. When you were a client, were expressing an emotion or a behavior that was the direct result of guilt, but maybe didn't come across that way?

Debbie 19:49

Well, well, you know my story now, but I did have a young client, who was about ready to become a single mom, and She was, finishing up her college education. She's gonna be a teacher. She's pregnant in the middle of Covid. The baby's born like right after Covid May of 2020. I mean, just the sweetest, dearest girl. And I think guilt was disguised as anger for her. She was mad that things weren't going the way she wanted and stuff. And while we're talking about the blockers, she just all of a sudden goes, I just think I feel bad that I can't do everything I need to do. for my daughter, for me, I'm living in my mom's basement. I mean, it was coming out as anger toward her parents. But when we really continue to talk through the process and ask the, well, why do you think you feel that way? And you wanna be very, very thoughtful as a coach, especially if somebody is hurting and they feel stuck, they do know what the answer is. They just have to go through a process to get it. And when all of a said, she goes, I feel guilty. I feel guilty that I'm gonna bring my daughter into this world and I'm not ready for her. I feel guilty that I don't have a home for her. I feel guilty that I can't do more for my parents because they're doing so much for me. And I cry a lot with my clients because when they have those breakthroughs, you're right there with them because you learn from them just as well. And I thought that was just so sweet. Here she is 20 years old, In the thick of everything where everything's heavy on her, and she was striking out in anger when the reality was, she just felt like, I feel so guilty that I'm not good enough. I feel like I don't have enough money for my daughter. I feel like I, I'm focusing on school more than I am. This, you know, there was just so many levels of guilt. So that was a beautiful, beautiful breakthrough for her. Now she's a successful teacher. Her daughter is three years old, and we stay in contact, and she's just a sweet human being, and I'm so grateful she broke through that a lot sooner than I did, because Guilt doesn't last very long. You'll get it. You can't live without a little bit of it. But then how you deal with it, is how you choose to move forward and break through your day.'cause you just don't wanna carry it.

Melinda 21:59

Right. I think what you said about anger is important. Anger is another one of our blockers, and I think that. Guilt often is disguised by people coming at you with anger, for sure. Yep. So that's, that's our next blocker actually, so people should stay tuned for that one.

Debbie 22:16

That's a good one to go through. Yes, the

Melinda 22:19

Oola guru has said, learn from the past, but don't continue to live in it. God forgave you even before you failed. Now all you need to do is ask for forgiveness from those you failed, and most importantly, yourself. What are some ways you have unburdened your life from the guilt you were carrying with you? Do you have any suggestions for our

Debbie 22:41

listeners? I know this might sound very simplistic. look for the good. When you wake up in the morning, did your feet hit the floor? That's good. just look for the good. I wake up every morning to hugs and a smile from a girl that medically speaking is not even supposed to be here. So it's hard. Even though I was feeling all that guilt, and I did this routine every day, what Oola did was help me eliminate the guilt. Do I feel like I'm the perfect mom? No. And Oola says, that's all right. no one's gonna be the perfect parent. But you know what? I know that she would not be here if she wasn't living with me. The doctors say she would not be here if she wasn't living with me, because that makes her happy. And so I think going through the process of recognizing that, instead of saying, I have to do this stuff to take care of my daughter, I get to do this and take care of my daughter. I'm blessed that I'm healthy and I can still take care of her, and I'm so grateful that I get to hug her and see her every day, and that people get to know her story because it's not done. And mine isn't either. So changing terminology and the internal thought process, I sleep better because I don't carry that where I'm going to bed, and I'm like, Am I doing enough? Am I saying enough? Am I being enough? Is there enough money? I don't go to bed like that. When I go to bed. I go to bed to rest because I get to get up tomorrow. God willing. Knock on wood. I get to get up tomorrow and I get to do it all over again, and I get to live, and I get to live my wonderful Oola life. I get to live it. And that to me is the answer. And it keeps me grounded now where I wake up and I smile, whereas. Before I wake up and go, oh, I gotta do all this stuff. the non-glamorous part of being a caregiver of somebody with a disability, whether or an aging parent or a an ill spouse or. A sum that's deployed there's always a process, and if you include gratitude in that process, it will definitely eliminate a lot of the internal illness that eventually, came to a head when I got in, 2017 when I got stressed induced bill palsy because it was all stress. It was all stress related. question. You just described that

Melinda 25:07

perfectly. I think for me, Oola actually taught me that lesson as well, and I'll be ever grateful for it. That mindset shift

Debbie 25:16

was, yeah. Huge.

Stephanie 25:20

Yep. I was gonna ask you what Oola Accelerator someone could use to combat the blocker of guilt, and you just described gratitude, which we had Coach Danelle Meyer on talking about that earlier. So

Debbie 25:33

she's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. I love

Stephanie 25:35

her. We are asking all the coaches on our show some questions similar to the PRT questionnaire, which became popular from a Parler game created by a Marcel PRUs, a French essayist, a novelist who believed that in answering 35 questions and individual reveals his or her true nature and. We tell everyone, don't worry, we're not asking 35. We're just, we picked, we

Debbie 25:59

picked five.

Stephanie 26:01

Yeah. The first one is, tell us something in your life that has grown out of a personal disaster.

Debbie 26:07

I would say Jessica's accident. you really do not know how strong you are until you get into that situation, which, I tell people I'm part of a very exclusive club that you don't want anybody to ever join. You don't want anybody to have to go through this. You don't want anybody to go through the trauma and I found out years later that some form of P T S D, but at the end of the day, when people come up and go, I don't know how you do it. I just reflect or return the question back to them and say, what would you not do For somebody that you love. That is the actual question, what would you not do? And so even though I didn't have Oola in 1987, I was amazed at the strength that I had. And I know that's directly related to my faith, that I was gonna get through this. I had a great support system. My family was amazing. I had a community, Incredible doctors. I have a medical layman's degree in about seven different areas. but the reality is, had I not gone through that, I never would've known how strong I actually am. Even though I felt like I wasn't good enough. I actually was in the process and I knew in that area I was super strong, how to negotiate, how to get paperwork done, how to get answers for people, how to advocate. So that, that was a really bad trauma. But I learned a lot about myself And I think that, that tragedy helped me a lot to become, humble and grateful, even before I found Oola. And then Oola just solidified and brought other things to the surface that I'd been keeping down. So, How old is your daughter now? She's 45. Wow, that's awesome. I know. It's like, this is the longest job I've ever had. It's like been doing this what, for 36 years now?

Melinda 28:01

For 36 years. Okay. So, well this is a little personal, but your husband then, he came in on the scene after you had Jessica,

Debbie 28:08

right? Yes, yes, He did. Amazing. Yep. And I've seen so many marriages destroyed because of this, because she wasn't the only one in I C U. I mean, there were other accidents and other kids in her age group that had been hurt in different ways, and watching those families fall apart was really, really hard. Because then again, the guilt takes over. let's say the the mom is driving the car that gets hit. Then the dad getting mad at the mom. It wasn't her fault, you know, there was just a lot of, a lot of sadness. And also, in some ways I look back and I'm very, very grateful that I was single at the time because I didn't have to argue with anybody about how we were gonna take care of her, what decisions had to be made for her. And, yeah, art came along later in life, in 1999 and, His mother didn't want him to marry me because of Jessica and his mom and I had this conversation. I said I would not be who I am without her. I just wouldn't, She consumes so much of who I am and what I am, that, if he doesn't wanna marry me because of her, then he is not the right person. He's just not, he helps a lot with her care when I travel with Oola and, I appreciate it so much. Or when I go to Kansas to visit my mom, art steps in, and does the things that he can, And, I am so grateful that I did find someone who loved me for me. Well, the way I live, And it's a hard thing. Both people like you, but they don't wanna deal with this part of it. And I go, well, that is me. That is part of me.

Melinda 29:48

Yeah. That's great. That's fantastic.

Debbie 29:50

yeah, he's a good guy. he's a keeper. I'll keep him.

Melinda 29:54

Good. So the next question, when and where were you the happiest you have

Debbie 29:58

ever been? Right now? It is right now. I am really happy right now. Does that mean everything's perfect? No. And people always think, well, if you're happy right now, everything must be perfect. No, but it's going well. we do projects together. We get to hang out with kids together. We get to celebrate big birthdays together. we get to wake up every morning. I'm so grateful. It's hard to think of a time where I was happier. yeah, today I, I would say this is the happiest. It's the happiest and tomorrow I'll be even happier.

Melinda 30:30

And what relationship defines love for you? Real or fictional?

Debbie 30:35

well, I like to deal in the real, and this might sound odd, but the relationship that I have with my son that defines love, we have been through it all together. He is truly one of my best friends. He is somebody whose opinion I value. He grew up to be an army medic. Flight medic, wanted to give his mom heart attack when he is going to Afghanistan and Iraq. but when I look at him, I look at him and I see that relationship that both of us have. And there are so many people that say, I wish I had that connection. Now my husband's not offended by that at all. we went through a lot of bad stuff and we came out the other side together.'cause he certainly could have gone down a different path. Being a single mom with a sister hurt like she is. there could have been a lot of different choices, but that connection that we have, is real. And that really defines unconditional love, respect, and, consistency. For me, if I really have a difficult problem, he's my go-to person, he's my person, my son is, and then. I introduced him to his wife, who's another beautiful soul, a great friend of mine, one of my dearest friends. I could not be more blessed. And then they gave me some beautiful grandchildren. So

Stephanie 31:59

you might've already answered this one. What person, place, or experience

Debbie 32:02

has shaped you the most? Well, I'm gonna step away from Jessica. Well, first of all, Jessica has had the most impact on my life, but I will say the clarity in everything that I got from Oola, I couldn't believe it. I mean, I felt like I'm late to this party and here are these guys talking about this. You know where you are, just where you are, it's not who you are. And I'm like, what? Honestly, Dave and Troy have had the biggest impact in my life. Since I turned 60. I'm 66 now. And it's like, what the heck? and this is important for people to know that when people impact your life, it doesn't have to be somebody that you really know personally. If somebody says something to you and you glom onto it, I'm constantly quoting people I say I live my life through the lens of Oola and when you live your life through the lens of Oola, you see Oola everywhere, movies, quotes. Books, you ladies that I'm talking to right now. I see Oola everywhere and I have them to thank for that. I have them to thank for that because that was life changing 2017, 2018. And then as it kept going on has been life changing for me. And so, Yeah, those two outside of all the other stuff with Jessica and everything, which I think is logical, but that would impact my life. Those two guys, those two guys, those two guys saved my life, changed my life, and I cannot say that enough times.

Melinda 33:35

They got me good. I was at a talk one time and they said, if you are not living on the edge, you are not living. I all but burst into tears. I'm like, oh my gosh, I have no luck.

Debbie 33:48

What am I doing? I was late to the party too, and then for me, I'm like, I feel my whole life is on the edge. I never know what I'm like balancing, trying not to fall over the cliff. But see, that's what they do. That's the uniqueness of Oola because you are different. Stephanie's different, and I am different. And how we hear that message is gonna impact us differently. Absolutely. Each one of us uniquely, which I think is what's cool about Oola, but Doug gone it Troy and Dave, you are on the podcast as two people that have most impacted my life.

Stephanie 34:25

Yeah. I think they've impacted. all of us. Mm-hmm. And all of the thousands of people, there are million people. The last of the Prost questions. What advice would you give to your

Debbie 34:38

younger self? I would, I'd say don't listen to your mom. Debbie's keeping it real. You can't see us all. But we're laughing on our screens because my generation, I'm the oldest outta six and I have four younger brothers and started all the way back in high school. I was a great student. I mean, I went to three high schools and three years and I graduated my junior year'cause we moved every year and I said, I'm not moving my senior year. So a little bit of background information on me, but when I got ready to graduate, all my friends, They were either gonna go to community college or some of'em were already engaged. but my parents, my mom made it clear to me that they did not have money for me to go to college. They were saving it for my brother. And I said, what? And she goes, yeah, because he's a boy. And that's how it was back then. They didn't pay for girls to go to college. We were expected to graduate school, maybe get a little secretary job, then get married and have kids, and it's like, oh. So if I was to go back and talk to my younger self, I'd say, you go to college any way that you can, or you go find what you wanna do any way that you can, and don't let one person keep you from doing that. That's why I'm so passionate about helping my granddaughter and her friends, because it's like, well, I really wanna do that. Great. My answer is, well, what do you gotta do to get there? What they're expecting Hailey's grandma to say, oh, really? You're gonna wanna do that? It's like, like, no, no, but yeah, and don't let go of your dreams, whatever they are. I didn't even think about dreams back then. But yeah, find a way. Whatever you're feeling right now. No matter what age you are, if your dream is there, find a way to go get it. It's possible. Everything's possible. Good message for the younger folks.

Melinda 36:38

We are also asking all the coaches on our show if they have taken an Enneagram test for anyone out there unfamiliar that Enneagram is a system of personality typing. That describes patterns in how people interpret the world and manage their emotions. Have you ever taken an Enneagram

Debbie 36:57

test? Yes. I took it, what? A couple weeks ago? but I am a two. The helper, shocker. I don't have the definition, but I was 79% a two. And I don't really know all the details of this. I did this because you guys asked me to. Sure. But now I wanna dig deeper and I think I have a book on it somewhere because somebody on Facebook Live said Order it. Which I don't just do that anymore either. I don't just click and order something'cause somebody says it. But I think that does fit me. I think it does

Melinda 37:26

too. Let me tell you a little bit about it. A two is the helper, like you said, and twos are generous, supportive, and caring. And they have the drive to make the people around us. Feel loved and comfortable. It's why they are called helpers and givers. Twos readily offer whatever they have, their time, their attention care packages containing Oola swag. They love to feel involved in the lives and needs of the

Debbie 37:53

people around them. Stephanie and I are laughing because Yes, I added that.

Melinda 38:01

So you do agree with your results?

Debbie 38:03

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. And it's like, what is it, Mr. Rogers that said, whenever there's a disaster or anything, look for the helpers. And that's, yeah. It's so funny when it said The helper, I'm like, oh wow. That quote came to mind right away and I think that's, I like that about me. And before Oola, I I think I, I said yes too much, but now by not saying yes, every time I really feel like I'm making a bigger impact. Because helping is not limited to money. And so we're all coaches on this. We all have successful businesses and coaching, but I don't tell someone no, if they really need help in Oola, if they can't come up with money, I will help'em. I will know their story and, um, whatever the situation is. If you're a helper, you want people to do better, feel better, that's why I love mentoring. Uh, they'll reach out and say, Debbie, do you have time to talk? Sure. Here's my Calendly link and let's set an appointment. And, I just think that when you're a helper, people think you say yes to everything. And I probably did say yes too much before Oola, but now being a helper means I'm intentional. I'm here to serve you. I'm here to help you. I. In this moment with what you need, whether it's my husband, whether it's my grandchildren, whether it's my friends, other coaches, how can I help you? How can I serve you best? And it's really funny. Saying no has really made me more powerful, I think in the helper department. I would agree with that. An unhealthy helper

Stephanie 39:43

is the one that says yes to everything. And that was me as well. one of the questions that I like to ask coaches on our show, what quote or motto do you value or live by?

Debbie 39:59

Do you have one? There's a lot of Oola quotes that really resonate with me, But there was one that, um, I'm trying to think. It was, I think of Steve Martin. I was watching the reels with him, and he's, and it, I've been watching that and kind of feeling that for a while. Is that be so good, that you can't be ignored. So when you're doing good in life, people can't ignore you. They see what you're doing. And that's one of the quotes that I hear in my head every single day be so good. And that could be be so good with caring for Jessica, be so good with, helping the Lula community be so good with. the women's shelters that I'm involved with be so good that people can't ignore you because people want to break you down. If they see that you are doing something that's amazing, there's always gonna be that group that wants to tear you down. But if you are doing good and being good and living good, you cannot be ignored. because that's your legacy. when I die, I hope people say, wow, Debbie was such a nice person. She helped people out. She did a great job. I want them to say that I was a good human being that made a difference in their life because those are things you cannot ignore. Those qualities, you just can't. So that's the one that's. I saw it like three or four months ago and I cannot get it outta my head. So that means it's supposed to live there for a while.

Stephanie 41:27

Yeah, that's a great one. Well, this has been great. We can't thank you enough, Debbie, for joining us today. Is there anything we haven't asked you today

Debbie 41:37

that you'd like to add? I would say, in this day and age, it's easy to get lost in the chaos. It really, really is easy to get lost in the chaos and not understand that. a lot of that chaos has nothing to do with you. So focus on you, focus on your inner circle, focus on your life and what you need to do to live your best life. It's every coach's dream to make a difference in their client's life. And I will say, as a coach, every single client I have had has made a deep and lasting impression on mine as well So understand much like guilt, don't add chaos that isn't yours to your life. And don't add any unnecessary guilt. To your life and go out there and just live the best you can every day and do one thing, two things, three things, three action steps a day that will get you closer to whatever your life is. So that's it. That's it in a nutshell. That will make a big impact if you start doing that every day. when you think about that three daily action steps, how hard could that be? It's not. It's just not, and that's why I love Oola, the simplicity of it, the impactfulness of it, the relatability of all these things. Like they said, it's not a secret, it's a system. And people go, well, that's common sense, not if you're not using it. So I think they open eyes. To a lot of people. So that's what I would recommend. Anybody that's listening to the podcast, look into it, because it has positively impacted my life in ways that I never, if it can change the life of a 60 year old woman, trust me. It's impactful. It's impactful. Well, that

Stephanie 43:31

is perfect and a great way to end this episode. Before we part ways, we wanna let you know that our next episode will showcase Coach Jessica Hannah and the next hula blocker of anger, which Melinda already told us. We wanna remind you that we are all designed for greatness and purpose, stress less, feel better, and enjoy life a little more. Thanks again for being with us today, Debbie and goodbye everyone.