A Widow's Tale of Hope and Resilience

When dreams are deferred, what does it take to revive them amidst life's harshest trials?

Embark on a journey with me in the latest episode as I share the twists and turns of my life!

From sidelining dreams as a wife to discovering my own strength as a widow, and now navigating a Stage IV cancer diagnosis. All the while trying to make a difference in the world of grief, one widow at a time!

My story isn't just about survival—it's a masterclass in crafting a legacy that dances with hope, touching lives, creating a narrative of courage and resilience.

Join me as I pivot, fueled by the desire to create a legacy through my podcast, coaching, and speaking, all with the unwavering belief that love is not dead, just my husband.

As always, Widow Your Way! ❤️

Transcript

Rebecca 0:00

As a wife , I put my dreams aside . As a widow , I discovered that my dreams could come true . As a cancer patient , my dreams are on hold . I knew I wanted something different when I was part of this company event that had a team building facilitator leading activities . It was bringing employees together in ways that I've just never seen before Working together , solving puzzles , expressing their creativity , but most of all , they were having fun . It was almost like I was watching myself . That is the role that I was meant for , but not knowing what it was called , I went back to school for human resources and the first place that I wanted to make a difference was within my own company , and I soon learned that human resources was a lot of work . But it did give me the advantage of seeing things from two different perspectives as an employee and as an employer . Just as I was finishing school , my passion shifted . That's when I started this podcast . Love is Not Dead Just my Husband .

Rebecca 1:15

I wanted to support widows stuck in the pain of loss and who wanted to actually move forward and live happily even after . Podcasting has been the most amazing thing that I've ever done , but I wanted to do more . But how ? I wanted to do coaching and work with widows one-on-one , but there just seemed to be something I was missing . Like , you can find widows support anywhere with anyone , so why would someone want to work with me ? I took a life certification course to start the process and , of course , I second guessed myself the entire time , so much so that I never did anything with it . But still I questioned how can I make a difference ? How can I make things easier for widows ? Where do we struggle the most after a loss ? Then I thought going back to work . But the problem doesn't just lie with us . It also lies with our employers . And this is where I thought that I would make the difference . This is what I knew . I would put the human back in human resources . I wanted to help employers understand how to better support grief in the workplace .

Rebecca 2:54

So the research began . I talked to other widows business owners just looking to see if there was a need for it and no surprise , there was . Next , I needed help with starting a business . Now I had been following Ina Kovni at Get Clients First for the podcast and my potential coaching business . I loved her energy and her optimism . Ina was magnetic and I knew from the first moment that I heard her speak , that I wanted to work with her , so I asked Ina if she would help me pivot with this new idea and she was totally on board . I mean , we got to work immediately and the one-on-one sessions with Ina was so empowering we got right to it . Each session , not a minute wasted . But the in-person full-day experience with Ina in Boston was the icing on the cake . By the time I left Boston , I was 90% done with all the business aspects . The last step was actually getting clients , but if you know me , there's always a but .

Rebecca 4:26

Shortly after returning home , I had my routine six month scan for ocular melanoma , which I was diagnosed for in 2018 , just six weeks after my husband , tom , had died . This was my official five year scan and I was super excited to get an all clear to only have annual scans from that point going forward . But that's not what happened . The scans showed that the cancer had metastasized to my liver and everything changed . My entire life was put back on hold again due to cancer . No work , no podcasting , no business , just cancer .

Rebecca 5:11

I did take a week to wallow in self pity , and then I started to repeat a mantra that a fellow ocular melanoma friend had said to me I am here today , I will be here tomorrow , and there are a lot of tomorrows . Then my friend Nicole said to me forget cancer , forget work , forget everything . What do you want to do with the remainder of your life ? What's going to bring you the most joy , without missing a beat ? Podcasting I want to help as many people as I can before I die . I want to leave something behind to be remembered , for my son to be proud of . I want this podcast to be my legacy . So another pivot , but that's okay . That's what life is about pivoting . So , even though it was a lot of work , ina helped me switch everything over from my new business of grief in the workplace to focus more on my podcast , working with widows one on one and speaking . Ina helped make my ideas of ways to work with widows come alive on my website .

Rebecca 6:35

I don't think I could have done all that without her . Not only has Ina been a terrific business coach , I've gained a true friend in the process and my very first business bestie . I have decided that I'm not going to let cancer put a kibosh on my career . I'm still going to offer support for grief in the workplace , but on a smaller scale . I'm going to use the remaining time that I have to help support as many widows as possible . I want to help you embrace life and loss . At the same time , I want to inspire you to embark on your own meaningful path . I want you to regain a sense of purpose and rewrite your own story . I'm not sure how all of this is going to pan out . I may even fail , but I'm going to make the most of it and I'm sure as hell going to have fun doing it , because , after all , love is not dead . That's my husband .