From Brokenness To Purpose

We talk with Pat Domangue about discovering purpose after seasons of brokenness, poor choices, and deep shame, and why your past does not get to write your whole story. We walk through what healing can look like over time, how faith becomes a real pathway to transformation, and how to pursue truth instead of just dreaming about it. 
• choosing rooted joy, authenticity, and meaning when life derails 
• Pat’s encounter with the Lord at 30 and the slow work of change 
• sexual assault, shame, and the way trauma distorts identity 
• suicidal despair, crying out to God, and the belief of being “too bad” 
• releasing alcohol, surrendering control, and learning trust 
• deciding you want to get well and doing something different 
• building identity through Scripture and replacing old labels 
• mentors, ministry calling, and practical counsel for next steps 
My website is on fire-ministries.org. 

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Transcript

Welcome And Rooted Joy

Cassandra 0:25

And I'd like to welcome you to Is Your Way in Your Way. And I'm your host. My name is Cassandra Crawley Mayo. And this podcast is about, it's more about empowering women to break through internal barriers, redefine your success on your own terms, and start living with purpose and meaning. Um, when life does not go according to your plan, it's really about what I would call choosing the rooted joy, choosing life's rooted joy or happiness, however you want to share it, joy or happiness, and also authenticity and fulfillment instead of just going through the motions every day. You know, like I remember when I was in corporate, if I would work 10 hours or more, I don't even know what an eight-hour day would look like, but I was so exhausted, I'd come home, eat something, go to bed, get up, catch a flight. You know, everything was just, you know, it was everything was motion. It's it wasn't an action that really truly meant a lot to me after a while doing that. So today I'll hit, well, uh what I would say is we talk about topics related to, of course, empowering, um, self-reflection, and also just things that enable you to look in the mirror and say, you know what, I've I've been here, I see this, and I'm I'm I'm actually gonna break through. So today we're talking about discovering purpose after seasons of brokenness and poor choices. Trust me. So I'm gonna I'm gonna introduce you to my guest today, but this the Bible I'm gonna read is really less about credentials, and it's gonna be more about um a story of transformation. So, for example, have you ever felt like your past mistakes, painful experience, or broken places were disqualifying you from the life God intended for you? What those experiences were really your foundation of your greatest transformation? You may not believe that, but think about it. So, today we're gonna talk with a woman by the name of Pat Doming. And also, we are going to talk about her journey from darkness to divine purpose, has is gonna inspire countless women to embrace your healing, discover your wholeness, and step boldly into God's calling. So, I from that, I'd like to welcome Pat to the stage. Hi, Pat, Domain, how are you?

Speaker 1 3:23

I'm very good, Cassandra. Thank you for inviting me to come on your show today and share some of my story.

Cassandra 3:31

Yeah, it's a blessing to have you on my show today. Wow. Let me let me I'm gonna I'm gonna read a little bit, not all, bio so people, my listeners will kind of understand what qualifies you to kind of talk about this brokenness, you know, that that we're talking about and um um and discovering your purpose. So Pat is a ministry leader. She's a she's a woman's ministry leader, Bible study author, faith-filled encourager who has spent more than 20 years helping women move from brokenness to wholeness. Man. Transformed by God's grace at age 30, she now inspires women to overcome life's barriers, deepen their faith, and embrace the purpose God has for their lives. She's written and published three Bible studies. My Maker and Me is what that's all about. We can't wait to hear. So, um, so Pat, my audience knows that I often talk about barriers that keep us from what I say reaching our true potential or living our best life on our terms, or looking back on our journey that was our biggest barrier standing between us. Um, so what happened when you were 30 years old?

Pat 5:00

Well, when I was 30 years old is when I encountered the Lord, and um my life was changed in that point, but it it was a slow journey. But before leading up to that, I had really lived.

Pat’s Turning Point At 30

Pat 5:15

Um, you know, I was raised in church and raised um to to have a relationship with the Lord, but I just was very rebellious and hard-headed and determined I was gonna do life my way, and it didn't turn out really well. Um, and so I had a lot of shame, a whole lot of baggage and just mess in my life. I was really broken. And uh I one night had an encounter with the Lord. I had started going back to church and we were doing a Bible study, and we were actually doing a Bible study about uh the book of Revelation. And um, I always say, if you do any Bible study in the book of Revelation, you will meet Jesus. So, and I did, yeah. So um, it was one night in the middle of the night at home by myself, and just had this encounter with the Lord where I had all of the um the moments of my life that were dark and ugly and things that I wished I didn't even remember and hoped that no one else would ever have to know. And um, and in that that night, the the Lord gave me the words, you know, that as far as the east is from the west, he's cast my sin. He would not remember my sin anymore. He would um transform me from even though my sins were as scarlet, that I would be white as snow. So, all of those kind of words were things that he spoke to me during that night, which it took it was still a long process of really seeing what that truly meant. And you know, your I love your is your way in your way, because all of that baggage and that old life, that shame and that brokenness, I carried that with me into my new life with the Lord, and it really I say a lot of times, it really paralyzed me from really stepping into what he wanted me to step into. So it was definitely in my way, you know.

Cassandra 7:32

Okay, okay. So, Pat, perhaps I should have asked this question first. Tell us a little bit about your backstory, because your backstory has a lot to do with where you are today, and then as we go through that, we may find that all of that back stuff was necessary to make you who you are today. Would you mind sharing some of it?

Pat 8:01

Yeah, no, I I don't mind at all sharing. So I was, like I said, raised in church, and then um at age 13, I was sexually assaulted, and that was one of those points that just transformed my my identity. I became in my mind, I was a bad person that happened to me because

Trauma And A Shattered Identity

Pat 8:25

I was a bad person, and I carried that identity with me for many, many years, and I carried that identity with me even after I met the Lord for a long time until he began to show me through his word that that's not what he says about me. So um that that was the probably the core malfunction of my my story, and it just it tainted everything for me. I mean, I was married uh got pregnant and got married at 16, then um got a divorce six months later. So I'm I mean, at 17 years old, I've got failure already, you know, and then met man number two at 19 in a bar. That was kind of the life I was living, and just um anyway, that ended up just carrying on through until finally I had that encounter at 30 years old. And you know, one of the things I always do when I I go and I speak and share, because now you know I've been to seminary, I've got seminary degrees, I've got Bible studies that I've written and all that. So I think a lot of times it because it's been so long since that was my life, that I think a lot of times people look at me and think, Oh, sh this is easy for her. She, you know, it and it wasn't. I I mean, it was a long process of transformation and some really difficult, hard things to go through, but I was able to overcome, but I think I was able to overcome by what the transformation of God's word and the Holy Spirit living in me when you were going through as I walked through the valley of the shadow of death, while doing that, did you ever feel like did you did you cry out to God because you had you've been in the church?

Cassandra 10:56

So that foundation was there, and and and while there, there's sometimes when people, you know, if if you heard the story about God, Jesus, then you hear about the devil, you know. So did you during that time before your pivotal moment, were you crying out to him? Did you like want to just go somewhere and hide? Um because yeah, tell tell us about that experience because before he spoke to you, although he knew he was going to give you some revelational knowledge for sure. What what what was going on before that? Like I said, were you crying out to him? Did you want to give up? Did you want to go high? What was tell us about that?

Pat 11:47

Well, I'll go all the way back to the the situation where at 13, whenever I um was sexually assaulted. Two weeks later, this is something I don't talk about a whole lot, and but you know, I I share it sometimes, but this is feels like the right moment to share it. I attempted to take my own life. I had been raised very sheltered, and um I didn't, I thought that because that happened to me, it meant I was pregnant, I was 13, I was young, I didn't know what that, you know, so I didn't have any clue of what I was facing. And so I attempted to take my own life, and I remember that night in uh in that room, and and honestly, when I I vividly remember that night, and I remember there was I felt evil presence in in there, but in that I called out to the Lord and I said, and this was way before I come to the Lord,

Suicidal Despair And Crying Out

Pat 12:48

I said, if you will save me from this, I will never do this again. And he did. Now it was not a good next few, you know, little bit of time, but um, but that was the time that I cried out to the Lord, and that there was several times, you know, when my daddy died, I didn't think I could survive it because he was just my greatest love of my life, you know, was my daddy, and um I didn't think I was going to survive that. I called out to the Lord during that time, so there were several times that I would call out to the Lord, but the problem was I always believed I was too bad, I was not worthy of his presence, I wasn't worthy of him uh to do anything beyond just save me out of that moment, out of that circumstance, you know. But I've found something totally different in walking with him.

Cassandra 13:50

So I don't know if that answers exactly what you're asking, but yeah, yeah, it does, it does, because what I wanted to be able to do is for you to share with the listeners the traumatic, it was traumatic. I mean, it's kind of like um dying to self, maybe, you know, and that's a painful death, you know, crying, yeah. Yeah, and and I wanted them to hear, although you go through because we're all gonna go through something, yes, and you did cry out, you know, he knew your heart, and he also had a purpose for you, so he worked all things out for good for those who love him according to his riches and glory, absolutely, yeah. So that's what happened. So when he gave you this revelation from the book of revelation, um it took you a moment to say, Okay, I surrendered, okay, this is it. All right, I'm going to help women discover their faith. So once you got that revelation, how did you get into helping women after you've been broken down so much?

Pat 15:10

Yeah. Well, it took me, I would say, five years from the time that of my encounter with the Lord to be free of my past. I was I was still an alcoholic. I was still, but I was in in the word, drinking and reading my Bible, just trying to, just trying to get it in. Because, you know, one of the things I always say that the Lord did for me whenever um he came into my life is he gave me this understanding if I would ever be free of my past, my hope was in Jesus. And so because of that, I went to church and I read my Bible. Those are the two things I knew to do, and that was it. So I did it until one day I the Lord, once again, I have this other encounter with the Lord. I have been really wrestling with him. He's changed so much of my life. I'm about five

Releasing Alcohol And Choosing Freedom

Pat 16:03

years in, and there had been like a two-year battle of him trying to get me to release the alcohol. And I was just like, not that you drank. If you drank, I can drink, you know. So that's kind of how I laid it out to the Lord. And there was a one particular moment that we had gone to church one morning. I had had my two bottles of wine to drink the night before, went to church with my hangover, just as very common and normal in those days, carrying all the shame and all of that. And uh, my Sunday school teacher, this I don't know if y'all have Sunday school where you are, but in the day that I'm talking about, we still had Sunday school, and they don't do that as much now. Well, anyway, whenever I sat down in there, the teacher got up and he put his Bible on the little stand and he just looked at it for like a whole minute, and it's just silence in the room. And you're, you know, you're in a room of 30 people, and silence for a whole minute when you're expecting somebody to talk seems like a long time. So everybody's really paying attention. And he said, The word of the Lord is I've been knocking and I have been knocking. I'm about to give you over to that thing which you so desire. And I'm just telling you, that was straight to my heart. I knew that he was saying, let it go. I've called you and it's time, you know. So I did. I went home. Wow, it was crying, I was on my face, crying over it, you know, threw all the alcohol in my house away, and just went with it. And so that that particular time, we in that next year, the Lord began to teach me that I could trust him. And it he began to teach me that he really loved me and that uh and he used my kids. I love how God uses our kids a lot of times. Um, you know, we love our kids so much. We would we want the best for them, we would do anything for them, and so he he used my love for them to show me I love you so much more than you can love them. I want the best for you so much more than you can want the best for them. And there was just at some point, and he just kept saying, Will you trust me? And at some point I just said, All right, I get it. Yes, you're trustworthy, you love me this much. I'm going all in. And so, because of my experience, and then this was just such a freeing thing for me. I mean, the all the old life was gone. I was able to walk in this freedom because I knew the word and because I knew what God's word said about me, and so I I couldn't help but want to see other women experience what I had experienced.

Cassandra 19:09

Okay, you know, and is that so that's part of why you went into the ministry and you went to school and um you had a thirst for that?

Pat 19:21

Oh, yes. I I mean I definitely had the Lord once again, another encounter with the Lord in one particular night when God showed me that He had called me to ministry. I did not know what that meant. I was clueless, you know, and I had three kids and life was nuts. And yeah, um, my seminary experience was kind of wild because it took me eight years to get a bachelor's degree because I was driving to seminary four and a half hours away from home while my husband was being Mr. Mom. And um and so it was just a it's a wild, it was a wild life for a while. So it took me a while to get to get that degree and all that, but I felt like I needed that. I think a lot of the reason that I felt like I needed that was because of my past. And I needed I needed people to see I'm in, you know, because I had really lived uh out loud an ugly life out loud. I didn't it wasn't private.

Cassandra 20:28

So well, how do you how do you get women? You know, because there are a lot of us listeners and and I've I've been there too broken, you know, like what am I doing? Why am I here? I've even like, what, why am I here? How do you help women discover the you know how faith healing becomes a pathway to transformation like yourself?

Pat 20:57

Well, it's my based on my experience. Um, I I am sharing out of what I have experienced. And what I have experienced has been a complete deliverance, healing, transformation that has come to me. I've experienced it through a relationship with Jesus through

Faith That Starts With A Decision

Pat 21:18

his word. And you know, there's like I didn't go to any kind of rehab to get free of alcohol. I went to the word. I didn't, you know, all the the brokenness from being sexually assaulted and then the failures uh of marriage and all of that, I didn't have any kind of professional help that got me free of it. I just had a relationship with the Lord. So out of that, that's why I write Bible studies. Yeah, because I mean it like radically made a difference in my life, and I know that what what I've experienced, there's women that could have it, you know, and that's all I want to give it to them. So that's that's a lot of why I I do what I do because I really believe it.

Cassandra 22:15

Right, absolutely. So for my listeners that are not in your space right now, they don't come to your classes. Um, not that they can't now because you only give them information, but those women that are stuck and they know that you know, you get to a point where you get sick and tired of being sick and tired. Yes, like okay, okay, this is it. This is it. What can you tell my listeners how to start? The transformation.

Pat 22:48

Well, the first the first thing is is just faith is simple. It's just simply believing. You know, you've got to believe that there is hope for you, that there is another experience for you, that just because your circumstances have been one thing, doesn't it doesn't write the story of your whole life unless you let it. I think your is your way in your way. We have to determine within ourselves because I came to that place of I just didn't want the rest of my life to just be one mess after another because I lived it long enough, you know, and I did. I got sick and tired of it. And so we have to realize, and so a lot of times we have to do something different than you know, I the story that's coming in my mind right now is in John 5. There's a man that is by the pool of Bethesda, and he's been he's been laying there for 38 years, lame, and doing the exact same thing over and over again, and and not getting any kind of different results. And the thing that's interesting with that story is that Jesus comes to this place and he encounters this man and he asks him, Do you want to get well? Yeah. Because we have to determine, do we want it? And and when I look up that, because I've I've studied that story, when I looked up that original language word, it is like, do you have the resolve? You know, because I I think about my mother when she was used when she was here still, she's with Jesus now, but she used to say, you have to have some intestinal fortitude. And I don't, I don't know if I always understood what that means. That's what it is. We've just got to say, you know what? I don't want this anymore. And we've got to push through and do whatever it takes to get that, to grasp it. But all it is, then to to make it simple, it's just saying yes to Jesus and walking the thing out, right?

Cassandra 25:15

Right. You gotta believe and you and you gotta make a decision. You gotta make a decision. What does it mean to become the woman God created you to be?

Pat 25:28

Well, I think I don't know if I don't know if there is any possibility that we can do that apart from knowing what he says about us. I mean, how do how do we become who he wants us to be if we don't have a clue of what the word says about us? Because the word tells us all kinds of good stuff about us. Well, we can choose to go. We want to look at the things that we don't like about it, but the word has good things. I'm blessed, it says Ephesians 1 is a passage that you just, oh my goodness, if you read nothing but that first chapter of Ephesians, it's incredible

Relearning Identity Through Scripture

Pat 26:13

that we're blessed with every spiritual blessing, we're forgiven, we're redeemed, we're accepted in the beloved, uh, we're accepted into God's family, you know. So there's so many things that we have to start realizing that when Jesus came comes into our life, then he reidentifies us. We're not who we were, I'm not that person, I'm a new creation in Christ Jesus. I am becoming the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, so I get to stand on the truth of what he says.

Cassandra 26:50

That that's good. You um it's kind of like, you know, um, I have a uh a passage in my book titled my name of my book is Is Your Way in Your Way. And I said, you know, first of all, what do you have to lose if life has you in a bad place? Yes. Why not try God? I mean, yes, you know, what do you have to lose? And you reminded me of a story I had. I I at one time in my life was very depressed, and I was in the word, going to church, all of that, you know. So, first of all, but if you love me, why am I feeling like this? Yeah. I don't I don't get it, you know. And then I I started praying and I said, Have you ever been depressed, Jesus? I mean, have you ever felt trodden? You know, I I get a passage in my book. Um, did uh it's called Who's Ever Doubted Whether There Was a God? And I have a story there, but this story I'm gonna share now is I was like, okay, if you've been feeling like I feel, then I guess it's okay, but I don't know whether you felt like this. The next morning, reading my devotions, I read about God at the at Gethsemane. He was crying out for his father to take the cup away from him, not once, twice, three times. And when I read that, I said, You have been sad. Nobody was paying you an attention. You asked them to sit for you. So things like that all happen that only you know it's right because of what you have experienced. So I get the stories. So that so in other words, we like, well, well, let's just try him, okay? Yeah, yeah. Who who have been some of your in most influential people in your life as you're walking with the Lord?

Pat 28:48

When I very first came to the Lord, it really was my mother-in-law was a huge influence, okay, and um really impacted me. And you know, I I was a hairdresser for 20 years before I came to know the Lord. And I just think back on the many times that I heard stories about mother-in-laws and um and how it wasn't a positive experience, you know, and it's always made me realize how important and how impactful I can be with my son-in-laws because I've got three daughters and and three son-in-laws. And so we have the potential to really love someone to

Mentors Who Shape The Journey

Pat 29:33

Jesus and then lead them and guide them and help them. So she was initially probably one of my very first um people that was very influential. Now, the one of the ladies that was part of getting me to the Lord, she's still in my life as well today. Um, and so she was huge in in getting me to the Lord, but I I mean, I still I probably talked to her this week at some point, you know. So she's still kind of a mentor in a way for me. Um it'll be funny, she'll say things like, Well, you teach me now. And I'm like, I don't know. I don't know, you know. So um I have had a lot of different, and I would say as far as like being in the Word, um, Beth Moore was a Bible study author that I that's where I started, you know. I after the revelation study, that was a study uh written by David Jeremiah. But the next study I did was a women's Bible study that I went to, and it was Beth Moore, and the very first video that I watched of her, and this was a long time ago, she had really big hair then, and um, and she she was so passionate and so you you could just see it, you know. And I went home that day and got on my knees by my bed, and I said, I don't know what that woman's got, but I want it. And I did not want to teach, that's not what I meant. I just wanted whatever I could see that had so inspired her that she was that passionate, and and God gave it to me. Now he ended up calling me to teach, and not not at all part of my plan, you know, but he did, right?

Cassandra 31:30

So so now it's like you have a piece that surpasses all understanding because God has called you to do. Right, that's that's powerful. That's powerful. So, what advice would you give my listeners if they sense God is calling them?

Pat 31:48

Well, pray, of course. I you know, when I very first felt knew that the Lord was calling me, I spent about three months truly just praying. And I would say to the Lord every morning, here I am, send me, I'll go. But I didn't know anything.

Cassandra 32:06

Right.

Pat 32:07

Well, it was my mother-in-law called her. I so I think that's important, is you've got to have somebody that you trust that you know is a really good, solid, godly, grounded in the word kind of person that you can go to and talk to. So it was my mother-in-law, and I told her three months after God had called me that I thought he was calling me. And she said, Well, have you talked to your pastor?

When You Sense A Call

Pat 32:34

And I was very close to my pastor, loved him dearly and all of that, but I hadn't he was the last person I thought to talk to. And um, and she said, He's God, I said, I don't want anybody to direct me. I want to make sure that God is leading what I'm doing, you know, and she said, Well, I think you need to go talk to your pastor, he is your shepherd that God's put in your life, and I think you should. And so I did, and it was funny because the day before I went to see him, they had the church staff had met together and determined they were gonna ask me if I would lead the women's ministry. So it was it was really another God thing, you know, moment.

Cassandra 33:21

Yeah, well, you know, you you definitely have the passion. I can feel it. Uh, I can see it. There'll be listeners that will hear it and can feel it as well. Uh, it's it's contagious, it's like, okay, I want what she has because I'm feeling like she was years ago, and if she can transform based on what she's been through, I want that. And like we say, it doesn't hurt to try. I mean, like think about what is it? What what can you lose? Right, you know, yeah, yeah. So thank god you have gotten out of your way. How how can my listeners get in touch with you?

Pat 34:05

Well, my website is on fire-ministries.org. And so I have uh I have free resources on there, biblical resources, and then I have some different Bible studies. My latest Bible study that you had mentioned is my maker and me, and it is a Bible study based on what Isaiah 64, 8 says that God is our potter and we are the clay. We're all the work of his hands. So it's very much uh about that. So that's one thing, and you know, I don't know if you would mind me just sharing something I feel like the Lord's put in in my heart as we are talking, but you know, we're talking a lot about in the past

Real Prayers And How To Connect

Pat 34:51

of my pre-Jesus and yes, after Jesus, I don't want to give this illusion that nothing bad or difficult happened after because I did, you know, I especially being in ministry. I mean, there was ministry has caused me some grief and heartache that I didn't think I would survive at times. Right. But I will tell you, I went to the Lord. I'm talking, I have stomped my feet with him, I have been on my face crying like a big baby with him, just throwing a fit. I and I have that kind of relationship with the Lord, and I think he's okay with that. Yeah, you know, you think about David. David, I think it's uh Psalm 55 where David says that he he prayed that God would kill his enemies and send them to hell. I mean, he prayed real prayers, and I think we've got to be okay with having that kind of real, raw, kind of authentic relationship with the Lord, and I think he loves it. So I guess I just didn't want it to be like okay, I got Jesus, and everything has been amazing and perfect because it it's been hard, it's been so hard to stuff, yeah. But like you said, I still got peace that passes understanding. Yeah, I've got something that overcomes, overrides every bit of that.

Cassandra 36:26

And I'm so glad you shared that because I remember when I gave my life over to Jesus, I thought everything was gonna be great, and it was for about a month. Then after that, I'm like, wait a minute. It's kind of like what happened, what happened? So you're right, it's everything's not going to be roses, but it'll be better than it was. Yes, that's the thing. Yes, yeah, it'll be better than it was. Oh my gosh, what a blessing you have been on my podcast today, discovering purpose after seasons of brokenness and poor choices. It was my pleasure, my my listeners, like I always say, live in a way that maximizes your personal happiness, your authenticity, even your fulfillment, as opposed to just going through the motions, you know, live in that way and act in alignment with your values, which is important, your well-being, and start pursuing the truth. Start pursuing the truth rather than just dreaming about it, pursue it. Yes, love that. Yeah, so thank you so much. Um, God bless you. Continue to work in your life,

Closing Charge To Pursue Truth

Cassandra 37:47

and um I'm just enamored in response to how your energy has just penetrated through this podcast. Um I am hopeful that somebody will be blessed by what you've heard today. Amen. Me too. Yeah, again, Pat, thank you so much. Thank you. I appreciate it. Yes.