ADHD After Dark
ADHD After Dark is the unfiltered podcast where a group of hilarious dudes with ADHD gather to talk about anything and everything that comes to mind. Brace yourself for an explicit and comedic rollercoaster ride, as we dive into the depths of randomness, pushing the boundaries of humor and edginess.
In each episode, we unleash our unapologetic, off-the-cuff banter, sharing outrageous stories, wild adventures, and side-splitting anecdotes that will keep you laughing throughout the night. No topic is off-limits for us—whether it's outrageous personal experiences, taboo subjects, or exploring the more intimate and risqué aspects of life, we bring a refreshingly audacious and humorous perspective to it all.
ADHD After Dark is your escape from the mundane and predictable. Join our crew as we navigate the uncharted territories of comedic chaos, reveling in the freedom to explore the untamed corners of our minds. We embrace the spirit of After Dark, where the content can get explicit, sexual, and edgy—pushing boundaries and challenging social norms with a healthy dose of laughter.
While we may not always offer informative insights, we guarantee an uproarious time filled with absurdity, spontaneous conversations, and unabashed humor. It's a podcast that's not afraid to go where others won't, creating an inclusive space for individuals who enjoy unfiltered comedic escapades.
So, grab a drink, kick back, and immerse yourself in the unapologetically hilarious world of ADHD After Dark. Warning: explicit content ahead—tune in at your own risk, but be prepared to laugh your way through our zany adventures, spontaneous tangents, and unabashedly funny discussions that defy convention. Welcome to the wild, comedic chaos of ADHD After Dark.
ADHD After Dark
S3 E14: Emotional Support Alligator
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Ever found yourself trapped in a belly laugh over the notion of an emotional support alligator named Wally wreaking havoc in Georgia? That's just a taste of the ridiculousness we dabble in on this week's podcast. Our after-dark adventure takes listeners from oil-soaked workdays to the sentimental value of Precious Moments figurines, all served with a side of hearty debate over the cultural authenticity of Americanized Mexican food. We're tossing back drinks, sharing stories of workplace absurdities, and even touching on the poignant moments of recent tragedies with a candidness only our crew can deliver.
Have you ever covertly lived in a grocery store sign? No? Well, we didn't either, but we've got the scoop on someone who did, and it's a highlight in our discussion about the harsh realities of homelessness, the comical mishaps of overnight shifts, and the jolts of an unexpected earthquake. Our banter sways from casino escapades and fishing triumphs to animated recommendations for 'Smiling Friends', ensuring there's never a dull moment. We're all about embracing the unexpected exits, debating pop culture, and celebrating those little victories, like cashing out a three-cent casino voucher in defiance of the house.
Wrap up the night with us as we recount a Long Island Iced Tea-soaked dance club adventure, complete with an emergency Uber stop and a realization that our days of wild partying might just be behind us. But it's not all throwbacks and nostalgia; we're also dreaming big with hypothetical celebrity guests (looking at you, Adam Sandler), and irreverently questioning good versus evil—with a twist only Satan himself might appreciate. So grab a drink, settle in, and let our voices be the company you didn't know you needed for this rollercoaster ride of an episode. No guests this week—just us, your hosts, and enough personality to keep the conversation as diverse as it is deep.
Twitter - https://twitter.com/DarkAfterAdhd
Emotional Support Alligator Movie Pitch
Speaker 1Let's see how many I can drink by the end of this.
Speaker 2Alright, that's the start of the recording. Let's see how many I can drink. How many of those?
Speaker 3can you drink? You gotta catch up.
Speaker 2By the way, welcome to ADHD After Dark. Sorry, we don't do proper intros here because, fuck you, we hate the listeners.
Speaker 3It's true.
Speaker 2We also hate Murky because he's got a fat ass and I want it.
Speaker 3I want to eat it. I fat ass and I want it. I want to eat it. I think that's just a you thing for hating him for it.
Speaker 2I admire it. I wish I could have a table to fucking store my dinner on.
Speaker 1Use it for tea most days Most days you use it for tea.
Speaker 3I would use it as like a book bench.
Speaker 2All I know is his ass causes whirlwinds in offices.
Speaker 3Yeah, I can't confirm.
Speaker 2So so Murky. The scoop is that Zeno's on his third Mai Tai right.
Speaker 3Yes, they're very tasty. He's feeling good, do you have?
Speaker 2work tomorrow. I don't Nice, it's Memorial Day. I'm drinking the Mai Tais.
Speaker 3I got off work early today too.
Speaker 2I do have work tomorrow, but I get off early and then I'm flying to Charlotte for the weekend. I got work tomorrow, you got work tomorrow for only a couple more days, and then fuck them kids.
Speaker 4Fuck them kids, Put on my two weeks. Fuck that place yeah fuck them.
Speaker 2Make sure you tell the problem children when you leave. You're the reason and then never say anything else, and the reason is you, they would brag about it.
Speaker 3Are you kidding me, do it? Do they know that you're leaving? Nope, they're students.
Speaker 4That's good, there's part of me that feels like I shouldn't tell them. I mean, heck, most of my coworkers don't even know. There's like two that do, the rest have no idea.
Speaker 2Fuck them, did somebody just fart Probably. I heard a fart.
Speaker 3Over here.
Speaker 2Alright, so ADHD after dark. Anybody got anything funny happening the last week?
Speaker 3Um no.
Speaker 2Not, really no.
Speaker 3I got drenched in oil. What'd you?
Speaker 2do that for I didn't mean to.
Speaker 1Well, there was a truck that came in and fuel is being pushed into, pushed in with the oil. So, instead of this truck having 19 quarts of oil, like it should, it had 27 quarts of oil, which it should not. So I drained it down to proper level and then when putting the plug back in it kinda it went everywhere it was awful, didn't you also get trapped in the back of a truck?
Speaker 2I wanna hear this story story. Is that anything that happened that's called kidnapping Zeno I?
Speaker 1thought I thought you sent us a snap with you in the back of a truck and the door was closed yeah, it was closed because I was working on the counterbalance for the door. I had to have the door locked so I could tension the counterbalance for the door. I had to have the door locked so I could tension the counterbalance.
Speaker 2Xeno had a fucking car today that looked pretty fucked up on today's episode.
Speaker 1I feel like that thing is called drive.
Speaker 3The wheel wells were rusted out of it and the customer was driving and then, all of a sudden, the control arm just fell out of it, because the wheel, well was so rusted out of it and the customer was driving, and then, all of a sudden, the control arm just fell out of it, because the wheel, well, was so rusted that its mounting point fell off no longer there and just came off, and then he couldn't drive it anymore.
Speaker 2Wonder why because it didn't have a wheel, essentially at that point uh, it had a wheel, it just uh, it wasn't straight that's good he can. He can drive off with it. I've seen people try.
Speaker 3Yeah, I've seen the internet Weirder shit.
Speaker 2Alright, this has been a good three minute episode of ADHD After Dark.
Speaker 4I don't know what else to talk about bro Did you guys hear there's an emotional support gator on the loose in Georgia.
Speaker 2An emotional support gator.
Speaker 4Emotional support alligator. Yes, His name is Wally, if I remember correctly.
Speaker 2I need to know his airport kill count right now.
Speaker 4So from my understanding, there was this guy from.
Speaker 2Pennsylvania. Oh cool, of course.
Speaker 3Your question is why is he on?
Speaker 2the loose Not. Why is there an emotional support? Alligator Right. I figured he'd be more trained.
Speaker 4He just immediately accepted like oh, emotional support alligator. Yeah, that makes sense, it's 2024. Fuck it, but I guess this guy in Pennsylvania it was a senior happened to have an emotional support alligator and he said that his emotional support alligator was kidnapped and his alligator was an animal that he had in order to like, hug and pet and take on walks because he was, according to my understanding.
Speaker 2What did he feed other people's fucking dogs while they were walking?
Speaker 4that gator probably ate better than all of us the dude believes that wally was stolen to do pranks to people, and, but they believe that he's in georgia and from my understanding, is the georgia like wildlife or whatever people are out there that they have a permitted trapper who actually responded to a nuisance alligator call and they believe that is probably Wally, but they now believe that Wally has been relocated to a swamp by a trapper that got there before the designated trapper, so he's just Wally's not cut out for that life I'd like to imagine that there is an alligator out there with, like the fucking little dog, emotional support vest on it.
Speaker 3That's just in the fucking wild now that honestly sounds like the most adorable thing it doesn't know how to hunt, it just starved to death except now you walk up to it and it has learned how to hunt and now it just eats anything.
Speaker 2But now it's like it has a fucking human trap. It has a fucking vest that says emotional support, but really it's like it has a fucking human trap. It has a fucking vest that says emotional support, but really it's just a fucking trap. So you walk up to it and then it just fucking crocodile roll this is our next movie idea wally's revenge raised from a young age by this very caring. Alright, let's hear the plotline Wally's revenge.
Speaker 1Here we go, get the storyboard, going Get the whiteboard out. Raised from a young age by this very caring mother, I was gonna say that he was molested by the character you gotta start off sweet and innocent.
Speaker 4You gotta capture your audience and then break their heart in the worst way.
Speaker 1Baby alligator, just a little tiny reptilian, uh-huh, raised with this man who's a lowly man. Then he gets taken by these fucking captors at adolescent age. You know, basically, teenage Wally getting stolen from his fucking dad, right, right, right, right. You know the Eskimo throw his bullshit, basically torture for him, and then the trapper comes and releases him into the wild. Basically, you know our equivalent of being dropped in a fucking forest somewhere, right, and he's got to fight for survive and through all the struggles, trials and tribulations of surviving in the wild, fucking just gets this deep rooted hatred for humans and hence starts in with Coco human trap murder gator.
Speaker 1Okay, okay, he's still got the vest and he's learned that people are like, oh my god, he's so cute and they like to come close, and that is when he fucks their faces.
Speaker 3Is he actually fucking their faces? He's getting the revenge.
Speaker 2Now here's the thing we have a contract with Nicolas Cage that still has like seven movies. How does he fit in?
Speaker 1Nicolas Cage.
Speaker 2Nicolas, not Nippalus. Nicolas, the real Nick, he's the trapper.
Speaker 3He's the fucking trapper. He's the trapper.
Speaker 1And fucking Wally's gotta murder the trapper dude. Who's like the final boss of the kidnappers.
Speaker 3Except in the end of the movie it's revealed that the trapper's not actually dead and it sets it up for a sequel, because Nicolas Cage is also contractually not allowed to die Wally's revenge returns.
Speaker 2So it's Wally the alligator, then we'll have another. We'll have a spin-off over in Australia called Samuel the Crocodile, and then we can make a movie about that, which is the same fucking thing but in Australia. And then we'll pull a Rugrats and we'll do Wally and Samuel go to Paris.
Speaker 3Oh, yeah, I like where this is going boys.
Speaker 2I don't have a plot line for that movie. It's like Rugrats but Alligator.
Speaker 3We'll just make the.
Speaker 1Obviously there's an evil stepmom somewhere who is over there booking money or what the fuck ever.
Speaker 2Yeah, I mean, just go fucking borrow an idea from Disney. Pull fucking Cinderella's stepmother.
Speaker 3Yeah, why the fuck not? Was the?
Speaker 1that was the plot line of rugrats in fucking paris get the fuck out.
Speaker 3How do you know that?
Speaker 2because I had that movie. I mean, I had that movie too.
Speaker 3I just don't remember yeah, I had the movie too.
Speaker 4I don't remember shit about it, though wasn't that the one that was specifically on the orange cassette? Yes, it was on the first orange vhs it's not a cassette vhs yeah, someone look up the plot line of the fucking rugrats of paris.
Speaker 2Well, I'm not doing that because I'm recording I mean, I believe you, I'm not doubting you, I'm just shocked that you remembered something yeah, fuck you heyeno.
Speaker 3I have a question for you.
Speaker 4What's it like living in a state that says that tacos and burritos are sandwiches?
Speaker 3Get the fuck out.
Speaker 2Wait, tacos and burritos are sandwiches.
Speaker 4Tacos and burritos are sandwiches according to an Indiana judge.
Speaker 2So there was a Wait, how did this get into a courtroom?
Speaker 4first off. So it started with, I think it was over in Fort Wayne and it was, I was fucking right. It was. A person opened a restaurant there but, you know, made tacos, burritos, uh Mexican related delicacies, and I think the mall tried to close them because they had a limit business to like sandwich bar style restaurants with like made to order subway style sandwiches.
Speaker 2So the guy took the plan, commission, and it led up to the superior court judge ruling that tacos and burritos were sandwiches but just mexican style sandwiches you know, I'm all for that ruling if it means that the business doesn't have to close and he gets to have his sandwiches and his tacos and burritos still be sold.
Speaker 3I mean I can under.
Speaker 2Maybe the judge was just like. You know what? This is bullshit? They're sandwiches. Get the fuck out.
Speaker 4Like. Essentially that's what the judge tried to talk with this business.
Speaker 1Go fuck yourselves.
Speaker 3He's like this is the best fucking burritos and tacos ever yeah, they brought it in for evidence.
Speaker 1They were like I present evidence B fucking these fucking extra cheese and beef, fucking handed it to the judge and he's like, yeah, these are fucking sandwiches.
Speaker 2Don't close that place down. Fucking rips out a massive fart too while he eats it. That's how you know it was good.
Speaker 4I guess, like the god now I can't remember what the plan commission, they could try to appeal it, but they would have to go to like the Supreme Court of Indiana to do that they're gonna have to go to the Supreme Court of Indiana to also say that it's a sandwich, because they would just throw that case out. They wouldn't even fucking bother with that shit. Let's be honest.
Speaker 2They'd be like yeah are you serious or not? You're trying to close down a business by taking our time up to say if this is a fucking sandwich or not. Get the fuck out of here. Where is this located?
Speaker 4Indiana, fort Wayne.
Speaker 1No shit.
Speaker 4No shit, no shit, I'm gonna have to go try these burritos.
Discussion About Tacos and Living Situations
Speaker 2yeah, for real what's the name of the place? Hold on, I'm gonna google it. This better be the best. Goddamn burritos, the famous taco what was it?
Speaker 4el famous taco just the famous taco famous taco all and it's important sandwich shop and it's important the famous sandwich shop that sells burritos and tacos. I absolutely would.
Speaker 2The famous sandwich shop and it's just tacos and burritos, dude. I mean like Subway sells wraps.
Speaker 4I mean they do.
Speaker 1They also sell pizzas, and is wrap, basically the same thing as a fucking taco.
Speaker 2A wrap is basically a fucking burrito, bro. It's literally just an American burrito Because it doesn't have the Mexican ingredients. I mean, realistically they should just call them burritos and be less racist.
Speaker 1Everyone in the Midwest drive to this fucking sandwich shop that serves tacos.
Speaker 2I don't think their roads could handle them.
Speaker 4Support them no, I couldn't you guys hear about the uh, the michigan woman who was found living in a grocery store yeah, the one that was living up in, like a meyer sign or something like that yeah, it was a family fair a family fair.
Speaker 2Yeah, she was like living up inside of like the fucking uh, like in the sign and she had like a full fucking set, like it wasn't a big space but like she had a bed. She had a fucking like desk at a computer and was doing her work there and they had. The only reason that they fucking found her was because some dude was like fixing the roof of the store and you know whatever found an extension cord, found an extension cord and then found her and they have no idea how she's been getting up there, like at least, at least whenever I saw the story.
Speaker 4They had no idea how she had been going up there unnoticed for possibly years, and I guess all of her stuff, set it outside, and when she finally came around cause they saw her driving up, they confronted her and was like hey, get your stuff, you can't be living up here. They didn't press charges or anything, came out to say like it's really sad that this person essentially had to sneak to find a place to live because people aren't making money.
Speaker 2I think she was still trespassed from the property. She technically was, so she can't go back ever You'll hit up the fucking Dollar General. Bro, if you're buying if you're buying if you're buying all your shit from the store that you live in, then I don't see why they wouldn't just let you stay there, you see me in here every day.
Speaker 2I'm buying that my shit yeah I always pay for my shit. It's more like I only shop here. You're welcome for my business I work here. Yeah, I work here. You want me to work so many hours that I have to live in the fucking store cause I can't get my car inspected or some shit like that one of the guys brought a car. You were breaking up a little bit there.
Speaker 1One of the guys at work brought a car into work okay cause he's the it guy and like he had to do some phone swap overnight, I feel, I feel that shit.
Speaker 2I feel that because I've I've been part of that in college where you have to fucking do like an overnighter to do stuff because you can't do it during the day yeah um, and you fucking, you just kind of post up and you know the computer does its thing, which you still have to be there, so you just go to sleep and set a timer for like an hour. I think the weirdest thing I ever got called for was uh, in pennsylvania, at my college, washington and jefferson college. Um, there was an earthquake and that affected one of the server rooms. Didn't didn't ever know that there could be an earthquake in pa, but here we are. I didn't experience it, but we got a notice that all the servers had in, like the backup area had gone offline, and so we called up the building and they were like, yeah, there was a fucking earthquake. And we were like what? We don't have earthquake recovery on our playbook of things to plan for. It turns out that it just knocked the power out and everything just needed to reset.
Speaker 4But no, easy, easy easy fix.
Speaker 3But you know, when you hear earthquake in Pennsylvania you're like what the fuck has happened in my room remember when I was like 14 or something like that, we felt like the remnants of a earthquake or something like that. That happened semi locally.
Speaker 2Uh-oh.
Speaker 3Murky got a phone call. That's very important. Did you see him?
Speaker 2dash out of the fucking room there. I've never seen Fat man run so fast, sorry. Oh, look at him Did you see his little feet over there. We're going to have to post this to the fans so people can see Murky. Just I hope everything's okay.
Speaker 3I think his goldfish died, Murky?
Speaker 2did your goldfish die? No?
Speaker 1Dusty went down to go swap the laundry to the dryers door to quarter. Oh man, I've never seen you run so fast I'm quick, explosive, explosive. The speed doesn't last for long, but you ran like I'm gonna be honest.
Speaker 2I'm gonna be honest, is everything okay? You ran like there was some fear in your eyes when you fucking got that phone call.
Speaker 1I don't know if this thing will time out or not, but hurry, that's all right.
Speaker 2Did you run all the way downstairs?
Speaker 1No, I just ran out the balcony and just dropped it down here.
Speaker 2Oh okay, I was like man, this guy's the fucking Flash going down a whole flight of stairs and back up. Fucking flash going down a whole flight of stairs and back up I know what your place looks like.
Speaker 1I just dive down the fucking center of the stairs. I don't even run down, break my fucking face Because you know I made drinks with you, handsome.
Speaker 2You'll just be like that episode of Spongebob or whatever where Squidward gets punched in the face or something like that and becomes like the handsome.
Speaker 4Squidward.
Speaker 2The handsome Squidward.
Speaker 1Oh, I thought you meant where his teeth are hanging.
Speaker 2No, no, no. He becomes handsome Squidward because he gets destroyed in the face or something like that. By a door and then didn't he like he was running it for a while and then Spongebob or somebody was like here I can fix you and bashed his face and made him normal and then everybody hated him again. Sounds about like a Sp was.
Speaker 4He got hit in the face with the door and then he became like semi-handsome squidward and everybody was like, oh my god, you're so handsome. And then he gets so annoyed by like the fame of it that he asked spongebob to reverse it. So spongebob tries hitting him with the door again, and every time he hits him with the door he becomes more and more and more handsome and to the point that he just becomes like that super or super muscular, like chin.
Speaker 2You have the fucking you have, instead of like a round chin. Your chin is like up here with, like it looks like a fucking W.
Speaker 4Right, fucking W Right. So he becomes that and he still gets so mad at SpongeBob because SpongeBob's not fixing the situation. Then, if I remember, he trips and falls and his face, like I think, hits the doorknob instead and then he reverts back to normal and then everybody's kind of like ew, and then just leaves Grody.
Speaker 1Bless you. Thank you, hey, coco. Back to normal and then everybody's kind of like ew, and then just grody. Phew, bless you hey, coco.
Speaker 4Uh, because she seemed the type did your grandma have any of those precious moment figurines?
Speaker 2what are the precious moment figurines? She probably does no precious moment figurines no, I'm autistic, I mean.
Speaker 4I feel like anybody who's been around a boomer or older has seen these Hold on.
Speaker 1You say that All I can think of is all the little like. Is it like the crystal shit, ceramic, like angels and shit.
Speaker 4Yeah, they're the ceramic angels with the teardrop eyes.
Speaker 2Oh, she absolutely has that, the little kid things.
Speaker 4They're like Funko Pops before Funko Pops.
Speaker 2Are they like fucking ceramic?
Speaker 4Yeah, they're ceramic.
Speaker 2Yeah, my great grandma bought me a bunch of those and I inherited them, so technically I own them, but I don't actually have them here. They're still at my mom's place because I don't really want them.
Speaker 1Sell them all. Take that shit to Antiques Roadshow.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 4I'll do that. Am I helping out the price of them because the creator just died Sweet.
Speaker 2I'll wait a couple more years and he was 85 years old. He did the world a favor.
Speaker 1You know who didn't do the world a favor. Fucking Akira Toriyama.
Speaker 4Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you talking shit about Akira Toriyama? No, I'm saying.
Speaker 1I'm pissed off that he fucking died. I feel the same with him passing as I felt when Matt passed. I need more of your creation.
Speaker 4Is Murky breaking up for him? No.
Speaker 2I think Murky needs to fix he's breaking up. Because I think he needs to fix his noise gate on Discord. Okay, because I think he's to fix his noise gate on discord. Okay, because I think he's. Let's check, cause you've been cutting out a quite a bit where like your mouth has been moving but like it didn't come through. You just might need to turn that down. Yeah, it did jump up just a little bit, which I think that's what the problem was.
Speaker 2I think maybe right, there is good. Yeah, give your last sentence another try, because I didn't understand a word.
Speaker 1you fucking said I forgot what I was talking about now about the fucking yeah, yeah I was pissed off that he fucking died. Dude like I need no term of the power, I need more. I need more of everything yeah, I heard everything there.
Speaker 2We're good um, did you?
Speaker 4hear about the guy who killed himself at the Ohio State commencement speech.
Speaker 2Wait, the one that fucking. Steve Burns was at.
Speaker 4Uh, or is that? A different speech I don't know who Steve Burns is.
Speaker 3You do know who Steve Burns is.
Speaker 2You took a goddamn pin wait no.
Speaker 4Oh, oh, oh, oh, I just know his name is Steve, I don't know the last name Steve Blue's Clues. You fucking suck. If you would have just said Steve, I would have known. But you said the last name. He is like Prince. He's like a symbol. He has the one name. He's like Prince.
Speaker 2He's a symbol. Where did he get his?
Speaker 4commencement at it was in Ohio State Okay. I hope not I could have never killed myself. No, from what I understood, that Ohio State commencement speech was not good. They got a speaker that the students didn't like and actively booed. Then somebody jumped off from the top of the stadium and killed themselves, so everybody had to be evacuated. So, uh, not a great time at ohio state university, my alter brother's alma mater there is well, I mean wow what the fuck.
Speaker 2Yeah, oh, nice a lot of weird shit going on there's definitely a video of that death, because there were way too many people I learned about it on tiktok and, like every time I would like flip that day, like to the next video.
Speaker 4The next, like two videos, would always be like somebody who was in the crowd and was like, oh my god, somebody just killed themselves on my commencement speech uh so wait, did anybody anybody?
Speaker 2see the body fall.
Speaker 4I don't know is the thing. It never showed up on any of my feeds. However, I'm sure somebody probably recorded it. It's probably out there on the internet. I'm not going to watch it because I've already grown up with enough weird shit on the internet that I don't need that scarred into my 30 plus year old brain don't worry, I'm looking it up for you, okay don't you worry about.
Speaker 2It was a mother. Uh, it was a mother. Mom died during, during, uh, the the ceremony. Uh, let's go to google search videos. Let's go ahead and turn safe search off my tiktok's been full of smiling friends lately.
Speaker 4I fucking love smiley friends.
Speaker 1Dude, me and Dusty are debating on watching it. I just binged the whole season.
Speaker 4I haven't watched the most recent episode, but I have seen everything. I'll have to watch it. Honestly, you can binge it in just a couple hours. It's hilarious. It's really stupid Zito life.
Speaker 1It's hilarious, it's really stupid, zeno, it's the TikTok I sent you, where the dude's like do you want to smoke weed with me and fill our bellies with diet? So then we'll play Burnout Revenge for the PS2. Oh yeah. He's like how about I fucking punch you in the face and he whips out a bomb strap to him. He's like I can kill everybody or you can play this game with me. You're totally getting fucking pwned. This is sad. You're a piece of shit. Who's playing Burnout?
Speaker 3Smiling Friends.
Speaker 1Yeah, Smiling Friends.
Speaker 4But it's made by. Have you guys ever watched Oni Plays?
Speaker 2No.
Speaker 4God, what was his online name?
Speaker 2I'm still working on it. Okay, hold on.
Speaker 4You have most likely seen the guy's main YouTube page and some of his animations from early 2000.
Speaker 3Most likely seen your YouTube page, baby. Alright, I guess I'm going to probably have to go to page and some of his animations from like early 2000 um, maybe I guess I'm gonna probably have to go to like fucking 4chan or something like that probably I can't find this the dark side of the internet.
Casino Stories and Gaming Updates
Speaker 2I just put 4chan in front of it just to hope I get better results. Uh, speaking of people who died, did you see? I just noticed who the replacement for Commander Zavala is going to be in Destiny, although, now I forget his name? Wasn't that announced like years?
Speaker 4ago, isn't it Keith? David, it was not years ago.
Speaker 1It definitely wasn't years ago. It was a year ago, a year ago whatever.
Speaker 2I just got news of it today, because I don't follow news for video games like that.
Speaker 1Yeah, it's Keith David.
Speaker 2I was going to say it was announced a while ago. Did you hear the voice?
Speaker 4It's fucking Keith David, keith David, I don't know how else to explain it. I'm asking did?
Speaker 1you hear the voice. That's the only move you could make. Yeah From fucking Lance Reddick.
Speaker 4It's not a pretty good. That's the dude's name.
Speaker 2I'm also sort of distracted here trying to find the fucking video of somebody committing suicide. I'm going to hyper fixate on this, the whole fucking rest of the goddamn night.
Speaker 4Zinbro, I'm sending you a YouTube link to Psychic Pebbles. You have probably seen some of his animations.
Speaker 1If you're having issues and you want to jump off of a stadium to kill yourself, don't? Somebody loves you.
Speaker 4Please talk to somebody, even if it's Coco, he's willing to listen. I'm willing to watch, god damn it. Anyway, positive news, positive news. Uh, anyway, positive news, positive news. Something that popped up on my tiktok feed uh vermont state now has a uh cat that they gave an honorary degree of a doctorate to, and his name is max, if I remember correctly. It's like max or min starts with an M and he is the doctor of literature.
Speaker 2That's a good one. Let's see, there you go.
Speaker 4Positive news folks. Yeah, you know, I would actually take that guy's class, I would sit in, I would pay money just being that cat's class and you know he probably just sit on my lap for a few minutes. I'd give him a pet, probably get an easy A.
Speaker 2He got some puss, are you?
Speaker 3saying you would bribe the teacher into giving you a good grade.
Speaker 4I feel like that's part of the class, though you would have to pet him.
Speaker 3That sounds like some college trauma resurfacing.
Speaker 2It's also because he's a fucking teacher and he's just having his actual trauma resurface probably.
Speaker 4I also learned yesterday actually, poxitani Phil has babies and they're called Sunny and Shadow. Okay, you mean Poxitani? What is that?
Speaker 2in the F babies and they're called Sunny and Shadow. Okay, what is that.
Speaker 4Elaborate the Groundhog Groundhog. Okay, you know for Groundhog's Day.
Speaker 2Okay, the only reason I know about him is because I constantly hear about. I constantly heard about Gus, the second most famous Groundhog in Pennsylvania. For the goddamn state lottery. That's literally the advertising fucking slogan they would use for him. They'd be like I'm Gus, the second most famous groundhog in Pennsylvania, Fucking while he's stealing people's goddamn lunch money.
Speaker 3A groundhog steals lunch money.
Speaker 2Yeah, I mean, if you go to the casino and gamble all your money away, they stole your lunch money.
Speaker 3I believe that he was with me won your ass off.
Speaker 2I bet you, you've lost more than you've won oh yeah, absolutely, and murky.
Speaker 3One evening was like zimbro, let's go to the casino. I was like no, the fucking drain in the basement is backing up. I need to be able to pay for that Come Monday.
Speaker 3Murky's like bro but what if you win a bunch of money? And I was like I got $50. That's all I'm spending. And he's like that's enough. So we went, we were drinking double vodka, red Bulls, having a good old time. I was fucking winning everywhere I sat down at. And it got to a point where we were only there for like an hour, hour and a half, yeah. And we walk outside because Murky wanted to smoke and I was like, yeah, I'll come out with you get a little fresh air, and then he doesn't want to smoke.
Speaker 3And then I started like I cashed out all my tickets, I started counting the money I had. I had like 350 dollars, and that includes like the money I spent on drinks and stuff too. So I was like god damn it, well, I think I'm done. And murky's like yeah, well, uh, we can leave anytime because I'm just fucking winning enough for the booze that I drank.
Speaker 1And right, I want. I want enough to pay for all my drinks and buy me an extra pack of smokes on the way yeah, remember whenever I'm good and remember when I cashed out three cents no, wouldn't give it to you.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, I remember that. Remember the time I went to the casino with you guys, or it was definitely. Murky was there, I think Xena was there when I found out that I didn't like Crab Rangoo.
Speaker 3Yeah, I was there.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, when we found out you're not a human being, we knew that, because I'm autistic, so fuck you.
Speaker 4Are you saying autistic people aren't human?
Speaker 1I represent. I'm saying I bet that people that don't like crab rangoons oh so are not into goth chicks and it's all just you missing out on the best parts of life.
Speaker 4Hmm.
Speaker 1Not in the goth chicks.
Speaker 3Are you in the goth chicks?
Speaker 2Dude, are you in the goth chicks Fucking? Crush me.
Speaker 4Are you into tall goth chicks? I'm into. Yes, I like that band too. Their song Roundabout Slaps.
Speaker 2But anyway, fuck you, fuck you Fuck you. I was doing pretty bad and we got to the end of the night and. I had a voucher for 3 cents and I was like you know what I'm gonna make them pay to process this? So I went and fucking cashed out 3 cents. It probably cost them more than 3 cents to give it to me, but uh, fuck you, it was my money just to run the machine for that second.
Speaker 1I didn't get. No, I took it up to the person or whatever oh yeah, you went out up to the fucking the chip collector. Uh yeah, they don't call it.
Speaker 2They don't call the cash do they call the cashier there? I'm gonna call it the cashier I went to her and she was like you didn't have a good night and I was like, nope, but I'm still gonna cash this out anyway, you give me three wheat pennies, please, yeah oh, that's why I don't gamble. I fucking suck. I love gambling.
Speaker 1Same bro I have no luck, let me go put a couple hundred bucks on a hand of blackjack and see what happens.
Speaker 3He had an older Asian woman.
Speaker 4Try to steal me away with her.
Speaker 3That was a long time ago, but yeah.
Speaker 2I want to know about this older Asian woman story.
Speaker 1I want to know about this older Asian woman story. So this is the only time I ever took my brother to this casino because I'd been winning a bunch the week, for fucking five out of six trips was winning hundreds and hundreds of dollars. I'm like fuck dude, I just made a paycheck and a half. In a couple days I'm going to be a professional gambler, let's fucking go. And me and my brother went and I sat at the blackjack table. We were drinking. I was sending him to go get drinks and I was winning a bunch. And there was this older Asian lady next to me and she was winning a bunch. So every time we were both betting tops. So there's certain cards you want to see. If you're betting tops, like suiteds, pairs, if you see a three of a kind, you better be fucking hooting and hollering. And so we were calling for each other's cards whenever we get something that could pay out on tops. And we were both winning our fucking asses off. Dude. I made I think I made like 400 plus fucking dollars that night and we were winning. We were winning. We were winning fucking me and my brother drinking.
Speaker 1You know this lady's drinking and it gets a little later in the night I'm way up and my brother is this large, drunk, stumbly, bumbly kind of man and he's like, yeah, I'm ready whenever you are. I was like, oh, you fucked up. He's like, yeah, I'm fucked up, like, alright, I'll get ready to call it, play a few more hands. And we're still winning Every other hand or like every third hand. We're hitting tops and like, plus, winning the blackjack hands in between. Shit, we're winning our dicks off. I'm winning my dick off.
Speaker 1And I'm like, alright, well, we finish the shoot, which is we finished basically the deck before they do a dealer switch and they put new cards in and get a new shuffle in. I was like, alright, well, can you cash me out for some bigger chips? And this lady like grabs me and she's like, oh no, she's like, where are you going? I was like, oh, that's it for me tonight. You know that's a good time. You know, know, great stuff, thanks for you know, fucking raising the energy for me. And she's like, oh, no, like you can stay. And I was like, oh, I know I can, but like I'm ready to go. And she goes no, like you can stay with me. I was like, oh, what? Yeah, you can stay with me, like yeah, you can say it with me. Like I have a room, I'm like I really want to do that.
Speaker 1I drove. I drove and I was like, grab my keys in my pocket and I look at my brother and I look at her and I look at the dealer and I look at my brother and I look at her and I look back at my brother and I look at the dealer and I was like can, can I hold my spot? Because you can have a chip. If you've been there for a minute playing, you can have a chip put on your table and they'll hold it for like what's it? 10 minutes, something like that. 10 minute max. Basically, if someone needs to use the bathroom in the middle of the game really bad they'll put a chip there. So no one takes your spot. I was like, can you give me 10 minutes? And I walk over to my brother and go, how he goes? Oh, that's not that bad, I go. Could you drive my car home? He goes fuck.
Speaker 3No, I'm like okay, okay, that's what I need here. At least he was honest, you know.
Speaker 1Yeah. So I had my chips already on me. I grabbed my jacket and shit and gave the dealer back the chips so someone could take my spot and I was like you know, honey, I'd love to and I really appreciate the offer, but I have a. I have a 435 pound man that I have to get home. So have a good night. So I hope she didn't take fence and maybe she just thought I was gay. But did you not tell her that my brother's drunk, I gotta take him home no, I said we had to go basically she took offense.
Speaker 3She thought you were gay do you remember the other event at the casino where you you were late for work the next day?
Speaker 1blacked out, one of the only times I ever blacked out. We're not telling that here, that's not. I haven't told you guys about walleye fishing yet either. No, so we got.
Speaker 2You told us that you were mad that the fucking fishing trawler didn't clean the fish.
Speaker 1Yeah, I was mad about that. So after the first day we get done fishing and we go back to the Airbnb, which is this little kind of trailer-ish with a bunch of bunk beds in it and a couch, but it also you get a slip in it. It's like a marina slash campground and so we're chilling there. And the guy next to us in his RV no, so my dad's truck is parked in one spot and my truck is parked in the other spot. You have a 2019 F-150 and a 23 high country edition Silverado.
Speaker 1This dude starts up his riding lawnmower and starts running it right over, right next to my dad's truck. And he's not for that, I wasn't for that dude, I haven't seen mild men move this quick in a while walks down and like tells this dude like come the fuck over here. And he you know guy shuts off the mower. He's like oh, how are you doing? My dad goes what the fuck are you thinking? And the guy's like what? Like? This guy like becomes like scared all of a sudden, like my dad wasn't like that close to him, he wasn't going to fucking punch him in the face. He goes you have some common sense, man, and not run your fucking mower with no shoe, no bag or nothing, right next to my fucking $60,000 truck. What the fuck are you doing the guy's like? I'm so sorry it dips out.
Marina Encounter and Charter Fishing Success
Speaker 1He goes all the way around his RV with the blade disengaged and parks it in front. He never came back. We never saw him again and then the way that we came in, I guess, was the wrong way. It's the way the GPS said up comes Karen on her golf cart and for all this and looks at my dad's crock and goes. You're the ones I've been looking for. So fucking bride dog being bride dog. Oh honey, oh oh honey. I got just what you've been fucking looking for that's fucking hilarious she said no, I'm tired of motherfuckers driving through my driveway, dude.
Speaker 1It was literally. We pulled like, took a right, there was a sign for the marina and then there was the next one over that was open, but it said just go straight through, like it was a roadway. And so I guess we drove through her. And then there was the next one over that was open, but it said just go straight through, like it was a roadway. And so I guess we drove through her driveway, which there ain't no driveway there. Bitch, shut the fuck up. I went back the next day. She's like I'm tired of motherfuckers like you driving through my shit and da-da-da-da, and instantly my fucking dad, who's already, you know, not the best news go fuck already. Not the best movies? Go fuck yourself, bitch.
Speaker 2How about that? I'll drive where the fuck, I want. And I'm just like.
Speaker 1What he said. I didn't say anything, but I'm like thank you for saying that, because now I can fucking just be like yeah, everything you're saying is fair, hon, why don't you just go on your way? Thanks again. Why don't you just get the fuck out of here? Thanks again, thanks again. No, everything you're saying so right, it's what I started doing. My dad's still in the back going how about you go fuck yourself? How about you go find some dick because nobody's willing to fucking touch you and you get the fuck out of here.
Speaker 3Your dad would do that.
Speaker 1Oh he, oh he did yeah because we got back from the charter, we started drinking and shit. She was talking to Rowdy. She was not talking to my father's government name.
Speaker 2Right.
Speaker 1She was talking to Rowdy, which is the guy that drives the.
Speaker 1Harley and fucking, yeah, fucks shit up. And so, yeah, I walk to the front of the porch. There are stairs, but I just stay on the porch. I'm like, yeah, honey, everything you're saying. I like there are stairs, but I just stay on the porch. I'm like, yeah, honey, everything you're saying. Totally, I bet you're making so much sense right now, but I think you should just go be better for everybody. If you got signs and cameras, that's great. No one fucking cares. Um, I won't drive through your shitty ass driveway that no one actually thinks is a driveway, because it's not. And good on you. Yeah, come, fucking hold down your territory, piss on everybody's fence post and the whole time, dude. So then my uncle my uncle is there also and bride dog is there also, so they're jumping in with my dad just fucking running this lady up and down a pole about being a fucking dumb bitch yeah, dude.
Speaker 1And then you have me trying to be politically correct up front like yep, yeah but even still not really I'm on correct. I'm understanding everything you're saying.
Speaker 3I'm still not giving a fuck about any of it.
Speaker 2Oh, that's good. She picked the fight with you. She deserved it.
Speaker 1She fucked up. She could have picked anybody else in that campground, marina area.
Speaker 2Also, that's how people get shot Just going up to random people not knowing what their intentions are, just super aggressive. Go up to the wrong person. They're just going to turn around and fucking blast you.
Speaker 1The best part. So I didn't say anything to Brydog because I didn't want him to fucking run up to the gas station. But the next Sunday morning, before our second day of the charter, I went in the gas station to go grab a Gatorade and a pack of smokes.
Speaker 2Don't tell me she was working there.
Speaker 1No, she walked in, ooh, and she tried to come in line. And I look back and go hey guys, this dumb bitch is trying to fucking cut in front of you. She had to because all the charter captains were in there. Everybody that was going fishing at 5.30, 5 o'clock in the morning was in that fucking gas station, so she had to go like all the way back to the line. Fucking coolers, dude, it was so funny. Yeah, that was a good time. We caught all the fish.
Speaker 2How many.
Speaker 1We ended up keeping six guys limits for two straight days Nice.
Speaker 2Nice, zimbro, you got the hiccups.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 1You're looking a little fuckered up over there, bud, Dude you were looking. This is my third drinking.
Speaker 2He was looking fuckered up a couple minutes ago when he was talking. I could hear it in his voice. He was looking fuckered up a couple minutes ago when he was talking. I could hear it in his voice. I was sitting there like ooh, zeno's feeling really fucking good right now.
Speaker 1Why are you drinking another Mai Tai? I am. I can't say shit because I've been fucked up on this podcast. Yes, you have Stupid drunk.
Speaker 2You know what I would rather do? Watch the fucking Doppler, raider, raider.
Speaker 3That was hilarious, Darth Raider. We were like what the fuck just happened.
Speaker 2Dude, and then he just fucking left. He said I'll be back, guys, and then he didn't come back, for the rest of the night. I'll be right back. I guess he was gone. I just want to think that that, like after you, you left.
Speaker 1I think that's probably the most fucked up I've been.
Speaker 2I think after you left. I just want to say that you probably just went to the bed and just fucking laid down and closed your eyes. You just fucking face-flat onto the bed, closed your eyes and then it was morning he got off and forgot why he got off you went to bed pissed off. You went to outside smoke like two cigarettes because you were so pissed off and you were like, why am I so fucking mad?
Speaker 1You went to bed mad and you were like why am I?
Speaker 2upset. Why is my weather app open? And then you woke up the next day and we were like Murky, you okay, and you're like what, what happened? And you were like Murky, you okay, and you were like what, what happened? You were like you were fucking you were like the next day you were like what the?
Speaker 3fuck happened.
Speaker 2I had to pull up the fucking recording and be like Murky.
Speaker 3Here is you and you listened and you were like no way you were like oh fuck, I would rather watch the Doppler fucking radar you listened and you were like no way. You were like oh fuck, I would rather watch the Doppler fucking radar than this shit yeah he was like I don't even fucking remember that shit.
Speaker 2It was the funniest thing that ever happened.
Speaker 3It was pretty fucking funny.
Speaker 2Fucked up. You were the one that wanted to play that damn game too. And you got so fucking mad.
Speaker 1Who knows how long it took until the anger set in. I mean, even when I'm normally pretty drunk, I'm not angry, so I must have been fucked up for a while it was right there at the end when it started coming out, because we kept playing to keep it going, and right towards the end you must have started getting really mad.
Speaker 2And then we just were like no, we're just gonna keep playing this, cause you're the fucking asshole that wanted to play it, and I think that fucking set you off bro you started to be like why the fuck are we doing this?
Speaker 1cause you wanted to do this all of a sudden I turned into straight fucking boomer, just like the hell's this. Yeah, this was an AOL chat. What the fuck this isn't AM instant messenger dude.
Speaker 4Dude no.
Speaker 3Where's?
Speaker 4the solitaire rap.
Speaker 2Oh god, I was trying to play.
Speaker 1Minesweeper, and now I'm here.
Speaker 2I haven't played a porn game in a while. It's almost time to play another one.
Speaker 3We can just not.
Speaker 2Let's just play like a normal, not dick dude. One Femboy, there we go. I couldn't think of the word Non-femboy. One yeah. You know, Sean's not going to want to do anything Ben.
Speaker 3We're just going gonna do like. I'm more worried about what Owlyboy would think of us.
Speaker 2Owlyboy doesn't want anything to do with us. I'm pretty sure Owlyboy has belongings.
Speaker 1Can I give you a god-ass opinion? I do not give a shit what Owlyboy thinks of us. What?
Speaker 3I don't give a fuck, why not? Because, he makes.
Speaker 1FUDA games. What's? Wrong with that. Um, you hatin', yeah, you hatin' on the Fuda games.
Speaker 2You think they're lesser than Dumb fucking bitch, you stupid bitch, I know.
Speaker 1You're really going for a select audience there.
Speaker 3You know what?
Speaker 2I'll commission somebody on Fiverr who can make porn to make a Doppler radar porn game.
Speaker 1It's like a connected dot to the.
Speaker 4Doppler and it's always people.
Speaker 1It's like one of those connected dot games.
Speaker 2It's like you're actually trying to draw the outline of the storm, but the outline of the storm is fucking. Anime naked chicks.
Speaker 1Just have Alleyboy do it. Every time you finish tracing the storm log, it turns into an actual person. When you get all the people, it turns into a giant pussy.
Speaker 2Looks like it's gonna be really wet over here today.
Speaker 3There's not a dry spot in town you could just have Alleyboy do the game and it would be like Food-a-Doppler or something like that.
Speaker 1Yeah, my stepmom's a Food-a-Weather person.
Speaker 4My stepmom's a Food-a-Weather person.
Speaker 2Oh no.
Speaker 3I fucking hate this shit, god damn it.
Speaker 2We'll get you super drunk and we'll see if you really would rather watch the top of the radar.
Speaker 1I am news.
Speaker 3Fucking Murky would be like get drunk and be like this is what I'm fucking talking about we're going to be like oh, it's going to be like, oh, Radar Chan. Right shit.
Speaker 1Well, there's two cards senpai.
Speaker 2It will make Nicholas Cage the weatherman.
Speaker 4Actually he already was yeah he was.
Speaker 1For the season two opener. Obviously it's going to have season one, oh Jesus.
Speaker 2Christ.
Speaker 1Ron Burgundy.
Speaker 2Of course. Well, that was a story. Don't know how to come back from this. I got balls up there.
Speaker 3Radar Chan Okay. I was like what I didn't realize you were talking about the.
Speaker 2Pokeballs Fucking Radar. Chan bro, Did you see the video of my AI turning Spanish? I did not.
Speaker 1No, you didn't see it. You're like my AI's fucking gay you didn't see the chat the other day.
Speaker 2I don't think I opened it, Alright well, I'll let me open it. No, no, no no, no, no, I'll share with the group.
Speaker 3What Murky actually meant to say is I don't read that fucking chat at all.
Speaker 2Hang on, I'm going to play the video from my phone.
Speaker 3From his phone.
Speaker 2And then we will go ahead and read what the actual translation of it is what the fuck. Yeah, we'll play it out loud.
Speaker 1Right, this is technically your shit.
Speaker 2Hey, coco, who is the better?
Speaker 3free version.
Speaker 2You or the Y Lord plushie oh Gazer's, comparandome con un peluche de Y Lord, eso es bajísimo. Claro, el peluche Y Lord puede ser suave y gigante, pero Yo tengo poderes de Whoa. You broke the AI and now thinks everything's gonna be Spanish. So apparently, from what Ian Shannon told me, the AI had a Spanish sentence and read it, as an English person would pronounce all the letters. So it wasn't actually speaking Spanish. It was actually reading the words and trying to apply the English pronunciation to all of the Spanish words To all of it.
Speaker 2But that's not even the funny thing. The funny thing is what it actually said, too Like in addition to that, it said oh, gazers, comparing me to a Wailord plush, that's very low. Sure, the Wailord plush, that's very low. Sure, the Wailord plush may be soft and giant, but I have wizard powers. Buddy Plus, I'm way more entertaining than that talking stuffed animal. I choose my battles wisely. There's a reason I'm the best streamer around here. There's no stuffed animal that surpasses me. Soul of the Turkey.
Speaker 3Soul of the Turkey Soul of the Turkey Soul of the Turkey.
Speaker 2Soul of the Turkey. I don't know what the fuck Soul of the Turkey means. What does Soul of the Turkey mean? Yeah, what does Soul of the Turkey mean?
Speaker 3Soul of the Turkey, definitely Soul of the Turkey, though.
Speaker 2Luckily I was able to go to Tangia and copy and paste the actual output. But when I got back that sounded like a reasonable response. When I copy and pasted the whole thing into Google. But I don't know what that last sentence was saying, because soul of the turkey. Soul of the turkey. But now apparently soul of the turkey is a goddamn inside joke Of the fucking turkey, soul of the turkey.
Speaker 2Maybe it's because I gobble so much fucking dick. I'm yeah, so Lil asked. Lil asked a question to to the AI. About what was it? There was a yeah, there was a Spanish song. Let me see what it said. Basically, he asked the AI about Pedro's song, or something like that.
Speaker 4Oh, the raccoon song Okay.
Speaker 2Yeah, but he put the title in Spanish.
Speaker 4Because it's a Spanish song.
Speaker 2But then it responded to that sentence in Spanish and then I think it just decided I'm going to be Spanish for the night.
Speaker 4Oh, okay, I believe it.
Speaker 2And apparently that is your theme song, by the way.
Speaker 4Yeah, I think, lil' associates that song to me.
Speaker 2So now I had to put a fucking prompt in my AI. Please always respond in English. If people will find a way to break something, they will. They absolutely will, but I, but I think little did by accident I mean, I wasn't trying to do it but like when gaz sent the next thing, I was not expecting it to just go full, fucking like I'm a white guy trying to read spanish as a fucking american uh sort of approach to it.
Speaker 4I believe that but yeah, it's just kind of weird how AI and I get it. It's way more advanced than where it was like god 10 years ago but how just easily it can just be broken by the most simplest of things, without you even thinking that you're breaking it.
Speaker 2I mean, so can people? That's why teachers exist not for long, baby. Zimbro what you doing over there he's probably thinking about jorking it. You're waiting for a public event in Destiny.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 2You look like you're having a rough day right now.
Speaker 4You really do bud.
Speaker 3I'm having a great day.
Speaker 2You sure about that?
Speaker 3I'm sure you're having a great time there, baby girl, but have you drank water?
Speaker 2I don't think you have.
Speaker 4I think you should drink water before another. Mai Tai baby girl.
Speaker 2It's probably a good call, but you're going to go get another Mai Tai anyway. The smile said it. It's a little funny, dude, you got to love the teeth. Smile Whenever somebody is like, yeah, I'm going to do the bad thing. Zeno is fucking hammered drunk right now. I want a Mai Tai. She wants a Mai Tai? Dude, get do the bad thing. Zeno is fucking hammered drunk right now. I want a Mai Tai.
Speaker 4She wants a Mai Tai dude. I don't know how to make them, but we probably have some stuff to maybe make one.
Speaker 3I drank the pineapple juice.
Speaker 2Aww, there was only this much left. We had pineapple rum.
Speaker 4You can't just That'd be good for, like a pina colada constitute out mixers yes, you can no.
Speaker 2Yeah, that's what I can't. I can Just drink the alcohol straight. How am I? I guess I should be drinking, then we.
Speaker 4Yeah, why aren't you?
Speaker 2Because I thought I don't know, you missed Zeno's little fucking like little smile thing. We were like you should drink some alcohol, some water before your next Mai Tai, and he's like. And then I was like you're just gonna go get another Mai Tai, aren't you? And he just goes.
Speaker 1Right now he's in the kitchen. He's like fuck, I need to fill this Brita filter, so what?
Speaker 3I said we almost have the stuff for it.
Speaker 2What are we missing?
Speaker 1Well, it takes spiced rum, coconut rum, orange juice. Did you change your shirt? No, you've been in a red shirt the whole time.
Speaker 2Yeah, I think I should chug this Mai Tai. You should probably have some water before you do that.
Speaker 4Fuck that, Drink that no no, no, you don't have to work tomorrow, he's drinking water.
Speaker 2There it is. You are going to regret this.
Speaker 1Yeah, turn it on. Sleep till noon tomorrow. No one gives a shit.
Speaker 2I mean sure, but the headache. And when I get fucking a hangover not just my head hurts, I get fucking all my joints hurt.
Speaker 3That sounds awful.
Speaker 2Yeah, it really does. Actually, I don't get the headache anymore, I just get the fucking pain in all my joints.
Speaker 1The joint pain do me booty.
Speaker 2It's because my fucking goddamn joint.
Speaker 1If I get out of my truck wrong. I feel like I threw my back out. All the air just came out of it.
Speaker 2If I stand up now, my fucking knees feel like they're exploding.
Speaker 3If I just sleep like.
Speaker 2If I just sleep, like If I just sleep, I hurt.
Speaker 3Like uh, at night Cade likes to sleep right between my legs. He just like nudges himself in. If I let him sleep there throughout the night, my back will be fucking broken the next morning.
Speaker 1Burb it up, burb it up.
Speaker 3Give him hell. Mai Tai is strong.
Speaker 1Mai Tai, is me Mai Tai, I'm not saying cutthroat, you want to sponsor me.
Speaker 3You fucking Mai Tai is fucking killer, dude, cut river.
Speaker 2He said cutthroat.
Speaker 3Cutwater.
Speaker 2Cutwater.
Speaker 3Cutriver yeah.
Speaker 2I don't think they're going to sponsor you now that you got the wrong name down.
Speaker 1It's not a good look.
Speaker 2Captain.
Speaker 1Morgan Sliced Sponsor us.
Speaker 2We're going to kick it over to Captain.
Speaker 3Morgan Sliced Dude. The Captain Morgan Sliced sponsored us their new mixed drinks.
Speaker 1We already asked Captain Morganonsor us their new mixed drinks Captain Morgan, I think, to sponsor us.
Speaker 3They got a peach something.
Speaker 1Strawberry margarita. They have a Long Island iced tea. I fucked with the Long Island Dude.
Speaker 3They are so good. That was my favorite drink, the most fucked up I ever got Was off of Long Island.
Speaker 2Yeah, they'll do it.
Speaker 3I had five of them. I drank Long Island one night.
Night of Drinking and Laughter
Speaker 2The most fucked up I ever got was off of Long Islands.
Speaker 1I had five of them. I drank Long Islands one night and ended up at a fucking dance club.
Speaker 2That was the same night with the story where the bouncer at the bar thought I was still drinking alcohol and I was like, nope, I'm drinking water, but I don't know where my friends are, but I'll be fine. He was like, alright, you just sit there for a little bit because I was drinking water. And he like actually like checked with the bartender to make sure I was. And then it was also the same night whenever I was in the uber and I was like, yeah, you're gonna want to pull over. You fucking threw the car and park and like open the door.
Speaker 1I was like with a.
Speaker 2I was like yeah, you're just going to want to pull over right now, and let me exhale my stomach.
Speaker 3I've only grown up from drinking one time ever.
Speaker 4It's bullshit it was my 21st birthday I kind of want to think of like four times, and one was last weekend.
Speaker 2Well, I can think of one time that you guys all know of, when I thought it was the weekend.
Speaker 3Well, I can think of one time that you guys all know of, when you thought he did cocaine.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's the whole thing. It's the whole reason that fucking took off. Vr chat got you. I did throw up a couple weeks ago because I drank too much, but it was also just because I hadn't been used to drinking that much since I moved over here. Because, I tried to do what my old self does, and my old self could do way more than my current self, your old self, was a lot more depressed. Yeah, I don't drink as much anymore.
Speaker 3I don't drink as much either, since Murky doesn't live with me anymore.
Speaker 1That's probably a good thing.
Speaker 2I drink like a fish man Murky just brings the depression with you.
Speaker 3No, it wasn't that. We just worked at a really shitty job.
Speaker 2I mean, that's still depression. You're literally just describing depression, bro.
Speaker 1We can make steaks. You can't be fucking depressed when you're drinking and making steaks.
Speaker 3We were having the best of fucking yeah, we had a great time. We were fucking laughing so hard at halloween we were fucking crying dude because fucking shack was the fucking radio the best.
Speaker 1So the whole movie, this whole alexander movie. There's a radio host that sounds like a uh l by very feminine. Yes, yeah, kind of like elvira-esque fucking halloween radio show in salem and then he fucking adam sandler, ends up having to run. He runs to the radio station because the whole town's after him and he finds out that shaquille o'neal is the radio host and they just have a stare off for a second, like we fucking paused the movie and I looked at Berkey and I just started fucking dying laughing and he was like I fucking I
Speaker 3missed this.
Speaker 1He had seen the movie because I'd watched the movie and completely missed that part he's probably drunk as shit.
Speaker 2He's probably watching the Doppler radar.
Speaker 1I missed the whole fucking second half of the movie you're watching the Doppler radar.
Speaker 2Oh, I missed the whole fucking second half of the movie. You're watching the Doppler radar. Oh, I know why You're having sex.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 4Yeah.
Speaker 1Yeah, so I missed that part, like that whole section, because I was busy.
Speaker 2So the second time.
Speaker 1I saw the movie. It was new to me that Shaquille O'Neal was the very feminine radio host, and then his wife had a super deep voice and served them sandwiches.
Speaker 3I forgot about that.
Speaker 2What is this movie called?
Speaker 3It's called Hubie's Halloween Hubie.
Speaker 1Halloween on Netflix dude.
Speaker 3The movie's so fucking funny Fucking Steepy Summies in it. I can't wait to hear your real voice.
Speaker 1What do you mean? This is not real boys. Get super fucking drink a few before you watch it.
Speaker 3I mean, it's kind of the same concept as fucking the fucking cocaine bear movie don't watch that movie don't watch that movie sober when murky and I watched tubies halloween, we had both like made very, very stiff drink in the biggest glasses we could fucking find we had 32. Like made very, very stiff drink in the biggest glasses we could fucking find in the cabinet we had 32 ounce mugs each of us.
Speaker 1Yeah, that were like 50-50 and we finished them and looked at each other like around the same time, like I feel like I should be more buzzed up than I am.
Speaker 3Right, it was like I'm not drunk, I'm buzzed, but like I don't feel like right as fucked up as I should be and that was like the tipping point for zinbro. That was like maybe we have a problem, and murky is like we probably do have a problem, but I still don't care yeah, you know, I'm willing to acknowledge there's a problem, but I'm not gonna stop zinbro was like maybe I? This is not a good coping mechanism. This is gonna lead to you made that movie fucking sofa.
Speaker 3That movie was fucking hilarious. We like pushed a section of my sectional in front of the tv so we could be close to the tv too. We're just fucking busting a gut laughing at that fucking movie. We had the fucking best time. That was easily one of the best nights ever. We were just fucking having a good old, fucking time.
Speaker 1Hey, ai, that will generate the preview for this episode. Make sure you mention Hubie, halloween and how they sponsor us Not a sponsor. Make sure Adam Sandler sponsors us.
Speaker 3Adam Sandler sponsors us.
Speaker 1Come to my wedding, come to mine and Coco's you can talk about Happy Gilmore, part 2.
Speaker 2Dude, I'll let Adam Sandler speak at my wedding.
Speaker 1He's going to do the wedding singer song.
Speaker 4Somebody kill me.
Speaker 3Do you think we'll ever get to?
Speaker 2the point when we have any celebrity on this podcast. No.
Speaker 4It will never happen, but it totally will happen.
Speaker 3We have a good time doing it.
Speaker 2Who do you think is the most likely celebrity To come on this podcast To?
Speaker 4Nicholas Cage, besides Nicholas Cage.
Speaker 1Jack Black, come on this podcast. Nicholas Cage, besides Nicholas Cage.
Speaker 2Jack Black, I could see Jack Black. I could see Jack Black.
Speaker 1You know what I have a free this.
Speaker 2Thursday Crazy Crazy Pulls out the fucking sax that he fucking had on the fucking.
Speaker 1Dude, I just hope he fucking sits there and acoustic plays every Tenacious D song ever made.
Speaker 2He's just gonna play Peaches for an hour and a half.
Speaker 1I tenacious D song ever made.
Speaker 3He's just going to play Peaches for an hour and a half I'll catch myself.
Speaker 2He would do that. I feel like he would do that just to annoy people, and we would be all for it.
Speaker 1Yeah, absolutely, oh, I'd sing that song with him for an hour and a half.
Speaker 2Nick Cage would show up to the fucking podcast for $10.
Speaker 3True.
Speaker 2How would you guys pay him?
Speaker 3$10.
Speaker 1How about $7.50 and two grilled cheese sandwiches?
Speaker 2We'll buy your fucking dinner. You gotta eat drugs, no.
Speaker 4Unfortunately, do you at least have a six-pack of RC Cola.
Speaker 1RC Cola.
Speaker 2That's essentially what he used in that one movie, right, yeah, no what was that Wally's Wonder World?
Speaker 4yeah, it was so fucking stupid.
Speaker 1That's a movie that's a movie that you can watch sober, but it would definitely be a lot funnier drunk drunk or high yeah anyway, so, anyways, make sure to check out Murky's new OnlyFans, where he twerks.
Speaker 2You gonna go drink another one? I don't have any more. Well, you got some other out there.
Speaker 1They only come in a four pack.
Speaker 3I have bourbon cream sodas.
Speaker 2If they only come in a four pack, how did you have five of them?
Speaker 3I didn't have five of them, I only had four.
Speaker 4He had four of them.
Speaker 2Okay, my math was off.
Speaker 4And you're the one with the math degree.
Speaker 2Well, I'm also autistic, so I'm stupid.
Speaker 1It's not now. You're autistic, smart.
Speaker 2No.
Speaker 1Fuck you.
Speaker 2Fuck you Because I studied and didn't go to parties.
Speaker 4He studied the blade and the rest of us were getting laid Until I had 30.
Speaker 1That's what it was, dude. If I would have spent money Fucking version into my 20s, dude, the world was my oyster.
Speaker 2And now I make 200k. Hell yeah.
Speaker 4Big wiener.
Speaker 2Big wiener. Everybody has depression. That's why I gotta go get some alcohol.
Speaker 3True. I recommend the Cutwater, tiki, rum, mai Tai.
Speaker 2I'm just gonna go drink rubbing alcohol. Get that real high.
Speaker 4Captain.
Speaker 2Morgan's Trice.
Speaker 1Long Islands, lay it down, and then I'm going to jump off the top of a stadium and land right in front of a thousand people.
Speaker 2Has anyone in?
Speaker 4here watched Moral Oral.
Speaker 1What I know.
Speaker 4There was a clay animation cartoon on Adult Swim called Moral, moral oral, that made fun of like christianity I wouldn't say made fun of christianity was a uh, a satire on those within the community. But one of the last episodes, moral's dad takes him on a hunting trip and he gets spooked by something and he shoots his son in the leg. And instead of taking care of his son he's more upset that he doesn't have alcohol, that he takes the first aid kit from his kid, takes out the rubbing alcohol and chugs it to try to get drunk because he's an alcoholic and then he starts ranting to his son about how he was proud he just shot his own son.
Speaker 2Speaking of christianity, I saw some pretty fucked up shirts. One was the kill count between satan and god, which got three million and sat. Satan had 10. And the other was New Game Everybody picks a verse from the Bible follows it to a T whoever gets arrested last wins.
Speaker 4Oh, that's pretty fucking hilarious.
Speaker 3Have I ever told you guys my drunk debate?
Speaker 2No, but you're gonna go for it, oh yeah.
Speaker 1Do you guys want to hear how Zeno lives his life when he's drunk?
Speaker 2We're about to figure it out because he's drunk right now. Here's the deal.
Speaker 1I've had this discussion between four and seven times.
Debate
Speaker 2Alright, Zeno, lay it on us Every time we get super, so what?
Speaker 3if satan is the good guy, right I mean I am hear me out.
Speaker 3He is the good guy. So hear me out. Like god tells you, like you can only believe in me. You believe in anybody else. I'm a jealous god, I'll fucking damn you, right, right, satan's like just fucking live your life, bro. But also, uh, satan and hell was in charge of music. Right, what do they do in church? Sing? They fucking sing and praise God. So what if Satan is actually the good guy? Maybe Satan was up there in heaven and was like hey God, you're kind of being a dick to these people. Why are you doing this?
Speaker 3I wish I had you as my fucking lawyer yeah, right fucking God was like hey bro, I don't appreciate you stepping on my fucking toes. I'm sending you down there and he's send him to hell.
Speaker 1Yeah, god's a fucking douchebag.
Speaker 3Yeah, obviously Satan's the good guy. Satan tells you hey, live your fucking life. God's like hey, you need to live your life the way I tell you to live it.
Speaker 2Also, god tells you to beat gay people With stones. Also anybody here who has had sex before marriage. You should also be stoned to death yeah well that includes you fucking mormon so that includes you coco. Yeah, son of a bitch, yeah yeah, fuck it, stony daddy the hell coco I play satan on a god damn.
Speaker 1I'm already going to burn it out.
Speaker 2Bro, I'm fucking, I am Satan on a podcast and I just said God's the bad guy, I'm going to hell.
Speaker 3God is the bad guy. What do you mean?
Speaker 2Yeah, it's because I don't fucking follow his ways. Also, if it's in a book the Bible and you follow it and it can get you arrested you read books. Yeah, fair enough, I can't read. Yeah, you can't read because you can't fucking see right now, dude, I can see you sure how many fingers am I holding up. Your one eye looks kind of fucking. That was very questionable, but you got it. I'm holding two.
Speaker 3It looked like three of them. I can't believe you're still functioning in Destiny, honestly. He's probably not. You know, I'm running around the fucking comadrone right now. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I'm fucking running around. You just got a controller in your hand and you're running around.
Speaker 1I'm just doing the shit. I was going to sit there and I'm shooting the guys.
Speaker 2I can't wait for you to get reintroduced to Miz and Almighty and your new fucking state, because you left Coherent and you're going to come back gone.
Speaker 3I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 2I do, but I think, we're good on the podcast now.
Speaker 3I think we're good on our limit.
Speaker 2God bad guy, satan good guy.
Speaker 3That's how we end it Make sure you put that in the episode.
Speaker 2Yeah, that should be the name of the podcast Satan's the good guy. Satan's the good guy. I'm here for you, Satan.
Speaker 3Let's see if the AI comes up with that.
Speaker 4Remember to brush your teeth, everybody.
Speaker 2Remember to brush your teeth and don't jump off of buildings. It won't send you to hell Woo.
