ADHD After Dark
ADHD After Dark is the unfiltered podcast where a group of hilarious dudes with ADHD gather to talk about anything and everything that comes to mind. Brace yourself for an explicit and comedic rollercoaster ride, as we dive into the depths of randomness, pushing the boundaries of humor and edginess.
In each episode, we unleash our unapologetic, off-the-cuff banter, sharing outrageous stories, wild adventures, and side-splitting anecdotes that will keep you laughing throughout the night. No topic is off-limits for us—whether it's outrageous personal experiences, taboo subjects, or exploring the more intimate and risqué aspects of life, we bring a refreshingly audacious and humorous perspective to it all.
ADHD After Dark is your escape from the mundane and predictable. Join our crew as we navigate the uncharted territories of comedic chaos, reveling in the freedom to explore the untamed corners of our minds. We embrace the spirit of After Dark, where the content can get explicit, sexual, and edgy—pushing boundaries and challenging social norms with a healthy dose of laughter.
While we may not always offer informative insights, we guarantee an uproarious time filled with absurdity, spontaneous conversations, and unabashed humor. It's a podcast that's not afraid to go where others won't, creating an inclusive space for individuals who enjoy unfiltered comedic escapades.
So, grab a drink, kick back, and immerse yourself in the unapologetically hilarious world of ADHD After Dark. Warning: explicit content ahead—tune in at your own risk, but be prepared to laugh your way through our zany adventures, spontaneous tangents, and unabashedly funny discussions that defy convention. Welcome to the wild, comedic chaos of ADHD After Dark.
ADHD After Dark
S3 E16: Bloody Tacos
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What happens when a Power Rangers outfit, a broken soda bottle, and a family vacation gone wrong converge in one episode? Brace yourself for an uproarious ride as we kick off with "ADHD After Dark," where technical mishaps and playful banter keep us on our toes. Murky's struggles with screenshots and Zeno's impulsive purchase of an expensive Power Rangers costume lead to uncontrollable laughter. And just when you think it can't get any crazier, a lunchtime disaster involving a bloody taco adds another layer of chaos to our day.
Next up, we untangle the messy web of "Dysfunctional Family Drama," detailing a vacation marred by misunderstandings over dietary restrictions and simmering family tensions. From my sister's inability to differentiate between vegetarian and vegan to my mother's emotional pleas for more quality time, we lay bare the frustrations that turn a getaway into a stress fest. Then, we take you to Myrtle Waves water park for the "Cabana Chair Confrontation," where a battle over lounge chairs escalates to a manager's no-nonsense intervention, teaching us all a lesson about standing our ground.
Throughout the episode, we sprinkle wild tales and candid conversations, from gaming updates and creators' struggles to bizarre late-night banter and quirky personal stories. Hear us laugh about prosthetic legs, recount excruciating kidney stones, and even plan a Christmas party amidst the madness. We wrap up with a review of a hilarious drinking game and a rundown on promoting some online platforms. With raw humor, high energy, and personal anecdotes, this episode promises to keep you chuckling and engaged from start to finish.
Twitter - https://twitter.com/DarkAfterAdhd
Start recording. Welcome to ADHD After Dark. Did you just have a stroke?
Speaker 2I think you did you want to help me. You're about to have another one.
Speaker 1I can't wait to see how dumb this is. Can somebody be on screenshot duty and?
Speaker 3upload this to the Twitter, because that's not my job, screenshot duty.
Speaker 2You guys ready for?
Speaker 1this shit. I'm talking to you E Because Murky's too stupid to know how to screenshot. Murky, do you know how to screenshot something on your computer? How do you do it?
Speaker 4how do you do it? How do you do it?
Speaker 1you dumb piece of shit here it is you're fucking retarded. I'm not screenshotting this.
Speaker 5Here it is. You're fucking retarded.
Speaker 1I'm not screenshotting this, but it is cute. How much money did you spend on that?
Speaker 2Let's not talk about it.
Speaker 1How much money did you spend on that?
Speaker 2This Xeno, did not spend any money on it. Oh yeah, past Xeno and like that's not how this works look he's trying to girl map it. Let's hear it, yeah it was like Zeno from like August of last year spent a bit of money on this how much is a bit of money? Like 20 bucks.
Speaker 1I don't believe you for a fucking second. I don't believe you for a fucking second.
Speaker 5I don't believe that was 20 bucks how much do you think it was?
Speaker 1at least 100 between 50 to 100 120.
Speaker 2I'll take 120 bucks.
Speaker 1That's close enough that sounds like we're way under. Did you spend like 200 bucks on this? What?
Speaker 5did you spend more than 200? Have we got?
Speaker 2Zeno. Why are you asking me so?
Speaker 5many questions Zeno.
Speaker 1I know you like Power Rangers, but did you spend $200 on this?
Speaker 2Listen in my defense. You just told me to do it. I was drunk. Oh my god, how much was this again? Um, it was, like you know, the real number, if we had to put real numbers on it, it was like maybe like 120 bucks for the pants and 120 bucks for the jacket, I think I remember you telling me about this.
Speaker 4Oh my god.
Speaker 1So all of a sudden I don't feel so bad about it. But to be fair.
Speaker 2They came out with the Green Ranger one first and I was like I don't know if I can do that. Gaz was like you should do it, you need that, you deserve it. And I was like, man, if they make a White Ranger one, I'll do it. And they made a. White Ranger one. She sent it to me. She's like Zeno, you have to fucking do it. You said you would do it. I was like son of a bitch. I did it. I ordered it, like last year.
Speaker 1And what else did you order?
Speaker 2this week.
Speaker 1It finally showed up today.
Speaker 2I didn't order anything this week. You, you didn't get the raid jacket, not yet, not yet.
Speaker 1It's another 120 I gotta measure myself just fucking get a 2x, you'll be fine. I want it to be too big. Well, I mean, the xl was super fucking tight on me. Maybe you just get an xl, but you need a 2x because of that wiener yeah, well, because it like sp fits up like a snake yeah.
Speaker 2You guys want to hear a Hear a. What Stupid story. Yeah, let's go.
Speaker 1Stupid story time. We got a lot of those this podcast.
Speaker 2So I went to a restaurant, a little taco market in the city I work in. Murky probably knows what I'm talking about. He's been in the area, yeah.
Speaker 4I'm sure I know which one.
Speaker 2Yeah, a little taco market, yeah, and got some tacos. Also got some Mexican cola and I failed to realize that I was going to need a bottle opener to open that bottle right. Or a lighter or a lighter. I had no such thing. What I did have is a sharp edge that I could pop the top of the bottle on right, the cap off right. You would have beer bottle. Done it a hundred times Would you break it Huh, would you break? I may have broke the top of the bottle.
Speaker 4And then you can't drink the Coke because now there's ice in it.
Speaker 2Well, no. I filtered it through some cheesecloth Funny story. I couldn't see that the top of the bottle was broken because the like carbonation started to fizz over the top. So I was just like. You know I have to fucking.
Speaker 3You went right into it, all the time.
Speaker 1Yeah, I went right into it.
Speaker 2I had to get the Coke and I cut the shit out of my lip. My lip was just like bleeding all over the place. Didn't know I was bleeding, it was just like sitting my fucking taco was just blood all over my face, you, fucking idiot Sad.
Speaker 4Yeah, how long did it?
Speaker 1take you to realize that you were bleeding. It took me like a couple seconds, whenever it started to drip on the taco. No, I was sitting at a picnic table when it started to drip on the taco.
Speaker 2No, actually I noticed the blood on the bottle and I was like fuck, did I break the top of this bottle? And I was like shit, is that blood? And I looked over.
Speaker 1The thing that's interesting is that you broke how many sips after you broke the bottle did you do two? So like the first one was fizzy. So you have a defense there the second one, you could have clearly seen that the bottle was true like total, yeah, like a fizzy one and the second one.
Speaker 2You could have clearly seen that the bottle was broken. There was two total. Yeah, Like a fizzy one and the second one. You probably should have noticed. The second one I should have noticed. And then when I pulled the bottle away, I noticed it was red and I was like, is that Coke or is that blood? And I looked at my coworker and she goes hey, homie, your lip is bleeding.
Speaker 4And I was likeies Weird.
Speaker 2So yeah, that happened today. Cool time Tacos were fucking amazing, though they were $2 a piece because it was Taco Thursday. They gave me the green salsa and the red salsa. I didn't fuck with the red salsa, though. I only fucked with the green, you're right, I watched that shit. Fucking tear your insides up.
Speaker 4I don't want no part of that it tastes so good it's going to fucking. I don't want no part of that. Tastes so good it's gonna fucking ruin your goddamn insides. Make me cry literally like tears, like down my face, nose, just like a faucet got turned on. I'm just like, oh, this is so good.
Speaker 1Yeah, you look like you're dying it's not healthy so how's, how's he doing over there?
Speaker 5uh, I exist, therefore I am.
Speaker 1I'm going to need a little bit more out of you.
Speaker 5I don't know. It feels like Zeno's got this shit covered. Man, he's got enough stories.
Speaker 1Let me tell you about my fucking vacation and how my sister's a horrible person.
Speaker 5Oh jeez, Is that when you sent the group chat that she was a particular word?
Dysfunctional Family Drama
Speaker 1Oh yeah, she was a raging cunt, bro. She was so bad that I sent my mother a message. I was like is my sister on her period or something? Because what the fuck was that? So my sister claims that she's a cook or a chef, but she's just the headline chef at a top golf. So we'll start there and kind of go go with that degree. But the whole thing surrounded by uh, was basically because of, of of food.
Speaker 1So I went down there with Gaz, down to Myrtle Beach, with Gaz and her sister, who is a vegetarian which is very important to note that a vegetarian is not a vegan which my sister couldn't under fucking stand. So we went out and got her veggie burgers and we go ahead and we bring them back so that they could cook them on the grill and stuff, because my sister was going to cook a bunch of stuff on the grill and she got super upset. She picked up these veggie burgers that I had that I put over there and she's like what the fuck is this? I'm like they're veggie burgers for somebody with a dietary restriction and she's like, well, just to let you know, I'm going to put these on after I put all the meat on and these on. After I put all the meat on and I'm like, okay, cool, she's not a vegan, she's a vegetarian. And my sister fucking yells at me and she goes it's the same fucking thing. And I'm like, no, no, it's not. So we get past that and I'm ready to fucking blow up on her already, cause she starts going on to how she doesn't want me to get fucking married to Gaz and all sorts of other stuff, yada, yada, yada, and I'm like you're a fucking horrible person and I just fucking left.
Speaker 1Um, so after we, after after a while, everybody calmed her down and told her how much of a horrible person she was, apparently, but not good enough, because when we came over, my mom was like, does she put anything on top of it? And I was like, yeah, she said she wants cheese. And then, from inside the trailer, my mom like did that? And she was just, and I could just hear my sister yelling in the trailer what do you mean? Put cheese on it? She's not. She's a vegan. She can't have cheese. Don't fucking tell me she's a vegetarian and tell me to put cheese on her ship.
Speaker 1I'm a cook, I know what this shit is, and we're out there listening to this and I'm like you're a fucking asshole and she's fucking melting down inside the trailer and getting mad at me for literally trying to have somebody have a dietary restriction. And I came back to my fucking trailer and I was like boys. Why is my sister such a raging fucking cunt? Uh, because I was fed up with it. Also fun fact she didn't cook the veggie burger right. She didn't cook it long enough. I didn't know you could mess that up, but apparently she did mess that up either so.
Speaker 1So she had to go, uh, gaz's sister had to go and put it in the microwave to warm it up to be edible, uh. But long story short, don't claim to be. We were talking about it later. We were like how about we see that culinary degree? Because clearly you don't fucking know what your goddamn dietary restrictions are. And I was like I was eating the fucking steaks and I wanted to fucking be a snarky bitch and say to my sister I was like, hey, hey, did you not have a pepper allergy? How much pepper did you put on these things? Since my tongue was a little bit, uh, spicy, I wanted to see if she would blow up at me. For that I'd be like, all right, sorry, learn how to fucking cook then for people with allergies. Idiot, idiot, hurry up.
Speaker 1So then there was that that was day one, that was day fucking one of my vacations. So I didn't want to be, I didn't want to be around for the rest of the vacation. So we basically did a bunch of stuff, didn't hang out with them as much, and like last day of the trip comes by and my fucking mother's over there crying because I didn't spend enough time with her. But I'm like all right. So my sister was mad at me for making my mother cry because she fucking was a douchebag the first day. And then my mom's going off on me Like she's crying going off on me. She's like so, is that so you? You avoiding me because of your sister and I was like, well, mostly, yeah, I don't want to fucking hang out with her and I'm not going to fucking deal with her. And she was, she was trying to guilt trip me into being like sorry, I didn't spend more time with you.
Speaker 1But looking back on it, there were a couple of times I went to my mom. I was like, hey, we're going to this place after dinner, you want to walk around with us? And she's like I don't want to park up front, I'm going to just go to the back, look at a couple of things and leave. And there were a couple of times we invited her out to dinner and really that was it. But like, other than that, we didn't get too many invitations. She just kind of wanted us to go to the beach and sit there and do nothing, yeah, for seven days you're telling me you and your adhd brain doesn't want to sit on a beach and do nothing.
Speaker 1But she was like crying to me and then she was like I feel like I failed both of my kids, like I failed you, like you, you're she like, basically was in you, insinuating that I'm messed up somehow for not getting along with my sister and I'm like there's nothing here that's wrong with me. My sister could maybe be a human being and not fucking get upset at every little goddamn thing Like. I don't know if I told this on the, on the podcast, but whenever I got engaged I had to call her before the news got public to make sure she would react okay. And then she told me I ruined her day when I told her I got engaged.
Speaker 5So so my sister's a fucking bitch and uh and uh, you know I haven't really just misunderstood, yeah, yeah what I'm hearing is a lot of needed therapy that's being avoided for her for more than her, it sounds like and her mother.
Speaker 1I go to therapy for this shit and uh, coco, if I was you?
Speaker 4you. What you should have said is do you know who the fuck you're talking to? Do you know I am the most well off of most? All my friends, yeah, my mom was like super upset.
Speaker 1Murky, who somehow gets by, is a dumb piece of shit I don't know I don't know how that would have worked in an argument, but I I see, yeah, okay, you see where I'm going with it.
Speaker 2I mean, yeah, but my mother, she would have realized you weren't the fuck up and that murky was the fuck up yeah, and then then somehow it would have been my fault that murky's a fuck up well, yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1I mean, my friends asked but like, but like I don't understand how she can look at me and go that like she messed up with me, because that implies that there's something wrong with me because I don't get along with my sister. And the reason I'm not getting along with her is because she literally got fucking pissed off that I got engaged and threw a hissy fit that because I'm in, because the person I'm engaged to sister was a vegetarian and she doesn't know how to deal with that.
Speaker 2I don't understand why she was mad that you got engaged to gas because she's a she's fucking a control freak.
Speaker 1I'm also surprised that she got engaged over the trip and then she started talking about how it's a real diamond and stuff like that. I'm just like how many kids souls are in there? Because if it's a real diamond, do you know how many kids died?
Speaker 4for that thing.
Speaker 1But she wouldn't accept anything other than a real diamond. She's such a spoiled bitch. So anyway, that's how my family is Nice, nice.
Speaker 4Go lab babe. Don't kill people to get your jewelry.
Speaker 1Well, at least you can tell this to your mother.
Speaker 5You didn't go into education and end up hating your entire career. I get that you haven't had and Murky calls himself a dumb piece of shit. That man went into a place where he could get decent money without a college degree and here's this motherfucker who, out of our entire friend group, is getting paid the least. I don't want to hear you call yourself a dumb motherfucker. You at least made decent life decisions. I did not.
Speaker 2You're making the same amount of money as Switch right now.
Speaker 5Switch is actually sucking people behind the Five Guys dumpster.
Speaker 2That brings in a pretty penny. I did that for a few summers.
Speaker 4Toys R Us fired me for stealing all the Yu-Gi-Oh cards, jesus Christ. So I started sucking dick behind the Toys R Us.
Speaker 2Really stuck it to him, I was sucking the dick of most of the employees too, yeah, who were also stealing the Yu-Gi-Oh cards for me.
Speaker 4I told them I was strictly working actually on the truck, like I drove the truck, that's why I was there, and they didn't expect to see me inside, so I stayed outside and I sucked dick.
Speaker 5Alright, so you know if it works. It works.
Speaker 1So W story, a win from the vacation, though you guys heard the Karen story, let's bring that up on the podcast.
Speaker 5Yeah, your 12 Snapchat long story.
Cabana Chair Confrontation at Water Park
Speaker 1Oh, it was great, but we'll we'll go into it a little more here because we can like banter and talk about it, but it was just incredible the entitlement I've. I've, I witnessed, and I kind of wish that I wasn't feeling so awkward in the situation that I could have remembered to pull my phone out, but I was just. I was so shocked that somebody could be like this, that like right, just so snooty and like right. So basically, here's how, here's what happened. We went to a water park at myrtle beach called myrtle waves and we spent 200 on a cabana for the day. I mean it came with like fucking 12, like like like six souvenir cups that had one one um, one free fill plus like dollar refills. So like we got that. We got alcohol of no, just like pop and stuff, but we got 15 off of all the food there and stuff, uh, and we got like a nice kind of shaded private area and like our own kind of private locker and stuff like that. So we didn't have to worry about paying like $40 for the actual locker. So it's already like well, you know, you're getting a $40 locker that's bigger for 200 plus like drinks and 15% off of food and shade, and the key part of this story being there's supposed to be four lounge chairs in front of the cabana that are they're not marked but like they're close enough to the cabana where, like somebody could logically think, if somebody came up and said, hey, we purchased this, purchase this, those are our chairs, can we sit?
Speaker 1Um right. So we come up and around and there's this lady and she's got um her shit with all of her kids on on there. So there's these four chairs, they got all the shit on it. So we pull up and and you know, I didn't think anything of it. I mean, I thought it was weird that there were chairs there and people were on them, but like I didn't know they were ours until gas was like, hey, I think those are our lounge chairs. So she was like she made me be the one to go up and uh talk to them because she didn't want to say anything.
Speaker 1But, uh, I go up and talk and I I go up to the lady. I'm like, hey, uh, so I think these are the chairs that we um that we that we got with our purchase of this cabana for the day. So, uh, could you, could you kindly move? Um, I like said it as nice as possible, like trying to trying to be nice, and you know, you know we needed three of the chairs. I was like if you need one we can give you one, but like we need at least three of them, uh sort of thing. And this lady turns around and she goes well, there's no seats anywhere and I don't see that these were marked anywhere. And and it's just not fair that you purchased this and there was no marking here, and I have to give up my seat now and I'm like, well, well, not my problem, I bought it, so you know yeah, I paid money for these and I was like I paid money for these chairs, so I'm gonna I'm gonna kind of need them.
Speaker 1And so you know what she turned around and said to me. She turned around and said well, I'm not gonna move, you're gonna have to go tell customer service to come out here and bring you four chairs. I looked at her and I went honey, if I go to customer service, you're not going to like the outcome because they're not bringing you chairs. And she's like well, it's not fair. So you're going to have to go talk to them because I'm not moving. And I go back and tell Gaz this and Gaz goes. And she was just like I don't remember what she said, but like it triggered Gaz and Gaz just like yelled back at her. She's like or you can just move all of your shit. And I was like oh yeah, oh no. So I'm walking up to customer service and I see them starting to move. So I'm like, oh, oh, maybe they're moving out and I don't actually have to go up to customer service yeah fucking.
Speaker 1no, no, they, they were moving in more. She was like twisting it to the sun, moving it to get in better position, like re, like taking everybody's shit out and putting them on all the chairs, like I was getting this relayed to me Cause I was like if she moves before I get to customer service, can you, uh, can you let me know Gaz? And she was like this bitch is fucking moving in and I was like oh no, so I get hooked up her fucking internet.
Speaker 1Yes, you fucking pulled out the hotspot, fucking. There's a TV now and fucking they're playing rocket league. There's a TV now and they're playing Rocket League they set up their own hot tub.
Speaker 2There's a fucking hot tub.
Speaker 1Now I don't even know where that came out.
Speaker 4They had a plumber come out like they were going to live there.
Speaker 2Yeah they just fucking go.
Speaker 1They have a fucking mailbox out front yeah, so I get to the fucking, I get to customer service and the head manager wasn't in there yet, but like I get in there and I talk to customer service. So the the head manager wasn't in there yet, but like I get in there and I I talked to customer service, I'm like so we just purchased the King command and I just wanted to confirm something before I started any problems. I was like it comes with like these four lounge chairs right, where are, where are those supposed to be? And they were like. They were like did a couple of things? They things they confirmed were like oh yeah, it should be. Like. You know, there should be like four chairs right in front of the hut and I was like, okay, cool, so there's somebody in them. And she told me to pound sand and come talk to you guys she told me to go fuck myself.
Speaker 1I literally said that she told me to pound sand and talk to you guys to have them bring more chairs out. And as I'm saying this, the head manager must have overheard and was just like just outside and walked in and she looks at me and she goes, follow me and she fucking, she's doing the I have power walk. She was like I ain't got time.
Speaker 2I ain't got fucking time for this.
Speaker 1She's fucking doing that power walk. And she gets there, and boy, time for this. She's fucking doing that power walk. And she gets there. And boy, I'm just standing there. I'm just standing there with my fucking awkward autism, like like this. While it's going on I didn't know what to do. I'm just sitting there I don't know what to do, with my hands so uncomfortable. And she gets up there and she starts basically saying all right, is this person with you? And I'm like no, this is the problem person.
Speaker 1She goes okay, ma'am, so I'm gonna need you to move. She goes well, why I was here first? And she goes well, this is part of that cabana and they paid for this, so you gotta move. And she goes well, there ain't no sign here. So like that's just not fair. And she and she like then kept repeating that line over and over, like maybe 20 or 30 fucking times, like there was this loop of her going through that whole process. This isn't fair, there was no sign. And the manager just goes man, I can make a sign, but you got to move. Like you're leaving, there is no ifs, ands or buts. And she's like well, I got all this stuff and move it.
Speaker 1You gotta go, I'll help you right now you fucking go and it took her five minutes to get her to leave and the manager's sitting there like this the whole time trying to get her to go. And her kids came out of the lazy river, which we were right next to, and they were like all confused and of course Karen told many Karens a different story, that we were probably being abusive and I have no idea what it was, but like essentially they were all looking, giving us the side eye while they're packing up packing up all their shit.
Speaker 1I'm like they said we're not good enough to be here. I'm like I fucking paid for this Right and they're good and and and fucking. Once they showed up, they all started helping and then the lady left as they left and she kept saying there's no chairs anywhere. There's no chairs. As I walked back, there were empty chairs Everywhere. She just didn't want to sit next to people, so she was. As she was leaving, fucking Gaz said to the manager. She was like Thank you for all your help, miss. And she's like Really loud, as she's going away and all the mini Karens turn around and give us the side eye. It's fucking Gaz, just goes. Turn your fucking heads back around, mini Karens.
Speaker 2And I'm like Jesus Christ. It was like great. We're going to get fucking shanked walking out of here by these kids.
Speaker 1So funny story. What had the like at the end of the day? Like I wasn't even going to fucking sunbathe. But then you know what? I was fucking sunbathing, I was taking up two chairs, fucking, showing my wiener fucking, just because you could.
Speaker 2Just because I could.
Speaker 1I was willing to get sunburn and cancer just because of my victory. Right, Because of my victory. I couldn't have gone through all that and then just not use the chairs. Like I had to, I had to now but funny story we get, we're done.
Creators' Struggles and Triumphs
Speaker 1We get to the we. We stayed for about like five hours, like three hours longer than we wanted to because we were on a high from this fucking victory. We get to the fucking car and we're. We're trying to get my phone to work and I needed to restart it and everything. So like I had to restart my phone because it was all broken to get the navigation up and just as it all came back up, fucking karen's walk in front of our car, the entire party walked right in front of us and I almost wanted to fucking you should just light up.
Speaker 1I thought, I fucking thought about it. Then I also said hey, gaz, I should go by their car on the way out and be like so, did you find any chairs? And then left I didn't, but I thought it would have been really fucking funny, you're a better man than me so that was the W Karen story.
Speaker 2David would have honked the horn. I'm like sorry I'm getting my dick sucked right now. Fucking hit the horn Whoops, whoops.
Speaker 1Jesus Christ.
Speaker 4Oh yeah, sorry babe, sorry guys, she's choking on my huge Cock.
Speaker 1My monster condoms for my Magnum dung.
Speaker 4Dino uses hefty bags Fucking Christ.
Speaker 2I like to use the spring breeze.
Speaker 1Scent ones. Did you see the new thing that I got back there in my uh?
Speaker 2yeah, it's really cute. Yeah, I've seen that a few places.
Speaker 1I saw that and I was like well, I gotta fucking buy it now it's like 40 bucks pretty cool.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's not bad for what it is. I mean, the funkos are at least ten dollars a piece yeah, at least $10 a piece.
Speaker 1They are at least $10 a piece. Holy shit, I'm gonna go get a pop. Okay, you guys entertain the viewers.
Speaker 2My eyes look awful. Look at Little. He's just trying so hard to get your attention. Look at that paw. It's so cute. He's like Dad.
Speaker 4He's just being a sweet little baby Dad, he'll come up and lay on me, and then King will come up and lay on Dusty Aw.
Speaker 2Look at the man, come close. He's such a cute boy. Kate's over here sleeping. He has this big-ass chair now. He said fuck the cat bed, this chair is mine now. You know it's over here sleeping. He has this big ass chair now. He said, fuck the cat bed, this chair is mine now.
Speaker 5You know, it's his new bed.
Speaker 2Yeah, exactly, he loves that shit.
Speaker 3Oh, there's.
Speaker 1Coke there he is What'd you get? I got a Coke Zero.
Speaker 2Nice, nice. Is that the one with the Marvel characters on it?
Speaker 1You know what I just? I just noticed. Yes, it is yeah, captain america, in america yeah oh, marvel character oh, I got the daredevil.
Speaker 2oh I got um olympic, guess what else? Fucking Hulk.
Speaker 1And another Daredevil. That's interesting that you have Coke Zero and regular Coke.
Speaker 4I got 12-pack regular Coke. I've had so much sugars out of my diet recently I was like that sounds so good, so here we go, and then you're going to put on so much more weight.
Speaker 5I got my mug. Got water the mug, uh no, it's coffee wow this late in the day at 7 30 uh, I've honestly been sipping on it throughout the entire day, made a pot, poured it in there, started editing a particular youtube channel that's coming back alive tomorrow.
Speaker 1Gameboat.
Speaker 4Oh shit, yeah Gameboat's coming back. Big, big things happening on the water in the boat for the championships.
Speaker 5It was one of those. I knew I needed a project again and I was just feeling burnt out by a lot. It was that factor of well. I feel like all I'm doing every single day is applying to jobs, either being ghosted or just getting those stereotypical. Oh, we decided to go with another candidate we're sorry emails which seems to be filling my emails and it was one of those. I was trying to practice on Python and everything and it just felt like I did that ADHD thing where I'm not getting quick results, so I'm not getting that dopamine, so I just need to do something where I feel like I can see that I put effort in and boom, here's an outcome, boom, here's the dopamine.
Speaker 5So I was like I still have these old episodes of game boat that never got edited. So now episode four of the way out is, uh, really shitty because premiere kept trying to compress everything because of the file type that I had for my stuff, because coco's original audio was completely destroyed and he had an mp4 like nothing in his audio was working, so I had to go off my recordings audio and then, with premiere trying to compress everything, the video got compressed. The sound it sounded like we were talking out of tin cans and I did everything I could to try to save that audio. And then when it came to episode five today to edit, I was like we're gonna try something. So I still had davinci resolve on my computer, slapped up those files, transferred everything to mp4, tried slapping them back in premiere and then boom, everything worked fine.
Speaker 5I'm like, okay, but also in Episode 5, coco and I just had a bunch of awkward silences because there's a lot of cutscenes. So I'm like if you want to skip awkward silence, skip to this time. Or Coco had to get up to get his DoorDash.
Speaker 1What did I fucking order? Like two years ago on this day.
Speaker 5It was five guys I miss being able to order that shit.
Speaker 1I can only get mcdonald's subway and kfc and the kfc is a taco bell and I can't even order that because it doesn't know it exists. Sorry, I had to let that out so good, so good.
Speaker 5But yeah, you got a uh bacon cheeseburger and a small fry I'm fucking depressed now and it was right before you were about to go to a uh one of your hockey matches god damn it.
Speaker 1I miss everything about over there so I haven't done that since I moved to go to hockey uh.
Speaker 5So yeah, gameboats coming out, uh tomorrow. So after streaming soon streaming soon, uh, which funny enough talking gamebo shit in my discord, uh, which I have now updated my link tree so that shit's on there again. Apparently. People said they did like Gameboad streams. They just oh. Apparently now it's tied. But some people said they enjoyed like weekly streams on YouTube and some people said that they enjoy the streams. They just wish they weren't on YouTube. So they're both tied which one people saying that they enjoyed.
Speaker 5It's in my general chat around 952 People saying that they enjoyed. It's in my general chat Ah Around 952.
Speaker 1I'll abstain and see the results.
Speaker 5Yeah, that's why I decided to do two. I just want to see what how people felt. So.
Speaker 1That's currently the big ties. I mean I have no problem switching.
Speaker 5Gamebo to Twitch, to be perfectly honest. But for streams I have no issues with that whatsoever.
Speaker 1I mean? Miles switched back to Twitch. Does he stream?
Speaker 5he's also been having a lot of oh nice. He's been having a lot of oh nice. He's been having a lot of creator doubts, which I get, and, being ADHD, you kind of see what's happening. He's not getting the immediate results. He's getting tired, he thinks he has to change everything, then he thinks he has to drop things, which I know. Miles doesn't listen to this podcast, but miles, if this is the one that you're listening to today, like don't give up.
Speaker 1However, maybe something's just got to change bud bro, I've been stuck at 597 followers on twitch for the last year. I would literally, I literally stream and it'll go up and it'll go back down and it'll go back up like it doesn't stay. It doesn't go up. When people follow me, it goes down sometimes but let's also be honest.
Speaker 5Discoverability on almost any platform now is fucking ass dude, like trying to promote a podcast. It's sometimes really hard to. I'm shocked. We actually had a random person who listened to us that came to coco's discord.
Speaker 1That would be like oh, these guys are funny which I guess now my discord coder coco's discord is now officially the official adhd official discord.
Speaker 2Official server official I mean it harbors all the energy.
Speaker 5True.
Speaker 1That's where the ADHD channel is too. We do record it. We do record it. A secret channel in here. We just revealed a secret. Gonna have to bleep that. Just kidding, we don't edit this shit.
Speaker 5No, we don't edit shit here.
Speaker 1Ow my god, that was so loud. Why would you do that to yourself, dude?
Speaker 4Oh my ear, that's tough.
Speaker 2You didn't do what I did, oh it was you, oh, okay.
Speaker 1Yeah, why would I do that to myself? My hands were both here, you asshole.
Speaker 5I don't know, dude, I wasn't looking at you, I was looking at Steam.
Speaker 2Look at me, you baby.
Speaker 1Marky, what are?
Speaker 4you fucking doing, yeah, fucking letting little just do his thing.
Speaker 1No, why are you saying this?
Speaker 5no, fucking idiot my favorite thing is when murky talks over that and we still act like it was murky and I just feel like Murky is this omnipotent being. He can roll multiple voices yeah.
Speaker 2Yeah, wait a minute.
Speaker 4Yeah, I have.
Speaker 2That was the best sound alert ever. That's the best.
Speaker 1Every time we make one, it's the best sound alert ever I didn't think of anything to say. He finished it like that's just Bro there was no hesitation on that, though you immediately said it. That's what happened.
Speaker 2That's what came to his mind. I love my pussy.
Speaker 4Oh, you're dicking my ass.
Speaker 3Oh no.
Speaker 2Oh no. I like the emoji for that Sound alert. It's the monkey too.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, I made it the monkey. Oh, no, that's very funny, I think my favorite one of those memes was whenever. Uh, there were a couple of good ones, but one of the ones that that sticks out in my mind is um, when your controller dies at 3500 meters below sea oh, oh, oh, that's fucked up.
Speaker 4Remember the submarine.
Speaker 1Remember the submarine.
Speaker 5Oh, boys, because we play Destiny. Did you see? The next Destiny killer is coming out on Tuesday. What is it? It's called the First Descent.
Speaker 3Oh.
Speaker 2I remember hearing about that.
Speaker 1Technically the right time for a Destiny killer to launch, because there is no story left in destiny that's got, like me, super hooked right now, have you?
Speaker 1done the seasonal I mean I have, but there's no way it's gonna hook me as much as like fucking killing the witness did. Yeah, I mean, you know I'm at I'm at about the same hype of destiny that I was whenever d1 first released, which, like you know, they were still building up the story and there wasn't like all of this stuff coming together. It's kind of like how Marvel kind of died off for me after Endgame, like there was. I didn't want to get invested in another fucking 10-year thing.
Speaker 2The story they got going right now is kind of interesting. The last week that came out was there was some interesting stuff that happened. You're interesting. Oh, you're dicking my ass.
Speaker 4That's exactly right, Erky.
Speaker 1That's basically what's happened.
Speaker 2Dude, whenever the dick goes in, have you done a weekly mission, this week Erky.
Speaker 4I haven't't, I don't think so no, I haven't either good shit.
Speaker 5I did last week, so I haven't done this week. I haven't played this week you should.
Speaker 4I need blah blah blah and blah blah blah to keep telling me the story of how they fuck each other uh, saint 14, no spoilers.
Speaker 5What do you mean? They?
Speaker 4fucked each other Saint 14, ain't that great Spoilers?
Speaker 1What do you mean? They fucked each other all the time, of course there's going to be raging gay sex.
Speaker 2They do it all the time.
Speaker 5I mean it's canon that Saint 14 is a top.
Speaker 1If there is more lore about how they're having sex in this season, that's really not a spoiler.
Speaker 4But like you know, I want in on that you sound like fucking tomodobuba is launching one and a half.
Speaker 1I can see what's happening and they don't have a clue. They'll fall in love and here's the bottom line how do you know all these? Words Our trio's down to two. What?
Speaker 5You almost have. Nathan Lane going on. It needs to be a little more flamboyant.
Speaker 2You guys see they're coming out with the Mufasa movie.
Speaker 5We need our bar Live action one.
Speaker 4I still fuck with it we need our bar, but it's that live action one. I still fuck with it. We need our goliath bard to help on the singing track.
Speaker 2What we need our goliath bard to help on the track. Hmm, koker, you're gonna play dawn trail, dawn trail.
Speaker 1Yeah, maybe it comes out tomorrow, right? Yes, it's dawn trail final fantasy oh, that's right, that's right I mean I have to finish my way through, like the last, like 80 expansions before I bother with this one.
Speaker 2So I do too.
Speaker 1We also have to get married yeah, that's, that's a thing that's still happening. It's like a year are you guys still getting married.
Speaker 4Well, we started the fucking quest.
Speaker 1We haven't finished it. We're engaged the.
Speaker 2It's like a year. Are you guys still getting married? Well, we started the fucking quest we haven't finished it. We're engaged. The priest is probably like what the fuck are you doing?
Speaker 1All engagements are cool, man, we're just like right, you guys are having a previous amount of the one you're supposed to have.
Speaker 2I mean to be fair, the thing that stopped us from getting married was grounded.
Speaker 4Yeah, it's gonna be like Metal Gear Solid, where if you fucking I forget what the sequence of things is like if you save or like don't come back to the game for so long, the boss you're supposed to fight just dies of old age oh, that was uh the one where you're playing as big boss yeah, it was the snake eater yeah, it was snake eater.
Speaker 2I can't think of that boss's name either, can I? The was like the end of fury, um.
Speaker 5I couldn't tell you, man, you're lucky that I knew it was snake eater can you feel the love?
Speaker 2tonight. It was the end.
Speaker 5His name was the end because you could quickly get to his end by just waiting for him to die.
Speaker 1Somebody start a poll that says does Coco in fact have it on my channel? I have no idea. It was 21 hours ago. Did you do this, e? No, the only reason I noticed is because I just noticed it in my activity feed on the right side of my OPS.
Speaker 5I was going to say. I can confirm that it was not me.
Speaker 1Maybe it was the bolt. I don't know who the fuck did it. It was like right at the end of stream it was space probably space space probably everybody was fishing so much yesterday it was hard to keep up. We're still missing, uh, five catches two, two in the base game and three custom ones once. Once everything's caught, I'll make more. So when are you going to make some custom things to catch E? I hope to catch a.
Speaker 5TV at some point.
Speaker 1Oh, did you. Yeah, when is E's next stream then?
Speaker 5Probably Monday, because I didn't stream yesterday to spend time with Shannon on her birthday. Hell yeah.
Speaker 4Good choice.
Speaker 1It was probably a good choice.
Speaker 5Some of the fish that I put on. There was the original Gamebo logo that I created.
Speaker 1I forget what that? Oh, the one with the fucking weird cruise ship and the yellow text on it. Yep.
Speaker 5I have the text. As one of the fish you can catch, I have the original cruise ship that you can catch. I have two of my captain coco and captain e had shots that I always use as different fishing yep and the one with you looking very stern. I have the Joysticks logo, I have Miles, I have Zeno. What else do I have? I have the Trinidad Scorpion Pepper, but here's the real thing Do you have Murky's mom?
Speaker 3Sadly. No, nope, that's me. Oh fuck. Hey, it's everybody's favorite devil, it's Satan. I feel like the modulators changed since the last time I did this. It sounds different. Does it sound different to you guys A little bit? Now that you mention it, I'll have to look into that. I don't know what my voice is. Maybe I'm just sick. We had an update. Alright, associate, take it over. Alright, satan's out of office. His voice isn't feeling good, so I'm taking over.
Speaker 5I sound even worse. Yeah, both of them kind of sound a little squeakier no-transcript a problem.
Speaker 3It's freezing out. We're everybody's fucks. Get fucked. Earth's magnetic field's gonna die now good luck everybody.
Speaker 1That was everybody's favorite devil Satan bye, satan, bye you.
Speaker 2Ready for me to beat your that was everybody's favorite devil.
Speaker 3Satan, Bye Satan.
Speaker 4Bye. You ready for me to beat your fucking ass tomorrow night at the car shop.
Speaker 2I am so ready.
Speaker 4I'm so ready for that exact thing Cock and or balls and or both on the table. That's right. You're a dick in my ass. Watch my dick in his mouth. I'm so ready for that exact thing to happen even though Zeno's over here beating me with his backup decks and shit.
Speaker 3It's like oh, I just made this oh yeah, I was gonna beat you two out of three fuck me, I'm good my rune deck's pretty good yeah, it is.
Speaker 5I know last week I showed up, nobody really showed up except for Zeno Miz and the ref.
Speaker 4Yeah, that's how it was.
Speaker 5Now watch. I'm not going to show up. Everybody and their sister is probably going to show up and be playing.
Speaker 2Miz isn't coming.
Speaker 5Yeah, because he's going to be playing that Final Fantasy expansion.
Speaker 4Yeah, you and Miz weren't there, and it was only me, zeno and the ref and one other.
Speaker 5I forget the other guys Adam.
Speaker 4Adam, yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2Those two young guys haven't been showing up either.
Speaker 5I know the last time I actually showed up, Zeno drove off to see a concert with Krista and Miz just decided he just didn't want to go. So I just kind of did an Irish farewell, where Shan and I just packed up our stuff and we just walked out while everybody was having a conversation on how to set up the tournament for that day and you're just like out. I didn't pay for my entry or sign up or anything, so we just left.
Speaker 4Yeah, hey irish goodbye is a good way to go about it uh, kevin was worried that we all quit.
Speaker 2Uh was a wasn't last week, it was a week before, because I had shown up a little bit late and matt was the only one there. Matt called kelvin was like bro, what's going on, where are you at? And he was the only one there. Matt called Calvin was like bro, what's going on, where are you at? And he's like I was there and nobody was there. I assumed everybody quit and he's like no, I'm here and Zeno's here. I think Murky was coming and then Adam showed up later that night. Calvin's like all right, well, I'll come back, but like I was, just I figured everybody was done with this game now because nobody showed up one time.
Speaker 1Everybody's late. Everybody's fucking done with this shit. God damn it.
Speaker 2I think the week before yeah, I think the week before, like hardly anybody showed up, I was out of town, it's also the summer I was out of town. It's also the summer where everybody's doing vacations. Oh no, it was Destiny Week. That's what it was. We were doing the raid for fucking 16 hours straight. That's fucking awful. We finally finished it, though.
Speaker 1Hooray, and then I spent money.
Speaker 2I haven't spent my money yet.
Speaker 1You're going to spend your money, you know.
Speaker 2Yeah, I will. I just got to wait for a payday and then I'll feel more comfortable about spending the money on it. It's like I could do it now, but Are you having?
Speaker 1a heart attack. Yeah, it looks like you're struggling there, bud I was. Do you need? Do you need fucking cpr and?
Speaker 2no, I need tongue to butt, though.
Speaker 1Thank you your tongue to your butt, so you like getting your ass.
Speaker 2Hate is what you're saying well, only by cocoa.
Speaker 1Just doesn't tickle my taint when he does it that looks like a pretty tickly face over there yeah, but while he does it so masterfully that, uh, I have the most wiry beard hair out of all of us.
Speaker 4I'm pretty sure six out his tongue far enough.
Speaker 2I don't know. My beard hair gets pretty wiry when I let it grow out.
Speaker 1This this is as far as it grows out, and then it just curls on top of itself. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I have some hairs in here that are six inches long, if I find a good one, because when you shave it, I just shave it down to this, and then there's the one hair that was like yeah, and my fucking, my mustache hairs are just so fucking, just hard and straight. I'll also give you something else hard and straight. What hell? What's wrong, murky?
Speaker 4I think I have, therefore you are a piece of steel guessing uh-huh somewhere in your butt crevice of my elbow, oh, and.
Speaker 5I can't see it, your weenus.
Speaker 1How do you have a piece of steel in your elbow?
Speaker 4Like grinding metal, cutting metal. I got some.
Speaker 1Remember the one time that Murky brought us the story about peeling his skin and eating it.
Speaker 5Yes, yes.
Speaker 3I thought he was about to say like I got like this huge piece of skin guys.
Speaker 5One second, I gotta chow, I gotta chow goes to the kitchen, deep fries it somebody probably does that.
Speaker 4I'm sure I do have a thawed out wall lion. Sorry, how did we get there? I'm sure?
Speaker 1Actually I do have a thawed out walleye. Sorry, why did that happen? How did we get there? I?
Speaker 4was facing down. No, I have some thawed out walleye in the fridge. Okay, am I after?
Speaker 1me. I understood what you said the first time. How'd we get there?
Speaker 4You brought up deep frying. So deep fry fish, not skin, Not human skin. I'm not going to domer it. Fish skin yeah, fishy. No, the walleye does have skin on it. If you guys want, I'll put on a blonde wig and I'll drink out a gallon of milk and then Bro, I'm surprised you haven't just like how did we get here?
Speaker 2Yeah, right.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 5I'm very concerned and confused.
Speaker 1I think you've drank enough milk. Did you say you need to speak to HR? Mm-hmm? You and me both baby girl.
Speaker 5Yes, I'd like to file a formal complaint against Mark's daddy.
Speaker 4God damn it.
Speaker 3Stop, stop complain against Mark's daddy?
Speaker 2God damn it. Yes, mrs Murky's mom, I'd like to file a complaint against him. Yep, I guess so.
Speaker 4I don't think it is.
Speaker 5At least he changes your voice after a while.
Speaker 2Yeah, hell does change your voice. They're having fucking connection issues.
Speaker 3When you become Satan's secretary, your voice changes a lot, you're going to sound fucking stupid. So what did my son do?
Speaker 2now he said that he was going to throw on a blonde wig and drink some milk and do a little dancey dance and uh, made me uncomfortable. Bro, that's key as hell, Don't do that bro, that's gay as hell, I fucking can't
Speaker 4you gotta commit to being my dead mom in hell.
Speaker 2I mean, he's not your dead mom in hell, though, bick, come on. He's not your dead mom in hell, though I'm not. I'm just the person who gets their fucking.
Speaker 1That means, your mom just stuck her hand up my ass.
Speaker 4Oh, she had the signature red pointy nails.
Speaker 2How's it feel to have Coco as your stepdad now?
Speaker 1Apparently.
Speaker 5At the very least your mom's boy toy.
Speaker 4Like a step-slave.
Late Night Banter and Stories
Speaker 2I could see Coco being Murky's mom's boy toy.
Speaker 4She's probably going to hit you with her fake leg.
Speaker 5That's what she?
Speaker 1stuck up, she fucking untwisted it and why does it take this like? And either she takes like the big, like thigh end that like, because like hers is above the knee, so it's like she, she has a different way she has to do it than saying she sticks it up and then screws it into my asshole.
Speaker 4They made a special fucking adapter. When it comes out, it does the whole A threaded pyramid of doom.
Speaker 1A leg drill, that's fucking game Of asshole penetration.
Speaker 2When it comes out it makes a suction cup like pop sound. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4It sounds like this it sounded like a real tiny little moan in the distance.
Speaker 3more than anything, Huh, what the hell is that? The fuck, this fucking game's out.
Speaker 2Go get the blonde wig now.
Speaker 3Go get the blonde wig your mom gave the approval.
Speaker 1I have a red cape hey, you promised blonde wig yeah, dude, he's gonna just fucking have a strawberry wig because he's gonna have so much strawberry milk and just fucking pass the fuck out on the next dragon ball z dude every time I see him with fucking milk. I'm just like why are you doing this to yourself? I love milk, but, like you, drink so much.
Speaker 4I'm telling you, what I really think it is is from like wrestling, like when I would be able to eat and shit, and this was for like five years, year after year, because I'd wrestle year round. When I could eat or drink anything at a certain time, dude, I would fucking just inhale it and try to get like the most like enjoyment out of it as quickly as I could, because I wasn't supposed, because I'm not supposed to have it, and then fucking go yak or you know.
Speaker 1And now you just fucking do it, and you hurt.
Speaker 4Yeah, every time I drink milk, dude, it's like that. First like gulp hits. It's literally like something in my brain is just like pounded as fast as you fucking humanly can.
Speaker 1I'm surprised your piss doesn't look like straight.
Speaker 4I've only ever fractured one bone my entire life. I fractured my collarbone once, nothing ever, and I should have multiple times.
Speaker 2I've never broken a bone and I haven't drank nearly as much milk as you.
Speaker 1I also have never broken a bone, and I play hockey, all the milk.
Speaker 4I have never broken a bone and I play hockey All the milk Murky.
Speaker 2I'm just sounding like there's no correlation.
Speaker 4That's why I'm so thick, that's why, the fuck in my ass.
Speaker 1I do drink a lot of milk, but not as much as you do on a nightly basis.
Speaker 5I don't drink any milk. I'm the fattest one of us all.
Speaker 1But, murky, I'm surprised that your fucking piss isn't literally cum-colored at this point with how much milk you drink.
Speaker 5No, he would be pissing stones like calcium stones. I'm surprised he hasn't like developed 30 of them in his kidneys.
Speaker 4Nah, I'm gonna knock on this fucking desk and say uh, jinx me. Never given birth, though please don't you never given birth.
Speaker 1Out your penis, it's not fun it's not fun.
Speaker 4Like my dad is, like the toughest motherfucker I know, kind of deal and that fucking put him down and fucking had him crying like go into the hospital, like I don't know, what's wrong, but I'm.
Speaker 2I need to go to the hospital yeah, my dad's the same way that, like he will not go to the hospital or like, yeah, exactly, I've never seen. Yeah, he had a kidney stone years of life.
Speaker 4Yeah except that one time.
Speaker 2Yeah, he's like he had a kidney stone. Yeah, my dad said the same thing. He was like I thought I was dying.
Speaker 4He's like I was in so much pain. Your dad's in the hospital. We're trying to figure stuff out. I was fucking ready to fucking get ready Turns out.
Speaker 1We gotta take a claw and shove it up his dick to grab the stone.
Speaker 2And most of the time they just tell you bite the pillow bitch and fucking pass it. I went to a hospital recently for a completely different reason.
Speaker 1I wasn't I wasn't in any pain, I just was literally fucking passing out. My heart was, rate was going up and I had no idea what was going on and I was like, hey guys caught, I want one. I don't know what's going on, I feel like I'm good. Well, I mean, I literally also talk like that too, because I couldn't fucking say anything.
Speaker 4Where were we. I saw a wolf today. After I hacked the government, I said, oh yeah, oh yeah, hi, there they.
Speaker 5What's worse is it was his friend saying that on his stream and it was all like he wasn't even being ironic. He was being very sincere with everything he was saying.
Speaker 2It was not satire whatsoever, rere.
Speaker 1Fucking ASL.
Speaker 2You're about to unleash the darkness inside.
Speaker 5I'm gonna come back with a vengeance against these guys, because they have unleashed the darkness inside of me.
Speaker 4I don't know why.
Speaker 5The voices just made me think of this when he started talking about how he what we used to work for the government and made a code that could destroy all the computers in the United States, I felt like I had to share that in the group chat because I needed Coco's reaction, because I knew he'd have a meltdown then I say who's something you would say when you were in like grade school didn't I say who the fuck is this guy?
Speaker 5please never let me talk to him yes, something like that, something along those lines, good point.
Speaker 2Everybody, though, is pretty cool.
Speaker 1You know that you don't make a code to hack the government or whatever the fuck he said Doesn't work like that.
Speaker 5Well, he said that he worked for the government. Have you worked for the government?
Speaker 1I work for a fucking bank. I own the government, yeah, but he literally works for the government. Have you, woodaway, worked for the?
Speaker 5government. I worked for a fucking bank. I own the government, yeah, but he, woodaway, works for the government.
Speaker 1Let him cook, let him cook, let him cook.
Speaker 3Let him cook.
Speaker 1Lock it in.
Speaker 2Lock it in. Did I tell you guys the story of Lock it In and why Murky keeps saying it now?
Speaker 4no, yeah, have you guys heard this? Oh no, I haven't heard the story.
Speaker 1All I know is we were in the rain and we started doing it lock it the fucking.
Speaker 4So I need you here.
Uber Drama and Christmas Party Planning
Speaker 2I need you here right now I was at the bar and, um, I was with a group of friends, old co-workers and stuff and there was another larger group of people that were a couple tables away from us and we were outside in like the patio area and this larger group, other group, like uh, started slowly dissipating and they were all getting in their own cars and leaving. It was down to one guy and one girl and this guy had ordered and called an uber. When the uber gets there, this girl's fucking piss drunk, like cannot hardly function, piss drunk, and she's like sitting at this picnic table, just like looking in front of her at the ground, and this guy's like, all right, hey, yeah, uber's here and stuff, and like we gotta go. And she just starts throwing up on the ground and it was like felt so terrible for this girl because she's like she had a bit to drink and she was fucking going through it.
Speaker 2And this guy like walks over and apologizes the uber driver, real quick. He's like I'm just trying to get her like be a few minutes of stuff. Like all right, dude's handling this pretty well, but then he just like flips script, turns into a complete asshole. He's like, hey, hey, I need you to lock it in. I need you to lock it in. Look at me, lock it in right now. I need you to lock it in uber's here we're like what the fuck is this guy's fucking problem? This girl's just like fucking annihilated drunk and he's just like lock it in. I need you to lock it in right now. We need, we need to go lock it in.
Speaker 1Come on, if I get piss-ass drunk at the bachelor party, I want you to fucking do that to me.
Speaker 2I want you to fucking go lock it in, lock it in. Hey, look at me, look at me the next round of shots is here.
Speaker 4Lock it in and then we have to get this taxi.
Speaker 2Let's go yeah, I was like what the fuck is this guy's problem? We're like, um, one of the girls from our group went over and was like sitting with her and talking to her own, was like about to be like hey, like if you want to just leave her here, like we'll take care of her and make sure she gets home, like you can fucking take her on her own, like we'll take care of her and like make sure she gets home, but like you're not helping at all right now. Um, and this guy ended up just like picking her up and putting her in the back seat of this uber and they left. He was like I'm paying for the super by the minute, so lock it in lock it in.
Speaker 3Yeah, I was like.
Speaker 2I don't think that's how fucking uber works, man wow, lock it in. Lock it in lock it in.
Speaker 1That is fucking hilarious and awful at the same time.
Speaker 4Oh no, the snaps are loud enough.
Speaker 1No, the snaps are loud enough.
Speaker 4It's just that you have to turn off your noise filter.
Speaker 5Noise filter my balls into your unfiltered mouth. That's fucked up. Why would you say that? Murky Damn, uh-uh, uh-uh.
Speaker 3Uh-uh, what yeah?
Speaker 2me that's fucked up. Why would you say that, murky?
Speaker 4damn. Uh, uh, uh, uh. What, yeah me? How can I say that? Oh, you're dicking my ass, that happened. No, after my super cool shadow warriors protected xeno After my super cool shadow warriors protected.
Speaker 1Xeno, I see you found the fart sound again. Yeah, it misboosted the server, so it's back. I thought about moving it to a higher priority because that's obviously way more funny than some of the sounds we have, and this one was also gone, oh you're dicking my ass. Man, we can't have that. I feel, like we could have suffered some of the other ones.
Speaker 3No, it's funny.
Speaker 1I'm so scared you don't get me.
Speaker 4That's me at peak. I don't want to die right now in Death's Lane.
Speaker 2I'm just going to mess you up. I rolled a one. That's me at peak. I don't want to die right now in death's name. It's been an hour.
Speaker 1It has been an hour already. I mean we could keep going. We usually go for like an hour, like 20 or so I do yeah, usually I don't really pay attention no, no.
Speaker 2Yeah Well, Mercury's going to the creamery this weekend, oh hell yeah, baby, yep, I need, I need the milk.
Speaker 4Imagine I need ice cream.
Speaker 5Is it the root beer milk?
Speaker 2No, you're not going to get the root beer milk. No, have you tried it?
Speaker 4No.
Speaker 2You need to get a little bottle of root beer milk.
Speaker 4I'll try a little tiny one.
Speaker 5It tastes like root beer float yeah.
Speaker 2Just get a little tiny one. You don't need a whole gallon of it because it's too sweet. It will give you the diabetes, yeah.
Speaker 5It's really sweet.
Speaker 2It is very tasty, like the little little baby bottles.
Speaker 4Perfect, okay, so I'll grab one of those. I'm going to grab a whole gallon of 2%. I'm going to grab a whole gallon of chocolate.
Speaker 2What about the?
Speaker 4strawberry. Actually I might get half 2%, half whole what? And maybe a half gallon of strawberry or two. I'm going to go with like two and a half gallons of milk.
Speaker 2You got to take it in your bottles to exchange them too.
Speaker 4Yeah, I got to.
Speaker 2They're all cleaned out and shit.
Speaker 4I got them. They're all cleaned out and shit, I gotta clean mine out, so, nah, it's gonna be super hard to clean. Yeah, you're right, but goddammit dude, that stash of beards is like a fuckin' Tyrite. Now, zeno, I got it cleaned up yesterday.
Speaker 2Yeah, looks good. Shit, I was supposed to tell you too I was getting my hair, my haircut, and there was a few others there and, uh, you know, chris will keep spear in the fridge in the back, yeah, yeah uh. She was like talking about fuck yeah, we're having a fucking party right now. I was like, dude, you should have like a winter, like a christmas party or something like that, with just your clients. She goes fuck yeah, dude, we would have such a fucking great time. I was like I 100% know Murky would be in. She's like, fuck yeah, you, fucking Murky, these guys, like another guy and like some of these chicks, we'd have a fucking blast. That's a good fucking idea. I was like, hell yeah, crystal. So she's like I might actually fucking do this. We might have a fucking Christmas party at the slot.
Speaker 4And I was like, fuck yeah, let's do it, that'd be dope Crystal's a fucking riot yeah, I need to uh go in there soon yeah get a little fuzzy. I'm saying when the chest pubes connect to the neck, fro yeah Into a whole turtleneck sweater. He knows what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2Did you see Tenacious D's playing? I did.
Speaker 4I did see that dude. I want to go.
Speaker 2I think we should look at tickets, or what do you think?
Speaker 3think we should look at tickets.
Speaker 2Let's look them up. Let's look them up real quick ADHD goes to Tenacious D Jack Black.
Speaker 3Tell me an hour away from me.
Speaker 4Tenacious D. Will you swing through Jack Black An hour away from me? They should be. We just swing through scooping real fast.
Speaker 2The Australia Bloomington Clumbles. Let's see what we got here.
Speaker 5I need. Let's see what we got here. Are you shitting?
Speaker 4me, I wouldn't shit you these tickets are cheap as shit. No, they're not. Yeah, they are, they're not cheap e-tix.
Speaker 2It's probably because ticket maps on their website, like off of their tour website. Let's see. What's is it? The stage is that I knew we could do it like there, right yeah. Oh shit, oh shit, I have tickets.
Speaker 1Give me a goddamn second. When's Miles and Mattman coming up here? I know we're doing something in the fall, apparently, where we're just having a big fuck party at my house.
Speaker 4Big fuck this upcoming weekend, but I work Friday.
Speaker 1Well, I mean we all canceled that Murky.
Speaker 4Because it was no. No, I'm sorry, not this week. Next weekend, Down to Matman's.
Speaker 5He's talking about the 4th.
Speaker 1Got it. You just not show up to work on Friday. Hope they forgive you.
Speaker 4I have to run the shop all next week because my service manager, the old man, is on vacation all week.
Speaker 1Tell him not to be yeah 5 be yeah, yeah. Fivehead, yeah, you fucking Fivehead, you stupid motherfucker, you Fivehead having ass when?
Speaker 3are we, where are we, where are we?
Speaker 2Oh, there's one ticket. How is there one ticket available?
Speaker 4What the fuck? What happened? Fucking E oh there's one ticket.
Speaker 2How's there one? What happened, fucking e?
Speaker 1simulator check the fucking. Oh, jesus christ chat you know, intoxicated driver oh, that's fucked up oh jesus bro. Intoxicated driver become or stay as an alcoholic, to try and try to avoid the cops while competing to get as drunk as possible, or be the cop and arrest your friends for breaking the law. Race against friends or the clock, where drinking is mandatory for all racers sounds like Mario Kart on a Friday tickets are $82 a piece, but let me show you let me show you where these tickets be at.
Speaker 2Tickets are sold out, of course right. Let me show you. Let me show you where these tickets be at. Tickets are sold out, of course right. Let me see. Share your screen for October yeah so hang on wait.
Speaker 1Is this literally just like a virtual drinking game?
Speaker 2maybe because so stages here. Yeah, these tickets are here in section 9. They're like up here, okay, or we could see like back here. What are these running? $62 all right guys.
Speaker 1I have to read this review for not recommended on this game. All right, we're bringing, we're bringing back the fucking steam reviews. We're reading to read this review for not recommended on this game Alright. We're bringing back the fucking Steam reviews. We're reading this review from Monster Cat.
Speaker 4This is right a week or so after the wedding.
Speaker 1This is for the intoxicated. Which wedding? The one that you're going to? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Are you going to listen to? Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. So you guys, are you going to listen to the story? You're paying attention?
Speaker 5Yep? No, they're not.
Speaker 1Okay, so this is for the intoxicated driver game, posted June 1st by Monster Cat. Have you ever dated a person for a really long time, like since 1992? Maybe their name was something like Hello Kitty and Sanrio Friends Racing and you and Hello Kitty and Sanrio Friends Racing got along fine. Sometimes, you'd argue. Sometimes they would drag you to a movie that you didn't want to see. Maybe you didn't like their taste in music, but things were okay right. Well, you've been dating for 23 years.
Speaker 1At this point and maybe you start to hate the way they laugh, the way they cough, the way they don't put the cat back on the toothpaste. Maybe you hate how Hello Kitty and Sanrio Friends Racing can never decide what to have for dinner, and all these little things start to build up in your mind. They start gnawing away at you and maybe one day you meet another person you think is kind of cute and you end up leaving Hello Kitty and Sanrio Friends Racing for this new person. Maybe their name is something like Intoxicated Driver. Hello Kitty and Sanrio Friends Racing doesn't even get mad at you. They don't throw your stuff out the window. They just look sad and disappointed as you walk out the door. Stuff out the window. They just look sad and disappointed as you walk out the door.
Speaker 1But after you spend one day with your new partner you realize what a terrible mistake you've made. Intoxicated driver isn't charming or clever. Intoxicated driver doesn't get your jokes. They don't seem to have any sense of humor at all. Intoxicated driver falls asleep in your bed, then immediately begins to fart and pick their nose in their sleep. Intoxicated driver falls asleep in your bed then immediately begins to fart and pick their nose in their sleep. Intoxicated driver only wants to eat at Applebee's. Intoxicated driver believes in Bigfoot and says incredibly racist things when your friends are over.
Speaker 1Intoxicated driver hasn't read a book since high school and has no opinion on any current event other than thinking Donald Trump would make a really good president. An intoxicated driver may have looked accused back when they were something you daydreamed about when you were with Hello Kitty and Sanrio Friends Racing, but after just one day you realized that Hello Kitty and Sanrio Friends Racing was the best thing that ever happened to you. Hello Kitty and Sanrio Friends Racing understood you and loved you and you walked out on them. For this. You threw away the only good thing you had in your life for someone who has innumerable clipping errors and someone who has no quit option beyond pressing Alt F4. You threw away the best kart racing game for the worst. And as you sit there on the foot of your bed smoking a cigarette at 3am staring into the darkness, you realize what a fool you are. As intoxicated driver farts loudly under the sheets. You know Hello Kitty and Sanrio Friends Racing will take you back. They will forgive you, but deep down you also know that you no longer deserve them.
Speaker 1Not recommended what. That was incredibly deep. I feel like this person needs some therapy for some other deep-rooted issues.
Speaker 1Whoever made this game was trying to make a statement. Also. Next review by Terminid Hunter Recommended just like real life, the dead family of four I ran over After pounding a bottle of Jack Daniels On March 12th 2004 Damn.
Speaker 2That's fucked.
Speaker 3Wow.
Speaker 1So Wow, so, oh shit, that's a lot After the long-winded one we get. Yeah, I murdered a family by drinking and driving, sounds about right. I miss looking at the. We used to do that. Every now and then we look at like random Steam games and pop up the reviews and see a gem like this See who shits all over it. Oh, that Hello Kitty one is pretty fucking good. Um, it got the funny award for sure. Basically, if somebody was willing to write a story that long, that actually kind of made sense. Sense probably indicates it's a real review. Also, somebody recommended it and also was like probably a Bitcoin miner? Oh, the developer responded to this one. It's not, but thanks for the positive review. That's so passive-aggressive positive review.
Speaker 2That's so passive aggressive.
Speaker 3Oh, look at Jade.
Speaker 2Be into me. She's licking his butt right now yeah.
Speaker 1I eat my own ass.
Speaker 2I remember my uncle talking to my cousin I eat my own ass.
Speaker 3I remember my uncle um like talking to my cousin, no, his dog was like licking his own balls what he did?
Speaker 2no, he didn't.
Speaker 5No, the dog was licking his balls right.
Speaker 3His dog licked his own balls. What?
Speaker 5who licked their balls? Was it Coco with the peanut butter?
Speaker 2I mean, yeah, that's not the story I'm telling right now oh, okay the dog licking his balls on the floor as dogs do, and my uncle just like, looked over to my cousin. He just goes hey, man, don't you wish you could do that? And he's like, yeah, I guess he goes, man, I bet if you go over there and pet him real nice he'll let you. I thought that was the funniest fucking shit ever when I heard it well, it's like I'm sorry, man, I'm dumb.
Speaker 2He's like look dude, he said he was. He pointed at the dog. He's like man, don't you wish you could do that? And my cousin was like yeah, I guess so, and he goes. Well, if you go over there and pet him, real nice, I better let you wow that's gay as hell oh cool, well, anybody got anything else they want to share.
Speaker 3No Nah.
Speaker 1All right, Murky, you got anything.
Speaker 4I mean you can go check out XenosHogXXXcom and show some support. That'd be great, that would be nice. Check out XenosDick XenosDickcom and show some support, that'd be great. Check out Zeno's Dick.
Speaker 1Zeno'sDickcom. I wonder if that's real.
Speaker 4Zeno's Hog. Zeno'shogxxx. Zeno's Hog. Yeah, I made it myself.
Speaker 3Oh.
Speaker 1Alright, well, goodbye everybody, goodbye.