Josh Bailey: 0:00

Hey, Psych Bytes with CCS is a weekly podcast hosted by Student Life Counseling and Consultation Service. This show is dedicated to discussing a wide range of topics pertaining to mental health commonly experienced in the college setting. It is important to note that this podcast is not a substitute for therapy. All of the topics on this show, while discussed by professionals are strictly psycho educational, and meant to inform listeners on available resources, skills and support. Topics on this show can be sensitive in nature. And should you find yourself needing additional support or resources, please visit ccs.osu.edu or call us at 614-292-5766. With that in mind, enjoy the show. What is up everybody and welcome to Psych Bytes with CCS. My name is Josh and today we are once again joined by Jennifer Lang, a licensed independent social worker with a supervisory designation and the Assistant Director of Clinical Services here at CCS. Welcome back for a fourth time.

Jennifer Lang: 1:21

Oh goodness, I promise this is the last one.

Josh Bailey: 1:24

I doubt it. I want to have you back for more. Today's episode is a little bit different in that we aren't necessarily directing this towards students rather we are dedicating or directing this episode to parents and family of students.

Jennifer Lang: 1:40

Yeah, so I think that this is a really important topic, because while students are in a position to make their own decisions about things like mental health services and resources, parents and family members play a really vital role in supporting their students and getting, you know, connected to resources and checking in with them about how they're doing.

Josh Bailey: 2:08

So let's talk a little bit about that. Why is parent/family involvement so helpful? Like students are coming here learning how to be independent, learning how to take care of themselves, learning how to be, quote, unquote, "adults"? So what is the family role in that?

Jennifer Lang: 2:24

Great question. So I think, you know, as parents and family members, it can be really hard. It can be a really big transition to go from being your child's, who is now an adult, their kind of whole support system, right? For most of their childhood. But as they're coming to campus, right, and as they've probably progressed through adolescence, they have a whole lot of other supports as well. And so what I'll often explain to parents is that you are able to help and support your student in ways that I as a therapist cannot, right? So I might be able to do assessment and intervention work around different symptoms and concerns and give feedback. That's from a clinical perspective. That can be helpful, right? But as a parent or a family member, you are able to do things like informally check in with your student about how they're doing, give them giving them encouragement from your perspective, as a parent or a family member. You're also able to maybe even connect with them personally about things that you've struggled with that you've kind of persevered through. That perspective is helpful in a different way than what therapists can provide. So I often argue that we need all hands on deck, right kind of working together, even if we're doing things differently, or separately, to support students and their mental health.

Josh Bailey: 4:00

So what are some things that parents or family can do? What might be some examples that might be really pertinent or useful in this situation?

Jennifer Lang: 4:11

So I think just opening the door and making conversation about mental health and well-being part of a common conversation, right? So that reduces the stigma, right? It, it encourages students to think about, it's normal for me to be talking about, so that when and if there is a problem, if there is a concern, then you've already made yourself a very welcome or supportive person in their life to have those conversations.

Josh Bailey: 4:46

And I feel like that can be a difficult conversation to have as a parent because we want our children to be well and to hear that my child, my, my family member is struggling or not doing well, it can be a really sensitive type of conversation to try to bring up or try to navigate into. Do you have any tips or tricks that can help? Maybe bring up that conversation in a way that doesn't feel as invasive or uncomfortable or whatever word I'm looking for here?

Jennifer Lang: 5:17

Or accusatory, right? Like, we don't want to seem like we're coming from a punitive angle, right? So I think, again, like what I just said, where, if we're having these conversations regularly, both about stressors and positive things, we're making the conversation happening, something that's just a regular part of our relationship, right? Versus if we don't talk about it at all, and then all of a sudden, I'm only talking to you, Josh, right, about it when I think it's a problem.

Josh Bailey: 5:47

Right.

Jennifer Lang: 5:48

Or I'm concerned. Versus it's just a normal part of our check-ins. Okay, I check in with you, as you know, the parent or the family member about how I'm doing and feeling, so I'm modeling it, too, right? So that my child or my student understands that this is something that people go through, that people experience. I think another way to approach it is just saying things that you've observed, if there are things you're concerned about, or you have questions about, right? So really talking about it through the lens of observation and curiosity. Right? So that point of curiosity, I think, is really important. Because folks aren't as likely to become highly defensive or feeling threatened,

Josh Bailey: 6:41

Yeah.

Jennifer Lang: 6:41

When we're approaching it in a gentle and sort of questioning minded way.

Josh Bailey: 6:48

So what about if we approach the conversation like that? I'm kind of gently probing or pointing things out that I'm noticing— what if my kid's like,"I don't want to talk about it, I don't wanna talk about it. I don't wanna talk about it. Nothing's wrong. Nothing's wrong. I'm fine. Don't bring it up." How do I— How do I respect their boundaries or privacy, but at the same time, be there?

Jennifer Lang: 7:12

Yeah, so I think, taking that in and hearing that with some humility, but also recognizing, you know, as a parent or family member that can feel really stressful, right? And so, I think, offering the student saying, you know, "I hear you. It sounds like you're not ready to talk about this right now. Please know that I am here, when you need me. When you want to share, please reach out." Or letting them know that they can share what they feel comfortable with with me while understanding that they might not want to share the whole story. Right? I think another option is certainly saying,"Okay, if you don't want to talk to me right now, here are some other resources or things to consider, if you would feel more comfortable, more open, in these spaces or with these resources."

Josh Bailey: 8:12

Okay. All right. So, if I am a parent, and I'm struggling to hold these conversations with my student, or a family member, and I'm having difficulty holding these conversations, are there any resources here, like at CCS, or at OSU that I might be able to tap into that could be helpful, or educational, or supportive?

Jennifer Lang: 8:34

Absolutely. So on our CCS website, we actually have a Parents and Family, like,"How to Support Your Loved Ones" page on our website, because again, we think it's really, really invaluable how parents and family can support students' mental health and their well being. So I think that page is a really great place to start. Another more kind of interactive option is I actually do a drop in workshop over zoom once a month for parents and family members of OSU students. And it's basically explaining what all of the resources across our campus community are for mental health and well being. And the nice thing about that is these are resources that maybe you and your student got, you know, when you were at orientation, right? Like, but that might have been forever ago, or you weren't really thinking about mental health at the time. And so this is kind of a nice refresher, while also giving you some new information about what your student's concerns might look like, specifically, and how to access the resources that match those concerns.

Josh Bailey: 9:49

And this drop in workshop is a newer thing. You just started it this past semester, right?

Jennifer Lang: 9:54

Yes. So I started it this academic year in the fall, so I hold it once a month. It's typically on like the third

Thursday of the month at 4: 10:02

30, Eastern Standard Time. If you go on to that website that I was speaking about, there's a registration link on there. You don't have to sign up super ahead of time, there's no deadline, you could literally sign up for it the same day or an hour before and attend.

Josh Bailey: 10:22

And what's the experience been like, from your observations, as the person facilitating it? What have you seen with the families kind of coming in? Has it been a supportive environment? What's it like?

Jennifer Lang: 10:33

So I think the feedback I've gotten is, it's a lot of very helpful information. Because, again, OSU, it's a blessing and a curse, there are so many resources available, and it can be hard to know like to remember all of them, or to think about the ones that are really going to be the best fit or most interesting for your students.

Josh Bailey: 10:57

Right.

Jennifer Lang: 10:57

So I think it helps give that perspective a little bit more, not just an overview, but being able to think about the resources for your students specifically.

Josh Bailey: 11:09

And as a family member, do I have opportunities to ask questions? Can I bring stuff to the table during these?

Jennifer Lang: 11:15

Absolutely. So we really want to have participation, I really enjoy that. There's time throughout the workshop to ask any questions that you have, or comments. The one thing we do set as kind of a rule for the workshop is that I encourage parents and family members not to share any private health information about their student in the workshop. And that's because it's a group setting. And I really want to make sure we're protecting students, their privacy, things like that. However, we do talk about in the workshop, how parents can reach out to me and CCS in general to get consultation about supporting their students specific needs. So how to consult. Right, so Counseling and Consultation Service. So consultation is in our name, because we take calls all the time from concerned or curious faculty, staff, family members, other OSU students who have concerns about another student. So we talked about how to do that, and do that effectively in a way that supports your student while also respecting their privacy.

Josh Bailey: 12:29

A very invaluable resource. And, you know, kudos to you for getting that off the ground and having it successfully run for this past academic year. So as we get close to wrapping up for today's episode, do you have any final highlights or points that you'd want to touch on?

Jennifer Lang: 12:43

The last thing that I would say is not to wait until your student is in crisis, right? Or you've kind of reached this later kind of stage of concern, but to really be proactive in having these conversations, in kind of setting the tone, setting the stage for your student to be able to come to you or have these discussions openly. And if you're not sure where to start, I think coming to that parent workshop can be a really good place. You could consider even listening to more of Josh's Psych Bytes podcasts, which I think could be a really useful resource if your student maybe has a recent diagnosis, or has concerns, or maybe spoken to you about, I don't know, do I have OCD? Or maybe they've shared they have body image concerns. You can listen to the podcasts and maybe get some more psycho-education and information that can help you support your student better.

Josh Bailey: 13:47

So thanks for the plug,

Jennifer Lang: 13:48

Of course.

Josh Bailey: 13:49

Yeah. And again, thank you for, once again, joining us today and sharing what I consider be invaluable resources and a wealth of information.

Jennifer Lang: 13:57

Thank you.