PsychBytes with CCS

Suicide Prevention: REACHing Out to OSU Parents & Families

• Josh Bailey, LPCC-S

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Laura Lewis, LPCC-S, Assistant Director of Suicide Prevention and Jennifer Lang, LISW-S, Assistant Director of Clinical Services with Counseling and Consultation Services at Ohio State come together to discuss Suicide Prevention Programming and REACH trainings at OSU. This specific episode is tailored to the parents and families of students at OSU. 


Suicide Prevention at OSU: https://suicideprevention.osu.edu/ 

Parent and Families Workshop: https://ccs.osu.edu/supporting-your-student/family-and-loved-ones

Josh:

PsychBytes with CCS is a weekly podcast hosted by Student Life's Counseling and Consultation Service. This show is dedicated to discussing a wide range of topics pertaining to mental health commonly experienced in the college setting. It is important to note that this podcast is not a substitute for therapy. All of the topics on this show, while discussed by professionals, are strictly psychoeducational and meant to inform listeners on available resources, skills, and support. Topics on this show can be sensitive in nature, and should you find yourself needing additional support or resources, please visit ccs.osu.edu or call us at 614-292-5766. With that in mind, enjoy the show.

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Josh:

What is up everyone, and welcome to Psych Bites with CCS. My name is Josh, and today we have with us Jennifer Lang, the Assistant Director of Clinical Services with Counseling and Consultation Service, and Laura Lewis, a licensed professional clinical counselor who is the director for the Suicide Prevention Program here at The Ohio State University. Today we are, again, going to be talking about the Suicide Prevention Program and suicide in general, which is a very sensitive topic. And so I think to maybe start off as we talk to our listeners. Laura, if you could talk a little bit about what this program is, who it's geared towards, and maybe some of the services that we offer. Yeah.

Laura:

So I will start by saying I've been a Buckeye for many years, also here at the university in this role for eight years. And it's an amazing job to have. So I just want to share that I love my work and really care about the university and creating this campus culture of care. Yeah, the Suicide Prevention Program has roots actually going back to 2006. So we've been around for a while. And over the years, we've been able to grow to a pretty big infrastructure and to be able to offer a lot of different programs and opportunities for not just students, but staff and faculty as well. We're in the space of prevention, not intervention, which is to say that education, advocacy, and outreach are the buckets that we live in. And so really what we're trying to do on campus is to get in on the front end of the problem. We don't want student, staff, and faculty to attempt or complete or to be in levels of distress that we can't witness and support. And so a lot of our energy goes into educating campus on how to recognize the signs of distress and what you should do about it. We have a specific program called REACH, which is a 90-minute in-person training where students, staff, and faculty can learn to notice those signs and what they should do, how to get people access to care, what to say, what not to say, and really just to learn more about suicide and how you can play a part in reducing that risk.

Josh:

So with this REACH training, is that specifically for faculty and staff of OSU? Is this going to students? Is this going to families? How does that work?

Laura:

It's for students, staff, and faculty. So anybody who is a part of our Buckeye community can get trained, and you actually get a certificate. You get a pin. We really see that as an opportunity for people to learn some new skills and actually put them into action. And I can't think of anybody in our Buckeye community that would not benefit from that.

Josh:

Jennifer, you You are also involved here with us today. And I think maybe you could kind of speak a little bit to maybe CCS's efforts and how we are involved with this.

Jennifer:

Yeah, so I'll say that Laura has always done a really great job with overseeing all of suicide prevention on campus. And she recently joined CCS in our unit. And so it provided a really interesting point of collaboration. So I work a lot with parents and family members of OSU students. And it really got kind of my gears turning on like, what about if we offer something to parents and family members? Because I think that parents and family members have a really unique perspective and buy in to student and campus mental health in general. And so Laura and I really started talking about this and Laura had previously been thinking about this as well. So it just was kind of a unique vantage point to me. kind of come together on. I think going back to the podcast I've previously done for parents and families, I kind of see this opportunity for suicide prevention within parents and families as kind of an elevation from our drop in workshop, right? You come and get to know resources. But this is really the next step where we're talking about saving lives.

Josh:

Reach is looking at prevention, right? versus intervention. When I think of prevention, I think of communication. And I think communication can start at home. And so today, I think it would be good for us to really direct our conversation to families and parents of students here at Ohio State. And maybe we can start by discussing, well, just that. How do you discuss the concept of suicide with your students?

Laura:

Yeah. I think that there's a really a unique opportunity here for us to involve parents in suicide prevention and our community. And so really grateful to be able to speak to that. You know, I think one of the things I would say is that there are a lot of myths about suicide and those myths contribute to stigma, which is the number one reason why people don't seek help. People think it's money. They think it's resources. They think it's access to those resources. And it is, those are always in the top five, but the number one reason why people don't get the care that they rightfully deserve is stigma. because it continues to prevail. I mean, we're making some strides for sure, but we still have to keep chipping away at that. And sometimes, to be honest, parents struggle with that. Maybe they're even harboring their own self-stigma around the topic or around mental health at large. They, like everybody else, might feel uncomfortable using the word suicide. They may be afraid that if they bring it up, that somehow that's going to create a distressed moment. And so going back to those myths, one of the things that we know is that when you ask someone directly about suicide, which in this case could be your own student, you're not going to cause them to complete suicide or to attempt suicide. The research is very, very clear on that. It's actually the opposite. Many people who are walking around in distress are simply hoping that someone will notice that they're struggling and create a pathway for that conversation to happen. And so parents are uniquely positioned, of course, to be able to recognize signs and symptoms, but whether or not they know what to do about is a different story. And so in our line of work, again, going back to education, we're really trying to give people language to increase confidence about using that language so that the reach out happens when it needs to. Because it's one thing to educate people on statistics and signs and symptoms. It's another to empower people to actually take action. And so I find, and certainly in my clinical work outside of Ohio State, that parents are often very tuned in to a lot of things about their kids, but when it comes to mental health challenges, it's not that they don't care; you all care very much, but the confidence isn't as much there as perhaps they would like it to be in order to have a frank conversat And perhaps pushing your student to complete or to attempt. I would challenge us to think about that differently because it's just not the case. It doesn't work that way.

Jennifer:

For a parent, right? I think I talked about this in the last workshop. Just making mental health part of your check-in with your student as a regular conversation is a really good proactive way to start, right? Because it kind of is an invitation to your student for them to know. Right. That you are somebody that is, you know, destigmatizing talking about mental health challenges. And maybe you're also modeling to your student how mental health impacts you, how you've dealt with it, similarly to suicide. Right. Like if that's something that you have had thoughts about before. Right. I think being honest with people in our lives so that we can model that there's a way to work through this. Right. I think having that regular conversation. conversation is that open door so that when we are noticing things that are maybe out of character or concerning to us, it is helping us kind of step into that position to have more of the difficult conversations from a place of care, a place of wanting to assist and help. And again, Laura can really speak to this. We're not asking folks to be therapists, to be a treatment provider or a hospital. We're really opening the door to having the conversation I encourage parents to think about approaching the conversation. To give the person that acknowledgment and then the next steps from there are in the hands of somebody who is a provider. Right. Kind of similar to CPR. So I think that that is one way I encourage parents to think about approaching the conversation. But I know that there are some challenges for parents specifically, right, with that internal, internalized stigma of, you know, what's the best way to approach the conversation. Gosh, like, I'm the parent of this person experiencing suicidal thoughts. Did I do something to cause this? Is there, you know, some something defective in me as a parent, right? And so that kind of thought process or stigma, right, might cause us to come from a place of, well, I'm, I'm going to back off of asking about it, or I want to avoid having this conversation, not because we don't want to help our student, but because it can feel really painful. So I think going back to kind of Laura's part about how we can work to take the stigma of suicide, of mental health out of our own vantage points as parents can really help us then step into the role of being that helper to our students.

Josh:

Considering the multitude of challenges that can come with Having a conversation about such a sensitive and oftentimes considered taboo topic, you know, that is suicide. I like the idea of just making it a regular normalized part of your conversing with your student, with your child, with someone in your life. But we all know when it comes to anxiety, like it's that anticipation of that first time that I have to do something that is uncomfortable. So my question is, what might be some good strategies or good questions or good ways to just open up that conversation? How do I have that conversation for the first time so that I can start normalizing it and making it something that is easier to approach and navigate?

Laura:

Yeah, I can start with this. And I know Jennifer is going to tag into. So I think one thing to consider is there's two ways that that conversation can happen. One, you can broach the conversation because as a parent, you notice a moment and you want to take that moment. But the opposite can be true to, a student or your child could come to you and say, hey, I'm struggling. I need to broach this with you. And so I think there's different strategies that work in either of those directions. One of the first things I would say is just to remember that we all have mental health, we all don't have mental health disorders. And so if we think about it sort of on a macro level, as Jennifer was just saying, it really and you were just saying to we can just normalize this as an everyday part of our lives. It's a system in our body, just like other systems that we check in on with doctors with other people. that care about us. And so if we can not put it in a box of like the scary conversation box that's so different from everything else that we talk about, I think that helps just to sort of put it on the playing field with everything else. So we're just talking about mental health and we're just thinking about it as a check-in. If I am observing something that seems, as Jennifer said, out of character or is pointing to distress, a first approach I might take is to be observational. So I might just sort of say, I'm noticing this. I'm picking up on this. I watched this happen the other day or as you got home this weekend to hang out with or whatever it may be. Instead of trying to pinpoint the exact symptom or the exact thing that gave you and your gut a reason to ask that question, I sometimes call it a hot air balloon approach. Come from the top and look down on the situation and just simply point out some things that you're noticing and then ask, is what I'm noticing accurate? I saw you were tearful, Is there something going on there that might have precipitated that? I noticed that your meal plan doesn't seem to be changing in terms of eating. Is there something maybe there that I can help you with? And so not having an attitude of judgment, but an attitude of curiosity, I think helps to create a better pathway for that conversation. There's a point at which you are going to ask some pointed direct questions. And that's one of the things that we teach here at Ohio State is not to be afraid to ask directly about suicide. But what I would argue is that the relationship precedes that question and empathy precedes that question and understanding and you know your kid best in terms of how to maybe cultivate that conversation before you ask directly about suicide. There's a few steps that happen before that.

Jennifer:

And I talked a little bit about this, about modeling, right that as a parent I'm modeling talking about mental health, talking about suicide if that's something that's coming up, ya know, within our family system. But, I think it can also...modeling can also look like if your student comes to you and says, hey, my roommate is struggling with X, Y, and Z, or, you know, your fraternity or sorority, you know, brother or sister, you know, they're talking about suicide. I think making yourself available or known to be somebody who's going to be responsive, but not reactive in a way that is, you know, concerning for your student, right? So maybe helping support them through what them supporting their friend or family member or you know sorority fraternity might look like just kind of like builds that confidence in your relationship with your student of like okay I know I can go to my mom my dad right they're reliable to talk about these things to get some feedback to hold space for that to support your student around what that looks like so I think that that piece of modeling also helps create that foundation to have that challenging conversation when it does come up.

Laura:

I think the other thing is just to acknowledge the challenge that can be having that conversation, to take a deep breath. And it's even okay to say to your student, I don't know how to bring this up. I'm not used to having this kind of a conversation. I've maybe never brought this up before, but I care about you so deeply. I'm going to push through it. Can you give me some grace here? And just to simply just name it for what it is. It's maybe not comfortable, but it's also in that discomfort creating a channel for someone else's distress to be illuminated and for some action to be taken. So it is worth it for us to push through the discomfort to get to the other side. It's also okay just to acknowledge that this is hard.

Jennifer:

I appreciate that a lot because I think as parents, Laura, we want to show up perfectly for our students. And so sometimes when things are difficult, it's okay to give yourself a little bit of space. Like you said, take a breath, maybe even say like, I need to maybe like check in with somebody about what this might look like, or what these resources might be. Because I think that really models that you still care, even if you don't have the exact perfect, right delivery or information in that moment. So, you know, leaning into the discomfort rather than stepping back and avoiding the conversation just because you don't know exactly what to say or what the next step is.

Josh:

And that leads me to another question, then. What do a I do or say when my kid does say to me, yeah, I'm having these thoughts? Because that can be jarring. That can be shocking. I might freeze or I might go into, how do I respond to that?

Jennifer:

Yeah. So I think just acknowledging and appreciating that they were honest with you first, right? So making space to say like, you know, I'm so glad you told me and we're able to have this conversation because the concern, right, is, you know, avoidance in denial, right? So I think making space and giving feedback and appreciation for that kind of trust in that response and then talking about, you know, can we get you some help? Can we get you some assistance, right? You don't need to be the therapist. You don't need to be the hospital, the treatment provider, right? But then taking next steps to help them engage with someone who maybe has that background and experience that can, you know, work with them further. Try to understand what those thoughts look like and eventually get to some relief from those thoughts, you know, depending on what that looks like for your student.

Laura:

I think of it often as you're creating a bridge to walk over hand in hand with your student to a next destination. You aren't the final destination. And so, you know, like Jennifer was saying, being able to not appear shocked, not appear afraid to have the conversation, even if internally you are. scared or you are fighting to try to figure out the words, it's worth fumbling through them. Because again, that bridge, you may be the only person that that student trusts to create that bridge in the first place. But then acknowledging the expertise that's on the other side. And also, I've told parents this before too, if you really believe you can't have that conversation, and what I would argue is that you can with some skills, but if your heart of hearts is telling you you can't, then say to your student, I need you to have this conversation with somebody else. Can you do that? and connect them with someone that they can talk with so that you're not not promoting the conversation, but you're acknowledging that this is so difficult that you may not be the best person. And that's okay too, as long as there is another person.

Josh:

You noted that I can have that conversation even if I don't think that I can with some skills. Are there opportunities? Are there places that I can go to learn or pick some things up?

Jennifer:

So I think a really good place to start is attending that monthly parent workshop that I hold. So it’s on zoom, you can get a good sense of what the mental health and wellbeing resources are across our Ohio State campus community and beyond. We also talk about things like accessing resources, barriers, considerations that parents and families can have, but in terms of think about suicide prevention, number one you can always talk to your student about the REACH Suicide Prevention Program on campus. Maybe they're a student that has investment in getting trained, right? But Laura and I are looking at developing more opportunities for parents and family members. So it will be a specific program called Reaching Out with parents and families. And we're hoping to be able to start offering some of these opportunities within this academic year. So I would definitely be on the look out for communications from our office on the CCS website. Also through parent and family relations, we'll promote it for what those offerings will look like. But again, it will be an opportunity for parents and family members specifically to get some of that information, skills, language to allow them to kind of be that initial responder to their student when they are noticing concerns and want to have a very important dialogue about saving lives and suicide.

Laura:

Yeah, that's really exciting to be able to do this. And maybe I can break open the REACH training a little bit more for folks to kind of get a sense of what that 90 minutes would look like. So really, we're just empowering people to learn how to ask the question, are you okay? Which if you think about it, is not rocket science. Like it's a very simple question to ask. It's that confidence that gets in the way or lack thereof. And so part of what REACH aims to do is to first teach people how to recognize the signs, We talk about protective factors, we talk about risk factors, and we talk about warning signs and the differences between those, but how they overlap, because quite honestly, that's what reduces risk. So we go through that. Then we talk about the importance of empathy. And again, how can you set the tone and the moment for that conversation with anybody to let them know that you care about them and that you are worried for their well-being? Then we talk about actually how do you access resources, specific to Ohio State, of course, curriculum is nuanced specifically for us. So we're helping people to understand some of the things on campus that are available for students. We talk about hope and the importance of communicating hope because when people lose hope, we get worried. Hope is a strong protective factor against suicide risk. And so we spend a little bit of time talking about that and what you do when you sense that someone is hopeless, helpless, powerless, maybe even feeling worthless. And then we do some role play because again, going back to this idea of educating people, we know, and research bears this out, that when you do suicide prevention training, if you don't include some form of an interactive role play, the odds of those skills being used in the moment that it calls for them actually goes down. And so we spend some time actually using the word suicide and talking about scenarios that could come up and practicing that. And we nuance that depending on the audience that we're with too. So for parents, you would expect to have and role plays that are very much specific to the parenting world to try to help support you in that. And then, of course, we do some shameless plugs for things that we've got going on, other ways to be connected to the work of our program. And ultimately, we're welcoming you into the REACH family. So there's a certificate. There's a pin. You're part of a greater good on campus at that point. And to date, we've trained 32,000 students, staff, and faculty at Ohio State. So to be able to include parents in that is pretty incredible. So we look forward to seeing you at one of those opportunities.

Josh:

Where can people go to find these REACH trainings? Is there a website specifically that they can go to? Or how do we learn more?

Laura:

Yeah, so right now we have on our website a page dedicated to REACH and there is a sign-up process on there. So for students, staff, and faculty, we can take the roadshow to them. If you've got a group, we come to you. But also we plan dates and times through our program that if you don't have a group, you just want to get trained, you can come sign up pre-register and be certified that way. For parents, as Jennifer mentioned, we're going to be working out those logistics. But I would suppose it'll be very similar in that we'll preset a date and time and parents will be invited and highlighted really at that particular opportunity. So more to come on that, but we'll be building that out on the webpage.

Josh:

And Jennifer, as we are awaiting that launch, what are the days and times for the parent-family workshop?

Jennifer:

Yes. So it's typically... the third Thursday of each month from 4.30 p.m. Eastern Standard Time to 5.30 p.m. I would definitely double check again our website or the Buckeye Parent and Family Relations Communications for more information. Typically, they're announced within that same month. And parents can sign up at any time. And certainly, if we do have updated reaching out training opportunities coming up, they would be also highlighted at that monthly workshop.

Josh:

Excellent. Links to both of those sites will be added to the description of this episode, so be sure to check those out. Jennifer, Laura, thank you both so much for joining us today. To our listeners, thank you very much for checking out the episode. Keep your eyes peeled for the next one. And until next time, my name is Josh, and this has been Psych Bytes with CCS.

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