Shot 5 Times, Paralyzed, But Still Forgave Him | Politha McMillon Jr.

In this episode of Indelibly Marked, Freg sits down with Domo for a raw and honest conversation about the life he lived before and after being shot five times.

Freg opens up about being labeled the trouble child, getting suspended and expelled as a young kid, being placed in behavior programs, fighting through embarrassment and anger, and later using pills to numb what he did not want to feel.

The conversation turns deeply personal as he shares the night he was shot, how he woke up paralyzed, and why he chose forgiveness instead of revenge. He also speaks about fatherhood, learning to live from a wheelchair, grieving the loss of his sister Brittany, and discovering that his story can help somebody else before they make a decision they cannot take back.

This testimony is about accountability, grief, grace, self-discipline, and purpose.

Key themes:
Forgiveness after trauma
Life after paralysis
Fatherhood and second chances
Addiction and accountability
Childhood anger and discipline
Grief after losing a sibling
Turning pain into purpose

The goal is to leave a lasting imprint on their minds and their hearts.

We pray you’ve been Indelibly Marked.

#truecrime #truecrimecommunity #storytime #paralyzed #indeliblymarked

Dominique Kuykendall
https://youtube.com/@indelibleartsnetwork

https://www.instagram.com/indelible_rudy/

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:07

We had got into it. He thought I was dead. He tried, he stood over me and shot me three more times. You know what I'm saying? The police still said it was self-defense. Eight of us in the house. So yours, mine, and ours. My mom found a husband. My stepdad, two kids. My mom got her five. So it's like house full of kids. I wasn't the best one. I would say, like, I would say more so the trouble child. Not trouble. Like lost, miss guided. I was always doing crazy stuff like trying to run away. Like getting kicked out of school. This is like elementary. Like I'm getting 180 days suspensions in elementary. I broke this kid's face in like second grade.

SPEAKER_00 1:12

180 days?

SPEAKER_01 1:14

Yeah, so I got a that's the school year. Yeah, it is. So look, I got 180 days suspension. And my mom, she talked to the the principal, and he was like, he let me come back. You know, he gave me like 10 days and he was like, he let me come back. So when I came back after the 10 days, it was supposed to be 180 days suspension. I got in a fight with the kid and I hit him with the chair. I ain't really getting to a fight with him. I walked into the classroom, he pulled the chair out from under me. I felt embarrassed, so I got up and I beat him with the chair. They really gave me the 180 days this time. So uh my mom, she sent me to like one of these places called uh Spoffer. Okay. It's like a bull, not a boys' home, but it's like boys and girls, but it's like a boot camp type thing. Yeah, dang near. Uh I was in there. First person to ever like complete the program when they started. Like they had just opened up. They referred my mama for me to go there. I did when I was 10 years old, I was in there for six months, then got out, and I was like, I wouldn't say good. I still did, you know, child, child stuff, like steel bikes, run around the neighborhood, kids stuff. Uh when I was 14. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

Before you go, before you go, that far. Sorry to interrupt you. But I I don't want to go too far away from the boot camp type setting. Like how because you said you you finished, you was one of the first people that finished that type thing. So I want to, you know. So what was the kind of stuff they would have y'all do in holiday?

SPEAKER_01 2:48

It was like a regular living. Like you wake up, either you act right or you get you get put in like a submissive hole. And you don't want to get put in like one of them. It's like a restraint they give you. Like, either you're gonna act right or we're gonna restrain you. You know, this the discipline that your parents don't give you. So uh that's what we was getting. Most kids that I was seeing, they was in there, like really needed to be in there. I was in there because I was like, Man, you could don't embarrass me. You was reacting to that. Yeah, like that was they was really like, I'm like, dang. Yeah. So uh my first encounter when I knew, like, all right, let me, let me not, let me not trip out. It was one, this this kid, he was in there screaming, hollering. They didn't they restrained him. He in there going crazy. So they took him off. And I'm like, where they taking him? One of the people that's cool, he like, he about to get some booty juice. I'm like, what? What the fuck is that? I mean, I'm like, what about you? He like, he about to get a shot in his ass. I'm like, what is that for? He like to calm him down, man. I'm like, man, nah, hell nah, this ain't for me. Let me get right and get up out of here. Let me get right and get up out of here. Yeah. I told my mama when she came. I'm like, you ain't know they give people shots in their butt. She like, what? I'm like, she like, well, you better act right. I'm like, nah, you ain't put me in this place. I got locked up before that when I was like four years old. Okay, wait, wait. Yeah, I ain't even say nothing about that. That was I was four, about to be five, and got locked up into a crazy home like I'm telling you about now. It's a place called Two Rivers. Uh I don't even think they still open no more. That's how long ago it was. Man, somebody had called my sister who passed away, the B-word, so she's coming down the steps. I'm in, I'm in kindergarten and she in what is it, first or second grade, and I see her crying. I'm like, what's wrong, Britt? She like, he called me a uh, you know, a bitch. I'm like, ooh. She like, him, dude walking down the stairs. I jump RKOI down the stairs because you know, I used to watch wrestling. I'm talking about I done busted his all this open. I'm talking, he little kid leaking everywhere. I go to the principal office, talking about the principal with me that day, my mama with me that day, my stepdad. She like, I can't deal with you. Put me in a little crazy place. I'm in there for like probably like three weeks. They done took my my tennis shoelaces. I can't have no candy, nothing. They in there giving me black eyed peas. I was like, nah, this is at four years old. I'm like, hell no, I I gotta come home, huh? You said for two weeks? Yeah, right before I turned five years old. Okay, but I was in there for like 15 days, tops. They like, nah, that ain't nothing wrong with this kid. I'm like, I tried to tell her that. But then she locked me up. Well, I wouldn't say she locked me up again. My actions got me put back into like one of them, one of them homes. And that's why I say I was the trouble child. I was the the one that she couldn't like sit down and be like, hey, calm down. You know, because it wasn't no calming down. I was always doing something crazy.

SPEAKER_00 5:50

But for for for you, especially at the four-year-old, five-year-old time when you were defending your uh sister, you didn't you probably didn't feel like you were doing nothing wrong because you felt like you were defending your sister. So could you, did you, do you remember if you could uh at all understand why they were sending you that, sending you to that place and how it affected you after you feel like, man, I I was doing this for her. I would say I would do it again.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

I I still don't understand because I feel like if it was anybody else, you know, if any one of her other siblings was to do it, they wouldn't have been as of, you know, like like aggressive with how they handled the situation. Like, like if her big sister, you know, beat the boy up, or her her big brother beat the boy up, then I feel like it'd be like, you know, all right, they don't get in trouble as much, that's cool. I'm me, I'm in trouble. Every day in kindergarten, the teacher calling her, like, he won't sit down, he won't sit down. She like, well, sit him down. I don't know what the hell you want me to do. And then that happened, so she, nah, we're gonna figure something out quick, fast, in a hurry. And that's what it was.

SPEAKER_00 7:02

Jumping back to the boot camp, though.

SPEAKER_01 7:05

I keep saying the boot camp. It was a boy, it wasn't a boot camp. It was more called a boot. You can call it a boot camp because I wasn't at home. So yeah, I was getting disciplined from people.

SPEAKER_00 7:14

You said they was choking y'all up and I don't want to disrespect what it is.

SPEAKER_01 7:21

It was a restrain, it was a restraint. You it's you can call it a boot camp, I don't know the name for it either. I wouldn't call it a boys' home because it was girls in there too, right? But it's like a behavior center.

SPEAKER_00 7:30

That's so going back to the behavior center times. Did you see somebody? Because you said they put the young dude in booty juice and all of that stuff. Did you actually is did that actually keep you from acting up in there? Or did you have your time where they had to restrain?

SPEAKER_01 7:48

I wouldn't even, I ain't even played. I was all cool with the like the people that watched us, like every single one of them, I was cool with. They asked me, like, why you in here? I'm like, I don't know. I get in trouble a lot at school. They like, you the most normal one in here. I'm like, I know. I told my mama that she's still sent me here, therapist still sent me here. So I wouldn't say it was like I didn't, I didn't wig out. Like if I wanted something, I asked one of the staff, they get it for me. I was like, that's cool. Like I want MMs from the vending machine. My mama don't come and visit me that day, they gonna give me that shit.

SPEAKER_00 8:19

I was cool. Yeah, did you ever see something besides the you know, the booty truths thing?

SPEAKER_01 8:24

Oh, yeah, I seen it was very irregular. Yeah, he broke his tooth out because they wouldn't let him out of his room. So he like started hitting his face on the glass, like, and it was like, Man, how I explain it. So, like the glass went like this, and then it was like a window, you know, like a window out of it. He starts hitting his face on the glass. Next thing you know, he I'm talking about two frantic came out. I'm like, whoa, buddy ass tripping. I'm sitting here watching TV. I'm like, oh my god, they be in here tripping. Like, this is bad. Nah, that's that was the the one of them ones where I'm like, nah, I ain't coming back here. I ain't coming back nowhere. Don't put you lock me up, you coming with me. We ain't doing, we ain't doing we ain't doing this again.

SPEAKER_00 9:07

Yeah. And how long did you say you was in there? Six months.

SPEAKER_01 9:11

I completed the whole program. Six months. Oh my god. Man, I should have brought the booklet to show you. I'm the first member to ever complete it. Like, my mama kept the booklet. I'm like, nah, this is bad. Bad.

SPEAKER_00 9:24

And you you do um, so going back home and then like saying did your brothers and sisters get to come visit you in school? Yeah, they all came visiting. Okay. So after coming back home from something like that, are you still like kind of reckless as well?

SPEAKER_01 9:40

I still did the same shit at school. Like I was still fighting every day, getting suspended every day. Like, school was the problem. School, I house wasn't the problem. I got my ass whooped at the crib. It wasn't, it wasn't the crib. Like, yeah, I did crazy shit at the crib, like tried to run away. But I'm telling my mom, mama didn't play that crazy. Like, she uh, all right, it was school. School, she couldn't handle me at school while she's trying to go work 60 plus hours a week and take care of six kids and got to get a car for me every day at school. So that's what that's what the problem was. It wasn't it wasn't at home, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:14

What would would you did you because you seem like with the little stuff you used to do? Did you like prank your brothers and sisters a lot? Did you mess with them? Did they have to beat you up a lot?

SPEAKER_01 10:24

No, I beat the I beat the siblings up. It wasn't the big ones too. Man, can't man, cause if I'm if I'm all right, look, I wouldn't tell you a lot. I don't I'm not saying probably the only sibling that could that could fight me and like actually give me a run for my money, not here no more. And I'm that's yeah, that that wasn't the question. I'm talking about she don't never get tired. We'll be fighting for two. I remember my pops locked us outside on the trampoline. He like, y'all don't want to stop fighting? All right, y'all gonna stay out here. We thought he was playing. We tried to go in the house. He done locked this outside. So we mad he done locked this outside. We on the trampoline doing wrestling moves on each other. I'm talking about she done blacked both my eyes. I done knocked out her her, you know, two teeth back here. I called my mama. I'm like, he won't let us in the house. She like, what you mean? I'm like, he locked us outside. She like, what the hell you mean? Hold on, I'm about to come home because she worked at Chumpy's on 39th and Brown. Yeah. I don't know if you're familiar with that. Oh, for sure. I'm talking about I took her about 10 minutes to get home. By that time, he had come outside to do something. So me and my sister ran in the house while he was in there, locked his ass up. She came home, we hear, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada. You lock my kids outside. He like, yeah, I told their ass, stop fighting. I'm telling my steppop's calm as hell. Told him stop fighting. She came in there, she looked at us. She like, what the hell happened to your face? We looking at each other like we mad as hell at each other. We just, you know what I'm saying, did what we did. But we like, we was fighting. She's like, fighting where? I was like, she confused because we look like we done did the UFC bra. I'm talking about it was bad, bad, bad, bad. Like, my childhood was fun, but it was like this the stuff that wasn't fun was like crazy, crazy, crazy.

SPEAKER_00 12:09

So so other than that, like um going still in the childhood, how would how was y'all household though?

SPEAKER_01 12:18

I mean, my mom and dad worked work to provide. I wouldn't say work check to check, because we had it good when we was younger. You know, the older you get, the more you want, the less you're gonna get. Because either it's a roof over your head or you want these, you know what I'm saying? So I mean, when we was kids, we had it good. Well, older we got, we felt like we had it bad, but we ain't have it bad, realizing, you know, shit, a roof more important thanks. Yeah, a roof more or eating more important than a than a new pair of jeans or a new pair of shorts. So that's that's what I had to realize. I thought I had it bad growing up. I never had it bad. Every school year got a new pair of shoes, got new shirts, new new pants. It was it was a good life. Yeah, had them lay down on the bed. Yeah, like my mama made it happen. I didn't understand the reason. I thought it was bad. I'm like, man, I don't want this. I don't I want the new Jays. She likes shit. You want the new Jays or you want spaghetti tonight? I'm like, spaghetti's spaghetti for sure. Fuck them Jays, they'll be here the more. So it was it was one of them I had to, you know, yeah. It took me now to realize like my childhood was good.

SPEAKER_00 13:24

Yeah, how how was the neighborhood? You know what I'm saying? The neighborhood that you grew up in. Was it a lot of like did the kids go outside and play with each other? Did the I grew up in like a suburban neighborhood. I wouldn't say suburban, but like 29th of Charlotte. What part of suburbia is that? Because that's Charlotte. When did we ever call Charlotte suburb? Nah, that's suburbs.

SPEAKER_01 13:47

I wouldn't say suburb. I that's why I said a suburb. Like it was like my house was big as fuck, three stories, six bedrooms. Like it was every house on the neighborhood and on the block was like that, though. That's why I call it like what I call it.

SPEAKER_00 13:59

It was a little more upper than most of our inner city. Yeah, uh, yeah. I understand that, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:04

Big ass backyard, white neighbors. I'm talking about good neighbors. You ain't gotta worry about if you worried about the police, they was going down Linwood. Like or 31st, they wasn't coming down Charlotte. So uh, I mean, my neighbors good. Uh I used to go to this thing called the Hope Center, and the people, our neighbors next to us ran the Hope Center. So we, you know, we we had a good we played with them, the whole neighborhood knew everybody by first and last name. It was it was a good lifestyle. I wouldn't say like it was uh times where we had like, because we we was mixed kids, we was the only mixed kids on the block, and we had like a black neighbor to us who was adopted. We used to hang out with them all the time. So it'd be times like we walking through, and they'd be driving by, like, you know, you'd get that feeling like, man, why caring that staring at me? Like, you know, but it wasn't no verbally racism going on. Yeah, it was it was decent. Like I had a good ass neighborhood growing up.

SPEAKER_00 15:07

You seem to uh suffer from embarrassment issues when you were I understand that because I that's where my temper came from at times, like when I feel embarrassed. Other than that, I'm pretty good.

SPEAKER_01 15:21

I have one more story. Dude snatched my paper up off my desk. I'm talking about best friend. I guess he was bored. I wasn't in the mood. Best friend. He done snatched my paper up off my desk. I'm like, man, cuz quit playing. He like, I didn't say them exact words, but it like understood. Yeah. I'm like, man, cuz quit playing. He like, I was like, all right, you grab my paper again, I'm gonna beat your ass. All right, snatch while I'm writing. I'm like, got up. I ain't want to hit him, but I'm like, man, doom, doom, doom, doom. We start fighting. I'm talking about the best fight I ever had in my life. I was in like, what was that, sixth grade? Fought my best friend. I'm talking about that. It was fun. They suspended us both for 10 days. I'm spending the night at Brouse. Six out of the 10 days we suspended.

SPEAKER_00 16:05

That's true. What what why did you feel like you had to go through with it? Like after you told them not to do it.

SPEAKER_01 16:13

When I tell myself I'm gonna do something, I'm gonna do it. It's like it's not a it's not a debate about it. I got that mindset. Like if I say I'm gonna do something, I'm gonna do it. I ain't gonna half ass do it or step around and do it, I'm gonna do it. Yeah. That's gonna be the I'm it's either gonna break me or make me. That's that's that's my you know mindset.

SPEAKER_00 16:32

So how do y'all, you and him make up in that time?

SPEAKER_01 16:36

Like you said, you We was laughing in the principal office. Like, when his mama came and my mama came, they're like, Y'all in here fighting. I'm like, we look at each other, we like, yeah. You know, they like, bro, y'all play. Like, they wasn't even mad at us from fighting because they know, like, bro, they best friends. I'm talking about it was one of them. Like, best moments I never got in trouble for.

SPEAKER_00 16:59

Best moments I never see a lot of people don't understand that nowadays, though. Like, you could fight with your friend back in the day and y'all be cool.

SPEAKER_01 17:09

Be cool, be outside throwing the football at 4 30. You fight at three, you outside throwing the ball at 4 30. Yeah, nowadays it's like you can't even look at nobody. I'm talking about boy, you can't look at a person wrong and they ready to do it.

SPEAKER_00 17:23

Man, it's a cold world we live in, cuz so uh was was the 180 day the longest you had got to spend. No, I got expelled. What'd you get expelled for?

SPEAKER_01 17:36

Man, I don't want to. If if you if you don't want to nah, it's crazy. Okay, so it was just this third girl in the in the uh music class, and I I think she had a crush on me or something, but she was a boy, like she dressed like a boy, looked like a boy, and I she kept messing with me, kept messing with me, kept messing with me. I told her, like, man, leave me alone. Like, leave me the fuck alone. Kept messing. I'm talking about I picked the flute up, wow, broke that bitch over her head, ran out the classroom. They expelled me from school. I was like, oh man. Had to go to an alternative school called Gillis. I ain't never heard of Gillis. Yeah, see, it's a lot. It's one of them boys' homes. That's a boys' homeslash uh alternative school. On 82nd in Warnell, that big old building right across the street from like Taco Bell and uh what is it, a car wash and an audio center. Yeah, I went there for what was it, fourth grade? Fourth grade, I think it was. I had to go do my fourth grade. Then after that year, went back to Derek Thomas. So the the flute incident was fourth grade?

SPEAKER_00 18:44

I thought that was fourth grade? Yeah, was I?

SPEAKER_01 18:47

Yeah, I was in fourth grade. I did fourth grade into into my alternative school, and then when I came back in fifth grade, I had to go to Miss Kane class. That was so yeah, it was fourth grade going into fifth grade when I broke the flute on her head. So did you ever get into it with your teachers and stuff? All the time, not I wouldn't say my teachers. Like if they didn't listen to me, then I get mad. Like if I says, like if I raise my hand, they call on somebody else, I get to tripping out, tripping out. Like, bro, you see my hand up first. Like, I'm the type of kid to go quick as heel. So if you call on the next person before you call on me, I feel like I raised my hand for no reason. I get to tripping out in the classroom. I had one teacher that didn't play that shit, but she'll lock me in the closet. Miss Robinson.

SPEAKER_00 19:33

See, that was that was the reverse for me. I didn't raise my hand because I was shy. And you call on me. Now I feel embarrassed. Now I want to fight. Yeah, now you can't. Now I want to fight. But for you, you didn't you didn't call my name and I raised my hand. So you trying to play with it.

SPEAKER_01 19:53

I'm the first person that raised my hand. It's nobody else raising their hand. You call them good. Man, quit playing with me. Let me ask you this question. Well, I think my problem was, bro, I used to get done with my work fast. Like I was smart as hell. So once I got done with my work, bro, it wasn't nothing else to do. Said I'm about to get in trouble. I want to go home. Yeah. That's how it was. I feel like that's how most of my uh elementary and the middle school days was. But I didn't graduate high school.

unknown 20:21

Oh god.

SPEAKER_00 20:22

Because like you shared with us before, obviously you got some intelligence or a lot of it because you talked to us before the platform, I mean, before we started recording, was telling us how you used to put together computers and take them apart, like VCR DVDs and stuff, and take them apartment. Yeah, what do you think? How do you think you just got to doing that stuff? Because no, when you were younger, it probably YouTube wasn't like crazy crazy.

SPEAKER_01 20:48

Yeah. Like I had to look at it and see, like, all right, this do that right here, these, these, these for this thing. And I know this is this for right here, this is this thing. So let me, you know, like it wasn't, it wasn't uh, I can go search up how to replace a uh DVD player inside a DVD on YouTube. I didn't even know what the hell no YouTube was when I was doing this. Yeah. So it was like really like a mindset thing. Like I was determined that I'm gonna fix this because I want it done.

SPEAKER_00 21:15

So do you think, and going back to school and stuff, do you think the way you acted, like it was besides being embarrassed, was because they didn't have it wasn't enough for you to do, and you feel more, felt more advanced than a lot of what you was dealing with?

SPEAKER_01 21:32

I would say, yeah, some of it was, and some of it was just like boredom. Like, I'm so used to doing it, I'm gonna do this. Like, I'm gonna do this. I want to go home. I'm going home because I know y'all not gonna send me home, so I'm gonna find a way to get sent home. The majority of the time it was like I get done with my work, just walk around the classroom, start messing with people. And then they get to talking crazy. I'm like, hold on, who you talking to? And I'm messing with you, so I'm picking the fight. Like I was, I wouldn't say I was. A bully, but like I used to like fighting, so I'm fighting any and everybody in the in the classroom. That's bully behavior.

SPEAKER_00 22:07

You kind of starting it a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 22:08

But I'm fighting everybody, not just the little, I'm fighting little and before.

SPEAKER_00 22:12

Oh, you can't bully big people too. Because big people probably don't want to. You know, people probably look at you like I don't want to. I hope he don't mess with me, and then that one day you come over there and mess with him a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 22:23

I'm in I'm in second grade. Oh, what's it say? I can't tell you the exact grade it was. I know me and my sister went to the same school. We in ISS together. Gotcha. We get taken to the uh to the library room because he had to teach a class. It's high schoolers in the library room. So I'm in there, dude cracking them. He like, some, some, some. Uh yo, granny with the big old football panties. I'm like, nigga, what? Everybody started laughing. You know that joke back in the day. I'm like, man, well, you ain't just play with me like this. So I wait for them to calm down, you know, and start doing their work. I go grab the biggest textbook I could find. I'm talking about come right up behind cuz boom, hit him in the back of his head. He grabbed me, flipped me over his shoulder, started beating my ass. I'm like, man, up that day I learned my lesson. I ain't gonna bully the bitch. I'm talking, he was way bigger than me. Uh-huh. And I thought I was about to get off with that textbook. I'm talking about first hit, he like boom. I'm talking about my head went straight down. He flipped me right over his shoulder. I'm talking about the weapon on you. I'm like, oh man. Yeah, we ain't doing that again. Yeah. My granny do got big old football panties. Now that you think about it, cuz I don't even like my granny.

SPEAKER_00 23:35

Ain't doing that no, but my grandma dude actually got you wasn't lying. Yeah, it was just it was just the laughter from the other people that really got like hey. So, but when you felt all those laughs on your side, it wasn't a problem. You couldn't feel what that other person might be going through. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:55

Yeah, I couldn't walk in his shoes at that time. When people was laughing at me, it's like, nah, y'all playing when people laughing at me, four other people, then it's like, all right, that's cool. You know?

SPEAKER_00 24:04

Was you considered the funny guy in uh class clown? So in reverse, did it ever happen in that way to where somebody just felt so embarrassed about what you said that they coming at you now on some physical stuff?

SPEAKER_01 24:20

Man, what never? Ain't no man, nobody never never I ain't gonna say like I was the toughest kid in my school, but nobody never like they knew something was wrong with me up here. Like they knew, like, bro, don't mess with Fred, bro. That nigga gonna he gonna trip out. And if he can't win, he gonna grab the whatever he can to win. Like, he's no loser. Like, nah, I ain't never had an encounter where somebody came up to me, like they felt embarrassed off of something what I did, or felt the wrong way off something of what I did, and was like, hey boy, you wanna fight, or anything like that? Nah, hell no. It was never none of that.

SPEAKER_00 24:55

Yeah. After uh any of this, can you ever remember yourself going back like in your head, in your own head, when you think it to yourself, like, damn, I went too far, or I didn't have to do that after you didn't beat somebody up or something for some stuff you said.

SPEAKER_01 25:10

The girl with the flute, I felt so bad. I'm like, man, oh my god, I really just got expelled for hitting this girl with the flute. And she probably did like me. I'm like, man, I felt bad, but I'm like, should I do it again? Like I told you, leave me. I never regret what I do, but I always like second, not not second guess, because it's already done, but I would say like think about it, dwell on it. Uh I'll never let it bother me. Anything I do, like I feel like shit, it it was gonna get done. I put it to my mind like that. I'm doing it, be like, yes, that's Tom, but that girl. And then I would say, Arcan, old dude off the steps. Like, I could have just punched on him, you know, like punched him, but I feel like he was bigger than me, so I had to get the advantage quicker. And he was walking down the steps, so I just he came down with me. Uh that was like, dang, I busted all his teeth, his nose. I felt bad because I seen the blood. But I I ain't gonna say like I regret doing it.

SPEAKER_00 26:14

Had you ever seen any of these people afterwards?

SPEAKER_01 26:17

No. Like after yeah, uh, I still got like elementary friends, you know, that like I know of, like from Facebook that I see posts on Facebook, but we don't like interact, you know? Yeah, my middle school friend, I still got though. I only had like three friends my whole life, because they said I was fighting all the time, so people didn't want to be my friend. Uh my middle school friend, I still got. I've been having him be my dog since like eighth grade.

SPEAKER_00 26:47

And you know, man, a lot of people, well, at least I believe. A lot of people want friends, good friends, you know what I'm saying? But like we keep embracing this evil part of us that keeps those friends away from us. Or what do you think it was about you that you embraced more the aggressive side, or more, let's just say a bit evil side? While you were still a kid trying to understand stuff, there is you knowing, okay, this is fucked up what I did to them. And but then it's like I did it. What's done is done. Like that's that's a bit evil if we're being real. So what what do you think made you embrace that more if you can shit just the outcome of it?

SPEAKER_01 27:34

Like, you know, knowing I can knowing I can knowing I'm gonna beat your ass, like knowing you're not gonna, you know, is that what you're asking me?

SPEAKER_00 27:41

Yeah, yeah. Like what like what in you what in what do you think even really what do you think even led you to being this way to where you embrace that that that part of you? Because you know, most of I don't think no kid just comes out of the womb just like I'm on that.

SPEAKER_01 28:01

I feel like I ain't getting no discipline. Like I'm I got you know what I'm saying, like the discipline I got, it was discipline, but it wasn't like a normal kid. You know what I'm saying? I got whooped with a paddle, this thick with holes in it, and didn't cross. So, like they I gotta stop getting discipline at a certain age. I would say I'd more so start getting punched on, and punches don't hurt me. It feels like I'm fighting the next nigga at school. So I think that's what drove me to to fight more. I feel like you're gonna punch me, I'm gonna go punch on the next person, you know?

SPEAKER_00 28:28

Yeah, yeah. You don't think you was ever uh, and this is no indictment on your parents or anything, embarrassed at home to make you wanna go to make you feel that way when you were outside of see.

SPEAKER_01 28:41

I I've I used to think that. I used to think like, dang, bro, my mom, you know, like my mom put me in this place at this, you know what I'm saying? At this age, I used to try to always say it was that, but it was like, nah, bro, you chose to do that, you chose to to go out there and do what you did. Every decision, you know, every action caused a reaction. So it's like, shit, I can't blame my mama for for my decisions, you know.

SPEAKER_00 29:04

So what I'm not I'm not saying you're blaming them. I'm saying, like, as a child or in the moment, you can only feel like how you feel until you go back and be like, okay, nah, it wasn't that, it was me. But in the time, you you may have felt embarrassed by something that happened, and then it affected the way you acted towards everything else. Not saying that person was wrong for doing whatever they did, but how you felt in that moment was like, well, I'm a bit embarrassed, and then now every time you get embarrassed or feel embarrassed in school, you're reacting.

SPEAKER_01 29:45

I can't think of nothing that a child, like childhood trauma that embarrassed me. I feel like the only thing I could say is shit. I held on to my pots when they took him away for like 13 years. I'm holding on to his leg with my sister. They come and carry him out the door, like kick the door in, snatch him up and drag him up out of there. Like pull us off his legs. Like your pops' pops or your steppots? My dad. Okay. Yeah, like my my my biological father. Uh I ain't gonna get into all that. He did what he did. He and then I feel like that's that's the embarrassment. I feel like if you ask him what what triggered me to go out and act like how this is what I'm after you. Yeah, this is this is yeah, this is uh this is the reason why I feel like shit, I can do what I want. You know what I'm saying? So you grab you and your sister was grabbing on to him holding up to imagine like you know how you you your kid was to sit on your foot, right? And you walking. That's how he is, and they pulling bread up out the house. We we know I'm like, why the fuck they I ain't know why they, you know, why they came and grabbed my pops. I ain't know nothing about nothing. Ten years down the line, my pops, man. I'ma just say, 'Cause I said this shit hurt.

SPEAKER_00 30:59

Are you sure? Are you sure?

SPEAKER_01 31:00

Man, I ain't broad. This shit, Google records. You can look it up. Okay. That nigga fouled. I mean, I wouldn't say he fouled. He learned, yeah, this foul, cuz. This foul. Ain't no reason, ain't no way around it, bro. Brad had sex with his sister, cuz. My auntie, blood auntie. I'm like, man, what? I ain't know nothing about nothing like that. So I'm like, I'm a young kid not knowing until I did know I was so angry with like the decision he made to do to leave us. So I feel like that's why I took my anger out on a lot of the people around me. Gotcha. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:30

So you didn't like when he when when he left, did you ever visit on the city?

SPEAKER_01 31:36

Man, hell no. My mama didn't let us visit.

SPEAKER_00 31:38

Because she knew why he went.

SPEAKER_01 31:39

Yeah, she knew why. Okay. Yeah, she knew why. Like she she I'm talking about, I met Burr over the phone. I didn't know who my dad was. Like I was so young, like I don't have no like memories of us going to do this, us going to do that, us going to do this, us going to do that. The only thing I can like physically remember my pops, like from a kid point of view, when that nigga called me one day, my mom was like, somebody want to talk to you. We got a house phone at the time. Like, calling me, talk to me. I don't get I ain't get a house phone number out to nobody. I know better. Uh she's like, somebody important. Oh, this Taylor calling me right now.

SPEAKER_00 32:15

Yeah, yeah. We can you do what you need to do, Will.

SPEAKER_01 32:18

That was Taylor. Uh, but uh man, I'm like, who is this? So I grabbed a I grabbed a phone. He like, what you doing, son? Son. Nigga, my dad right here. Right. Call his son, nigga. I know I got a pops, but I don't know who he is or where he is.

SPEAKER_00 32:36

You like five or something like that, you said? When they took him? And when they called me.

SPEAKER_01 32:41

When he called me, I was like five. Yeah. So I'm this this who I know. This I'm like, I my stepdad is who I know is, you know, not my dad, but like this nigga that stepped in and took, you know, did what he did. He called him, like, what you doing? What you doing, son? Son. I look at my mama, who the fuck is on this phone? I ain't asking, who the fuck is calling me son on this phone? She's like, talk to him. Like, son, why you call me son? He like, I'm your dad. My dad. What you mean you my dad? He like, man, what you doing right now? I'm like, I'm watching wrestling. He like, I am too. I know. I'm like, what? He like, what's your middle name? I'm like, I don't know. It started with a P. He like, go ask your mama what your middle name is. I asked my mom. He said, ask her how to spell it too. I asked my mom, like, what's my middle name? She said, the middle name. So I got back on the phone. Palata. He said, spell it. I spell it. He's like, that's my middle name too. I know. Like, what? I ain't even, man, cut this time. I ain't even know I was a junior. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, what? How you know that? He like, I just told you I was your dad. I'm like, bro, you're not like, how you my dad? Like, where my where you at? He like, I don't know what he told me where he was at, but he he he didn't tell me he was in jail, man. I'm like, what? How you get there? Long story short, I met bro over the phone, like through that conversation right there of him telling me, like, I'm watching wrestling too. Who your favorite wrestling? John Cena? Mine too. Man, cuz you just saying that. He like, nah, I've been watching wrestling since before you've been born. I'm like, I'm looking at my mama. She like, I'm like, nah, this can't be real, cuz. Like, I ain't know it. I ain't know. I knew bro, but like, I ain't know like we was ever gonna speak again. So it was one of those situations where I'm like, damn, I got a dad.

SPEAKER_00 34:37

So when he when y'all was on his legs and stuff, this was before this conversation, and you just have no memory of being this is something your mama told you you were on his legs? Nah, this is the only memory I got of being like now like three years old. So that's what I'm saying. Before that conversation. So you didn't so did you connect that back to that person being that person.

SPEAKER_01 35:01

Oh man, you him, okay. Then I'm like, I ain't want to talk no more. You know, I'm like, nigga, you done, you been gone for so long. I don't this my dad, like, I don't want to talk no more. Then I had to I had to talk to him like every twice a week. I said, I think it was like Wednesday and Saturday. He'd call for like an hour, talk to me and my sister apiece, 30 minutes apiece. Uh it was uh she never let us visit him or nothing like that. Once we got older, he started sending her like money home for like Christmas and shit like that. But once he got out of jail, I think I was like 13, 14. How old was that? No. I was 14, going on 15 when he got out of jail. And my first like interaction with him, it was decent, you know. He bought me a game system for my birthday. Uh then he hit me with the I gotta go, I'll be back. I'm like, man, nigga, you just you just came back around. Where you going? Like, we ain't even I ain't even plugged the game up. I ain't even start the game. You come, you don't want to play the game with me? Like, man, I'll be back. I'm like, all right. He called me. Man, I just wrecked. I ain't gonna make it back. I'm like, man, fuck this nigga, bruh. This nigga just be lying. The whole time he did wreck his girlfriend car. I'm like, oh man. So uh I knew like I would never like respect, bruh, or nothing like that. It's cause like my first interaction with him was like, I have had a bad grade, you know, and I'd already got discipline from my mom and my stepdad. And I walked through the door, I'm like, what's the deal, Pops? And uh he like, nah, we need to talk. I'm like, man, I said, What's the deal? Like, what we need to talk about? Nigga tried to grab my shirt. I'm talking about two-piece his ass. Bing, bing, bing. He like, you gonna hit me? I'm like, bruh, I treat your ass like a nigga up the street, you ever touch me again? He like, you you'll hit me? I'm like, bruh. I told him, like, bruh, I kill you. Like, nigga, I don't, you're not nobody to me. Like, what you just tell me? I start yelling at this point. I'm like, nigga, I will kill you. My mama, like, no, I'm serious. I start pushing the dining room table into his ass, like forcing him up against the wall to where he couldn't move. My mama came in there, she's like, stop, stop, stop. My stepdad, like, man, you can't do your dad like that. I'm like, this nigga ain't my fucking dad. I'm like, you my dad. I was mad as fuck. He called, he got so mad he called the police on trying to press charges for like assault. I'm like, man, he's a bitch. Yeah. Yeah. I I mean, I I now I don't, you know, I ain't got no hate towards him. He old, done lived his life. He got grandkids he take care of. So I mean, I wouldn't say take care of, but he look out for. So I ain't got no hatred towards him, bro. You ain't gotta be a dad to me. As long as you, you know, yeah, treat these grandkids that you got with some type of dignity, then we good.

SPEAKER_00 37:48

So did you so it there was a point where you started to embrace those calls when he was locked up? Like you it became a regular thing for you.

SPEAKER_01 37:57

I enjoyed talking to him, but I'm like, shit, where are you? You know what I'm saying? You physically not here. It's another man that's taking your spot, that's doing what you're supposed to do. And all you can call me and do is ask me what I'm doing, what I'm eating, you know, what I'm watching. How is school? When it's a man, it should be like how you sitting right there, that man sitting right there, physically doing everything that you, you know, supposed to be doing for your kids. Yeah, and that I I I that shit didn't fly with me.

SPEAKER_00 38:25

So, yo, so it looks like your mom actually gave in a little bit. And what do you think the importance of her doing that was? Why do you think she did that as far as like allowing you to talk to him? Because she wouldn't let y'all see him, but she did allow you to talk to him.

SPEAKER_01 38:40

I mean, she she wanted us to hear for herself how much like I wouldn't say bullshit he was, but like bullshit. Like, all right, don't be like y'all dad. Y'all want to talk to him, go ahead. Just don't be like him, don't be nothing like him. And then she wasn't lying. I mean, he ain't the worst person, but he's not the best person. So yeah. He's shit. She she she let us let us find out on our own. Like, if if y'all want to, you know, fuck with him, y'all can, but that's on y'all. So she wasn't ever that mother to be like, no, you can't talk to your dad, no, you can't see your dad. She actually wanted the nigga to help take care of it. So it was one of those.

SPEAKER_00 39:18

And as far as your stepfather, who you consider your actual pops. Like, do you ever look back at times and be like, I did, I could have been better towards him.

SPEAKER_01 39:31

Yeah, this hella times like, man, bro. He used to, I we gonna keep it as the he used to sell a lot of clothes back in the day, right? Yeah. I used to like clothes. We're gonna say clothes as a cold word. I used to like clothes, right? Man, I'm talking about you my dad, and you got a lot of it. I'm about to take the clothes, all right? So I'm in there, I'm in the room pinching out the clothes. He uh, he I'm talking about, he used to beat me black and blue, but never did he like tell me, treat me any different than the kids that was in there or his actual kids. So I was like, yeah, I could have, I could have, I could have treated him way better. I'm talking about it's multiple times like I'd have told the nigga, like, you not my dad, ain't still said, all right, Christmas. I'm spending a thousand on each kid, and then that's a lot, you know, back in our day. Yeah, that's a lot now. No, now it's back in the day when we was, you know, kids, kids, that that thousand to get you a yeah, that was a damn, that was the whole damn tree getting filled up. So it was like, I that's why that's what I look up to. Like, you know, my pops. It's a lot of times where he could have been like, man, fuck you and these badass kids, but he never once gave up on my mama, gave up on love or us. So it's like shit, I tip my cap to breath. That's who I want to be like.

SPEAKER_00 40:50

That's real love. Did did have you ever had a like one-on-one with him or real talk? Like, hey, pops, like, yeah, I done told him this before.

SPEAKER_01 40:59

Like, man, D Look, man, you a you a you a soldier, man. Cause if it was me on the other foot, like if I was in your shoes, man, what I'd feel if you be these badass kids, cut by you, you one of them ones. Yeah. He like, I wouldn't, I wasn't in it for y'all. I loved your mama. What came with your mama is y'all, so I tip my captain breath for that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:24

So uh would you not getting the discipline you probably at this age felt like you probably should have got back then? Uh did it lead you up out into the streets, into any activity?

SPEAKER_01 41:36

Nah, I wasn't in no gang. I wouldn't say I was in no gang or anything like that. I never banged nothing like that. I banged my neighborhood. I'm from 33rd and Agnes, you know. Like where I moved, where I was living at before we moved to 29th in Charlotte. But I don't ever be like, da-da-da-da-da-da. I'm about to die behind this block. Hell no. Yeah, it wasn't ever. I wasn't ever one of them ones. Like, I was scared to get in trouble. Like, that's what led me to, that's when I was telling you about when I was 14. So I was 14 one day. My mom is a diabetic. She sent me to BP. We lived off 32nd in Chestnut. And uh, she sent me to BP to go get her Snickers. So I walked down there with my partner. We walking back, and as we walking back, it's a high speed taste going on. So I take her Snickers, and I'm sitting on the porch. This back in the day, when like Red Reggie, you know, like K. That shit was popping. So I'm rolling up a blunt and we looking at the high speed, go down Lynwood, right? And they turn, we live on chestnut, so they turn on what is that, South Benton right behind us or Benton Boulevard right behind us. Skr. All you hear, skr. Boom. Car wrecked. I'm like, what the fuck? So I'm still sitting on my steps, you know, just chilling at this. I'm talking about three people running through my front yard. Phew, I'm talking about gone. They gone. I stand, I stand up, I'm like, what the fuck? What the fuck? Like, I'm looking, like, where the hell they just go. The police come around the corner, freeze. Man, freeze what? Nigga. Talking to y'all. Yeah, I'm like, freeze what? Nigga, I'm not freezing nothing. I'm about to walk up on my porch. Bro, done took off running. My partner, because you know, he was in the streets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He got his gun on him, so he went and threw his gun in my backyard. Uh man, they like freeze. Man, I walk up on the porch. My mama come outside, she's like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, they telling her, like, he just ran from us. He just ran from us. I'm like, bro, what? Nigga, I just came back from the store. I didn't run from y'all. I'm I'm talking about we out there arguing with these people. They like, if he don't come down right now, we're letting the dog out. I'm like, they already done got breath. I might as well go down there, tell them we ain't do shit. I walk down them steps. I'm talking about he like freeze. I laid down. Bro, I was in juvenile detention center for two months for being innocent. I'm telling him every day, every day I go to court. Every two weeks I go to court. I'm telling them, like, bro, I didn't, I didn't run from no police, I don't got no AK-47. Man, the stuff that they was trying to charge me with, I'm like, hell no. It was three guns in the car. And then they had just shot at the police on the high speed chase. I'm like, what? Man, hell no. I just walked back from getting a snicker from my mama. And I'm trying to tell them that. I'm they talking about we can pull the, we're waiting on the surveillance uh footage from the cop cars to see like if it was me or not. I'm telling them, like, bro, it was three dark-skinned people. Like, nigga, I'm white. Who the fuck are you talking about? And I got arrested in a tank top, nigga, so you know I'm white. I'm mad as hell. So uh man, by this time, it's like two months go by. They finally get the video uh footage from the top of the cop car, play it in court. The judge look at me like, I'm sorry. What? Man, and let me out. I'm talking about they let me out, like, no nothing, none of that. But my mama, I told you, remember how I told you I was a bad, like I was bad in school and shit? Yeah. She reached out to the judge. She like, there's no way we could put him on like a probation or anything like that to like keep him straight in school. She was like, Yeah, it is. Set me up with a DJO. Oh my god. I'm talking about worst decision. The worst thing she could have did, man. What's a DJO? Uh a detention, like a juvenile officer. Okay. Yeah, just a shorter abbreviation for it. So, man, this is this is the end of eighth grade. I'm going in, what is this, ninth grade? No, this is ninth grade. I'm going in the 10th grade because I had just left Bishop Ward. I still I had to go to D Lacill. I went to a private Catholic school called Bishop Ward and got kicked out of there for no reason. I'm talking about no reason at all. But we're gonna get back to that. I was on uh that juvenile probation, and man, this is my first experience doing some crazy stuff. Like I was in ISS one day, and I had some Xandexes on me. I was like, man, I'm about to take one. I was just selling them at this point, so I'm like, man, I'm about to take one. I'm bored as hell. I took one, felt like getting work. I took another one. I'm talking about 15 minutes later. I'm in there, sleep. We get out of school at 242. Bruh, why ain't wake up till like 6:50 in the afternoon? I'm talking about a basketball coach standing right next to me, two police officers. He like, you ha? I'm like, nah, nah. He like, you know, you gotta go get a drug test before you come back to school, right? So I'm like, all right, that's cool. I can wait till Monday. It's Friday. Three days, it'll be out my system. Man, I'm talking about my mama took me down there the same day. I'm trying to tell her, like, no, let's wait till Monday. You know that you're gonna put me out of school. She like, nah, you did it. I'm like, man, I'm I'm trying my hardest not to say yeah, but with with telling her, yeah, like, man, she's like, nah, if you ain't do it, you ain't got shit to worry about. I'm like, bro, I don't got no water, nothing. Like, if he comes to the crib and I pissed, that's different. I can put some water in there and dilute it, you know. But I had to go to the office. Sometimes I peed, he dipped, dipped the little thing in there. I'm like, had to send me to a rehab. First time ever doing anything crazy. I went to a rehab. I'm like, oh my God, I'm out here with real tweakers, like people that's off meth, heroin. At my age, though, they faces look bad. I'm like, hell no. Hell no. That's how I knew I didn't want to do them drugs.

SPEAKER_00 47:31

Hell no. And and of course, we're gonna get back to uh the Bishop Ward thing, but I want to talk about Juvenile a little bit because we had somebody on here who uh I didn't know Juvenile had you go through the same thing as regular like prison, like older people stuff. Like you gotta go in there, they check your ass and all of that shit. Like they do all that extra stuff.

SPEAKER_01 47:57

Like man, well who the fuck? I'm like when I went there, they man, hell what juvenile he go to? I ain't do none of this. Hell no. They threw me the clothes and bro, watch me change. You talk about search me when I, you know, like patting me down, and I ain't have to do no bend over and cough or no shit like that. Hell nah. Like I do when I if I ever go to man, hell nah.

SPEAKER_00 48:21

And that's what he said. He said they tried to do that to him. He was like, nah, man. And he said they put a bit of hole after that.

SPEAKER_01 48:26

Like, like, yeah, that's what they'll do. If you tell them no, you don't want to do it, they'll put you in that mug for like 24 hours and then they come in there and watch you, like tell you change out. I never, I never, never once had to bend over and cough to get checked in juvenile.

SPEAKER_00 48:40

I didn't even know Juvenile had a hole. Oh, yeah, they do back then. He told me that too, but before he said that, I didn't know they had a hole. They would lock you in a cell for all day, damn near.

SPEAKER_01 48:51

Like they'd feed you out your cell, like you won't come out, you get it one hour for you. Like, if the if the pod you tweaking it, X, Y, Z, like trip out. If any one of them trip out, like, but you you messing a rectangle for everybody for the day. It was it was bad in there, like, but I chilled out because I knew I wasn't here for nothing. So I'm not here about to make proof of point to nobody, try to become friends with nobody or nothing. If I knew you from the outside, we cool, that's a different story. But other than that, I'm not coming here trying to be the hardest person at all. I'm going the fuck home.

SPEAKER_00 49:20

So, with you not being a uh banger, as you say, and all that stuff, you were able to go through juvenile and be cool. They wasn't on some you gotta you gotta pick a side or all of that stuff.

SPEAKER_01 49:31

I'm cool with like I say, I still to this day, I'm like I can be cool, I'm cool with these people, that's not cool with these people, but they never not gonna triple me because I said I don't put myself in the middle of none of that. You know, I live my life to be a dad, not to not to be the hardest nigga in the streets. So yeah, I I never once pick a side if that's what they call it. I'm fresh, man.

SPEAKER_00 49:50

Yeah, yeah. I like that. I'm fresh. Good, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:56

I'm good. My keep going up. I'm good.

SPEAKER_00 49:58

So going back to the uh what you call it, Bishop Ward? Yeah, or whatever, what what was the story with that?

SPEAKER_01 50:04

Man, I went to Kip. You know what Kip KC is? No. Kip KC?

SPEAKER_00 50:09

That's what we used to go. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 50:13

So uh before they before they became the that they is now, like they used to be actually a good school, like good teachers, you know, like good map scores and all that stuff like that. A year after I went there, they went down here. I went there eighth grade, eighth grade going into high school. So I played basketball for Kip. We went one of like the nicest schools in the IL. And uh Bishop War, when I went there for my like orientation, the basketball coach reached out to me, like, hey, you know, like we'll give you a tuition reimbursement because we know we suck. Like, if you want to come play for us, so I'm like, all right. I'm like, shit, 20, 2700 out of 10k a month, you know, that only leaves my mama with 73 or like 63, I think that was. She had to pay each year for me to go to school. So I went there for my first year. I had a little black girlfriend, and uh, we used to walk the hallways and hold hands with each other. And they teachers used to write me up without telling me like I was getting write-ups and then going sign the write-up, like sign like my name on the write-up because we had to get informed when we was getting written up to sign the write-up. So they was like basically foraging my signature. I'm telling them, so we had to go do a meeting. We go do the meeting at Bishop Ward. This is at Bishop Ward at this time. So we we go do the meeting, and uh, I'm telling my dean, the dean of students, like, that's not my signature. Like, I'll write my signature for y'all. That's not my signature. The lady tell me, like, the teachers aren't gonna lie on you. I'm like, man, y'all ass is racist as hell. I start snapping on their ass. Like, man, I don't want to go here. I got I get the trip, like going off. Left there, went to D Lysale. Then I'm like, hell no, D Lysale, ghetto is here, left there, went to where the Tonka. When a Tonka told me I ain't have enough credits to play basketball, I just said, fuck high school, you know? Like it ain't for me. I'm gonna find it a different way. Okay. But I never went to a bad school, though. Like the D Lysale was the worst school I ever went to.

SPEAKER_00 52:14

So uh uh, I gotta jump back because I forgot to ask something. Uh did they ever explain why it would take two months to find like the footage?

SPEAKER_01 52:24

To get the footage of the I don't know why they did me like that. I kept, I kept telling them, like, nigga, I go look at the story footage from the BP. Like it got to the point where I'm like, forget the clap car video footy up, like go look at the the BP. Like it'll show you why y'all chasing them. I'm walking down here to this BP. Like I didn't, I wasn't in the car, I wasn't in the high speed. I've never ever in my life held an AK-47. So, man, they wasn't trying to hear that. They sent me a letter in the mail talking about we're sorry for wasting your time and stuff like that. But back then, I didn't, I didn't know like I could sue them for this for like, you know, wasting my life. I was trying to hurry up and get up out of there. I'm like, bro, I ain't do shit. And then your mama asked, can you Bro? I got put on probation. And I was innocent. I got innocent, put on probation, and I was innocent. But she was just trying to get keep me on a level. Yeah, bro. Yeah. So it wasn't like a like a strict probation. Like I just said, she didn't she didn't want me smoking weed and stuff like that. So had to go P test. I'm like, bro, I'm gonna keep smoking weed. Like I didn't do shit. You the one that won me on probation. Like, I'll be good in school, but I'm gonna still smoke weed. She's like, all right, that's the deal. I I was being good in school, smoking weed. She was even peeing for me. That's how bad it was. Like one point in time, you put me on probation and you peeing for me. That was crazy.

SPEAKER_00 53:46

Yeah. I and I I recall you saying at 14 you were smoking. Well, what you smoking before then? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:53

12 years old, I took one of my steppop's joints, smoked a little piece of it, like hit it like three times. You know, back. I ain't know joints didn't go out if you ain't like, you know, put them out. So I hit it, set it back down. That mug still burning. I go downstairs. I'm sitting on the couch thinking I'm green. Yeah, I'm thinking I'm green. My mama walk in the house, she like, she don't smoke weed or nothing. So she hit the little drug dog ham. I'm like, she like, who here with you? I'm like, nobody. My my step pops used to coach my T-ball team, so we got hella wooden bats by the basement steps. She like, okay. She set her purse down. All I hear is the wooden bats go clink, clink, clink, clink. And I hit the back door. I ran up. Man, I ran out the back door. She right behind me out the back door. I'm talking about big ass backyard. She's swinging with the wooden bat, Louisville slugger, like Barry Bonds. I'm like, man, hell, and I'm jumping back. Like, what you doing? She's like, You want to smoke weed? You want to smoke weed? You don't need these. I'm like, nah, you're gonna try to take my kneecaps because I'm smoking weed. Yeah, my mom was crazy. I'm just in play. Yeah, she was tear you down the first time I smoked weed. See, man, cigarettes was the first, like, first thing I ever, you know, like one day I'm up there, I done stole one of her cigarettes. Around the time I got caught smoking weed, around the same time. 12 years old, I'm smoking one of her cigarettes. I'm like, nah, this is nasty. I put it out. But as I'm putting it out, my cousin walking in. He like, what you doing? I'm like, bro, don't tell on me. We around the same age, like he's a little bit like five, six years older. And I'm like, bro, don't tell on me, don't tell on me. He like, I ain't gonna tell on you. Where you get them from? I don't got no more. He like, all right, I'm telling. He goes down, nigga go downstairs and tell on me, right? Man, I'm talking about dukes make me smoke the whole carton. Nigga, not mountain pack with 20 of them in there. It's how many? One, two, man, probably like a carton, you know, the carton cigarettes, yeah. Whole carton. Like, I'm smoking. She's like, You want to smoke? Wanna smoke? I'm like, nah, I don't want to smoke no more. I'm talking about crying, I'm sitting here hitting cigarettes crying, throwing up. I'm like, no, I don't want to smoke no more. COVID's bad, cover. I'm like, nah, duh. Smoke no more.

SPEAKER_00 56:10

It ain't funny that she did it. It's just funny you said it's good. Cause I can see it. I could see it.

SPEAKER_01 56:15

I'm getting the cigarette tears coming down my eye. I'm like, crying. She's like, nah, hit it right. If I ain't inhale it, she can get to tripping, like, nah, you want to smoke, smoke the cigarette right. I'm like, nah, hell no. The whole cart man, bro. Damn near the whole carton. There was probably like two packs left in there before she felt like that was enough. I'm surprised I didn't turn you off for smoking, period. Nah, weed, probably like two, three months later. I knew I didn't want no cigarettes. Cigarettes wasn't the them wasn't the years, nah. Okay. But the weed I hit that, I'm like, because you know I told you at ADHD, I hit the weed. I'm like, whoa, like, I'm calm down. Like, nigga, brain ain't going 100 miles per hour. Yeah, I was calm. So that was one of them situations. I'm like, yeah, I like weed. I knew at a young age I like weed. But cigarettes, hell nah, Dukes.

SPEAKER_00 57:06

Is that the worst drug you got into?

SPEAKER_01 57:08

Uh Xanax? Nah, I had that. We we get, I bet say you, whenever you're ready, we can get down to the. Yeah. Uh nah, I wasn't. Man, I used to do perks, like, like I any kind, like the real ones, the fake ones. Like, it wasn't, it wasn't no no limit. You know what I'm saying? I ain't I wasn't doing raw fitting on, but I was doing perks, you know, with with the fetty in them. That makes sense. So yeah, it was bad. And that was the point in my life to where, you know, my incident happened. I would say the dark point of my life. Like I was angry. Uh woke up every day. If I wasn't high, I was mad with the people that was around me, the people that love me. Sleep all the time. Uh I had just had my daughter. So I used to sell drugs. So I thought, you know, money was the key to everything. Uh long as long as she had this, this, and that, you know, it wasn't gonna be no problem. And uh yeah, that's how I lit, that's how I live my life, bro. Like, wake up, get high, make some money, make sure my daughter's cool, never valued the importance of like time, if that makes sense. Until my incident. But yeah, I used to do it all.

SPEAKER_00 58:29

But what had you so angry with everybody? Because you said you used to be like I couldn't tell.

SPEAKER_01 58:35

I would say it's cause I wasn't high. When I was high, I didn't feel shit. When I was, like when I wasn't, it was like, man, bro, like I was eager to get high, so I didn't feel nothing. So if it wasn't like, you know, if it wasn't no meas around, then like, bro, don't talk to me. Like, we don't need to talk about nothing. Like, you ain't talking about no money, shut the fuck up. That's how I live my life. Like, I would say fast. That was that's the word I use for dangerous, not day by day, not the next 10 years.

SPEAKER_00 59:09

What got you into that direction though? The direction when you uh, you know, selling and also having to, well, well, where you're so addicted to money and also popping pills and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_01 59:24

I would say the money was like, shit, I could buy what I want, you know? I ain't gotta wait for my mama to give me this or give me that. Like, I'm I'ma sell this real quick, make a couple hundred more than what I spent, still go get some more, and I can go buy these, buy this, buy this, buy that. Or my daughter needs something, I ain't gotta depend on the non-to-five to go provide it for my daughter. Like, it was uh That's what it was, the rush of having the money, like not having to work for the white man. That's basically why I like money. Still to this day, I I never work for him, but I ain't gonna go back to like that lifestyle. Uh I would say the pills, I just thought it, like I thought this shit was cool. You know what I'm saying? I wouldn't say cool, but like I tried it the first time. I didn't get no bad, no bad like experience from it. I just felt like like I don't know, like a zombie, basically. That's how it made me feel, like slow-minded, uh, no emotions, no reactions to anything. And I think I chased that the most because like shit with the lifestyle I was doing, but I ain't I couldn't have no feelings. Like I'm already selling this, this, and that ain't no feelings. Like, so let me let me get high before I start my day. You know, that's what it was.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:38

Are you able to share your worst experience with being high?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:42

Yeah, yeah, I wouldn't, I I gotta think on that. That's that's a good question. Because I always used to just like go home and everybody was outside. Uh like if I felt like I was too high, I would go home. But uh I say one time, this this might be funny and crazy. One time I'm driving my partner car in Kansas. I just took like probably like 30 milligrams of real percocess and then a fitting oil, so that's like I couldn't tell you how much. You know, it's a 10, they call it that, they call it a 30. Little boop, a little blue pill. And then I took two Xanaxes. I'm driving broke car finna go meet up with this girl. I stop at the intersection. This is all I remember. I stopped at the intersection. Next thing you know, I wake up in a ditch with the like state trooper knocking at the window. I'm like, oh my god. I wake, I go from this motion right here to I hear this. I go. He's like, you okay tonight, sir? And I'm like, uh yeah, I'm good, bro. I'm tired. I just had to drop my daughter off. He's like, you know where you headed? And luckily I had the GPS on my phone, so I just showed him, like, I'm about to go here. I don't know where I'm like, you know, like where I'm going, but this, I mean, I don't know where I'm where I'm at, but this is where I'm going. That's why I got the GPS up. He's like, okay, you need help up out of here. I'm like, what? Didn't want to search the car or nothing. Like, didn't search the car or nothing. He helped me up out the ditch. I'm like, whoa, like that was one of them experiences where I'm like, if this ain't God, I don't know what is, you know. Like I got like 30 fitting all pills in the car of my gun, like a half pound of weed in the back seat. I'm going to jail for a long time. And this broke car. So it was one of them ones where I don't like I know God real. But I didn't I didn't take that into consideration. But that's but now that I look back and think on it, it's like, damn, I should have looked at that like a lesson.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:39

Don't do any it seemed like these drugs just like make you sleepy and stuff like that. Yeah, they why would you want to be sleepy? I always wondered that, like, what because people talk about doing the leaning and all of that, and it just makes why why do y'all want to be sleepy? See, to me, I wasn't sleepy, I was numb.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:56

That makes sense, like numb, like numb to everything. Like somebody talking to me, feelings like you know, trauma, numb to all that shit. I didn't think about nothing. You know, I said I thought about some money. So that's why I like them drugs, they make me sleepy. Because if I take some shit that's gonna wake me up, I'm gonna go back to the to the old fridge. Like, yeah, we're about to fight, everybody about to fight. That's not nah, that's not happening.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:20

Yeah, so it takes you away from having to face those realities, those, those traumas. Basically, yeah stuff. So yeah, I I get that in a sense.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:30

Nah, it that's what I thought it was. That's really not what it was, though. I just it's an excuse to get high. No more. That's a like. Oh no. You gotta, it's a mind over matter thing now. Like you can't, I can't sit here and say these pills are gonna help me for the rest of my life. They never will, never did. Now that I now that I'm in this situation, I can sit back and think of it like, man, but you know how many times I got blessed and really didn't, you know what I'm saying? Really didn't take that shit into accountability. Now I stop and think about it. Like, ah damn, yeah, but you you blessed, you know what I'm saying? You blessed to still be here, blessed to not OD when you took them, you know. I guess a lot of people didn't die from doing what they did.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:13

So yeah. Are there any other standout situations that you feel like God had his hand on me right there?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:23

Yeah, when I got shot. The night I got shot, I got shot five times. So I feel like that's the night, you know?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:32

This is how we ended up where we are now.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:34

Yeah, so uh you you ready? Yeah, you can you can go ahead and tell you. I was about to say, so uh I had a girlfriend who was manic. And man. Long story short, short story longer, we had got into it. We was leaving the club. You know, she was like, I'm about to go kick it with my friends. I'm like, all right, I'm gonna just stay in the car, you know what I'm saying? They go out to Blue Springs and start, you know, partying with them. I get high, I go to sleep. I think that's the worst decision I could have, second worst decision I could have made all night. Uh I go to sleep. By the time I wake up, we outside my house. And I get to fill in my pocket. So I'm like, man, where my phone at? Where my phone at? I asked her brother, which is my homeboy at the time, like, bro, you see my phone? He like, nah. I'm like, where's your sister at? He like, she right here. And she's walking back to the car at the time. I can see her crying. I'm like, man, fuck, this bitch done went through my phone. I'm already knowing she done went through my phone. So man, she opened up the door. She like, your phone done, and so are we. I'm like, all right, that's cool. I'll go buy another. You know, I'm high, so I'm not feeling the emotions that she's feeling because she just got found out she getting seated on. So uh man, I'm gonna put the car. I'm starting to walk up the driveway. She walk up that motherfucker. I'm telling her, I ain't hear no car door closed. So I turn around and I'm like, look, and as I'm talking about, Around to look, boom, boom, boom. She starts cracking me. I'm like, oh man. Instead of walking in the house, I walk her back down there to her brother. I'm like, man, get this bitch and get the fuck on somewhere. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, I tripping. He like, nah, bro, y'all need to calm down. Yada, yada, yada. One thing led to another. We start talking. I'm like, bro, if she hit me again, I'm like, I'm beating your ass. Like, that's, you know. That's what it's come down to. And man, I should have just walked in the house, bro. Instead. And then she hit me again, I hit her. And then punched him. I shot five times. You know, I should have kept my hands to myself as a lot of should have cut a woodison, but in that situation, I knew God was on my side. Cause you don't get hit five times, do you still get the I would say walk, but roll the earth. You know what I'm saying? Like I'm I'm here. Learn my lesson. You know? Yeah. Where all did you get shot? Uh so hold on. I got like right here in my left shoulder is the one that paralyzed me. It went through. So he shot me at a downwards angle. Imagine if you standing up, right? You only about 5'4. I'm six, it's almost six, two. He's five, four, five, five. He shot me like from his pocket. Because the gun was in his pocket. So he like, boom, you know, and it went upwards. So the bullet went in through right here into my spinal cord up here. In my back though. So like I'm showing you, it was like right here, lodged in on my spinal cord, can't get moved out or nothing. That was the first shot. Second shot threw in through my hip right here, like uh right above my ass. So like came out like right here. And then I fell on the ground, hit my face, and that's what woke me up. Because I blacked out the first shot. Like I body, body locked up, everything. I fell on the ground like this. Boom. As soon as I fell on the ground, it it woke me up. So I'm telling myself, like, get up, get up, get up. And as soon as I like, I'm getting up, I hear the gun fall. So I'm like, hurry up and get up. You know, like his gun fell. So I'm like, get up, get up. So I'm pushing up with my both of my arms at the time. And didn't know this arm was nothing wrong with it. I got to like a certain point, and I'm gonna just gave out, but I had enough upper body strength as I was like pushing up to just roll over. And as I rolled over, I looked up at bro. And when I looked up at him, I seen the barrel of the gun, so I went like this and got shot three times throwing through this right elbow right here. Luckily, ain't nothing wrong with my right arm.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:30

Was that the scariest situation you had ever been through up until that point? Yeah, most definitely. You probably didn't know like fear up until that point. But I didn't even think bro was gonna shoot me.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:41

Like I tripped out. I could have been the bigger person, you know. She hurt, her feelings hurt. I'm I'm hot, walk in the house, nigga. This is a look, listen, girl, this is a girl, you know. Like, you don't gotta touch her, she touching you. My mom always told me, don't put your hands on the female. You know, you live and you learn. You regret you, shit. I regret it, but I ain't I won't dwell on it, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:05

And I was yeah, and that was something I was gonna make a connection to earlier because we talked about like you being in second grade, I think it was, and the trumpet flute, whatever that was. And that was a young lady, but now that you Nah, that wasn't, bro.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:19

I told you that wasn't no young lady. I get what you're saying. That was man, that was a stem, man. But I'm telling that was she dressed like a boy. Yeah, I get what you're saying.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:29

You know, man. But I'm saying, like, and we talked about all the embarrassment issues and how they would cause you to react, but you probably ones.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:38

This is back exactly what you said. That night was one of them wounds. I felt embarrassed because I'm like, man, that bitch keep hitting on me, bro. You don't you don't let nobody touch on you, nobody like anybody, like she, you know, and it was me, like, bro. I'm the reason why she hitting them, you know. Love hurt, and I didn't understand how much love hurt until I ended up like this. And I woke up, I'm like, damn, that nigga really did. You know, I really was in love, and that shit really cost me my, you know, rather than me walking in the house, buying a new phone and texting her tomorrow. All this played out. So I wouldn't say I regret my decisions, but if I could go back in time, do the shit over, yeah. I'll walk in the crib, bro. I wouldn't something a little different. Things would be done different, but you can't ain't no time machines right now.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:23

Yeah. And like you, you're going through the shock of this dude actually pulling a gun and shooting at you, too.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:30

Yeah, like bro, we was cool. Like, we go out to the club, kick it, you know what I'm saying? Like, bruh, just two weeks earlier, he had got bullied. Like, somebody bullying him because of his. I ain't gonna get into all that, but he was getting bullied, and I came and I defended him, you know. Like me and my partners came and defended him. So I'm treating bruh like a real brother. Like, nigga, you're not in this like, but if some just know if somebody ever messed with you, like, good, we can we can handle that. So I felt like, damn, that's it, that's a stab in the back. Cause I looked at you like my partner, and you just shot me five times and didn't didn't think twice about it. You know what I'm saying? Like, you ain't put your hands up and punch me back. You pulled out a gun and shot me. But I mean, we should I would have done the same thing. I probably killed you, you put your hands on my sister, so I ain't about to hop back to that.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:16

Yeah, I ain't mad at you, so think about in kindergarten. Yeah, that RKO'd his ass for calling my sister a bit. Yeah, and you was grabbing chairs or whatever you could, you know. I'm saying around that time. And I'm not giving him no excuse for what he is what he did.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:31

Nah, everything he did, bro. I don't fault him for. I don't I'm not mad at him for it. I let all the anger go. Because the same thing he would have did if he put if you put him in my shoes, bro, we wouldn't have got that far. They wouldn't have got that for it. Like, we wouldn't have got that far. So I respect him for what he did. Like, I ain't gonna say, like, should I tip my cap to him for taking my legs, but I'm a grown ass man, and you did what you did for handling for helping your sister. You know what I'm saying? That's that's what any man gonna do, any brother gonna do, any shit, husband gonna do. Like, you got a wife, somebody messing with. I mean, you know, like you you I'm I'm I'm damn near six two. She's he's five four, she's five foot even. Like me, he mushing her face is like crazy. You know what I'm saying? Me punching him is even like even scarier, you know. He ain't gonna he don't want to fight back. So shit. That's if I was his size, I would have shot me too, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:22

I just look at it from although as men, we should be able to use our hands, but then you talking about you as a person who you who you told me how you was when you was younger, and period. Probably up until that point, and how you you get down with your hands and stuff.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:40

Pull a gun out on him and shoot them. Like, I'm fighting the biggest nigga in the room. Like, we could fight, win, lose, or draw. I've been taught to fight, not pull a gun out on you and kill you. Yeah, like I ain't I ain't gonna say I I till till my sister died, I ain't never experienced a death, know the feeling of how this shit hurt, but I just knew like bro, I don't like going to jail. Yeah, I knew from juvenile, like I told you, jail not for me. Being in that motherfucker is not for me. I'm away from my home, around dudes. I don't like dudes. You know what I'm saying? There's too many dudes in here, there's no girls, so this ain't for me. I knew at a young age I ain't like jail. So me killing somebody just out the out the window.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:13

So I was just speaking on the scariness of him, though. He he's probably like just he knows your record as far as like your hands and stuff. And then you you literally just had to step in for him.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:24

That's what it was. That's that's what it was. Like he knew, like, you know what I'm saying? Like, I don't, you know what I'm saying? If I uh if I fight him, I'm getting my ass beat. If I don't kill him, then you know just the repercussions like bro. He thought I was dead. He tried, he stood over me and shot me three more times. You know what I'm saying? The police still said it was self-defense, so so that that's how I look at it.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:45

Yeah, but it was now now at this point. Now I'm that's not self-defense. That's not self-defense.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:53

No, yes, I mean it is. I once I put my hands back on that little ass girl, I'm an aggressive.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:58

But once he had you on the ground, yeah, that that and uh they I'm still he still I understand he's coming from a scared place of what you but I don't know if like once you on the ground and can't really do much. I'm talking about the ground, like it's on video. I'm on the ground like this.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:14

Like I go like this, and three more shots get let off. I'm like, oh my god, this nigga trying to kill me.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:19

What's this Kansas or Missouri?

SPEAKER_01 1:14:20

Missouri.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:21

Missouri was the we don't like council walls. He wasn't like orange, you know, anything that put it with you in damage.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:28

No, I had my gun on me. Oh, did you? Yeah, okay. Did you pull the gun on him? Nah, it just flew off my waistline when I got shot. So he probably could have told him I pulled it out or something like that. Yeah, I'm I remember I punched cuz and I got shot five times. That's what it was. I yeah, yeah. Now I mushed her face. I said, hit me again, and this, you know what I'm saying? She went like this to my temple, you know. I'm like, man, bitch, smooth. I looked at bro, I'm like, bro, you keep letting her touch me.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:52

And I punched him, but it wasn't how you live and you learn, cause yeah, and and and still I understand your action in it too, because you trying to walk away and you like Yeah, I shouldn't have put my hand on the back. You shouldn't have did it, but you still trying to get away, and you like, bro, get your sister. Yeah, that's how I'm looking at you, like you my dog.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:13

Like, you didn't just hop in the car. You like, nah, yeah, trip. You need to chill out before I call my dad. And at this point, I'm like, nigga, fuck your dad. Nigga, you you call anybody over here. We're gonna turn this whole block up. Like, yeah, get this bitch and get the fuck on somewhere, man. That's that's how it was. And I'm like, so like I said, it's a lot of shit that could have gone there for me.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:31

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, but in in in the moment, and you know, you probably never seen your life flash before your eyes before. So, can you uh talk about that a little bit, how you started to feel in that time? Like the moment of when I was. When you bounce back up, because you do you even remember you didn't hit the first time. I didn't get up.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:53

Once I got shot, I stayed on the ground until the ambulance got there. So this is what I remember. Once I got shot, this arm on fire. I did feel like it got shot off. So I'm like, what the fuck? And I know my legs were stuck in the air because when my stepdad ran outside, he like, put your legs down. I'm like, what? I can't even feel them. What if you're talking about put my legs down? At this time, it's not registered enough that I'm paralyzed. I'm like, what you mean, put my legs down? I can't move my neck, nothing but this and this. So I try to go like this and lean forward, like look forward, look down. My shit really like bent in the air. Like, imagine if you laid on your back, like, and you're about to do bicycle kicks. Gotcha. That's how my legs are stuck in the air. He like, put your legs down, put your legs down. And he went to push them down. Talking about that was worse than getting shot. Pain felt harder than getting shot. I screamed, ah. He started crying. He like, man. Then the dude, best friend, tried to walk away. So he ran up on him, like, nah, get the fuck back over here, get the fuck back over here. This is all I remember seeing while I'm laying on the ground. My little brother came outside with his gun in his hand. He like, nah, go put that up, go put that up. And it's the police on the way. I'm trying to tell him, like, my gun on the floor over there, my gun on the floor over there. He's like, Where, where? I'm like, over there somewhere. My little brother tried to find it. He came back over there too. He's like, bro, I can't find it. I'm like, all right, it's cool. He like, put your legs down. Nigga, why y'all keep telling me put my legs down? My legs not up in the air. He goes to push him down. I scream even louder because he pushed with like some force. Like, mm. I'm like, ah. He started crying. I'm like, why you crying? He like, bro, just stay with me, bro. Just stay with me. I'm looking at him. I this is what I remember. I go like this. And he smacked the fuck out of me and woke me up. I'm like, bro, you hit me like that again, I beat your ass. I'm side on the ground. He's doing wow. You smack the fuck out of me. I'm like, nigga, you hit me like that again, I beat your ass. He's like, bro, stay awake till they get here, bro. So I turn my head back this way and look. I'm like, all I hear is her screaming and them talking to me. I look back this way, I see the amble lamps. I'm like, bro, I'm going to sleep. He like, nah, you can't go to sleep. You can't go to sleep. I'm talking about as soon as I see them bright ass lights from the back of the amble lamps, sleep. While I'm sleeping, I wouldn't even call it sleep. I don't know what it was, but when I passed out, I would say passed out. It was like images of like my daughter, you know, like my niece, uh, my sister, my mom, images of all the good times of my life. And then it was like just a long ass trail, like with no light at the end of it. Like, if I went that way, I'm gonna, you know, stay asleep forever. If I go this way towards these pictures, I'm gonna wake up, you know. So I kept looking at the pictures, kept looking at the pictures, and 18 hours later I woke up in the hospital. That's what it was.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:48

Who is her? You said she was screaming. Who who is she?

SPEAKER_01 1:18:54

So she was yeah, once he shot me, she was screaming, what the fuck? Oh my god, oh my god. I woke up. She came to visit me in the hospital. I'm like, man, what the hell?

SPEAKER_00 1:19:05

If you care uh to share, what is that conversation like?

SPEAKER_01 1:19:10

She's like, I'm sorry, I'm like, shit, no, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have put my hands on you. I shouldn't have cheated, you know. Like two wrongs don't make a right, you know, three lefts do, but we can't go back in time and change the shit. My mama walked in there and she seen her, she like, get your ass out of here. She left, crying and shit, text me like this will never work. I'm like, Yeah, you're right.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:33

Yeah. Do you feel like you had some type of, even though you seen you said you were seeing the pictures and stuff, some type of uh connection with God at that moment. So because you done wake right up and forgive her, like you already had that forgiveness in you.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:48

I knew I was wrong. I knew my mom always told me my whole life, don't put your hands on the female, don't put your hands on the female. Because like I told you, she's 5'1. I'm so mad I mushed her. Like I ain't, it wasn't like a little push. Like I mushed her whole face. Yeah, she fell and I punched her brother. I'm I'm sorry. You know what I'm saying? I that's how I woke up and I instantly knew, like, bro, if I wouldn't have mushed that bitch face, I probably wouldn't have got shot. If I would have just punched, bro, he probably would have, he probably still would have shot me. But if I'd have just took my anger out on him for not getting hurt, then would have been left as it is, but nah. I felt like God was there when I when I woke up and knew, you know what I'm saying? You ain't supposed to wake up from getting shot. I bet my my bullet is like 0.3 of a centimeter away from my CA vertebrate to make me like completely brain dead. Like I'm not even supposed to be here right now.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:39

Yeah, I just know, man, a lot of us like we don't see that clear once something so tragic happens. It's your fault. Whoever was there, it was your fault. It wasn't and for you to be that clear and nah.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:54

This shit my fault, but you don't put your hands on nobody, you don't. That's tough. You know what I'm saying? I'm a grown man. If I would have walked in that house and made the right decision that night, then I'll be walking. And my decisions led me to to affect the people around me, and that's what it was. And I commend you for that. Yeah, that's tough. I got no anger towards the dude, no anger towards the girl, no anger towards the people that didn't charge him with attempted murder. You know what I'm saying? Same shit he would have did, I would have done.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:19

Have y'all spoke since? No, I reached out to him and told him, like, bro, I ain't mad at you. I ain't know how to sports bed at the time. So I told him, like, shit, whenever you get a chance, teach me how to do that shit. You know what I'm saying? He never straight up. He never responded back to me. So I'm like, shit, it ain't no hate in my blood. You know what I'm saying? I ain't I don't hate you. That's um I can't have no hate. Hate not gonna get me nowhere in life.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:40

So big of you, bro. The pro the the the uh journey in the hospital, like the the recovery time and like your days in the hospital, how was that?

SPEAKER_01 1:21:52

Long, man, long. Uh I knew I knew it as soon as, you know what I'm saying, as soon as uh I woke up. Probably like seven minutes into me make in into me waking up. My doctor came in there and was like, You see these? I'm like, Yeah. He like, don't worry about using them again. Mama, like, what the fuck? You just tell him, get out. Like, you know, she starts going off on him. Like, what kind of shit is that? That's a that's a good way to, you know, to motivate somebody, you know. So uh I just start crying. I'm like, man. Then it snapped into me, like, bro, he ain't God. He not the nigga that's gonna tell me if I can walk again. You know what I'm saying? So that motivated me to like, no, bro. I ain't about to be sad that I can't walk. I'm not about to be crying that I can't walk. I'm gonna get out here and find out how I'm gonna live if I can't walk, if that makes sense. So if I ever do walk again, I'm good if I don't walk again, you know. That's how I looked at the situation. I ain't it'd be days to where I'd be like, fuck, I wish I could get up and go. You know what I'm saying? It'd be days like now, like, fuck, I wish I was on time, you know. But shit, this is what came with my life. I got I run on other people's time. I never knew the importance of needing somebody until I became in this situation, not even physically, just mentally needing somebody, listening, talking, advocating for me. Shit's important. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:09

But your your your time in the hospital and everything you went through and smooth.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:15

Every like I ain't I did my physical therapy, my doctor. I feel like research broke my brachial plexus because it wasn't like when I first got injured, I could lift my hands. So, like, I'm gonna just show you. I can move my whole arm, you know. My whole arm moved. I can, you know, yeah, it just feel more comfortable sitting right here because my brachial plexus nerve is like it's gone. But uh, when I first got shot, I could move all my fingers, like my whole hand moved. I was just in a sling, you know, because like my uh collarbone got shattered. I can't even show you, but this got shattered. So they had me in a sling, and one day these two girls was transferring me, and I'm like, Y'all sure y'all not gonna drop me? And they laughed and they like, nah, we ain't gonna drop you. I'm like, all right. So as they transferring me, my my sling wasn't hooked up and I didn't know him. Man, I'm talking about whole orange went from like sling motion to like thing. I'm talking about screaming the loudest. I didn't scream. They like, oh my god, oh my god, we are so sorry. And ever since then, like I ain't been able to like, you know, I used to be able to do this when I first got shot. I can't even do this now. And I just was like, fuck it, I'ma roll with it. But I feel like they broke my brachioplexes in the hospital and didn't tell me about it until after I discharged and went to my outpatient uh rehab.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:40

What was your uh how did you find peace in the hospital though? Because you just went through this and then this is a life-changing event that you then went through. Like it, everything can't be peaches or cream unless you got some type of shit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:59

I say music. I like shoes. So, you know, I started watching shoes videos. I'm like, shit, I'm gonna sit down for a minute. I might as well start collecting shoes. So I watched shoes videos. My best friend that I had since the childhood, you know, she came up there and every chance she got helped me, bathed me, like did more than what the people there did. So I commend her for that. So it was just that. That's what it was. Like the people that was around me made it easier, they made it, made it smoother, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:28

Yeah, it started making you appreciate people more.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:31

Yeah, like especially the ones like I told you when I was high, I was always angry with, always, you know, arguing with, fighting with. Now that I'm clear, ain't took no, you know, in two, three weeks, I'm like, damn, I really did. Used to be like angry all the time, mad all the time. I'm laid up in the hospital bed thinking this like, man, life was bad back then. This is the good life. This the this is gonna be the great life. You know, I ain't hot no more. This is gonna be the the life I want to live. So yeah, I don't need to, I don't need to think about that shit no more. Did you go on an apology tour? Nah, I ain't uh oh okay. You see the change, that's the apology. I ain't about yeah, I ain't about to reach out to everybody. Hey man, I'm sorry I wasn't off my 30s that one day and I I wanted to fuck you up. Yeah, no, we ain't doing that, but you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_00 1:26:18

Uh yeah, but you know you like them feet to look good and the only thing that be bothering me, bro.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:26

I gotta keep the catheter in. So you know the pentwell, you see how this pinweg all the way down, it was up. I'd be like, man, I ain't got no hot waters. I promise I promise no pretty good. I'm talking about I had on the mini jeans the other day for my sister's birthday. Man, one pinwig all the way down, one all the way up here. I'm like, I'm looking at my pictures, like, man, this shit bad. Man, ain't no much going on, bruh. Them be the little problems that I'd be like, man, man, that'd be the yeah, yeah. Downfall to being paralyzed. You be out in public, you done use the restroom on yourself. You looking around at everybody, like, man, who got a kid around here in the city whole time it's you. You like, man, fuck, bruh. Now I gotta go home, get right. It'd be it'd be them moments that'd be more humbling than like not walking. Understood.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:13

Going home, getting into like after leaving the hospital, getting home, and you know what is life like after that, like, cause we gotta figure out who's gonna be wheeling you around or whatever. I know you got the uh uh electric thing, but people still gotta like watch you help you. My mama do all that. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:34

And I don't need like nobody, like everything you probably do in the morning, like breast teeth, wash the face, you know. Usually I do all that shit. Like my mama helped me. The the coming home was like my mom, my mom, my friends, you know. And my sister, my that passed away. She was big, big help to everything. Like, I needed help getting in the bed. My mama was at work, she, you know, she helped me in the bed. I needed help putting my shoes on in the morning. I can get dressed, but I can't put my shoes on. So if I need help putting my shoes on in the morning, see there. It's just my mom and my sister and the actual friends I do got, not the ones I had when I was high. But uh that's what it was. Like just learning how to navigate, like how to use the kitchen, use the sink, uh, put toothpaste on a damn toothbrush with one hand. You know, it's it's a dog in here. Nah, no, no, that's it's I'm like, what the fuck is that? Hey, I was about to run, I mean, roll up at it. I'm bro, it's like, hey, hold on, bro. Hold on, hold on, oh no way. It hit the floor, it hit the floor. I got scared. I'm like, hold on, no, I bet not. I'm talking about that. Sounds like Bruno. How long ago did this happen? Almost three years. August, it was August 26, 2023.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:57

Yeah. And how old was your your daughter at that time? One. Uh so this is what she knows.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:05

She was one going on two, yeah. Yeah, this is what she knows. Like, she got memories, you know, me holding her, me, you know, me like being around while she was a baby, but not vividly as much as she would now. This the this is my dad. My dad needs his chair. My dad, you know, like she real like defensive of her dad ass. She don't play that. Like, what why you messing with my daddy? Like, I was getting my tattoo for my sister the other day on my face. She walked in my room. What you doing to my daddy? To the tattoo artist. I'm like, man, come on your business.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:38

I love her daddy, man.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:39

That that she don't she don't play that. And then if I if I spas or I have spasms real bad, if my legs get the kicking up in the air, like it'll go like don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. She'll come over like, Dada, you okay? You need to go to the doctor? I'd be like, man, it ain't that deep. I'm good. So yeah, she real, real, like, she a princess, man. I love it. I didn't I didn't value the the time that I had before this. So now I'd be like real thankful that God gave me the second chance to be able to know money ain't money ain't everything. Money not gonna money gonna be here when I'm gone. You know what I'm saying? The memories that we make, not, you know, that's what's that's what I had to get from this situation.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:21

Yeah. What type of stuff do y'all like to do together, Union Dor?

SPEAKER_01 1:30:25

See, she likes painting, she liking tag, she likes playing hide and seek. I'd be like, that can't run. You can be, you know what I'm saying? Right, shit. I'll chase you. You, you know, I'm eat all the time. I'm the one that's gonna be the one to chase you. So it's like uh, yeah, it's that. I mean, she likes going out. I take I got her bowling, a bowling pass. So she likes doing anything kids do, like anything. She got a lot of cousins on her mama's side. Mama got 13 siblings. So anytime you know they got any shit. Go ahead. I send I you wanna go with them, go ahead. I send you the money for it. She just like my my leg just like being outside. Yeah, anything to do it outside, she she loves it.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:03

You may mention your sister a couple times. What happened to your sister? Uh man is this the one that you use to wrestle all the time?

SPEAKER_01 1:31:13

Yeah, man, my dog, man. She on my home screen, guys. That's where I got in my name. Uh February 10th this year. She was in the car with her boyfriend. They both got shot. Shot and killed. That's what it was. That's what it is. And she what 27 at the time? She no, she 26. She just turned 27, the man 11. She was 26. She left as a three-year-old though, bad as hell. Yeah, she used to always tell me, like, I ain't having no kids. I ain't having no kids. She had her kid. I called her home.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:14

Where were you at when you received that news?

SPEAKER_01 1:32:18

I'm the one that found out. I'm the one that had to tell my mama. You found out online or something? Nah, I called the blast person that I knew she was with. He told me to call this person. I called this person. And uh it was the dude's sister. She like, Fredge. I'm like, yeah, man, you know who this is. Where the fuck my sister? He like, she like, I ain't gonna be the one to tell you this. I never talked to you before. I'm like, man, what? Quick, man, tell me what. So I get to trip and I'm like, man, tell me what. By this time I already felt it in my stomach. You know, something bad to happen to my sister. She left her phone here. The location where this homicide said is the last location that I know where she be. Like, I can zoom in on this, on this location, and I know it's there. Like, I so her just telling me was confirmation of, you know. Like, all right. I started screaming. I'm talking about like just screaming. I couldn't even cry. I'm just screaming, screaming, screaming. Cause my mama, before she went upstairs to go to sleep, she told me, let me know when you figure out where the fuck your sister is. Because my sister always used to just leave, you know, come back. Shit, I got her daughter. You know, sis, she good. She knows your daughter with her uncle. She leave, come back. But she never, never left her phone. Never left her phone. So that was why my mama, like, find out where your sister is. I'm talking about 20 minutes later, she came back in from smoking a cigarette. She's like, it was just a homicide over there about where your sister be at. Man, what? Show me. She showed me the exact location. I'm talking about I knew. I couldn't tell her right then and there, but I'm like, once I find out, it's just gonna confirm that I already know, you know? Like, because once she showed me the location, I'm talking my stomach dropped. I'm like, and it was one of them ones, like, yeah, never feel this feeling in your stomach again. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:10

You said she never leave her phone, man. She left it at your house.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:14

Left it at the house. I'm telling my last conversation we had. I'm sitting out back, I'm smoking my blunt. And she comes out there, she's like, hey, I'm about to go send the car to my boyfriend. I know her boyfriend, cool, dude, you know? And then I wouldn't say shit, you know. He the reason why she did, because he's not. You know what I'm saying? People that's jealous, people that don't know how to control they they guns or they feelings is the reason why my sister and him is dead. So I ain't mad at him or her. But uh, nah, she told me, like, I'm about to go outside, I'm about to go smoke with my boyfriend. You know, me being an asshole. I'm like, hey, your motherfucking daughter here, don't leave all night. Right, right. So I'm playing with this like six o'clock. Man, my dog was dead by 10:30, cuh. Shot over 14 times, cuh. That shit. Like, this is how I know it'd be like a strong mind over matter thing. Cause probably four years ago, if I got this news and I was walking, you know what I'm saying? I'd have got the taking, taking medicines. You just getting high, trying not to feel it. But now I'd be like, bro, I deal with this shit. It's deaf, death, real. Like you live, you know, life goes on. I live through her. That's why I put LLB on the wall. Said I'm doing this shit for her. She'd be proud of me. What's her name? If you don't mind, Brittany.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:31

Brittany. Fine peace, yeah. Yeah. And then with her being like the uh closest to you, I know. I'm talking about you reflecting on her beating you up, you being my dog though.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:47

Like, one time I'm trying to smoke my black, right? She in the car, she using my mama car. My mama know I smoke black, but I guess she didn't want me to smoke my black. She like, get in the back seat with that. I'm like, man, what? This is my mama's car. I'm not getting in the back seat. So I'm like, to avoid the argument, I just hop in the back seat. Roll the window down. I try to light my black. She done rolled the window up. I'm like, bro, you just told me to get the fuck in the back seat. We not doing this. She like, you riding with me. Nigga, you're in my mama car. I'm like, I got mad at him. I'm like, bro, quit playing with me, bro. I'm gonna crack your ass.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:17

So I'm she thought I was back back.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:20

She thought I was playing. I must have opened the door. I looked at her right before I got out. Crack. I'm talking about I ain't making out the car by the time she was on my back. I'm like, oh man, we about to be fighting for an hour. Well, y'all said, I'm fighting for about 30 minutes. My cousin pulled up. He done broke herself. Like broke herself from fighting. I'm like, bro, that bitch don't get tired, bro. I can't fight. That's what I'm telling, bro. Like, man, she don't get tired, bro. He like, bro, you gotta chill. That's your sister. I'm like, bro, she don't get tired. Like, she cracking me. I'm slamming her. I ain't even hitting her. I'm just slamming her. You hear the slam, she get back up. Dink, ding, ding, ding, ding. Curr we not doing this, cuz. It's not what we do. Like, she don't, she about 100 pounds soaking with five, five, three in a fight. Fight like the fight. Man, to fight the world. But when she had her kids, she calmed down, hell is changed her life. She was stealing cars at like 13, cuz she went from stealing cars to a dental assistant.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:18

So I'm like, yeah, she did a whole three, whole three season in her life, man. Like uh, do y'all have that type of relationship that even after something serious happened, y'all just mess with each other to where the point after what happened to you? She probably like can't do nothing with me now, type deal.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:37

Nah, she still know, like I'll grab her ass up in the hood too. Like, all my siblings know, like, if I get mad enough, getting this right hand is snatching somebody up. We getting in the headlock. If I if I get it a good enough grip, like I'm putting the whole thing in drive. Like, you coming with me while I'm yeah, while I'm while while you in the headline, like it was an altercation one day. Me and my big sister, I love her to death, man. She told me, like, nigga, that's why you in the chair now. I'm like, what? But she she out of her body, she's not in that right state of body. So I'm like, man, what who the fuck is you talking to? Cause she must have tried to walk out the door when she said it. Put this bitch in turbo mode. I'm talking about I get the door right after. She on the porch talking to my mama. Then I swung the door open. I done kicked the screen door open. I'm talking about like on some movie type shit. She like, bro, why you coming out here? You not gonna do nothing? Who not gonna do nothing? Right in her mouth. Man, quit point on me. Cause I'm talking about she done try to push me out the wheelchair. I'm like, I ain't going nowhere, dumbass. I ain't going. I got dorms dressed on both sides. Like, you still steady pushing me. I ain't going nowhere. My mom like, stop, stop, stop. I'm talking about that was the funniest, like, most violent experience I had in my wheelchair.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:45

In my wheelchair. And y'all just have four. That's good that y'all could have that type of. I mean, you shouldn't be fighting in a wheelchair, but y'all still right back to.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:55

So you never seen that baddies on wheel show, did you, huh? Nah, I ain't never. Man, you go tune into that, you probably, you probably have to pray after you watch that movie.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:04

See, my grandma is uh she in a wheelchair and like a you don't gotta pray then. You good. Yeah, like six years ago, her and her sister, her little sister tried her, and they was sitting in the car and they was the same level and she put hands on her wrist.

SPEAKER_01 1:39:18

I'm talking about you better not let me be like sitting down or in the bed and I grab a hold of you. Oh yeah, you're not going nowhere. I'm talking about boy. I what I never knew how strong wheelchair people was till I became one. Nah, even like working out, happen to like transfer myself doing this, like having to stretch and shit, but I still like bro. I feel like I gotta fucking rock on my right arm. Like you give me one punch, then I got anybody. Are going to sleep. That's how I'm going to sleep. That's how I be feeling with my right hand.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:46

Yeah. Yeah. Uh what is your mission now, though? Like uh, because I heard you talked about uh going to other places and speaking to shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:39:58

Really, my mission is I just want to tell people like, see, how you look ain't who you is, how you act ain't who you are. You know, you ain't got to be influenced by nothing. As long as I can go into a room and speak to 10 people and touch one of them, then I did my job, you know. Like I want to just speak to like really starting now, people that's in my situation, like you know, because it's hard for them to wake up every day and still feel happy that their life not the same, that they had a life-changing event. When really, shit, life the same life what you making, just like how it was when you was walking. So I feel like I'm gonna start here with doing this, but I want to go talk to like the youth, you know, because it ain't gonna get no better until we got somebody to go tell them, like, hey, bro, I care about you. If nobody at home cares about you, I care about you. If you ain't got nobody that that listen to you or love you, bro, I love you. I'm I'm gonna be the one. So that's my goal. I feel like that's my purpose. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:53

So do you feel like this had to happen in a way?

SPEAKER_01 1:40:56

It had to. I wouldn't have never stopped and thought like, nah, I would have never stopped and thought, like, man, let me stop getting high, let me stop doing this, let me stop living like that. I would have never, never, ever. So yeah, God set me down to open up my eyes and be better, be a better me, you know, be the best version of me. And that may sound crazy, Sam, but shit, it's reality.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:22

Yeah. What is your uh connection with God look like now as far as like how do y'all interact with each other?

SPEAKER_01 1:41:31

I wouldn't even say like I pray or nothing like that. I just know it's a high power up there watching me. And as long as I'm doing good down here and I ain't doing you know nothing crazy, no harm to nobody, and I feel like shit, we we gonna have a strong connection. So like I'm not the one to say I see her and go to church every Sunday or nothing like that, because I be lying. But I feel like as long as I do right by the people that's right by me, then shit, I'm gonna I'm gonna make it into heaven.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:56

Man, it takes a strong, like, strong mindset, and I guess hard too to even stay connected to God or be connected with God what after after something like that happened.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:07

Even that, not even when my sister just passed away, like I was questioning, bro. Like I kept questioning them, like, bro, I you know why why her? Why I didn't die tonight I got shot. Why you didn't put her my my, you know, she you know, she better than me. And then I had to stop doing that, I had to stop questioning them. I feel like everything happened for a reason. The good, the bad, the ugly, the questionable, you know? And it's shit, you gotta live on how you gonna make that change with the with the shit that you wanna question them for or with the I that's how that's how I had to go about it. Like I can't keep questioning you. Let me let me figure out why you did that. Let me let me live my life, and maybe you'll show signs in front of me of why you took my sister from me, why you put me in this wheelchair, you know, and now so like I told you, I got the signs and why you put me in the wheelchair. Man, the more I go down the road, the more I know why you took my sister from me. I won't question it.

SPEAKER_00 1:43:04

As close as y'all are or y'all were, or are, do you still feel her presence in certain things or you see her daughter do something?

SPEAKER_01 1:43:12

Man, I head look just like her mama. I'm talking about my niece act just like her mama. Ain't scared of nothing, it's her way or the highway, terrified of bugs. Let me get that, let me rephrase that. It's not scared of nothing, but a but a but a shit on herself if she got a bug on it. I'm talking about go crazy. Man, that's all I see in my niece is her mama. Cause like, damn, you act just like your mama. And I I be thinking like, shit, Brittany, you did this for a reason. You had this little girl for a reason. It's just the reason. I wouldn't say this the reason, but you left for something to look forward to.

SPEAKER_00 1:43:53

Yeah. So in those times where you like smile and chuckle or something like that.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:57

And then even then when I do get sad and I, you know, think about my dog, like, don't get me wrong, I let it out. I cry. But after so long, she'll probably pinch me or something. Like, man, then quit crying, man. Quit all that crying. You we don't do that, you know. So I'd be like, I'd snap back into reality, like, bro, quit all that crying, bro. You know, she'll beat the shit out of you. She sees you crying like this. I'm talking about I was in the hospital crying because I was sad, you know. She came in and like, why you sad? I'm like, man, I can't walk. She like, nigga, you knew that when you woke up. Come on, quit playing. I'm like, all right. So I just know, like, she ain't she ain't gonna lie.

SPEAKER_00 1:44:28

That's a way of lifting you up.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:29

She ain't one of the ones, like, she ain't for the sadness, she ain't for the scariness, she's the toughest lady I ever knew.

SPEAKER_00 1:44:37

You know, while you say that, your sister probably cried when you wasn't around about your situation, though. Oh boy. She just knew she had to come in there, and that was her way of lifting you up. Like, I was definitely if you got any, I feel like you gave us a lot of words, but if you got anything else you want to leave the people for their minds and their hearts, and if you want to praise it.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:00

For their minds and their hearts, man. Just be humble. Anything could be taken from anything you worked hard for, it could be taken from anything that you done felt like you done put time and effort, then it could be taken for you. Always remain humble. You know what I'm saying? But never treat nobody like less than what they are because you got more uh shit. Every action don't deserve a reaction, you know what I'm saying? Learn like self-discipline, if that makes sense. A lot of people don't got that. And then shit, like I said, this shit, mind over matter with everything you do. If you think about it, then ain't no way you can go wrong about it. If you do, then you gotta fuck that mom. That's really it.

SPEAKER_00 1:45:42

How you feel about closing us in prayer? Hey, it ain't gonna be long, man.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:46

That's whatever you however father. I want to say thank you for letting me meet Domo. Thank you, Lord, and take the time on my day to try to touch the people that's gonna see this. And uh keep your hands wrapped around everybody, everybody, and anybody and uh make sure that uh how do I say this then? Uh every day you wake up, you bless, you know. Every day that you do something, you bless, and when you see something, you bless. Don't take nothing for granted and just live your life to the fullest because you only get one more. Amen.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:33

Amen. Appreciate you. The goal is to leave a lasting imprint on their minds and their hearts, we pray you be an indelibly mark. My bad. Appreciate you.